Beta

×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

What Vista Is Really Like

kdawson posted more than 7 years ago | from the hotsauce-on-your-meatloaf dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 305

This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful? That's Vista for you.

cancel ×

305 comments

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

Oh for sure. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136190)

This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?

That happens to us all the time, and we slashdotters JUS DUN GIV A FUC. That's how badass we are.

Re:Oh for sure. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136202)

...She poured hot grits down my pants. She took my penisbird into her mouth.

Re:Oh for sure. (5, Funny)

j35ter (895427) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136328)

No, I think the author *really* needs to get laid.
Does he jack off while using Vista?

Re:Oh for sure. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136382)

No, I think the author *really* needs to get laid.

He has a LiveJournal. Isn't that obvious enough?

(Been there myself.)

Vista Woman (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136530)

Yes, she was beautiful last night when you were pissed up on booze, but now, laying next to her, you notice how her face is covered in oozing rivers of makeup, slowly melting and running down her face. You are disgusted by her foul, pitted skin and faint moustache effect. She yawns, and your face is blasted by an unholy, eldritch gas, you recoil and wretch, struggling to keep what remains of last night's kebab and chips in your stomach.

Terrified you slowly peel back the duvet to reveal breasts that are so small that sagging should not be possible; yet sag they do, with two terrible, craggly nipples point out in unrelated directions. You begin to feel faint, your ears begin to ring, but you cannot resist scanning down her fetid, clammy belly, to see the most rotten vagina that has ever blighted this earth. With lips twisted, gnarled and gaping, the stench is unimaginable; a mixture of stale kippers, mouldy garlic and fuming sulfuric acid, you are amazed that your sheets are still in once piece. Oh yes, you grab the hot sauce alright, but only pour it in your eyes so you can no longer see what lies before you, and force it into your nose so the odour can no longer torment you.

Waking dream?? (3, Funny)

fred911 (83970) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136200)

It's called a wet dream....

Re:Waking dream?? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136268)

No, its called my PSYCHO ex-gf. Awesome in bed, but *shiver* psycho.... *shiver*
Kinda like when you've been tied up and she goes down stairs and you hear kitchen utensils rattling and this was just after Basic Instint (one, yes a long time ago).... *shiver*
Never again! I swore to myself, never again!!!! ... ..
.
Then I got married.........
*shiver*

Re:Waking dream?? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136660)

She is demanding, spies on you and phones home complaining about your other software, very controlling not let you look at/think about other girls etc. She is big fat bitchy and controls what you want to watch or listern to.

In the end you'll get screwed. Do you want to stay with her and get screwed for life? Get out while you still can.

Re:Waking dream?? (3, Funny)

bl8n8r (649187) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136770)

on the contrary, this wet dream can give you infections.

Cue Cheap Trick (1)

smitty_one_each (243267) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136842)

"Surrender"

Mother told me, yes, she told me I'd meet girls like you.
She also told me, "Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch."

Re:Waking dream?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136806)

Let me remind you all AGAIN. The OS previously known as Longhorn, and renamed to Vista, has once again been renamed. The new name is Microsoft Windows Fista. Because using it is like getting fisted.

Why any one would buy Fista now knowing what we know about it is beyond me. Not only is the dang thing annoying it is broken, buggy, a security risk, and really has no new features any of us need.

Give me Win 2000 or Win XP with a good (not Microsoft) firewall and anti-virus pacakage, and I am set.

Hmm... (1)

eklitzke (873155) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136204)

Hmm.... sounds good to me -- I'll take it!

Re:Hmm... (1)

jctull (704600) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136250)

I suppose if you are into autoerotic asphyxiation [wikipedia.org] (remember, she's not real), this might be a "good thing." Not my idea of a good time though.

Only... (5, Funny)

reality-bytes (119275) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136226)

The trouble is; she is "Britney Spears" beautiful rather than "Natalie Portman" beautiful. ...so you have to ask yourself, do I need baldilocks or do I need hot grits?

Re:Only... (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136440)

Natalie Portman was bald for a while for one of her movies, actually. Riddick or something like that. At any rate, if you're not Tom Morello, Patrick Stewart, or Mahatma Gandhi you probably shouldn't be going for bald as a fashion choice.

Re:Only... (2, Funny)

StarfishOne (756076) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136558)

/me adds Bruce Willis to the list ;)

Re:Only... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136742)

Telly Savalas and the ghost of Yul Brunner are waiting outside to kick y'all's butts.

Re:Only... (1)

dreamlax (981973) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136758)

She shaved her head in V for Vendetta. When she was on Letterman her hair hadn't grown back much and she still looked like a boy.

Re:Only... (3, Insightful)

Cadallin (863437) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136790)

Yeah, I'll pass on "Brittany Spears" "beautiful." I prefer something more classically beautiful than trendy white trash thank you very much.

Oh Please (5, Funny)

abscissa (136568) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136240)

This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?

I'm gay. I'd panic.

Re:Oh Please (5, Funny)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136594)

I'm gay. I'd panic.

Would you do Bill Gates? In his prime?

Re:Oh Please (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136686)

Depends if he lets me sleep on his bed full of money or not.

-Other gay user

Please, please me, oh yeah. (-1, Troll)

twitter (104583) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136772)

I'm gay. I'd panic.

Bill Gates told me that you were using a Mac, so I think you will be OK. Vista would look ugly to you, regardless of sexual preference. Vista is only beautiful to people who have been looking at the world through XP beer goggles. When the fog clears, they will chew their arm off rather than wake Vista.

Previous versions (5, Funny)

hack slash (1064002) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136244)

But will she go down on you as much as previous incarnations?

Re:Previous versions (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136568)

I think that is concern in your eyes when she asks you if you would like to upgrade to her sister, with different capabilities, for a price. And then you realize what just happened.

Re:Previous versions (1)

mrbluze (1034940) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136782)

I swear this has to be one of the funniest comments I've read on slashdot in months!


Still in tears from the stomach pain - I think I just laughed myself into a hernia


Re:Previous versions (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136858)

If i where you, i would be more worried about her catching STD's from all the other people shes screws, hiding the evidence right in front of you.

A beautiful woman? (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136246)

What a horrible analogy. If I found a beautiful woman in my bed, I'd be fine with that. The fact that she's crazy can be overlooked, since I'm just there for the fun and she can go be crazy somewhere else for the rest of the day. Beautiful only goes so far, after the hormones take a hike the personality takes over and you realize you really can't be bothered to be near all that crazy for any length of time. Applicable to people and OS's :)

Re:A beautiful woman? (4, Funny)

Dunbal (464142) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136520)

The fact that she's crazy can be overlooked

      I wouldn't be so sure [wikipedia.org] about that...

Re:A beautiful woman? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136546)

I meant for short term purposes... Not marriage of course.. Sanity is important there.

the comparison... (2, Insightful)

User 956 (568564) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136256)

what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful? That's Vista for you.

Yeah, but the problem with women like that is that they're like chocolate. Sweet at first, then increasingly bitter.

Where the fuck do you get your chocolate? (1)

BlackTriangle (581416) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136514)

Chocolate is either sweet OR bitter ; if you eat too much sweet chocolate, it becomes gross, not bitter. Either you've got some damn magical chocolate or the analogy policy need to take you away and put a bullet through your head.

Re:the comparison... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136590)

> Yeah, but the problem with women like that is that they're like chocolate. Sweet at first, then
> increasingly bitter.

So you stick to guys now, eh big boy? Or does your current wife/gf know what you think of her?

Re:the comparison... (5, Funny)

mshmgi (710435) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136838)

Personally, I like my women like I like my coffee ... cold, dark and bitter.

So... (1)

keytohwy (975131) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136262)

I can only use Vista in Vegas?

My experience (5, Funny)

Stephen Tennant (936097) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136272)

I wake up early, on an angle, tucked into a large mass of flesh occupying the majority of my small bachelor apartment. As I look over at the walls, I see they are made of glass, and as I struggle to extricate myself from the monolith of apparent woman, so as to see the whole better, I hear a rumbling voice from within,

"DISPLAY PROPERTIES NEEDS YOUR PER-PER-PER-"

The whole building collapses.

A LiveJournal Blog from a Bad Writer? (5, Insightful)

smack.addict (116174) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136274)

Why?

Re:A LiveJournal Blog from a Bad Writer? (1)

Threni (635302) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136630)

My thoughts exactly. "That's not writing - that's typing", as LiveJournal might want to have in large print at the top of their front page.

Re:A LiveJournal Blog from a Bad Writer? (4, Funny)

gEvil (beta) (945888) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136710)

A LiveJournal Blog from a Bad Writer? Why?

I thought the whole thing was pretty self-explanatory...I mean, isn't bad writing why LJ exists in the first place?

Re:A LiveJournal Blog from a Bad Writer? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136718)

i was thinking the same thing. things tend to get worse. this website has proven itself a non exception to such rule.

I know that dream (5, Funny)

mustafap (452510) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136294)

>what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous...

and you reach down and discover she has a dick.

Re:I know that dream (5, Funny)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136622)

and you reach down and discover she has a dick.

MS Help Line: "But, Sir, that is a bonus feature. We added lots of little extras so that everyone finds what they want. You don't have to use it if you don't want."
     

Re:I know that dream (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136644)

The DRM dick?

Re:I know that dream (2, Funny)

twitter (104583) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136814)

you reach down and discover she has a dick.

When you sit up, something is sore.

Yeah. . . (4, Funny)

Who235 (959706) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136302)

This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?


Too bad she's bloated and stops you a hundred times whenever you try to do anything interesting.

Re:Yeah. . . (1)

Dullin (854624) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136388)

Congratulations.

You just got yourself a RTFA award.

Please go to the bottom of the linked page to retrieve it.

Ugh (1, Informative)

HomelessInLaJolla (1026842) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136526)

I read the first few paragraphs of the article. It was some of the most disgusting crap I've ever read--lascivious, l3wd, suggestive in a creepy and unwholesome way, prurient. It would've been okay if the author dropped the whole "wouldn't you like to have a woman" objectification after the first paragraph. As it was I was left with the impression that the author exhibited a writing style which would be typical of a man who makes a hobby out of buying (and prides himself on the knowledge of) women's underwear just so that he can wear them on his head while viewing pr0n--and not necessarily becoming ually aroused while doing it either (look, I don't care if the guy does know the clothier's terminology of every piece of women's underwear, and I don't care if he does wear them on his head while viewing pr0n... but if he's wearing women's underwear and viewing pr0n then it should be part of a s3xual expression--not a written piece about Windows Vista). I usually call it "flaming" where the flamer is trying to pass off flagrantly obnoxious behavior as perfectly normal.

The Information Bar in Internet Explorer (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136312)

Just recently I encountered the monstrosity of the Information Bar in Internet Explorer for the first time (forced to use it at work).

Only Microsoft would decide to send up a pop-up to your computer screen each and every time it blocks a pop-up, to announce to you it has blocked a pop-up!

(And don't lie and respond back that the Information Bar is easily deletable. It isn't; doing so causes issues; and doing so at work requires buy-in from the boss, who won't buy it. So every time I am required to see Microsoft popups again ... and again ... and again. Aaah, it is so refreshing to come home to Linux at night.)

Beautiful, Microsoft. Having now seen a glimpse of a piece of Vista in action, I have no worries for Linux or Firefox. Free software's future is secured, because with Vista, the Microsoft stupidity simply continues ... big time.

It's not like having a pretty girl in your bed. It's more like living with the incurable social disease she passed along to you while you were getting it on.

Re:The Information Bar in Internet Explorer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136808)

You do realize that Firefox does the same exact thing when it blocks a pop-up, right?

Are they even trying anymore? (3, Insightful)

tomstdenis (446163) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136318)

Vanity article about Vista ... again ...

I'm not against Vista [though I am], I'm not for it [truth], I just don't care. Are we not yet over the novelty of Vista yet or what? It's basically Windows XP++, big deal.

Tom

Re:Are they even trying anymore? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136386)

I actually wish it was XP++.

MS did so much and I gained so little.

The irony is Linux is better looking (1, Flamebait)

Colin Smith (2679) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136410)

A couple of simple add ons to Ubuntu [youtube.com] and you can easily make Vista and OSX users insanely jealous of your working environment.

 

Re:The irony is Linux is better looking (2, Insightful)

jcr (53032) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136566)

That's a pretty clever demo, but it hardly makes me jealous. If Linux comes up with tools in the future that top Quartz Composer, Cocoa, CoreData, CoreVideo and CoreAnimation, then I'll use them.

-jcr

Re:The irony is Linux is better looking (3, Informative)

beelsebob (529313) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136796)

Not really -- the prettiness in OS X is used to make the OS easier to work, the prettiness there is pretty much useless -- the only thing I see as being useful is being able to drop something onto the dock from anywhere along the bottom saves the need to be accurate. This is one reason why vista got it wrong -- Exposé goes out of it's way to show you lots of stuff at the same time so you can make an informed choice. Flip 3D in the mean time may be prettier, but it goes out of it's way to hide everything except for one window -- it can't be used to make comparisons, it can't be used anywhere near as fast as Exposé to change windows. Bob

Hi I'm Windows Vista and I .. (4, Funny)

mochan_s (536939) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136320)

Since we are anthropomorphizing and all ..

I'd say Vista is like a fat ugly lady dressed in very nice clothes. And, I'd say Vista users are like those people looking for a sugar mama going after glitz.

This is slashdot, wrong analogy (5, Funny)

plopez (54068) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136326)

What you are describing is inconcievable to most of the posters. You might try: "imagaine a 16way AMD box, a real screamer for SETI, molecule folding etc., also fully modded to use the waste heat to make espresso but would randomly shock you and download kiddie pr0n without your knowledge'.

That might be something a slashdotter understands.

Re:This is slashdot, wrong analogy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136414)

But a slashdotter would fix the grounding on that and then install Linux on it. :)

Re:This is slashdot, wrong analogy (1)

nomadic (141991) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136480)

Yeah, at least throw in a Star Trek analogy or something.

Re:This is slashdot, wrong analogy (1)

Narishma (822073) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136756)

Actually a slashdotter would understand this analogy perfectly well, provided you reversed it.

I'm from Utah... (4, Funny)

SammysIsland (705274) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136330)

I have many partitions.

I'd like to trade! (5, Funny)

Courageous (228506) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136340)

So. I have Vista installed on my home computer.

Can I trade it for that beautiful and dangerous woman you are talking about?

Re:I'd like to trade! (2, Funny)

MarkRose (820682) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136572)

One would think you'd be Courageous enough to find one on your own...

Whiny blogger (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136358)

Whiny blogger that apparently needs to get laid... BADLY.

Nothing to see here kids...

This description is far too vague (1)

XnavxeMiyyep (782119) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136376)

We Slashdotters have no idea how we'd respond to that. Does this mean we'll have to RTFA?

Re:This description is far too vague (3, Funny)

Dunbal (464142) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136584)

Does this mean we'll have to RTFA?

      Of course not. That would be cheating.

Just what exactly... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136380)

...makes this blog entry notable for /. posting? Is the author some well-known developer, hacker or something, that his anecdotal Vista situation is any more worthy than anyone else's for posting?

expensive whore with stds (4, Funny)

capoccia (312092) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136392)

so vista is like an expensive whore with STDs?

Re:expensive whore with stds (1)

BiggerIsBetter (682164) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136592)

Y'know, that's not a bad analogy either...

Re:expensive whore with stds (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136792)

so vista is like an expensive whore with STDs?

Yes, but being a proprietary product there won't be any Open Sores on her.

Give me a break (0, Troll)

Toddlerbob (705732) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136406)

If the lead article was not a lead article, but was a comment, wouldn't it have been rated troll by now? Okay, maybe it's not negative enough to be a troll. How about troll bait, then? This *is* Slashdot, after all.

So.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136442)

Vista has a penis?

Sheesh.. (3, Funny)

Dunbal (464142) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136448)

You'd think that all these bloggers would accept the fact that Microsoft isn't giving away any more free laptops by now...

What ??? Vista for me.. (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136476)

is like sleeping with a crack ho with no teeth, that you have to pay $1000 each time she feels you're not good enough.

Ugly Little Sister (1)

WiiVault (1039946) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136486)

I think Vista is more of the ugly little sister always trying to immitate the far hotter older sister (OS X). Sure she might be cute, but you've already gotten better.

Keeping up with the Joneses (2, Funny)

RealGrouchy (943109) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136492)

"The question dies on my lips as I reach the foyer. First off, my house now has a foyer. Sunlight streams in through thousands of cut facets. There is so much glass I almost wonder if there are walls. White tile stretches across the floor, forming a beautiful backdrop for stunning furniture and art. My house now has art in it."

"I aksed my neighbour, John MacIntosh, to come over to have a look. He said it looks a lot like his house did when he had it remodeled a few years back. Only his house doesn't have any Windows..."

- RG>

Redundancy? (1)

SocialEngineer (673690) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136498)

The fact that a beautiful woman would be in ANY /.er's bed is strange by itself. We realize that. No need to emphasize the fact that she is strange, because it is plainly obvious that she is warped beyond all belief - or she is a mail order bride.

What the hell??? (2, Funny)

IvanCruz (316505) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136508)

No pics?????

Beautiful? (1)

jcr (53032) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136524)

More like, vista is an ancient trailer-trash jerry springer reject who got a makeover at "glamourshots". Sure, the makeup is almost halfway to passable, but she still weighs 700 pounds.

-jcr

Re:Beautiful? (1)

WilliamSChips (793741) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136762)

She also has multiple personalities, one of which wants to kill you.

Kinda funny, but utter rubbish (3, Insightful)

David Horn (772985) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136528)

Mildly funny, but why does the author go on a rant about viewing the screen resolution? For crying out loud, it's only 3 clicks away from the desktop. Ironically, exactly the same as in XP...

More Vista-bashing? (0, Offtopic)

Blakey Rat (99501) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136552)

Slashdot's only posted 36 Vista-bashing stories this week! Step it up, people! There should be at least ten a day!

Re:More Vista-bashing? (1)

peterbiltman (1059884) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136800)

And yet in one day they manage to post two Google-Apps-Are-So-Great articles, one with numbers that were obviously misleading and downright lies. (100,000 businesses has switched -- including Bank of America -- riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, a bank is hosting its data on external servers)

what if... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136570)

what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?


I'd buy that for a dollar!

not that pretty (1, Insightful)

boxlight (928484) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136574)

As a Mac user I'm at risk of sounding like I'm belly-aching, but I really don't think Vista is that good looking.

The default color scheme, that earthy green blending in to pale yellowy blue -- it all looks kind of ... I don't know ... greasy. Like I'm looking through oily antique glass. It doesn't feel fresh and clean to me.

Also, the way that 3d window swapping thing works, with the windows flying by at an 45 degree angle from top the top left. If gives me a kind of motion sickness -- just seems like an unnatural movement somehow.

When XP came out, I thought most of the OS looked second rate, but they really nailed the default desktop background; the rolling green hills and clear blue sky, it was really refreshing to me. But Vista's default is heavy -- like it needs a wash -- not light and airy at all.

Anyway, just my opinion. Maybe it's just me.

So how was the meatloaf? (1)

Dracos (107777) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136636)

I wish the author had continued his story a little further. I bet he would have discovered that the meatloaf wasn't any better than that of his previous wife, just unnervingly different... with the hot sauce.

MS Wife(C)(R)(TM) 6.0 is no better than version 5.1, except for being more attractive, and slightly psychotic about security instead of inherently lazy.

She is probably even more insistent that you use her mailbox (email), her surfboard (browser), her desk (office suite), and lots of other things she provides, and if you try to go back to your own, she'll break them or set them on fire.

I hope he's not too eager to have sex with her. Most penises won't work with Vista.

But aren't they all (2, Informative)

davmoo (63521) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136656)

she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous

This pretty much describes most of the female population...

Better analogy... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136658)

Vista is like a fresh coat of paint on a run-down, smelly outhouse!

I'm sorry... (1)

SpottedKuh (855161) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136666)

[W]hat if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed...
This is Slashdot; you've already lost us.

So, what's an Apple babe like? (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136676)

So, what's an Apple babe like?

WTF (1)

teoryn (801633) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136698)

When I buy something, I make sure it will do what I want it to, and if doesn't once I get it, then I'll get rid of it and buy something else. This guy just goes out and gets vista, discovers it can't do anything useful but since it has some graphics changes from XP he'll get used to it. That's exactly the apathetic behavior that causes so many things to suck. He really needs to grow a pair and do something about the fact that he just blew a few hundred dollars on a piece of junk. Instead of writing a metaphorical post to live journal he should go find something that does what he wants it to do.

When she said she'd fuck you (1)

tezza (539307) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136706)

... "in ways you could never imagine", you thought she meant sex [stlyrics.com] .

Now all your Base belong to her and she encrypted your CD collection.

I propose a thread, OS as a woman. (4, Funny)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136714)

Windows, pretty on the outside but further examination reveals that it is thick layer of make up applied to an old hag who there for everyone. She is set in her ways and getting her to do anything requires you to spend more money.

OS-X. Extremely pretty but deep down she is an mature lady with a lot of refinement. She however expects only the best so you better deliver. This baby is going to cost you.

Linux, the ugly duckling of the pack, yet she loves you completely without resevervation, she doesn't want your for your money or status. She is open and honest. And if you love her you can turn her into the princes of the ball but unlike the pretty windows, the linux girl stays true to you.

BSD, well, you seen dawn of the dead?

I am KIDDING!

OS/2 A loving hard working wive who raised the kids perfectly, kept the house in excellent condition and always prepared delicious meals followed by amazing sex, yet spurned for a 16 bit bimbo with 32 bit makeup.

Mainframe, you have to wait in line with the other johns, good service but you know thousands of others have been there before you.

Okay, I am out, your turn.

This is news? (1)

peterbiltman (1059884) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136724)

Since when did blogs entries become news sources?

Buy your woman a new dress! (1)

TheTiminator (559801) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136736)

My recommendation:

Stick with the woman you're already married to and buy her a new dress. = Buy Windowblinds (http://www.stardock.com/ [stardock.com] ), and keep your XP.

Give me a break... (1)

Undead Ed (1068120) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136738)

I am really getting tired of reading how wonderful Vista is when what I have seen is stupid, invasive and problematic.

Vista is NOT that BEAUTIFUL - I have seen it's equal in Mac & Linux and have done for years.

Second, it is a battle to get it installed and running. Many drivers don't work or are subject to mysterious crashes. Many promisted features do not work as advertised and don't even get me started on getting a contemporary colour multipurpose, fax/printer/scanner/copier working properly... Hah!

When all is said and done, after paying all that money Microsoft support SUCKS!!! Wanna spend a few hours on the phone talking to IDIOTS who want you to re-install and then admit the problem has not been resolved OR blaming the vendor.

Vista is an overpriced, underperforming, under supported TURD and I am recommending all my clients to stay clear for at least a year if they INSIST on upgrading to Vista.

Now if bullet head fantizises about Vista being a beatiful women, the guy REALLY needs to get laid!

Random Dude

How much??? (1)

russotto (537200) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136776)

...did Microsoft pay for this "story"? Wake up with an evil Bond girl in your bed, you might enjoy your last few minutes on Earth. With Microsoft products, it's just torture for the rest of your life.

I wonder... (1)

harry666t (1062422) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136778)

I just wonder... what if one day I'll wake up with a penguin in my bed.

Well, I'd get its sources, open Blender and Emacs and start hacking :D

Yes it's news for nerds, but does it matter? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18136846)

Don't we all have better things to do than reading some loser describe an operating system as a woman.

What the fuck does this have to do with ANYTHING?

Fcking Flamebait Story? (-1, Flamebait)

N8F8 (4562) | more than 7 years ago | (#18136860)

How the eck does stuff like this get posted? I've been using Vista Business and Office 2007 since the launch. Office is 35% easier to use and Vista around 15%. I'm not even running a firewall or anti virus. No problems. None. Jerks.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?
or Connect with...

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>