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How The Internet Works - With Tubes

Zonk posted more than 7 years ago | from the yay-tubes dept.

The Internet 664

Chardish writes "In an attempt to explain his reasons for voting against a Net Neutrality bill this past Thursday, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens delivered a jaw-dropping attempt to explain how the Internet works. Said Stevens: 'They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.'"

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664 comments

Subliterate Legislators (5, Insightful)

(1+-sqrt(5))*(2**-1) (868173) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648819)

Quoth Ted Stevens, from TFA:
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday.
Arthur Clarke once said: “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic;” and indeed, our senators conceive of the internet as a mysterious metaphysical entity. Ted Stevens seems to have “recieved an internet,” after all, sometime yesterday.

Isn't it bizarre having sub-literate legislators who determine the future of our livelihood: the internet?

Correction (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648833)

That's the internets, thank you very much.

Re:Correction (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648857)

It's interwebs, numbnuts.

Re:Correction (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648920)

That's intarwebs, knee-biter.

Re:Correction (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648964)

If Sen. Stevens is having difficulty understanding how the Internet works, he should just talk to former Sen. Gore, who should know exactly how it works, on account of being its inventor and all.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648840)

The sad part here is that this guy feels qualified to stand up and lecture everyone on why he voted like he did, despite the fact that he knows nothing about the subject.

I understand that not every legislator can understand every nuance of every issue being voted on, but this guy seems to have developed a strong opinion on the subject. To my way of thinking he needs to have some basic understanding of the subject under discussion to hold a strong opinion.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648853)

Absolutely. There's nothing more dangerous than someone who's percieved abilities and actual abilities are very different in a particular subject area.

I'm sure this idiot will remind the SysAdmins out there of some of their more destructive users.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (0)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648859)

Most likely, he is influenced by da big bucks from telcos that would love nothing more than to see Net Neutrality get struck down. I mean, it's the only explanation.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Funny)

Tatarize (682683) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648962)

People that disconnected from peers should be beaten with a broken pipe. He's not the only one with metaphors.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648965)

"The sad part here is that this guy feels qualified to stand up and lecture everyone"
Sounds exactly like Slashdot, wouldn't you say?

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Insightful)

jkrise (535370) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648992)

The sad part here is that this guy feels qualified to stand up and lecture everyone on why he voted like he did...

That's the BAD part.. not the sad part. The sad part is, he was VOTED to power by people like us, to stand up and lecture... The corrective action would be.. Have a set of tests to determine which senator(s) can lecture / vote on a given topic. Those who fail the test lose their voting rights...

this guy seems to have developed a strong opinion on the subject..

Or maybe he has been subjected to a strong influence, to lecture the way he did. Or maybe no one else listening knew enought o call the bluff. Or maybe the rest were lobbied to remain mute as well.. Or maybe all of the above.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (5, Funny)

Tatarize (682683) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649008)

Show some respect!

The man is the President Pro Tempore. If the President, Vice President and Speaker of the House die... he becomes President of the United States. ... ... oh shit.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (5, Funny)

hazem (472289) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648861)

Well, that explains why Google is giving so much room in their inboxes. You just never know when you might receive an internet or two. Next thing you know, you'll be getting whole spam internets.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Funny)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648871)

And also, by "an internet was sent by my staff" I assume he means an email. Since when does it take days for an email to arrive? It's nutters! I'll say it again, who the fuck votes for these guys????

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Informative)

mcvos (645701) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648952)

And also, by "an internet was sent by my staff" I assume he means an email. Since when does it take days for an email to arrive? It's nutters! I'll say it again, who the fuck votes for these guys????
It can take days, and it always could. It has little to do with congestion of the lines, and a lot to do with bad configuration of networks, servers and mailreaders.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (1)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649000)

Huh. There you go. Never happened to me though. You would hope that an intra-office email at a US Senator office would take shorter time, but with this guy running it, I'd probably trust the pony express more.

Re: the excerpt quoted above. (2, Funny)

Bloke down the pub (861787) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648887)

Not only does the guy talk crap, he talks totally ungrammatical and repetitive crap. All it needs is a few end-shifted verbs and it Yoda would sound like.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648936)

Not bizarre, it's scary.

We have people deciding over things they quite evidently don't have the foggiest idea of. This goes for legislators as well as judges, with the rare exception every few years.

Face it, politics is a mushroom culture. As soon as a bright head shows itself, it gets chopped off.

Re:Subliterate Legislators (4, Insightful)

10Ghz (453478) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648970)

So, we have now established that this individual is 100% ignorant when it comes to this particular subject-matter. Instead of whining about it on /., has any of you actually contacted him and told him that he's wrong?

Senate Intelligence Down the Tubes (4, Interesting)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648821)

Poor guy, doesn't even know his head from his tube.

I read the whole thing in hopes that he was addressing why the government & pentagon use their own equipment and lines for communications but he wasn't.

One would hope that if you were planning on giving a speech about the internet that you would either pay an aide to sit you down and brief you on it ... or you would at least Google it [google.com].

Hopefully this will be somewhat of a wake-up call for politicians to educate themselves on the topic of the internet before they start passing legislation on net neutrality. I doubt it though.

I can laugh at this guy, but if I think of any member of my immediate family they probably think of the internet as a "magic tube" just as much as Senator Ted Stevens. I could go through the frustrating process of trying to explain it to them but that's not so enticing.

Re:Senate Intelligence Down the Tubes (1)

BrynM (217883) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648834)

One would hope that if you were planning on giving a speech about the internet that you would either pay an aide to sit you down and brief you on it ... or you would at least Google it.
The description of that first link in the search probably scared him off: "A slightly technical whitepaper explaining what makes the Internet tick." Run Ted! Run!

Re:Senate Intelligence Down the Tubes (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648929)

He would have googled it but the tubes were all clogged up the day he tried.

Re:Senate Intelligence Down the Tubes (1)

Sillygates (967271) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648993)

hmm it seems like he probably say the telcos propiganda page calling net neutrality a dumb pipe (then describing QoS rather than the real issue).

here is a link: http://www.internetofthefuture.com/ [internetofthefuture.com]. I really do feel bad putting the link here, I really dont want to increase the pagerank on google :(

Just shut up and take your bribe money (5, Interesting)

Serveert (102805) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648827)

Senator Ted Stevens,

Your ignorant words accomplish nothing except make you look like an idiot. Just save your breath, shut up, vote against net neutrality, and take your bribe money like a good little corrupt politician.

Re:Just shut up and take your bribe money (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648889)

Napoleon Bonaparte
"Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence."

I think people really need to take that to heart more.
Do you really expect every lawmaker to be an expert on everything?
Only the important thing right? But what's important to you isn't important to a farmer in Nebraska.
Our system is a bunch of stupid idiots who have few opinions. They are bombarded with lobbists MORE then we are with advertising. People PAYED to explain to them one side of an issue the don't have the first clue about.
This is why letters to your congressmen are important. You educated them and show them an issue is important to their constiuents. Look up the numbers, it takes very few people swing a district election or even a senate seat. They can't afford to have someone back home start seriously networking against there campaign.
One person actively dragging people out and mobilizing them can kill their next bid surer then a scandal.

People don't have power in this country only because they think they don't.

Re:Just shut up and take your bribe money (4, Interesting)

sexyrexy (793497) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648926)

Do you really expect every lawmaker to be an expert on everything?

No, but I have always wanted to believe they aren't completely retarded. My grandparents don't even own a computer and they could explain the Internet better than that. You don't have to be a mechanic to know that a car has pistons, needs gas and oil.

Re:Just shut up and take your bribe money (1)

dangermouses (986522) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648899)

come now, he may not have been given free private jet trips and free meals to mke hime bote the way he did, he may just be a dumbass.

Re:Just shut up and take your bribe money (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648946)

shut up, vote against net neutrality, and take your bribe money like a good little corrupt politician.

From the political realist perspective, the term "corrupt politician" is redundant. Politicians aren't supposed to have morals, or standards, or common decency. Incidentally, the same can be said of corporations, nations in the international arena, and militaries.

But it is pretty entertaining watching congressmen make asses of themselves. Makes you think ... perhaps the average slash reader (and possibly the average walmart greeter) is too technically literate to make it to congress. Apparently, to get elected, you have to be an idiot (or maybe it's to want to be elected...).

Wifi alliance Lobbyists realise they have problem (1)

sjwest (948274) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648969)

tubes !!!, spluttered the wifi lobby spokesman, its radio signals today silly, many wifi companies are going to aim thought control radio programs at the senators office, tubes are so 1960's

Netwhat?/? You know, taht inter-movie-thingy!!1!`! (4, Interesting)

BrynM (217883) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648828)

Internet?!? That bozo can't even understand Netflix:

"There's one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.

"But this service isn't going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free."

I'm calling Netflix in the morning to ask where my other 7 DVDs are... and argue that I shouldn't be charged for changing my Queue. I'll also ask them where their non-internet website is at. My other 7 DVDs better arrive when I get home!

CSPAN is sometimes indistinguishable from Comedy Central. I can't believe this guy is the President pro Tempore of the senate (third in line of presidential succession). He also chairs the Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation. If you voted for this asshat, do the rest of us a favor and please don't ever vote again.

Re:Netwhat?/? You know, taht inter-movie-thingy!!1 (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648862)

I voted for him every election because he may not be looking out for you, but he is looking out for me. I will probably do it again because I find nothing more humorous than watching a Stevens - Feinstein fight on CSPAN. The funny thing is the entire slashdot crowd won't be able to stop me until the old man retires.

Awesome!!

 

Re:Netwhat?/? You know, taht inter-movie-thingy!!1 (0)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648881)

I'm guessing he was drunk at the time. I mean, come on, he couldn't form full sentances!

Re:Netwhat?/? You know, taht inter-movie-thingy!! (4, Insightful)

hyfe (641811) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648910)

If you voted for this asshat, do the rest of us a favor and please don't ever vote again.

A majority of the US population seem to have taken variations of this advice already.

Besides, this is a variantion of the whole 'only the intelligent know they're stupid'-problem.. if you have everybody who realise they're wrong withdraw because of their own perceived stupidity, you'll just be left with the people who weren't capable of realising their errors. Learning is doing mistakes; people who never do mistakes are just good at shifting blame.

Re:Netwhat?/? You know, taht inter-movie-thingy!!1 (1, Informative)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648913)

I can't believe this guy is the President pro Tempore of the senate (third in line of presidential succession).

There are places [wikipedia.org] in my country where it it is a big advantage for a politician to appear to have a funny name [wikipedia.org], funny voice [wikipedia.org] or minor mental imparement [wikipedia.org]. Any one of these things are worth votes, and votes are worth money.

And the humour is? (3, Insightful)

riflemann (190895) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648829)

Network engineers talk about 'pipes' all the time when it comes to internet links. Tubes, pipes, same thing no?

Sounds like a good analogy to me.

Re:And the humour is? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648835)

One could think of a pneumatic tube [wikipedia.org] system as a sort of packet-switched network. Maybe.

Re:And the humour is? (1)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648904)

Hey, how cool would it be if someone implemented ethernet protocols over pneumatic tubes!!! It'd have to be switched ofcourse, otherwise one would have to copy each tube so that everyone on the Ethertube got a copy. And then you'd have to implement that cool wait-a-random-interval collision detection thing so that the tubes don't smash into eachother. My god, that would be awesome!

Re:And the humour is? (1)

Kazymyr (190114) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648838)

Maybe he's talking about these tubes [wikipedia.org].

Re:And the humour is? (1)

BrynM (217883) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648864)

He's perfectly capable of confusing those with these [wikipedia.org] tubes. I always suspected the Internet was based on "Theater Rock".

Re:And the humour is? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648909)

I never saw The Tubes live, but I loved them when I was a kid.

Re:And the humour is? (1)

ObsessiveMathsFreak (773371) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648890)

Tubes, pipes, same thing no?

Traditionally tubes carry more viscous fluids, and hence have a greater tendancy than pipes to develop blockages and generally have a slower flow. It's a careful choice of words. Mark it well.

Re:And the humour is? (1)

mlush (620447) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648906)

When I read the headline I was rather hoping someone had done a cool internet model in the style of MONIAC [wikipedia.org]

Re:And the humour is? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648927)

The problem with his analogy is that when engineers discuss pipes they have one of two very specific meanings in mind that become obvious in context. This guy is conflating several issues into one confusing muddle and does nothing to create a useful image in his listener's mind.

The tubes analogy was bad, but no worse than what a random joe off the street might come up with, but the rest of his incoherent ramblings are what really piss me off. And this guy chairs the committee on telecomunications.

The joke's on us (3, Interesting)

pedantic bore (740196) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648949)

This "tube" metaphor doesn't seem bad at all, especially given his audience. As the parent post pointed out, if he'd used "pipes" instead of "tubes" it wouldn't be a slashdot story...

Seriously -- do you expect him to hand out copies of a few dozen RFCs and a map of the backbone sites and say "here, read this, and everything will be crystal clear." Politicians have better things to do than try to understand BGP.

Re:The joke's on us (1)

frinkacheese (790787) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648983)

Yes, they have to go bank their bribe cheques. It can take a while, especially if they have quite a few.

Re:The joke's on us (4, Insightful)

LordSnooty (853791) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649001)

No, but understanding the difference between an "internet" and (one assumes) an "e-mail" might be a start. Also useful would be understanding the notion that the presumed delayed e-mail was not delayed because I was downloading Superman Returns, for example.

Re:And the humour is? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648999)

sounded okish to me too - until i read the full article talk about this guy being clueless.

Those who were lobbying for neutrality should have used words like
'descrimination' and 'monopoly of information' then it wouldn't have got through.

bloody morons everywhere.

It's NOT a truck??!?!? (2, Funny)

greenpanda (679394) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648830)

Dammit! I was sure it had SOMETHING to do with trucks! Grrr!

Oh, and that whole thing about pipes - was anyone else thinking about their intestines at that bit? No? Not even when he says they are filled with an "enormous amount of material" ??

Re:It's NOT a truck??!?!? (3, Interesting)

BoaZaur (451593) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648914)

Actually A truck is a bit better analogy than a tube. The truck been a packet of at most some amount. And the capacity of the roads are the bandwidth. and the need to go through a series of junctions, to get from one place to another. And the main roads, and the back roads. Only that the time on the line is negligible and the only thing that matter is the load on the junction (and the junction speed maybe) and that when the junction/(line) gets over capacity the truck is destroyed and another identical truck gets sent it its place, doubling the average amount of trucks on the road. So it comes down to only kill the trucks with the ugly face driver.

Slow Internet (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648842)

Here's something else Stevens said about the Internet... Apparently, he's having trouble receiving it from his staff.

"...I just the other day got Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o' clock the morning on Friday. I got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things that are going on the Internet commercially."

Uh Oh... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648847)

Lets all hope the internet doesn't decide to get a vasectomy :\

It has to be said (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648848)

I think we can all agree, there are a lot of tubes on the Internet.

Ted Stevens, I love the guy..... (5, Interesting)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648850)

This is the same guy the threatened to quit the senate if funds for building a brige that led to nowhere in alaska was used for relief after hurricane Katrina. He is mindbogginly isnane, he is. Who the fuck votes for these guys?

Re:Ted Stevens, I love the guy..... (1)

burninator (660720) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648860)

Ofcourse he has to "protect" the interests of his "voters" (read: bribers). Who can blame this obviously incompetent man for doing what somebody has paid him to do?

Re:Ted Stevens, I love the guy..... (2, Interesting)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648894)

Maybe it's just by childish naivete, but I would hope that voters would recognize that, even if it might be slightly negative for themselves, giving a few bucks to people who have lost their homes and their livelyhoods and are living in tents is, you know, the right thing to do.

How much pork does he get? (1)

Ohreally_factor (593551) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648932)

Who the fuck votes for these guys?

Uh, their constituents?

Stevens is one of the biggest pigs at the public spending trough, despite being a Republican*. He gets votes because he brings home the bacon.

*There used to be a time once when Republicans were the fiscally responsible party. Seriously.

Re:How much pork does he get? (1)

gkhan1 (886823) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648976)

Uh, their constituents?

Yes, obviously his constituents. I realise that, I'm not an idiot ;) I meant more like "what kind of people votes for these guys"

Stevens is one of the biggest pigs at the public spending trough, despite being a Republican*. He gets votes because he brings home the bacon.

Some one should hit his voters with a mallet with the words "Greater good" ingrained on it.

*There used to be a time once when Republicans were the fiscally responsible party. Seriously.

Exactly! I'm no fan of the small government doctrine (I'm more of a welfare-state kind-of-a-guy) so I wouldn't vote repulican either way, but atleast back in the day you could respect their ideologies! To paraphrase John Goodman as Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski - "Fat Cats! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of a conservative fiscal policy, Dude, at least it's an ethos!"

Add tubes (1)

Roy van Rijn (919696) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648856)

If the internet consists of tubes, why not just add some tubes for personal use, or tubes for p0rn..! Or something like that... err.. (??)

Just call a expert and get informed a little bit sigh... This is how our precious internet is going down, canned, filtered, banned :(

From Alaska to Florida... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648863)

...we've now proven that stupidity and ignorance runs rampant through the political arena. Is there any hope for the vast [policital] space in between (his ears)? God help him the next time he hears the words "snake a tube down his throat" at the hospital. Might think he's getting an Internet connection installed.

That's a poor choice of quote in the summary... (3, Insightful)

vistic (556838) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648868)

...the quote in the summary is actually the most accurate thing he said.

"I don't have to have the type of speed they're introducing, but the people who are streaming through 10-12 movies at a time or a whole book at a time... for consumers use, those are not you and me, they're not the consumers, those are providers."

Re:That's a poor choice of quote in the summary... (2, Insightful)

kahei (466208) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648940)

I especially like the 'not you and me' thing. It doesn't matter that he doesn't know what he's talking about, it doesn't matter that he's semi-literate, it doesn't matter that he is well above that threshold of wealth beyond which you simply don't have to know how things work or how to make them work; what matters is that he's on our side, the side of ordinary folks like you and me, the consumers.

I feel a warm fuzzy feeling. I'd vote for this guy.

Ted Stevens (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648869)

Is it just me, or do your Senators have a habit of spouting off the most garbled nonsense on subjects they have no understanding about? This seems to be a strange quirk of U.S. politics, voting idiots into congress.

You can't learn anything on the internet. (1)

DavidV (167283) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648877)

"We aren't earning anything by going on that internet."

Speak for yourself buddy.

Clogged Tubes (5, Funny)

peteb0 (798424) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648879)

Stevens made this speech DAYS ago -- yet it's just getting to slashdot TODAY???? Those damned tubes must be clogged again!

"I abstain from this vote because... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648884)

I don't understand what it is about."

Politicians can't know everything, but they could have the decency to let others do the talking (and voting) when they themselves have no clue. The funny (sad funny) thing is that Stevens argues one shouldn't regulate without understanding if network neutrality is really needed, and then he goes on and gives these stupid, wrong and incoherent arguments why network neutrality is bad. It's bizarre.

Are all your bloody politicians like dubya? (2, Insightful)

Don_dumb (927108) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648895)

Quote from TFA
"I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?"
From RFTA - the apparent translation is
"The other day I just got an email that was sent by my staff a number of days before"

Judging by the almost complete lack of any real grasp of the English language or how the internet works, could it be that his email was delayed by the fact that he had no idea what the internet was until one of his staff had asked why he hadn't replyed to his emails?

Tubes??? (1)

Sagachi (986501) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648907)

You can get the internet delivered in tubes? I hope that's not on the CCNA exam, I don't remember that part...

Re:Tubes??? (2, Funny)

lanswitch (705539) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649007)

You probably were asleep. It came right after the chapter on IP over Avian Carriers (RFC 2549).

I'm (2, Informative)

Konster (252488) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648916)

I'm Alaskan. I don't claim the guy, even though I'm Republican. Murkowski/Stevens are doing more harm than good these days, both are old men, and both are worn out old drunks that are pushing their incapable children on us.

The "Bridge to nowhere" isn't that. It's a bridge from Anchorage to Wasilla. Real estate in Anchorage is expensive and you don't get much for your dollar. House on a postage stamp type of thing. Wasilla, there's good value for the dollar, but the commute to Anchorage sucks. 1+hour one way, which would be a fraction of that with a bridge, not to mention massively reduced costs for agriculture, and the whole deal is a good thing...IF Stevens/Murkowski didn't have their mitts in it. Of their children, one is crooked, the other inept.

But yeah, Ted is just a worn out old drunk that needs to go.

give the guy a break! (1)

docwatson223 (986360) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648918)

My explanation to my mother was about the same speed. If he's trying to boil down the Internet to the clueless, I wish he'd said pipes instead of tubes but the concept is the same. He did okay with a rudementary explanation of QoS as well. Until we get a CCIE or JNCIE elected this is going to happen, so who's the geek out there willing to start running for office?

Re:give the guy a break! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648958)

The tube explanation was actually not that wrong, but it was completely beside the point. I pay for a couple of Mbps and it's none of Ted Stevens' business what I use that bandwidth for. If I want to use that for streaming video (to my computer) then that's my choice and I've already paid for that. If Google or anyone else wants to send me streaming video over their also already paid for uplink, then that's their choice too. If telcos think that they need much more money to actually give us what they have already sold to us, then they could raise prices. I doubt that they'll do that because bandwidth isn't actually that expensive. But even if they do, Ted Stevens will still get his low bandwidth connection cheap and none of his "internets" would have to get in line to enter any tubes because everybody would still be paying for their share of the bandwidth just as we do today. Also, someone tell his staff to get a better mail provider, because network congestion has zilch to do with mail delays.

Obligatory Dilbert (1)

toast4321 (986524) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648923)

"I have a new personal crusade. I'm going to hunt down the people who have strong opinions on subjects they dont understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube."

Never knew the tube consisted of the power of the internet. It makes sense though, cardboard on the outside, a lot of hot air on the inside.

What he REALLY wanted to say... (4, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648925)

I mean, I can see why a politician can't express himself in a way to be understandable, but as far as I get it it is:

Without net neutrality, the internet goes down the tubes.

Don't forget (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648935)

This guy voted for the war too. If he is that ignorant about the single biggest technological breakthrough in history, do you think he knows his shit about middle east politics?

And of course, my stuff will have highest priority (1)

Xugumad (39311) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648947)

What amazes me about every argument against network neutrality is this belief that clearly, their traffic will be given priority. This is clearly nonsense. The traffic from the people with the most money will be given priority, and I have a feeling the people complaining about latency aren't the people paying the most for Internet access...

After listening to the audio... (1)

Rhinobird (151521) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648950)

After listening to the audio, I have come to the conclusion that the Senator from Alaska is drunk. I've made about as much sense when I'm drunk, too. I wish I could remember my explaination of Windows using smurfs, but...I don't really remember much of that night anyway.

Re:After listening to the audio... (1)

greg1104 (461138) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648981)

I wish I could remember my explaination of Windows using smurfs, but...I don't really remember much of that night anyway.

It was hilarious--you were really smurfed up that night.

Wait until he finds out about his Senate page (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648967)

He will be furious when he finds out his Senate homepage seems to be down.
I just tried going to it, and I got a error page.

So much for his internets!

Don't Just Reply on Slashdot (5, Interesting)

Christoff9 (868550) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648968)

Dear Slashdot Community,
I know that the very structure of this site lends itself to keeping your comments and opinions contained within the slashdot community. However, in this case, it's not a great time to be so inward. You can take just a couple of extra seconds and make a difference with your opinions on Net Neutrality--go to http://stevens.senate.gov/contact.cfm [senate.gov]. Write Senator Stevens a short message expressing your concerns about his lack of expertise on the subject (even his fundamental lack of understanding about what the internet is and how it works). Don't do it by calling him an idiot or otherwise insulting him. Give him a quick summary of how things actually work. Tell him what Net Neutrality *really* is and why it is important--especially to the average consumer. Then take a couple more seconds to go to http://thomas.loc.gov/ [loc.gov], find out how to contact your House rep or your favorite senator from your state, and write a similar message explaining that you were concerned with the views Senator Stevens expressed to the Senate Commerce Committee about his lack of support for even the most basic Net Neutrality legislation. Again explain why you feel Net Neutrality is an important issue for the average consumer. This is particularly important if the Senator to whom you write is one of the other 10 members of the Senate Commerce Committee who voted against adding this minor Net Neutrality amendment to a recent telecom bill (presumably, a Republican from this list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Senate_Committee _on_Commerce,_Science_and_Transportation [wikipedia.org]). It will only take you a few more minutes than crafting the "perfect" slashdot comment, and it will make much more of a difference.

Best,
Chris

Re:Don't Just Reply on Slashdot (1)

ACDChook (665413) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649013)

It will only take you a few more minutes than crafting the "perfect" slashdot comment, and it will make much more of a difference.

True, but at least a perfectly crafted slashdot comment will be read, and not just deleted by the 'emails from the public' filter.

Unreadable tripe.. (1)

frinkacheese (790787) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648972)

He should really get somebody else to write for him. I had to read this through a few times before I could read the awfull English he was using. Oh and Internet has a BIG I in it, dude. Plus I think he's talking a load of bollocks. *Sheesh*

So the solution is simple... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#15648973)

Just make the tubes large enough to fit trucks in.

Geek clique (5, Interesting)

Decker-Mage (782424) | more than 7 years ago | (#15648988)

So the guy says tubes when he really means pipes. Given that his generation didn't even have an internet, at least he got somewhere in the ballpark. Every profession, group, or clique has it's own terminology and it isn't surprising when a non-member mangles the terms. If you are polite, which this group obviously is not, you politely correct the individual and explain what is meant by the term. Given that pipes as a term bears zero relationship to the actual hardware, he actually did damned good in my not so humble opinion. As a teacher/professor in multiple fields, I can easily switch to vernaculars which would leave most of this audience gasping for breath, or at least grasping for Wikipedia if the terms are even in there. I try to avoid that or explain paranthetically what I mean.

As for the issue at hand, he isn't far off the mark although I think Congress is totally ill-equipped to address the issue just as they were ill-equipped to address the SPAM issue. Frankly I think the market should decide. If the telecomm providers try to double-tap the content providers they will more than likely get a very rude shock when the large content providers purchase, if they don't already have it (Google}, dark fiber, fire it up, and do an end run around the telecomms industry. It wouldn't be hard for the larger providers to do so and with cross-trading capacity agreements, they could probably do a better job, cheaper, actually. Then the telecomms providers wouldn't have a basis for complaint at all. All that excess capacity they already have to handle peak traffic would just sit there, not earning them a dime on their capital investment. Couldn't happen to nicer people (SBC anyone?).

Yep, trying to dumb it down (1)

rdean400 (322321) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649002)

but the analogy isn't as bad as it may seem and anyone who's called a network connection a "pipe" has no room to talk.

He didn't say he was opposed to net neutrality on principle. He said he was opposed to regulation until there was a sufficient case of abuse to demonstrate the need for regulation.

I disagree. I think this is one of those cases where the government should be proactive, but I can understand not wanting to regulate something until we know how it's going to be abused (so that can be written into the legislation).

HELP!!! INTERNET MISSING.... (1)

jkrise (535370) | more than 7 years ago | (#15649006)

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday..

Thanks for clearing up that bit, Mr. Senator... I was wondering why I couldn't get any internet over the weekend!
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