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Spam King to Sing For Feds?

Zonk posted more than 8 years ago | from the chirp-chirp dept.


Vainglorious Coward writes "Infoworld is repeating the rumours that Alan 'spam king' Ralsky has been arrested by the Feds. With the file sealed for 72 hours, the article claims the underworld is abuzz with concern that, faced with enough evidence to put him in jail, Ralsky will squeal on his associates. We should know in the next couple of days whether any of the roaches scurrying for cover are going to get stomped."

cancel ×


Damn him to hell (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230510)

In response to Mr. Alan Ralsky's equivocations, I would like to offer the following opposing points. To begin with, the tone of Mr. Ralsky's philippics is eerily reminiscent of that of unrealistic pop psychologists of the late 1940s, in the sense that mercantalism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge. We have not only a right but also a responsibility to restore the world back to its original balance. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does Mr. Ralsky contend that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that he does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, Mr. Ralsky discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. Imagine people everywhere embracing his claim that children should belong to the state. The idea defies the imagination.

Isn't it odd that the worst classes of nasty, fastidious perjurers there are, whose hate-filled, huffy lifestyle will transform our whole society to suit Mr. Ralsky's own obtrusive, mingy interests eventually, are immune from censure? Why is that? After days of agonized pondering and reflection, I finally came to the conclusion that from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Mr. Ralsky's followers have always found a way to malign and traduce me. Mr. Ralsky does not want to turn our country into a devious cesspool overrun with scum, disease, and crime because he is fatuitous, illiberal, possession-obsessed, and unregenerate (though, granted, Mr. Ralsky is all of the aforementioned), but rather because if I were to compile a list of Mr. Ralsky's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that Mr. Ralsky's squibs can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that Mr. Ralsky's whinges are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I free people from the spell of adversarialism that Mr. Ralsky has cast over them, his invariant response is to kill the goose bearing the golden egg. Mr. Ralsky's unimaginative, myopic quips replace our natural soul with an artificial one. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to give you some background information about him. What I take much more seriously than disdainful hackers are mean-spirited peddlers of snake-oil remedies, but what makes matters completely intolerable is knowing that when I say that many obdurate beguilers are taken in by Mr. Ralsky's attestation that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his disorganized prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. This is a common fallacy held by lazy, garrulous ruffians.

In Mr. Ralsky's histrionics, mandarinism is witting and unremitting, power-drunk and distasteful. He revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it. Mr. Ralsky sees no reason why he shouldn't ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that I, speaking as someone who is not a snappish, voyeurism-prone publisher of hate literature, cannot too often emphasize the simple fact that it is sad to see Mr. Ralsky render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to give him a rhadamanthine warning not to usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times. He has -- not once, but several times -- been able to suppress people's instinct and intellect without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his sleazy press releases are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. I think I've dished it out to Mr. Alan Ralsky as best as I can in this letter. I hope you now understand why I say that Mr. Ralsky would love to see college campuses morph into small, ivy-covered North Koreas in which the student or faculty member who dares to deal summarily with scornful freaks quickly finds himself in a heap of legal trouble.

Re:Damn him to hell (3, Funny)

Phantombrain (964010) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230521)

Very good! Now that you've learned copy/paste and replacement, lets move on to something called "relavancy"

Re:Damn him to hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230535)

Very good! Now that you've learned copy/paste and replacement, lets move on to something called "relavancy"

perhaps you need to master the spell checker first

Re:Damn him to hell (1)

Ian Action (836876) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230777)

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding Mr. Anonymous Coward. I would like to start by discussing Mr. Coward's tactics, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that Mr. Coward keeps saying that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, he has convinced a lot of people that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. His modes of thought may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that he claims to be supportive of my plan to push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. Don't trust him, though; he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll lay the foundation for some serious mischief. Not only that, but Mr. Coward may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself. If anything will free us from the shackles of his beer-guzzling endeavors, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that as a concerned citizen, I will forge ahead in my brave quest to unmask Mr. Coward's true face and intentions in regard to animalism. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that he is not just sophomoric. He is unbelievably, astronomically sophomoric.

Mr. Coward has warned us that eventually, simple-minded lunatics will destroy our culture, our institutions, and our way of life. If you think about it, you'll realize that Mr. Coward's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that Mr. Coward is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand, while the other hand is busy trying to withhold information and disseminate half truths and whole lies. Whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may fight for our freedom of speech and, as the alternative, the fork-tongued and exploitative dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Mr. Coward. Choose carefully, because the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Mr. Coward's cock-and-bull stories. It applies to everything he says and does. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that what he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly crass activity. Aside from the fact that from the very beginning, mindless carpetbaggers have labored to recruit into their ranks the sons and daughters of the powerful, famous, and rich, Mr. Coward commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Mr. Coward to turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard. In summary, it is my prayer that people everywhere will join me in my quest to work beyond the predatory plasticity of Mr. Anonymous Coward's prognoses.

finally... (5, Interesting)

Beuno (740018) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230517)

Finally they stopped chasing petty warez and went after people who actually profit and annoy the hell out of everyone else...

Re:finally... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230539)

Stupid question, but how do spammers actually profit? I mean, don't you actually have to click on a link, and/or purchase Vi@agra or Ru$$ian Prono to generate revenue for them? Do people ACTUALLY do this?

Re:finally... (1)

lokiomega (596833) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230544)

Unfortunately, the answer is resoundingly...yes.

Re:finally... (4, Insightful)

XXIstCenturyBoy (617054) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230560)

Yes. The old and the elderly, the easily convincable, the influencable people. They do not prey on the slashdot tech crowd (although sometime ones wonder), but on people who don't know better. They've been told that one can have good deals online, that you can find anything on there.

And you have to remember that there is not only porn and penis enlargement offer sent, but low mortgage loan offer, the chance to find a lost friend, travels or even online casinos deals. Poker is a big thing right now, and interests rates very low, its tempting for a lot of people.

Re:finally... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230609)

I always figured it was sort of a Scam The Scammers type of thing, where the spammers sucker poor fools caught up in some sort of stupid pyramid scheme, or maybe are running the scheme themselves.

Re:finally... (1)

Tim C (15259) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230993)

You think they send all those emails for free, out of the goodness of their hearts? You think the lists of "confirmed working" emails are free?

Re:finally... (0, Redundant)

Reverend528 (585549) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230555)

Yes, because the government exists for the sole purpose of prosecuting those who annoy us.

Re:finally... (5, Funny)

ScepticOne (576266) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230696)

So when is it going to prosecute itself?

Re:finally... (1)

UniverseIsADoughnut (170909) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230706)

Well, it's off to a good start by working it's way through the republican party.

Re:finally... (3, Funny)

jcr (53032) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230923)

That's not quite half the job..


In a way... (1)

hackwrench (573697) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230766)

Death is, after all, the ultimate annoyance, followed by theft.

Re:finally... (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230774)

Well, there HAS to be a reason why there's a law against harrasment.

Re:finally... (1)

pallmall1 (882819) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230692)

So, (hopefully) they finally got the UniSpammer. I wish the feds had been doing more of this instead of investigating Google's search strings, or aiding the persecution of little girls and dead people for suspected copyright violations. He'll get less of a sentence than someone who wants to play an iTunes song on a Creative player.

Biometrics stop SPAM. SPAM is a fake controversey (-1, Offtopic)

NRAdude (166969) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230728)

I hope you read that title, became angry, and want to be in the know... The United States allows controversy to dominate the News, so they have an opportunity to commit other more violent actions or silence important grievances newsworthy of the RE-public at the States. I posted a Story to Slashdot, and it was REJECTED with certain prejudice. If only we could assert this to pretended unsolicited electronic mail, even though we realy can do this. I'll post my Story I submit to Slashdot, at the end of my de jure comment:

Mail that is sent to a post office, post station, or a mail box can be Returned to Sender for "no such name/wrong name". This is the case for eMail sent to an account that does not ackowledge a prior Trust with the origin of that message of the eMail. The problem with eMail is not the fact that the electronic Mail has a strong separation of Client and Server in the trusted transfer to the local Client (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol) through the trusted delivery (Post Office Protocol or POP3), but the fact that the verry movement of mail can't be retro-marked at the server to not ACCEPT the mail without the Client. In other words, the verry electronic Mail system is built upon Trust that the mail server always is in Acceptance of every peice of Mail on behalf of the account holder. In standard Administrative court procedure, all mail matter is as much a contract or claim; there needs to be a electronic Mail procedure to recognize that acceptance of the Mail surely does not constitute an Agreement with the mail.

Now to get to the point: when an electronic Mail account does not exist, the message is acknowledged by the receiving Trusted Server along the subject matter of "Not Accepted" or "No Such Account/Not Deliverable" or "Account Full/Not Deliverable." I find this is the true and correct response to all Mail (electronic or letters patent) for the response to an Offer (Commercial) to Negotiate a service (contract) or Commercial Speach (ADVERTISEMENT, ALL-UPPER-CASE-NONSENSE GRAMMAR for saile). If there was a parallel protocol to negotiate the disclosure and cause a Mail account to be receptive to mail directed to it and having no association or appointment or assignment, then that is where these things stand to allow an Owner to direct an Mail Client to give preference to the Server (think postmaster's utility) to not give admittance and correspondance to the Mail Client's Trusted account reservoir on a Server.

The preference on the Server could be a simple "Not Deliverable" if a server flag hasn't confirmed "By Prior Appointment" with a secure cryption in GPG or PGP key, or "Ignore all Mail" with preference to a private list accessed in real-time to the Client's addressbook or an Online Addressbook in relation to an Career or Job-related Addressbook on a specialty or general website (think of Yahoo Auctions, eBay auctions, and independent and particular venues corresponding to private matter or club). In other words, SPAM is a problem with a Trusted Server accepting Mail from a transient client having its non-automated process manipulated by the piracy of an automated agent of an unidentified tresspasser.

NOW follows is the Story submitted and REJECTED by SLASHDOT.ORG, of Unisys Corp (the same that wreaked havoc with its anti-Unix patents of Unix) pushing Biometrics at the 15th World Congress on Information Technology at Austin, TX.

World Congress on IT @Texas, Unisys for Biometrics

The Philadelphia Inquirer [] presses within the new week (first week of the fifth Month of 2006), that there will be a 15th World Congress on Information Technology [] to convene at the town of Austin, conversing among the Republic of Texas. Among the pre-tendered exhibits is one specific scruteny of the agents of that Unisys Corp. According to The Philidelphia Inquirer article, [] , there concluded and will be referenced a Unisys survey to prove "a majority of people it surveyed worldwide supported such computer-aided ID methods." The justifications for Biometrics surely is to prevent the misplace of trust by people negotiating and disclosing intently to their trusted companions or associates among their various ministries and business. Satisfaction to trust could be impossible to fathom, given the known efforts of criminals to use every method of ill-will to conive their movement among the people granted into those trusted security positions. Supposing that Unisys survey is true, by choice of applicants to them, it is quoted "70 percent of

  • respondents
favored biometrics technologies
  • administered by a bank, hospital or government agency
as a way to verify someone's identity." Further in the the articles is it posing to conclude that Survey is, "Eight[y]-two percent of those supporters cited the convenience of not having to remember a password or other log-in data, Unisys said."

Now to my comprehehension (not that I subserviently stand-under someone or somebody else's understanding), many people comprehend the purpose of said security, and would rather go about their business in an indepent mode that carries their trust to their own will and common assemblies frequented; everyone knows that there are criminals all around us that haven't been caught (there is that adage to the greatest criminals having never been caught); yet if one of these security systems (Biometrics, etc) is ever composed by criminals, then that trust would surely be coerced to linger for the completion of whatever intent there would need to keep the registered security in effect. A criminal can't be trusted to any honest/lawful protest by his captor, but what of the distraught prisoner to the untrusted administration of mock-security conferred by the criminal?

Re:finally... (1)

tsa (15680) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230937)

I must say I get much less spam since they picked up some big spammers. Getting those people in jail helps a lot. Anyone else have this experience?

Re:finally... (1)

Basehart (633304) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230998)

I'm noticing less variety for sure.

Instead of 700 emails trying to sell 600 different items, I now get 400 emails trying to sell me 30 different items.

Petty Warez? (1)

Animaether (411575) | more than 8 years ago | (#15231018)

Petty Warez, you say?

If you think there's no money in bootlegged musics, movies, software (games and business software), then you need to think again. Sure, there may not be much if you're distributing over P2P (some money going to sites hosting trackers for torrents or authors of the P2P software in question instead) - but if you do it through high-rate FTP sites or even further down to actual CD/DVD sales... there is decent money to be made. Depending on the scale and geography of your operation, either a nice sports car, or enough money to not work for a few years.

Now if you meant to say those who are indeed downloading off of P2P networks, or those passing out a CD to their classsmate for free... yeah, agreed, time better spent on the big fishes. That said, both are illegal, so both should be addressed.

( And yes, I know not all downloads are copyright protected, and yes I know that many of those that are, are instead governed by licenses such as the GPL. The context here is audio/video/software that the recipients would not be legally entitled to have. )

Mob Justice (5, Funny)

amoeba47 (882560) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230520)

I vote for mob justice. Throw him into a locked room filled with the pissed off masses fed up with too much ludicrous junk mail.

Re:Mob Justice (1)

Phantombrain (964010) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230534)

You mean a man-made Solar Eclipse? Awesome!

Re:Mob Justice (1)

9mm Censor (705379) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230571)

Naw. Put him in a room filled with robots armed with Ak-47s and DEalge's, which are remote controled via a hacked together fiberoptic cables into a linux box system manned with some geekey slashdotters, who are geniuenly pissed about spam.

Re:Mob Justice (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230655)

ak-47? deagle? for fucks sake get out of the basement and stop playing counter strike.

Re:Mob Justice (1)

Ninjaesque One (902204) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230767)

If you're going to suggest old and mostly-defunct(except for militant terrorist organizations, yadda yadda yadda) weapons, I'm going to suggest hanging, drawing and quartering.

Re:Mob Justice (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230918)

Naah, too painless. I'd say wheel [] him.

Re:Mob Justice (1)

bhiestand (157373) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230982)

The AK-47 is still the most widely used rifle in the world. Many militaries use it, as well as police and terrorist organizations. It's an extremely rugged, reliable weapon with good accuracy. In many ways I prefer it to the M16. That being said, I think it's in the nation's best interest to publicly shame, humiliate, and torture these [spamming] bastards.

Re:Mob Justice (1)

Kagura (843695) | more than 8 years ago | (#15231011)

Perhaps you're confusing the AK-47 [] with the AK-74 [] ? They are hardly the same. :)

Re:Mob Justice (1)

Widowwolf (779548) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230989)

Whoa! The ak-47 is old and defunct. I don't think so. They are still one of the best rifles to date as far as Military uses. Over 50 armies of the world still use this weapon in there arsenal. This thing is basically useable after putting it in sand, swamp or dropping it from far heights. They also take standard ammo. .Why do you think terrorist organizations love them, and even US soldiers will pick them up over an m-16 or M4. I think you may have your weapons mixed up. Not only all that but they can use 75 round drum magazines. I mean look at these specs Caliber 7.62x39 mm Action: Gas operated, rotating bolt with 2 lugs Overall length: 870 mm Barrel length: 415 mm Weight, with empty magazine: AK 4.3 kg; AKM 3.14 kg Magazine capacity 30 rounds (40 rounds box magazines and 75 rounds drums from RPK also may be used) Cyclic rate of fire 600 rounds per minute Maximum effective range: about 400 meters As compared to the M4 and M4A1 Caliber: 5.56mm NATO Action: Gas operated, rotating bolt Overall length: 838 mm (stock extended); 757 mm (stock fully collapsed) Barrel length: 370 mm Weight: 2.52 kg without magazine; 3.0 kg with magazine loaded with 30 rounds Rate of fire: 700 - 950 rounds per minute Maximum effective range: 360 meters Rarely do you have to clean, repair or do anything to this rifle to get it to fire accurately. I am sorry but I would trust my life with an AK over a M4 any day!

let's test some of this stuff on him (3, Funny)

r00t (33219) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230587)

We can start with the MAKE PENIS FAST [] chain letter, just for fun.

He won't mind. There is a distinct possibility of failure, but if things go rotten he can always take a few penis pills.

(one wonders... if vitamin pills contain vitamins and garlic pills contain garlic, what might penis pills contain?)

Re:let's test some of this stuff on him (1)

keith134 (935880) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230618)

Better yet, let's test those pills out on his cellmate, Bubba :D

With chinese medicine, it pays not to be curious (1)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230964)

Very straightforward people those chinese. Something got a big dick. Eat it.

Funny in a way because IF there would be any logic to the idea that you absorb the essence of what you eat, then all the predators would be prey.

The mighty wolf would be a bit of a deer. The great white a bit of a surfer dude. The anteater a tiny insect.

But I guess when your chinese you are pretty desperate for anything that might give you a bigger penis.

Lucky as a true nerd I am above that. Doesn't much matter for jerking off what size it is ^_^

Re:Mob Justice (2, Funny)

Cheapy (809643) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230716)

Or they could throw him into a cell with Bruno, you got quite a few 'member enlargement' packages that "REALLY WORKED!"

Bruno could show him just how well they worked... ;)

Do what they do on TV (was:Mob Justice) (1)

Lead Butthead (321013) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230723)

Turn him loose on the streets. Rumor will be abuzz that he cut a deal with the Feds, and someone is bound to put a contract on his head, compelling him to turn state evidence.

Something better (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230793)

1) Give him only one email address

2) publish that email on slashdot.

Bless that Spam King. Love works no ill will. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230833)

Seriously people. Bless that Spam King.

When you have found an inexpensive way to earn(?) money at the careless expense to the frugal nature (commercial fishermen, or a broken system of poorly trusted/crippled-Client peers awaiting for Server mail delivery and transfer) why issue over cruel and unusual punnishment that is disproportionate to the act? Most tools/firearms have a lock, yet on the front of the slave market there is a poorly updated protocol for moving mail mixed to fellowship of letters-patent and then that tresspass of COMMERCIAL SPEACH.

Look at the evidence: the 'Spam King' is equally as captivated and crushed by the same poor economy that his accusers contribute unto. Everyone has a judgment for him, the same meritless warrant derived from the bottomless pit of opinions that self-sacrifice any benefit to the world. People like 'Spam King' exist in no other economical condition but that of our suppressed one. Don't any of you think that if there was a free market, that there wouldn't be a 'Spam King' simply because a superior Mail protocol would have Competed to its proper standing?

Historically, anyone in commerce is an abomination among the people moving Post for fellowship and prior agreement. Somewhere, the Commercial Code has been skewed to ignore a truth that all Commercial Speach (ADVERTISEMENT) is a presentment for Contract or Trust; that Commerce has now been tresspassed into the same affinity among the patroons and patrons at the general post-office.

He's someone else's liar. An idolater doing someone else's will. Think about that, because he's just a scapegoat. If anyone has ever sent hate-mail, then they're no better than that alleged "Spam King." Meanwhile, the truth is moving about to prove that Spam King has created more jobs than Microsoft could block his mail. The job of "Spam King" deserves a Darwin Award for its inevitability, but deserves a Silver Plaque for proving that he is the one that will cause Mail post and delivery to become more secure and efficient.

Somewhere, Benjamin Franklin (postmaster general) rolled a little slower in his grave, but resumed the next second when a WAR-TIME-ONLY jurisdiction (the United States) is trying a Civilian in their limited-time Military Tribunal. /**** **** Awakes
A: Hot dog, how long was I out?
B: were hit by a Drive-by Disagreement
A: I was just standing there, I felt a bump, and then awoke from a Nightmare where I had to forgive my mortal Enemy!
A: Save your thoughts, and hide the Stuff. Our Warden is conducting searches today and starts on our Block this time. We don't want any disapproval in our attendance record.

I smell the style of NRAdude (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230900)

This gibberish post has many similarities with the posting style (sic) of NRAdude [] . Shouldn't her care-worker have her tucked up in bed by this time on a Saturday night?

Re:Mob Justice (1)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 8 years ago | (#15231046)

"I vote for mob justice. Throw him into a locked room filled with the pissed off masses fed up with too much ludicrous junk mail."

Those who have purchased viagara and penis enlargment pills may go to the front of the line.

I'm sure.. (5, Funny)

schmiddy (599730) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230530)

the underworld is abuzz with concern that, faced with enough evidence to put him in jail, Ralsky will squeal on his associates

I'm sure Mr. Ralsky's associates have nothing to fear. An upstanding, honest businessman such as himself would never rat on his friends.

It’s spelt “gaol”. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230776)

G-A-O-L, you stupid Yanks. Gaol.

Only if you Brit-spellers prosecute him too... (1)

billstewart (78916) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230906)

He won't be in "gaol" unless you Brits (or Aussies, or whoever) go extradite him and prosecute him too. Not that I have any problem with that, after we're done with him.

But actually, it's only "jail" for now - if we're lucky it'll be followed by "prison".

Re:Only if you Brit-spellers prosecute him too... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15231001)

its just the Australians it looks like.

Jail would be correct spelling in any other english speaking country.

Singing (4, Funny)

AuMatar (183847) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230532)

Thats singing contralto, right? I mean, we are going to punish that slime in an appropriate manner.

Re:Singing (1)

Vainglorious Coward (267452) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230594)

Thats singing contralto, right?

Indeed, I submitted this article with the headline "Spam King to Sing Like a Canary"

no, castrato (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230958)

I think that more appropriate.

Prison too good for him! (5, Funny)

ArcherB (796902) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230537)

Can we send this guy to Guantanamo? How about Abu Ghraib? How about if we glue a put a yamaka on his head and drop him off in downtown Tehran.

Re:Prison too good for him! (1, Offtopic)

Geoffreyerffoeg (729040) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230639)


The term you are looking for is "Yarmulke". Unfortunately, it is pronounced exactly like "Yamaka".

--This message brought to you from the Committee to Pronounce "Goethe" as "Gertha", and paid for by the Office of the Irish Taoiseach (pronounced, of course, "Teeshock").

Re:Prison too good for him! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230796)

It's a hard 't' in "Goethe", btw.

Re:Prison too good for him! (1)

number11 (129686) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230854)

The term you are looking for is "Yarmulke". Unfortunately, it is pronounced exactly like "Yamaka".

Seeing as the word is Yiddish, which is written with the Hebrew alphabet, there isn't really any definitive spelling in the Roman alphabet. Same is true with Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, and a lot of other languages. Phonetic is as good as it's going to get, absent any official body that rules on spellings. The Chinese are trying to do that, which is why what used to be "Peking" is now "Beijing", though the Chinese name hasn't changed.

It's true that "yarmulke" is the most conventional English spelling.

Re:Prison too good for him! (5, Informative)

stinerman (812158) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230707)

Any true Muslim wouldn't mind at all since Jews (and Christians) are People of the Book []

Re:Prison too good for him! (2, Informative)

cptgrudge (177113) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230726)

In the very link [] you provide, this is listed:

Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold forbidden that which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued. 9:29

O you who believe! Do not take the Jews and the Christians for friends/protecters; they are friends/protecters of each other; and whoever amongst you takes them for a friend/protecter, then surely he is one of them; surely Allah does not guide the unjust people. 5:51

What exactly is your point by linking to it? I thank you for the link, though, it was very interesting.

Re:Prison too good for him! (2, Informative)

Elemenope (905108) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230743)

His point, I imagine, is that under Sharia the Jews, for example, have legal protections that heathens do not, including importantly having the protection of the law. There is in fact a very small community of Jews that lives in Iran, and in their parliament (analogue) there are a small number of seats set aside for them. You are right when you say (and quote) that just because they have legal protection and status, they do not necessarily have respect; I would only say that that is an entirely different issue, as important as it may be.

Re:Prison too good for him! (1)

Psykosys (667390) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230872)

And from just above that:
And do not dispute with the followers of the Book except by what is best, except those of them who act unjustly, and say: We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and to Him do we submit.
A religious text is self-contradictory, what a surprise.

Looking at the historical record you will see, however, that the above passage, as opposed to the intolerant ones, was the one which was generally adhered to. "Pagans" (often Hindus, thus the quotes) and polytheists have not always been treated so nicely (by Muslims or Christians).

Re:Prison too good for him! (1)

postmortem (906676) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230791)

He could work as human spam filter in prison. If he has good memory, he would remember his own "work", and recognize it faster than anti-spam software.

Hand him over to the GNAA. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230824)

seriously, I am not affiliated with the GNAA, but, I say duct tape him to a pole (a chair would be too nice) and force him to watch gayniggers from outerspace in new remastered hi-def at least 80,000 times, then expose him to GNAA IRC spam and other things not meant for the human mind.

in the end he'll be a quivering, insane mass of a man.

also, depriving him of food and water at vriable intrevals is bound to have an effect as well.

Fed want Information (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230541)

Since google shut them down, the feds want his logs of valid emails and porn site addresses. Just because a person doesn't visit sites doesn't mean they don't see porn. Anything for the kids.

Let the punishment fit the crime, no plea bargains (2, Funny)

rts008 (812749) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230545)

Before a slow and painful execution, he should have his anal sphincter jerked up around his adam's apple, his scrotum tied (in a proper square knot) behind his ears, then beat with a baseball bat until dead. ;)

Re:Let the punishment fit the crime, no plea barga (4, Funny)

SpottedKuh (855161) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230562)

...he should have his anal sphincter jerked up around his adam's apple, his scrotum tied (in a proper square knot) behind his ears...

I think I got some spam for a site like this just a few days ago...

Re:Let the punishment fit the crime, no plea barga (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230566)

The slow and painful execution might be tough after he's been beaten until dead with a baseball bat. If you can figure out how though, sweet!

Re:Let the punishment fit the crime, no plea barga (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230932)

"Hangin's too good for 'im. Burnin's too good for 'im. He should be torn into little bisty pieces and buried alive!"
--Hanover Fiste, Heavy Metal

Re:Let the punishment fit the crime, no plea barga (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230589)

No no--that might be cruel. Give him a form to fill out to opt-out of this punishment. (By form, I mean a giant stack to them. And one pencil.)

Gifts for his cell mate. (3, Funny) (142825) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230652)

No. Leave him in jail for a while. Lets send some penis enlargment pills, spemmax, and instant cialis tabs to his cell mate.

See if his cell mate lets him opt-out.

How can you say that! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15231063)

The man deserves a fair trial and the right to defend himself.

And then we throw him in a vulcano to appease our gods.

But (5, Insightful)

kratei (924454) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230558)

Great news. But, will this stop or even slow down spam? No. Even if they got half the spammers out there it would keep coming. Why? Too much easy money out there for the taking. Even if they got evey one who operates in the US we would still have a problem overseas . . . and I really doubt that any administration - yes even this one - would invade say Nigeria simply to cut down on spam. Anyway, how are we going to stop chineese spammers? Invade China? Ask their govenment to cut out illegal buisness practices? Yeah right. One spam king may fall, but another will rise in his place.

Re:But (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230952)

Of course it won't stop spam but that doesn't mean we should let the criminals get away with it.

Let's be generous.... (5, Funny)

Fantasio (800086) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230574)

With this kind of news, I'm in a good mood !

If Ralsky deserves only one second of jail for each minute infuriated users have lost deleting his crap, this could ammount to thousands of years of jail.

I'll be generous and I'll accept that his time in jail be divided by ten if he tells the Feds everything he knows !

Cheers !

Of flying objects and domiciles (2, Interesting)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230578)

Those who live in toilet paper houses should not fling poo else they find themselves being used to wipe the backside of someone bigger and meaner.

I have no idea how this statement applies; it just seems appropriate.

Rumor control... (4, Informative)

Eggplant62 (120514) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230582)

Take this whole thing with a grain of salt. There has been no reputable source that has provided this information; it's simply a rumor. Steve Linford has posted on [] that he knows nothing about Ralsky being taken into custody, and other reliable sources in the antispam forces known to me have no further information to corroborate this story.

Still, it's good news if it turns out to be true. I guess if we don't hear anything by Tuesday or Wednesday, given enough time for the rumored 72 hour seal on Ralsky's indictment to expire, we'll know whether this is bullshit or not.

Re:Rumor control... (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230593)

Yes, but what does Stiffy Linefeed say?

Re:Rumor control... (3, Insightful)

Vainglorious Coward (267452) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230663)

Absolutely, it's still all nothing more than a single swirling rumour based on the valleywag IM, and the tantalising [] yet plausible [] contributions from some unknown poster on nanae [] .

But we all so want it to be true...

Re:Rumor control... (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230751)

The alias "MemeHacker" just screams literate troll, doesn't it? :) Meme = infectious ideas, Hacker = hacker.

(Or he broke into my test page to generate the name. [] )

Re:Rumor control... (1)

etzel (861288) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230732)

"it's simply a rumor"

That makes me feel much better. God forbid the FED's find out about my brand new enlarged penis...

Seriously: dust to dust, ashes to ashes, scum to scum.

Re:Rumor control... (2, Funny)

Eggplant62 (120514) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230782)

Further info from a spammer board posting indicates that Al is still free and *NOT* in custody. My source remains anonymous until I can further confirm it.

Well that settles it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230920)

Further info from a spammer board posting indicates that Al is still free and *NOT* in custody

...and spammers are rightly famed for their fastidious adherence to truth and honesty :|


Genghis Troll (158585) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230602)

I just don't get it.

Hmm (1)

kitsunewarlock (971818) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230642)

Hey, a way to help the national debt: ebay his fate. Is this the same person who was given a sentence of "never being allowed to use a computer for 5 years"?

Re:Hmm (1)

CCFreak2K (930973) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230839)

Don't you mean until his 18th birthday? Then again, I don't remember this person's handle being zerocool.

Squeal on His Associates? (1, Funny)

DieByWire (744043) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230650)

He'll be squealing for his new associates.

Especially since their penis pills worked (1)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230967)

O_O squeel piggy squeel.

Ralsky has been in jail before (5, Informative)

Bellhead (236422) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230659)

If this rumor is true, it'll mean major sweeps of the spam underworld and many of its hangers-on: Ralsky has been behind bars before, and I doubt he's willing to go back.

According to the Spam Daily News - ( ts_down_world_most_prolific_spammer.asp)

However, Ralsky acknowledges that his success with spam arose out of a less-than-impressive business background. In 1992, while in the insurance business, he served a 50-day jail term for a charge arising out of the sale of unregistered securities. And in 1994, he was convicted of falsifying documents that defrauded financial institutions in Michigan and Ohio and ordered to pay $74,000 in restitution.

Of course, this could bode well or ill for prosecutors: Ralsky has been in jail, perhaps for just long enough to be scared of it. The question is: did he get hard enough to stare them down?

My bet is that he'd do the deal: he's a con artist, after all, but he's shared a bunk with real hardened felons, and that's likely to be the kiss-of-death for his co-conspirators when push comes to shove.


Re:Ralsky has been in jail before (1)

kitsunewarlock (971818) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230662)

Well, if he was smart you'd think he'd move to a more spam friendly country. Maybe something in deep, deep Africa...or perhaps boat out to some god-forsaken island that somehow has a post-office. I wonder if Cuba's embargo includes data...then again spam should probably be recatagorized as "undata". Personally I think the companies paying spammers to spam should be just as liable as the spammers.

Abort fire mission Fox Ultra! (1)

AndroidCat (229562) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230667)

I guess there's no need to target the place now. []

Actually, you are wrong (1)

zoomshorts (137587) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230804)

Sign him up for kiddie porn, he deserves no less.

Failing to find kiddie porn, send gay porn. His
wife will love it, his kids will be proud.

Oh please... (1)

pxpt (40550) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230676)

...oh please let this be true. I often thought that kneecapping spammers with a nail spiked baseball bat was too soft a punishment for these guys.

What charges? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230695)

I wonder if the feds will bust him under charges such as attempting to sell drugs to children.

Give the man a fair trial (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230710)

The same people who run for cover every time a minor violation of privacy by our US government is uncovered, are now calling for a man who committed nothing more than a minor, victimless crime -- misuse of an electronic forum by the public -- they are calling for this man to be tortured.

Now, you left wing liberals, take a look at yourself, you protest torture of prisoners in Abu Gurab -- these are terrorists who kill Americans -- but you want a real USA businessmen, who started a company and turned a profit -- to be killed and in one Slashdot's reader's words, AK47 gunned down, for a minor book-keeping offense?

You libbies make me sick.

Re:Give the man a fair trial (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230745)

The relation between an event and a person is often the measure the wanted punishment.

slashdotter gets an annoying email: torture and kill spammer!
terrorist kills 100s people slashdotter doesnt know personnaly: FBI is evil! Free the terrorist! human rights! human rights!


Linus stole millions of code from SCO: SCO is the devil!!
Sonly is late a day releasing Tivo Linux source: Hang them high!


Will he be D & D or will he be a canary? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230748)

Ask Johnny Friendly.

Spam king is Sanford Wallace (1)

andrewagill (700624) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230753)

Who is Alan Ralsky? The Spam King is, was, and forever shall be Sanford Wallace. With the Duke of Crass being Scott Richter and the Earl of Insanity being Roddy ``Time Traveller'' Todino.

robby, sorry (1)

andrewagill (700624) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230759)

Robby Todino, not Roddy. Sorry about that.

MAKE $$$ FAST!!!!! (1, Funny)

peterfa (941523) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230780)

Make $$$$ fast!! Just hold down the shit-key and then the 3 key and you'll be making $$$$ fast!!

Yes... I stole this from Bash; sue me.

Slashdot Crowd loves Federal Government (4, Funny)

achesloc (697690) | more than 8 years ago | (#15230789)

If (Feds.prosecute() == Spammer)
else if (Feds.prosecute() == AnybodyElse)

Re:Slashdot Crowd loves Federal Government (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230828)

Dude, since when is prosecute() the name of an accessor? That's ridiculous. Feds.prosecute(foo) should make the Feds prosecute foo. Feds.prosecutedEntities() should return an array.

Re:Slashdot Crowd loves Federal Government (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230978)

*THIS* is why I love /.


vermin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15230849)

put his ballz in a blender. Oh yeah, he'll sing.

What a shame (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15231003)

I hope someone takes a 'special interest' in him when he goes to prison.

poor guy (4, Funny)

spongman (182339) | more than 8 years ago | (#15231034)

If you're reading this Alan, I've got some excellent 'Get Out Of Jail Free' pills you might be interested in...

Do they have the death penalty in the states for.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15231049)

Just wondering if they still have the death penelty in the states for spam.. parking tickets.. um you know "Terrorism" the self serving psychopaths in the white house think of as anything which is where someone uses their own free will. Although personally setting a nuclear bomb over washington sounds like a pretty damn good idea, good way of having a "garbage collection" ..Anyway enough of my thoughts on politicians and the psychopaths in the whitehouse

I know the perfect punishment.. give him twenty years in a padded cell with a tv that cant be turned off and have the volume at full for twenty four hours a day EVERY day showing nothing except for commercials.

Hey if the guy lasts a month hell be too much of a basket case to recommit, that or he will take himself out.

Just my 2c of taxpayer dollars with

Ah, Spam (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15231056)

So we've finally reached the point where spammers no longer try to portray themselves as "honest, legitimate" businessmen?

How about the halcyon days of USENET. We had the scumbag disbarred lawyer Cantor and Siegel who first decided to piss in the pool and then wrote a book on "How To Make A Fortune on the Information Superhighway". They disparaged "geeks" and "censorship" trying to make themselves look like real honest business folk.

And then there were the USENET "Freedom Knights," a group of proto-spammers who banded together in protest of the mass SPAM cancels going on. All the usual palaver from these idiots as well...blather about SPAM being fee speech, the free market, etc.

Ah, where are they now? So much for their bullshit about spammers being honest businessmen.
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