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398 comments

Make it stop! (5, Funny)

LiquidCoooled (634315) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835946)

When the researchers injected a pain-inducing chemical into rats' paws, 1 gram of opiorphin per kilogram of body weight achieved the same painkilling effect as 3 grams of morphine.

Well wouldn't you say anything to make them stop spitting on you?

"No more, yes alright it works I'm not in pain anymore."

Moving out of cuckoo land, I have a twisted ankle after a fall yesterday should I hock a loogie onto it?

Re:Make it stop! (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836208)

is that why he used his own spit in brokeback mountain

Heh, not exactly (1)

BadAnalogyGuy (945258) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836398)

Sometimes it's a matter of them telling you to think about your tongue in your mouth.

Or worse, to think about your breathing.

God, I hate when they do that.

Re:Make it stop! (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836650)

Funny, but morphine is hardly for ankle twisting pain.

I've been on several pain management clinics/programs - the last one being pretty much on the cutting edge of medical stuff (lots of experts trained in new stuff who travel worldwide for conferences about pain management and all). I've been taking morphine several times a day for a few years for chronic pain. It sucks. The side effects suck. But it's the only thing that's given me anything close to a "quality of life".

If it helps to put things in perspective, in the last group (about 20 ppl), when asked if we had honestly thought about ending our lives to make the pain stop, nobody's answered no. Being in excruciating pain each and every second of your life is very hard. You don't get a break when you can't handle it anymore. It's almost like being tortured, and it never ever stops, until the day you die.

It's a very hard thing to live. Hard to get or keep a job too, when almost half the time you're either in too much pain to be useful for anything or taken too much morphine that you're not "all there" anymore. You can't drive when you're taking the stuff either. Half the docs out there see you as an addict or something. And there's the complications and side effects. And when things happen like you catch a cold or gastro and you vomit, then you can't keep down your morphine either, then things start to go REALLY bad. You gotta to to the hospital, and it's not like they'll just give you a shot no questions asked. Your self-esteem is at an all-time low (no work, feeling worthless and a burden, etc). You can't sleep right. It sucks. Your life sucks. If I didn't have kids to look after, I'd likely have committed suicide a couple years ago just to end the pain.

Any new pain management method is a godsend. If I could, I'd volunteer to test this stuff for free (worst case scenario, I die, and the pain ends with it).

That's the daily reality of someone dealing with chronic pain. Morphine isn't just something for addicts and getting high. It makes the lives of millions bearable and worth living. And it's not just for old folks with cancer either - I just turned 30 last month.

Those poor rats (-1, Troll)

BadAnalogyGuy (945258) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835962)

When we complain about how aliens probe our anuses (anii?) with large metallic rods, sometimes it helps to put things into perspective by realizing that we are making rats walk around on pins until they need painkillers to block the agony.

I appreciate that the scientific process needs to go boink, but man's inhumanity to man is only outweighed by his inhumanity to animals.

I'll take the morphine, something that I know has been tested mainly on humans.

Re:Those poor rats (2, Insightful)

Fecal Troll Matter (445929) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836004)

I know I've been gone for awhile and I know this chap's nae is BadAnalogyGuy, but a score of 2 for questioning the pluralization of "anus", assuming that aliens sodomize humans, and being a general dumbass? What has Slashdot become?

Re:Those poor rats (5, Funny)

jez9999 (618189) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836012)

The rats? What about those poor bacteria in the saliva, just being sacrificed so the scientists could make the painkiller? There were probably more bacteria in there, eradicated, than there were humans that ever lived!

Re:Those poor rats (5, Funny)

MightyYar (622222) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836062)

I hate rats. I'll buy a product based on how many more rats they killed during testing then the nearest competitor.

Next up, little rat-like dogs. Can we require medical testing on those?

I'm completely against animal testing on cute little fuzzy bunnies and cool dogs, like golden retrievers. I'm against testing on some monkeys, but others you can go for it - like that little brown bastard that threw feces on me at the zoo. Give him monkey-AIDS.

Also, I never buy bug repellent that has been tested on mosquitoes. The slaughter must stop!

Re:Those poor rats (2)

Dersaidin (954402) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836510)

But what if more rat kills means its not as safe for you?

Indeed (-1, Troll)

ghostunit (868434) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836182)

I find particularly disturbing that whenever a story like this is posted no one seems to care about the horrible experiments made on animals or ridicule those who do.

I don't think any scientific finding is worth it if we have to pay with such horror and cruelty for it. Can't we advance science another way? Even if we couldn't I'd rather live in an inconvenient world.

Re:Indeed (5, Insightful)

Ginger Unicorn (952287) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836298)

i think its not so black and white. if you were about to die of cancer and some scientists said they could synthesise a cure by torturing a cage full of rabbits would you want them to? Even though its a horrible choice i cant see that i would choose to die.

on the other hand, testing something so trivial as make up on an animal doesnt have any ethical justification that i can discern. then there's the sliding scale in between.

Re:Indeed (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836366)

"...or ridicule those who do."
Very few people are actually in favor of gratuitous cruelty to animals. The widespread disdain you encounter is rooted in subliminal revulsion at a values system that fails to value humans more than animals. You undoubtedly view yourself as more civilized and humane than people who don't share your values. After complaining for the umpteenth time how barbaric the world is because of animal testing, stop and consider the possibility that maybe your promotion of an absolutely valid aesthetic concern out of proportion to more serious problems is just ludicrous tunnel vision. You want to stand against barbarism? Let's talk about war, poverty, police brutality and a host of other matters. STFU about the damned animals already.

Re:Indeed (1)

neuro_guy (1021643) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836396)

grrr... must resist urge to feed troll... grr- No, I can't. Ok, you go live in you inconvenient world. I can't wait to hear from you again when some of those scientific advances of medicine has healed your cancer or whatever...

Re:Indeed (0, Offtopic)

EinZweiDrei (955497) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836496)

Has the definition of 'troll' changed while I was at work?

Re:Indeed (1)

neuro_guy (1021643) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836602)

Hello? I don't think any scientific finding is worth it if we have to pay with such horror and cruelty for it" Such horror and cruelty. Puncturing some bloody rats. Go to a hospital, see HUMANS there. Rethink argument. Maybe I overdid when I said "troll", but... ah, forget it.

Re:Indeed (5, Insightful)

indifferent children (842621) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836442)

such horror and cruelty

I have a friend who is a neuro-oncology researcher. A very large part of her job is: causing cancer in rats, killing those rats, and sectioning their brains. Horror may be in the eye of the beholder, but she does not practice cruelty. The rats are killed by being placed into a box with CO2 (from a dry-ice chamber). That's probably a more peaceful death than I can expect.

Granted, when you are researching pain meds, there's probably going to be pain involved. But that doesn't mean than the researchers get any pleasure out of causing this pain, or that they cause any more pain than necessary.

If you truly feel that a rat life is worth as much as a human life, or that an hour of rat pain is as bad as an hour of human pain, then it is hard to justify your continued existence. Even if you are as green as you can get, and a hard-core vegan, your ecological footprint is very large (certainly compared to a rat), and responsible for the deaths of many small animals. The fact that you use a computer means that your carbon footprint is not that of a primitive hunter-gatherer. If you eat vegetables and/or grains, you are responsible for the deaths of several small mammals (such as fieldmice) and thousands of insects every week, just from the mechanical harvesting process (even assuming that your food is 'organic' and thus pesticide-free.

Re:Indeed (3, Informative)

Mprx (82435) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836550)

Try inhaling some CO2 yourself, it's very painful. I don't oppose killing rats, but it would be better to suffocate them with pure nitrogen or something. Lack of oxygen is not painful.

Re:Indeed (1)

CmdrGravy (645153) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836454)

I agree you're absolutely totally right. Evil science experiments torturing poor defenceless animals is just totally evil and we should all stop right now for the good of our souls.

On the other hand though science does need to progress, just not so evilly, so I suggest that in future we use nasty, evil or criminal animals for experiments.

Crocodiles for example are pretty evil just lurking in rivers waiting for lovely, amazing, wildebeeste or hapless tourists in Australia to gobble up.

Many lions and, unbeliveably, household cats are implacable serial killers so those who don't have their claws removed and their teeth filed blunt could be used.

Woodlouse, eeriewigs, spiders and worms are all pretty horrible so we can use them.

Many vegetarians don't believe chickens and fish are animals so there's no harm in using them.

Most animal rights campaigners are in fact evil terrorists who hack up the bodies of old ladies and should be used in preference to all the above.

Re:Indeed (2, Funny)

cheater512 (783349) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836554)

Why yes we can advance science in other ways!

Just sign these release papers and we'll get the 'advancement' started. :)

Re:Indeed (1)

bxbaser (252102) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836578)

"no one seems to care about the horrible experiments made on animals or ridicule those who do"

Its the anonymous nature of the internet and the disconnection from the suffering.

Im sure that 99% of the people behind the cruel or uncaring posts whould have a completly different viewpoint when shown a box of kittens and told "there ya go start, snapping necks" or "watch me while I kill this box full of kittens"

I would be willing to bet that the majority or cruel posters havent had to watch or participate in an inhumane act upon an animal or a person.

Re:Indeed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836608)

First, look up 'inhumane.' Second, do you feel you are being disingenuous by comparing snapping kittens necks to using animals as research subjects for human diseases?

Re:Indeed (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836610)

That's a straw man argument. You're contending that people who think you have jacked up priorities are actually pro-cruelty. Bollocks.

Re:Indeed (1)

Ksempac (934247) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836726)

Can't we advance science another way?

Of course we can...look at all the great inventions we made during the 2 World Wars...Medicine, Aviation, Rocket Science, Nuclear Science,Industrial processes (both military and civil...We all know that good military inventions become good civil inventions after the war ends)... We own theses 2 wars so much.
War has always been a good way to promote scientific research...When you ve got 1 million wounded soldiers to try a new drug/new surgery, 1 million valid soldiers to try your new shields, 1 million ennemies to "try" your new weapons, and 1 million prisoners to try whatever you want, you make a lot of progress pretty fast.
But now it seems people prefer horrible experiments on rats. That's disgusting. I agree with you, we should stop theses horrors and start a third WW right now, so that scientists can make their experiments without harming theses poor little creatures.

Ok i stop being ironic here to make my point : You always need something/someone to try your prototype. If your product affect living organisms only (which is the case for a drug but not a bomb) you need a living being. So you dont have the choice...You need to pick one. It might be a rat/a bunny/a dog/a cat or a human. Since no living being is willing to give his life for nothing, you have to take someone against his will. The problem is we ve got quite a lot of law forbidding torture/killing of a human. So you only have animals left. Or start a war, people tends to forget the laws during wars...

Re:Those poor rats (4, Insightful)

RationalRoot (746945) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836240)

You know it's just wrong for a post that starts with "When we complain about how aliens probe our anuses" to be modded insightful.

However I think you will find that man's inhumanity to animals is usually pretty unimaginitive compared with mans inhumanity to man.

Generally you don't have people getting really emotional about hurting animals, not like the way they get all involved in hurting other people.

Re:Those poor rats (1)

bri2000 (931484) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836306)

Generally you don't have people getting really emotional about hurting animals, not like the way they get all involved in hurting other people.

I thought there was significant evidence that many of those who go on to become anger-excitation rapists and other serial killers of the sort who enjoy torturing their victims usually start off torturing animals then move up to humans when animals no longer provide the same thrill. I certainly once attended a lecture by a forensic psychologist who made this claim and argued that adolescent torture of animals was the clearest indicator of future sociopathy in a person that he was aware of and that courts should take it more seriously as a sign of future violent potential.

Re:Those poor rats (1)

dosquatch (924618) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836534)

significant evidence that many of those who go on to become [...]

That's why the parent post said "generally". Most people do not go on to become sado-masochistic sexual offenders. That most of this small segment of the population do engage in animal cruelty would not invalidate his statement that, generally, this is not the case.

Re:Those poor rats (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836400)

Can we have a mod for -1 Crackpot?

Re:Those poor rats (1)

eighty4 (987543) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836514)

no, man's preservation of animal life is second only to man's preservation of human life.

Oh great! (3, Funny)

badfish99 (826052) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835968)

Just when I'd kicked my morphine habit, now I'm going to get jailed for posession of saliva.

Re:Oh great! (2, Funny)

digitaldc (879047) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836380)

Just when I'd kicked my morphine habit, now I'm going to get jailed for posession of saliva.

Just don't try to bring any saliva to jail in your mouth, it's always the first place they look.

I hope it's psychoactive (4, Funny)

DrSkwid (118965) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835974)

'cos morphine rules !!

I was in hospital one time after an operation and I was on a self administered morhine drip. But it would only give 1mg every 2 minutes (or whatever is the appropriate dose). But the machine also logs how many times you press the button so the staff can see how much pain you think you're in.

So I wouldn't have to count, I pressed the button every time the track changed on my mp3 player. Best hospital visit evar!!!1

I was lying there one time, opened my eyes and the Everquest HUD was there. In the chat window I was being spammed with :

You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.

Eventually I went and everybody who spoke on the journey, their chat came up in the window.

It was ace.

When they checked the machine they asked me if I was in a lot of pain, I ust said "no I like the morphine" and we all had a laugh. Until they took it off me.

Then they gave me these awful morphine based tablets and they gave me a bad trip so I stopped taking them.

Re:I hope it's psychoactive (1)

dupper (470576) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836140)

It's not the drugs that "give" someone a bad trip. Good call on quitting, though.

No, really, an important point (4, Insightful)

kria (126207) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836300)

More than the idea of reducing the quantity required, the question is whether this substance can block pain without having addictive qualities. That's a very important question, I think, and one that it seems they don't have the info on yet, because I can't imagine them leaving it out if they knew.

Re:No, really, an important point (2, Funny)

TinCanFury (131752) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836654)

People selfishly swallowing gallons of their own saliva, drinking juices in between just to get their next kick... Oh god, I hope the Republicans take over congress again so they can attack this scourge to society.

Think of the children! Defenseless, even on school yards! We will need to increase the number of police on the streets with packs of flour to stuff into people's mouths to prevent prevent them from getting high.

Re:I hope it's psychoactive (4, Funny)

djtachyon (975314) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836378)

You know you waste your life on an MMO when ...

Re:I hope it's psychoactive (1)

bytesex (112972) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836532)

I've been on morphine once, in a hospital right after an operation. I found it very boring; it just made me fuzzy. I don't see why junkies would have such a good time with it.

New Flash: Drooling idiots worth more then Google! (2, Funny)

Wacky_Wookie (683151) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835978)

The scientists never think these things through, do they? This is going to create huge problems for school discipline. Now whenever students are caught shooting spit balls at other students they can claim they were just implanting an airborne pain killer delivery system.

"But I was just helping Anne's neck pain..."

Re:New Flash: Drooling idiots worth more then Goog (1)

clickclickdrone (964164) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836010)

>airborne pain killer delivery system.
I can imagine Bush demanding that whatever ordnance is being dropped on civilians in is renamed to this rather inspired description.

Re:New Flash: Drooling idiots worth more then Goog (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836226)

No, you got that wrong. Now you can get that bully slugging spitballs at you impounded for drug dealing.

Ya know, lemons and lemonade...

Ready and Willing (2)

Philotic (957984) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835982)

[X] I am willing to test mankinds new potent pain killer.

I have.. migraines... on occasion...

Saliva? (5, Funny)

onion2k (203094) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835984)

Saliva is a painkiller? How come I have toothache then?

Hahahaha (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836082)

Saliva is a painkiller? How come I have toothache then?

The smartest joke ever. LOL LOL LOL LOL

Re:Saliva? (4, Informative)

The_Noid (28819) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836580)

It's because the salvia can't get inside the tooth, where your pain is. You should try drilling a hole in it, so the salvia can reach the pain...

Re:Saliva? (1)

MancunianMaskMan (701642) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836686)

ARE THEY SAFE???

Strange coincidence... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16835988)

Just when society figured that people can be hurt psychologically and kept in control with never ending bad news on TV they found a great physiological painkiller.

(Yes, I hate this reality.)

Going back to the old days? (5, Interesting)

malkavian (9512) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835992)

So, the behaviour observed in animals where they lick wounds, and even in humans, that 'kiss it better' (introduce saliva to the wound), or suck on a sore wound to make it feel better, by instinct, hasn't given the clue that there's something in saliva that helps?
There's a whole store of herb and animal lore that's been systematically quashed for decades (well, since the great witch hunts really), and science is only just getting round to looking at it now.
There's a lot to be said for 'complimentary' medicine for lesser ailments (although the modern pharmaceutical treatments are definitely magnitudes more effective for front line serious treatment). Rather than just decrying it, perhaps it should be investigated more thoroughly?

Re:Going back to the old days? (4, Insightful)

Manchot (847225) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836096)

Given that the drug appears to be newly discovered, it is probably present only in small concentrations in saliva. Saliva by itself probably doesn't have any painkilling effect. However, since there are many enyzmes present in saliva, sucking and/or spitting on a wound does still have the beneficial effect of cleaning it.

Re:Going back to the old days? (1)

Petra_von_Kant (825352) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836130)

So that complimentary medicine is the free stuff right? As opposed to the complementary medicine that is the expensive herbal stuff?

Seriously though, the peptides they are talking about are (relatively) trivial to produce in bulk.

Re:Going back to the old days? (1)

Unc-70 (975866) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836482)

No, no, it's the stuff that tells you 'you look great in that shirt'.

Re:Going back to the old days? (5, Interesting)

lachlan76 (770870) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836164)

Actually, I believe that the instinct to lick a wound is because saliva contains Lysozyme [wikipedia.org] , which makes it easier for white blood cells to engulf a bacterium. Its presence in tears is one of the reasons that you cry when you get something in your eyes.

Re:Going back to the old days? (1)

mgblst (80109) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836408)

...and even in humans, that 'kiss it better' (introduce saliva to the wound)
 
You know that when you kiss it better, you really aren't supposed to french kiss it?

Re:Going back to the old days? (1)

GeffDE (712146) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836524)

Well, I am not sure about humans, but I know that one reason that animals will lick their wounds is that their saliva has antibiotic properties and will actually clean/disinfect the wound and help it heal faster. It may also have painkilling properties, but I remember that an animal's saliva will help a wound of theirs heal better.

Re:Going back to the old days? (5, Interesting)

value_added (719364) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836634)

So, the behaviour observed in animals where they lick wounds, and even in humans, that 'kiss it better' (introduce saliva to the wound), or suck on a sore wound to make it feel better, by instinct, hasn't given the clue that there's something in saliva that helps?

I've been moaning about that for years, and without exception, every pet owner and every vet considered me nuts. I noticed that if you lay a plate of food on the ground and have a dog lick it clean, a thin clear coating builds up on the surface of the plate. Give it a day or two, and washing the plate hot soapy water doesn't remove the coating as you'd think it would.

Mind you I don't know what's in saliva, and as this article suggests, few have stopped to consider the subject long enough to study it. What I do know is that the standard procedure of treating a dog for an injury or skin problem involves topical antiobiotics in combination with a cone that's placed over the dog's head (if a dog has any self respect, it's lost in minutes after the cone goes on). Licking, according to established wisdom, defeats the purpose, infects the wound or injury, saliva is full of germs, blah blah blah. Dogs have been around longer than veterinary medicine, and I doubt there's many wild animals that have membership in an HMO. Put another way, they've been doing fine for longer than we know. And for reasons we can only hope to discover. I let my own dogs lick any itches or wounds they have, and have yet to find something that hasn't healed as it should. I can't say the same for pets of relatives and friends who went the cone-head route.

I could add something on how oral sex relates to the topic at hand, but instead I'll continue with Stuff I Learned About Dogs that similarly runs contrary to a veterinary advice, established wisdom, or published literature. I expect Science will catch up to this, as it will in other areas.

1. Dogs don't need a lot of water. Unless you feed them a steady diet of dried corn meal packaged up as dog food.

2. Dogs don't need or want a steady diet, and feeding your dog "table scraps" (aka "real food") doesn't cause upset and diarrhea. By comparison, if you eat nothing but Corn Flakes every day for 10 years, chances are an ordinary hamburger will cause problems.

3. Dogs are creatures of habit, but seek out a change in regimen when possible. Don't feed your dog in a bowl. Hide the food around the house and make them search for it. Great fun. Even better, roll some soft-boiled eggs across the kitchen floor and let them catch their food. The expression on their face after that first bite is priceless.

4. If given the opportunity, dogs will discover they enjoy fruits and many vegetables (green leafy stuff being the exception, and apples and tomatoes perennial favourites). The best food for dogs is pizza. Yeah, pizza. Pizza has lots of fat (more important than protein for any active dog), it's chewy (all dogs like to chew), and if there's lots of toppings, the scavenger instinct is satisfied. Best served warm, of course.

Obviously, I have way too much free time on my hands. Maybe I can become a scientist.

Re:Going back to the old days? (3, Insightful)

Shaper_pmp (825142) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836688)

"There's a whole store of herb and animal lore that's been systematically quashed for decades (well, since the great witch hunts really), and science is only just getting round to looking at it now."

Make that "a whole store of vague, sometimes contradictory waffle that only intermittently produces results with absolutely no theoretical underpinnings to explain why, how or when it works".

And no-one's quashing anything - if you want to go out on the winter solstice and rub a badger on your varicose veins nobody's stopping you - just don't expect to be able to get it on the National Health Service (or private healthcare, for those countries without a functioning public healthcare system) without the slightest bit of scientific evidence that it's safe and it works.

There are a lot of advances still to be (re-)discovered in traditional herbal and animal lore around the world - of this there is no doubt. Unfortunately there's also a whole load of dangerous horseshit dressed up as traditional lore too, so as a society we don't tend to give credence to a piece of lore until it's been scientifically tested (and ideally until we have some theory as to why it works).

This isn't "quashing" or "destroying" anything - it's called being sensibly prudent. We observe an effect, study it and then use it when we're sure it's safe and effective.

Recall that most of this "store of herbal and animal lore" was discovered by feeding patients a variety of random items and watching for the ones who didn't die horribly from an infection or allergic reaction.

show of hands (2, Funny)

brunascle (994197) | more than 7 years ago | (#16835996)

how many people thought that said salvia [wikipedia.org] ?

Re:show of hands (1)

Philotic (957984) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836046)

As far as I know it didn't say anything. Put down the pipe, my friend.

Re:show of hands (1)

ari wins (1016630) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836404)

Nod, I read the title of the article, and felt the presence of a female in the room. BTW, saliva is a lot easier to grown than salvia, that's for damn sure.

Well, that's another problem licked (3, Funny)

Bazzargh (39195) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836008)

Sorry, it had to be said.

Sweet (4, Funny)

Timesprout (579035) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836020)

I am going to claim saliva addiction and start snogging every good looking girl I see for the rest of the afternoon.

*Slap* (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836606)

I see a lot of slaps coming at your face if you try that. But on the bright side, you can actually claim you need painkillers after that.
Your sacrifice in the name of science will not be forgotten.

Re:Sweet (1)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836666)

RTFA..but without the addictive and psychological side effects...

Now roll your tongue back up in your mouth and get back to work code monkey! You can teach them to code but you can't take them out in public....

Oral sex.. (0, Troll)

mikkelm (1000451) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836036)

..



...


Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Re:Oral sex.. (1)

ettlz (639203) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836100)

..



...


Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Around here, yes.

Blah, blah, blah, my comment does not have too few characters per line.

Re:Oral sex.. (1)

Loconut1389 (455297) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836370)

the troll may have a point.

Fun factor? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836044)

I bet morphine is a lot more fun than saliva, whatever the pain blocking abilities.

Natural Born Pain Killers (1)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836058)

Why is an old Oliver Stone film on Slashdot?

War on Drugs (3, Funny)

MightyYar (622222) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836094)

Easy to synthesize.

Made from saliva.

Well, the "War on Drugs" is about to get interesting. Have you had you mouth drained by a government-approved suction center yet today? "Today the police knocked over another spit house..."

(I know, I know, synthesize means they don't need actual saliva... just trying to be funny.)

Re:War on Drugs (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836328)

So remember this to avoid any problems: "Just say NO to saliva!" The DEA is already working on eliminating any and all saliva labs in the US to end this scourge. Of course this just opens up the market to saliva smuggled in from Mexico and their "super saliva labs" but that's from another day and another taxpayer dollar.



FYI: Merck is working on a new drug called "Salivax"* that works most of the time and only costs $400USD per month so rejoice!


*Salivax may cause sweating, diarrhea, weight gain, toe loss or death. If invested consult a mortician.

Darn... (1, Funny)

Xest (935314) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836110)

"Scientists say the molecule is simple and synthesis is expected to be simple."

If it weren't for that students of the world could rejoice with a much less embarrassing way to pay for their university fees than sperm donation, they could've spat their way through uni!

Spit painkiller? (1)

smitty_one_each (243267) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836128)

Spit painkiller?
Nifty thriller.
Better still,
The no-blood spiller.
Burma Shave

3 grams of morphine? (!) (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836144)

I understand they might be comparing relative potency, but comparing to THREE GRAMS of morphine is kinda excessive.

300 mg morphine will render just about any human being unconscious and apnoeic pretty quickly.

3000 mg will knock you out cold, stop you breathing, and drop your blood pressure precipitously, more or less instantaneously.

In which sense, numerous things have have the same pain-killing effect as three grams of morphine.

Being hit by a freight train, for instance.

Re:3 grams of morphine? (!) (5, Funny)

Nakoruru (199332) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836294)

Yes, but the dosage of freight train required is a lot bigger.

RTFA, please. (4, Informative)

Dion (10186) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836600)

They didn't inject 3g of morphine in a human.

They didn't even inject 3g of morphine in a rat.

What they found was that 3 grams of morphine per kg body weight is about as potent as 1 gram of morphine per kg body weight of the new saliva substance.

Hold off on the stock buying (4, Informative)

paiute (550198) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836146)

They isolated a peptide which inhibits two enzymes that chew up enkephalins, the body's natural pain killers. Inhibiting these makes the naturally-released enkephalins hang around longer. The problem is that peptide drugs have a checkered history. See the article linked below.

http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/abstract/060586510 3v1 [pnas.org]

Re:Hold off on the stock buying (1)

Boghog (910236) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836544)

I agree that developing a peptide as a drug is very difficult (especially an orally active drug).

However from the original publication:
> major active and less hydrophobic form corresponds to the 5 amino acid residues QRFSR

So this is relatively low molecular weight peptide and therefore it may be feasible to mimimic the inhibitory activity of this peptide with a low molecular weight non-peptidic molecule. This also takes time, but it is a well precidented route for developing a drug
(see for example http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACE_inhibitor#History [wikipedia.org] ).

Whose IP is spit? (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836238)

Well, one thing's for sure. As soon as this stuff is researched, someone will patent it. Let's see how far the patenting idiocy has grown by now. Are they gonna get the patent for the procedure or the patent on saliva?

Re:Whose IP is spit? (1)

mgblst (80109) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836436)

They won't be able to patent it, but they will be able to patent the method the use to synthesize the molecule. They will be aiming for somethign that is quite complex to make, to increase the benefit of their product. They might even make a derivative, which is slightly different, but many a study will show has much better results.

3 GRAMS of morphine???? (1)

janek78 (861508) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836248)

3 grams of morphine is about 100 times the maximum daily dose for a 70kg adult. The article even mentions that it was per kilo of body weight. Now that would be a huge dose. But nevertheless, it will be interesting to see if this actually makes it into anything useful for human use.

Kiss it and make it all better (1)

SoaringRaven (246292) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836282)

So mothers who kiss their child's wounds may be performing a biologically active pain-killer and not just an emotional placebo?

Makes sense (1)

squoozer (730327) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836290)

When we hurt ourselves there is a natural instinct to lick the wound so I'm not that surprised that there is a pain killer in saliva. The primary reason for licking a wound is to clean it but if there was a pain killer included as well that would increase the reason for licking the wound and, thus, probably increase the chance of survival of the animal. Natural selection would quickly select those animals that produced the pain killer.

I can see it now... (1)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836314)

"Come on, baby. I got a real bad groin injury today. Can't you help me with the pain?"

Dead is dead. (1)

methano (519830) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836316)

I kind of do this stuff for a living so I don't need to RTFA to know that 3 grams of morphine/kg of body weight is way past a lethal dose.

Nice job! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836702)

"I kind of do this stuff for a living"
You french girls all day?

Appropriate Burroughs quote (1)

megastructure (1014587) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836334)

I have heard that there was once a beneficent non-habit-forming junk in India. It was called soma and is pictured as a beautiful blue tide. If soma ever existed the Pusher was there to bottle it and monopolize it and sell it and it turned into plain old time JUNK.

-William S. Burroughs, Naked Lunch

Saliva-medicine turns into addictive drug sold illegally on the streets in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ......

Re:Appropriate Burroughs quote (1)

Magada (741361) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836708)

Damn I wish I had a mod point...

BJ's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836446)

Sweet! Now I can write-off hooker BJ's as a medical expense.

Oh, really? (1)

dosquatch (924618) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836460)

Oh, come on! Don't "scientists" have anything better to do than state things that are already known?* It's been known that saliva in animals has antiseptic and pain-killing properties for ages. That's why they (and we) have the instint to lick our wounds.

* in the works next, a t-shirt that'll let you air-drum!

In Soviet Russia,... (0, Offtopic)

OneSmartFellow (716217) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836512)

saliva kills YOU !!

Finally... (1)

vikingpower (768921) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836570)

...some scientific news to really drool about

Kissing (1)

fdiskne1 (219834) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836584)

So making out with a significant other helps you ignore some pain and keeps you from being depressed? I could have told you that!

spit looks profitable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836592)

But what am I going to do with all of this iodine and red phosphorus?

lets hope they try it with human semen... (1)

speculatrix (678524) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836594)

.. so the next time my wife says she has a headache, I will have the perfect cure for it!!!

Like we didn't know that... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#16836648)

...injured animals lick their wounds?

Oh great... (0, Offtopic)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836670)

Just when they were about to loosen their restrictions on bringing fluids onto a plain...

I can see it now:
TSA gate-thug: "Sir, please spit into the garbage bag."
Me: "I... haff... no.. mo... thaliva..."
TSA gate-thug: "Don't get sassy with me! Spit!"
Me: "I'll try... Thee? Nothing!"
TSA gate-thug: "Supervisor! We've got a wet one! CODE RED!!!"

In other news (1)

greysky (136732) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836678)

It was also determined that saliva (esp that of women who have borne children) can also be used as hair gel, facial cleanser and stain remover.

Opiorphin - only MSN has it (-1, Offtopic)

4D6963 (933028) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836694)

In an almost off-topic manner, the molecule talked about here, opiorphin, is unknown by Google and Yahoo!, and MSN finds 5 results for it, 2 of them being relevant articles in english.

FOR SALE ! (1)

Skaber (1017606) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836712)

I'm selling 1 liter of my own homemade saliva.
Bids starting at $0.99.
Auction ends at 10 am EST
:)

FDA approves opiorphin for dreary, dull jobs (1)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 7 years ago | (#16836734)

"But we have to test its side effects as it is not a pure painkiller," she says. "It may also be an anti-depressive molecule."

Now your employer can justify spitting on the employees as a workforce motivation tool.

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