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330 comments

oh noes (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16303931)

Oh crap. Klingons!

Big deal (-1, Redundant)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303933)

So what? My doctor found it last week.

Re:Big deal (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304089)

A dark wpot on your anus could be cancerous.

Did I mispell Uranus ?

Re:Big deal (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304233)

Not sure, but is "wpot" not supposed to have two t's?

Dark Spot on Uranus? (5, Funny)

Kimos (859729) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303935)

Must... resist... bad... jokes...

Re:Dark Spot on Uranus? (1, Redundant)

tehcyder (746570) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304223)

Must... resist... bad... jokes...
Truly, a voice crying in the wilderness.

Re:Dark Spot on Uranus? (5, Insightful)

Lazerf4rt (969888) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304345)

I challenge anybody to post a +5 Insightful comment about this story. It can't be done!

Re:Dark Spot on Uranus? (5, Insightful)

strider44 (650833) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304579)

Don't worry, your post will get there. I admit I burst out laughing as soon as I read the headline but if you want something mildly insightful I might as well fill in something while I have the time.

Is it any surprise that there's a dark spot on Uranus? Jupiter has a couple of huge cyclones raging on in there, so does Saturn. Both the planet's black spots are bigger than Uranus' anyway. Uranus is a gas giant, since there's going to be some wind going on there I'm not exactly shocked that huge cyclones have formed.

Enormous cyclones I think are just a side-effect of gas giants. I don't think it's anything to get excited about.

Uranus is a gas giant... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304697)

and it has a dark spot... I wish I could say I am mature enough not to laugh, but I'm not.

Re:Dark Spot on Uranus? (1, Funny)

fatmacman (726739) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304595)

Let the rim shots begin!

In the future... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304665)

...there will be no jokes about Uranus, they will change the name of the planet to Urectum.

You've got to be kidding (-1, Redundant)

muellerr1 (868578) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303939)

Too...many....jokes...about...title...

Obligatory Post... (-1, Redundant)

Slagged (985600) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303949)

Why is it looking at my butt? Talk about invasion of privacy!

Dark spot on Uranus.. (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Howard (18288) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303951)

I would have thought some skin medication....

Never mind.

"Dark Spot on Uranus" (0, Offtopic)

joe_n_bloe (244407) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303955)

Holy Cow, Beavis and Butthead never had such a straight line.

Re: "Dark Spot on Uranus" (1, Insightful)

joe_n_bloe (244407) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304015)

OMG, what did that take, like 30 seconds?

Re:"Dark Spot on Uranus" (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304173)

they just exploded

Hehehe (1, Redundant)

coop247 (974899) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303959)

Dark spot on Uranus
Come on, its just too easy sometimes.

I see it.. (-1, Redundant)

3seas (184403) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303963)

...it's a tumor...

Oh wait... that's teh planet..

Re:I see it.. (1, Funny)

Rob T Firefly (844560) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304091)

Is not a tumor! </ahnold>

Too easy! (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16303967)

Oh, come on, headline writers - at least make us work for it!

Sounds like it was pointed at my cat (-1, Offtopic)

Fizzlewhiff (256410) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303969)

He has all kinds of problems with spots on his anus.

oblig. (2, Funny)

Kreigaffe (765218) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303973)

Insert butt joke [here]

(insert insert joke [here])

any way to forecast this? (5, Funny)

jeffs72 (711141) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303977)

"forming a dark vortex large enough to engulf two-thirds of the United States."

I'd like to know when this will happen so I can move to, say, Canada.

Re:any way to forecast this? (-1, Flamebait)

Psiren (6145) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304143)

The rest of the world would like to know too, so we can have some appropriate form of celebration... :)

Re:any way to forecast this? (0, Offtopic)

LaughingCoder (914424) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304377)

The rest of the world would like to know too, so we can have some appropriate form of celebration
Nice. You know you'll miss "US" when we're gone. Who is going to buy all your products?

Re:any way to forecast this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304775)

Who is going to buy all your products?

Who cares? We'll be too enthustiastic about the spontanious fuckfests in celebration of world peace to care about economics.

Re:any way to forecast this? (3, Funny)

diamondsw (685967) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304593)

"forming a dark vortex large enough to engulf two-thirds of the United States."
I'd like to know when this will happen so I can move to, say, Canada.


I'd get a move on, since it's already engulfed 50% of the US as of 2004...

Terrorists! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16303979)

>>forming a dark vortex large enough to engulf two-thirds of the United States

We can't allow the dark vortex to engulf America. We must freedomize Uranus or the dark vortex terrorists will win.

Re:Terrorists! (4, Funny)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304243)

Protip: If the terr'ists learn how to cast "dark vortex" and "magic missile," they win. Hands down.

Re:Terrorists! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304483)

Why do the Klingons hate America?

OMG (2, Funny)

turnipsatemybaby (648996) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303981)

They've found Klingons on Uranus!

Re:OMG (1, Redundant)

n2art2 (945661) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304487)

reminds me of a favorite joke. . .

What does Captin Kirk and toliet paper have in common???

They both circle Urans in search of Klingons.

White gloves (0, Redundant)

TheGreatOrangePeel (618581) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303983)

Haha. Uranus has a polyp.

Not news (0)

MECC (8478) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303987)

"Hubble Discovers Dark Spot on Uranus"

That's not news.

"a dark vortex large enough to engulf two-thirds of the United States" Oh yeah? Well Yo' mamma...

Re:Not news (0, Troll)

gEvil (beta) (945888) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304029)

Hey now, leave Goatse out of this...

Good Thing we caught it now... (-1, Redundant)

rubberbando (784342) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303991)

Good thing we caught those space pallops on Uranus before they develop into space cancer.. :-P

Obligatory B&B reference. (-1, Redundant)

Chas (5144) | more than 7 years ago | (#16303993)

(Beavis) HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
(Butthead) Huh huh huh huh. He's lookin' at your anus Beavis...
(Beavis) SHUT UP BUTTHEAD!

the possiblities are endless (0, Offtopic)

anti-human 1 (911677) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304011)

I can't decide wether to go with an asinine comment about FEMA, or something off-color about colon cancer.

You're right. "Uranus" jokes are terribly overused.

--so--

Hey, I wonder if FEMA will fuck this one up too?

Another Futurama reference... (1)

celardore (844933) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304043)

You're right. "Uranus" jokes are terribly overused.

We renamed that planet centuries ago to stop all the silly jokes.
What did you call it?
Urectum.

Phew! (1)

dbolger (161340) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304021)

As long as my Plutons are ok!

In Related News.... (4, Funny)

w3weasel (656289) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304041)

Due to the decades of jokes involving the name of this planet, and in light of the fact that a change in pronunciation during the 80's did nothing to curb the lowbrow humor, the same panel of scientists who removed Pluto from our solar system, have deciced to rename Uranus. Henceforth, this planet shall be referred to as Urectum.

BTW... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304071)

The parent is the obiligitory Futureama quote.

Re:In Related News.... (0)

TrebleJunkie (208060) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304557)


  Urectum?!?! Shit, you damn near killed 'um!

In related news... (0, Redundant)

Hollyfeld (959273) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304079)

Astronomers will hold a conference to name the vortex - current frontruners include dirty penny and brown starfish.....

Dark spot on Uranus (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304081)

Damn; I've got to get that looked at.

it's still called uranus? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304117)

I thought they changed the name to urectum to put an end to these jokes once and for all!

Hurricane season (1, Offtopic)

OakDragon (885217) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304123)

A little off-topic, but since the posting does mention it...

Just as we near the end of the hurricane season in the Atlantic Ocean

The National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration still has this headline on their front page:

NOAA Continues to Predict Above-normal Hurricane Season [noaa.gov]

So what kind of hurricane season have we had?

  • Tropical Storm Alberto
  • Tropical Storm Beryl
  • Tropical Storm Chris
  • Tropical Storm Debby
  • Hurricane Ernesto
  • Hurricane Florence
  • Hurricane Gordon
  • Hurricane Helene
  • Hurricane Isaac

Four named storms and 5 hurricanes. Not shabby, but way short of the (revised, even ) forecast: 12 to 15 named storms, 7-9 hurricanes, and 3-4 major hurricanes.

And thank goodness they were so wrong. Some of those hurricanes were pretty stiff, but fortunately none made landfall.

Re:Hurricane season (2, Insightful)

stupidfoo (836212) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304261)

Clearly, global warming is causing this lack of hurricanes and major storms.

Why not? It gets blamed for everything else.

Re:Hurricane season (4, Funny)

ronanbear (924575) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304769)

The pirates are working, praise be to his noodly appendage!

Re:Hurricane season (1)

UbuntuDupe (970646) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304307)

It's alright though, if one year there aren't many hurricanes, we can just delete it from the evidence when proving that ExxonMobil is causing natural disasters.

Re:Hurricane season (1)

Raistlin77 (754120) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304383)

Last I checked, hurricanes were named storms.

Re:Hurricane season (1)

OakDragon (885217) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304565)

Oops, sorry. You are correct, of course. It should be pointed out, in the spirit of your correction, that the 12 to 15 named storms include the hurricanes & major hurricanes. I know that's obvious to most, but...

Keep The Bad Jokes Coming, Folks (1, Funny)

ettlz (639203) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304125)

Let's send up some bog roll on a rocket.

We're going for the fucking record here!

ob (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304133)

Fry: Did you build the Smelloscope?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No, I remembered that I'd built one last year. Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.

Fry: Smells like strawberries.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Exactly. And now, now Saturn.

Fry: Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great... hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.

Leela: I don't get it.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

Fry: Oh. What's it called now?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.

was there ever a topic (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304135)

which deserved a goatse more than this? Dark vortex indeed.

ATTN: Art designers - GOATSE Uranus (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304219)

Let's do something useful with this thread. Post your best GOATSE'd Uranus-with-a-dark-spot artwork.

Heck, maybe we can turn it into a poll.

Damn global warming! (1)

chocho99 (552877) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304147)

Oh wait...

Found a what on the what now? (5, Funny)

0xdeadbeef (28836) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304163)

Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

Fry: Oh. What's it called now?

Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.

i recommend anal bleaching then (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304169)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_bleaching [wikipedia.org] that should do the trick!

well... (3, Funny)

jimstapleton (999106) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304197)

I guess it didn't loosten it's asteroid belt fast enough when it got to the big dipper...

Please lay off the Uranus jokes (5, Funny)

theskipper (461997) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304207)

It just makes you look desperate for a +5 funny.

The poor planet has been the butt of far too many attempts at humor.

Re:Please lay off the Uranus jokes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304299)

Absolutely. You're reaching to the bottom of the barrel with such jokes.

Re:Please lay off the Uranus jokes (5, Funny)

Stupidfat (1009173) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304427)

Hopefully we can get past all this and everything will come out alright in the end.

Oh noes (0, Redundant)

glowingsnowball (973747) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304209)

Fry: Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great... hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. Leela: I don't get it. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all. Fry: Oh. What's it called now? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.

Planetary dingleberries? (1)

frodo527 (614767) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304229)

Planetary dingleberries?

hurricane in uranus (2, Funny)

somersault (912633) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304231)

now that's a bad case of wind..

this coming mere days before (1, Redundant)

jimstapleton (999106) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304241)

attempting to cover the problem of the jokes about the name "Uranus" by renaming the planet to "Urknickers"...

Obvious suspect. (0, Offtopic)

PHAEDRU5 (213667) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304253)

Global warming. Right?

In related news... (0, Offtopic)

Billosaur (927319) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304333)

...the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA have announced they will be sending aid to Uranus as quickly as possible, though there are already calls for an investigation into the slow government response, since the image in question came at the end of August.

Re:In related news... (1)

Nimey (114278) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304445)

ObJoke: Why don't Congressmen use bookmarks?

Because they prefer their pages bent over.

NASA Can Fix it with this? (1)

dthomas731 (761616) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304337)

Send a space shuttle full of this [southbeach...utions.com] . That should take care of it.

I got moderator points and then *this* showed up (0, Offtopic)

mykepredko (40154) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304349)

So, I went and used them on the 10 geek wallets article.

myke

star trek joke (0, Redundant)

scharkalvin (72228) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304385)

"How is the USS Enterprise like a roll of toilet paper?"

"They both go round Uranus looking for Klingons"

Bad rectal jokes aside... (1)

Beefslaya (832030) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304415)

I'm totally amazed by the photos take with the Hubble. (I've had several desktops with them :) )

Wasn't the Hubble "injured" last week?

I can't wait for the next telescope, especially with all the latest digital photo advances.

Hubble is a success, no matter how many times it breaks.

So what if it has to take naps between shots?

Good Heavens... (0, Offtopic)

certain death (947081) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304419)

I have been sitting here for about 20 minutes trying to come up with something serious to say about this...I give up!!!!!!!!!!!! Once you have read all the comments with the jokes, it is impossible to think of anything else...must be some kinda mind control.

Re:Good Heavens... (1)

Ant P. (974313) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304691)

It's called "groupthink".

Be ashamed, be very ashamed (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304425)

Didn't Urmama taught you to wipe?

in other news.. (4, Funny)

mottie (807927) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304429)

One camp of scientists believe the dark spot is raised in elevation and are thus vying to name it "the turtlehead" whereas another group believes that it is actually a hole, and is fighting to name the spot "puckered starfish". More to follow.

Hubble Discovers Dark Spot on Uranus (1)

Rik Sweeney (471717) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304457)

Too many jokes...

Head explodes

Wiping Action (0, Offtopic)

RedneckJack (934223) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304475)

Need TP for bunghole, heh, heh, heh, heh (thinking of Beavis laugh from Beavis & Butthead)

Dark spot on... (-1, Redundant)

HikingStick (878216) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304489)

Wait a minute...my doctor's name isn't Hubble...

A dark spot... (0, Redundant)

MrNaz (730548) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304499)

...on my what?

Re:A dark spot... (2, Insightful)

MrNaz (730548) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304543)

Dammit I should have read the other posts first. Scratch that, I really should have PREDICTED the other posts and not made a joke that was bound to have been made once for every meter between here and Uranus.

Tee hee!

Only Two Thirds? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304507)

Two thirds of the United States is already engulfed by its own anus.

Dark spot on Uranus (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304567)

CmdrTaco is going to send his Cassini probe to explore the dark spot on Hisanus.

He will do a biopsy on it.

I saw the topic.... (1, Funny)

Churla (936633) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304571)

And I knew.. there would not be ONE serious discussion on the topic. People asking for a cessation of rectal humor are basically.. well.. fartin in the wind.

Long Live Doodoo (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304589)

These responses serve as comfortable reminder that toilet humor will always have it's place, even among the intellectual elite of the /. readership.

dark spot news... (1)

Sfing_ter (99478) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304617)

if only the universe had been taught to wipe...

In other news, noxious gases found emanating from dark spot on uranus... news at 11.

In more other news, Wyeth Pharmecuticals reports triple earnings for this quarter after getting contract with US Gov for giant tube of Preperation-H...

ahem... must stop, but the jokes KEEP HAPPENING!!!!

A dark spot that covers 2/3's of the USA? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304643)

Mexicans?

I'll bet anyone $10... (1)

Diordna (815458) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304649)

that Ze Frank is going to cover this today under "Dirty Space News."

Typical slashdot (1)

Pao|o (92817) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304669)

This is such a shitty topic

The end of another RECORD BREAKING.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16304675)

hurricane season caused by GLOBAL WARMING and- what? It was a very mild season? Oops. Ummm... Ah! Don't you see? GLOBAL WARMING suppressed the hurricane activity! If you disagree with me, you are evil and hate kittens!

On a more serious note (1)

noigmn (929935) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304689)

On a more serious note there is a dark spot somewhere near the pole in Uranus which is creating a dark vortex large enough to engulf two-thirds of the United States. Should we be worried. And is this any danger to the planet?

Who would've thought... (1)

helfom (932199) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304695)

Who would've thought that mooning the HST would be news worthy?

wtf how did this get slashdotted? (1)

halgorithm (642507) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304703)

C'mon people - this was on Fark A WEEK ago...

Slashdot used to be cool, but now full of bumbling idiots that think their oh so funny with their fart and butt jokes. Keep it up; makes me looks smrt.

Re:wtf how did this get slashdotted? (1)

KillerBob (217953) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304759)

This was on my Hubble Site block at the upper-right corner of my Slashdot page 2 weeks ago.... Really on the ball on this one. Truly.

Yup, definately my anus (1)

gatkinso (15975) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304747)

easily could engulf the US AND Canada.

That's no moon! (1)

stinkyweezelteets (882933) | more than 7 years ago | (#16304777)

At least it wasn't an ass joke.
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