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RIAA Approved mp3 Player Reviewed

Zonk posted more than 8 years ago | from the not-cool-not-pink dept.

73

buckminster writes "Medialoper has an exclusive review of the soon-to-be legendary Prism DuroSport 6000. According to the review, 'if the RIAA had had designed an industry approved digital media player this is what it would look like'. The player has an extraordinary collection of features including 'disposable flash memory' and built-in DRM system with 'opt-in listening'."

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Pink is for Pussy (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043070)

April

1st

Post!

first post (0, Offtopic)

Tongo (644233) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043071)

FIRSTUS POSTUS

Did I get it, did i?

OMG Ponies!!!

Re:first post (0, Offtopic)

Tongo (644233) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043083)

Awwww I failed it. :o(

Re:first post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043085)

Congratulations, you got it!

Haha just joking, APRIL FOOLS! LOLOLOLOL.

ZONK IS GAY +5 INFORMATIVE (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043072)

And that ain't no April fools joke.

OMG!!! PONIES!!! (2, Funny)

RLiegh (247921) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043074)

Well, sure (2, Funny)

SparksMcGee (812424) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043077)

But does it play .ogg?

Re:Well, sure (1)

NIK282000 (737852) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043093)

Yes

Re:Well, sure (1)

Technician (215283) | more than 8 years ago | (#15048161)

Yes

One cavot, since that format is not a DRM format, you will be presented with opt-in-listening. You will need to confirm you want to listen to the possibly pirated music for each song. You can avoid this by converting your files to the DRM format native to the player.

As an added bonus, the player software will not repeat your popular songs too often. See the site for details on this feature.

Re:Well, sure (1)

Disperz (818430) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043142)

rta "Multi-format support including mp3, ogg vorbis, dt6, and iTunes Music Store (w/compatibility kit, purchased separately)"

Re:Well, sure (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044546)

And the compatibility kit consists of... one iPod?

Re:Well, sure (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043295)

Safari has 4 paws!

Well... (4, Insightful)

Donniedarkness (895066) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043079)

Does it come in Linux?

Does it run Pink?

Re:Well... (1)

bepe86 (945139) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043094)

More importantly, does it run Mac OS X?

Re:Well... (1)

RLiegh (247921) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043100)


Does it come in Linux?

Linux? Huh? What's detergent [answers.com] got to do with mp3s?

Does it run Pink?

Why yes, it does [wikipedia.org]

Re:Well... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044631)

Talk about a funny guy.

Re:Well... (1)

ajwitte (849122) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043105)

Does it run Pink?

Yes. This means it's especially good for playing music by Gershwin and Copland.

Re:Well... (1)

lolocaust (871165) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043243)

Bring back the pink. It's actually easier on the eyes than this horrible scheme.

Finally! (4, Funny)

dteichman2 (841599) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043089)

A true iPod killer! If the sales don't work, I'm sure it could simply crush them.

All it needs is... (1)

Mixel (723232) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043434)

All it needs is Angelina Jolie lips [dilbert.com] and everyone will love it [dilbert.com] !

I LOVE PONIES, +5 INTERESTING (2, Insightful)

Raelus (859126) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043091)

Like OMG, can I listen to N*Sync on it?

Twice the price, twice the DRM! (2, Funny)

Coopjust (872796) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043098)

The RIAA approved players will make your listening experience safer and better.

Now, your player will connect to a world wide marketing database to automatically determine if your player has pirated music! Any song you spent less than $2 or converted is likely to have pirated, so your player will delete the music for you!

You'll need to rebuy the song every year to support your artists continually. And your songs will only play on this player with the same set of batteries-if anything changes, your license has expired and you'll need to buy more music, that you can only listen to during off-peak hours. Peak hours, 7:00am to 7:00pm, will cost twice as much in order to support the "artists".

DRM-making your life better (TM)! Buy this so the RIAA can get another Benz...I mean, support the artists.

Re:Twice the price, twice the DRM! (1)

snorlax123 (965621) | more than 8 years ago | (#15047966)

Each time I connect earphones or my cassette recorder to my Prism DuroSport player, I get an "Internet connection not available" trouble tone that over powers the music. To make matters worse, when I do connect my Prism DuroSport to my router so I can use either my cassette recorder or my earphones, the doorbell rings and those content investigators seem to have mistakenly knocked on my door (again). I wish those cable pirates would get a life. I those pirates would just pay for their cable, maybe we could just all get along.

You got me.... (1)

1053r (903458) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043103)

At first sight, I thought this was the first legit article to be posted on april fools day, but my fears were quickly dispelled by http://www.prismdurosport.com/products/ [prismdurosport.com] . You're getting more believable, but still no cigar. Please, let's have april 1 stories that are not obviously hoaxes!

Re:You got me.... (1)

cartel (845256) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043383)

Slashdot should have 1 or 2 articles that are real on April 1.

Re:You got me.... (1)

eMartin (210973) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043404)

Why don't you just turn off your computer for the day and go outside?

If any of these aren't hoaxes, they will still be here tomorrow.

American sucks! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043104)

Stop April 1st jokes
Stop pink. It's hurting my eyes
Stop bombing and killing people around the world
Stop idiocity and hipocrecy

Re:American sucks! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043115)

also, stop thinking the bible isn't fictional.

Gotta feed the trolls/ponies/ (0, Offtopic)

42Penguins (861511) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043159)

If that's not a joke, let me be the first to point out the irony in the last line:

"Stop idiocity and hipocrecy"
idiocity? hipocrecy?

You're being an idiot with your spelling, and being a hypocrite by being an idiot. GG.

OMG The Office! (1)

Makenai (223604) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043110)

OMG - it's a reference to the US version of the Office. Isn't it? The name sounds familiar, but I'm too lazy to check. Can anyone back me up on this?

Re:OMG The Office! (3, Informative)

christopherfinke (608750) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043598)

it's a reference to the US version of the Office. Isn't it?
Yes, it is. In the episode "The Injury" (Season 2, episode 12), Dwight shows Pam how durable her Prism DuroSport is by telling her to chuck it across the room: "It's like an iPod, only better, cause it's chunkier and more solid."

The RIAA aprovved is... (3, Insightful)

michelcultivo (524114) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043114)

one MP3 player that is unable to play mp3 :)

Re:The RIAA aprovved is... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043538)

I believe that Sony marketed their ATRAC players as "mp3 players" for several year even though you had to convert mp3 to ATRAC in order to load the files on the device.

Re:The RIAA aprovved is... (1)

mikek3332002 (912228) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043776)

In otherwords a block of wood?

lolz (4, Funny)

akhomerun (893103) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043148)

best line ever

well...more than one line...but anyway...

DuroSports new battery powered battery charger allows you to charge your DuroSport battery just about anywhere. With this amazing new device youll always have enough power to listen to your favorite music.

Please note that the battery powered battery charger has no power adapter and must be charged by another battery powered battery charger. Because of this the minimum purchase is two (2) units/i.

EVERYTHING IS APRIL FOOLS' TODAY (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043150)

You cannot even come here because CmdrTaco want to bullshit us all with his april fool's day jokes.

Maybe he should post node puctures of himself if he wants to get popular.

I would love to see him naked. It looks like he's got nice butt.

YAAFJ (1)

jnadke (907188) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043161)

April Fools!

The webserver for that link is really a bunch of wires connected to a potato.

Or a pile of molten slag.

Hi, I am (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043167)

A completely offtopic post waiting its 5 lovely upmods!

MOD PARENT UP!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043235)

Banana ham sandwich. Excelsior umbrage fresco. I am not a chicken.

Ipso facto, post hoc, propter hoc.

Watch as... (1)

m50d (797211) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043168)

the humour dies. Satire dies when the RIAA gets involved.

Gardening (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043169)

Epilation, Taro would all be more interesting than the current crap articles. It would make for a funnier, happier, more productive April Fools

like an al-qaida approved jetliner (5, Funny)

Simonetta (207550) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043179)

Buying an RIAA-approved MP3 player is like flying on an Al-Qaida approved jetliner. It's guaranteed to have unwanted consequences and side effects that are the exact opposite of the experience that you are paying for. Basically you're giving extra money to extortionists in advance in order to be assured by the extortionists that the bad things that they do to people for money won't happen to you. But these organizations exist not to extort money, but to do nasty things to people. So by using equipment 'approved' by them only ensures that the bad things that these people do are going to happening to you.
    An Al-Qaida airliner can be expected to blow up in mid-flight, because that's what they do. They aren't in it for the money or to sell 'Allah-approved' transportation, they do what they do in order to murder as many people as possible. An RIAA-approved MP3 player can be fully expected to stop playing your music randomly until you plug it into a phone line and automaticilly transfer more funds from your bank account to the RIAA's 'copyright and artist's protection' account. It's a guaranteed hassle from a band of assholes. It's hard to imagine any intelligent person buying it. It's like setting up an automatic bank transfer to extortionists and then being shocked and amazed that they are demanding more money each month.
    Al-Qaida is a criminal organization obsessed with the murder of randomly selected individuals. The RIAA is a criminal organization that gets its money by using vast legal resources to extort money from randomly selected individuals. You can't fight criminal organizations or defend yourself from them by giving them the money that they demand. They just get stronger and meaner. You have to band together with others who are being extorted to defend each other and as a group refuse to pay the extortionists and then defend yourself against the violence (either physical or legal) that they bring against your group.
    That's the only defense against the RIAA or the mafia. With Al-Qaida the only defense to be willing and able to kill everyone who aids and supports them, regardless of how cruel that these actions will make you appear to the world or history. It is their religious fanatisism that has put them into a mindset to where they can't be reasoned with or bought off like normal criminals. And they use the common people to hide them, like Mao's fish guerrillas in a sea of peasants. So to fight them, we are forced to kill everyone in the lands where they excape. They force us to be insanely cruel in order to defend ourselves. It is like Golda Meir's observation that the worst thing that the Palestinian terrorists do is force us to kill their children. But since they live to be martyrs anyway, we have no choice but to deliver this onto them.

  Anyway, don't buy any 'RIAA approved' MP3 players. They're just a box of DRM hell.

Re:like an al-qaida approved jetliner (0, Troll)

Cal Paterson (881180) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043209)

You, sir, are a fool.

Re:like an al-qaida approved jetliner (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043803)

Yeah, seriously, that was some of the dumbest shit I've ever wasted time reading.

Re:like an al-qaida approved jetliner (1)

The Master Control P (655590) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043390)

Buying an RIAA-approved MP3 player is like flying on an Al-Qaida approved jetliner.

I think I just found a new sig.

You forgot... (0, Troll)

TheNoxx (412624) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043181)

The controls can only be operated by a bodily orifice (yes, like the southpark thing, only not as well endowed.)

First post! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043182)

First post!

I suspect this will be modded down, but only by folks who don't get it. To the rest of you, happy april.

w00t! (1)

Siffy (929793) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043454)

54th post! I win!

nyud.net (1)

islanduniverse (925110) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043189)

The webpage has died already =/ Must be the RIAA trying to make it look popular They'll never win!!! http://www.prismdurosport.com.nyud.net:8090/produc ts/ [nyud.net]

Re:nyud.net (1)

islanduniverse (925110) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043227)

Damn... Should have put line-breaks in...

But the player looks awesome =/

If I buy it... (1)

zpeterz63 (851922) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043194)

do they require my soul as well as my money?

Will submitting to Slashdot become illegal? (1)

Halcyonandon (699642) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043195)

It seems like a pretty common way of orchestrating DDoS attack on remote hosts! I'm turning in everyone who submits a story!

I am impressed (1)

Eradicator2k3 (670371) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043199)

Finally...an article posted on /. that remains firmly grounded in reality (on an April Fool's day, no less). The digg fanboys have at last met their match; /.'s new format matches digg's as far as depth and discussions go.

And for the record: OMGZ, this site is like so AWWWWEEESSOOOOMMMMEEEEE!!!

^_^ Also: I think I've exceeded my "sweetness" threshold for purposes of karma-whoring. You can find me in detox.

APRIL FOOLS! (-1, Redundant)

Eideteker (641508) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043214)

APRIL FOOLS!

they want me to run an application (1)

qzulla (600807) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043217)

medialoper wants to run code on my 'puter.

application/x-httpd-fastphp

I'll pass.

qz

Re:they want me to run an application (1)

slavemowgli (585321) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043249)

It's not an application. It's a plain old HTML "500 Internal Server Error" page sent by the server with a braindead content type, that's all.

Re:they want me to run an application (1)

qzulla (600807) | more than 8 years ago | (#15047192)

Thanks.

Then why don't they just say so?

qz

Re:they want me to run an application (1)

slavemowgli (585321) | more than 8 years ago | (#15047234)

Don't ask me, but I'd say that it's a web server goof-up...

Re:they want me to run an application (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044210)

you suck at the Internet..

this is a good example.. (1)

carlosGames (943841) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043241)

this is a good example for what you should never do :| the device looks worst than my old am/fm tunner and it was in stereo 10yrs ago. they must living an utopia thinking they technology rules because it uses nuclear power and the metalic design shines (not to mention all the bloat ware it installs).. ho yes and I almost forget the fact it doesnt uses the "illusory" stereo mode :)

Here's one (1)

mik (10986) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043242)

Legal music players [kazoos.com] - works with any format file (yes, including OGG), even live performances!. Listen to the audio once, and then you can replay it any number of times on any of these devices! Legally!! Of course, it uses lossy compression, but with repeated "listenings" of the original source, it'll get better.

My Dream has come true (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043271)

They finally see the light!

Say what? (1)

Jugalator (259273) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043376)

An RIAA approved mp3 player?? Haha, this was the funniest April Fool's joke!

panties in a twister (0, Offtopic)

m0u5y (939846) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043393)

I can use it to balance my table...

RIAA mp3 thing (1)

thripper (965380) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043524)

That is plain UGLY !

Where's the pad lock (1)

Midnight Thunder (17205) | more than 8 years ago | (#15043682)

Where's the padlock? I mean you aren't really meant to be listening to the music you buy, well not until your ears have DRM attached to them. :)

RIAA approved DRM (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15043772)

[after finishing song]
...this player will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

The RIAA will never approve the DuroSport 6000! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044338)

Not with those external speakers.

That would enable unauthorized public performances, resulting in unlicensed users getting a free ride. Then there's the real potential for piracy should someone have a tape recorder nearby.

The RIAA are working on a similar model with permanantly attached earbuds. In a partnership with Vanderbilt University, DNA sequencing is being developed so that each licensee will receive a user-specific genetic implant that will decode the music they have purchased for their personal enjoyment.

Beta testers are currently needed for the latest build of [b]Random Oscillication Output Tools Kinetic Internet Technology.[/b] or R.O.O.T.K.I.T. for short. Earlier versions of R.O.O.T.K.I.T. encountered some technical difficulties, though most of the research participants are out of the ICU at this time. Those bugs have been located and resolved.

A patched version appears to have fewer than 0.02% incidents of serious anatomical deformation in test subjects, so we're quite confident we have that issue resolved. However, a minor programming glitch prevented the decoding algorithm from terminating when the earbuds were removed. Consequently, only audio sources encoded for the each user can be understood by them. The RIAA has generously halved the licensing fees to their immediate families to faciliate communication with their Phase 2 participant kin.

We are assured that all these issues have been addressed and that the R.O.O.T.K.I.T. implants are now 100% safe and effective. Volunteers are now needed for a phase 3 trial. Please [url=mailto:rootkitstudy@riaa.org]contact us[/url] if you are interested in participating. Benefits of this study include a prototype portable audio player, free R.O.O.T.K.I.T. implant (A $69.95 Value!) and a 10% discount at the RIAA music store!

backlash has started (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15044519)

The backlash has already started at Prism DuroSport Sucks [prismdurosportsucks.com] . Is nothing sacred?!

In the Accessories section on its product page... (1)

Admodieus (918728) | more than 8 years ago | (#15045357)

is an advertisement for the wireless adapter:

"Now you can connect your Prism Durosport to your home network with our new wireless adapter. Please note that the due to power requirements the Prism DuroSport must be plugged into the wall adapter when connected to the wireless adapter."

This is the work of a genius.

DuroSport's inflammatory response to Medialoper (1)

merc (115854) | more than 8 years ago | (#15046515)

This company sounds like it's being run by a bunch of pre-pubescent teenage kids.

From their website:

DuroSport Urges Customers To Ignore Medialoper Review

We regret to inform our loyal customers that the highly anticipated review of the new Prism 6000 which appears in Medialoper today is full of inaccuracies and misleading information. We urge you to ignore the review and spend the day listening to your Prism DuroSport.

The DuroSport support staff has worked diligently over the past several months to assist the Medialoper review team in understanding the advanced features of the Prism DuroSport 6000. Unfortunately, it is clear from the review that the staffers of the Medialoper Review Labs must have some sort of learning disability. If ever there was an instance of user error, this is it. Over and over again. If anything, the fact that these retards had so much trouble with the Prism DuroSport stands as proof as to just how far ahead of it's time it really is.

If all of this weren't bad enough, the Medialoper team has attempted to return their Prism DuroSport 6000 without first completing an RMA form.

Needless to say, we are consulting our legal advisors and will be taking appropriate action shortly in order to best respond to this scurrilous and defamatory attack on our flagship product.


www.prismdurosport.com/news/durosport-urges-custom ers-to-ignore-medialoper-review.html

Missing button? (1)

noidentity (188756) | more than 8 years ago | (#15046629)

That's odd, you'd think the RIAA would have noticed that it was missing the play button before approving it...
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