Beta

Slashdot: News for Nerds

×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

The 20 Worst Games Ever

Zonk posted more than 7 years ago | from the for-real dept.

218

EGM's Seanbaby has a 'director's cut' of a list of the top 20 worst videogames, a list published in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly earlier this year. While some top lists may claim authority, this one is the real deal: these games are utter crap. From the article: "#10: Revolution X (SNES) This game is biblically horrific. You're overthrowing an oppressive world order. With Aerosmith. And music is your weapon. That scream of terror you just heard was probably you. Using your weapon, music, you'll fight a massive army of soldiers sent by the government to keep you from rocking. And since the artists were lazy, the army is made up entirely of a man in a yellow jacket and his several thousand identical twins."

cancel ×

218 comments

Plumbers don't wear ties? (5, Interesting)

Gord (23773) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535118)

What about the infamous 'Plumbers don't wear ties?'. I remeber this scoring 4% in PC Format (UK) about 10 years ago and holding the title of 'Worst Rating' for many a year, it may even still do so. ..

Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (4, Interesting)

Sigma 7 (266129) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535262)

There's also "J-Space for Windows". The only instance I heard about it was in a small book listing cheats for ~101 PC games in circulation at the time.

The tip for that game was don't buy it, since it got 4% -- PC Format's lowest ever rating. Other than that single comment, it seems as if the game disappeared from the face of the Earth. I have no idea why it was bad, since that comment didn't really cite when it was reviewed.

Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (3, Interesting)

Tony Hoyle (11698) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536312)

I used to be a part time reviewer, and I got sent a game that was so appalling I've never seen anything so bad since - it had jerky 2d motion and after I basically gave up on it found out that there was no quit - the only way to exit the game was to pull the power switch!

Damned if I can remember its name.. I've blocked it out. Gave it a negative percentage at the time...

Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (5, Funny)

shreevatsa (845645) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535622)

OTOH, my nomination "most awesome game ever" goes to Desert Bus [wikipedia.org] from Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors game package (it never made it big, surprisingly). The game was an answer to the Jack Thompson-types. Quoting from various sources [gamesetwatch.com] :
'Desert Bus' was a game we thought would really appeal to people who didn't like unrealistic games, and didn't like violence in their games. It was just like real, loving life.

The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other cars on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it's impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point: the counter - which was five zeros - went to 1.

It's available as a torrent [waxy.org] ; feel free to wallow in its awesomeness!

Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (4, Informative)

Pluvius (734915) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536676)

Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors game package (it never made it big, surprisingly).

That's probably because it was never released commercially.

Rob

Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (3, Funny)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536752)

That sounds as fun as some of Videlectrix's offerings.

Extreme PaintBrawl (4, Informative)

ESqVIP (782999) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537456)

Another possible missing game is Extreme PaintBrawl [ign.com] ; as far as I know, it got the lowest rating [ign.com] ever on IGN in 1998 (0.7 out of 10) and since then has never been topped (uhm, "topped" doesn't seem the right word for such games...).

911TS (1)

6031769 (829845) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535152)

I am deeply disappointed that Elite's landmark "911TS" did not make this list. For a review, see the last piece on this page [f9.co.uk] , with accompanying glorious screenshot. I'd be interested to learn of a less innovative game.

Re:911TS (1)

dylan_- (1661) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535560)

Well, there was always Shanghai Karate which did what Way of the Exploding Fist, Way of the Tiger, etc. had done, just much, much worse.

Worst game I can remember playing though was Grid Iron [worldofspectrum.org] . The thing that isn't even mentioned in that review is how buggy the whole thing was (presumably they didn't play it long enough to notice). You'd start off playing as the Chicago Bears and 10 games down the line you were coaching the Chicano Berts. Oh, and since it can be difficult to remember what were good or bad graphics, Super Hang On [worldofspectrum.org] was reviewed that same issue. Compare and contrast...

Re:911TS (1)

Jonathan (5011) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536400)

911TS does sound awful. But considering the same set of 1985 reviews trashed Archon, generally considered one of the best games of all time, I have to wonder.

Re:911TS (1)

cyber-vandal (148830) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536638)

Thank you very much for making me feel really really old and also for leading me to play Knight Tyme again. What an excellent game that was and still is :)

You're Winner! (5, Interesting)

stinerman (812158) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535174)

#1 has to be Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing [wikipedia.org] .

Also, check out #9, Custer's Revenge [seanbaby.com] , for some hot pr0n. Wow, were they ahead of their time or what?

Re:You're Winner! (3, Funny)

iamhassi (659463) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537512)

"check out #9, Custer's Revenge, for some hot pr0n."

WHOA! Ook now that's going to far, Custer's Revenge actually was a good game, if only for the hot indian princess sex action reward!

Can anyone think of any console game where you get to have sex with a Indian Princess after rescuing her? Anyone? How about getting to have sex with any hot girl after rescuing her?

You have no idea how disappointing super mario brothers was after seeing Custer's Revenge. Race across one screen in Custer's Revenge and you get laid, play 9 levels in SMB and you still don't get any princess sex!

Girlfriend walks in while i'm reading the review and says "Custer's Revenge. I've played that, you get to rape indian women and shit. That's a f**ked up little game." I couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Re:You're Winner! (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537584)

He only included console games. BR: OtRR is a PC game, even though it makes those console games look like fucking Half-Life 2.

yay for old news (5, Informative)

floatingtrem (985721) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535178)

this might have been interesting if i hadn't read this, oh i dunno, 6 or 7 years ago when this article was published.

Hey, didn't you read the title? (2, Funny)

Colin Smith (2679) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535326)

It's "The 20 Worst Games Ever."

Re:Hey, didn't you read the title? (1)

floatingtrem (985721) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535444)

i'm not saying the games are old, just the article.

Re:Hey, didn't you read the title? (2, Interesting)

Tim C (15259) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535752)

Perhaps some even worse games have been released since, if it's that old...

Re:yay for old news (1)

Himring (646324) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535722)

It's so old, it doesn't even mention diakatahna -- well, that or the fact that it's the 20 worsst SNES game.... Which is, yet, more evidence of how old it is....

Re:yay for old news (2, Insightful)

Blakey Rat (99501) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537182)

Diakatana isn't THAT bad a game. Honestly, I've played much worse than just didn't happen to get the publicity... even picking a FPS that came out around the same time, IronStorm (I think was the name) was a total piece of crap. If you expand to RPGs, "Wizards and Warriors" came out in like 2001 without the capability of running in Windows 2000 and no 3D acceleration support at all. (And yes, it was a 3D game.) It was also buggy as crap... I think I got about halfway through before getting stopped by a huge game-ending bug.

Just not funny (2, Insightful)

MicrosoftRepresentit (1002310) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535728)

It might also have been more readable if Seanbaby wasn't a complete cretin. Look at me complain using all the grown up swear words I know! Look at the completely unfunny and desperately strained metaphors I conjure up! Look how I write with scathing, biting cynicism! No you don't, you're an unfunny twat who sounds like a twelve year old completely failing to emulate the Filthy Critic.

Re:Just not funny (1)

xwizbt (513040) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535950)

I can't help but agree wholeheartedly. It also would help if Mr Baby did a proof-read before he published things on his website. There are so many mangled sentences in there that it's no wonder the editors of the magazine he submitted it to snipped out massive portions and replaced various parts. I gave up after the third game; it's not funny, and it certainly isn't big or clever, either. Waste of ten minutes good reading time, if you ask me.

Re:Just not funny (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16536628)

The articles were idiotic and painfully contrived. I couldn't agree with you more. The 20 worst Nintendo games articles are even worse. How many times do we have to be told what the player can do with the cartridge?

Re:Just not funny (1)

Broken scope (973885) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537622)

Oh good, I'm not the only person who thinks he is a complete fool.

Old/10 (4, Informative)

Kyokugenryu (817869) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535186)

I think I still have this issue of EGM, from, oh, 2003 or so? How is this on the front page?

The list (0, Redundant)

darkitecture (627408) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535190)

Bypass the link:

20: Extreme Sports With the Berenstein Bears
19: Bible Adventures
18: Kriss Kross: Make My Video
17: Bubsy 3D
16: Bad Street Brawler
15: Total Recall
14: Rapjam Volume One
13: AIRCARS
12: Night Trap
11: Heroes of the Lance
10: Revolution X
9: Custer's Revenge
8: White Men Can't Jump
7: Superman 64
6: Legend of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon
5: Virtuoso
4: Captain Novolin
3: Fight For Life
2: Club Drive
1: E.T. The Extraterrestrial

Re:The list (5, Insightful)

bazmail (764941) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535266)

You retard, The whole point of the article is not to produce a definitive list, but to entertain.

You have failed.

Re:The list (1)

statusbar (314703) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536680)

Entertain? It was non-informative and insulting - All it contained beyond the list was 'this game sucks, the gameplay sucks and the graphics suck' without backing it up with anything besides the most rudimentary details.

With this new slashdot moderation system, how do I mark this entire article as "-1, dumb"??

--jeffk++

Re:The list (4, Insightful)

suv4x4 (956391) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535278)

Bypass the link:

20: Extreme Sports With the Berenstein Bears
19: Bible Adventures
18: Kriss Kross: Make My Video
17: Bubsy 3D ...


Good way to get some karma, but the point of the article is that it's funny to read. The list is totally not interesing, as the games were chosen and ordered apparently randomly (you could say they're just 20 terrible games of probably a thousand terrible games).

Re:The list (5, Funny)

Walt Dismal (534799) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535324)

You forgot Happy Fun Time Cheesegrater Testicle Assault, from Namco for the Atari, voted the most painful game of all time.

For obvious reasons, I believe no one ever got to the final level, which involved Mexican hot peppers and flesh-eating wolverines. Ahh, let's not go there after all. Those wacky Japanese game geniuses.

Re:The list (2, Funny)

lisaparratt (752068) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535828)

I dunno, that's sounds like my idea of fun >:>

Re:The list (3, Insightful)

donaldm (919619) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535494)

Never played any of them and never will.

I have have always said that a good game to some may be a crap game to another and vice versa. To really rate games you need to stick to groups (ie. FPS, RPG, platformer, adventure .... etc) and if the game is for the PC and/or console and not try to lump them all into one heap. Of course you end up with a book instead of a few pages and even then some people will disagree with you.

Like it or not sales can help better than someones comments, however when you are first or near first to market (I think "Night Trap" falls into this) then people will buy it even though they find out later it stinks and the company cries all the way to the bank. When this game came out the Internet was young and not many people had access to it so the only ratings for a game was to ask the retailer and you can imagine what they would say or wait till the monthly gaming magazine came out (assuming it rated the game). This does not happen as much now although for any purchase it still is "Caveat Emptor" (Latin for "Buyer Beware").

Still the article was light reading and was fairly humorous in its descriptions (condemnations) of the games.

The score (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16535526)

Bypass the karma whore....

Re:The list (3, Funny)

dr_dank (472072) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537130)

15: Total Recall

For those of you at work today, you might want to skip this one. Unless, of course, you don't mind your boss seeing the triple-breasted martian prostitute. Hell, it might make for interesting conversation during your annual review.

Next! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16535198)

Why the hell is this being posted - OLD NEWS! Next please...

Ultima 9: Ascension (5, Interesting)

owlman17 (871857) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535226)

Finally, an article on /. about a list of worst games, instead of the usual rehash of the "Top 5/10/20 best games of all time, etc ad nauseum" lists.

Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game. From the README file alone: "Be certain you empty your Recycle Bin before installing the game." Or : "We recommend that you not save the game while you're poisoned; this has been somewhat problematic in the current version."

Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

(Another game worth mentioning: Conquest Earth. Its not buggy but... hey, might as well have been.)

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (5, Insightful)

NexFlamma (919608) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535306)

To show you just how old this new story is, it was originally published on Seanbaby's site [seanbaby.com] before Ultima 9 came out, hence why it's not on the list.

Does it even qualify as news if it's that old?

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16535904)

To show you just how old this new story is, it was originally published on Seanbaby's site before Ultima 9 came out, hence why it's not on the list.


Jump, bitch. Jump!

Driver 3 (1)

Plutonite (999141) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535356)

Your suggestion here has nothing on "driv3r", which is like the worst game anybody or their mother will ever play.

I cannot begin to describe to you the state of crappiness in graphic design, gameplay and even sound that fill face the unlucky gamer in the first 5 minutes. It was so bad I turned off my PC after around 10 min, then switched it back on again out of my disbelief that anything could be this bad - I had to try it again to make sure.

Driver 3 is the king of shitty games, and developers will have to try very hard indeed to make something crap enough to come close on the list.

Re:Driver 3 (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537610)

What about this [wikipedia.org] ?

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (1)

snafu109 (852770) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535770)

We recommend that you not save the game while you're poisoned

Well obviously! You should be calling the poisons hotline so they can help you not die.

If only every game were so considerate in giving such practical advice.

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (2, Insightful)

Kjella (173770) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535782)

Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game (...) Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

Well, because there's hundreds if not thousands of games worse than Ultima IX. "Worst game" is silly because the worst games simply wouldn't spread very far - I haven't played a single game on their "bottom 20" list. What they're looking for is really "High-profile games that flopped miserably".

It's sort of the same as "best game" categories, I would place classics as "Dune 2" and "Civilization" on it, not because I think they're better than recent RTS or TBS games, but because they were so dominant back then (I might be showing my age here...)

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (2, Insightful)

Pharmboy (216950) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536290)

This is why I wish there was some kind of moderation that all users could do on stories published here. Not digg style (ugg... don't get me started...) but a way for users to tell the editors here that the story sucked and was a waste of time. I am amazed at some of garbage that has made the front page over the last month. It WAS getting better here, but now I wonder.

Something being "interesting" to one of the editors here is not the same as it being "news". I don't come here to read old, rehashed garbage from 1998. Well, I don't on PURPOSE.

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537654)

Tagging sometimes seems to work well--I often see 'troll', 'flamebait', 'slashvertizement'(God, I hate that word but it seems to be occurring less frequently, thank God), 'dupe', 'pigpile'(Roland), etc. on articles.

Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (3, Informative)

Pluvius (734915) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536740)

I hear that U9 is quite a bit more playable now than it was when it came out, especially if you include the fanmade patches.

Rob

Battlecruiser 3000AD (5, Interesting)

Ullteppe (953103) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535288)

How about Battlecruiser 3000AD? As to ET, there are actually worse 2600 games than this. Maybe not with the same historical significance, okay...

Re:Battlecruiser 3000AD (2, Interesting)

Fred_A (10934) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536520)

In defense (sortof) of BattleCruiser 3000, it seemed to be developped by a lone maniac with a fairly strong following and appeared to be fairly innovative since it covered all the aspects of futuristic combat, from space to ground.

OTOH, it did too much, didn't do it very well and I have to admit I never really managed to play it. However I would give it some points for the sheer magnitude of the effort. It was an impressive piece of work. Kind of unuseable but still impressive. Which is why I wouldn't put it in the worst. In the "most impressive attempts" maybe.

Re:Battlecruiser 3000AD (2, Informative)

skwang (174902) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537312)

I have to admit I never really managed to play it.

You're in luck. Derek Smart (the lone maniac developer) has released the old versions of the game for free on the game's Web page [3000ad.com] . A while back I downloaded BattleCruiser Millenium, the 2nd generation of the title. [BattleCruiser 3000 was the 1st.] I have to admit, it is impressive. The scope of the idea of the game: space cruiser combat, space fighter combat, and (FPS) ground combat is very ambitious. Unfortunately the gameplay is not very good and the game itself is unstable. It doesn't help that Derek denies that his games have any stability problems.

I recommend you try it out.

Re:Battlecruiser 3000AD (1)

Fred_A (10934) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537448)

Well, when I say I never really managed to play it, it's because I actually bought the thing in a store but never got around to learn the 4 329 656 230 commands, deal with the numerous crashes, with the rather odd developper and his cultists on the support forums. So while I did get a glimpse of the game, I never got around to actually play it (in other words, I chickened out).

I had more or less the same problems with a super realistic tank simulator (can't remember the name) a few years ago. I couldn't figure how to get it to display above VGA (as in 640x480) which didn't look all that great blown up on a 21" so I went to the support forum where I quickly found out that the (single) developer and his minions were waiting there with a number of arguments why VGA was fine, the game didn't crash for them, and that I was welcome to go back to playing Quake or whatever if I wasn't happy. It didn't take me long to decide that this was some fine advice...

Re:Battlecruiser 3000AD (1)

buffer-overflowed (588867) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537134)

la la Derek Smart fhtagn! Derek Smart fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Derek Smart internets wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Re:Battlecruiser 3000AD (1)

Blakey Rat (99501) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537200)

This list is like 6 years old. I don't think Seanbaby's even touched his website in 4 years or so. It predates Battlecruiser 3000. (From what I understand, the game wasn't THAT bad, it just had terrible controls that couldn't be configured.)

OLD (3, Insightful)

jb.hl.com (782137) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535350)

I propose we give Sunday on Slashdot a new name. Something like "We've run out of things to post, so here's some old stuff" day.

Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.

Re:OLD (2, Interesting)

gregmark (750089) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537158)

And yet, here you are, reading the crappy Sunday Slashdot. Sounds like you don't have anything better to do, so be glad that you found something provocative enough to entice you to post comments.

I had never seen this article until now, so I'm glad it was resurrected. It's new to me.

Re:OLD (3, Insightful)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537634)

Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.
This quote applies double to the people whining about Slashdot.

Akira & Red Faction 2 (1)

Tekoneiric (590239) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535380)

What Akira from the Amiga isn't on that list? It got horrible reviews. One of my personal hated games is Red Faction 2. The first was a great game but 2 was a total let down. What were they thinking by leaving out network play?

Re:Akira & Red Faction 2 (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537334)

I got Red Faction 2 bundled with a ValuSoft game for 5 Euros. The ValuSoft game was more fun to play. I think that adequately sums up my oppinion of the game. Though it's supposedly a bit better on the console because you can play it with multiple people on one screen (why isn't that option in the PC version?).

Censorship! (0)

Omicron32 (646469) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535392)

Obviously, most of the swearing that I left out or that was edited out of the print version has been put back in to better express how these fucking cunt ass games pissed me off.

The real fun is reading the reviews. (1)

ghastlygray (968662) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535402)

Top 10 lists are fun, but in the case of bad games the real fun is reading the reviews they get. I think it's somewhat of a tradition in game journalism that if a game is really bad, the reviewer gets to trash it as creatively as he/she can, unleashing at it all sorts of bizzare adjectives and puns. (I suppose this is to make people read a review about a game they already know they won't buy). Some movie reviews are that way too.

Here are a few highlights from Gamespot.
NeverEnd Genre: Role-Playing | Posted Oct 13, 2006 - got 3.3, bad
Thankfully, this RPG only feels like it never ends.
The Good: Once you get past the suffering, you'll have a lot of laughs (at the game's expense).
The Bad: Visuals straight out of a late-'90s golf game; unbalanced monster encounters; dated, ineffective turn-based combat engine; ludicrous dialogue and voice acting.
Alliance: Future Combat Genre: Sci-Fi Real-Time Strategy | Posted Oct 11, 2006, 2.3, terrible
Alliance: Future Combat is less a look at the future and more a history lesson on what not to do when making a real-time strategy game.
The Good: Some value as comic relief.
The Bad: Ridiculous plot with vague mission instructions and loads of grammatical errors; fog of war hides enemies until you stumble right into them; terrible pathfinding makes it virtually impossible to coordinate attacks; exit bug brings down windows on a regular basis.
Outlaw Chopper 2.4, terrible Jul 26, 2006
This god-awful Grand Theft Auto clone looks, sounds, and plays like it cost even less to make than it will cost you to buy it.
The Good: The uninstall client is fully functional.
The Bad: Awkward, poorly conceived combat mechanics that make some missions atrociously frustrating; your bike handles as if its tires have been dunked in crisco; terrible graphics; missions are consistently dull and half-baked in design; lack of a retry option or a halfway-decent map system makes missions even more frustrating.

Re:The real fun is reading the reviews. (2, Insightful)

Xian97 (714198) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536002)

In contrast, the review of Neverend at Just Adventure's website http://www.justadventure.com/reviews/Neverend/Neve rend.shtm [justadventure.com] rates it as an A-. I think many of the Gamespot reviewers are given games to review in genres that they don't like and it is hard to write an objective review. Gamespot in particular always seems to give adventure games a bad review with only 2 games in the genre getting a rating over 8 in the past few years, and not since Syberia in 2002 has there been a rating over 9.

I haven't played the game myself, but I just thought it a stark contrast that the site where people enjoy adventure games rates it very high and a site where the reviewers are more generalized pan it.

Re:The real fun is reading the reviews. (2, Informative)

Flyboy Connor (741764) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536792)

and not since Syberia in 2002 has there been a rating over 9.

And, having played Syberia, I can honestly say that as an adventure game it sucks donkeyballs. All puzzles are incredibly easy, except for one which is completely undoable. In itself this is not enough to invalidate the game, but the puzzles are virtually all ridiculously illogical. I mean, at one point in the game the main character cannot climb a certain ladder because there are birds sitting in front of it, and "she is afraid of birds". Now, instead of just stomping right through the birds, or throwing something at them, or making a loud noise, or just waiting until they fly away (which are all impossible), you have to go on a long, boring quest which goes all over the map, to get some birdseed or something so you can lure them away. The game is also dead slow, and the main character is unsympathetic and presented as being quite stupid. The only good thing about the game is that it looks absolutely stunning. Which is probably why Gamespot gave it such a high ranking. Visuals, you know.

Big Rigs (2, Interesting)

neonstz (79215) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535436)

I'm surprised Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing [gamespot.com] didn't make it to the list... :)

Big Rigs: YOU'RE WINNER! (5, Informative)

Poro (14468) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535442)

At least according to a race sim maniac like me, "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing" would be a good candidate for a more up to date version of the worst games ever list. Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] has some nice words about this quite extraordinary game.

Re:Big Rigs: YOU'RE WINNER! (1)

Khuffie (818093) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537306)

Is it odd that I feel like trying out this game now?

sold 200,000 copies (1)

edxwelch (600979) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537508)

but the most amazing thing of all that it was a commercial success and there were actually 200,000 people stupid enough to buy it

Bible Adventures! (5, Interesting)

binkzz (779594) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535464)

While I definitely played worse games (and better ones), I found it kind of pointless that he chooses to just rant about the Bible and his religious views instead of discussing the game.

Amen :) (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16536110)

My bro and I played that game back in the day. It wasn't that bad. Sure, there were a few bugs here and there, but it was definitely playable. Noah's Ark was the best, imo. I've seen far worse games. This one is probably on the list for religious reasons.

This list is awful (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16535720)

This list is one the worst I've read. The author just lists games out of his ass, and he is not even coherent with his previous list about "Worst 20 NES videogames", so you find that some NES videogames that scored less on that list scored more on this, and the supposedly worst (Deadly Towers) is missing on this list. What the...?

Suggestion: Avoid reading. Leave game trashing to professionals.

Digging up E.T. (5, Interesting)

Sippan (932861) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535812)

The funniset thing in that article was the sentence "So if you ever lose your mind and want a copy of E.T., or maybe five million, grab a shovel and drive out to the desert. They're free."

It's funny because you can't actually do it - Wikipedia: "Starting on September 27, 1983, a layer of concrete was poured on top of the crushed materials".

Crushed, buried, sealed in concrete. Now that is one bad video game.

Re:Digging up E.T. (5, Interesting)

frogstar_robot (926792) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536256)

Wintergreen made a video about the whole E.T. disposal debacle. It has nice touches like the 2600 E.T. running around the desert where his carts are buried. Funny stuff.

http://keithschofield.com/et/ [keithschofield.com]

Re:Digging up E.T. (1)

hansamurai (907719) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536642)

mod parent up!

That was an awesome video, I never thought they'd find the cartridges so easily.

Re:Digging up E.T. (1)

frogstar_robot (926792) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537246)

That was an awesome video, I never thought they'd find the cartridges so easily.

Actually the carts were supposedly crushed by bulldozers and buried in cement. So far as I know, nobody has ever tried to find and dig up the actual burial site. The 2600 Forum at Atariage.com has an infamous thread on the subject.

This info is rather stale (like the 2600) (4, Interesting)

christoofar (451967) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535910)

This list has been rather arbitrary, however the "official" list [wikipedia.org] can be found and edited on Wikipedia.

I agree on #1 though. I cannot forget how much ET sucked (and I was a little tyke around this time). I had JUST gotten exposed to the 2600 and the crappy Pac-Mac clone released for it when the console abruptly was shoved into the closet never to see the light of day again.

I did enjoy the Atari 400 my mother had bought for my older sibling. We would both play Zaxxon for hours on it, which required starting a rather chunky and heavy cassette tape machine which you connected to the 400. There was some cheesy elevator music with some marketing propoganda (you had to turn the volumn down to ignore it). After going to get a soda and cigarettes at the store for my brother, the game would be completely loaded into RAM and we'd spend a good part of the afternoon trying to top scores.

ET however managed to suck the life out of Atari and it destroyed the company. Had it not done that, NES would have had no void to fill.

In fact, the Atari caused so much damage to the video game market (and all the other cheap video game systems), that Nintendo had to market the first 8-bit consoles by showing only the Nintendo R.O.B. (remember that thing?) The ROB had a major suck factor, but it was such a cool gimmick that the "seperate console" it needed to play the game managed to suck in enough kids that eventually the ROB was discarded (within about 6 months after it released).

The ROB gimmick was quickly removed from the marketplace and the only boxes you could find where the standard console and the one with the Duck Hunt gun. The original issue had everything--the NES, the ROB and the gun with all those games! What a steal!

Re:This info is rather stale (like the 2600) (3, Informative)

gozar (39392) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535992)

I agree on #1 though. I cannot forget how much ET sucked (and I was a little tyke around this time). I had JUST gotten exposed to the 2600 and the crappy Pac-Mac clone released for it when the console abruptly was shoved into the closet never to see the light of day again.

I don't know why everyone hates E.T. much. I still dig it out from time to time to have ET put the transmitter together and phone home. People hate the pits... Here's a pointer for you, stay away from them! It's not like ET has any control issues, just keep him away from the pits.

E.T. follows the movie pretty well given the limitations of the 2600. You have ET, you have Elliot, and you have the bad guys trying to get ET.

Plus you get to revive a flower.

Re:This info is rather stale (like the 2600) (1)

kypper (446750) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537106)

I don't know why everyone hates E.T. much. I still dig it out from time to time to have ET put the transmitter together and phone home.

This is the saddest thing I have ever seen.

Thank God Someone Said It (1)

aplusjimages (939458) | more than 7 years ago | (#16535926)

I always thought me and my brothers just sucked at E.T. because we never got anywhere in the game. Come to find out it was the game and not us. I'm glad that took the number one position.

Re:Thank God Someone Said It (1)

gregmark (750089) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537264)

Indeed! I think a lot of the Slashdotters who are pishawing the author's selection of E.T. as the worst ever weren't old enough (or alive enough) to handle an Atari 2600 joystick in 1982 and thus, can't possibly understand what an intense downer this game was to the many thousands of children who spent hours trying to suck the faintest drop of enjoyment from its cold, dusty surface.

The hype leading up to the release of this game was intense. Like many kids my age (I was 8 or 9, I think), I begged my parents to get me a copy the moment it hit the shelves. I played it over and over again, not getting it, not liking it, hating those insipid pits with every ounce of my being. But my determination to beat it before any of my friends did overwhelmed the wretchedness of the gameplay and beat it I did -- more than once -- because I thought I had to, because I thought I wouldn't be cool, like the Fonz or the Poncherello, if I didn't.

So it's not just a matter of it being a bad game. It was a bad influence. It fed on the innocence and gentle curiosity of children... the very innocence that made them love E.T. in the fist place.

Re:Thank God Someone Said It (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16537492)

Sorry to say - you and your brother DID suck at E.T. The article discussed how difficult it was to get in and out of pits but what actually made the game blow was that it was too simple and you could win it within a hour of getting it.

Don't feel bad - my sisters had a hard time getting out of the pits too.

Death Crimson (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16536092)

How the fuck is Death Crimson not on that list?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L33wcSqjS0 [youtube.com]

As opposed to a horde of Agent Smith's? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16536360)

Does that mean "The Matrix" was lazy as well, with Agent Smith and his legion of clones?

Did he own stock in Atari? (1)

xhorder (232326) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536436)

Given the level of Jaguar bashing, I think there may have been a traumatic Jaguar-related incident in his childhood...

Count Duckula II (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16536464)

Count Duckula II should be in there. Amstrad Action gave it 3%

http://www.cpcgamereviews.com/c/index8.html [cpcgamereviews.com]

Bad Street Brawler (1)

antime (739998) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536576)

Bad Street Brawler was published on at least the C64 under another name (that I can't think of now to save my life), and I thought that it was a pretty funny game if not a particularly good one. However it seems that besides the name change the game was also sanitized for the NES - the midget strongmen were handbag-wielding grannies in the (original?) computer version. I've never played the NES version and it's been ages since I played the C64 version, but does anyone know if there were other differences as well?

Re:Bad Street Brawler (1)

antime (739998) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536738)

Replying to myself here, but the name I was looking for was "Street Hassle" (apparently also released as "Bop'n'Rumble" in the U.S.). Looking at the screenshots [mobygames.com] it seems the NES version also replaced the blind, stick-wielding old guys with baseball-bat wielding hooligans. Removing the game's over-the-top humour really robs the NES version of its only saving grace so it's no wonder it is so poorly rated.

Revolution X (5, Funny)

filthWisard (1015523) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536592)

Is it just me or does Revolution X sound like it could have been a good idea for a game if you replaced aerosmith with spinal tap?

Re:Revolution X (5, Funny)

markimusk (669429) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536906)

it's just you.

Re:Revolution X (1)

runep (159408) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537360)

That would be Revolution XI.

Worst Website? (3, Insightful)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536722)

I nominate this for a pretty high ranking in the Worst Websites Outside Of Myspace list. Seriously, I had to turn off the CSS to avoid eyebleed and my system is already blocking GIFs and Flash, I don't even want to know what this would look like to some poor IE user.

So..... (1)

Viriatus (886319) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536730)

where's Nethack ???

LostMagic for DS (1)

Footix (972079) | more than 7 years ago | (#16536916)

Nothing more to say.

y'know (-1, Flamebait)

heptapod (243146) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537034)

Fuck you, Seanbaby. You were old meme when there was only gopher.

Airport Tycoon (3, Interesting)

SpryGuy (206254) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537126)

The worst game I ever purchased was "Airport Tycoon". Talk about abysmal. The concept had so much promise, but the result was so buggy and unfinsihed and ugly and unplayable, that it's the only game I ever uninstalled completely after less than one day, and then shredded and destroyed rather than taking it back for a refund. The only pleasure I got was destroying that piece of crap game.

Examples of what was wrong: all the graphical colors were muddy earth tones, just ugly. Placing buildings was buggy as hell (many times a building, road, or runway would refuse to be placed, for no apparent reason). Placing things inside the terminal (like ticket counters and security) was pointless... you could pile everything up on top of each other so people couldn't possible reach them, and it didn't matter. All that mattered is that you placed them somewhere. Also, what happened on the screen showed ZERO relationship with what was going on in the game. The game would say that the runway was too crowded, but the display would show an empty runway.

Just horrible all around. There wasn't a single redeeming value.

Was pretty funny until it got homophobic (2, Informative)

twjordan (88132) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537142)

I was enjoying this article until I got to the review of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon [seanbaby.com] . At first, I thought he was committing the sin of just being a jackass and using "gay" as a term to mean lame, but not actually connecting it with homosexuality, then I read "Now do the math on this: experts in ass ramming estimate that about 10% of the world is homosexual, and if you consider that only 5 people actually wanted a CDI machine, that means that this game was made specifically for a target audience of one half a person."

"Experts in ass ramming" eh?

Sounds like this guy has got a problem, oh I figured it out, he's a fucking idiot.

Homo got pissed (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16537346)

Beware the fag...

Re:Was pretty funny until it got homophobic (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16537618)

Ahh, take a pill already. Gay is funny, gay slang is funny, homophobic phrases are funny too. Deal with it. The gay community has to learn to take it like every other sect of people. Trying to be all high and mighty, like this shit offends you, doesn't make you get into heaven any quicker. So you might as well just laugh with the rest of us demented fucks....ass-pirate.

Hold the button (3, Funny)

edxwelch (600979) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537282)

Don't know if this would rate as the worse game, but it's good for a laugh anyways:
http://www.holdthebutton.com/ [holdthebutton.com]

Re:Hold the button (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537702)

That game is awesome.

SHAQ-FU (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16537314)

Shaq-fu [shaqfu.com]

Bad games, good reviewing (1)

geobeck (924637) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537424)

I especially like this gem from Club Drive (Jaguar):

Club Drive has invented its own bizarre set of rules where [really stupid game design]. It's hard to say whether it's a glimpse into the future of driving or just someone being an idiot.

Star Wars Lego II DS (1)

exp(pi*sqrt(163)) (613870) | more than 7 years ago | (#16537466)

I've been playing games for 30 years, it is most definitely the worst I have played. I'm not talking about other platforms, just the DS version. It's a game with so many bugs that it should be retitled "Get to the end of the level while working round the bugs". It could have been called "Defeat the Empire while working round the bugs" except that I'm not sure that the goal is to defeat the Empire. On some levels the goal appears to be merely to run around until the level suddenly disappears and is replaced by a new one.

And man, are these levels bug ridden. Like areas where your characters go invisible for no apparent reason and you have to guess where they are in relation to the platforms you're jumping over. Or rooms with corners that characters can't back out from. Or the large chunks of levels that simply vanish until you walk right up to them. Or the way characters are automatically resurrected on death so that if you arrange things just right they'll be resurrected exactly where they died and you'll end up with Obi-Wan in an infinite cycle of endless repeating death with barely enough time to scream between cycles.

And even if you don't want to kill characters you can have lots of fun watching them smash their heads repeatedly as they attempt to walk through walls because even the simplest shortest-route-from-A-to-B algorithm seems to have defeated the best minds among the game's developers.

Yup, if you want a sure fire way to make sure your kids hate you forever, by them Lego Star Wars II DS this Xmas.

Load More Comments
Slashdot Account

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
Create a Slashdot Account

Loading...