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Medium Rare Quickies

CmdrTaco posted more than 14 years ago | from the with-a-side-order-of-fries dept.

Quickies 178

Let's start this off with some Microsoft parodies: Polo pointed us to a version of office2000 that many Slashdotters might prefer to the Microsoft version. Lexie (ask out CowboyNeal!) sent us a Microsoft Monopoly that you probably won't see in stores. G. Crisp sent us a Lego Penguin: proof that someone has both too much spare time, and too many legos. An anonymous reader noted that you can get AccuWeather®5-Day Forecast for AREA 51. Forecast calls for black helecopters and Gillian Anderson. witten sent us a random Jon Katz story generator called (not surprisingly) Katzdot. While we're on the subject of Slashdot, it's worth nothing that ThinkGeek is now carrying new Slashdot T-Shirts. Of course personally I'd prefer the 'Kernel Panic' shot glasses, but then again, I've had a pretty long week. dayeight sent us something that is pretty indescribible. It involves video games, but presumably it also involved some sort of illegal substances too. I think its a metaphor for something. How about a few 'True Stories' to brighten up your day (no I'm not talking about zany Talking Heads movies). First zentropy sent us what seems to be a true story about why sports and Taco Bell just don't mix. An anonymous reader showed us a woman who is trying to get workers comp from her employer since she got carpal tunnel... her job involves phones, but it wasn't dialing them that caused the *ahem* injury.

cancel ×

178 comments

/. tees (3)

Issue9mm (97360) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485609)

Actually, the T-Shirts are pretty nice. I was going to pick up one of the fleeces, but according to ThinkGeek, there is No back on this one".

Now, maybe it's just me, but if it doesn't COME with a back, then I'd like the option to be able to purchase one seperately, or at least bundled.

Sheesh, as bad as I felt when I bought my HP DeskJet and it didn't come with a printer cable, I'm glad I saw this one early. Or I'd be REALLY pissed.

Oh gawd, oh gawd, ouch (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485610)

Wow, a RSI. I was told that if did that type of thing that you would go blind. And BTW, duh, switch hands.

I was going to make a very snide remark about why does this story constitute news for nerds. But, then I thought about it and realized that I guess CmdrTaco thought that it was something that we could relate to.:-) I also why this was posted up Quickies?

Is that hair gel?

Re:Hmm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485611)

Heh - you checking often enough? (me too..:)

Re:Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485621)

women probably would be affected more... considering that men do that more... and.... uhm. there's a bit more "finger" movement with women.. and ... uhm.. arm movement with men... err

Katzdot (2)

grappler (14976) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485622)

That Katzdot headline generator is good for a laugh, but I was hoping it would actually write an article. You know, like Pakin's automatic complaint letter generator. Oh well.

--
grappler

Kernel-Panic shot glass? (1)

MicroBerto (91055) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485623)

Where can i get a Kernel Panic shot glass?

Re:Another personal injury story. (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485624)

Hmm, I'm wandering exactly how this is physically possible? I mean, he'd have to have the damn thing jammed between the seat and the bowl to start with, wouldn't he? Now I'm curious - I'll have to try this out for myself when I get home...

LEGO Penguin (1)

Star Traveller (115341) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485625)

I wonder how much he could sell it for. A 25 inch lego linux penguin must go for something.

Lego my penguin!

sorta like Coppermine (2)

SEAL (88488) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485626)

Once you hit the power button, you just can't stop hitting it... :)

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

seaportcasino (121045) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485627)

Why would anybody want so much of this blowhard?

Re:Y1K (2)

Star Traveller (115341) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485628)

Well, Y2K (for the ignorant this is Year 2000) is almost upon us. It has been a problem for many and we should learn from it. By this I mean the not-so-notorious Y10K problem, the now four digit years will not work in the year 10000.

You may think that it is much to early to think about it. It is impossible that 20th century programs would be used in the year 10000, right? Just like programs from the 70's would not be used in the year 2000...

Now do you see what I mean? We have to learn from our bidigit mistakes and make sure that 8000 years from now it will not happen again.

Re:dayeight (1)

seaportcasino (121045) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485629)

I don't get it. It all looks pretty confusing. Like a giant mish-mesh to me!

Katzdot.. (1)

Garpenlov (34711) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485632)

Is it just me, or is that site just asking to be hammered? Fortunately the pages are small, but come on.. Once you click, you just can't stop reloading the pages.. A virtually unlimited supply of Katz. Who could ask for more?

dayeight (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485634)

dayeight's site is the greatest I love it. smashing absolutely outstanding bravo

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

rlkoppenhaver (101366) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485635)

Who could resist such great stories as

The Hellmouth: Roadmap to Success
Feature: The Internet
Why Do Troubled Teens Learn?

and my personal favorite

It's Time For TV

Maybe Katz could use these for inspiration. :)

Re:dayeight (1)

zempf (4454) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485639)

Funny, all I got was a bunch of links to JPEGs (1-9.jpg or something) that all presented me with that nice Netscape "broken image" icon. Anyone else?

-mike kania

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

Glytch (4881) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485642)

My favourite was "Attack Of The Geek Hellmouth and Microsoft". Hmm. A call to arms in the wake of the US court decision?

Anybody get that lego penguin? (1)

Zen (8377) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485644)

For some unknown reason, I'm kinda interested in seeing what it looks like, and the site is already gone. Too bad. If anyone grabbed a copy of the picture and can post it somewhere, please do.

Zen

Some Katzdot gems... (1)

mhankins (27975) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485646)

I just had to share these...

High Schools: An Idea Whose Time Has Come
Can Post-Columbine TV Stop The Virtual 21st Century?
Can Students Learn?

OK, enough... now go read it yourself.

Re:Slashdot Shirts (1)

Analog (564) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485647)

Hmmm, they live east of the Mississippi, and I've personally seen them here (Cali) west of it on several occasions, so unless you have an incredibly fortuitous travel schedule, you have indeed been on the same side of that great river as them at some point! (All in good fun, I know what you meant...)

Re: are you nuts? (1)

Freshman (9729) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485648)

I'd take carpal-tunnels ANY day.

RSI Injury (2)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485649)

Wow, I'm amazed to hear about that carpal tunnel case. I'm happy to hear there's at least one paid phone sex operator that (apparently) gets off for real!

Re:Hmm... (1)

seaportcasino (121045) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485650)

Some of these are pretty classic though. I love that office 2000 parody! And the story about the woman sueing her employer for carpel because of mastubating too much actually says a LOT more about this society than most social commentaries.

WooWoo! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485651)

"The 21st Century: Model For Androids",
"Can Dying Babies Learn?",
and "The Stock Market Demands Flamers".

Next On Heraldo!

Drop the Chalupa! (1)

Star Traveller (115341) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485652)

Now I see why at my school Taco Bell is given the nickname Toxic Hell

South Park: Model for Reality [nt] (1)

matthewg (6374) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485653)

Re:Oh gawd, oh gawd, ouch (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485654)

Actually, it was both hands if ya read the article =)

Re:Kernel-Panic shot glass? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485655)

Right Here. [thinkgeek.com]

at ThinkGeek.Com (on their mugs pages) (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485656)

Kernel panic Shot Glass [thinkgeek.com]

I should be employed to find odd quickies.... (1)

dayeight (21335) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485667)

first pornopgraphic mosaics of Ms. Tombraider, now video game rape scenes. I think there is a niche for me. How about it Rob?

--Dayeight
--Waiting to get moderated into oblivion.

Office 2000 (1)

Star Traveller (115341) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485668)

Not only is it Y2K compliant, but it is also Y1K compliant!!!

PS: Bill Gates seems to be $10G compliant
PPS: A similar problem is the B100B problem. Right now McDonalds has "Over 99 Billion Served". What would happen when they reach 100 Billion? Their signs just can't handle it! They'll go out of business!

Re:Kernel-Panic shot glass? (1)

m3000 (46427) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485669)

You can get them h ere [thinkgeek.com]

Dead TV (3)

pnevares (96029) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485670)

I'm sure we all pull out the defibrilators when our TV "dies [yahoo.com] ".

Pablo Nevares, "the freshmaker".

Re:Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (1)

doom (14564) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485671)

I know someone who's been doing "erotic massage"
for a living who says that repetetive stress
disorders are a real fear. This story doesn't
strike me as *completely* ridiculous.

What I don't understand is why this woman never
learned to fake orgasm. What are mother's
teaching young women these days, anyway?

Of course, there's no reason to assume that
the facts have been reported anywhere near
accurately. We're talking ABC news here.


Re:90's patriarchy to the extreme (2)

PD (9577) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485672)

What??? You're talking about a phone sex worker. You know, the ones that Oral Roberts and others claim are "Satans mistresses."

You're just facilitating the return of the anti-christ when you suggest that we actually give those in cahoots with the devil a chance to make the Y2K problem worse.

Sheesh! It's rough defending our nation's borders against the spawn of hell with just a shotgun and a chainsaw.

Re:Office 2000 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485673)

I'm sorry, but if you have nothing to say, why say anything at all? Don't clutter slashdot with pointless comments especially when you KNOW they're pointless. And don't just try to build your karma too.

Just a rant.

Re:Katzdot (2)

fishbowl (7759) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485674)

Oh. silly me. I was skimming the article that it linked to, and thought it *was* randomly generated, along with the comments.

You mean that was real?

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

The_Dude (26374) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485675)

I wasn't going to post any, but this one just popped up:

The Geek Hellmouth? Don't believe it

Re:Steve Forbes Quickie (1)

pb (1020) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485676)

I think Lunix [netsurf.de] was for the C64, actually.

Definitely a different Unix. :)
---
pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11] .

Re:Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (2)

fishbowl (7759) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485687)

It has to be a publicity stunt.
Phone sex operators don't really get naked
and masturbate on the phone. And they're not
cute chicks either.

Copies of the penguin pics (2)

iguana2000 (113776) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485688)

I've posted 5 of the pics at http://www.geocities.com/iguana2000/ Enjoy.

What about Y5B? (4)

DragonHawk (21256) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485689)

The Year Five Billion problem. By then, our sun should have gone nova and incinerated the planet. I don't care what kind of computer you have -- that is going to cause a malfunction.

sega dreamcast (1)

mcc (14761) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485690)

I think my feelings about this can be summed up best using the words of Keanu Reeves:

(blinks a couple times).. whoa.

conspiracy continues (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485691)

AccuWeather is in on the conspiracy. The radar image is from Roswell, NM and area 51 is in Nevada. What are they trying to hide? I sense another coverup. Just another post below my threshold.

Wow, my new favourite Katz article (2)

jfunk (33224) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485692)

"The Bill of Rights: A Whole New Chapter In The Stock Market"

That just made me laugh out loud.

I still don't know why...

KatzD0t (1)

British (51765) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485693)

OH my ghod, this is pure genius. I sweare some of these were real slashdot articles:


Is The Internet About To Transform The Internet War?

The Net Demands The Digital Website


I love it. This is very Onion-worthy

Others who might deserve workers' comp... (2)

/ (33804) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485694)

Prostitutes [whoreact.net] and their dextrous abilities come to mind, especially where it's legal like in Nevada. One of the biggest arguments is in favor of the legalization of prostitution is so that prostitutes can receive health care -- I suppose rsi is one of those injuries most never planned to receive.

lego tux. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485695)

that looks more like tux's evil robot brother moe or something. look at the vacant look on his face. gonna hev to watch that one, hes out for blood. if katzdot included a few pages of random bullshit and blustering i wouldnt be able to tell the difference.

The Lego Penguin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485696)

Actually, I'm pretty sure that you can never have too many Legos...one footlocker full and still counting!

My own favorites: (2)

Chris Johnson (580) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485697)

It's Time For The Internet War Hysteria

Cinema: A Whole New Chapter In The Revolutionary World

Letters From Virtual Impeachment

The Web: A Whole New Chapter In Online Buffy

Giving Thanks For Virtual Cinema

The Power Of The Techno Stock Market And Interactive Dying Babies

Murder: A Whole New Chapter In Hidden Being Different

Is The Stock Market About To Transform Slashdot?

Can Hidden Anonymous Cowards Stop Post-Columbine Minimum Wage?




The scary part is, this _reeks_ of Markov Chaining. I suspect these are made up of actual genuine interactive dying baby Katz headlines, shredded and rearranged.



One envisions doing this to the whole Katz on Slashdot collection, thus getting not only terrific headlines, but entire articles. For anybody interested in doing this, Katz is a _very_ good subject for travesty as he is disjointed and covers the same subjects over and over. To markov chain this stuff it's best to work at the word level- pairs of words end up chaining very abstractedly, and word triples can sometimes spit out overlarge chunks of unaltered text (though I suspect with Katz the triples would work perfectly).



Here's a sample of this sort of travesty: Speak Roughly To Your Evidence [airwindows.com] , an edited Alice In Wonderland travesty.

Lego Penguin Mirror (2)

Issue9mm (97360) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485698)

Here [freeservers.com] is a link to the Lego Penguin images.

I've just grabbed the images, and not any of the text or anything, but have at it.

RSI is worth 7 orgasms a day. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485699)

seriously.

Re:Katzdot..(off-topic,flamebait) (0)

BlackHat (67036) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485700)

SeaScum are you for real or just spamming your cheap ass casino?

Sorry to other /.'ers just had to smack this wanker.

tiny little gameboys? (1)

quadong (52475) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485701)

Sorry, I am a NES kinda person. What are those tiny little gameboy looking things that say Dreamcast? I thought that Dreamcast was like a next gen playstation.

Re:Some Katzdot gems... (1)

t_force (74736) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485702)

or...

Open Source High Schools and Violence: An Idea Whose Time Has Come
Flamers Salvation: E-Business

That site is so excellent.

Videogames' spelling (1)

/ (33804) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485712)

With spelling like that, I was expecting to see a gameboy up in the corner saying "Ferst Post!!!".

Duvel in the glass? (1)

Davorama (11731) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485713)

I was browsing ThinkGeek and noticed they were putting Duvel in the glasses. Can you get that stuff in the US without hitting the specialty import stores?

Typewriter not Y2K... (2)

x24 (81159) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485714)

...unless, of course, you can find antique typewriter ribbons.

Lego mascot: Just like the real thing! (2)

Q*bert (2134) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485715)

Let's see... it's based on a well-loved design by an acknowledged master, it was painstakingly built from the top down, and it used the available resources to their maximal potential. Yes, I think this Lego Tux is a very appropriate symbol for Linux. ;D

Vovida, OS VoIP
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product

Galien, MI???? (2)

BiLlCaT (6758) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485716)

accuweather is a joke, my friends... the only thing that's ever been spotted in Galien are cows, farmers, and rednecks. There are probably more cows in Galien than there are people. christ... i went to school in the little town next to galien that looks like a thriving metropolis comparitivly, yet only has 3000 people. yipes. galien shouldn't even be on the map.

rant mode off.

--bc
------------------------------------------
the amazing bc
latin/funk flugelhorn & trumpet
webnaut, music junkie, sysadmin from hell

Where'd they go? (1)

rebrane (17961) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485717)

Is it just me, or are comments disappearing from this article? (And yes, I'm sure they weren't just scored below my threshold.)

Noooooooo! (2)

Q*bert (2134) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485720)

Kid, don't try this at home!

Vovida, OS VoIP
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product

Duplicated link (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485721)

There's already a M$ Monopoly news article[1].

[1] http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=99/11/23/004525 5&mode=thread

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

spludge (99050) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485723)

My two favorites so far..

Geek Sexbots - Experience It!
Spiritual Sexbots - Euphoria or Doomsday?

Y1K (2)

Andrew Dvorak (95538) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485731)

A thousand years ago, everybody was worried about all their abacuses crashing .. now this .. what's it? Y2K thing?! The sad thing is history *really* does repeat itself ;)

Re:I'm the first to reply! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485732)

Well, partner, I guess you'll just have to mosy on down and load up on bourbon til ya really are the fastest draw.

Slashdot Shirts (1)

m3000 (46427) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485733)

My dad got me one of those Slashdot shirts over at Think Geek at Comdex, and got Rob and Jeff to sign it. It's pretty cool, and this being Slashdot, maybe I ought to start a bidding war on it at ebay....... : )

And speaking of shirts, thinkgeek also has some cool S lashdot Fleece's [thinkgeek.com] but for $60, I don't think I'll be buying it.

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

Zen (8377) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485734)

Yah, I hit reload a few dozen times. Wonder if it'll ever repeat, or if it's a true randomizer?

Re:dayeight (1)

Woodlark (3628) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485735)

Well, if you actually click on those links (presumably 1 first progressing to 9 last) you see this odd 'animation' involving... well... if you're that curious just click on them to look (or type in the numbers in the url field).

I'm still trying to decide what I thought... it was... well... odd and prophetic.

Droit devant soi on ne peut pas aller bien loin...

Hmm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485736)

After a five hour period of no news stories, we finally get a set of quickies to rummage through?

Sounds like a slow news day to me...

Re:Slashdot Shirts (1)

the_tsi (19767) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485737)

Having never even been on the same side of the Mississippi as Rob and Jeff, I'd pay for it... :)

-Chris

Steve Forbes Quickie (3)

Evan Vetere (9154) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485738)

At 20.17 Eastern, at the Republican Debate, Forbes referred to Linux as 'Loonix' while answering a question about why Microsoft should or shouldn't be broken up.

Leenix or Lihnux, sure. But Loonux? :)

RSI injury... (1)

kwerle (39371) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485739)

... and also asked to be reimbursed for $30,000 in medical bills after a neurosurgeon operated on her hands to relieve her pain.


Am I just wrong, or is it unusual to have a neurosurgeon operate on your hands?

Re:Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (1)

cheese63 (74259) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485740)

And they're not cute chicks either.

what?!?? but she said she was hot... why would a phone sex operator lie to me, uh, i mean, a friend of mine?

Re:Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (0)

zedier (93605) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485741)

but with a voice like that I can pictuer any thing I want.

Re:Videogames' spelling (1)

limbostar (116177) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485742)

Actually, I think that the person who put it together had a primary language other than english.

At least, I -hope- they did...

-Stephen.

Score 1; Troll (2)

Issue9mm (97360) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485743)

Just wanted to say thank you to whatever moderator realized that this post was NOT meant as troll, and moderated it back up.

Maybe it's my dim-witted brain, but I freaked out hardcore to find that a tongue in cheek jest had been moderated down to troll.

CHECK ME OUT http://www.dotslash.org CHECK ME OUT (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485744)

&#32

Re:Katzdot (1)

jgibson (14889) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485745)

That Katzdot headline generator is good for a laugh, but I was hoping it would actually write an article. You know, like Pakin's automatic complaint letter generator. Oh well.

Or the fabulous Australian Postmodernism Generator [monash.edu.au] .

painful typo... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485746)

"While we're on the subject of Slashdot, it's worth nothing that ThinkGeek is now carrying new Slashdot T-Shirts." I think the intended word was "noting" and not "nothing". Or maybe it really is worth nothing? I hope not ;D

Re:What about Y5B? (3)

Imperator (17614) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485749)

How I understand it (not that I really do) is that the sun will become a red giant and expand to roughly the orbit or Mars. Quadrillions of Linux-using sentient beings will whine about the loss of their uptime.

up 185271828182 days, 07:42 min

Re:Drop the Chalupa! (1)

whoosp (95622) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485751)

Oh wow, so it's people at your school that came up with that? way to go creative juices!

C.H.I.M.P. (1)

SDrifter (120878) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485752)

Wait a minute...
Chimps aren't monkeys!
What are these guys at ThinkGeek trying to pull?
But one of those little guys would be kind of cool to have around.

RSI (3)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485760)

Yikes, the nurse at school said it wouldn't hurt me!

More gems (was Re:Katzdot..) (1)

Woodlark (3628) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485761)

Society, The Post-Columbine World and The Music Industry
The Truth About Lo-Tech Sexbots
Hidden Microsoft To Behold
Why Do Lurkers Kill?
The Music Industry, Hidden Sexbots and Hope

*sigh* You know it's near the end of the term when...
Droit devant soi on ne peut pas aller bien loin...

Re:RSI injury... (1)

Glytch (4881) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485762)

Technically, neurosurgeons work on the nervous system as a whole.

Re:dayeight (1)

m3000 (46427) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485763)

I released that link in a videogame IRC room just now, and they absolutly loved it. I especially like this [tgfn.com] one. I just wonder how long it'll be until it gets Slashdoted.

Another personal injury story. (4)

mrsam (12205) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485764)

I'm surprised nobody submitted the one where a man is suing Starbucks because the toilet in their restroom crushed his penis [yahoo.com] .

Hey, that doesn't sound like such a bad deal to me. Get your 1.5 million bucks, then go on a vaction to Australia. While you're their, stop by the local cosmetic surgeon and pay a small fee to have your penis reconstructed [interneticons.com.au] . Afterwards, you're good as new, and you have an extra million bucks in the bank account.
--

Re:Katzdot.. (2)

Russ Steffen (263) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485765)

Why do Anonymous Cowards kill?

Enough said.

Re:Steve Forbes Quickie (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485766)

Leenix or Lihnux, sure. But Loonux?

Who knows if I'll end up being the first to point it out, but it just goes to show how loony these campaigns are getting.

That calulator is not Y2K compliant.... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485767)

How to piss off dumb office workers....

state that all calculators need to be Y2K compliant. This can be easily checked by entering '99 + 1 ='

Any answer other than 2000 will show that the calculator is non Y2K compliant, and the manufacturer must be contacted to rectify this immediately.

who knows, it might work.....

quickies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485768)

These quickies just go to show you that Microsoft is intent on destroying the computer industry!

Only LINUX can save us now!!!

Carpal Tunnel....I believe her (3)

Filter (6719) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485769)

my wrists are killing me...

Re:Katzdot.. (1)

cpt kangarooski (3773) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485780)

I rather enjoyed:

It's Time For Lo-Tech Culture
Spiritual Cinema and Intellectual Property: The Movie
The Interactive Internet War - It's About Time

but my favorite was:

Why Do MP3s Feel Pain?

(So is the RIAA just acting humanely or what?)

Office 2000 (1)

PovRayMan (31900) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485781)

I wonder if that Office 2000 super counter thingy doesn't GPF on me. Being an accountant, I really need the latest software!

(I was trying to say something funny, but anything I tried just flat out sucked. I'm just trying to make fun of microsoft and this Office 2000 page on xoom.com. I suck)

:)

-PovRayMan

Re:Another personal injury story. (2)

awkwardone (77785) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485782)

Are you serious?

How the hell do you do something like that? I don't think that my penis is worth $1.5 million. No amount of money could make up for the loss of "activity" that would result from a crushed penis (not that I would know, I'm a virgin). Personally, I think it's the guy's fault for not exercising care to keep his penis out of danger while he was dropping his little friends off at the pool.

Could I sue if a McDonald's milkshake between my legs freezes my testes and penis and causes discomfort? Hey, it worked for hot coffee; perhaps it could work for cold beverages as well!

There certainly are some *weird* people in this world...



awkwardone

Re:Y1K (2)

awkwardone (77785) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485783)

Wait until Y10K... eight thousand years from now. Unless something is done to avert a disaster, just about ALL of the world's computers (except maybe Macs) will shit the bed on January 1, 10000.

Disaster is always imminent... it just tends not to manifest itself.



awkwardone

My disease (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 14 years ago | (#1485784)

It's nothing like CTS. I have a very rare disease in which large pieces of furniture, broken bottles, old syringes, rusted razor blades, old lead acid batteries, and Microsoft software blow out of my ass.

I went to several doctors and they eventually they had me see a physicist. His theory is that my ass is somehow linked via a wormhole to a trash dump. I wouldn't have guessed it to be a trash dump, but then the presence of Microsoft software proved that it indeed was a trash dump.

If *anyone* knows what I can do to 'cure' this dilemma my sphincter is in please let me know. I hang out here on slashdot when my sphincter allows and I go by the name 'Anonymous Coward.'

Particularly funny quotes from Katzdot (1)

David Price (1200) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485785)

"Being Different Demands Cyberterrorism"

"Giving Thanks For The Internet Warfare"

"Descent into Post-Columbine Flamers"

"Beware the Online Net"

90's patriarchy to the extreme (0)

heroine (1220) | more than 14 years ago | (#1485786)

I thought women in the 90's were just a little too obsessed with men providing everything for them. Suing your male managers for compensation on a masturbation job is too much. Why don't they just get the damn technical degree, get a real job and heaven forbid, win the bread.
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