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Dresses Made from Wine

samzenpus posted more than 7 years ago | from the julianne-whiskey-pants dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 119

Horar writes "Australian researchers have combined art and science to make dresses from fermented fabric, using bacteria to 'grow' slimy dresses from wine and beer."

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Slimy dresses? (5, Funny)

Alchemist253 (992849) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359033)

Could this eventually bring new meaning to "wet t-shirt contest?"

Re:Slimy dresses? (5, Funny)

RuBLed (995686) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359103)

Well yes but I'm not very optimistic about it because...

from TFA: "But the dresses have to be kept wet, says Cass. Once they dry they become like tissue paper and can easily tear if the fabric is too thin."

It would now become "dry t-shirt contest". The portable hair dryers at Home TV Shopping suddenly sounded great!

Dresses Made from Wine (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359231)

So? wake me up when they start making wine from dresses..

Is this really news?

Re: Dresses Made from Wine (1)

MindKata (957167) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359579)

This is better than wine from dresses, its the start of Alcoholic Edible Clothing!

Re:Slimy dresses? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359315)

In Constitutional Monarchial Australia, wine makes girls put on dresses.

I have a better idea... (5, Funny)

mrbluze (1034940) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359979)

What about dresses removed with wine

I tried that - and it works!

Re:Slimy dresses? (1)

Aaron_Pike (528044) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360001)

Also potentially a new meaning to the phrase, "Beer Goggles."

Re:Slimy dresses? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18360527)

Have any of you above actually SEEN the picutre on the linked website? Beer goggles won't fix that.

Re:Slimy dresses? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18360739)

"She looked like a long cool drink of water, wearing nothing but a
smile and a sultry barolo..."

Slashdot (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359043)

News for girls. That that matters.

Re:Slashdot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18360541)

OMG, Ponies! They should put this dress on a pony! That would be, like, so awesome!

It Won't Go Anywhere (5, Funny)

Elvis77 (633162) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359059)

This will never take off... we Aussies like to drink our wine and beer not waste it on irrelevant things like clothing

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

StrahdVZ (1027852) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359159)

Well, there has been a wine glut [iol.co.za] in Australia over the last few years. For the sake of our livers we have to find more uses for it all. :)

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (3, Funny)

StrahdVZ (1027852) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359181)

Well, there has been a wine glut in Australia over the last few years. For the sake of our livers we have to find more uses for it all. :)


Other than send the cheap swill overseas and charge exorbitant prices for it, of course. We already do that...

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (5, Funny)

Plammox (717738) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359293)

Well, you're effectively killing off French wine here in Europe, with all that Australian, Chilean, South African and (gasp!) American red wines you export to us. I read that Chile alone has experienced a 700% growth in wine exports to europe over the last few years

Not that I mind, we never buy the French stuff anyway, as we think it's just overpriced French farmer morning wee.

So let me just give some thanks to the aussies/chlieans/boers/yanks that you're getting the complacent French out of their comfort zone.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

king-manic (409855) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359611)

Don't forget CA icewine. We're drowning our German competitors in cheaper and better quality on average wine.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

hey! (33014) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360063)

Actually Chile only sends its dregs overseas; or at least the reasonably priced vin ordinaire we see overseas is swill compared to the vin ordinaire you can get there for the equivalent of less than 10 US dollars.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (2, Informative)

hypnotik (11190) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360941)

Interstingly enough, the people here (yes, I live in Chile) say they send all the good wine overseas and the dregs are used on local markets.

You are correct in that very good wine is available fairly cheaply here. Casillero del Diablo is good and reasonably priced. Cusiño Macul is another favorite of mine, especially the Don Luis Chardonnay. I have others that I like, but I'm too tired to remember their names right now..

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

Limburgher (523006) | more than 7 years ago | (#18363139)

Oh, man, though. Two words: Argen tina. Some of the best red you'll ever have. Malbec. $6 a bottle. OMFG is it good with a nicely done steak.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

walt-sjc (145127) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359471)

Actually, you send the good stuff too. Australian wine has become very good, and frequently ends up being much better than a lot of the wine coming out of California, for a LOT less. I just say Kudos, and keep it up :-)

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (2, Interesting)

StrahdVZ (1027852) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359541)

Actually, you send the good stuff too. Australian wine has become very good, and frequently ends up being much better than a lot of the wine coming out of California, for a LOT less. I just say Kudos, and keep it up :-)
Although it pains me to think that 1 good bottle exported is 1 less bottle to drink ;), its good to see that the good stuff makes it overseas. It gets me a bit riled up to see bottles you could buy here for A$8 sold overseas for £30 or US$45. That kind of mass marketing of cheap swill threatens to drag down Aussie wine's reputation.

Thus the earlier cynicism...

'Cheap swill' (1)

ChunderDownunder (709234) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360261)

Yep. when I arrived at a Norwegian airport it seemed the majority of passengers bought either cigarettes or alcohol duty free. I was puzzled to find that the only Aussie wine was Lindemans which is one of the less inspiring reds at home. I realise now that everything is relatively dear in Norway but why not sell the good stuff?

Then again, the Spanish wine they mass import into Australia is rather lame for the price (compared to your average bottle from La Rioja), so it works both ways!

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

strider44 (650833) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359695)

Good is a relative thing. There isn't much bad wine in Australia.

Case in point: a Duck Creek Estate wine was at one point sold for under $10 in Australia while it was worth over $200 in America. This is from the same batch of wine.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

sjwaste (780063) | more than 7 years ago | (#18362511)

So do you buy our Gallo wines for $200, when they're $10 here in the US? :)

Seriously, its no secret, we in America will overpay for anything, ESPECIALLY things we know little about but have high price tags. It's $200? It MUST be good.

I've been buying a lot of "cheap" Australian and Chilean wines here in the US recently, though, in the $10/bottle range. Why? Because the equivalent $10 in a California, French, or Italian wine will be pretty awful unless you really know what you're doing and spot a bargain. And in my state, I'm not finding those bargains like I did back in New Jersey, so I stick with the $10 Australian and Chilean wines, which I find to be fantastic at the price.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

smchris (464899) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360245)

Other than send the cheap swill overseas and charge exorbitant prices for it,

So that's why your stuff always gives me a hangover! (Weirdest thing. Wish I _were_ kidding.)

A lot of South African agrees with me. Even there someone from one of their consulates told me in her opinion it suffers passing over the equator in shipping containers and is distinctly better in-country. Perhaps the same with Australia.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

ChunderDownunder (709234) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360179)

Not this year. With the drought and restrictions on irrigation there's been an under-supply of grapes.

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1)

flanktwo (1041494) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359271)

Just think of the lucky buggers working on this who get access to wine and beer for work purposes!

Re:It Won't Go Anywhere (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359283)

This will never take off... we Aussies like to drink our wine and beer not waste it on irrelevant things like clothing

TFA is incomplete -- they say the dresses are formed on "DEflatable dolls" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). However, they fail to say whether the dresses therefore assume the corresponding cavities which the dolls are equipped with.

In any case, if they're formed on such dolls, I'd be very suspicious of whether all the "slime" came from bacterial fermentation.

hmmm (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359061)

'free' as in clothing?

Re:hmmm (1)

dryekindrew (1002653) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360651)

No, that would be freewear.

Dear Slashdot editors (4, Funny)

Capt'n Hector (650760) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359081)

Dear Slashdot editors, please refrain from posting further stories with SCARY, zombie-like accompanying pictures. Especially at 3:30 AM, EST. Because now I can't sleep. Thank you.

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (2, Funny)

eclectro (227083) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359157)

zombie-like accompanying pictures. Especially at 3:30 AM, EST. Because now I can't sleep. Thank you.

What's even scarier is it was a girl walking torwards you. I need to hide in the basement now.

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (1)

PrinceOfStorms (568367) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359417)

Stay away from the television...

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18363113)

Hate to break it to you, but the zombie picture in question (http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/img/techno/win edress150307.jpg) is a picture of a dude in drag. Other links given by siblings are apparently female though.

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (3, Informative)

Trendy.Ideology (1058410) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359179)

Son of a ... thumb link. ... Here's the right one. http://www.bioalloy.org/projects/images/p-m6.jpg [bioalloy.org]

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (1)

ortholattice (175065) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359805)

If you go up to the directory level (remove the p-m6.jpg from the URL), there are a lot of other interesting images for the related projects they are working on. Here's one of the scientists hard at work [bioalloy.org] , apparently on the beer project. Man, I need to apply for a grant there...

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (1)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359379)

Dear Capt'n Hector its 06:37PM here and while I agree that the picture is pretty creepy I suggest you give your brain a rest once in a while, it will do you good. Sweet dreams.

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (1)

flausch (1076029) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359483)

It says "Image: Micro'be' project" under the picture; I'm really not sure if they're referring to the dress, though. :)

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359549)

Dear Slashdot editors, please refrain from posting further stories with SCARY, zombie-like accompanying pictures.


From TFA:

He noticed that when oxygen got into the vats and turned the wine into vinegar, a slimy, rubbery layer grew on top.


The article later describes how a doll is used to accumulate that rubbery layer. Note the vinegar. Put a real girl in there to accumulate the coating for a dress and she may go beyond being fresh douched to being permanently pickled and might end up looking about like that picture.

College bulletin board sign: Needed Co-Eds volunteers to float naked in a wine vat for a while for the good of science.

Re:Dear Slashdot editors (1)

ArieKremen (733795) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360199)

Your own fault, you HAD to read TFA

*burp* (4, Interesting)

GFree (853379) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359085)

I must be drunk myself. I immediately thought the title was referring to Wine the software instead of the beverage.

"These fashionable dresses are sure to impress, as they are made from a compatibility layer released under the GNU Lesser General Public License."

Re:*burp* (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359247)

No, you're not drunk, you're a nerd. If you were drunk it would be the other way around.

Re:*burp* (1)

GFree (853379) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359429)

Who ever said nerds couldn't get drunk, Mr. Coward?

And who the hell modded my post "Interesting"? Don't know how that worked out

Re:*burp* (2, Insightful)

deniable (76198) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359449)

The mods are drunk.

Re:*burp* (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359869)

No, everyone knows that crack is the slashmod drug of choice.

Go Australia !!! (4, Funny)

The Sith Lord (111494) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359093)

How Australian to make clothes out of booze :)

Reversing the process (1)

fintux (798480) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359325)

Now, I wonder when they will invent a way to reverse the process so that I can make wine and beer of my old clothes.

Re:Reversing the process (1)

Sobrique (543255) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359507)

Personally, I can't think of a worse prospect. I mean, sweaty-sock beer? Let's not even go near the concept of fermenting underpants.

Re:Reversing the process (3, Funny)

Faylone (880739) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359645)

Unfortunately, I think somewhere in my room, some of my clothes are already working on that.

Re:Reversing the process (1)

Sobrique (543255) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360083)

Saves on laundry I suppose.

Who needs a washing machine when you can just add yeast and a bit of water to your laundry basket.

Re:Go Australia !!! (1)

whitehatlurker (867714) | more than 7 years ago | (#18361437)

Especially considering that booze is usually used to make clothes disappear.

Easier Ways (0)

WaZiX (766733) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359095)

I know of easier ways to make your clothes smell like alcohol, ways that actually allow for consumption (although not digestion).

Prom (3, Funny)

cyberbob2351 (1075435) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359109)

Will this make it easier for overly horny high school males to get their prom dates drunk?

*ducks*

Now if only (0)

antifoidulus (807088) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359117)

they could get a woman to model the thing instead of some scary looking goth dude....

Re:Now if only (1)

zakezuke (229119) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359243)

they could get a woman to model the thing instead of some scary looking goth dude....

"The model is also made up to look like a cavewoman and is supposed to be emerging from a primordial swamp, says Cass." -tfa


They were clearly going for the cavewoman look, but they did end up going for the crazy street lady who wears nothing but a trash bag.

Re:Now if only (1)

Gordonjcp (186804) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359327)

They were clearly going for the cavewoman look

Just a thought, but where does a cavewoman get all that white foundation?

Re:Now if only (1)

walt-sjc (145127) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359485)

Well, obviously it's a zombie cavewoman dude from the deep. Duh!

How ironic (5, Insightful)

Legion303 (97901) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359119)

Wine is usually used to make dresses disappear.

Re:How ironic (1)

ady1 (873490) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359373)

After looking at the article (and essentially the accompanying picture), I'm thinking that this one is designed to make everyone disappear (screaming and running).

Re:How ironic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18361513)

And now it'll only happen when dry.

beaten to the punch (3, Funny)

User 956 (568564) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359151)

Australian researchers have combined art and science to make dresses from fermented fabric, using bacteria to 'grow' slimy dresses

Bah. EECS students have been using the "floor pile" method to grow similar clothing for years.

edible undies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359193)

I can't wait for the edible undies.
You could get drunk and laid at the same time......

Re:edible undies (1)

Walt Dismal (534799) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359259)

Oi, mate! Fosters! For the best edible underwear made from Australian fermented beverages!

Re:edible undies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359383)

Next thing you know, they'll be making pants out of vegemite.

Re:edible undies (1)

Dread Pirate Skippy (963698) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360235)

Next thing you know, they'll be making pants out of vegemite.

I thought the point was for the clothing to actually be edible?

ba-dum-pshh

Wet.. (4, Funny)

Leto-II (1509) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359195)

must be kept wet


I'm all for any clothing technology that requires dresses to be wet or else they fall apart. Either way, we win!

Re:Wet.. (1)

DavidD_CA (750156) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359277)

Did you see the model [abc.net.au] in the story's photo?

This is most definitely not a win-win.

I, for one, fear our wine-dress wearing, water-emerging, zombie-lookin' overlords.

Re:Wet.. (1)

WombatDeath (681651) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360567)

Even with a less horrifying model we're still left with the reality of a woman covered in rancid scum. Not my bag, though perhaps the "anything with an orifice" crowd wouldn't object.

Obligatory (4, Funny)

professorfalcon (713985) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359201)

Next up... real beer goggles.

language filter coming up soon (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359463)

So when will the obligatory (and quite enjoyable) ebonics/leet/redneck filter be applied to posts randomly?

Re:Obligatory (2, Funny)

physicsboy500 (645835) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359913)

You'd need them when looking and the girl (guy?) model from the article

it looks like Kiss crossdressing

Jerry Maguire (1)

6ame633k (921453) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359279)

Shut up, just shut up. You had me at "Merlot"

Re:Jerry Maguire (1)

stackdump (553408) | more than 7 years ago | (#18362439)

Please mod parent up, that was great!

I, for one... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359307)

I, for one, welcome our new wet, wine(un)dressed Overwomen!

wine is not an emulator (1)

AlgorithMan (937244) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359345)

Damn, I thought the Windows compatibility layer "wine" (wine is not an emulator) had finally gotten a skin-system...

Re:wine is not an emulator (1)

freedom_india (780002) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359669)

U have been slouching around the CRT for too long...

As long as we have alcohol... (2, Funny)

rubberchickenboy (1044950) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359353)

From TFA: "As long as we have alcohol, these bacteria will do their job."

Clearly, these bacteria work in my office.

bah. (1)

blakmac (987934) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359355)

gives new meaning to the idea of edible undergarments

In other news.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359461)

New fashion created by painting nude girl with glue and rolling her in landfill rubbish .........

alcohol==work (4, Funny)

cerberusss (660701) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359477)

FTFA:

"As long as we have alcohol, these bacteria will do their job,"
In my experience, this prerequisite also goes for software engineers.

Re:alcohol==work (1)

steelfood (895457) | more than 7 years ago | (#18361527)

I think you misspelled red bull.

Stronger when wet? (1)

ja (14684) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359489)

That the fabric gets stronger when wet is an interresting quality. Usually viscosis based products, nomatter how comfortable they may be to wear in the sun, totally disintegrates in heavy showers (yeah, been there ...)

So a combination of this with some oldfashioned 19th century tech might eventually lead to a useful product.

Forgive Me, but (2, Interesting)

Zekasu (1059298) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359497)

FTA:

And to get the shape of a dress, they lifted the layers of slimy cellulose off and laid them over a deflatable doll.

and, also FTA:

Cass is a laboratory technician at the university who, among other things, writes science fiction.

Please forgive me (again), but at 3AM, there are quite a lot of subliminal messages in this article. Of course, I suppose the writer had to have a little humor.

Or a dress to drink.

All humor aside, and some actual logic, you probably couldn't become intoxicated (or at the most, even near intoxicated) from ingesting this dress. In fact, being made mostly of cellulose, it would probably be considred more as a fiber dress, more than anything.

That being said, I guess I'll have to wait for the dress that's really made out of wine, and not several millions layer cellulose made from the fermentation wine.

So this means that... (2, Funny)

StarkRG (888216) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359499)

By the time you're drunk the dress is already off, awesome time saver!

Witchcraft (1)

kitsunewarlock (971818) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359529)

But wait...wine is a liquid...you can't wear liquids! This man is obviously a witch of some kind! And that scary picture is not helping his case...(plus he turned me into a newt...no I haven't got better).
Furthermore, his sheets are much whiter than mine, and he's using an ouiji board to produce these dresses...ouiji boards obviously being some multi-thousand year old old-world device to contact the dead (because, like it or not, the ultimate tool of communication between this world and the next is not some machine like Edison proposed, but in fact a piece of cardboard made by Parker Brothers).

inflatable dolls? (5, Funny)

Hulleye (126367) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359551)

Must have been great to see the reaction of whoever was checking the bill on this experiment

1. 100 bottles of red wine: $2,000
2. Inflatable doll: $50
3. Models for zombie cavewoman photo shoot: $500
4. Look on UWA accountant's face: Priceless

Re:inflatable dolls? (1)

stud9920 (236753) | more than 7 years ago | (#18363629)

Just a small question regarding wine from an European. Is wine that expensive in the US ? It seems to me that besides not being legally accessible to 21- ers, it is bloody expensive.

So how much costs a drinkable bottle (4-5 here)? How much for a good bottle (12-17)? how much for one at a restaurant (20-50) ? I am not talking about "1985 was a fantastic year" here, just recent years wines.

Nice (1)

stuffman64 (208233) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359649)

No more paying to have wine stains taken out of your wife's clothing!

(er, wait... insert standard /. joke about girlfriends and wives)

Wine dress... (4, Funny)

Sutaren (1076051) | more than 7 years ago | (#18359691)

... how about a cocktail dress?

The real question.... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18359901)

Can they do this with hot grits?

Strange": but certainly better than... (1)

blankoboy (719577) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360049)

if it were the reverse: "Wine Made from Dresses!

/especially Monica Lewinsky's dress!

How do they hold up to semen stains? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18361895)

The Monika Lewinsky reference raises the question as to how these dresses will stand up to semen stains.

I'm assuming the Slashdot crowd will generously support the testing effort . . .

Version (1)

wolf369T (951405) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360283)

Damn, I thought that Dressing is yet another Cedega or Crossover flavour of Wine...

This could be trouble... (1)

CFBMoo1 (157453) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360399)

Not only do geeks have to make a will save against this cave woman creature, but now they'll have to make a fort save from the alcoholic aura this thing radiates. No matter what happens with the fort save, I know the will save will get larger penalties as geeks stay around this creature too long from the intoxicating aura of her cloths.

In other news (1)

Joebert (946227) | more than 7 years ago | (#18360497)

R-Kelly is expected to be back in court for urinating on a young female.
It is believed that he will be using the Fermented Clothing defence.

!frist psot. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18360505)

So they used the doll only to make the dress... (1)

wtansill (576643) | more than 7 years ago | (#18361883)

From TFA:

And to get the shape of a dress, they lifted the layers of slimy cellulose off and laid them over a deflatable doll.
I'm sure that they used that doll only for dressmaking and other "scientific" purposes....
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