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171 comments

can you stick your penis in it? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013663)

      Re:can you stick your penis in it? (1)

      postmortem (906676) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015477)

      Why would you? It is already barely visible as is.

      Re:can you stick your penis in it? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19016003)

      You sure seem to be keen on other men's penises.

      Re:can you stick your penis in it? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19016313)

      He is not keen on penis, he is just stating the facts.

      invisible from all sides (4, Funny)

      seven of five (578993) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013673)

      anyway, it seems to work on the website.

      Re:invisible from all sides (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014707)

      a tube that is invisible from the sides but allows light to shine down the center

      The emperor has new clothes. A tube like that is called "vacuum". Can't see it from the sides and it allows light to shine down the center. Where's my research grant?

      But what is it good for? (5, Funny)

      WrongSizeGlass (838941) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013677)

      Not to be a party pooper, but is there really any application for this tunnel? You can't see it, you can't see out of it, and you need to build it so it can only go to places you can already go.

      In NJ we already have tunnels that seem to do nothing. We call them the Holland Tunnel & Lincoln Tunnel.

      Re:But what is it good for? (3, Funny)

      someone1234 (830754) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013715)

      Is it hidden from Google Maps?

      Re:But what is it good for? (5, Funny)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013771)

      In NJ we already have tunnels that seem to do nothing. We call them the Holland Tunnel & Lincoln Tunnel.

      Q : Why are New Yorkers so depressed?
      A : Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey!

      And in other news.. (4, Funny)

      mrbluze (1034940) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014687)

      Scientists develop invisible, weightless clothing that is so thin you can't feel it. One of their first customers has been the King of England, but orders have also been placed by the President and hundreds of middle aged men hoping to impress their wives this Mother's Day.

      Re:But what is it good for? (1)

      Turn-X Alphonse (789240) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013793)

      Could make for a very effective nail if they found a way to sound proof things. People can't see in or out of it, they wouldn't even know it was there except they could not enter/exit it. Would be absolutely perfect for prisons and such.

      Re:But what is it good for? (1)

      HomelessInLaJolla (1026842) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013839)

      Much easier to hide than Guatanamo and we wouldn't have to be paying rent to Cuba, either.

      AFAIK Cuba tried to remove the lease on Gitmo when Castro found out what the USA was using it for but real estate brokers and lawyers enjoy the same type of power over the Cuban government as they do here.

      Re:But what is it good for? (5, Interesting)

      totoanihilation (782326) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013829)

      The one application that struck me is the holographic implications. If you can get light to move to a precise spot in mid-air through an invisible tunnel, you can make objects appear anywhere. No smoke or mirrors required.

      Re:But what is it good for? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014429)

      And without the messy business of dopplegangers. [imdb.com]

      That should be obvious (1)

      sczimme (603413) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013869)


      Not to be a party pooper, but is there really any application for this tunnel? You can't see it, you can't see out of it, and you need to build it so it can only go to places you can already go

      That should be obvious: it will have great implications for the Internet, which - as we all know - is a series of tubes. The tunnel carries light, so it can work like a fibre connection, and we can identify the endpoints.

      :-)

      Re:But what is it good for? (5, Funny)

      Strilanc (1077197) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014151)

      It's essentially an invisible wire. Just think of the possibilities! Invisible tripwire, an INVISIBLE clutter of wires behind your desk, and freaky rope bondage! ... maybe we should reconsider building this.

      Re:But what is it good for? (3, Funny)

      Torvaun (1040898) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015765)

      "Damn, kicked the network cable out again. Aw, shit, they've already got that invisible crap here? Now I'm doomed."

      Re:But what is it good for? (1)

      Propaganda13 (312548) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014165)

      How about a recon vehicle?
      Put the tube standing on end around the vehicle. Use fiber optics, small cameras, or other sensors in a periscope so they can see outside the tube. There would also be the possibility of stacking smaller and smaller tubes to form a dome over an object.

      Absolutely nothin, say it again (1)

      CrazyJim1 (809850) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014919)

      I have no idea what an invisibility cloak could be good for.

      Re:But what is it good for? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19016049)

      > Not to be a party pooper, but is there really any application for this tunnel?

      Nope. I recommend against funding this "Tunnel to Nowhere."

      Wait... strike that; it's a Series of Tubes to Nowhere.

      spelling? (5, Funny)

      skeldoy (831110) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013723)

      "advenced"? "are a ways of"? That futuristic language must be from the other side of the wormhole!

      Not really a troll... (1)

      Twisted64 (837490) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014205)

      Come on, give the parent a break - the summary's only two sentences long, and an automated spell-checker would have fixed half the mistakes.

      Re:spelling? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014527)

      Well you could always travel down the tunnel and aks them yourself!

      Meh. (1)

      Cheezymadman (1083175) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013725)

      I'll be impressed when they make invisible tubes for Internet2.

      Uh oh.. (0, Offtopic)

      spankey51 (804888) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013741)

      Ok... Let the penis-size jokes ensue!

      Twofo GNAA (-1, Troll)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013753)

      University of Warwick file sharing faggots. [twofo.co.uk]

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      Wormhole? (0, Redundant)

      imamac (1083405) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013755)

      " New calculations show how to make an electromagnetic "wormhole"--a tube that is invisible from the sides, allowing light to shine down the center unseen." Unfortunately, this is NOT the defenition of a wormhole. What the articel describes is a physical tunnel, that is simply invisible from the outside, not a wormhole that links 2 distant places through a much shorter distance.

      Re:Wormhole? (3, Informative)

      PopCulture (536272) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013919)

      ... hence the "quotes"

      Re:Wormhole? (3, Funny)

      MillionthMonkey (240664) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014181)

      Here's to finally giving Bush his exit strategy in November

      I know I shouldn't reply to sigs, but I didn't read that as a sig at first. I was going to agree that given his current situation, an invisible wormhole would present Bush with an attractive exit strategy indeed.

      Ideally, one would be able to invisibly travel through the wormhole and emerge from it wearing a flight suit.

      Re:Wormhole? (1)

      abshnasko (981657) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014401)

      Except not.
      FTA:

      The idea is the same as that of a wormhole linking two distant points in spacetime, hence the nickname.
      Parent's point is legitimate

      Re:Wormhole? (1)

      tbischel (862773) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015175)

      then why not just "tunnel"?

      Re:Wormhole? (2, Funny)

      Rakshasa Taisab (244699) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015347)

      I thought quotes were to separate the 'wormholes' that connect two points in space, etc, from holes containing actual worms.

      Re:Wormhole? (1)

      Henry V .009 (518000) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014029)

      Unfortunately, this is NOT the defenition of a wormhole.
      Unless a worm makes it, it's not a wormhole.

      Re:Wormhole? (1)

      DittoBox (978894) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014037)

      I love slashdot. Nothing excites me more than a good spelling mistake, not changed for fixed by our Great Editors. What's this "advenced" and how I get one myself?

      Re:Wormhole? (1)

      Torvaun (1040898) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015799)

      I love slashdot. Nothing excites me more than a good spelling mistake, not changed for fixed by our Great Editors. What's this "advenced" and how I get one myself?
      Emphasis ironic.

      Re:Wormhole? (4, Insightful)

      noidentity (188756) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014483)

      Wow, I just took a flashlight and shined it straight down in front of me and I didn't see the beam in the air at all. I better see if there's one of these invisible tunnels in front of me.

      Oh, wait, that's what light already does.

      Envision... (-1, Redundant)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013761)

      Sounds ideal for a spherical cow. Hopefully the mathematicians and physicists are talking this through.

      This thread is useless without pictures (5, Funny)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013801)

      If anyone is interested, I found a photo:

      Re:This thread is useless without pictures (2, Funny)

      rdoger6424 (879843) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014091)

      I have a better picture right here [about]

      Re:This thread is useless without pictures (1)

      PixelScuba (686633) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014095)

      I've spent too much time on the internet... my initial thought was that this was going to be a goatse joke. Of course, that's impossible since goatse is definitely NOT invisible.

      Re:This thread is useless without pictures (4, Funny)

      FLAGGR (800770) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014901)

      It's only invisible from the sides, not when you are looking in the hole.

      military (4, Interesting)

      crAckZ (1098479) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013809)

      this is a good application for the army. a series of tunnels and your moving trucks and cargo without the enemy seeing them. all they would know is that you have the tunnels but would'nt know exactly what your moving.

      Re:military (1)

      Tribbin (565963) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013975)

      Yeah, or make a giant dough-roller out of it and roll it over the country!

      Re:military (4, Insightful)

      ByteSlicer (735276) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014055)

      Or they could build their tunnels out of metal-shielded concrete, and nobody would see what they are moving either (for a fraction of the price, probably).

      Wouldn't that make it better suited for... (1)

      jd (1658) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014229)

      ...lawyers?

      Re:military (1)

      ThePsion5 (1037256) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014299)

      Right up until they used thermal gear.

      Re:military (3, Insightful)

      cathector (972646) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015861)

      why is this modded 4/interesting ?
      you don't even have to read the article. right there in the summary it says "a tube that is invisible from the sides but allows light to shine down the center." (not that the article actually says much more than the summary)

      so while i'm sure the military will have an application for this, as they seem to have applications for anything which my money can be spent on, the only things which can be moved thru the tunnel are photons.

      Designed?!? (3, Interesting)

      sakusha (441986) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013821)

      I don't quite see how anyone can claim they designed such a thing. It is sort of like saying Klein designed a bottle that holds everything on the outside on the inside. Of course a Klein Bottle is impossible to construct, sure it's an interesting mathematical idea but it's not anything you can make in reality, so it's senseless to say it's been designed. Let's just say it's been imagined.

      Re:Designed?!? (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013881)

      KLein bottles! Get your Klein bottles [kleinbottle.com] !

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      sakusha (441986) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014021)

      Yeah right. Show me how the neck of these Klein Bottles pass through the side wall without intersecting it. That's the unique property of a Klein Bottle.

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      zippthorne (748122) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015701)

      It is not a necessary condition. The 4d klein bottle does indeed have the property you describe, but the 3d "projection" bottles are still perfectly valid: if you bother to trace it, you'd find that they do indeed have only one surface.

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      maxume (22995) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014277)

      Actually, it is more that reality isn't offended by topology:

      http://www.kleinbottle.com/ [kleinbottle.com] look real enough to me.

      Re:Designed?!? (2, Informative)

      sakusha (441986) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015097)

      Did you people all flunk math? Those are MODELS of a Klein Bottle, not a REAL Klein bottle. The Klein Bottle is a construct that cannot exist in normal 3D space.
      Now I suppose you're going to tell me that a drawing of a cube on a piece of paper is a real 3D cube?

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      maxume (22995) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015231)

      I just didn't take any higher math. I also have a tendency not to be uselessly rigid.

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      fractoid (1076465) | more than 7 years ago | (#19016307)

      Nope, we'll call it a drawing of a cube when defining it... but if someone asks "what is it?" we're liable to just say "it's a 3D cube". That's a common way to use the English language, and for most of us is not hard to understand. The ability to understand flexibly used language is one of the things that differentiates us humans from machines.

      Lots of 2D representations of 3D things are referred to as '3D' - take, for example, any game with '3D rendered graphics', ie. almost all of them these days. Common usage is, like it or not, the most reliable way to transfer information.

      Re:Designed?!? (0, Redundant)

      Warbringer87 (969664) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014771)

      what are you talking about? Klein bottles can be made...

      http://www.kleinbottle.com/ [kleinbottle.com]

      Re:Designed?!? (1)

      DeadChobi (740395) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015613)

      The article is clearly nonsense. It doesn't explain anything, merely speculates idly about how the tunnel that doesn't exist should work, throws in a few buzzwords, and some general information, and calls it a day. Nothing to see here, just more pageviews for Scientific American.

      this FP f0r GNAA (-1, Offtopic)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013853)

      were nuulified by both believed that of the old going BsD's codebase

      Invisible Bandwidth (1)

      hexed_2050 (841538) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013893)

      Finally we can build an invisible network of fiber optic cables!

      Re:Invisible Bandwidth (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014109)

      that's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard since I've been at Microsoft.

      - Bill

      Re:Invisible Bandwidth (0, Redundant)

      drewski3420 (969623) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014733)

      you mean, an invisible series of tubes?

      Beating Chuck Norris (2, Funny)

      Tribbin (565963) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013903)

      So now you can *KLANG* Chuck Norris on the head with a tube, and he won't see it coming?

      I don't think one would have much time to enjoy the moment though, 'cause he will round-house-kick the tube into your navel.

      Re:Beating Chuck Norris (-1)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013991)

      This comment is so unfunny it deserves a rebuttal.

      First of all, referencing Chuck Norris is not an automagic "Funny" +1 mod.

      Second, who round house kicks anything into the naval? Throat would have been better. Arse would have even been more funny. (Though still not round house kick quality.)

      *sigh*

      I just wanted 30 seconds that I shall never get back.

      Re:Beating Chuck Norris (2, Funny)

      Tribbin (565963) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014221)

      Second, who round house kicks anything into the naval?
      Chuck Norris does.

      Re:Beating Chuck Norris (-1)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014231)

      Furthermore, Chuck Norris was BORN with the knowledge that the invisible tube would one day be aiming to intersect with his head, so he took steps many eons ago to ensure that whoever would be responsible for this, would instead be born as a thousand beautiful women who would be too busy fawning over his manliness to do anything so vulgar as to try to swing a big invisible tube at his head.

      Re:Beating Chuck Norris (-1)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014291)

      The tubes are invisible because they are hiding. And it's common knowledge that you can't hide from Chuck Norris.

      Fake! (4, Funny)

      markild (862998) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013933)

      Bah.. I just checked out ThinkGeek, and [b]still[/b] no 1:12 working model of a Stargate..

      I mean, what's the use of this technology if they're not putting it to good use :P

      Re:Fake! (1)

      markild (862998) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013989)

      | sed s/\\[b\\]/\<b\>/g | sed s/\\[\\/b\\]/\<\\/b\>/g

      Bless you! (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014449)

      | sed s/\\[b\\]/\<b\>/g | sed s/\\[\\/b\\]/\<\\/b\>/g
      Apology accepted.

      Now (for educational purposes) write it with only one invocation of sed.

      Re:Fake! (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19015099)

      Where's the +1 "Now That's Just Silly" moderation?

      Do wormholes exist? (0, Offtopic)

      zymano (581466) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013961)

      Why don't we prove that instead?

      Re:Do wormholes exist? (1)

      nurb432 (527695) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015449)

      What they are proposing isnt really a wormhole anyway. I think they used the term just to get attention.

      Advenced (0, Redundant)

      DJ Jones (997846) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013965)

      I suggest we make a few more advences in spell checking technology before we move on to any sort of spherical invisibility cloaking devices.


      - But can you make a funnel cake that tastes as good as it smells?

      mod 3o8wn (-1, Offtopic)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19013979)

      it's a series of tubes (3, Funny)

      kirils (1050022) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013995)

      hell, yeah. now we'll be able to download pr0n without others seeing.

      The internet... (0, Redundant)

      DavidWeight (1075593) | more than 7 years ago | (#19013997)

      is now a series of invisible tubes

      Never late for work ! (4, Funny)

      Joebert (946227) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014067)

      Joebert ! you're late !
      No I'm not sir, I got an early start cleaning up inside the tube.

      Second Life Rapists (1)

      PavementPizza (907876) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014081)

      The rapists in Second Life are working on an Invisible ePenis to counter this development.

      Wonderful!! (1)

      perlhacker14 (1056902) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014193)

      Just think: we can now play hide and seek in public. Lets make tunnels to make it more exciting! Sounds like Harry Potter with all the invisibility, no? Lets face it: there are no practical applications for this invisibility tunnel, at the moment. When a valid need for something like this can be proven, then resume the project.

      Yeah right... (1, Funny)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014329)

      I'll believe it when I don't see it.

      Re:Yeah right... (1)

      Gazzonyx (982402) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015393)

      I'll believe it when I don't see it.

      Nice.

      Math != reality (4, Funny)

      ErikZ (55491) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014419)

      Math guy: "Look! We've shown how to make wormholes, with math!"

      Me: "You forgot to carry the 1."

      Math guy: "Damn!"

      Envrionmentally retarded... (1)

      Cathoderoytube (1088737) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014443)

      I heard about this project when it was first introduced a few years back. I actually know one of the fellas working on the project. I remember the biggest problem with the project was getting the tunnel actually invisible. Since they were working under a government grant they had a specific mandate to make the tunnel energy efficiant and environmentally friendly. So they brought in a team of chemists who insisted the tunnel would work better if it was painted black and filled with solar energy collectors. The tunnel wound up being extremely energy efficiant but they couldn't actually get through the damned thing without struggling over all the equipment jammed in there. It's good to see the mathematicians managed to bring some reason back to the project. My friend there complained every day about those solar collectors.

      Someone is watching to much stargate and falling.. (1)

      3seas (184403) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014507)

      ...asleep.

      Then waking up and inventing what they saw in friction.

      Oh wait, isn't this how the cell phone came about? (re: star trek communicators)

      Ok, now everyone start watching movies like fifth element and star wars and such.... before bed..

      Maybe we can finally get our flying cars...

      Re:Someone is watching to much stargate and fallin (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19015145)

      I hope flying cars never come about. I don't trust random people to not fly their car into my living room.

      Obl. (4, Funny)

      PineGreen (446635) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014561)

      That's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard since I've been at Microsoft.

      Re:Obl. (1)

      Tribbin (565963) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015507)

      You've been at Microsoft?

      That's the dumbest fucking idea I've hear since... uhm.

      obligatory (0)

      owlnation (858981) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014595)

      My eyes, the goggles, zey do nothing...

      Re:obligatory (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014705)

      Which is to be expected... The keyword here is *invisible*.

      A math guy, a physics guy, and a biology guy (5, Funny)

      HungWeiLo (250320) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014611)

      A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in an outdoor cafe. They watch two people go into a building across the street. Shortly thereafter, three people come out.

      "Hmm," says the biologist. "It looks like they reproduced."

      "Nah," says the physicist. "There was obviously error in our initial measurement."

      The mathematician looks up from his coffee. "Who cares? If another person goes in, it'll be empty."

      One word (twice) (2, Funny)

      romland (192158) | more than 7 years ago | (#19014751)

      ...

      MEEP MEEP

      How to build one at home. (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19014927)

      I shoved a Maglite up my ass, battery end first. Can't see it from the sides, and you can only see the light from one angle.

      Math Geeks, Alice in Wonderland (1)

      bailey don (1072492) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015009)

      Math Geeks can take square root of negative number before breakfast.

      The practical applications are a ways off? (1)

      LouisZepher (643097) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015203)

      One application I can think of: Video privacy. Everyone's most likely seen the advertisements for the "Sonic Ear" or similar doodad. "Watch TV without disturbing your partner's sleep!" The ads usually claim. However, whenever I heard this line, I usually replied mentally: "What about the flashing/flickering light from the television?" Well, it seems to me that this would answer that question. Then again, I've had a long day at work and my brain is a tad on the soft side right now...

      Re:The practical applications are a ways off? (1)

      Torvaun (1040898) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015855)

      My big issue is with hearing the coach at the sports game. Doesn't the Sonic Ear amplify all the ambient noise too?

      Invisible Tube (1)

      MillionthMonkey (240664) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015739)

      You can try to slit my neck with a knife
      I'd be watching porn in the afterlife
      You can make it so my disks all won't play
      I'll be making trouble like you always say
      You can try to push a content cartel
      As if you still had things you could honestly sell
      You can turn our culture music and art
      To little squares on cryptographic charts

      There has to be an invisible tube
      It can't be seen by just any dude
      There has to be an invisible tube
      For sending mail to senatorial boobs

      It blinks all day or it blinks all night
      Eigenstates and quantum tangled light
      It goes all way with an integer spin
      Turning into bits that the pulse brought in

      There has to be an invisible tube
      It gives free bits to everyone
      There has to be an invisible tube
      With stuff that plays when the download's done

      And you're only going to slow the pace
      by private key encryption of the human race
      You would bill me for a pretty sunset
      You haven't found a way to charge just yet

      There has to be an invisible tube
      To show us all these people in the nude
      There has to be an invisible tube
      That can't be seen running to my cube

      how's it different from empty space ? (1)

      cathector (972646) | more than 7 years ago | (#19015903)

      a tube that is invisble from the side but allows light to shine down the center.

      wouldn't a tube-shaped region of empty space fit the same description ?

      also it seems weird that the article makes no reference at all to the size of the proposed tube. are we talking like a millimeter ? ten feet ? the wavelength of red light ?

      Problem (2, Funny)

      PPH (736903) | more than 7 years ago | (#19016017)

      If its invisible from the sides, how do we keep backhoe operators from digging it up?

      single wavelength limitation (0)

      Anonymous Coward | more than 7 years ago | (#19016169)

      If they can only make a single color, such as red, go invisible, can they not wrap an object in a red sheet or something? :)

      [ simon.cpu ]
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