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# The Death of Clippy

#### CowboyNeal posted more than 7 years ago | from the annoying-desktop-mascots dept.

179

AppScout interviews Office's Group Program Manager, Jensen Harris on the subject of Office 2007. Harris reveals that Clippy, the bane of all semi-sentient Office users everywhere, is officially dead. The decision apparently revolved not around the passionate hatred for the unfortunate sprite, but simply out of a desire for UI coherency.

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### Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (4, Insightful)

#### jellomizer (103300) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962312)

I think the general annoyance of clippy was the fact it kept popping up whenever you did something. In many ways it was actually successful for Office. It showed people that they could use other features that people didn't know it had. Which really did put a nail in the coffin for tools such as word perfect. Now that people know how to do a lot of these advanced features and got use to them, they got frustrated when other word processors don't have or they don't know where the features they enjoy are. That being said because Microsoft successfully monopolized the Office software, they don't need advertise all there features all the time.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (3, Informative)

#### evilbessie (873633) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962480)

"they don't need to advertise all *their* features all the time"...

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (4, Interesting)

#### HappySqurriel (1010623) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962570)

Personally, I think clippy represents what is wrong with office more than anything else. For most users Office is far too complicated, and has far too much functionality, so it "needed" a way to inform average users how to use some of the features.

Personally, I see three classes of Office users and there seems to be a reasonable argument that there should be three seperate classes of Word/Office for these people; the classes are students/home use who want something which they can write a paper or resume on, office workers who want a little more control over their presentation, and professionals who want complete control over their presentation.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962746)

Ehh, can't agree here, students very often need lot's of control of their documents / presentation too and use much more functions than your average John Doe the Office Worker.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (2, Interesting)

#### riscthis (597073) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963086)

Personally, I think clippy represents what is wrong with office more than anything else. For most users Office is far too complicated, and has far too much functionality, so it "needed" a way to inform average users how to use some of the features.
Hence when Microsoft massively overhauled the Office 2007 UI, with the idea that people can easily find this functionality, Clippy became obsolete and was removed. I *think* Clippy may actually have been switched off by default in new installs of Office 2003 (or possibly XP.)

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (3, Interesting)

#### digitig (1056110) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963592)

Unfortunately, they overhauled the UI in a way that IMHO completely fsailed to help people find the functionality. The previous UI, with menus and toolbars, for me was a model of a tidy workshop, with most tools tidied away in logical places (the menus), and just the tools one uses a lot or are using just at the moment left out (on the toolbars).

The Office 2007 model, on the other hand, for me is a model of tipping out the contents of every draw and box in the workshop into a heap in the middle of the workshop floor (the ribbon) and having to search through it every time you want something. There doesn't seem to be any useful way of configuring it to particular styles of use, so whenever I wanted anything from the ribbon I was confronted with a huge block of the screen on my laptop taken up with options that I had set up once and for all in the template.

I could go into a lot of other things that I think are wrong with the Office 2007 UI (I tried the beta for two months, and I reckon by the end of that time it was still dropping my productivity by 20%-30%) but that's the main one that I think is related to the death of Clippy. Unfortulately, I think Clippy is needed more than ever, but needs to be equipped with a laser pointer to indicate the bit of the ribbon we should be looking at :-(

### Obligatory Clippy quote (2, Interesting)

#### ady1 (873490) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963794)

It seems like you are remaking the UI. Would you like help with making it more disneylandish?

On a serious note, I honestly don't get it. The new interface is pretty cartoonish (though simple to use for a first time user). If clippy isn't coherent with this UI than I don't know what is.

Also the big overhaul isn't about coherency in the first place since to change the color of outlook interface, you have to open MS word and customize it's options.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### Short Circuit (52384) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963570)

Abiword [abisource.com]
OpenOffice [openoffice.org]
LaTeX [latex-project.org]

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### Steve001 (955086) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963596)

HappySqurriel wrote:

Personally, I think clippy represents what is wrong with office more than anything else. For most users Office is far too complicated, and has far too much functionality, so it "needed" a way to inform average users how to use some of the features.

Personally, I see three classes of Office users and there seems to be a reasonable argument that there should be three seperate classes of Word/Office for these people; the classes are students/home use who want something which they can write a paper or resume on, office workers who want a little more control over their presentation, and professionals who want complete control over their presentation.

I agree that MS Office needs versions that are suitable for different types of users, while the files themselves remain compatible between the versions.

A while ago (at the time of WordPerfect 5.1) the makers of WordPerfect addressed this by coming out with a simpler version of their word processor called "LetterPerfect." It was:

• Completely compatible with WordPerfect with the same interface.
• Featured only the features that home users actually needed and that worked the same way they did in WordPerfect
• Was much less expensive that a full copy of WordPerfect (less than 1/5 of the cost).

I used it for a while and it had all of the features that I needed at home, and it was virtually identical to WordPerfect during use.

As the previous poster mentioned, this is something that is needed with MS Office. Its unfortunate that it could not start with a basic install that preloads a standard set of features for all users, then add new features as needed by the individual users.

### It looks like you're trying to post to Slashdot... (5, Funny)

#### celardore (844933) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962706)

Would you like help:
• Trolling
• Being interesting or informative
• Posting something obvious
• Flamebaiting
Drat, there's no help for being funny =(

### Interesting yet not surprising... (3, Interesting)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962732)

"The decision apparently revolved not around the passionate hatred for the unfortunate sprite, but simply out of a desire for UI coherency"

Translation:

We got rid of it for our own internal reasons, and not out of any desire to give users what they want - in adherence to our standard business practices.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (4, Insightful)

#### drsmithy (35869) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962742)

I think the general annoyance of clippy [...]

Funnt thing is, most non-expert users I've interacted with actually _like_ clippy (well, they often change it to another avatar, like the silly little dog, but the point is they like the idea of a "helper").

The help system that sits behind "Clippy" is excellent. It does what its designed to do very well - the problem expert users have is that they're not interested in what it does.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (4, Funny)

#### Skater (41976) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963182)

I think what bugs me most about Clippy these days is that one of my coworkers uses Word with it turned on...and her speakers turned up. Way up.

So every time she saves a file, I hear: "*click* *clank* *ker-chunk*"

Yes, she's quite inconsiderate about making noise - all day I hear "AAHAAHHHH! I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE GETS ANYTHING DONE AROUND HERE!!" (referring to the amount of email she gets), and similar things. Yeah, thanks for spreading the disruption around, lady.

My boss is no help - well, more correctly, she sympathizes, but she also realizes that we're never going to be able to change this woman's behavior, so the rest of us have to suffer or use headphones and turn the music WAY up to drown out her rantings.

She and Clippy deserve each other.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (2, Funny)

#### mooingyak (720677) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963564)

I had to deal with a woman like that once. Fortunately she was also wildly incompetent so she got fired eventually.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### Kierthos (225954) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963906)

I would like to point out that it is very easy to change this woman's behavior.

You just need to use a large enough hammer.

### Clippy's hints were often unrelated to the task. (2, Insightful)

#### danimrich (584138) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962864)

Some time ago, I was writing a lab book with Word. I had already typed more than a page when Clippy suddenly realized something and came up with the following dialogue (translated):

"Apparently you're trying to write a letter. Please choose one of the following options:
[ ] Use the letter assistant.
[ ] Write the letter without assistance."

Clippy gave me no other choice, I needed to select one of these options.
I'd have chosen the following if it were available:"[X] Stop bugging me, this isn't even a letter!"

### Re:Clippy's hints were often unrelated to the task (4, Insightful)

#### Fred_A (10934) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963186)

This exactly sums up my experience with those little assistants.

While the idea in itself isn't bad, the execution just didn't work. The help offered was either completely off the mark (as above) or apparently targeted at people who had seen a computer for the first time just the week before (a bit like the Windows on-line help - this is how you format a floppy).

I haven't used MS office a lot since I don't use Windows but get exposed to it every now and then and could use a decent interactive assistant since I don't know my way around it very well. OTOH of course it's pretty much the same as any other such piece of software so I can always find what I'm looking for by poking around a bit. But a competent assistant would be a time saver.

It would however be very difficult to do properly.

I guess users are better off without the assistant than with screen space devoted to a useless one.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### Giometrix (932993) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963014)

"Now that people know how to do a lot of these advanced features and got use to them, they got frustrated when other word processors don't have or they don't know where the features they enjoy are. That being said because Microsoft successfully monopolized the Office software, they don't need advertise all there features all the time."

Well, that, or the new ribbon interface puts the "unknown" features in front of the user, making Clippy pretty much useless.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### The Spoonman (634311) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963214)

That being said because Microsoft successfully monopolized the Office software, they don't need advertise all there features all the time.

In other words: "since Microsoft made their product easier to use despite being more feature-rich, they dominated the market." That's no an act of monopoly, that's just good business. If only open source developers could figure out that if they want people to use their products, their products have to be usable. No more "I don't write documentation, I'm a developer. Read the source code if you want to know how it works" or "I don't have time to put in the features you want. Put them in yourself if they're not there and submit a patch...which will then be summarily dismissed because it's a feature I think is stupid" or "did you look through the 4000 line config file and verify every undocumented option was set correctly?" (I'm looking at YOU, MythTV-project!) or my all-time favorite "RTFM!" Now, with O2K7, Microsoft has taken a quantum leap forward in interface design and made easy enough that the quintessential grandmother can use it to its full potential. I balked at the ribbon myself until I actually used it. Honestly, they got their "wow" out of me after just a couple of minutes using it. Clippy isn't needed anymore, and while most techies will not mourn his death, most users will...until they realize he's no longer necessary which should take them about an hour.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (2, Interesting)

#### digitig (1056110) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963696)

Now, with O2K7, Microsoft has taken a quantum leap forward in interface design and made easy enough that the quintessential grandmother can use it to its full potential. I balked at the ribbon myself until I actually used it. Honestly, they got their "wow" out of me after just a couple of minutes using it.
That's not the word I used after a couple of minutes, and even after a couple of months it was seriously impairing my productivity. Yes, sure everybody who looked at it said "wow", but it was a different matter in practice. There's so much wrong with it, even in terms of established and reliable UI design principles, that it's a huge step backwards (I wish the designers had read "About Face", a Microsoft Press book on UI design -- there's a lot wrong with it, but it's right enough to show the O2K7 interface up for the usability disaster that it is). And the biggest issue is that the ribbon can't be configured, so stuff I know I won't use more than once a year (the stuff I build into templates) still has to clutter my desktop and distract me from whatever it is that I do need.

### Re:Clippy did its job... Unfortunatly. (1)

#### hey! (33014) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963220)

It did it job. But at what cost?

The problem is the attitude that you can use the user' attention to achieve your goals.

### Don't go, Clippy (5, Funny)

#### Lazerf4rt (969888) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963224)

Sure, it's easy to only remember the bad times. But who among us can honestly say we won't miss him? His knowing winks, his cute little antics. His sage, though sometimes random and unrelated, wisdom. I already feel a piece of my heart missing and I fear it will never be clipped back together.

Cue Cinderella's "Don't Know What You've Got Til It's Gone".

### RIP Clippy (0)

#### Ice Wewe (936718) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962322)

...And why'd it take so damn long?!

### Re:RIP Clippy (0)

#### Darundal (891860) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962398)

...and thus the people rejoiced.

### This must be a sign that Bill is really not as (5, Interesting)

#### Growlor (772763) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962842)

influential or at least not as feared by MS leadership. The REAL reason clippy was inflicted on us was because he was (as another slashdot poster mentioned) the "last piece of MS Bob technology." The project manager for MS Bob is now better known as Mrs Bill Gates.

### I hope slashbots end the joke as well (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962342)

With the official death of clippy, does this mean slashbots and MS-haters will give up the endless references to it whenever they insult Microsoft?

I mean, Microsoft Bob died almost 20 years ago, but people are still beating on that old horse to this day.

### Re:I hope slashbots end the joke as well (1)

#### AndroidCat (229562) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962522)

It only seems like 20 years ago. [wikipedia.org] In many ways, Clippy (and other MS Agents) are the last remaining pieces of "Bob Technology".

### Goodnight sweet prince (5, Funny)

#### Salsaman (141471) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962346)

I just heard some sad news on talk radio. Clippy, the Microsoft assistant, was found dead in his Redmond, Seattle apartment this morning. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (5, Funny)

#### JamesTRexx (675890) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962396)

I suggest we all shut down our pc's for a minute at noon tomorrow in remembrance of his death.

After which we all celebrate by installing *BSD and Linux. Clippy would have wanted it that way.

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (4, Informative)

#### TCM (130219) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962774)

Beware, though. He might just come back [sourceforge.net] .

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (2, Funny)

#### Brad1138 (590148) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963582)

For 1 minute on Sunday the percentage of /.ers enjoying the outdoors increased 10,000%

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (5, Funny)

#### 10e6Steve (545457) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962426)

He will be buried next to Microsoft Bob.

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (5, Funny)

#### jjeffries (17675) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962576)

I heard he was found almost completely straightened out, stuck in the emergency eject hole of an old 4x CD-ROM drive... he'd also been receiving emails threatening that someone was going to "f***ing kill" him, yet they're calling it a suicide!

He will be interred next to his cousin Bob in the solid-gold family crypt.

#### tverbeek (457094) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962704)

"And, has thou slain the Clippywock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
Good heavens, that's almost ... almost... enough reason to suggest upgrading to MSOffice 2007. Of course the fact that the rest of the UI is being needlessly changed is enough reason to suggest not upgrading. "You seem to be trying to figure out how to open a document, or where the hell the Tools menu disappeared to. Would you like to take a remedial word processing class to learn how we want you to do it now?"

### There's a couple more "features" they could lose.. (1, Redundant)

#### Xanius (955737) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962804)

Well the new UI fits better with vista and for the lower end users of word, you know the ones that could never afford to buy it anyway, everything they need is right there in the shortcuts. My problem with word is that it has too many damned retarded features that will make me strangle a man with his own tie if I ever see him using them in a business report. My schools business college requires I take a fundamentals of the PC class, which is actually a class dedicated to microsoft products. Word,Power point, and excel, I figure I can pass this no problem so I go to take the test and it wants me to tell it how to put a specific type of word art in the paper or how to add embellishment to the letters. Why in gods name would I ever use word art in a business report? Do I work for fucking kindergarteners? I know where the word art is, it's hard to miss. But I don't know the names of them and I don't ever want to know the names of them.

### Re:There's a couple more "features" they could los (2, Interesting)

#### Xanius (955737) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962880)

Thank you preview for screwing up and showing me the line breaks but not actually posting it that way...

Well the new UI fits better with vista and for the lower end users of word, you know the ones that could never afford to buy it anyway, everything they need is right there in the shortcuts. My problem with word is that it has too many damned retarded features that will make me strangle a man with his own tie if I ever see him using them in a business report.

My schools business college requires I take a fundamentals of the PC class, which is actually a class dedicated to microsoft products. Word,Power point, and excel, I figure I can pass this no problem so I go to take the test and it wants me to tell it how to put a specific type of word art in the paper or how to add embellishment to the letters. Why in gods name would I ever use word art in a business report? Do I work for fucking kindergarteners?

I know where the word art is, it's hard to miss. But I don't know the names of them and I don't ever want to know the names of them.

### Re:There's a couple more "features" they could los (1)

#### Fred_A (10934) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963222)

Any so called "Fundamentals of the PC" class should automatically fail anyone who writes a business paper with some wordart or any Comic font.

Took me ages to get people to write properly in the companies I've been in.

#### Kuciwalker (891651) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963372)

It's not needless. The new UI kicks ass and is actually much easier to use than before. Boo-hoo, you'll have to spend fifteen minutes figuring it out.

#### tverbeek (457094) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963458)

It'd only take me fifteen minutes to figure out. For the countless computer users out there who operate their machines by rote, without understanding any of the whys and wherefores of them, it's going to be hours of confusion and retraining in order to continue performing job tasks that they were able to perform with previous versions. That's "needless".

### The Tragedy of Prince Clippy ... (3, Funny)

#### KwKSilver (857599) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962792)

It's far worse than the media are reporting. Rumors of Clippy's impending dismissal have been bubbling around for years, and they had finally started to wear the noble Clippy down. First he started stopping on the way home for a couple or three double shots. This made his wife, Tacki, suspicious and she started nagging about that and asking when he was finally gonna get a promotion. Well, he asked & they promised him the job that was ultimately given to Ozzi.

Folks tried to tell him not to count on it, but he ignored them, saying "Would Chair-boy lie to me? Never!" When that news broke, so did Clippy. Lots of double-, and triple-shots, and he was occasionally found wandering around "the Campus" with a bottle of Muscatel in a bag, mumbling incoherently, "To C# or not to C#, that ..." or chanting a strange mantra, "Longhorn, Lamehorn, Foghorn-Leghorn." Treatments didn't help. Eventually, Tacki ran off with with a stapler and his son Gui ended up smoking crack and huffing glue. The final straw, was when his beloved, musically gifted daughter, Bandi, got a "Theo is my Hero" tatoo and joined the OpenBSD project to write theme-songs and documentation. Poor guy, his intentions were really good, and he tried so damn hard.

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (1)

#### FranklinDelanoBluth (1041504) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963266)

Clippy was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Clippy. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Stupid Microsoft Clippy, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.

### Re:Goodnight sweet prince (1)

#### black88 (559855) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963284)

Preliminary reports suggest that Marvin "Clippy" Clippenberg died of an apparent Heroin overdose.
While it is still just conjecture, there are rumors of a connection to the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

### Clippy (2)

#### El Lobo (994537) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962356)

Clippy was a very smart way of showing the user about features that weren't so known for the avarega user. The problem with clippy and other avatars was that it was:

1) A bit silly for the non average user (but it could be turned off anyway)

2) It could be annoying (again, it could always been turned off)

3) It had some kind of a bad timing, showing sometimes a feature that was not related with the action the user was doing, This got better with the time....

Anyway, Clippy is not THAT hated than the average slashdummer thinks, but it's a good thing that he's dead now anyway.

### Clippy is NOT dead ... (5, Funny)

#### tomhudson (43916) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962360)

"The rumours of my death are somewhat exaggerated."

Clippy is alive and well - he's been ported to linux so that we can hate him too ... http://vigor.sourceforge.net/screenshots/ [sourceforge.net]

### Re:Clippy is NOT dead ... (1)

#### Daniel Dvorkin (106857) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962486)

Ah hah, that explains why Microsoft had to have him killed. They could deal with him annoying the shit out of users; that's just business as usual. But blowing off steam by moonlighting as a vaguely gothy, smartass open source H4X0R -- that was just one step too far.

"Clippy, we respect you. You understand that, right? We respect you. We love you. You're part of the Family. We'll always love you. But when you go against the Family's interests ... well, things gotta happen. You know how it is, Clippy. You know how it is."

### Re:Clippy is NOT dead ... (1)

#### houghi (78078) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963028)

Oh, but there are much better examples then that : http://houghi.org/shots/vim001.gif [houghi.org]

### Oh, NOW... (4, Insightful)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962386)

Consistency or not, it was a huge failure of something in the development process.

I mean, the HATE heaped upon poor Clippy, from the most novice to the most advanced of users, is hard to comprehend. For something to be so wrong for such a wide range of users means it is truly bad. How on Earth did this get past the supposedly rigorous user-testing facility that Microsoft has? Nobody said at some point, "You know, that Clippy thing isn't really helpful. It just gets in the way and is annoying." Nobody? For years?

From the article, after talking about people who liked him: "There were also an equal number of people who looked at it as interference or an annoyance..." Equal? Equal?!! What kind of bizarro statistics is MS collecting from their user feedback system that it took them years to figure out the problem and at least turn it off by default?

### TTS and voice in agent (1)

#### Saint Stephen (19450) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962388)

The text-to-speech and voice recognitiion in the other Microsoft agent were pretty cool I thought. It was kind of fun trying to program the gestures.

Maybe they should make a 3d little dude that walks across the top of the Aero glass.

### clippy gone!!!! (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962390)

we need more information on the memorial service. Like when/wheres the wake, funeral, and interment?

### Clippy Resurection! (0)

#### LibertineR (591918) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962392)

Word has it that Scott McNeely is putting together a team to develop a cross-platform Clippy Java Applet, in a last ditch attempt to gain JVM desktop acceptance.

R.I.P.
rust in pieces.

### Hopefully... (3, Funny)

#### AndroidCat (229562) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962410)

The death was not too quick or easy. [photobucket.com]

### Clippy's Mental State (5, Funny)

#### pilsner.urquell (734632) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962424)

The decision apparently revolved not around the passionate hatred for the unfortunate sprite, but simply out of a desire for UI coherency.

Yep, Clippy was definitely incoherent.

### Enough! Clippy was the MAN! (5, Funny)

#### LibertineR (591918) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962456)

Who stayed up with you that night and taught you how to import your old PST's into your new Outlook?

When you were pulling your hair out trying to expose the BCC field, who saved your ass?

Who taught a million admin-assists where to learn how to mail-merge?

IS THAT SO WRONG?

### Re:Enough! Clippy was the MAN! (1)

#### ettlz (639203) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962508)

IS THAT SO WRONG?

Oh, fuck yes.

### Re:Enough! Clippy was the MAN! (1)

#### Fred_A (10934) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963610)

IS THAT SO WRONG?
Didn't it, you know, uh, like pinch ? uh thingy ?

### Somebody took pictures of clippy's death... (3, Funny)

#### Spy der Mann (805235) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962458)

It's kinda gross and gory, but ... *sniff* oh I can't say anything more! It was horrible! *SOB*

http://www.thenoobcomic.com.nyud.net:8090/daily/st rip089.html [nyud.net]

### One of my Nightmares, Unillustrated (5, Funny)

#### ettlz (639203) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962468)

\documentclass[11pt]{article}

"Hello! It looks like you're writing an article. Would you like me to:

• Prepare a set of subsections for you?
• Do a trick?"

"By Lamport's Beard! What are you doing here?!"

"Well, Microsoft chucked me out."

"How the hell did..."

"It's this Emacs thing — got a darn powerful LISP engine, you know. It's very roomy in here."

Meta-M doctor

"Oh, sorry, it's not that big. He's been evicted. Now, about that article—"

"Look... just... bugger off!" [Click!]

\usepackage{amsmath}
\usepackage[varg]{txfonts}

\begin{document}

"Hello! It looks like you're writing an document. Would you like me to:

• —"

"Sod off and die."

\author{The Holy ettlz}
\title{The Art of Paperclips}

"Oh."

"Yes, 'Oh'! Now get out of Emacs before I drag Donald E. Knuth himself over here."

"No need to get nasty. Hmmph."

A few hours later:

Integrate[1/Sqrt[x^3 - 2], x]

"Hello! It looks like you're trying to evaluate an integral. Would you like me to:

• Draw a graph?
• Do a trick?
Oh, and by the way, it's very roomy in here!"

### Who killed Clippy? (4, Funny)

#### rlp (11898) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962498)

It was Steve Balmer in the library with a chair.

### Re:Who killed Clippy? (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963054)

"I sat on it" style?

### Nice try... (1, Funny)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963520)

But we know they don't have Clue over at Microsoft :-)

### Clippy: Do you need help with a post? (0, Redundant)

#### TapeCutter (624760) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962526)

Choose the type of post:
-Fence-
-Slashdot-
-Last-

You chose -last post-, do you want help writing a suicide note?

### Re:Clippy: Do you need help with a post? (3, Funny)

#### ettlz (639203) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962574)

GNAA to lun1x cocksuxx0rs goats
"Hello! It looks like you're trying to troll on Slashdot. Would you like me to:
• Insert a cut-and-paster about trying to run Quake 3 under Linux?
• Find a picture of Natalie Portman and order some hot grits?
• Generate a permutation of the many *BSD/Goatse combos and accidentally forget the hyperlink?
• Do a trick?"

### Re:Clippy: Do you need help with a post? (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963744)

In Soviet Russia, Russians reverse you!

### clippy lives in vi! (5, Funny)

#### eneville (745111) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962534)

anyone seen the vi clippy? http://www.petebevin.com/archives/vim.gif [petebevin.com]

### Lucky Clippy! (-1, Troll)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962538)

Now he can be bangin' Anna Nicole Smith in the afterlife!

### Re:Lucky Clippy! (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963464)

Now he can be bangin' Anna Nicole Smith in the afterlife!

Take a number and get in line, like everyone else...

### Re:Lucky Clippy! (1)

#### Robber Baron (112304) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963486)

Now he can be bangin' Anna Nicole Smith in the afterlife!
It's gonna take something with a LOT more diameter than a paperclip to pleasure that ho! What she needs is something with dimensions closer to a Swingline stapler...

### Thanks Clippy (0, Troll)

#### Markvs (17298) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962556)

For remembering to take Anna Nicole Smith with you.

### Re:Thanks Clippy (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962944)

That was so wrong... yet somehow so right.

### It was a quite reasonable way to get help... (1)

#### robbak (775424) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962580)

and there were people who liked the interface as a way of gettign help.

I'll agree that Office's help system was is quite good: It just didn't need Clippy. Or any of the other... <action type="gags" level="lethal" />

### Enjoy the respite (2, Interesting)

#### smchris (464899) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962588)

I have no doubt there will be many badly flawed milestones to come along the path to a coherent AI assistant. It is something too cool not to aspire to even if the results are going to be awful for years to come.

So far the most memorable I've seen was a shareware "Southern" parody of Microsoft Bob that involved an outhouse and, if I remember correctly, a possum.

### Yes but... (0, Redundant)

#### TheVoice900 (467327) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962630)

... has Netcraft confi.... aw, forget it.

### OH NO BEANTOWN! (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963180)

Somebody set us up the bomb!!

### No more Clippy (I say Clippit) for President? (1)

#### Antony-Kyre (807195) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962698)

No more Clippy, or as I say, Clippit, for President?

### So that's Office 2007 major new function? (2, Funny)

#### gelfling (6534) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962720)

I'm sure the droids in Redmond think this is a quantum leap in functionality too.

### Marketting Spin (1)

#### camperdave (969942) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962942)

"YES Folks! Our new office suite is SO EASY that we've sent Clippy, that paragon of helpfulness, into retirement."

"Open Source always lags behind true innovation. For example, OpenOffice has an annoying pop-up lightbulb to offer unsolicited hints to the user. At Microsoft, we have always believed that a clear, unobtrusive interface is the best way to interact with the user."

### Time to upgrade my Office97! (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962724)

He was the only one holding me back. Thanks, and good riddance!

### While you're at it (4, Insightful)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962738)

Could someone put down that miserable dog in the XP search module?

### The Death of Clippy (0)

#### smoker2 (750216) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962838)

Cool, is it showing on Youtube yet ?

Slashdot requires you to wait between each successful posting of a comment to allow everyone a fair chance at posting a comment.

Even on different stories ?

It's been 1 minute since you last successfully posted a comment

On a different story !

### Re:The Death of Clippy (1)

#### Saint V Flux (915378) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962938)

GAAH!! I hate that crap about not letting you post on different stories! And when it screws up and continually won't let you post! The worst I ever had was "It's been 45 minutes since you last successfully posted a comment" -- 45 f-ing minutes!!!

### Re:The Death of Clippy (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963322)

This is to prevent moronic content-free posts like yours from clogging slashdot like so many turds in a toilet bowl. Fucking youtube? Gimme a break. You are just posting to advertise your stupid website or hear yourself talk, and whining like the bitch you are when it won't let you over-spam the system.

Maybe if you actually *thought* about posting something interesting, intelligent or actually funny the time it would take you to think of it would avoid all the time limits.

### Could you house a poor, rejected help agent? (1)

#### jrothwell97 (968062) | more than 7 years ago | (#17962886)

Every year, dozens of help agents are abandoned heartlessly by their owners. Meet Clippy. He loved his company, and he thought his company loved him. But he was cruelly excluded. He's still waiting for a home. If you could house a help agent like Clippy, call the Society for Lost User assisTantS (S.L.U.T.S.) on 0800 BULL#*@?

### What about the Open Office Clippy Project (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17962948)

This is bad news. Clippy was very useful and was a favorite of Word users worldwide and was loved everywhere. How will this effect the Open Office Clippy Project? There version of clippy will be even more useful helping user to really use OpenOffice and to find these features they want and to really know what they want to do with open office.

From what I read on the open office project their nearly ready to include it in the next oo release. It should be even more useful than the Micro\$oft version that we all knew and all love.

[note: bad grammer and speling required for posting slashdot]

Or not.

### He will be missed (2, Interesting)

#### wootest (694923) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963006)

I never understood the unabashed Clippy hatred. It was certainly a more friendly window to the whole help interface since it's much easier for a novice to ask a question than rummage through indices. It was one checkbox to turn the little bugger off, and you could choose something that you thought was less annoying if that was the problem. (I've almost always used the dog.) Not to mention that he's being going away more and more the past few versions: "It looks like you are writing a letter" is becoming about as relevant as the 95-thru-Me era BSOD.

I agree with the new notions that the Office user interface team has chosen to adopt, like only being able to access a feature from one place. Jensen Harris is a smart guy and I've been enjoying reading his weblog and the trials and tribulations of the Ribbon and the new UI as a whole.

### Big Hello to those missing clippy (1)

#### Thomas the Doubter (1016806) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963208)

A Big Hello to those of you out there missing Clippy. Just remember the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. ...

### Clippit (2, Informative)

#### Known Nutter (988758) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963216)

His name is (was?) actually Clippit, as someone above indicated, not Clippy. While I understand Clippy was his nickname, he's dead now and his proper name should at least be mentioned.

### what about Search Dog? (0)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963340)

You know, the dog that pouts and wags its tail while Explorer churns through 1000's of unindexed files.

### The original clippy was good (4, Informative)

#### ericlondaits (32714) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963360)

When one of the developers/researchers working in MSN Search came to my university to give a one week course on probability based models for search applications he told us that originally Clippy was meant to run with a quite advanced AI (based on a probability model), but was changed before shipping for the much more simpler version we all knew. I'm not sure but I think it was to decrease CPU utilization.

The mostly crappy AI made it extra annoying, the rest is history.

### My prayers have been answered. (1)

#### pdwalker (113292) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963462)

Oh good heavens!

There is a God after all.

### Clippy was vicious... (1)

#### NoMoreNicknames (1062442) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963664)

Back in the day I came home to find my mum on the computer, crying...

Apparently the paper clip was making fun of her...

### They killed the role (assistant), not Clippy! (1)

#### thsths (31372) | more than 7 years ago | (#17963688)

I wonder why people always refer to Clippy. It is an annoying character, no doubt. But the feature is called "Office Assistant", and you can choose from a number of different characters. Einstein is probably just as annoying, but the Cat is rather cute.

### Clippy falls on hard times (1, Interesting)

#### Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#17963852)

XP Media Center includes a desktop dancer program.

One of the characters is wearing a ghost outfit. Occasionally the white sheet slips, revealing the thin curve of steel underneath.

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