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Stephen Hawking Looking for Assistant

samzenpus posted more than 7 years ago | from the update-your-resume dept.

215

An anonymous reader writes "Wanted: Bright graduate student to assist world-famous scientist. International travel, developing computer systems and dealing with the press required. Renowned astrophysicist and best-selling author Stephen Hawking has announced he is looking for a graduate student to work for him for one to two years. Dust off those CVs, kids!"

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215 comments

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Had to be said (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056485)

First post

Does it involve emptying bedpans? (5, Funny)

catbutt (469582) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056487)

(goodbye, karma! :)

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (5, Funny)

solevita (967690) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056513)

>One purpose of the job was to aid the professor in areas which he has difficulty due to his disability, the posting said.

Bedpans. And walking upstairs with a prof. over one shoulder.

I've submitted my CV.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (5, Informative)

megaditto (982598) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056654)

Should be noted that there are allegations that Dr. Hawking is into either spousal abuse roleplay. Last years there were pictures of injuries to Dr. Hawking consistent with the above practice, a police inquiry was initiated; to this, Dr. Hawking responded: "mind your own business".

Would the assistant be expected to participate in a practice such as this?

A side note: men with ALS are capable of eye control, sphincter control (they do not pee or shit themselves uncontrollably), as well as able to have erections and orgasms. Only motor neurons are affected while the full sensory input is retained.

Another side note: it is not definite that Dr. Hawking actually has ALS (as opposed to some other neurodegenerative disorder). He is the only known ALS patient known to survive for this long, and he has consistently refused any advanced ALS testing.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (3, Funny)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056734)

and.who.is.the.journal.of.quantum.medicine.going.t o.beleive?

ALS (5, Interesting)

jd (1658) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056839)

It's probably not going to be easy to diagnose at this stage - not only because it likely advanced far beyond the point 99.9% of sufferers would be tested, making any kind of direct comparison impossible, but also because he has survived so long, and we therefore have no data whatsoever on what ALS would look like at this point, and also because the disease has not progressed significantly for some time - it stopped and even reversed a very little at one point. Sure, you can study the existing damage, but without an active element, there would be nothing to test for.


Actually, it shouldn't be too hard to identify the illness, even from an armchair, for exactly the reasons I outlined. The number of neurologically degenerative diseases that actually spontaneously go into remission is not exactly high. That alone should eliminate the vast majority of ALS-like diseases to something much more manageable. We also have video footage from different stages. Horison did a documentary on Professor Hawking prior to him losing his speech to the trachea operation. We certainly have video footage of him since. Again, that should allow you to exclude certain possibilities. Finally, although a lot of his body has no motor control worth speaking of, his hands most evidently do as that is how he controls the chair and the voice synthesizer, although he's not exactly a speed demon on typing with it. His face also does - he doesn't lack the ability to show emotions.


Oh, that made me think of something else. Those are the same muscles he pushed the hardest from shortly before being diagnosed until he became a total invalid. He would swing on trees extensively, according to his mother in one documentary. It's suspected his heavy physical exercise regimen may have contributed to the disease slowing down and stopping later on in his life, but I believe it to be highly significant that the muscles he pushed the most suffered the least. Again, that can't possibly be characteristic of too many conditions.


From these well-documented and well-established facts, it should be easy to go through those conditions which Professor Hawking might have and discard those that simply don't behave in the way observed. (Or, to pull a Sherlock Holmes, reject the impossible and whatever is left - however improbable - must be correct. This doesn't work in practice for most things, but in this one case, there will be few enough possibilities that eliminating the impossible should be very doable indeed.)

Re:ALS (5, Interesting)

Lord Aurora (969557) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057129)

Or, to pull a Sherlock Holmes, reject the impossible and whatever is left - however improbable - must be correct.

Actually, that's technically pulling an Occam, as it's a variation on Occam's Razor [wikipedia.org] . Yeah, yeah, Holmes said it like that, but Occam's razor is generally thought to be the foundation for Holmes' theory. Er...Doyle's theory, as it were.

Re:ALS (5, Funny)

bigpat (158134) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057146)

Actually, that's technically pulling an Occam, as it's a variation on Occam's Razor [wikipedia.org]. Yeah, yeah, Holmes said it like that, but Occam's razor is generally thought to be the foundation for Holmes' theory. Er...Doyle's theory, as it were.

ya well... no shit, Shirlock.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (5, Informative)

Penguinshit (591885) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056888)

The "advanced testing" of ALS involves demonstrated upper and lower motor neuron damage with all other known causes (Lyme's, etc.) ruled out. Professor Hawking has already had "advanced testing".

I know, because I was diagnosed two years ago.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (-1, Redundant)

Penguinshit (591885) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056896)

The "advanced testing" of ALS involves demonstrated upper and lower motor neuron damage with all other known causes (Lyme's, etc.) ruled out. Professor Hawking has already had "advanced testing".

I know, because I was diagnosed two years ago.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056925)

So? |Then it might involve picking him up and shoving a pan under him, or picking him up and planting him on the pot.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (1)

mdwh2 (535323) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056961)

Should be noted that there are allegations that Dr. Hawking is into either spousal abuse roleplay. Last years there were pictures of injuries to Dr. Hawking consistent with the above practice, a police inquiry was initiated; to this, Dr. Hawking responded: "mind your own business".

I presume that was supposed to be "either spousal abuse or roleplay" ;) I heard these rumours too ... and yeah, if the latter, it should be mind your own business.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (1)

fm6 (162816) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056534)

This is Slashdot! Bad taste == Funny.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (1)

Morkalin (992168) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056600)

From the article:
One purpose of the job was to aid the professor in areas which he has difficulty due to his disability, the posting said.

Yep.

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (1)

slarshdot (211836) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056797)

From what i've heard with him and the chicks.
He'd be after someone with a double D average..

Re:Does it involve emptying bedpans? (4, Funny)

fireman sam (662213) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056917)

Assistant: Time to wipe your ass.
Hawking: I prefer to call it a Hawking hole.

You're Fired! (5, Funny)

TylerTheGreat (848804) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056488)

I can't wait to see NBC's new reality show, The Assistant starring Stephen Hawking. Now, that would be good television.

Re:You're Fired! (4, Funny)

Kesch (943326) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056502)

Wow, I just had a sound clip of Stephen Hawking saying "You are fired" pop into my head. I don't know how it sounds in the real world but in my own personal world it's hilarious.

Re:You're Fired! (5, Funny)

Stormwatch (703920) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056585)

I guess it would sound like his singing. [newgrounds.com]

Re:You're Fired! (2, Interesting)

AuMatar (183847) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056630)

Don't be dissin da MC/a. [mchawking.com]

Re:You're Fired! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16057060)

dude, this is easily done on macintosh.

> say "you are fired"

Fired or fried? (2, Funny)

jd (1658) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056853)

The guy studies supernovae and black holes, and probably has user accounts on every particle accelerator out there - you think he'd lower himself to just firing someone?

Dear Stephen (5, Funny)

Mancat (831487) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056489)

I don't know anything about physics but dude, I will get you laid. And you're probably all like, "but I'm paralyzed." Dude, you don't even know. The bitches I know don't give a fuck. I'm tellin' you man they're crazy!

Hope to hear back from you!

Re:Dear Stephen (1)

Yusaku Godai (546058) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056596)

I don't think he needs you to help him get laid. Hasn't he had like three wives?

I remember once reading an interview with him, in which it was mentioned that one of the first things he always likes to show visitors is the picture of himself with Marilyn Monroe.

Re:Dear Stephen (5, Funny)

BrokenHalo (565198) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057075)

Hasn't he had like three wives?

Which just goes to show he's not as smart as we thought... ;-)

*ducks flying crockery*

Re:Dear Stephen (5, Funny)

BobNET (119675) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056598)

The bitches I know don't give a fuck. I'm tellin' you man they're crazy!

But Stephen Hawking himself is Crazy As Fuck [mchawking.com] !

Straight out of Oxford a crazy motherfucker named Hawking.
When I be rocking the mic you be gawking,
at me 'cause I'm a bad mama-jamma,
you wanna lock me up put my ass in the slamma.
But fuck that shit 'cause no jail can hold me,
you can't even catch me much less control me.
So if you see me coming you better duck,
'cause Stephen Hawking is crazy as fuck.

Aspirin for Mensa members. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056494)

"Wanted: Bright graduate student to assist world-famous scientist. International travel, developing computer systems and dealing with the press required.

*sniff*
Mommmeeee!

a la family guy (-1, Offtopic)

notoriousE (723905) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056495)

boom shaka laka laka laka boom shaka laka laka laka

The Apprentice (5, Funny)

TheOtherKiwi (743507) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056506)

He should run a TV show to find his next apprentice...oh, whoops.

Re:The Apprentice (1)

antdude (79039) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056788)

Stephen Hawk could hire Carolyn Kepcher who was fired by his boss, Donald Trump last week. [grin]

Yes, but... (5, Funny)

abes (82351) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056532)

the chances of getting the job are astronomically low. Besides, you're thesis will probably just get black-holed. Perhaps it's worth getting the position still, for all the star-power?

Sorry, couldn't resist. I understand if you have to mod me down.

Re:Yes, but... (1)

gkwok (773963) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056628)

The gravity of your post should help with that massive modding "down."

Re:Yes, but... (3, Funny)

houghi (78078) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056766)

You're thesis? You're Merican, right?

Re:Yes, but... (1)

YrWrstNtmr (564987) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056868)

Let's just say you don't have much of a chance getting the job.

Re:Yes, but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056982)

Yes, but whoever he chooses just made their career with this big bang!

Re:Yes, but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16057106)

Surely you mean Hawking-holed.

Looking for what?? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056542)

My firefox tabs loads: Stephen Hawking Looking for Ass...

Re:Looking for what?? (1)

zefram cochrane (761180) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056612)

LMAO...that has got to be the funniest thing I've seen all day!! (Yes, my day has been rather boring...but that's what a grad student with their head in equations all day has to look forward to. =P )

Re:Looking for what?? (1)

iq in binary (305246) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056741)

Holy shit, he's not kidding!

That was hilarious. I'm still laughing.

Just goes to show, real comedy happens in real life.

Re:Looking for what?? (1)

rdoger6424 (879843) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057144)

That's not happening to me, however I am using the 2.0 beta [mozilla.org] , and each tab is closed individually, so although I can see where that is, I have the misfortune of not being able to actually witness it. ):

Re:Looking for what?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056988)

When I was working on my physics thesis in Cambridge, Steven Hawking had a very, very good looking nurse who took care of him. He ended up divorcing his wife and marrying the good looking nurse.

That was almost 20 years ago now, so perhaps your joke is not that far off the mark and he really is looking to pull the same trick again.

More power to him!

No way! I've heard... (1)

gardyloo (512791) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056548)

... those phone-sex recordings of him.

One to two years? (1)

couch_potato (623264) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056552)

Kind of a long commitment, especially considering that Hawking has ALS and could croak at any time -- the fact that he has been living with a disease that kills 95% of its sufferers within 5 years of diagnosis for 45 years vastly increases the chance of him dying at any moment.

Cool links. [blogspot.com]

Re:One to two years? (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056578)

Dude. The man *pulled a stingray barb* *out of his chest*. Wheelchair bound or not, he is the ultimate badass. 45 years is nothing, he's a scientologist.

Re:One to two years? (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056603)

Just like a lightbulb he could die at any moment, but if you model his predicted time of death with an exponential distribution, the fact that he survived 45 years supports the hypothesis that he has a large exponential distribution half-life, not a small one.

Re:One to two years? (0)

Thomas Henden (804134) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056701)

>Kind of a long commitment, especially considering that Hawking has ALS and could croak at any time -- the fact that he has been living with a disease that
>kills 95% of its sufferers within 5 years of diagnosis for 45 years vastly increases the chance of him dying at any moment.

A friend of mine, which now is an old man got myasthenia gravis [wikipedia.org] many years ago. This is a muscle weakening disease somewhat similar to ALS which originally was as bad as ALS - you gradually lost muscle control until you died. However, many years ago, they managed to come up with a medicine, which could keep the symptomes mild, and the doctors told you had to take the medication for the rest of your life. But it turned out that my friend eventually has gotten rid of his case of myasthenia gravis now for more than 25 years which probably is much longer than the typical temporary remission of the disease in some few cases, mentioned in the Wikipedia article.

Since Stephen Hawking is alive, (though not so well) so many years after he should have been dead, it tells us that Stehpen Hawking doesn't have a typical case of ALS. When I was a child, we also learned that HIV was an absolute disease, if you first got it, you couldn't get rid of it, and eventually you would develop AIDS and die. Again it turned out, that this was not so absolute either - scientists discovered that some people are immune [chinadaily.com.cn] to the HIV-virus. The more we learn about the nature, the more we see that things we thought were absolutes, really not are that, so I would trust that Stephen Hawking could live for even some more years. One would expect too - that he is given a top notch medical treatment to prevent him getting sick. For example, he is probably vaccinated against the flu, and also is given medication like Tamiflu or antibiotics when the threat of getting sick is enlarged, as lung diseases easily kills people who are extremely paralyzed.

So if you easily get the cough in the winter time, this is not the job for you!

Yeah, but go figure (3, Interesting)

PCM2 (4486) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057058)

Kind of a long commitment, especially considering that Hawking has ALS and could croak at any time
You've heard him talk. For TV interviews and the like, he usually has a number of preprogrammed responses for likely questions etc. An original response to a question takes a long time for him to cue up. So go figure how long it must take him to write and edit a book (for example). This assistant position is likely to be quite demanding, not the least of which requiring a lot of patience. One to two years sounds like a relatively brief time.

Re:Yeah, but go figure (1)

TheDugong (701481) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057154)

And with a brief history too! * boom tish *

Star Wars: Stephen Hawking style (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056568)

Graduate Student A: I can't. This matrix is too big
Stephen Hawking: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.



Stephen Hawking: Why wish you become physicist?
Graduate Student B: Well, mostly because of my father, I guess.
Stephen Hawking: Ahh, physicist. Powerful physicist was he. Powerful physicist.
Graduate Student B: How could you know my father? You don't even know who I am. Oh, I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!
Stephen Hawking: [Looking away from Graduate Student B] I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.
Albert Einstein: He will learn patience.
Stephen Hawking: Much anger in him... like his father.
Albert Einstein: Was I any different when you taught me?

Requirements (5, Funny)

eebra82 (907996) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056583)

I believe he left out a few requirements, so here they are.
  • You may not loop around me with a Segway. EVER.
  • You may not replace my speech tool with a southern state gay accent. It aggrevates me.
  • You may not stack pornography in "A Brief History of Time" and "The Universe in a Nutshell".
  • You may not answer my great question, "How can the human race survive the next hundred years" with anything related to Star Trek or Star Wars anecdotes.
  • You may not ask me to do a 360 with my vehicle.
  • You may not replace pawns with queens once they've reached the other end of the chess table.

Re:Requirements (2, Funny)

multipartmixed (163409) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056873)

> You may not replace pawns with queens once they've reached
> the other end of the chess table.

Assuming you could get pawns that far on Hawking... Why the fuck not?

Qualifications updated! (1)

daemonenwind (178848) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056592)

Applicants must provide their own Star Wars voice changer for use when addressing Mr. Hawking.

Re:Qualifications updated! (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056657)

Your dyslexia got that part backwards. "Applicants must provide their own Star Wars voice addresser when changing Mr. Hawking".

Not a student.. (5, Informative)

paxmaniac (988091) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056634)

The headline is a bit inaccurate.

If you read the advertisement, it seeks a "recent graduate", not a "graduate student". This is definitely a job, not a studentship. Do not expect to come out of it with a graduate degree. That aside, there are plenty of other reasons to see it as an appealing opportunity.

Re:Not a student.. (4, Insightful)

Mr. Roadkill (731328) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056683)

That aside, there are plenty of other reasons to see it as an appealing opportunity.
The biggest, and only one that really counts? He's Stephen Hawking.

Re:Not a student.. (4, Interesting)

archen (447353) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056996)

Well if you're going for a sort of academic career, then the next "level" I would think would be this sort of apprenticeship. Which would be pretty cool considering there are many people capable of getting a doctorate, but only one such opportunity to work for Stephen Hawking. I imagine that if you could land that job then your resume would only need one sentence. "Stephen Hawking picked ME to work for him".

I have poured hot grits down my pants. Thank you. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056659)

I have poured hot grits down my pants. Thank you.

Why isn't he dead yet? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056674)

Not to be insensitive, but ALS patients don't usually live as long as Mr. Hawking...

RIP, Pookie (1)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown (688108) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056696)

all you wannabe Hawk-stars, may wish to pause for reflection, on the ultimate fate [songmeanings.net] of the last shiny young assistant Stephen Hawking brought on board.


OTOH, one for one plus five's not such a bad deal...

add this caveat: (4, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056699)

no matter smart you are, everyone will immediately think of you as pinky in pinky and the brain [wikipedia.org] , as compared to your boss, so please have a healthy ego

Re:add this caveat: (1)

soft_guy (534437) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056787)

no matter smart you are, everyone will immediately think of you as pinky in pinky and the brain, as compared to your boss, so please have a healthy ego

Yeah, cause every time you meet someone with an assistant, some lame cartoon is the first thing that comes to mind.

Re:add this caveat: (1)

blugu64 (633729) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057083)

I either just heard your mom calling you home or the whoosh of a joke flying over your head

I thought he had a titanium exoskeleton... (4, Funny)

gatkinso (15975) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056707)

...and was currently battling some sort of trouble on the moon.

Re:I thought he had a titanium exoskeleton... (1)

stunt_penguin (906223) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056805)

Nope, that was Hitler [weebls-stuff.com] .....

Re:I thought he had a titanium exoskeleton... (1)

Andrew Kismet (955764) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056818)

You're thinking of Moon Hitler [weebls-stuff.com] .

Stellar oppurtunity for some lucky person (2, Interesting)

JavaManJim (946878) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056718)

Alas I am too old and creaky and the wrong discipline, computer science, myself to qualify for job. But what a chance! To actually live, rather than read, those books and concepts that Hawkings ponders. What a way to expand one's imagination. Then the quotidian tasks for a person of this intellectual stature would seem light.

My sincere and most envious congratulations to whomever gets this position,
Jim

Wanted: Personal nurse with PhD in Physics & P (1)

RKBA (622932) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056791)

"Then the quotidian tasks"

That's exactly what I was thinking, except for your use of the word "quotidian" which I don't think I've ever seen used in conversation before. Encountering new words is fun, especially when encountered "in the wild" so to speak. ;-) As far as "quotidian" tasks are concerned however, I'm sure it's just as unpleasant to change Professor Hawking's diapers as anyone else's.

Re:Stellar oppurtunity for some lucky person (1)

soft_guy (534437) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056800)

But what a chance! To actually live, rather than read, those books and concepts that Hawkings ponders. What a way to expand one's imagination.

All that from emptying bedpans?

Re:Stellar oppurtunity for some lucky person (2, Interesting)

JavaManJim (946878) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057018)

Bedpans and diapers. There is something to be learned even by emptying bedpans and wiping from diapers. Life is not all sweetness and light. Drudgery too offers dimensions to grow. Depends on what you think about when your mind is .0001% occupied. Even then, you are doing a good thing for that person and thus mankind.

Then for the other 99.9999%. For math things and my mind. I create a mental ball within my mind, a virtual brain if you will, and let that intuitively come back with my answer. One of my projects is that I am going back to make really sure I understand the language of basic math through integrals and thats how the answers return this time around.

Thanks for the replies and thoughts too. They spark ideas out there in SlashdotLand (oh no, a pun on Flatland. Forgive me.).

back to reading,
Jim

Re:Stellar oppurtunity for some lucky person (1)

Country_hacker (639557) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057125)

For math things and my mind. I create a mental ball within my mind, a virtual brain if you will, and let that intuitively come back with my answer.

You're not the TimeCube [timecube.com] guy, are you??? ;-)

MC Hawking (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056728)

I hope it includes going on tour with MC Hawking [mchawking.com] !

Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (5, Insightful)

Almost-Retired (637760) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056745)

And so far, in the 26 messages posted, I have detected damned little respect for the perservereance and intelligence of the man, who does after all, hold the Issac Newton Chair in Mathematics at Cambridge, no small feat by itself. To me that apparent lack of respect is most sad.

Here we have a man, who perhaps because of his disability, is giving his brain exersize that the rest of his body will never get, a man who has contributed much to our knowledge of the universe, and who may yet deduce the causitive reason for the accelleration we are seeing of distant objects before he passes.

As for his passing, I'd imagine that his health is monitored at least 10 times more diligently than any of us do for ourselves. That will see to it that the age related degenerative things are kept in check as best we know how to do. However, the real monitoring is more likely concentrated on the treatment of bedsores and that sort of thing, as well as maintaining his immune system as best we (the medical professions 'we') can. However, he has a resident rn to handle the bedpanish and bedsores sorts of things, so those duties would not normally fall to the assistant.

If I were 50 years younger, I'd kill for a chance at that job. Unforch, my experience level at 50 years ago wouldn't have allowed me to do what he needs done today. Without formal schooling, it does take a while to arrive at that point of having the knowledge needed.

--
Cheers, Gene

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (4, Insightful)

luder (923306) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056842)

Have you ever watched the two Simpsons episodes starring Stephen Hawking (They Saved Lisa's Brain [imdb.com] and Don't Fear the Roofer [imdb.com] )? If you didn't, then watch and you'll see that even him has no problem in joking about his own condition.

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1, Insightful)

Almost-Retired (637760) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056934)

That should never, ever be a carte blanche ticket to all the snipeing thats being done here, using off-color innuendo etc just in an attempt at seeming funny to the rest of the liliputian sized brains in this thread.

Oh wait, I forgot this IS /. where any sign of intelligence is quickly put to death in favor of yet another comment based on the plight of the geek who never gets laid...

Maybe I should leave, but I have this hope that occasionally, I might say something that might change a life for the better. Probably my mistake...

--
Cheers anyway, Gene

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16057067)

You Sir, Are A Fucking Idiot.

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1)

blugu64 (633729) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057109)

"Maybe I should leave, but I have this hope that occasionally, I might say something that might change a life for the better. Probably my mistake"

Got much of a god-complex do you? Please sir, change our lives for the better since you are so much more enlightened then the rest of us.

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1)

Assassin bug (835070) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056854)

Actually, it seems he doesn't need a graduate student--he needs a post-doctoral student (given the salary, if money=responsibility, and given the need to "deal with the press")!

Of course, I've been in graduate school for 10 years now!

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1, Interesting)

Almost-Retired (637760) | more than 7 years ago | (#16057047)

Chuckle, ten years in graduate school? One wag friend of mine once made the comment that he was a professional student sincve he was laying around for 2 years taking time filler classes until his future wife could graduate. It seemed to fit in that case, does it here?

Don't take me too serious, I could be jealous, of the people who do have that luxury, usually with daddy paying the bills. Me? I had a health problem that ran me out of school back in '48 or so, and I've been chaseing electrons and making them do usefull/entertaining/educational work since. And frankly, if I could replay it, there is only one thing I'd consider changing, and thats that my first wife had a stroke and died at age 34. She was a good woman...

I've had the pleasure of pure serendipity helping me out, having been at the right place, at the right time, to help do some interesting things, like being a bench tech at a smallish so-cal company that was building what was then the smallest tv camera around. So I had fingerprints on the innards of the tv cameras that were on the Trieste when it went down into the mohole back in the 60's. No cameras were there before, and no cameras have been there since, 37,000+ feet deep in the pacific, the deepest place in the worlds oceans. Was it fun? Damned betcha. Can others claim to have been there? Yes, about 10 people at that company, and an unknown number of sailors who were responsible for seeing to it the gondola of the Treiste didn't implode when the exterior pressure against that cast iron ball was up to around 18,000 psi. Since there were two small sailors in it at the time, it was probably sustained by all the praying.

There is more to this story, but its been related here at least twice already so I won't bore the old hands by repeating myself tonight.

--
Cheers, Gene

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1)

The Cydonian (603441) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056891)

That's correct; Slashdot has deftly changed from being a discussion of those metaphorical front-benchers, to bar-room banter from the backbenchers. Nerds have become bullies at roughly about the same time when geekdom became mainstream.

As for me, I came into this discussion trusting that the Slashdot hive mind will use its Google-fu and find the only link [slashdot.org] I'm really interested in. The rest is all hubris.

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (1)

MMC Monster (602931) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056969)

Well, you're talking about /. Respect for Stephen Hawking is a given in this crowd.

Re:Stephan Hawking needs respect too. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16057103)

"To me that apparent lack of respect is most sad."

Why should the average slashdotter respect him?

He didn't respect his wife nor the guy who built his speech synthesizer. He stole the guy's wife and left his own!

I bet you didn't know that.

P.S. He doesn't hold the "Issac [sic] Newton Chair in Mathematics". He holds the Lucasian chair. Newton used to hold the Lucasian chair. So did Charles Babbage.

You People Are All SICK! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056782)

- what the heck is happening with /. these days?

- is this what i have to expect from Katie Couric's new demographic?

Damn me and my not going to college (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056790)

I would LOVE for that opportunity. Hawking is my idol, he's a no bullshit scientist, with ideas so huge people form their ideas of the universe around his theories and observations. He's an amazing person.
I will be literally devistated when he dies.

Re:Damn me and my not going to college (1)

rumblin'rabbit (711865) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056997)

And he's been on The Simpsons. Don't get better than that.

CV? (1)

jo7hs2 (884069) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056828)

What is a cv?

Re:CV? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056864)

Curriculum vitae

The academic equivalent of a resume. It includes the same things as a normal resume plus papers you've written, talks you given, and similar things. It is typically much longer than a normal resume.

Re:CV? (1)

mdwh2 (535323) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056974)

The academic equivalent of a resume.

Actually in the UK it's used to mean any resume, academic or not.

Re:CV? (1)

dlenmn (145080) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056867)

A curriculum vita -- it's what academics call their resume.

Curriculum Vitae (4, Informative)

syukton (256348) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056887)

CV is short for Curriculum Vitae, which is what a Resumé is called in Europe.

$44,300 (1)

ktlewis02 (987315) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056832)

Damn what a cheap bitch

Uhh What's a CV? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056835)

thanks.. no idea.

missing requirement (3, Funny)

chez69 (135760) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056843)

must look really hot in lab coat

He's just lookin' for pussy. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16056875)

He's famous, he's not stupid, he's got significant sums of money and power. He's lookin' for pussy.

Can I use that sweet wheelchair? (1)

saleenS281 (859657) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056911)

Do we get dibs on the sweet wheelchair if he dies?

It's a really tough job to fill... (5, Insightful)

Cycnus (162186) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056919)

I've recently watched a BBC Horizon episode "The Hawking Paradox" (available on BT I believe) where you see him working with his current assistant, a young French mathematician, and you must admire the patience of Hawking and the people around him to actually get communication flowing.
Hawking's ability to use his clicker to pick-up words on his computer has deteriorated and making a sentence is a really tough job for him: you have to guess what he wants to say and watch his eyes for confirmation... it must be a maddening thing to know all that knowledge and all those ideas bottled up inside that brain that can barely communicate a few words a minute...

With all our technology, you'd think that we could do a better job of helping people with such crippling diseases to allow them communicate more fluently.

It's sad that this great mind may never be able to give us all it can, even if some of his ideas end up being wrong, there is still enough material there to make great advances in science.

Just remember... (4, Funny)

jayegirl (26328) | more than 7 years ago | (#16056963)

Just remember that if you get the job, the words "My daleks are supreme" are your cue to pull the plug.

I dont think so (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16057136)

I have a hard enough time wiping my own ass.
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