Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Wisdom From The Last Ninja

Zonk posted more than 8 years ago | from the real-ultimate-power dept.

Japan 539

I Could Tell You But... writes "The AP has a story about ninjutsu master Masaaki Hatsumi, last living student of Japan's last 'fighting ninja.' He offers advice from the heart of Ninjadom, like 'always be able to kill your students,' and describes the current popular ninja image as 'pathetic.' At age 76, students are speculating on his successor, who may for the first time be non-Japanese." From the article: "As I cautiously raise the sword with a taut two-handed samurai grip, my sparring partner gingerly points to Hatsumi. I avert my eyes for a split second - and WHAM! The next thing I know, I'm staring at the rafters. Keeping your focus is just one of the lessons thumped out on the mats of the Bujinkan Dojo, a cramped school outside Tokyo that is a pilgrimage site for 100,000 worldwide followers. They revere Hatsumi as the last living master of ninjutsu - the mysterious Japanese art of war practiced by black-masked assassins of yesteryear."

cancel ×

539 comments

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

anonymous coward ftw! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224821)

me first!

Like, wow (2, Funny)

Life700MB (930032) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224824)


Ninjas kill all the time! And don't even think about it!


--
Superb hosting [tinyurl.com] 20GB Storage, 1_TB_ bandwidth, ssh, $7.95

Re:Like, wow (1, Informative)

CRCulver (715279) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225039)

Just in case someone doesn't get it, the OP is a reference to Robert Hamburger's Real Ultimate Power [amazon.com] meme.

Turtle Power. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224825)

"They revere Hatsumi as the last living master of ninjutsu - the mysterious Japanese art of war practiced by black-masked assassins of yesteryear.""

Oh man, the TMNT's are going to be so disappointed.

Ninja skillz (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224827)

get the FP

Re:Ninja skillz (2, Funny)

RockWolf (806901) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224948)

Apparently, you lack ninja skills.

wow, ninjas (5, Funny)

joe 155 (937621) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224829)

"always be able to kill you students" is brilliant advice... I know I'll be taking that one to heart when I'm lecturing... that'll show them for being late/taking phone calls/ talking over me. :)

Re:wow, ninjas (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225020)

It's only good advice if your students actually believe you can kill them.

Re:wow, ninjas (3, Funny)

dakirw (831754) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225109)

It's only good advice if your students actually believe you can kill them.

Not if you provide an object lesson! :)

Students? (5, Funny)

daeg (828071) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224830)

Sure, he can beat his students, but what about pirates?

Re:Students? (2, Funny)

larry bagina (561269) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224886)

you know, it turns out that pirates were extremely smelly and extrememly homosexual. This should be obvious if you think it over -- hundred of men confined to a small space. Anyhow, when you consider that, "piracy" is the right word for slashdotters downloading warez.

Re:Students? (1)

gnud (934243) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225019)

Try going to a black metal concert, and yell that they must all be extremely smelly and extremely homosexual, since they are confined to such a small space :)

Re:Students? (1)

IAstudent (919232) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224962)

Robot-Pirate-Ninja

No exceptions

Re:Students? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225000)

Fact: Ninjas Hate Pirates [randomshirts.com]

I hate weekends on ./ (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224831)

It becomes the Zonk show. Stupid 'stories', anything he can find about Australia, nothing of interest to anybody who isn't Zonk. Adios.

Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (0, Flamebait)

Sir Humphrey Appleby (971633) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224833)

Every time some asian (or navtive american) says something whisy washy, a sizable group of people think it's wisdom. Look at the quotes in the article, it's meaningless blabber.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (5, Insightful)

ObsessiveMathsFreak (773371) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224874)

Look at the quotes in the article, it's meaningless blabber.

He who does not listen, does not hear.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (0, Troll)

daeg (828071) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224883)

You must be a Native American or an Asian.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1)

ObsessiveMathsFreak (773371) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224972)

Ethnic Wiseass, actually.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224989)

He who does not listen, does not hear.

Really? no shit?

Proverbs (0, Offtopic)

umbrellasd (876984) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225028)

He who spouts proverbs knows what others know but does not himself know.

*furrows his brow and glances left and right suspiciously*

Damnit!

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1)

gold23 (44621) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225043)

Sorry, what did you say?

Can't...resist...replying... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225046)

My wife is Japanese, so I've visited that country many times. It's an okay place, so long as you have business there perhaps. But the people aren't secretly all Shogun, Samurai or Ninja, as many still seem to believe, and they aren't all fonts of wisdom either. In fact, some are even quite stupid! Gasp!

And guys like this dine-out on their reps, yet I seldom see any attempts to verify their claims. Slashdot geeks love to bash IDers, for instance, while chanting "just the facts, man!"...yet they also blindly accept on faith something which sounds too cool to be untrue (or they'd love to be true), such as "He fought and won 12 battles to the death", and the like.

Even most Japanese take such claims with a huge grain of salt, and a lot of sake.

I'm proud of you, Slashdot (1, Insightful)

Weaselmancer (533834) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225125)

This was modded Insightful, and not Funny.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1, Funny)

NeuroKoan (12458) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224878)

Well, assuming you are white, it is obvious that your words are motivated by greed or destroying the environment.

That's true.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224885)

Everybody knows it, and always has. But we also know we're not allowed to say it, and there are those who would like to be able to prevent us from even thinking it. So prepare to be modded -1 Troll and Flamebait.

We all know that's inevitable too.

Re:That's true.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224905)

Agreed

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (-1, Troll)

s16le (963839) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224892)

Ching chang! Ching chang ching chong. Chi ching chi cheng tsing tao? Tzhen ting tsang tsing ching tang tong!

Wu wei tsao te ting tang ching... CHING CHING CHANG CHING CHING CHONG CHING CHONG! kekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1)

Dance_Dance_Karnov (793804) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224895)

Ah, you seek meaning. Then listen to the music, not the song.

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1)

hotspotbloc (767418) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224907)

Not just limited to any one group:
"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical." - Yogi Berra

Re:Know what Really Pisses Me Off? (1)

Matt Perry (793115) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225034)

Look at the quotes in the article, it's meaningless blabber.
I thought the article was cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet [realultimatepower.net] .

The Pirates will be pleased.... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224843)

Their numbers continue to rise (according to the *AA anyway)...

the successor is obvious (1)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224844)

Joe Armstrong! [imdb.com]

Re:the successor is obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224938)

Fool! his sucessor is and must be Chuck Norris!

be in fantasy :) (-1, Offtopic)

Janek Kozicki (722688) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224846)

Drizzt [wikipedia.org] ;)

Haru, you are truly the Great White Ninja. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224849)

Did I say ninja? I meant ninny. Haru, you are such a ninny.

Really... (0, Redundant)

Spytap (143526) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224850)

I know a pirate that could totally kick his ass...

I wonder if he teaches . . . (4, Funny)

PeeAitchPee (712652) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224851)

. . . about Real Ultimate Power [realultimatepower.net] ?

It's sad... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224852)

That the country of origin of such arts no longer has any interest in them. Why would kids play tennis instead of learning to beat the snot out of each other?

Mandatory reference to all things Ninja (1, Redundant)

PsychoSlashDot (207849) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224853)

http://www.realultimatepower.net/ [realultimatepower.net]

Just go and read. Or someone will flip out.

Re:Mandatory reference to all things Ninja (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225075)

One of my fellow speech team members recently did what's called a Humorous Intepretation of this book. It was great. He editted content down to around nine minutes and then threw in all sorts of actions and transistions. It was pretty hilarious watching this kid flip-out about ninjas doing spin-kicks and various other chopping actions, claiming that he "loved ninjas with all of his body."

I must say the greatest part was where he says something to the exent of, "The world began with the ninja and will end with the ninja with arms and legs scattered in the streets, and the ninjas will be like, 'we told you guys,' and Jesus will be like, 'you probably should have listened.'"

I suppose it's better in person.

any questions? (4, Interesting)

LiquidMind (150126) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224854)

if you're ever curious about anything relating to ninjas and you want a straight, no bs answer, you can always ask a ninja [askaninja.com] .

So THIS is how you are going to compete with Digg? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224855)

Can we please keep this a tech site.

Re:So THIS is how you are going to compete with Di (1, Insightful)

s16le (963839) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224916)

You know, maybe you belong on digg... with all the other idiots who end questions with periods.

News for anime fags, inane koans that matter (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224859)

Yeah, I'll be sure to stay prepared to kill my students. Fat programmers with aspergers can never be too careful.

mirror (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224861)

NODA, Japan - The teachings of Grand Master Masaaki Hatsumi echo through my head as he entreats me to attack a blackbelted disciple with a practice sword. "Always be able to kill your students," he says.

Chilling words from a shockingly fit 76-year-old man who bills himself as the world's last ninja and stocks his training chamber with weapons such as throwing stars and nunchucks. Especially to a neophyte whose closest brush with martial arts was watching Bruce Lee matinees as a kid.

As I cautiously raise the sword with a taut two-handed samurai grip, my sparring partner gingerly points to Hatsumi. I avert my eyes for a split second - and WHAM! The next thing I know, I'm staring at the rafters.

Keeping your focus is just one of the lessons thumped out on the mats of the Bujinkan Dojo, a cramped school outside Tokyo that is a pilgrimage site for 100,000 worldwide followers. They revere Hatsumi as the last living master of ninjutsu - the mysterious Japanese art of war practiced by black-masked assassins of yesteryear.

"He's unlimited in body, mind and spirit," says Richard VanDonk, who flew in from California to practice body throws in the dojo's warm glow of rice-paper screens and flickering votive candles. "He's a master of change."

Hatsumi is the only living student of the last "fighting ninja," Toshitsugu Takamatsu, the so-called 33rd Grand Master who was a bodyguard to officials in Japanese-occupied Manchuria before World War II and fought - and won - 12 fights to the death. Legend says that during one battle, Takamatsu snatched an eyeball from a would-be Chinese bandit.

Today, Hatsumi's enemies are stereotypes and flagging interest in the ancient art. He seeks to leave the task to a worthy successor as speculation mounts about his retirement.

In many ways, the curly-haired, wide-eyed Hatsumi has been a victim of success: He has helped make ninja an international household name by training followers from Chile to South Africa. But he also has watched his legacy co-opted by goofy caricatures such as "Mutant Ninja Turtles" and schlocky Hollywood send-ups like "Beverly Hills Ninja."

"I think it's pathetic," Hatsumi says of the ninja's modern image.

A glance around the dojo suggests the average Japanese might agree. The vast majority of students are foreigners, often with a military background, who learned of Hatsumi overseas. That's because in Japan, ninjutsu is swept up in the wave of apathy that has sapped the ranks of traditional martial arts like sumo and judo.

Most Japanese are exposed to martial arts in school. But the number practicing judo has been declining since the 1980s as more people turn to Western sports like golf and tennis. Sumo also has fallen on hard times, forcing the Japan Sumo Association to import stars.

"Young kids might be more interested in other sports that are flashy or fashionable," concedes Makinori Matsuo, an associate professor of martial arts at Tokyo's International Budo University.

"They tend to be turned off by the image of martial arts as sweaty and smelly," he said.

Ninja is a compound word from the Japanese characters for "stealth" or "endurance" and "person," a reference to their traditional role as spies, mercenaries and assassins working for medieval warlords.

Traditional weaponry such as swords and throwing stars feature prominently is Hatsumi's lessons, as do handclaws for climbing walls, blow darts and chili pepper dust to throw in an opponent's eyes.

But true ninjutsu, Hatsumi says, is self-discipline and balance in the boardroom and the battlefield. It's about mastering one's weaknesses, including laziness and fear, and exploiting a rival's needs, such as sex and pride.

As he nimbly glides across the padded floor, Hatsumi showers students with cryptic proverbs straight out of Confucian scrolls, such as "anything can be used as a weapon" or "ninjutsu is the sum of things in the universe."

"Timing is the most difficult," he adds, while casually deflecting a gleaming metal sword swung at his neck by a veteran student. After the turning the blade on the attacker, Hatsumi gives his arm a slight twist, eliciting a baleful yelp.

Halfway through the lesson, Hatsumi takes a break to pen traditional brush paintings for students who hustle to his side with paper. Then things get serious again with the meting out of "ninja tests."

Going for his fifth-level ranking is Phil White of England, who kneels on the floor with his eyes closed. Behind him stands Hatsumi, clutching a padded wooden sword that he plans to bring down on White's head.

If White - with his eyes still closed - manages to dodge the sword, he passes; if not, he takes home some bumps.

Twice the staff cracks on White's head before he slumps out of the way on his third try - enough to satisfy the master.

"I'm still shaking," White says afterward, while being barraged by congratulatory slaps on the back. "I didn't feel like I was moving. You feel like you're being blown by the wind."

Today, hundreds of ninja schools across Europe, North America and beyond trace their roots to Hatsumi.

He has held training seminars for the FBI, CIA, the Mossad and for police in Britain, France and Germany. He has served as a martial arts adviser to films such as the James Bond thriller "You Only Live Twice" and the television miniseries "Shogun."

Hatsumi has left his mark in other ways, authoring a dozen books in English and Japanese.

He says he is not ready to sheath his sword anytime soon, but admits the question of who will succeed him as ninjutsu's world leader is a constant topic of gossip at the dojo. Only Hatsumi gets to choose the next grand master, and he's not giving any hints.

It's even possible it will be a non-Japanese for the first time, he says.

"Human beings always want to know what they cannot know," he says. "But you can never tell the future."

Mod down- article text alteration troll. (-1, Troll)

s16le (963839) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224944)

wtf mods, do you even read the pasted articles before spending points?

A glance around the dojo suggests the average Jappy McJappity might agree. The vast majority of students are foreigners, often with a military background, who learned of homosexuality overseas. That's because in Japan, ninjutsu is swept up in the wave of sodomy that has sapped the ranks of traditional homosexual acts like sumo and judo.

Cute. Now please grow the fuck up.

Re:Mod down- article text alteration troll. (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224993)

Anyone can do a quick Find on the page to show that you're the only one talking about "sodomy", which means you're just a stupid troll yourself. Go back to Digg please.

Re:mirror (3, Interesting)

Trouvist (958280) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225021)

Did anyone else see the occasional italicized letter in that? I'm a lazy bastard or else I would go find them all and whip out my own smithy code decrypting skillz.

Re:mirror (1)

larry bagina (561269) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225086)

The code is:

drinkmoreovaltine

italicized letters (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225091)

Whipping out a quick Ruby script reveals:


Gnaa
gnaa
gnaa
gnaa
gnaa
gnaa


*sigh*

Re:mirror (1)

All_Star25 (736597) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225095)

They just spell "GNAA" six times. That's all.

Ninja is replaced by Sniper (0, Troll)

layer3switch (783864) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224863)

I never understood the facination of ninja. I mean, it's just an art of assassination. Give me a long range rifle and cut the smoke screen, old man.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224881)

Sniper Rifles aren't much good in close quarters combat..

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (2, Funny)

layer3switch (783864) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224915)

Sniper Rifles aren't much good in close quarters combat..

Would you like to find out? Meet me at the railroad near Queens Blvd. and 74th Street intersection where street light shines down on you and make sure you wear red coat with green hat.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224931)

OK, you're right. Sniper rifles aren't very good in close combat unless your opponent is agreeable to the propostion of meeting you under a street light by the railroad near Queens Blvd. and 74th Street intersection, wearing a red coat with a green hat.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (1)

plasmacutter (901737) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224968)

that's why you carry a shotgun on your other shoulder

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225005)

So the Ninja can take it off your body and sell it for Saki?

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (1)

woot account (886113) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225027)

So the Ninja can take it off your body and sell it for Saki?

Wow. Shotguns must be very expensive in Japan if the ninja is going to buy a small peninsula with the money from it.

(definition of "saki": (n) small peninsula from WWWJDIC)

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224996)

Yes, you can kill Just like a Ninja. Assuming your victim stands in a well lighted area, wearing a spicific outfit. well done.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (4, Funny)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224949)

Anyone can kill with a gun. % year old, to 100 year old . Plus the farther the range the more detationed from the kill.

It takes a real man to drive a sword into somebody.

By man, I mean psycho.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (4, Interesting)

EraseEraseMe (167638) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224950)

Ninja is actually the art of bullshit. Seriously, the stories surrounding 'ninja' were part of the edge the ninja had. Talk up a good story, and no one will mess with you. Misdirection and cheap shots under the auspices of "quickest kill" led to its current incarnation.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (5, Insightful)

SquadBoy (167263) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225108)

Yes?

And your point is?

You *do* understand that those are all good things, right?

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (2, Interesting)

Too many errors, bai (815931) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224963)

It's not always possible to have a clear shot. In such cases, a hidden knife to the throat can just be the solution.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (1)

Sigma 7 (266129) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224971)

I never understood the facination of ninja. I mean, it's just an art of assassination. Give me a long range rifle and cut the smoke screen, old man.


Ninjitsu is the art of stealthly killing people. Sniping is merely carrying and firing a long range rifle.

These are two different skill sets. While any monkey can use a firearm, it will not protect you against a trained assassin that observes your movements and launches a suprise attack.

BTW, smoke screens are known anti-sniper tactics. Sniper rifles that are capable of looking through smoke screens are not considered common, and is considered military grade (i.e. not available to commoners).

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (4, Funny)

layer3switch (783864) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225009)

While any monkey can use a firearm, it will not protect you against a trained assassin that observes your movements and launches a suprise attack.

Getting shot without knowing where the fuck it came from sounds pretty surprising to me...

smoke screens are known anti-sniper tactics.

So is an umbrella... Hence the birth of Smart Bomb.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (4, Insightful)

MagicDude (727944) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225060)

If killing is your only goal, then yes, a sniper rifle is just as good, and requires less training. However, suppose your goal is to kill the target, and then take his briefcase full of secrets. Shooting him from 500 yards will just cause attention to swarm around the target and you'll never get those missle silo sites. There's where you need a ninja to sneak in, dispatch with the bodyguard, slit the target's throat, slice off his hand above the wrist to get rid of the handcuff connecting the target to the breifcase, and then disapear into the night.

Re:Ninja is replaced by Sniper (5, Interesting)

CHESTER COPPERPOT (864371) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225083)

"it's just an art of assassination."

It's actually the art of stealth and endurance. Nin can mean concealment, sneaking in or endurance. While jutsu is technique. While much of Ninjitsu will be covered by crazy myth of ninjas leaping from trees etc. the essence of the concept still stands: It's a highly specialized form of danger avoidance in warfare for evading the enemy. Basically Ninjas are form of individual Maneuver warfare [wikipedia.org] .

The concept itself is thought to have come from the Chinese assassins in the warring states period - the Moshuh Nanren. It's also said that the concept is also based on Sun Tzu's chapter on spies. Where spies also being translated as "gap men" (k'ai ho) or those that sneak through the enemies gaps (avoiding strengths like in maneuver warfare).

The most interesting aspects of this Asian thought is the cultural influence it has had on Asian warfighting. If you read some of the history of Japanese tactical patrolling in World War 2 you'll find some pretty deceptive patrolling techniques that were based off Ninjitsu training. A military author called H. John Poole has written about this. It's thought that the concept of stealth, assassination and danger avoidance travelled along the silk route to places like Vietnam and Indonesia. In the Vietnam war the VietCong used to train in similar ninja-like techniques in stealth walking, sensory enhancement and so on.

The best modern example is in the Indonesian military where they have a subset of the special forces (KOPASSUS) called Gadapaksi. They are also known as the "ninjas" as they specialize in night time assassinations and abductions. If you read any of the literature on the East Timorese or even the West Papuans the Gadapaksi are mentioned as terrorizing the local populace.

I've always thought that the whole base concept of the Ninja is brilliant. Pretty useful across a whole domain of study. Could be used from warfighting to black hat hacking.

This is news for nerds? Stuff that matters? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224864)

HUH?

Re:This is news for nerds? Stuff that matters? (3, Funny)

RootsLINUX (854452) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224986)

Exactly what I was thinking. While I think ninja's are totally awesome like every other mammal on the planet, I think we all agree that not all nerds are also mammals.....

Oh, god damn it. I just had a terrible vision of RMS in skin-tight ninja gear carrying out an assasination mission in Redmond. I think my only option is to commit seppuku at this point.

Re:This is news for nerds? Stuff that matters? (0)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225054)

seppuku? Talk about your open Sores!

Thanks you! I'll be here forever!

Perhaps you should ask... A NINJA (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224870)

When I was a young boy, I awoke every morning to the delicious smell of pancakes. My mother, and father's dojo contained within it a hot griddle perfect for making pancakes, waffles, and a multitude of other pancake-like breakfast pastries. I remember them well -- The pleasant, care-free days of my childhood in the dojo were often spent peering into the kitchen with eager anticipation as my mother prepared pancakes my family.

As I grew older, and began my journey to spiritual enlightenment, the memories of my pancake-eating youth filled my heart and dreams with warm, fluffy goodness....Ahhh, yes..the sweet, sweet memories... The day I ate 10 pancakes... The day I placed a warm pancake between my fleshy loins and performed the forbidden dance... The day pressed a pancake to my buttocks and encouraged my dog to come eat.. Indeed, much of my childhood was spent in pure innocence -- An innocence only pancakes can provide. It was heaven. A heaven, filled with pancakes, where I sat at the throne of God, with my hand-maidens Aunt Jemimah and Mrs. Butterworth seated beside me. An indestructible triumvirate made of flour, eggs, sugar, milk, water, and love.

By the age of 15, the path of my life became unclear and confusing. Torn between my duty my village and my love for pancakes, I foolishly left home in search of karaguchi ah-nowakadesu .. the ultimate pancake. My journey took me to the many islands of my homeland, many days away from my dojo. My hunger for pancakes became my teacher, and foolishly I let it control the path that I walked upon. My feet, sore from travel, ached as my heart and stomach did, until I came to a realization. My duty was clear. I needed to take a stand and accept my love for the art of the ninja AND my love for pancakes. It was not wrong for me to love both. I love one as a dear friend, and one as a lover. Yes--My mission was clear--I must become a ninja, a secret assassin hired by the imperial family BUT I MUST ALSO ENJOY THE OCCASIONAL PANCAKE.

My adoration for breakfast cakes has placed me within an awkward position. Many ninja refuse to recognize me as their brother. I defend my father's land, but I am looked upon as weak and undisciplined. I tell them, "But, brothers! Listen to my plea! The pancakes do not weaken me, nor do they make me disobey the rule of my sword. They fill me with love." But alas, they do not understand...For the mind of a ninja is complex.

My only earthly desire is to be accepted for who I am. Yes, I am a NINJA--But I also enjoy pancakes. Will you accept me? If you were approached by a ninja who requested a pancake, would you submit to his will?

Inigo Montoya (1)

tengu1sd (797240) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224913)

Inigo Montoya studied Ninja sword skills, but failed to take in the whole package. That's why he lost on the Cliffs of Insanity to a more driven opponent.

Re:Inigo Montoya (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224934)

If you read the book, you would know why he lost.

I like my Rolelay Character Breakdown of that fight.
IM, a character with a detailed background, spent lots of points in skills, and a great goal.

TMIB: Spent all his point in Stats.

Feel the power! (2, Funny)

minitual (966089) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224925)

"At age 76, students are speculating on his successor, who may for the first time be non-Japanese..."
Chuck Norris anyone?

I know who his successor will be: (0, Troll)

JPriest (547211) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224939)

I have heard rumor that the Prom Ninja [google.com] is going to be Masaaki Hatsumi's successor.

You know.. (0)

shidarin'ou (762483) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224941)

That not only is the public perception of ninjas pathetic, but the twisted distortion of what "real" ninjas are now.

You think you can debate if Kamakazi pilots or Ghost Dog is a samurai?

These modern day "ninjas" have little in common with their ancestors. Shit, ninjas aren't even seperate from Samurai, a ninja is just a job for a samurai.

*grumble*

*drink*

of course, there's almost zero books written about ninjas in english that is based in fact. You'll find some decent books in Japanese, and some decent prime sources if you can rid classic japanese- but other than that you're SOL at learning anything about Ninjas- and not from some washed out old man who can barely remember lessons taught to him when he was young.

First off smart guy (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224964)

The plural for Ninja is Ninja.

The Ninja started as a bunch of rebellious peasants thet refined there art. But to nothing like we presented in the media.

Re:You know.. (1)

EraseEraseMe (167638) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225055)

"a ninja is just a job for a samurai"

Um, what?

The samurai class was far and above the simple ninja. In fact, they looked down on the ninja's lack of honor, class standing and inability to stand and fight.

You might want to drink more.

Predicting a thread full of "Experts" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224955)

who think they know what they're talking about, but are actually sedentary nerds who barely understand linux.

Oh I don't need to predict. It's the same way everyday.

What a load of crap (0, Troll)

SuperBanana (662181) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224965)

From Wikipedia:

The underlying connotation of shinobi (, pronounced nin in Sino-Japanese compounds) is "to do quietly" or "to do so as not to be perceived by others" and--by extension--"to forebear," hence its association with stealth and invisibility.

Huh. So...this guy is basking in the limelight. Wow, really staying true to the values there.

Slow news day? I know I tagged this one "stupid".

hrm.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224966)

what about Shô Kosugi?

It is obvious to the most simple minded fool that (4, Funny)

geekoid (135745) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224974)

Chuck Norris will be chosen as successor.

Pirates? (1)

Attrition_cp (888039) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224976)

How many pirates has he killed in his lifetime I wonder?

And how many degrees did the global temperature rise?

Ninja - bah. (0, Offtopic)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224979)

Give me GPS guided munitions!

Sheesh. This is slashdot.

Re:Ninja - bah. (1)

tktk (540564) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225068)

Give me GPS guided munitions!

Sheesh. This is slashdot.

Since this is Slashdot, it should be GPS guided missle with a ninja payload.

Why?

Because you can.

Aight, (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15224982)

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

Bah. The real ninja tests are not in the article (2, Funny)

SensitiveMale (155605) | more than 8 years ago | (#15224983)

1. Ninjas' are mammels.
2. Ninja's fight all the time.
3. The purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill people

Quick quiz... (2, Funny)

chill (34294) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225004)

What "...preserves the honor of the Bujinkan members, it indicates you are part of a larger whole--one whose members come together with warrior hearts to better themselves through training and friendship. It evinces the glory of warrior virtue, and embodies both loyalty and brotherly love." ?

Why, the required membership card, of course! Don't leave dojo without it!

http://www.bujinkan.com/guidelines.htm [bujinkan.com] (#6)

  -Charles

WoW (1)

JustinKSU (517405) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225018)

How can there NOT be any World of Warcraft references posted? Need roll FTW!

Disgruntled Ninja Silently Kills 12 Co-Workers (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225035)

total classic [theonion.com]

be able to kill your students (1)

atarione (601740) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225038)

fair enough /makes mental note

checks holster snap to ensure colt45 auto is secure.

Purple prose (3, Interesting)

nEoN nOoDlE (27594) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225063)

"Timing is the most difficult," he adds, while casually deflecting a gleaming metal sword swung at his neck by a veteran student. After the turning the blade on the attacker, Hatsumi gives his arm a slight twist, eliciting a baleful yelp.

I really despise prose like this in newspaper articles. I find it hard to believe that that is an exact account of what happened, so it just destroys the article's credibility and makes it seem like the writer is just trying to write a third rate action novel.

To the death (5, Funny)

Mashei (895143) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225070)

Hatsumi is the only living student of the last "fighting ninja," Toshitsugu Takamatsu, the so-called 33rd Grand Master who was a bodyguard to officials in Japanese-occupied Manchuria before World War II and fought - and won - 12 fights to the death.

...Rumors of Takamatsu's death still abound to this day, but scholars estimate it occurred sometime after, but before the end of, his thirteenth fight to the death.

Some insight (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15225073)

I have studied under Hatsumi, years ago. Before a lot of the current 'purpose built' combatives were created for military and govt. use, he and his instructors would train select U.S. govt. and military personnel.

Someone mentioned that "ninjitsu is the art of assassination". An inaccurate statement.

Ninpo Taijitsu (a very rough translation would be ninja combat), as taught under the Bujinkan, consists of several different schools. Stealth, sword combat, locking/holding/throwing, striking, etc. are some examples of the different schools, each with their own head instructor.

There is a famous story from the '50s (?, maybe '60s) where the Japanese National Judo Champion (at the time he was also the world champion) essentially 'called out' Hatsumi and ninpo taijitsu as a 'fraud'. Said champion was invited to face off with Hatsumi. Hatsumi proved he was no fraud, and shortly thereafter the Judo champion became one of the senior instructors at the 'judo' school of the Bujinkan.

Hatsumi is the real deal. I've seen him run along the top of chain link fences. At one seminar, a 250+ lb. Marine spoke up and said "Ok I know you're good, but really...in combat - what are you going to do to me?". Hatsumi sqared off with the Marine, and had him on the ground and incapacitated very rapidly. No ego, no bravado - just a teacher who understands that you must be able to demonstrate that what you teach will work for real.

Hatsumis instructor, Takamatsu, was (for lack of a better term) a real life 'ninja'. He was an agent/assassin/etc. for hire that worked for various warlords in the late 1800s.

Do some searches on Hatsumi and Takamatsu - I believe you guys will find some very interesting reading.

Sadly, when Hatsumi leaves us the Bujinkan will probably never be seen again in its current form, with one true Master overseeing all of the various schools that comprise Ninpo Taijitsu. It will truly be the end of an era.

Regards,

Former (novice) student of the Bujinkan

The Real Deal (-1, Troll)

Bananas (156733) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225097)

Did any of you bother to do any research on the people or topic at hand?

No.

A shame.

Or, possibly, it's a good thing that people don't understand what is going on.

Bill Gates (0, Troll)

zymano (581466) | more than 8 years ago | (#15225105)

Is taking Ninja training.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>