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China Buys Google

Zonk posted more than 8 years ago | from the are-you-feeling-loyal,-citizen? dept.

70

Fry-kun writes "The Register reports that a controlling amount of Google's Class B stock was purchased today a corporate entity owned by the Chinese Ministry of Information." From the article: "Amongst the assets acquired by the Chinese government is NASA's Ames Research Center. Google announced a partnership with Ames last year, and, as it turns out, the move laid the groundwork for the takeover by the PRC. The Chinese will gain control of the world's largest wind tunnels - devices that when opened up could be used to push the smell of Mu Shu Pork across much of Silicon Valley, or conversely be used to spread avian bird flu, or mind-altering substances."

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first post on april first (-1, Troll)

programgeek (726420) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042527)

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First (or near first) post (0, Redundant)

jrmcferren (935335) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042528)

It's april fools day, now mod me up really high

Re:First (or near first) post (1)

jrmcferren (935335) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042576)

OK, no more screwing around. The article shows pictures that accurately display what china would do to google. While this will not happen it is possible that this will give the tech industry a bettery view of what everyone thinks of china.

Sure! (1)

Kickboy12 (913888) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042529)

I love the smell of Mu Shu Pork in the morning.

Re:Sure! (1)

TheOldFart (578597) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042575)


You're more likely to get pooh pooh platter today though...

Re:Sure! (1)

mumblingrepublican (965314) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043309)

Smells like victory!

But does cHina like PICKLES??? (-1, Offtopic)

ILikePickles (965290) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042531)

well? do they??? Because i luvs PICKLES!!!

Re:But does cHina like PICKLES??? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042664)

Shut the hell up, Darren [slashdot.org] . Nobody wants you here. Besides, aren't you a little old for this?

lfmao (4, Funny)

alx5000 (896642) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042539)

Free Google? I'll take it... [On the phone] China? I have something you might want, but it's going to cost you. That's right, all the tea.

Re:lfmao (1)

sirber (891722) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043075)

lol! I just watched that episode yesterday :D

RTFA (4, Funny)

thefirelane (586885) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042541)

Even the article gets it wrong, it really is: "Google Buys China"

prOn (1)

climbon321 (874929) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042550)

Will I still be able to google for pr0n?

Re:RTFA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042585)

As usual, the story posted by Zonk is by far the lamest. LAMEST.

Re:RTFA (1)

Jonny Ringo (444580) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042921)

I new it was wrong when it says China has a ministry. HAHAHA, fools China banned religion a while ago!!

Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1, Troll)

plankrwf (929870) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042542)

I'm glad that within a few hours, life will return to normal.
Roel

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1, Flamebait)

arakon (97351) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042563)

Yeah I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets tired of this stupid shit. It's not even funny, just juvenile for the most part. Check other news sites and see how many of them are running "April Fools" jokes (outside of their normal sensationalistic crap). This is officially the one day of the year I'd rather read CNN/FOX news than slashdot.

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (0, Troll)

outZider (165286) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042615)

It would do you well to "get over it". Slashdot isn't CNN. At the end, it's still run by a bunch of geeky kids who grew up. Kinda.

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042617)

This is officially the one day of the year I'd rather read CNN/FOX news than slashdot.

And yet you've chosen to continue reading Slashdot. Why is that?

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

arakon (97351) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042794)

because I've already read about as much as I can take of CNN?

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

binarybum (468664) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042638)

Yeah I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets tired of this stupid shit.
Man, quit being such a dullard. [file-place.com]

This is officially the one day of the year I'd rather read CNN/FOX news than slashdot

          Then this "officially" the day I ask what oppressive force is making you read and post on /. today?

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

Andrzej Sawicki (921100) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042684)

It's the voices, obviously. Why do you have to ask?

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

arakon (97351) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042698)

I work weekends in a boring ass job by myself where I wait for the BIG RED button to start blinking. I have an 8x10 room full of control panels, a bathroom and an internet connection with VERY limited access to what i can read (filtered gov job). SO it gets a bit old when there is absolutely nothing worth reading while I sit here for 10 hours until my shift is over. I realize that I probably have a fairly unique situation and that other people may have the option to roam and read whatever they please.

Sure you want to run an April fools joke? fine but don't be the ass that sits there all day with whoopie cushions and hand buzzers that just won't give it a rest. There is such a thing as TOO MUCH.

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1, Redundant)

EnsilZah (575600) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042579)

GMT time?
Ah, you must be from the redundant department of redundancy.

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

jacksonj04 (800021) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043432)

It's self-fulfilling moderation!

Re:Glad only few "GMT time" before it's April 2nd (1)

plankrwf (929870) | more than 8 years ago | (#15044555)

Wow, actually scoring a 'Troll' for a posting... (see parent). Well, wondered whether 'Good Karma' would last...
Roel

Obvious next step (0, Offtopic)

elwin_windleaf (643442) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042543)

Oh come on, you can't tell me you didn't see this one coming.

Now really, why would a company like Google start cooperating with the 'evil' intentions of a controlling government like China? It's been obvious for some time that Google was looking into ways to diversify it's sources of earnings, and it had already capitalized on most of the 'good' out there. It's company policy of "Do No Evil" doesn't specify anything about profiting from pre-existing evil. A closer association with China was inevitable.

mmmm, mu shu fish head (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042545)

/me grubs on the eye sockets *

I for one (4, Funny)

themusicgod1 (241799) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042557)

I, for one, welcome our new Chinese Google Overlords

Re:I for one (1)

Firehed (942385) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042748)

I belive the soon-to-be-accepted term for that is Chinooglords (Chai-new-gul-oards).

Re:I for one (1)

sryx (34524) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043416)

I, for one, welcome our new Chinese Google Overlords

New?
-Jason

Re:I for one (1)

warrior_s (881715) | more than 8 years ago | (#15044703)

I, for one, welcome our new Chinese Google Overlords
may be you mean "Choogle" Overlords.

More then 400 more joke sites from today (3, Informative)

Urgo (28400) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042560)

For the third year in a row, Urgo's list of April Fool's Jokes on Websites [urgo.org] contains the most complete list of April Fool's Day pranks websites have created. Featured by news.com.com.com.. [com.com] and Microsoft [microsoft.com] , the site strives to list EVERY joke site, and is updated every few minutes with new verified jokes.

Here is a sample, the twenty most popular ones:
blog.outer-court.com [outer-court.com] - Google Rooms
thinkgeek.com [thinkgeek.com] - USB Tanning Center, RFID Blocking T-shirt, Grow Your mymsnsearch.com [mymsnsearch.com] - fake (but hilariously accurate) search results gtachicago.com [gtachicago.com] - gta chicago does not exist, (*hint check the whois info*)
tveps.net [tveps.net] - Isaac 'Chef' Hayes not leaving southpark after all. Comes clean that it was a publicity stunt.
iwantoneofthose.com [iwantoneofthose.com] - tiny device that downloads your brain's memory to a 2GB USB Flash Drive
blizzard.com [blizzard.com] - BLIZZARD ENTERTAINMENT® PRESENTS BURGERCRAFT(TM)
bolloxcomics.co.uk [bolloxcomics.co.uk] - Myspace parody
figuiere.net [figuiere.net] - int is_computer_on(void)
wiebetech.com [wiebetech.com] - 5 TB iPod
googlesystem.blogspot.com [blogspot.com] - Google Browser is finally launched. Installer 1.68MB
steampowered.com [steampowered.com] - VALVe purchased by Apple
slashdot.org [slashdot.org] - OMG!!! PONIES!!! (and pink layout)
ogrish.com [ogrish.com] - (NSFW) Bizarre Baby Born In Nepal
worldofwarcraft.com [worldofwarcraft.com] - Blizzard to put Wisps as a playable race for World of Warcraft.
gearlog.com [gearlog.com] - Laptop Lingerie: Bringing Tech & Pleasure Together
2600.com [2600.com] - 200600 google spoof
bungie.net [bungie.net] - Bungie's next game, Pimps At Sea, progessing nicely for the Xbox360
forums.worldofwarcraft.com [worldofwarcraft.com] - World of Warcraft 1.11 patch notes leaked
theregister.co.uk [theregister.co.uk] - customise The Register to suit your needs - from blocking ads, to selecting the kind of stories you really want to read.

Oh my... (1)

FourStarGeneral (851478) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042703)

Anybody else getting tired of this guy? I, for one, am appalled that /. continues to allow such an obvious spammer to keep posting.

Re:Oh my... (1)

coolGuyZak (844482) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042923)

He's not spamming. He's karma whoring. (or possibly both).

No, no... (5, Funny)

SheeEttin (899897) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042562)

No, no, you have it all wrong.
Google buys China. It's cheap (why do you think all the toys are?), so this is where Google begins its plans for world domination.
Google does no evil at all--in fact, by buying up the world and controlling it, it makes it much less evil. One's own purposes are never evil.

Love it! (3, Funny)

Beckiewink (965318) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042565)

I just wanted to say, I LOVE the new redesign and I totally hope you keep it. Please? I even registered just to say that I LOVE it.

Re:Love it! (1)

VJ42 (860241) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042641)

Me Too!

I love teh ponies!!!111

Re:Love it! (1)

romiz (757548) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042791)

I LOVE the new redesign

Just go to the games section, the color scheme looks ugly like that everyday.

SUCK MY ASS (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042566)

IN soviet russia, tacofuck commanders you!

Big Bucking Chicken, anyone? (1)

missjackie (820265) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042571)

Oh my god! Invasion of Mu Shu Chicken!

Class B stock? (2, Interesting)

Frodo420024 (557006) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042572)

I thought the class B stock was the one without voting power?

OTOH, on a day like this, Everything you know is wrong [dmweb.free.fr] .

That explains it! (1)

edwardpickman (965122) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042592)

Every time I type in "Porn" it takes me to a site on Mao. I thought it was a typo at first.

April 1nd (-1, Redundant)

zippthorne (748122) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042598)

I thought there were supposed to be joke articles today...

Google to Googlize the Googlenet. (2, Informative)

Domo-Sun (585730) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042623)

Google has purchased the Googleheimer Googlesphere to further Googlize the Googlenet into a Googlable Googlben. Google's googlies and googlans are gabbling to Googlize Googillion Googlepoo Googies, for the Goodness of the Googlopolis.

A spokesperson for MSN was Googled as saying: "Oh, crap."

Disturbing (-1, Redundant)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042642)

This site is completely and utterly useless on the 1st of April. There are no real jokes here, jokes are not necessarily lies about things that didn't happen. There are other jokes, subtle but more funny ones, where the reader would be reading something and maybe believing it, because the truth is somewhat modified, but not completely. I cannot stand these totally made up stories. And the color palette is appalling.

Google (1)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042663)

By the way, I didn't see anything on Google that would confirm that they are playing any practical jokes on people today.

You know, they could be funnier. I suggest a game here, on /.
Select a topic, and imagine what Google search could have returned as hits for that topic, but in a funny sort of way.

Example:
User Searches For: laptops
Google Returns List of: exotic lap dancers

See what I mean?

Re:Google (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042743)

By the way, I didn't see anything on Google that would confirm that they are playing any practical jokes on people today.

Take another look, its on the main page.

Re:Google (1)

qzulla (600807) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042805)

I would say google romance [google.com] qualifies.

Take the tour.

qz

Re:Disturbing (0)

834r9394557r011 (878286) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042686)

Wah, wah. boohoo. oh ponies....

Re:Disturbing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042722)

Awwww buttercup, I'm sorry things aren't exactly how you would have them at all times. Hopefully in the future everyone will bend to your will alone...

It's one day and many of us do find humour in these stories.

M$ uses Firefox (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042717)

MS Coding4Fun - Randomly Opening CD Tray [microsoft.com]

Notice the screenshot?

Re:M$ uses Firefox (1)

qzulla (600807) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042790)

With OS X I can do this in a shell with:

drutil tray open
drutil tray close

A few random timing loops and you are good to go.

Came in handy once when I was remoted in and ejected a CD. I didn't want to go to the other building and hassle someone to open the door just to push the tray in.

qz

Re:M$ uses Firefox (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043808)

What are you talking about? What screenshot? All I see are a couple of clips of the task bar and there's no Mozilla there.

Re:M$ uses Firefox (1)

oddfox (685475) | more than 8 years ago | (#15047811)

That's no task bar. You see the first screenshot? Where they're talking about the Google Web Accelerator [google.com] ? That's Firefox right there, the throbber is unmistakable and I personally use that Accelerator myself in XP, so the GP is correct in his assertion as that's exactly how my browser looks.

Talk about a minute detail to spot though, heh.

This will only be temporary (0, Offtopic)

Paulo's News (964647) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042731)

The Register reports that Bush will invoke his wartime powers to stay in office for a third term.

Saddle up boys, we're goin' to Shanghai!


Register story is linked at site below:

Re:This will only be temporary (1)

Lehk228 (705449) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043647)

the register is in on the april 1 antics

Radio sawt beirut (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042741)

Very good site. www.sawtbeirut.com radio sawt beirut

Cheap Storage for G-Drive (1)

slashmaddy (964291) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042764)

I'm glad that this move would help google get some cheap storage space for faster implementation of G-Drive. Can't wait for it anymore.

Do you idiots find these jokes funny? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15042928)

This April's Fool parade is so predictable it elicits yawns rather than chuckles.

.ch? Not .cn? (1)

ConstantineM (965345) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042954)

These lads from the Register don't know that China has .cn as its top level domain. Their screenshot lists the top-level domain for Switzerland instead. :)

Re: Politics: China Buys Google (1)

Ricken (797341) | more than 8 years ago | (#15042980)

I first thought the topic said "Politics: Google Buys China"

Re: Politics: China Buys Google (1)

EstupidoPopulista (965785) | more than 8 years ago | (#15052187)

Me too !! LOL

Search results? (1)

bk4u (682315) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043045)

Does this mean our search results will be filtered?

APRIL FOOLS! (0, Offtopic)

Eideteker (641508) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043264)

APRIL FOOLS!

/. is so f*ing lame (1)

partingshot (156813) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043771)

1999 called - it wants it's april fool's hoaxes back.

Should have been (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044807)

"Google buys China"
in order to provoke a bit more reaction. Maybe we'll save it for next year's April fools...

More Likely: "Google Buys China!" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15045303)

Which has
  • greater organization,
  • a single coherent plan,
  • centralized cash reserves and the control to disburse it?

    "Google!" would be my answer. We could easily live without China, but not without Google.

And so it begins... (0, Offtopic)

Mesinjah (927427) | more than 8 years ago | (#15045907)

Does anyone else see what is going on here? Corporate America is selling us down the river for a few fast bucks. The Carlyle Group is mainly responsible for these types of transactions. Stupid humans wake up and punish the rich! http://www.thecarlylegroup.com/eng/index.html [thecarlylegroup.com]
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