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Star Trek "DeMastered" Video Service to Launch

Zonk posted more than 7 years ago | from the blast-from-the-past dept.

Television 84

SlashRating©
E
slashdottit! tm
lopy writes "The Star Trek franchise has partnered with the little known DuroSport Corporation to launch a new video download service. The service will offer 'DeMastered' versions of classic Trek episodes. The new releases roll-back the quality enhancements of recent years and attempt to replicate the experience viewers had while watching the original series on TV in the 1960's. Medialoper was given a preview, and they've just posted a scathing review of this odd new service."

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eat it (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568089)

shetbags

Mystery uncovered (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568151)

Slashdot Tit is Cowboy Neal's nickname for his left bosom. The right bosom is The Nippled Avenger.

E?! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568091)

Everyone knows that 2.71828182845904523536... is commonly known as e, not E. C'mon, Zonk, you can do better than that! Aren't you a real geek?

Re:E?! (1)

Scott Lockwood (218839) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568135)

What's the E in E=mc^2 mean, then?

Re:E?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568173)

Energy. Which isn't a discreet number. No, the only constant in that equation is c, 3*10^8.

Re:E?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568257)

google says :
        the speed of light = 299 792 458 m / s

Re:E?! (2, Funny)

Short Circuit (52384) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568325)

That's only true in vacuum. The parent AC must have been referring to a medium where light travels even faster.

Re:E?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568175)

What's the E in E=mc^2 mean, then?
That someone got bored doing the expansion and stopped at the first term?

Re:E?! (1)

nmb3000 (741169) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568241)

What's the E in E=mc^2 mean, then?

I think they just messed up the case. It should in fact be e. The story obviously isn't so good, what with a rating of 2.718 or so.

Of course I think a better rating for most of these stories would be h [wikipedia.org] .

Re:E?! (1)

Volante3192 (953645) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568499)

I thought it was Slashrated E for everyone...

Ripal Uno (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568097)

April Fools. Captcha: Parody [slashdot.org]

Re:Ripal Uno (1)

Dogtanian (588974) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569249)

April Fools?! NEVER!!!!

BTW, this story is so bad that even the Digg crowd haven't gone for it; the "Digg it!" box on its page has reached the grand total of 9.

My turn yet? (5, Insightful)

Mikachu (972457) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568107)

Is it my turn to be modded insightful for no reason?

Re:My turn yet? (0, Redundant)

Bin Naden (910327) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568223)

This post is funny. Mod it accordingly. Thank you.

Re:My turn yet? (1)

daranz (914716) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568239)

Sure, I'll go right ahead and... oh wait.

How to shoot yourself in the foot (5, Insightful)

Monsieur_F (531564) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568303)

Moderators: Mod this post insightful too, please.

Meta-moderators: Mod the moderation unfair, please.

Re:My turn yet? (2, Insightful)

moogs (1003361) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568345)

Mod me Insightful too yay!

Re:My turn yet? (0, Redundant)

SheeEttin (899897) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568477)

How about me?

Re:My turn yet? (0, Offtopic)

SheeEttin (899897) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569747)

Aww...

On a topsy-turvy day like April Fool's... (5, Insightful)

ChePibe (882378) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568899)

It's comforting to see that, in spite of all the strange upheavals on Slashdot, when everything seems to change, people are still regularly modded insightful for no reason at all. It's the one thing that doesn't change on April Fool's.

Re:My turn yet? (3, Insightful)

bcat24 (914105) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569243)

Could I please have one of those delicious-looking insightful moderations?

To make it truly the same experience (1)

zappepcs (820751) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568121)

they need to add to the sound track ... things like:

Hey, you make a better door than window...
Do I have to clean my room NOW?

well, you get the picture

Re:To make it truly the same experience (1)

Brandybuck (704397) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568657)

They way I remember, and the way all those who saw the original broadcasts remember it, is:

"We now interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin..."

Demastered (5, Funny)

dekkerdreyer (1007957) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568127)

Does that mean Kirk shoots first?

Re:Demastered (1)

andy314159pi (787550) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568233)

I laughed, but I must admit that I don't actually get it.

Re:Demastered (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568275)

The bar scene in Star Wars IV in which Han blows away Jaba's agent was changed in later releases so that Han no longer shoots first.

Re:Demastered (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18571627)

Idiot.

(Well you asked for it!)

Re:Demastered (1)

bubkus_jones (561139) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568379)

Seriously? I'm not sure whether you're being sarcastic or not (damn internet).

Re:Demastered (1)

paganizer (566360) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568399)

Kirk ALWAYS shot first; there are some things that can't be altered, the fabric of space-time does not allow it.

Re:Demastered (1)

Profane MuthaFucka (574406) | more than 7 years ago | (#18573173)

I was having sex with a green alien woman last night, and I must admit, I shot first. So, I do not fault Kirk at all for that.

Re:Demastered (1)

MassEnergySpaceTime (957330) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568433)

Kirk: We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill. We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill men!

Re:Demastered (1)

Brandybuck (704397) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568633)

The difference between Star Trek and Star Wars fans: Star Trek fans can get laid.

p.s. They get laid with overweight chicks in Klingon costume and makeup who tend to whine quite a bit about their "issues", but at least they get laid. The best Star Wars fans can hope for is a lubricated foam rubber Yoda handpuppet to wield their light saber.

Re:Demastered (1)

fm6 (162816) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569225)

They get laid with overweight chicks in Klingon costume and makeup
I always seem to end up with bulemic chicks wearing poorly-made spock ears.

Colorblind (1, Offtopic)

DudeTheMath (522264) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568139)

Ooh! Will it automatically switch itself to black and white for those who didn't yet have a color set? It was a long time before my wife knew why "nameless assistant #1" who was the first killed by the monster was referred to as a "red-shirt" ("Did he delay his first year of acting to extend his eligibility?").

Re:Colorblind (1)

sharperguy (1065162) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568351)

you mean a Red Shirted Expendable Crewman? http://www.drfloyd.com/ [drfloyd.com]

Re:Colorblind (1)

that this is not und (1026860) | more than 7 years ago | (#18570715)

The thing is, it wasn't a 'coincidence' or a 'subtle cue' that the landing crew members in the Red Shirt always got killed. It had to do with the people in the Red Shirts being the 'security' staff. Kind of the 'Infantry' of the landing party.

Re:Colorblind (1)

sharperguy (1065162) | more than 7 years ago | (#18576591)

Exactly, they were Red-Shirted Expendable Crewmen!

Re:Colorblind (1)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#18577927)

I think it had more to do with the practical application of having to recast a major role or two every episode.

Re:Colorblind (1)

illegalcortex (1007791) | more than 7 years ago | (#18581523)

It had to do with the people in the Red Shirts being the 'security' staff.
I would have never guessed Uhura was (will be?) in the infantry...

You know... (2, Insightful)

Spazntwich (208070) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568161)

This story might have gotten me if it had been Star Wars instead. This sounds like an idea birthed in the depths of Lucas' infernal mind.

My first comment ever! (-1, Troll)

brianez21 (945805) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568179)

Since this is my first comment ever on Slashdot, can you please mod me +5 Funny for no reason other than to humor me! Thanks in advance :)

Hmmm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568187)

Please note that the battery powered battery charger has no power adapter and must be charged by another battery powered battery charger. Because of this the minimum purchase is two (2) units.
I declare this company a revolutionary.

My favorite part of this service (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568189)

It gets cancelled every few weeks, and you have to start a letter writing campaign to save it.

Re:My favorite part of this service (3, Funny)

Evilest Doer (969227) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568279)

It gets cancelled every few weeks, and you have to start a letter writing campaign to save it.
I would love to see the look on Paramount executives' faces when they notice the "Save Star Trek" bumper stickers someone put on their cars. Or, do we still have to do it to NBC executives just for old times sake? I would only be afraid that Rick Berman would use it as an excuse to make yet another Star Trek series.

This is information... (0, Redundant)

Barkmullz (594479) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568217)


This is information, please mod accordingly.

how retro (3, Interesting)

cyberbob2351 (1075435) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568245)

Those of you who emulate Atari games on your amd64 supercomputers cannot whine.

Sometimes I need that trip to the past, to remind myself how crappy my youth television was.

Re:how retro (1)

that this is not und (1026860) | more than 7 years ago | (#18570721)

We admire you. You always, only, look forward to the progress. The new. The newest!

You throw out your furniture and buy new furniture every three years, right? And you lease your car.

I turn television on once in awhile to remind myself how crappy television still is. Like almost everything for television that's ever been produced. But especially so if you make an effort to watch 'new' stuff as it comes out instead of letting time filter the crap out.

There were some good Star Trek episodes. By mistake, mostly. They didn't let Ellision write enough scripts, for one thing.

Demaster? (1)

andy314159pi (787550) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568253)

is that what you do after you see too much of Uhura [wikipedia.org] in one episode?

Re:Demaster? (3, Funny)

saskboy (600063) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568357)

Unmastered versions are popular too with retro fans. It's better to experience unmastered than the demastered remasters.

Re:Demaster? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568569)

Unmastered versions are popular too with retro fans. It's better to experience unmastered than the demastered remasters.


Are you just saying that to bait us into debating remasters? If so, then does that mean you are remaster-baiting?

Re:Demaster? (1)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#18577957)

+5, Incredible

i've been doing this for years (1)

stoneycoder (1020591) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568265)

wait til it comes on in the middle of the night, and put a 5lb speaker magnet on top of my 13 inch tv, crappy nostalgic goodness.

ps i think the slashdotit thing is broken, has wierd numbers in it etc.. i dig it though hope it stays.. omg ponies

Might have been funnier if not for Tunes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568277)

Now that iTunes has both the original and remastered 1st season, this is a rather week 4/1 post ;-(

Wrong country (4, Funny)

Ed Avis (5917) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568293)

The article refers to the 'original Moldovan broadcasts' of Star Trek. Surely everyone knows by now that the original Star Trek is Turkish [thewavemag.com] . Why didn't they offer Turkish Trek for download?

Re:Wrong country (1)

Brandybuck (704397) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568643)

That's not true. Everyone knows that the original Star Trek was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad...

In Soviet Sci-FI (1)

NeilTheStupidHead (963719) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569357)

star treks you!

Re:Wrong country (1)

Afecks (899057) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568647)

Wow that was a hilarious read. I just had to see that. Happens to be on YouTube, hell it might even be legal too!

video link [youtube.com]

Re:Wrong country (1)

CaptainMunchies (458558) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568863)

Bah! That's nothing compared to Russia's Cosmos Patrol [stim.com] .

E? (3, Informative)

fermion (181285) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568305)

What is E?

NCC-1701E was TNG ship.

Certainly we meant 1701.

Re:E? (1)

Ashtead (654610) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568495)

Either it is that, or it is what the calculator displays when trying to divide by 0. Guess it would have shown as 1701 otherwise.

Re:E? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18569081)

This is not the ship you are looking for...

The Enterprise during the TNG era was the D. You call yourself a geek?

Re:E? (1)

Trogre (513942) | more than 7 years ago | (#18570239)

Well 1701 did used to be a popular error message on PCs with old MFM hard drives. Usually when the second, thinner, cable was accidentally left disconnected.

Ahh, where ever did I put that old XT?

Re:E? (1)

ari_j (90255) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568669)

NCC-1701E was TNG ship.

Yours is the second Geek Card I've hard to revoke this week. The NCC-1701E [wikipedia.org] is, of course, post-TNG, despite being crewed largely by TNG characters.

Re:E? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18569491)

I deem thee a star trek wanna be fan. High on the trivia, low on the soul, probably not even owning the blue prints to the ships, or the technical guides.

All real fans know the Star Trek Universe is divided into two parts. The best, retro, and only real part is Star Trek, with the guys supporting Nichelle Nichols. The other part, that which was remade to maximize the profits off the original, yet derivative, idea, were lame, though entertaining, facsimiles, which critically did not have Nichelle Nichols or anyone of her caliber.

Therefore, it matters not that E was not an official TMG ship. It was not a kirk ship, so it was not a ship worth mentioning.

The sad thing is that TNG was a derivative of a derivative or a derivative, and although I was happy enough during the time it aired, what has come since is mostly crap, and the money could have been spent on a more creative endeavor. Even The Cape, with all it's sillyness, was more interesting than any Star Trek after 1990. This why when a show goes, I just let it go. Holdig onto the past is seldom a good idea.

Re:E? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18571107)

It is when new is better. Star Trek sucked. The Next Generation was good. Deep Space Nine was the best show on TV. Voyager sucked. Enterprise sucked.

Neophobia makes you look like a tool.

Noon Rule (3, Insightful)

fyoder (857358) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568311)

How about implementing the noon rule [bbc.co.uk] , where jokes must be played (posted) before noon in the time zone the joker is in. Otherwise the joker (Zonk in this case) is the fool.

April Fool is dead and gone,
You're a fool to carry it on.

Re:Noon Rule (1)

VJ42 (860241) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568397)

IIRC Slashdot uses GMT; It's long past noon GMT. On the plus side we've only got about 3 and 3 quarter hours to go http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/ [greenwichmeantime.com] .

ffs can we stop this now (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568369)

ALL day? it was boring 12 hours ago

Warmed over Borat joke for Slashdot demographic? (1)

Sad Adam (1036862) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568509)

Is Durosport just a warmed over Borat joke pitched at the Slashdot demographic?

No, I'm not a Moldovan or a Kazakh FYI.

And this Durosport sppof does seem a whole lot less racist (against xUSSR people and Muslims that is).

And for my last demonstration, I will show you t how politically correct and humorless I truly am, here is a link to Moldovan Internet stats:

http://www.loc.gov/rr/international/european/moldo va/resources/md-general.html [loc.gov]

Re:Warmed over Borat joke for Slashdot demographic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568659)

And this Durosport sppof does seem a whole lot less racist (against xUSSR people and Muslims that is).

And for my last demonstration, I will show you t how politically correct and humorless I truly am, here is a link to Moldovan Internet stats:
No need. You've already demonstrated it. Muslims are not a race.

Error. I divided by zero, OH SHI- (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18568515)

ARRRR, ME MATIES.

Actually a shame this is a joke (1)

istartedi (132515) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568615)

Would actually be nice to have the original commercials and stuff. Would actually be nice to see Star Wars without a Jurrasic Park dino snuck into tatoine and those stupid rings around the explosions. Would actually be nice not to have to wonder if there really are subtle differences, or if it's just my memory.

Re:Actually a shame this is a joke (1)

voice_of_all_reason (926702) | more than 7 years ago | (#18578091)

Would actually be nice to have the original commercials and stuff.

Not only would a television network never *dream* of providing free publicity, but it would likely be a violation of copyright as well. Just saying.

I know it's BS but, (3, Interesting)

pair-a-noyd (594371) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568621)

I'm all for it. I wish they would do it.
Matter of fact, I'm building my own "way back machine", an HTPC with a few terabytes and loaded with nothing but old TV shows from the 50's & 60's, maybe a few from the 70's.
It will play old TV shows according to a schedule and all the episodes will play in the proper sequence.
I'm editing out all the commercials so they won't be tainted by modern crap. I wish I could find copies of the old commercials of way back then too, that would be pretty neat to mix them in. It may take me a few years to gather all the shows I want but I have time. And I'll never grow tired of watching them over and over. Watching TV on this machine really will be like going back in time.
Lost in Space, Voyage to the bottom of the Sea, ST TOS, Time Tunnel, Green Hornet, Land of the Giants, Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies, Gilligans Island, Addams Family (tos), The Munsters, etc.... Stuff that was on TV when I was a kid. Entertainment without gratuitous violence, sex and cursing. Just good clean fun.

Why? Because I despise 99.9% of contemporary TV programs, they simply suck.
Really. I'm stone cold serious.

Re:I know it's BS but, (1)

Paolo DF (849424) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569059)

If you look around, you can actually find old tv commercials. I know for sure that there are Atari and Intellivision and Apple commercials around, I even downloaded a compilation of them a while ago (it was atari-related stuff)

Other Shows (1)

camperdave (969942) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569755)

Lost in Space, Voyage to the bottom of the Sea, ST TOS, Time Tunnel, Green Hornet, Land of the Giants, Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies, Gilligans Island, Addams Family (tos), The Munsters, etc....

Throw some of the old British TV shows in there as well. Things like The Prisoner, Thunderbirds, The Avengers, Doctor Who, etc. Having seen a few episodes of each of these, I think it would have been cool growing up watching them.

Re:Other Shows (1)

pair-a-noyd (594371) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569837)

Ah yes, those too. And I Spy, Mission Impossible, Space 1999, The Saint, I Dream of Jeannie, Hawaii Five o..
On and on and on. There was so much cool stuff on TV back then. It's just impossible to list it all.
Oh and I'll be mixing in some great old movies from Turner Classic Movies and Fox Movie Channel.
Here's a link I found that lists a *few* of the many shows from back then.
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv-shows.htm [fiftiesweb.com]

Ahh, those were the days.

Re:and still Other Shows (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#18570075)

some I liked, very random order-> Combat, the Gallant men, T.H.E. Cat, outer limits, one step beyond, ernie kovacs (where I saw the spaghetti tree spoof), you bet your life, the millionaire, honeymooners, kraft mystery theater, Topper, Chatter, romar of the jungle, ted mack and the amateur hour (I know two different people got on that show), candid camera, sgt. bilko, flash gordon, sky king, fury, sea hunt, clutch cargo (cartoon), wild cargo (not a cartoon), bandstand (hey, had cute girls and some tunes on it), bonanza, maverick, palladin, bounty hunter, rawhide,.. ...and I better stop, realise I wasted way too much time with TV back then...

Re:Other Shows (1)

LordSnooty (853791) | more than 7 years ago | (#18571877)

Nostalgic USians could really do with a site like this [cream.org]

Re:I know it's BS but, (1)

Mix+Master+Nixon (1018716) | more than 7 years ago | (#18570837)

Archive.org has metric tons of old TV commercials for the taking.

If war broke out on April 1,... (1)

Ltar (1010889) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568737)

No-one would take it seriously.

And In Other News (0, Troll)

coyote4til7 (189857) | more than 7 years ago | (#18568769)

The answer for "SlashRating" is not pi, e, avogadro's number... it's 42 Pink Ponies (on the brain), take one down, pass the joint around...

Impressive (1)

hey! (33014) | more than 7 years ago | (#18569001)

They haven't just created a new kind of multimedia service, they've pioneered a novel form faulty inference, which I propose be named the "DuroSport fallacy" in their honor: -(A-->B) --> (-A --> B).

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