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Walmart Tries to Emulate MySpace

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 8 years ago | from the trying-way-to-hard dept.

345

mattsucks writes to tell us that according to AdAge, retail behemoth WalMart is trying desperately to target the MySpace demographic with a new, and highly sanitized, site designed to appeal to teens. From the article: "It's a quasi-social-networking site for teens designed to allow them to 'express their individuality,' yet it screens all content, tells parents their kids have joined and forbids users to e-mail one another. Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters' -- a twist on hipsters that proves just how painfully uncool it is to try to be cool."

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Uh oh (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741628)

I didn't think it was humanly possible, but I think I like Myspace better.

Just wait for Hub 2.0... (5, Funny)

Hamster Lover (558288) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741766)

Just wait. Walmart will realize their mistake and allow kids to do things like add hot pink text on top of bright orange, move the text boxes all over the fucking page and feature looping, inane, impossible to shut off Walmart-friendly music that highlights all the best boy bands Walmart has to offer.

Re:Uh oh (5, Interesting)

MrPsycho (939714) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741779)

Good Lord, there has to be an end to this. Every company with an online frontend thinks they can create some kind of social-networking infrastructure to "draw the hip kids in" with. What a load of crap. Why would I join the walmart network to hook up with my friends and buy paper towels, when I'm already connected to 15 different networks. I already have too many to be on. Not to mention, I am sure a social network like myspace, whose sole purpose is to serve as a social network, is much better at performing that function than, say, Walmart is. Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends. And in case they haven't noticed, teenage girls aren't going to tell each other they shop at Walmart. There's a bit of a stigma attached to that. From what I hear, they all shop at Target, or "Tär-zhAy"

Re:Uh oh (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741817)

Not to mention, I am sure a social network like myspace, whose sole purpose is to serve as a social network, is much better at performing that function than, say, Walmart is. Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends.
True, but just because they're known for something else doesn't mean they can't throw money at the problem and come up with a good solution.

Re:Uh oh (3, Insightful)

Flendon (857337) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741912)

True, but just because they're known for something else doesn't mean they can't throw money at the problem and come up with a good solution.
Well, they got the 'throw money at the problem' part right at least.

Re:Uh oh (2, Insightful)

MrPsycho (939714) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741918)

Right, but the key problem is the userbase. Why does AIM remain so popular as the AOL isp service continues to decline? Existing infrastructure. Everyone has an AIM screen name, and if you want to talk to them you'll likely have to do the same. So, why would I join a social network site like Walmart to shop with my friends, when none of my friends are on it? Its going to take a LOT of money to fix that and incentivise getting me to join your service. And when that's finished, did you really sell more crap?

Re:Uh oh (2, Funny)

carpe_noctem (457178) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741799)

On one website, you can find underage booty to take home with you.... on the other, you can find low, low prices!

hrms, tough decision....

Re:Uh oh (2, Funny)

Ethan Allison (904983) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741802)

Walmart Hub 2.0: underage booty at low, low prices! ...Why does this sound like a profitable business model enough to scare me?

Re:Uh oh (1)

zaphod_es (613312) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741805)

There speaks someone who is not an teenager and cannot even remember what it was like. Maybe it is mutant genes and maybe teenagers just like to be awkward but anythng they like, almost by definition, is bad taste. If you doubt me take a look through your own old photographs.

Re:Uh oh (5, Funny)

aichpvee (631243) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741849)

Our site requires Flash 8 in order to present you with the highest level of interactivity available.
Please click here to visit the Macromedia site and download the free Flash player for your Web browser,
then return to our site to experience our site at its best.


It's so great running Linux. I couldn't view that crap even if I wanted to. Now if only all the other garbage on the web would take this precaution to protect me from seeing their sites...

I dunno... (1)

7Prime (871679) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741629)

This is, after all, emulating a culture that coined the term "hopster" to mean anyone who's trying to be like them, they might actually take to it.

Re:I dunno... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741797)

Actually, this is a hopster [urbandictionary.com] .

AdSpace (4, Insightful)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741631)

The only thing is, MySpace didn't get created as a way to gather free footage for an ad campaign or to push apparel sales on kids. From the FAQ [walmart.com] :
SO, WHAT CAN I DO HERE? There's tons of fun stuff to keep you entertained! Check out the latest fashion trends and make your own personalized page for a chance to win amazing prizes from Sony! If you're a little more ambitious, create your own video clip and send it in for a chance to have it turned into a TV commercial!
The whole "Wal-MartSpace" site seems to be geared around a contest to create a Wal-Mart ad. The rules [walmart.com] of the contest state
Entrants are asked to discuss, illustrate, express their individuality (any way within the provisions of these rules and the guidelines posted on the Web Site), how it is reflected in their personal style, taste in fashions / accessories, interests, activities, etc., and to consider how Wal-Mart helps support their personal style and self-expression through the depth and breadth of products Wal-Mart offers.
And so much for it being a blog of sorts
Page and/or Page and Video must be completed and submitted at the same time in a single online session.
My personal favorite rule is the one that states
Without limitation and in its sole discretion, Sponsor may disqualify any Entry that it deems to:... Contain any beverages, tobacco, drug paraphernalia, firearms, or any depiction or representation thereof; or
Damn it, those kids better not have anyone drinking water in their submission! The four example videos shown would all be disqualified by the rules - most have trademarks or copyrights (music and clothing logos), one has someone with a beverage (gasp!) and one has partial nudity (shirtless boys). This is an ad campaign that is doomed to fail, IMHO. The bright side is that we will have some Wal-mart joke fodder for a while. Your kid, too, can have a Genuine Faux Blog(tm).

Re:AdSpace (-1, Troll)

joshier (957448) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741643)

Bravo bravo... excellent observation and very well executed just in a way that was so cheesy it made me laugh.

Also, you can just tell that when this guy above said "(shirtless boys)" he paused for 10 minutes to have one major furious wank.

Don't wack your monkey too hard man.

Re:AdSpace (0, Flamebait)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741690)

Also, you can just tell that when this guy above said "(shirtless boys)" he paused for 10 minutes to have one major furious wank. Don't wack your monkey too hard man.
Leave me out of your fantasies, please.

Re:AdSpace (1)

joshier (957448) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741694)

Don't take it seriously.

Re:AdSpace (0, Offtopic)

Kiffer (206134) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741646)

Damn it, those kids better not have anyone drinking water in their submission!

Water is not a beverage.

Re:AdSpace (0, Offtopic)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741682)

Water is not a beverage.
Umm... Beverage [princeton.edu] : any liquid suitable for drinking

Re:AdSpace (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741825)

Yes, but there are more definitions:
Google.com [google.com] , Answers.com [answers.com] , Wiktionary [wiktionary.org] .

Particularly "Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water"/"A liquid to be consumed, usually excluding water; a drink".

Re:AdSpace (0, Offtopic)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741864)

Yes, but there are more definitions: Google.com, Answers.com, Wiktionary. Particularly "Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water"/"A liquid to be consumed, usually excluding water; a drink".
Those aren't actual dictionaries. However, I did [cambridge.org] some [bartleby.com] looking [m-w.com] and got mixed results. Rather than avoid a definiotion-off, I will agree that there are multiple meanings - some excluding water. Unfortunately that only makes the rule more vague. I really expected them to put an "alcoholic" before beverages since the rule otherwise dealt with illegal acts for most minors. You hopefuly agree that it seems odd.

Re:AdSpace (1)

Kiffer (206134) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742009)

Those aren't actual dictionaries. However, I did [cambridge.org] some [bartleby.com] looking [m-w.com] and got mixed results.


I only checked OED (Compact OED and complete), and Dictionary.com(lazy), and only got definitions that excluded water.
But you checked lots more(good) and got conflicting results(oh oh) ... and then picked the one that agreed with you and went with that...(bad)
In my mind a beverage has to be brewed or in someway created...
Water is by not a beverage... I'm sticking with the OED on this.
IMHO, Milk, Juices and water are not beverages.

Re:AdSpace (1, Offtopic)

Kiffer (206134) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741953)

I'm sorry but water is not a beverage.

from Dictionary.com
Beverage [reference.com]
        Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water.

from the Compact Oxford English Dictionary
Beverage [askoxford.com]
  noun a drink other than water.

From OED.
Beverage [oed.com]
1. Drink, liquor for drinking; esp. a liquor which constitutes a common article of consumption.
2. A 'draught' which has been brewed, and must be drunk...

Re:AdSpace (0, Flamebait)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741996)

I'm sorry but water is not a beverage.
Kind of late to the pary there... I answered [slashdot.org] that an hour ago.

Bonus points for misspelled title (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741634)

Props go to ScuttleMonkey for how hard he trys to edit summaries he receives! I thought that one was a bit obvious, honestly.

Actually.. (2, Interesting)

vix86 (592763) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741644)

Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters' -- a twist on hipsters

Actually I don't think of "hip" when I hear that name. If you ask me they got the name from "hub" as in a center point for many connections and a way for directing connections out in other directions. Which makes sense for a social networking site, but the fact that Wal-Mart isn't allowing users to contact each other pretty much just means theres no "outgoing" really. How is this social networking again, if you can't talk to other people?

Re:Actually.. (1)

rhinocero (977815) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741718)

Hub, maybe, they got as a social networking thing, but there's no way they didn't intend for hubsters to reference hipsters, and they probably took that into consideration when choosing that name too.

In any case... (1)

Gordonjcp (186804) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741847)

... aren't we all using layer 3 switches these days?

Re:Actually.. (1)

BrynM (217883) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741985)

How is this social networking again, if you can't talk to other people?
The Hot Dog on a Stick [youtube.com] analogy can be applied to this to help explain how it can be according to marketing/corporate culture. For those afraid of a link with that title, the analogy can be summed up thusly: Consumer finds something compelling - a girl making lemonade at Hot Dog on a Stick (which involves bouncing and phallac instruments and a funny hat). Corporate marketing grabs some elements of that experience, making lemonade and silly hats, and decides that it's the same thing if they did it with a fat, hairy guy and one of those table top juicers. The marketing drones have selected elements, but the wrong ones and can't understand why it's not the same level of experience. In the Wal-Mart example, they have chosen a couple of elements (posting your own stuff, online, teenagers) and some how decided it's the same experience. In both examples the marketers only betray their lack of understanding and over-eagerness to "capture" the audience. I have seen this kind of misunderstanding by sales^^^^^marketing departments in ad meetings myself.

Re:Actually.. (1)

Chris Graham (942108) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742005)

I think of a combination of 'hubbies' (husbands) and 'dumpsters'. Sounds like a community for grave-diggers.

Check, check and check... (5, Insightful)

darnok (650458) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741651)

Screened content? Check
Parents notified? Check
Oooh, no email? Check

Yep, hits all my buttons.

Unfortunately, I'm a parent, with teenagers. I'd have as much success leading them to this site as I have getting them to tidy their rooms, speak respectfully to their elders and cook dinner occasionally.

You Speek the truth (1)

JimXugle (921609) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741715)

Because there are better things to be doing... like posting on slashdot or talking with complete strangers online... or posting on slashdot to complete strangers.

-*generic Teenager*

P.S. My parents can't find me online. :-P Can you find your kids?
P.S. Give them $40 and say "Orde--- I meen... cook some dinner!"

Re:Check, check and check... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741717)

you struggle with those things because you are a shitty parent.

Re:Check, check and check... (0, Troll)

Madcowz (904786) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741775)

And you have a small penis.

A competent parent wouldn't want to (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741899)

I'd have as much success leading them to this site as I have getting them to tidy their rooms, speak respectfully to their elders and cook dinner occasionally.

A more competent parent would succeed with the last 3. But wouldn't even want to lead them to this site, which seems to treat its users as purely advertising fodder.

Re: Ad Fodder (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15742011)

Arridor: Exploitation begins at home!

Re:Check, check and check... (5, Informative)

TubeSteak (669689) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741933)

My Hub
http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/Hubster Page/46700342 [walmart.com]

The e-mail:
From: schoolyourwayparentalconsent@walmart.com
Subject: Your child has registered at The HUB by Wal-Mart.

Your child has completed online registration and created a page at The HUB, Wal-Mart's "School Your Way" contest website.

If you would like to register at The HUB and view your child's page submission, you may do so by clicking the link below:

http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/user/do b?childId= [walmart.com]

If you do not wish to have his/her submission included in the Hub, please reply to this email on or before August 27, 2006. Your kid's page will be removed from the Hub and the Contest promptly following our receipt of your email.
Thank you!

- The Wal-Mart Back-to-School Team

Please only reply to this e-mail if requesting your child's page be removed from the Hub.

Email Marketing, Walmart.com, 7000 Marina Blvd., Brisbane, CA 94005 ? 2006 Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC. All rights reserved.


What a joke.
They call that screening?
It's an opt-out e-mail!!!

They have to know that's a stupid idea.
I could have sent that confirmation e-mail anywhere.

Grammar Nazi... (3, Informative)

flynns (639641) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741652)

TRIES. T-R-I-E-S. The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst". I've never really gotten heated about grammar in articles, but it's IN BOLD PRINT!! C'mon!
 
/late
//drunk
///please don't hurt my karma

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741702)

"trys" is not bad grammer its bad speling

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741791)

Like you would know anything about grammar in the first place...

Re:Grammar Nazi... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741741)

You missed the other error: "the trying-way-to-hard dept."

Unless, of course, it's about ways to get to 'hard', and this is a trying one...

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0, Flamebait)

tumbleweedsi (904869) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741742)

First off, it is spelling rather than grammar. Secondly, 'trys' is a perfectly acceptable word in another context. The England rugby team often scores more trys than the opposition. Are you by any chance an american? If so, and I am not trolling, please refrain from commenting on a language you do not understand.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0, Offtopic)

deathy_epl+ccs (896747) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741754)

Nitpick all you like, he was right about one thing... the use of the word "trys" in the headline was poor English.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741762)

Good show, chap! Way to spank those ruddy Yanks! Eh, wot.

Now be a good fellow, retire to the loo, and pull that rather large pole from your arse.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741822)

I'm pretty sure the plural of try is tries, too.

Not just pretty sure, in fact, absolutely positive.

So why don't you STFU you ignorant bastard.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15742046)

"Trys" may well be a word in Welsh but it sure is not in English. Try reading sometimes instead of just listening to the matches on the radio.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (1, Offtopic)

xoran99 (745620) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741782)

The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst".

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0, Offtopic)

Adhemar82 (958364) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741803)

What does a Monty Python quote have to do with a tryst?

Re:Grammar Nazi... (0, Offtopic)

OldManAndTheC++ (723450) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741824)

The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst"

Very nice turn of phrase! I wonder, how many "trys" does it take to make a "tryst"? It never seems to work for me, no matter how many "trys" :(

"Trys" does lead to one other seldom-used word: trysexual. From Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] :

Trisexual (sometimes trysexual) is either an extension of, or a pun on bisexual. In its more serious usage, it indicates an interest in transgender persons in addition to cissexual men and women. In its more humorous usage, it refers to someone who will try any sexual experience.

Of course, we must take this definition with a grain of salt, given its source. Especially in light of the Wikipedia article for cisgender [wikipedia.org] , which reads in part:

The first recorded Usenet post of cisgender was in the alt.transgendered usenet group in 1994 by Dana Leland Defosse. In April of 1996, Carl Buijs, a transsexual man from the Netherlands said in a usenet posting "As for the origin; I just made it up".

So...not really a word then, unless you are a transgendered grammar Nazi. Never mind, then ...

Re:Grammar Nazi... (1)

slittle (4150) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741860)

////not fark
/////mmkay?

Re:Grammar Nazi... (2, Funny)

Ohreally_factor (593551) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741878)

Hey Flynns, I'm sending you an email invite for the hub at walmart. I am recommending that we use underages, and use a different email addy for your parents. I don't know about you, but I can still get in trouble with my dad for doing immature stuff, even though I'm forty.

Re:Grammar Nazi... (1)

Halo1 (136547) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741906)

You missed the dept:

from the trying-way-to-hard dept

Re:Grammar Nazi... (1)

asylumx (881307) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742045)

Wow, I really thought I'd be the only one on the planet to say something. Funny how even media editors can't figure out how to spell.

Why Walmart? WHY? (4, Insightful)

moz25 (262020) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741653)

A much better idea would have been to create a subsidiary and do it through them. The association with a company that works on a "mass" basis somewhat works against the desire to "express one's individuality".

Actually, if I did want to express my individuality (which I don't, because I don't have low self-esteem), I would prefer to make my own site. That's a lot more individualistic than being part of a large mass of people on a big site.

Re:Why Walmart? WHY? (2, Insightful)

Vo0k (760020) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741892)

Actually, if I did want to express my individuality (which I don't, because I don't have low self-esteem), I would prefer to make my own site.

There are two other non-exclusive factors besides low self-esteem.

If you're (too stupid to learn proper HTML and make webpages, or too lazy to bother) and (have low self-esteem) you go for sites like MySpace. Individualism doesn't trump stupidity nor laziness.

I think I just threw-up a bit (5, Funny)

Aqua OS X (458522) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741657)

If that site were any more out of touch it would download via Senator Ted Stevens' tube based internet.

I think Walmart's been taking marketing advise from Steven Colbert:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PbJJUy1KD8 [youtube.com]

Non-news (-1, Troll)

rm999 (775449) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741660)

This is the least newsworthy story I have seen in a long time. Just because it was on Digg does not mean it is news (I'm not trolling, Im stating the obvious)

Re:Non-news (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741671)

Redundant, like Troll, is still a -1. :P You have little to gain via that defense sir.

kids on frontpage videos (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741666)

...oh wow. talk about utterly mindless "fake" reality clips. every one of those things is just designed to have you Buy More Stuff (tm). I particularly liked the completely fake skater boi telling you "not to conform", and the supposed teenage singer with the voice like a chipmunk.

Please tell me that's not what school is really like in America.

Already hashed out by the hubsters @ digg (1)

RLiegh (247921) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741679)

Of course, the level of discourse was much less sophisticated than /.; hell, no one made so much as one Soviet Russia joke!

Re:Already hashed out by the hubsters @ digg (1)

gbobeck (926553) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741841)

no one made so much as one Soviet Russia joke!


Fine... here you go:

In America, You make a joke at the expense of Slashdot.
In Soviet Russia, Slashdot make a joke at the expense of you.

I'm still waiting for a new relavant Chuck Norris fact or an "All your base" tie in for this article.

Dear Jeebus (5, Funny)

identity0 (77976) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741693)

Oh.... My... Gawd....

I have finally seen it: The Worst Idea On The Internet.

I always thought it would come from Bush, Ballmer, or Bin Laden, but congratulations, Wal-Mart, you've won! Yes, because we all know that teens are clamoring to be associated with that haven of cool, the Wal-Mart Supercenter! They'll hang out all day in chat rooms monitored by a giant smiley face that threatens to "Roll back trolls"! They want clever, yet unoffensive nicknames like 'The gr33tr' and 'mop_guy_99'! They'll argue all day over whether they should get the 80-pack of Charmin or the 120-pack of generic brand toilet paper!

What teen wouldn't mind saying in the halls of their school, "I'll see ya on The HUB, dude!" "ya, see ya later, HUBSTER"?! (tragically these two kids were beaten to death with Abercrombie & Fitch merchandise a few moments later)

Seriously, I can imagine the Gap or Abercrombie, maybe even Starbucks doing this, but.... Wal-mart?!?!

I can only imagine that the kind of teen that would use Wal-mart for a social networking service are the ones who go there barefoot and pregnant because they thought Saran Wrap was a contraceptive. That and the guys who argue over Coors Lite vs. Miller Lite.

May Cthulu help us all.

Re:Dear Jeebus (0, Flamebait)

Deluge (94014) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741901)

I always thought it would come from Bush, Ballmer, or Bin Laden

In a way, it does. The catastrophe of Bush becoming president would strongly suggest to the marketing gurus at Walmart that there is indeed a (large, terrifyingly large) group of extremely ignorant, unthinking, mentally-deficient slobs who just might suffer from enough brain damage to actually respond positively to the Hub idea.

Ballmer is the man currently responsible for carrying on the legacy of one Mr. Gates, a man responsible for the dumbing down of computers to the point where people to whom MySpace, or indeed The Hub, seems like a good idea are able to invade the once pristine realm of cyberspace.

And Bin Laden's biggest contribution to the US's downward spiral has, of course, been to rally popular support for Bush so he got to preside over a further four years of America's decline, him and his administration seemingly striving towards the ultimate goal of having a population of 300 million people who chant in unison "Durrrr... terrorism... eeevil... kill" as Walmart looks on in anticipation of profit profit profit from people with brains so terminally softened by government propaganda and nationalistic stupidity that they're very much open to the suggestion that the Hub is the place to be.

Re:Dear Jeebus (3, Funny)

cascadingstylesheet (140919) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741941)

>They'll hang out all day in chat rooms monitored by a giant
>smiley face that threatens to "Roll back trolls"!

OK, now that *would* actually rock ...

FSM (1)

Morosoph (693565) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742022)

May Cthulu help us all.

Tentacles == Spaghetti?

You may have just unmasked the true identity of the Great and Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Words fail (5, Interesting)

quokkapox (847798) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741695)

I can't believe how naive these failed-meme-launching marketing execs keep proving themselves to be.

There are 95 million myspace users and every week another million sign up. There aren't enough additional people in the Internet-using public in america to even come close to competing with myspace. They'd be lucky to pick up a couple hundred thousand users. And why would you use this instead of myspace?

This isn't intended to compete with myspace. It's just another marketing disaster.

"You've just become a member of one of the coolest cliques on the net. Be sure to spam your friends...

Wait for the goatse... Meanwhile I'll be uploading random copyright infringing content via tor... This must be good for something.

Re:Words fail (1)

Deluge (94014) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741853)

You know, I was going to give the teenage population of the US a bit of credit and assume that no-one aside from a few drooling idiots would sign up. I therefore find it absolutely tragic that anyone would be so jaded as to expect the drooling idiots to be in the hundreds of thousands instead of, maybe, dozens.

Re:Words fail (1, Redundant)

Ohreally_factor (593551) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741884)

Hey quokkapox, I'm sending you an email invite for the hub at walmart. I am recommending that we use underages, and use a different email addy for your parents. I don't know about you, but I can still get in trouble with my dad for doing immature stuff, even though I'm forty.

Re:Words fail (2, Insightful)

Chris Graham (942108) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742018)

I agree it's a stupid idea, but don't underestimate what large companies can 'leverage'. All walmart needs to do is to promote it in their stores and create some kind of incentive for people to register to it and use it (such as store discounts); then they can build on that attention by providing a quality system (which of course, they're failing at right now).

MySpace (4, Insightful)

pubjames (468013) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741703)


I've looked at MySpace but I just don't get it. It just full of crap. Perhaps I'm too old.

Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?
 

Re:MySpace (5, Funny)

hclyff (925743) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741734)

Perhaps I'm too old.

Yes, definitely. If, by old, you mean born before 1993.

Re:MySpace (3, Insightful)

BenjyD (316700) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741850)

Appears to be a giant dating site for people who think quoting 'meaningful' song lyrics on their web page makes them deep.

Re:MySpace (3, Insightful)

gbobeck (926553) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741875)

It just full of crap. ...
Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?


Here is a Myspace page kinda sorta maybe worth looking at... The Terms of Service Page [myspace.com] . After that, it is all down hill.

Not wanting to sound like a troll, but I would describe MySpace as being something similar to the AOL effect (the legendary propensity of America Online users to utter contentless postings) plus Geocities (free websites for the masses) being applied to blogs. Sure, it gives a lot of people the means to say something on the net, but unfortunately the noise to signal ratio is very high.

Re:MySpace (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741880)

www.myspace.com/blackstonecherry

Silly Human (1)

bky1701 (979071) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741887)

Thinking there is anything worth looking at on myspace.

Re:MySpace (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741926)

I've looked at MySpace but I just don't get it. It just full of crap. Perhaps I'm too old.

Can you think of anything that is popular with kids, that is not crap?

OK, call me a cynic and point out that I'm definitely too old. I went through high school back in the days when they taught kids how to read, write coherently, reason, and do math (to a level that nowadays is second-year college). Pre-school kids are probably pretty much the same as they always were, but the public school system seems to be largely a waste of their time.

About the song... (1, Offtopic)

Baloo Ursidae (29355) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741705)

Walmart Trys to Emulate MySpace

Since when is Wal*Mart good for getting laid [thepunkgroup.com] ?

omg ponies! (2, Funny)

Ohreally_factor (593551) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741900)

Baloo, I'm sending you a walmart friend invite. Keep in mind that we're should all register underage. Use a real secondary email address to be your "parent's address. Etc.

It's more of that viral marketing bullshit. (4, Interesting)

Hamster Lover (558288) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741725)

The website, content and contest are just a marketing campaign and a pathetic one at that. Kids "customize" their page and upload pictures and video (pending approval from the Walmart mandarins, of course). The entire exercise is directed at getting kids to shop for their fall back to school wardrobe at Wally World as opposed to Target, who apparently have the budget teen fashion market pretty much buttoned up (no pun intended). It's not a blog or even a blog with training wheels, but just a way for kids to yap to their friends about this "cool new web site" and act as shills for Walmart.

More details (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741744)

from the FAQ:

WHO'S BEHIND THIS GENIUS WEB DESTINATION?
    The guys from Wal-Mart and Sony® teamed up to bring you all the sweet stuff you'll find on the HUB!

'nuff said.

MySpace.com for the Bible belt (5, Funny)

bazmail (764941) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741746)

This is embarrassing. This is like the federal government starting a myspace rival.

reminds me of... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741758)

Reminds me of yub.com [yub.com] , which is a "social networking" shopping site started by Buy.com (get it? buy=yub) after the rise of Friendster. For some reason, it still exists...

Whats the point? (1)

dave1791 (315728) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741773)

Has Newscorp figured out a way to actually make money with MySpace yet? I recall reading about hair brained ideas like making movies, bands and other products into "friends". I just can't wait to add next month's big budget flick or label promoted band to my friends list.

Then again, I think I'm too old for MySpace.

Re:Whats the point? (1)

Ethan Allison (904983) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741793)

Ask the guys running the server farm (20 head) that manages Myspace ads. Maybe they'll have some sort of idea.

Re:Whats the point? (1)

Ohreally_factor (593551) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741907)

Ethan, I'm sending you a wallmart hub invite. Hope you'll join us. OMGZ PONIES!!!

wAOLmart (1)

bunhed (208100) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741783)

'nuff said.

Or is it the coolest site ever? (0, Offtopic)

kngofwrld (869403) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741804)

I'm going to join this site just to be ironic, dude.

Is this... (1)

siyavash (677724) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741812)

Stuff that matters ? For geeks ?

wtf.

An Idea (2, Insightful)

Drago Kith Somtaw (983110) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741856)

This is a really bad advertising ploy and a source of future labor for anyone who signs up. It is an interesting idea though, it would have worked better if they just created a seperate deparment/company to accomplish roughly the same goal, kind of what disney did with miramax. They could have just set up the site with all walmart advertisments. or just go buy the advertisments on myspace...or myspace itself. Corporate takeovers on the internet...

On the other hand, it could be worse.
They could have called the users: "Associates"
& the site: "The Wall"
 

What I See... (1)

NexFlamma (919608) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741871)

Ok, maybe this is just me, but I see this as a way for Walmart to try to reach out to the most sought after demographic, which just so happens to be the same demographic that Myspace caters to.

This demographic traditionally sees Walmart as an uncool place, but by setting up this website, they can, at best, change that image, and, at worst, get a ton of free focus group-like situations on which to base future brand ideas.

As much as I think this will tank horribly, it's a fantastic idea.

If this does become successful, however, watch for anti-hubster, anti-Walmart viral backlash on Myspace. Subversive, networked anti-advertisements are the wave of future.

sounds christian (0, Flamebait)

ajs318 (655362) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741879)

This just sounds totally christian! Notifying your parents?! Restricting you from contacting other people?! This site will go down like the name "The New Yardbirds"! If it doesn't fall down under the weight of its own stupidity, someone is bound to push it over. That, if it happens, will undoubtedly lead to moans of "evil hacker scumbags"; but the truth is, if you go out in a baggy suit with a squirty flower, a bright frizzy wig, a red nose and big flappy shoes, somebody's going to take you for a clown.

Proof positive (5, Insightful)

kataflok (836910) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741883)

Aside from the entertainment of the mockery Wally World so richly deserves, this is a pretty clear example of the level of desperation the idiot mainstream marketers are experiencing. They, like the failed entertainment retailers, are coming to realize that they can't control the world anymore.

So, they are trying to take on this runaway train we call the web. Trouble is, they have been stuck in their little castles for so long, they no longer get the new world that is. Because they do not get it, they attempt a cheesy imitation of such.

The stunning irony here is that they actually believed this rip off would be found credible and there was no one within their ranks who was able to tell them how idiotic they looked.

This isn't the loss of a battle -- this is a total loss of the war.

Probably not news but.. (1)

clickclickdrone (964164) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741921)

Did you know Walmart buys 10% of the entire output of China? 90% of Walmarts products come from China? Good for the balance of trade defecit, not.

Back on track, one wonders what the management structures must be like if a project gets this far without someone, somewhere in the Walmart behomoth saying 'umm, this is a really, really cheesy and embarassingly bad idea'.

Re:Probably not news but.. (1)

quokkapox (847798) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742034)

Back on track, one wonders what the management structures must be like if a project gets this far without someone, somewhere in the Walmart behomoth saying 'umm, this is a really, really cheesy and embarassingly bad idea'.

This is the challenge of the early 21st century in a nutshell: how do the people who actually have a clue take back control of the means of production and communication from the megacorporations and governments and reverse the otherwise inevitable train wreck of human civilization that we're currently living through.

You could... almost... write a mass-market book about it. But that would be selling out.

Reminds me (2, Interesting)

CaptainZapp (182233) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741936)

Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters'

Of the founder of a space opera ufo nut cult, alas Hubbard is written with a double 'b'.

Maybe Walmart just didn't want to get sued. [google.com] .

Fix that spelling right fucking now. (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15741943)

Speaking of MySpace, are we picking up on dogshit for education? 81 comments as of this post and the headline is still an eyesore.

Fix, editors, fix! Edit, editors, edit!

Oooh new playground (4, Funny)

NevarMore (248971) | more than 8 years ago | (#15741957)

Well, I've been out of the country and away from my friends for a few months.

I can't go egging houses, but tonight, yeeeess tonight we see what we can get past the censors at WalMart.

Will post updates here.

I should probably shave first.

Flatulating marketroids (1)

Crash Culligan (227354) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742002)

(What, you thought they think with their heads? Hah!)

I just went to Wal-Mart's main site [walmart.com] to look at this train-wreck of a marketing idea myself, and I couldn't see how to get to it.

Oh, incidentally, Amazon [amazon.com] called--they want their page layout back. Wal-Mart's gettin' it ugly.

It's not at thehub.com [thehub.com] ; that site looks almost cool from a business perspective. (Any meeting space that serves sandwiches gets a nod from me.)

Finally, I had to fall back on Google (!!!) to find what subdomain they tucked it into, and ...ack [walmart.com] . Unlike most train-wrecks, I could take my eyes off of it. I suppose it's a mercy that the "Hub" is buried that way; it won't suck in the gullible and stupid.

Mind you, this has given me a wonderful idea...

You guys are missing the point... (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 8 years ago | (#15742052)

Wal*Mart is simply doing this to gain valuable insight into the "popular" things teenagers think about. To do so is to "know your market," which in the ends gains them dollars. They don't give a damn about competing with MySpace - this is simply free focus group fodder. If they even get a few hundred users to post a few blog posts with useful marketing information, they'll be happy.

Marketing data is what they are looking for.

Front page video (2, Funny)

LS (57954) | more than 8 years ago | (#15742063)

I counted the number of times the girls said "cute" and "like" in that front page video. Here's the rough numbers:

cute: 11111111
like: 111111111111
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