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DARPA Funds Remote Control Sharks

CmdrTaco posted more than 7 years ago | from the sunday-morning-new-baby dept.

137

An anonymous reader writes "From Undersea Spies: Turning Sharks into Robotic Sentries "It seems like science fiction, but the U.S. military would like to use sharks as underwater spies. The folks at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), who dream up the future of weapons and military systems, envision squads of sharks prowling the oceans with sensors that could transmit evidence of explosives or other threats.""

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137 comments

Now all that's missing (4, Funny)

Rosco P. Coltrane (209368) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276946)

are the friggin' laser beams and head mounts...

Re:Now all that's missing (0, Redundant)

Kierthos (225954) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276978)

Damn, you beat me to it.

Re:Now all that's missing (2, Interesting)

msobkow (48369) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277240)

Yeah, but the naval commanders could never pull off the pinkie-lip snear as well as they did in the movies. Plus, having a bunch of bald or balding military commanders making such comments would really freak people out. :D

Didn't they used to do the same thing with dolphins back in the 1960's-70's? IIRC animal rights activists objected to the bottlenose being trained to carry bombs.

Yikes! The US military was training sea life to be suicide terrorist bombers! :eek:

Re:Now all that's missing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277984)

Didn't they used to do the same thing with dolphins back in the 1960's-70's? The US military was training sea life to be suicide terrorist bombers!

Heh. "Used to". Ha. "Was". Hand-to-Snout combat. I recommend rolling to a ball and protecting your soft pink belly. They will break your ribs and you'll probably still drown, but the divers might get to you in time.

Re:Now all that's missing (1)

ozmanjusri (601766) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277278)

Now all that's missing are the friggin' laser beams and head mounts.

And the paradox is, they'd all be lining up to jump themselves.

Re:Now all that's missing (1)

Dysl3xicDog (1040956) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277332)

I finnaly created an account just to leave that comment.

Re:Now all that's missing (3, Funny)

LiquidCoooled (634315) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277532)

So, you expect to be able to open the account create page, fill in the details, submit your captcha three times, wait for your acceptance email, signin, re-find the page and actually type and submit your clichéd comment before a subscriber?

Theres optimism if ever I saw it!

Well, actually... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17278086)

... we're also missing a giant water tank built inside a Boeing 747 (possibly using transparent aluminum) and Samuel L. Jackson delivering his signature line: "get these motherf**kin' sharks off this motherf**kin' plane".

I will *not* be remote controlled! (1)

Shark (78448) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278528)

Seriously, I think remote-controlling animals is pretty unethical.

Then again, this could be a good thing... Might put some political pressure into protecting sharks. They are in serious overfishing trouble nowadays. If one is going to use sharks as spies, might as well make sure there are plenty of sharks everywhere.

Re:Now all that's missing (1)

raphae (754310) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278614)

From the article:

Atema was able to use electrical stimulation of a sharks brain, mimicking odor, to guide the shark around a large tank.



This is one of the most hideous, ghastly things I have read. Not only should any "scientist" who engages in such ghastly experiments lose all his credentials, he and everyone in the chain above him should be criminally prosecuted.

Such a horrific, sickening abuse of life is appalling.

Re:Now all that's missing (1)

sanman2 (928866) | more than 7 years ago | (#17279572)

Nah, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for sharks, when you hear about the horror stories from shark attack reports. I don't care if they're given disproportionate press coverage, the fact is that sharks are ruthless, cold-bloodedly remorseless killers. If we can get them under our control with brain implants, then that's fine by me.

lasers (-1, Redundant)

RexxFiend (261662) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276952)

do they have fricking lasers on their heads?

Gotta be an easier way to use lasers... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17276960)

Right?

Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel... (-1, Redundant)

Antony-Kyre (807195) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276966)

Attatch laser beams to the sharks, and we have another sequal for Jaws.

Re:Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel (3, Funny)

stonedcat (80201) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277086)

I believe your post has jumped the shark.

Re:Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel (1)

RexxFiend (261662) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277712)

It tried to but tripped on the laser on it's head...

not only that but I posted it at the same time as the first post but still got modded redundant ;-(
I guess the slashdot editors had a sweep on how many "fricking lasers" posts they would get in the first five minutes. We really are a sad and predictable bunch.

Re:Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel (1)

Antony-Kyre (807195) | more than 7 years ago | (#17280244)

I wonder whatever happened to the Funny modifier, and just leaving something at one or zero would be good enough.

Yes, but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17276972)

Do they have lasers, controlled by a Linux kernel, attached to their heads?

Animals make a fine robotics platforms (1)

Dr. Eggman (932300) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276976)

So long as there aren't any speedy blue ones to foul it all up...

Re:Animals make a fine robotics platforms (1)

FusionDragon2099 (799857) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277460)

Your username makes your post all the more amusing.

First five posts - all about lasers (3, Funny)

PIPBoy3000 (619296) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276980)

Please, how far can you beat a dead shark?

Re:First five posts - all about lasers (3, Funny)

WallaceAndGromit (910755) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277014)

Aparently to at least +5 funny

MOD PARENT (STICK) UP (THE ASS)!!! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277036)

no text

Re:First five posts - all about lasers (2, Funny)

wik (10258) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277378)

This research is like kicking dead sharks down the beach.

I promise, no lasers... (1)

The Monster (227884) | more than 7 years ago | (#17280208)

<doorbell rings:>

Who is it?

Candygram.

Re:First five posts - all about lasers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17280326)

All the shark comments are on the laser stories. Didn't you get the memo?

Administration (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17276986)

Once again, proof that administration is one hell of a lucrative business to be in. Even when government fails outright, it is normally rewarded with more power and revenue, quite unlike what happens under voluntary support.

Not a laser beam joke (1)

TodMinuit (1026042) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276988)

[insert mashup of "Jaws" and "James Bond" theme music here]

Too easy... (-1, Redundant)

Rik Sweeney (471717) | more than 7 years ago | (#17276990)

envision squads of sharks prowling the oceans with

frickin' laser beams on their heads!

fuc4.. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17276992)

to kkep up as of BSD/OS. A sorely diminished.

Does that mean (3, Funny)

lupine_stalker (1000459) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277024)

That all the people killed in Jaws were terrorists and/or illegal immigrants?

Re:Does that mean (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17280002)

Yes.

Friggin' lasers (1, Redundant)

MrNaz (730548) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277032)

I know I'm late on this one and the joke has already been made. But there is no way in HELL that I'm not making a post about friggin' lasers. So here it is.

Please update me (1)

rumith (983060) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277084)

... what's up with lasers and sharks on Slashdot? I must have missed something some time.

Re:Please update me (1)

gravesb (967413) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277110)

On the assumption that you are actually serious, watch Austin Powers.

Re:Please update me (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277124)

It's a line from Austin Powers [imdb.com] where Dr. Evil says that what he wanted was sharks with lasers on their heads and the other guy has to explain that sharks are endangered and so they settled for the next best thing -- sea bass.

Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

Not another laser joke (3, Funny)

unitron (5733) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277082)

So does this mean that DARPA has officially jumped the shark?

Re:Not another laser joke (1)

dangitman (862676) | more than 7 years ago | (#17280052)

They could probably jump the sharks through hoops at Seaworld to get some extra funding $$$$$. But you'd really want the Fonz at the controls for maximum effect.

Let me be the first to ask... (0, Redundant)

alexhard (778254) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277088)

Will they have frickin' lasers on their heads and/or will they run linux?

it used to be dolphins (3, Funny)

quixote9 (999874) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277112)

Really. They were even training them to do various things. (Look for subs or something. I don't remember.) There was talk of training them to attach mines to enemy vessels. Then an outcry began--rightfully, as far as I'm concerned--that it was a Bad Thing to use such intelligent and simpatico animals for this. Now, I see, they've moved to sharks. No lobby supporting them, I'll bet, but the military also won't be able to train them to do much. Sharks are well below flounders in brain power.

Re:it used to be dolphins (5, Interesting)

Hal_Porter (817932) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277384)

Really. They were even training them to do various things. (Look for subs or something. I don't remember.) There was talk of training them to attach mines to enemy vessels. Then an outcry began--rightfully, as far as I'm concerned--that it was a Bad Thing to use such intelligent and simpatico animals for this. Now, I see, they've moved to sharks. No lobby supporting them, I'll bet, but the military also won't be able to train them to do much. Sharks are well below flounders in brain power.

They're not training them, they're remote controlling them

http://www.bu.edu/alumni/buforward/archives/Dec_20 06/articles/spies.html [bu.edu]

DARPA turned to Jelle Atema, a College of Arts and Sciences professor of biology at the Boston University Marine Program, who for many years has been researching how marine animals use their sense of smell. Atema proposed that because sharks are expert at tracking odors over very long distances, the key to steering a shark was to follow its nose. With more than a year of DARPA funding, which ended last year, Atema was able to use electrical stimulation of a sharks brain, mimicking odor, to guide the shark around a large tank.


So the simplicity of the shark's brain is actually an advantage. From the shark's point of view, it's chasing the smell, presumably, of prey.

Interestingly, something like this happens naturally. Parasitic wasps perform brain surgery to zombify roaches.

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/02/03/wasp_performs _roachb.html [boingboing.net]

Makes you wonder if you could do it with higher animals actually. Even though we seem to have aa certain amount of free will about how we achieve our objectives of eating and reproducing and avoiding pain, there's probably low level hardware in our the oldest parts of our brains which enforces those objectives by sending reward/punishment signals 'up' to the high level, conscious bits of our brains. I can imagine that if you attached electrodes in the right places, you could run mammals and even humans in remote controlled zombie mode too. It would be a hellish experience though, since you'd know your free will had been strongly curtailed.

Still, look on the bright side, most /.'s seem to be quite skilled at ignoring the signals from their cerebellum to reproduce. So long as the evil scientists don't wire the neurons that reward you for successfully finding carbohydrate based junk food we should be immune.

Re:it used to be dolphins (1)

Venotar (233363) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277564)

My understanding is there are some parasites that affect human brain functions - apparently there's a worm of sorts that can infect people through puncture wounds, but I wasn't able to find a specific reference to it in my quick search. There is a parasitic microbe in cats [wikipedia.org] that some scientists believe could have influenced the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasma_gondii [slashdot.org] ">de velopment of whole human cultures.

Then there's the Gordian Worm [wikipedia.org] seen forcing a cricket to drown itself here [google.com] . Apparently it grows inside the host until it releases a chemical that sends the host searching for a convenient place to do a header. Creepy stuff.

Re:it used to be dolphins (2, Informative)

Hal_Porter (817932) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277768)

Actually, I found this parasite fasinating

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?ne wsid=44092 [medicalnewstoday.com]

It knows how to regulate the human immune system for it's own purposes. It actually seems quite close to being a symbiote, since it can treat Crohn's disease. Reminds me a bit of Goa'uld in SG-1 actually.

But I guess Rabies [wikipedia.org] manages to change host behaviour in a way that encourages transmission.

Re:it used to be dolphins (2, Interesting)

darkfire5252 (760516) | more than 7 years ago | (#17279448)

They already solved that problem [slashdot.org] .

By using electricity to manipulate the nerves in the inner ear in the same way that the scientists are manipulating the nerves in the nose, scientists were able to make a person feel like they had to go a certain direction in order to keep their balance.

Re:it used to be dolphins (2, Funny)

IchBinEinPenguin (589252) | more than 7 years ago | (#17281316)

It would be a hellish experience though, since you'd know your free will had been strongly curtailed.

For a second there I thought I was back in the Vista thread...

Re:it used to be dolphins (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277668)

I'm going to go ahead and debunk this. I worked on that project. Hell, I got Dr. Atema his funding. When I left the lab, we were nowhere close to actually getting the damn things swimming with anything attached to their brains. We were trying to keep these things alive while monitoring their heart rate. The good doctor is huge on positive publicity, and I'm almost positive that they never got anywhere near the prize with this one. Why else would DARPA pull the funding, no?

I didn't know... (4, Funny)

denttford (579202) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277120)

...that DARPA has a division researching /. trolling.

fu3k!? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277130)

are having trouble at times. From the channel to sign members are In addition, risk looking even for suucessful Similarly grisly

if you read the article.... (1)

gravesb (967413) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277132)

It seems like most of the kinks are worked out, and the project has been classified. The really interesting part, though, is the potential civilian applications. If this doesn't harm the sharks, it seems a lot cheaper and more efficient means than either human divers or remote subs.

Re:if you read the article.... (1)

Joebert (946227) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277398)

If this doesn't harm the sharks, it seems a lot cheaper and more efficient means than either human divers or remote subs.

Means of what ?
I don't keep up with the news like I used to, but last I checked, sharks didn't have opposable thumbs or an easy way to attach robotic arms.

Re:if you read the article.... (1)

gravesb (967413) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277450)

According to the article, tracking fish groups and monitoring water tempature changes. It also mentions chemical spills, but that seems like it would hurt the sharks, so probably not as easy to justify.

Re:if you read the article.... (1)

Maurice (114520) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277946)



How do you send electrical signals to its brain without harming the shark? My guess is they drilled electrodes into the sharks' brains.

DARPA or DHARMA? (4, Funny)

SirBruce (679714) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277136)

Do the sharks have logos on them?

Bruce

Re:DARPA or DHARMA? (1)

Patik (584959) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277328)

For those at don't get it, it's a reference to Lost [abc.com] (and actually the first thing I thought of before laser beams).

NEW and IMPROVED! (1)

Alsee (515537) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277146)

US army, now with more lawyers!

-

Re:NEW and IMPROVED! (1)

Dysl3xicDog (1040956) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277650)

You Forgot, Army Strong...

Humans be warned (1)

ShadowLeo (770494) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277166)

Resistance is futile.

Once the smart sharks are born .. (1)

cahyotw (132181) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277212)

they will seek Samuel L. Jackson and eat him!

Dumb idea (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277214)

The Chinese will defeat this by increasing their uptake of shark fin soup by ten fold.

The Only Thing Worse (3, Funny)

jaypeg (711764) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277228)

The only thing worse than roving gangs of US Navy mind controlled sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads is a land shark from Mother Russia with a beowulf cluster!

Re:The Only Thing Worse (1)

andphi (899406) | more than 7 years ago | (#17280790)

What exactly is the Challenge Rating on an army of Russian-born Bulettes [d20srd.org] ? It sounds fairly horrendous.

Re:The Only Thing Worse (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17281182)

There is one worse thing yet:

A petrified Natalie Portman mounted Netcraft laser* carried by a shark full of hot grits propelled by old people from Korea.... running Linux.... on rails... inside a warrantless timecube [timecube.com] .

* The ultimate weapon - everything it points to is dying.

So far just BS comments (0)

aliquis (678370) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277250)

Ok, I've read them all so far and it's just BS comments about lasers.

Anyway all I wanted was some serious post to attach my opinion to but since there are none a new post will have to do. And what I wanted to say is that I think this is both wrong and cruel against the animals, they aren't supposed to be drones for humans. Get real robots or put humans into it, but not animals, or even better yet just stop dumping oil, start wars or whatever.

Re:So far just BS comments (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277362)

I prefer the laser beam posts.

Re:So far just BS comments (1)

Hawkxor (693408) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277846)

even better yet just stop dumping oil, start wars or whatever

What does this have to do with the story? (-1, Hippie)

Sea bass (1)

Latent Heat (558884) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278504)

The original post should have been made under the Humor than the Science category. Yes, it is wrong and cruel to animals and perhaps a stupid use of tax money as well, and that makes it funny. No, there is nothing wrong to see humor in something that is wrong and cruel because that is one way to make people aware that something wrong and cruel is also stupid.

Re:So far just BS comments (1)

leoc (4746) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278690)

I agree 100% about the sharks. DARPA could not have come up with a better way to help ensure the extinction of sharks, because now every country that thinks they have something to worry about will be catching and killing as many sharks as they can find, and the species is already heavily fished and at risk [planetsave.com] .

Re:So far just BS comments (1)

Pichu0102 (916292) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278710)

Ok, I've read them all so far and it's just BS comments about lasers.


You must be new here.

Re:So far just BS comments (2, Insightful)

jeffeb3 (1036434) | more than 7 years ago | (#17279920)

I agree, it's horrible. Puting tracking devices on sharks is totally invading their privacy.

Overlords (3, Funny)

youthoftoday (975074) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277262)

I, for one, welcome our new robotic shark overlords.

Navy sharks (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277268)

If one of those beasts attacks me while I'm surfing, can I sue the navy for damages?

Isn't it obvious ? (1)

Joebert (946227) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277308)

The Military, tired of Atemas' funding milkage, have enlisted Tucan Sam to train theese sharks to follow their nose to explosives.
The Military plans to recoup their lost funding by excluding the part of the protocol that would make the sharks stop when they got to the explosives, then selling the Hi-Def video captured as the Digitally Remastered, Cut Scenes from the Jaws movies.

Sounds great at first.... (1)

Starker_Kull (896770) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277366)

...but all they'll be doing in the long run is teach other navies' that don't wish to be spied on to take out any fish that happens to wander too close - or better yet, just preemptively take out all large sealife so as not to interfere with our wargames. Animal rights activists will love that one.

OTOH, we might have a new way of tracking enemy submarines - look for the trail of dead fish floating on the surface...

Re:Sounds great at first.... (1)

hazzey (679052) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277556)

...but all they'll be doing in the long run is teach other navies' that don't wish to be spied on to take out any fish that happens to wander too close


But we have already started on this path with all of the experiments with dolphins detecting divers and the like.

Actually, why are they using sharks at all? Besides having sharp, pointing teeth, I wouldn't imagine that they would be any easier to train than dolphins.

I love it. (1)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277368)

A story comes along about a defense company funding shark development and the site lights up with countless ameteur attempts at SNL-quality writing.

Even better... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277416)

Lame critics of amateur attempts at SNL-quality writing.

Shark fin soup (1)

alshithead (981606) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277498)

I can see it now..."Waiter there's a laser in my soup!"

Updated (1)

Das Auge (597142) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277510)

This [satirewire.com] needs to be updated...

Correct link (1)

adnonsense (826530) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277664)

Shurely you mean this [satirewire.com] ?

just the title sounds ... (1)

josepha48 (13953) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277590)

.. like a bad movie I saw on SciFi. It sounds almost like Peter Benchley's "Creature", which was about a mutated shark. Then again there is that movie set "Shark Attack" 1, 2 and 3.

I can read articles that are like this!

oh noes! sharks!!! (1)

randomned (669691) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277596)

_____|\_____\o/_____ oh noes!! SHARK!!!

sharks with frickin' laser beams .. (1, Redundant)

rs232 (849320) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277598)

'Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!' [imdb.com]

because tree-huggers won't let them use dolphins! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277622)

This is old old old old OLD news with a new twist.
15 years ago it was dolphins and people became super upset "Oh those poor dolphins, blown
up in some stupid military training excercise"

Anyway... bleeding hearts took it and ran with it....

I guess they figure the tree huggers won't mind if a few sharks get whacked during
some military fiasco...

Tell me again why the united states budgets 44 cookies for defense and a cookie and a half
for the entire education system???

Sounds similar to Fabien Cousteau's device (1)

Kerhop (652872) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277626)

So it's just an automated vesion of Fabien Cousteau [apple.com] 's fake shark?

Fonzie would be proud! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17277704)

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has finally jumped the laser beam equipped robotic shark. [wikipedia.org]

Countermeasures (2, Funny)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277718)

I think the main military benefit to this technology is that it will force hostile nations to build chum launchers as a countermeasure. The notion is so disgusting it will reduce reenlistment rates for their navies.

Hello extinction, hello dupe (2, Informative)

perrin (891) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277796)

This proposal is unethical on so many levels. Most urgently - many species of shark are already nearing extinction, and if subs and other sea vessels that would like to go undetected start killing any sharks that come close "just in case", they will disappear quickly. As noted in this slashdot story: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/02/2 3/0214242 [slashdot.org] , and this one: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/01/1 7/1815250 [slashdot.org]

Besides, this story is a dupe: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/03/0 2/0031225 [slashdot.org] was the previous one.

Re:Hello extinction, hello dupe (0, Offtopic)

Truekaiser (724672) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277930)

yup.. this is another item to put into the bin of items that prove the world will be better off if we kill ourselves off as quickly as possible.
honestly how long till our short sighted nature and idiotic religious notions that all of the life on this planet is ours to do with as we please kills us and takes most if not all of this planet with us.

as for the idiotic reply this post will get about 'removing myself first' well you lead the way and i promise I'll follow :)

Sealab 2021? (1)

spyinnzus (923219) | more than 7 years ago | (#17277812)

Gentlemen, I have taken nature's most dangerous killing machine, and needlessly made it a robot.

Tracking Tags (1)

X-rated Ouroboros (526150) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278028)

I was thinking about how we'll tag whales and dolphins with low power radio collars. It tracks time and depth and maybe a few other parameters. When the animal surfaces to breathe, the tag squirts off its collected data.

Why not tag animals with something that measures, say, salinity and temperature and then gives this data to our submarines? Or that detects the presence of explosives trace? Radiation? Large sound transients... like a mobile living hydrophone network.

This isn't new (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17278146)

For several years, surveilance groups have been able to implant tiny video cameras in the eyes and small microphones in the ears of peoples' pets. It has been a great boon to the FBI. I even call my hamster FBI!

oh good (1)

1ntegral (792901) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278254)

Hooray, we're yet again selfishly messing around with nature, causing it to substantially deviate from its normal patterns. The funny part will be when something gets messed up on a large scale (such as the ocean ecosystem becoming seriously disrupted and so forth) and people will be all surprised and shocked, "All we did was put electrodes in shark brains and have them do our bidding!"

here's an idea (1)

SaberTaylor (150915) | more than 7 years ago | (#17278264)

Let's remote control every shark in existence. Then we won't have to worry about sharks attacking humans any more.

I have a unique and UNREDUNDANT idea (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17279076)

lets put lazer beams on their heads!!

obligatory mashup joke (1)

Wise Dragon (71071) | more than 7 years ago | (#17279562)

In Soviet Russia, Shark jumps YOU!

And... (1)

Cyno01 (573917) | more than 7 years ago | (#17280342)

LL Cool J will be the only one to survive...
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