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The Physics of Beer Bubbles

Zonk posted more than 6 years ago | from the researchers-put-in-a-lot-of-overtime-on-this-one dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 113

Roland Piquepaille writes "Yesterday, I told you about virtual beer. Today, we follow two North America researchers who are studying the physics of real beer bubbles. 'Singly scattered waves form the basis of many imaging techniques such as radar or seismic exploration.' But pouring beer in a mug involves multiply scattered acoustic waves. They are more complex to study, but they can be used to look at various phenomena, such as predicting volcanic eruptions or understanding the movement of particles in fluids like beer. They also could be used to monitor the structural health of bridges and buildings or the stability of food products over time. Read more for additional references and a photo showing how the researchers monitor beer bubbles."

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ZDNet gave Roland a blog?! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125593)

They must be desperate... And that photo? Hilarious! Anyway, where's the real news like the unmasking of Fake Steve Jobs?

Re:ZDNet gave Roland a blog?! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20126203)

I sat naked on the bench in the health club locker room, staring at the tiles on the floor between my feet, but really looking at nothing. I was waiting for Jamal to decide to come up and talk to me. He was this muscular teenage nigger who frequented the club and had ruined my life in the last few weeks. I was ordered to sit naked on the bench without a towel or anything to cover my nakedness. I had to keep my legs spread and my cock and balls visible for the anyone In the locker room who wanted a look. I knew instantly that it had been a mistake to sign up at the inner city health club which was eighty percent black, but It was near my house and cheap which was even more important.

The harassment had started on my first visit. Dark skinned, muscular black boys bouncing around the locker room with their huge dicks and pendulous sacks of balls swinging, high fiving each other and laughing and rapping, and there I was, this moderately built white guy of thirty two.

I will never forget coming back from the shower and one chocolate skinned thug of about eighteen let out a "weeeeeeeow" kind of sound and then said very loudly to me, loudly enough for all his pals to hear, "White man, how the hell can you fuck wit such a small dick?" They all roared with laughter and I turned bright red. Before I left that first time, I med Jamal. He eased up to me while I was packing my gym bag. He is one good looking darkie, I will say that for him. He flashed me a big white toothed smile and said he hoped I wasn't thinking of quitting the club. He said he was friends with the manager and they had my address and shit, and it would be really unfortunate if I decided to quit. Then he laid one large basketball player sized hand on my shoulder and said that he would see me at the same time the next day.

Well, that's how it started. It got worse each time I went to the club. Jamal and the other niggers got me to get towels for them, had me scrub their backs in the shower, even made me pick their dirty stinking jock straps up off the floor. They sent their filthy jocks and socks home with me to wash for them.

Now let me state here once and for all, that I am in no way at all gay. I don't think I ever even had a gay thought. So all of this really repulsed me. They would brush up against me so their big fat black dicks rubbed my body. They would make constant jokes about me being a faggot.

So I had it out with Jamal. I told him I was a single parent with a thirteen year old daughter and in no way gay, and I wanted to quit the club. That mention of my daughter was the biggest mistake of my life. Jamal demanded to see a photo of her. Her name is Crissy. After that, all they talked about was "Crissy the Cunt" in the locker room.

"Some fourteen year old school boy probably shoving his dick in her right now while you is at da club." They would say things like that. Jamal would ask, "Do you suppose she had ever sucked black dick?" I told them she was totally innocent, and they should keep their foul mouths to themselves. They beat the shit out of me.

I didn't go to the club for a week. All the windows were broken on my car, and my newspaper was stolen, and somebody pissed all over our door. I received a package at work, and when I opened it, there was a pile of shit in a box. I was going nuts with anguish. I thought of going to the police, but I knew I would face even worse if I did. So I went back to the club. That was two months ago. A lot had happened in those two months.

Now I sat waiting for Jamal to speak with me. He walked up, stark naked. The first thing I saw were his huge brown feet next to me. I looked up at his long muscular legs. How could I miss the seven inch flaccid dick, thick as a flashlight and the ball sack that looked like it had oranges in it. It was fucking obscene. His stomach was hard and tight. His ass was one of those round tight nigger bubble butts. His chest well defined with large nipples. He had a killer smile, thick nigger lips, and dark flashing eyes that often looked drugged. He had only recently gotten out of reform school for molesting a girl on the playground.

"So, my man, how's that little dick of yours hangin'?"

I spread my legs wider so he could see my pathetic shriveled white prick and small ball sack. If I didn't keep myself on display for them at all times, they would have a wet towel snapping session where my scrotum was the target. It hurt like hell and was totally humiliating.

"So, bro, is everything set up for tomorrow?" He stood close to me...so close that his huge flaccid hunk of fuck meat brushed my shoulder. His dick was so huge, it was just fucking obscene, and that was in its flaccid state. He had not showered yet, and his body reeked of the nigger stink of his workout.

"Please. Please don't do this. I know I agreed, but that was after you had beaten me almost senseless. Please, isn't there some other way?"

He lifted one leg and put his foot on the bench next to me. His gigantic balls swung back and forth in their fleshy sack.

"Dere is no other fucking way, man. You don't wanna even think of what we gonna do to you next time you disobeys us. Dere is no other way. Now it so happens dat I needs me a new girlfriend, and your pretty little daughter fills da bill."

I felt my stomach turn over. I tried to relax, to breath deeply, but I felt like I was choking. This teenage nigger thug was talking about my daughter. My little Crissy. My thirteen year old angel. He had announced to me that he wanted her to become his girlfriend! Jesus Christ!

At first I had bluntly refused, letting my anger and disgust show. All the niggers in the club gathered around me, about fifteen of them, and Jamal announced that I was racially prejudiced and didn't want him dating his white daughter. They started to slap and punch me.

"It's not that. Honest to God, I swear, it's not that you are black. It's that she is only thirteen. She's my innocent baby!"

Jamal roared with laughter. "Any bitch of thirteen is totally ready for dick! She probably sucking da boys at school every day anyway by now." He looked at the photo of her which he had taken from me. "Yeah, she got real cocksucker lips, she shore do!"

"Oh God no, she's just a baby." I was crying in front of all of them.

"No, daddy, you gots it wrong. She is a babe...not a baby. Dat pretty little pussy is ready for some nigger popping!" Half the niggers surrounding me were getting hard ons, and I don't there there was one under eight and a half inches.

For weeks I had argued, begged, pleaded, tried to bargain with Jamal, but he only wanted one thing. My daughter's virgin pussy. Once I stood up to them and told them I would go to the police. They had dragged me naked and screaming into the health club bathroom and forced me to eat turds out of the toilet bowl. I was sick for two days. The next time I went to the club, Jamal had made me suck his dick. That was the first time I saw it erect. Over twelve inches of throbbing leaking nigger cock. I had a panic attack and literally tried to run out of the club. They held me down on a bench and Jamal fed me his black fuck meat. His balls almost suffocated me. His dick choked me. He even made me suck his ass. What could I do? I agreed to let them have my daughter. I know, I am an awful man. A sinner. It is unforgivable, but I am scared out of my wits.

"So, tomorrow, I comes over to yo house dressed up real good. You introduce me to yo bitch daughter. Now when I sees her, dis is how I wants her dressed. A very tight tee shirt dat says printed on it, "I Love Nigga Dick!" She will wear no bra under it so I can see the tips of her budding little titties through the material. Den she is to wear her nice pleated cheer leader skirt like in da photo, only I don want her to wear no panties under it. From now on, yo daughter is forbidden to ever wear any panties. We want dat fresh young cunt and ass ready and available at all times. I want you to have some really top drawer booze at yo house ready for me. I am not sure what I will want, so you better have enough to satisfy me, whatever my taste might be. Who da fuck knows, I may want a cosmo, or maybe some of dat Louis XIII Brandy dat costs three hundred dollars. You better have it all. After I has a drink, you pretty little bitch and I gonna sit on da couch and get acquainted. Dat means you as da daddy get to watch me finger her cunt and play wit her titties. You gets to see her meet my big fat old dick and even lick and suck it a little. I always insists on sex on da first date, cause how else you know how a bitch perform, right? Shit, I insist on sex on every date. I mean dat is da only reason for da fucking date..to plow some pussy! Right? Otherwise I'd rather hang wit da home boys. Now she gonna be a little uptight and scared at firs...right? Specially when she see my dick and she know dat huge motherfucker is gonna plow her virgin twat! Oh yea, if she got any hair on her cunt yet, you make sure she shave it all off before tomorrow. I wanna see bald thirteen year old pussy."

While he said all of this to me at the health club, his dick got thicker and thicker and long strings of pre-fuck started to hang from the fat pisshole.

"Please don't hurt her...please." I was shaking in my naked agony.

"Hurt her? No why the fuck would I hurt my new girlfriend? I gonna love her. I gonna show her da pleasures of lovemaking. Shore, it gonna hurt a little da first time I ram my twelve and a half inch motherfucking dick balls deep into her tight little teenage pussy. Shore it gonna hurt when I pounds her as hard as I can, and den pull out and shove it as hard as I can up her little asshole. Shore dat gonna hurt a little, but dat is jus' part of growin' up. A her daddy, you understand dat. Right? Better to hab some nice boy like me who wants her for his girlfriend fucking her, den every boy at school who don't give a shit about her.

"Now don't you worry, I gonna take her into the bedroom to fuck her cunt and ass. I think dat is private. I mean, you can watch da first time she suck my balls and lick my dick and such. But fucking is between a guy and his girlfriend. I wants you dere at the start...at the sucking part, cause she is gonna be scared like I say, and you can calm her. Tell her it is a natural part of life, and she just gotta learn to please a man. She, she shoulda learned dat couple of years ago already. She is a late bloomer.

Now I am gonna want to use her bedroom for da first fuck,cause I wants to fuck her little bitch body in her teenage bed, wit all her teenage shit around. It will be so hot. But den, I is moving into your master bedroom. You can sleep on da couch. I wants a nice big bed and luxury for future fucks. I gotta fuck at least three times a day, usually more. Now of course I still going to be bangin' other cunt, but I will fuck your daughter regularly cause she is my number one girlfriend. My special bitch. I ain't gonna introduce her to my bros until after I fuck her for a week or so. Den when she broken in, I gonna share her with all da boys from dis here health club. Dere about twenty of us here as you know, so she gonna be pretty busy sucking nigga dick and getting ass and cunt fucked. We gonna do mos' of it over at yo house. You have lots of food dere at all times fo my brothers when dey comes over to fuck your daughter. Since she be fucking most every day all day and night from now on, I suggest you apply to home school her. Dat way, she don't even need to think about school and she can concentrate on nigga cock all da time."

"Please, please use condoms...." I had tears running down my face.

Jamal roared with laughter. "Condoms? Shit...no. We never use condoms. It ruins da fuck. Dat little bitch gonna be pregnant in a couple of weeks at mos'. You gonna be da grand daddy of a nigga chile! And who knows. She young. If she stay tight enough and cute enough, maybe we fuck her for three or four years, you know, pass her around, pimp her out. Shit, she still young enough. She could hab five or six nigga babies! We don' allow no abortions. She gonna breed. Now my brothers and daddy be comin' over lots to fuck her too, so you better have lots of keys to yo house made, or jus' leave the fucking place unlocked. She don't leave da house without permission. I would hate it for both of you if some black bro comes over for a good hard fuck, and she not dere! Now I know you worried about her. Don' be. After a few days of getting nigga dick, she gonna love it so much, dat all she gonna live for. I seen it in young white bitches lots of times. Someday she gonna thank you for all dis. I mean how many girls her age so lucky to get ten to fifteen black cocks a day? Long as her pussy and asshole hold up, she be happy. One thing, she gonna hab to be a really good cocksucker, cause One thig is dat when da boys in my hood meet up wit guys from other gangs...we got dis thing. We hab our girlfriends suck da cocks of all da members of the other gangs, as kind of a peace signal, you know, a sign dat we is kewl and everything is okay. So she gonna pretty much hab a dick in her mouth twenty-four seven for da next few months. She gonna be sucking on nigga dick even when she getting fucked by my bros. Dis house gonna be pretty packed full of black boys! Now, after a bitch has sucked fifteen to twenty dicks a day, she often get a real tired jaw and swollen lips and a sore tongue, so you gonna have to tell her no matter how tired she get, da last dick of da day she suck, gets jus' as good a suck as da first one in da morning. You gotta make sue she understand that. I can't have no bad reports from rival gangs dat my bitch can't suck!

Now we gots one more problem. Da little bitch gonna be so busy getting fucked and sucking dick, she ain't gonna hab no proper time to clean up da dicks after dey fuck her cunt and ass! You know it da bitch's job to clean a dick wit her mouth after a brother fuck her. I mean, you can't expect a brother to walk around wit pussy slime or ass juice on his dick. But she gonna be so busy, she ain't always gonna hab time to clean up, so you my friend is going to have to step up to da plate to help her. You gonna be the official dick cleaner. You gonna lick and suck da dicks clean after dey fuck yo bitch of a daughter. I want you naked on you hands and knees at all times around da house, ready to lick and suck dick clean. And you gonna do a fine job too, I just know it. You get all dat stink off da cock. Maybe you can entertain da brothers waiting next in line to fuck yo daughter too by lickig dere balls and assholes. I never thought of dat until just now. Hot damn, dat is a good idea, ain't it? So dey don't get bored while dey waitin. And den, to keep your daughter fresh and tight, after every three or four fucks, you gonna crawl in and suck the nigga cum right outta her pussy and asshole. Think how great dat is. You gonna get to suck some thirteen year old pussy and asshole! How lucky is dat? You gonna clean out her cunt real good with yo tongue so it is ready for da next nigga.

We gonna be da happiest family you ever seen! Now come on, white boy, suck my dick, can't you see it dripping all over da floor?"

I put my mouth over the head of the huge leaking hunk of fuckmeat, and resigned myself and my daughter to our new destiny.

Frosty Piss (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125597)

On Topic

Re:Frosty Piss (5, Funny)

sokoban (142301) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125703)

I'm afraid that Frosty Piss will only be considered on topic if you're talking about Budweiser served in a chilled mug.

Re:Frosty Piss (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125855)

Frosty Piss is exactly how I would describe Budweiser under any circumstance.

Under the wrong influence... (3, Funny)

creimer (824291) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125617)

Sorry, I'll take my beer without the scientific mumbo jumbo. If I wanted to get technical, I would drink wines and learn how to sniff corks.

Re:Under the wrong influence... (-1, Troll)

Evilest Doer (969227) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126167)

. If I wanted to get technical, I would drink wines and learn how to sniff cocks.
Sniff cocks? I don't know if such things are welcome on /.!

Re:Under the wrong influence... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20127505)

Sniff cocks? I don't know if such things are welcome on /.!

You must be new here.

Re:Under the wrong influence... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20127949)

1: Exhale normally
2: Locate cork near nasal orifice
3: Inhale deeply and slowly
4: You should smell vapor coming off the cork

I say people who class wine as a more 'sophisticated' and 'connoisseur' drink are fuckwads. The kind of people who tailor their tastes to what they think will present them as the person they are comfortable being.

I've heard people say 'I don't like the taste of beer' (nobody likes the taste of anything, you acquire all tastes.) and then say 'I like wine, it has so much history'.

Beer is the world's oldest alcoholic beverage. It has more history and more manly funny stories than wine. Wine? Yeah, 'oh trish I was sloshed at the office christmas party and kissed kevin from the mail room'. Ok Sheila you 30 something spinster discovering your sexuality amidst mixed feelings of feminist rage and inadequacy, what a win for Wine that was.

Whereas many a tale of Beer consumption has resulted in sank ships, lion wrestling and discovered gold mines.

Beer FTW!

Re:Under the wrong influence... (1)

It'sYerMam (762418) | more than 6 years ago | (#20129511)

I have almost the opposite problem. I prefer wine to beer, although I'm a connoisseur of neither. At least in the UK, if you want a drink down the pub, a glass of wine gets you laughed out of the door. If you want to be accepted then you can't appear sophisticated - you have to pretend you like beer.

Screw Roland (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125653)

Got Greasemonkey? Don't want to see Roland 'Slashdotters-are-my-ad-view-bitches' Piquepaille's stories?

Screw Roland Piquepaille [userscripts.org]

Devil's Advocate here. (0, Flamebait)

thatskinnyguy (1129515) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125675)

Isn't there something more worth while that scientists could be researching?

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (5, Funny)

weak* (1137369) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125739)

Isn't there something more worth while that scientists could be researching?
No.

Devil's weather Man (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20126049)

Yes, there is, the effect of CO2 produced by the fermentation of beer and how that causes global warming, so we must stop the production of beer right now!!! And save the world from global warming.

Besides, the rain fall that is happening on the east coast of the US will drain into the Atlantic and cause an imbalance in the salinity of the ocean and cause the gulf stream to dis-function, as it is thought to have done in the 1300's and cause another mini-ice age, so who cares?

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (5, Interesting)

BlueParrot (965239) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125753)

Yea, because it is possible to determine now what will be worthwhile science in 50 years time... You know quantum mechanics pretty much started with physicists trying to explain how infra-red radiation behaves inside a hot oven. I doubt many people at the time expected that research to develop into solid-state physics, which is what the guys over at Intel rely on to make their CPUs...

As opposed to AMD... (1)

JeanPaulBob (585149) | more than 6 years ago | (#20129847)

I doubt many people at the time expected that research to develop into solid-state physics, which is what the guys over at Intel rely on to make their CPUs...
As opposed to the guys over at AMD, who use phlogiston theory to make their CPUs.

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (4, Insightful)

chuckymonkey (1059244) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126023)

Maybe, but sometimes science is about researching things that are fun and fairly mundane. Much of what you take for granted such as a cell phone and computer came from research that many at the time scoffed at saying that it had no practical purpose. So really who are we to say what avenue of research will yield useful results? After all when it comes to fluids there is quite a bit that I'm sure we don't understand and research such as this may provide a little snowball of insight that turns into an avalanche of knowledge. Do I think it will? Not really, but hey they're having fun and who the hell knows where it could lead?

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (5, Insightful)

intx13 (808988) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126039)

It always bothers me when laypeople decide what is worth researching. Any time there's an article in which scientists are studying something without the obvious global impact of an AIDS cure, there is always a handful of posters criticizing their focus. Would we really be any closer to a cure if every person with a scientific background was required to study AIDS, and only AIDS?

Scientific breakthroughs aren't needles in haystacks, waiting to be found through tedious searching, and if only we made everyone look for them we'd find them sooner. Instead we let scientists research as they wish, the exact requirements for usefulness being decided by sources of funding, and eventually enough seemingly-unrelated, small conclusions come together to yield the breakthrough.

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20126119)

>It always bothers me when laypeople

This is Slashdot, there are no people getting laid.

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (3, Insightful)

Londovir (705740) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127719)

Your argument sounds as though you are adopting the "monkeys at typewriters" view. Although I'll grant that some great achievements have been made by combining smaller conclusions together (technically that's almost the definition of science), there have been a number of things that were discovered as the result of dedicated, untiring study and research. Consider the Manhatten Project, the polio vaccine, and the Apollo NASA project. Each relied, in part, on other seemingly random research, but the true nature of the breakthroughs came from the mandate that brought the projects together. (In fact, it's a debatable point that the Apollo project represents the largest, and most expensive, scientific project conceived for a single purpose in recorded history)

The bottom line is there is a clear causal relationship between directed scientific study and scientific results. That's not to say that an AIDS cure, for example, will be guaranteed to be discovered should scientists be thrown at the problem. However, I think it's incorrect to think that breakthroughs can't be found sooner if more research were directed towards their discovery.

Do I think an AIDS cure could be found if we required every person with a scientific background to research it? Absolutely - if one exists, and I believe one does. Science has proven time and again that, when motivated by necessity, it is quite capable. Penicillin, although previously researched, was difficult to mass produce until the mid-40s. It was due, in large part, to the dedicated work of Florey & Chain, that made the necessary breakthroughs leading to expanded use - and that was partly due to the urgent need for the drug during WW2.

The point is there should be some scrutiny involved in academic research. I have a hard time stomaching stories which expand upon seemingly ludicrous scientific research. If it is the result of random ennui being "itched" by a scientist in his free time, that's fantastic. If it's the result of a directed, 6+ figure research grant, I'm more concerned. There are some issues in society that must be solved by applied science, and should be done in an expedient fashion. If that means we need to take scientists and make them research some topics, perhaps we should. If the world is facing a pandemic such as AIDS, SARS, or Avian Influenza, frankly I want there to be an all-out science "assualt" on the problem. Same goes for a potential NEO collision. And if the money for the research programs comes from taxpayers (as it does for some studies), then "laypeople" have every right to scrutinize the process.

All too often us "laypeople" are fed stories where a scientist heads up a multimillion research project that studies frivolous things, and the justification is that it could lead to diverse breakthroughs, usually related to a recent event. For example, this article points out how the research could help improve techniques in studying the structural integrity of bridges. I actually had to verify the article date because this seemed like a pandering to the recent bridge collapse, although in reality it's just a grim coincidence. Although it would be hard to quantify, I'm willing to guess that the number of scientific discoveries found by accident would be less than the number of discoveries that came about as the result of directed research. Using the penicillin reference, the original antibacterial nature of penicillin may have been an accidental discovery - but the refinement, production, delivery, and derivation of alternative penicillin treatments are all results of directed study.

For what it's worth, I notice in the article that this "beer study" wasn't the focus of the scientist's work, so I'm not as concerned. (It seems from his own admission that it's more of a related diversion.)

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (4, Funny)

drsquare (530038) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126751)

This is incredibly important research. If they keep it up, it's only a matter of time before they develop a can or bottle where the beer has the same consistency as when it's hand-drawn. They can't do that without researching beer bubbles. The widget has been obsolete for far too long, it's the 21st century for heaven's sake.

If they can spend $17 billion a year on NASA to launch a few people into space to do nothing of use, they can spend a couple of billion to get me a pub-like pint of ale at home, at supermarket prices.

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (3, Insightful)

digitig (1056110) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128005)

Isn't there something more worth while that scientists could be researching?
More worthwhile than a technique that can be used for monitoring the structural health of bridges? Hey, there must be; it's not as if structural health of bridges is a significant issue anywhere at the moment, is it?

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (1)

thatskinnyguy (1129515) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128767)

But that will all blow over in a matter of months. Americans are easily distracted by other things. To really understand how to build a bridge though, look no further than Ancient Rome. Now those guys knew a bridge from a hole in the ground!

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (1)

tastiles (466054) | more than 6 years ago | (#20129121)

Actually, as a researcher in medical ultrasound, this is amazingly important stuff.

I was surprised that the article didn't mention diagnostic ultrasound. When you have an ultrasound performed, the scanner assumes any sound that it receives originates from a single scatterer and that that the location of that scatterer is based on the speed of sound in tissue (about 1540 m/s).

My lab has recently been performing some work on the extent of multiple scattering in tissue, and it's quite larger than what was previously thought. This contributes to the "noise" that you see on an ultrasound image. If work on multiple scattering (whether in beer or tissue) can help with this problem, ultrasound (a cheap, safe imaging modality) could be much more beneficial.

Re:Devil's Advocate here. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20129353)

We receive our research assignments from Central Science Control. If you are dissatisfied with the current state of Science (tm), please fill out one of the feedback forms.

Funding plays a large role in determining what gets researched. If you want to see more scientists researching the Cure for Cancer, then donate to a suitable cancer charity.

I'm in the wrong business (3, Funny)

HangingChad (677530) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125689)

Read more for additional references and a photo showing how the researchers monitor beer bubbles.

People are getting paid to study beer? Where do I sign up?

Work for Anheuser-Busch (1, Informative)

tepples (727027) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126223)

People are getting paid to study beer? Where do I sign up?
You could always apply for a job with Anheuser-Busch [buschjobs.com].

Re:Work for Anheuser-Busch (1)

spikedvodka (188722) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126391)

He did say "Beer" not "Watered down horse-piss"

Re:Work for Anheuser-Busch (1)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126803)

Heh, no doubt.

Real men drink real beer. Examples include, (but not limited to) Bass, Shiner, Dos Equis, Fat Tire (New Belgium Brewery) and just about anything imported from Germany.

Wow, I posted something about beer on slashdot, and it's on-topic!

Re:Work for Anheuser-Busch (1)

Cadallin (863437) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126943)

If real men drink beer, then who's drinking aged single-malt whiskeys?

Re:Work for Anheuser-Busch (1)

Minwee (522556) | more than 6 years ago | (#20129053)

If real men drink beer, then who's drinking aged single-malt whiskeys?

Aliens, obviously.

At your local micro-brewery (2, Interesting)

Flying pig (925874) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127993)

Forget the big brewers, they are just marketing organisations. Eventually the product will consist of yellow dye and bio-ethanol, and by then the "consumer" won't even notice. The real research is done in small breweries and micro-breweries. Just get yourself an MSc or PhD in microbiology first.

Nowadays the thing I ask myself is "will this job be of any value if civilisation collapses?" If you work in a call centre or IT, be very afraid...but if you can fix a broken irrigation pump or generator, build a house from traditional materials, grow food or brew beer, you probably have a future. Why beer? Well, apart from the likely demand for the product qua beer, earlier societies produced "small beer" (i.e. low strength) for general consumption because the brewing process killed fecal and soil bacteria, and the alcohol then kept the product sterile. In a society without clean drinking water, and no sewers, beer was what stood between you and dysentery.

Possible uses (5, Interesting)

fishthegeek (943099) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125705)

They could use the random interactions of the beer bubbles as a random number generator for crypto. This is much cooler than the plain ol' lava-lamp random number generator that Sun uses.

Plus this gives the added advantage of being able to recruit college students that are torn between a degree in Art History, and one in Math by telling them that they'll be forced to work with beer. It's a Win/Win situation!

Re:Possible uses (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125757)

So cracking CSS would be reduced to waiting for the beer to go flat?

Re:Possible uses (1)

LordLucless (582312) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128017)

The problem would be having to refill the RNG every time a grad student walks past. People only try and drink a lava-lamp once.

Yahoo reference (4, Funny)

edwardpickman (965122) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125709)

Yeah but have they split the Beer atom?

What about tea? (3, Funny)

feepness (543479) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125729)

And can it be used to power a starship drive [wikipedia.org]?

Re:What about tea? (3, Interesting)

1u3hr (530656) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126805)

And can it be used to power a starship drive?

Of course the Infinite Improbability Drive is powered by tea.

But Poul Anderson had a real beer-powered spaceship. [fantasticfiction.co.uk]

Re:What about tea? (1)

etwills (471396) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128995)

And can it be used to power a starship drive?
Of course the Infinite Improbability Drive is powered by tea.

Depends which Hitchhiker's version. Apparently, in the German radio episodes, 'a nice cool beer replaces hot tea as the source for brownian motion. While this appears as nonsense from a scientific point of view, it was perhaps done because of the cliché that beer is "the favourite drink in Germany" instead of tea' [Wikipedia 'Differences...' article [wikipedia.org]].

A pig pile by any other name... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125767)

Way to go Zonk, you're tired of people complaining about your porkpail blog submissions so you hide them as links in other articles. Wow... just wow. Please please PLEASE stop giving Roland money.

tagged "fuckroland" (0, Flamebait)

SuperBanana (662181) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125793)

"Yesterday, I told you about virtual beer.

Translation:

"Yesterday, I made inane commentary, ripped off images from the parent site, and quoted blocks of text whole-sale. I did this instead of submitting a story to Slashdot with links to the original site, because that wouldn't get me and CNET ad revenue. And now I'm doing it again today."

Can we please get a Roland filter, a la Jon Katz? And can Slashdot please stop linking to useless blogs?

Re:tagged "fuckroland" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20126607)

Can we please get a Roland filter, a la Jon Katz? And can Slashdot please stop linking to useless blogs?

Don't like it?

Don't read it!

Re:tagged "fuckroland" (1)

Zeebs (577100) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126863)

Don't like it?
Don't read it!



This would be the point of a filter, Roland. (shhh about this being ac as well.)

Re:tagged "fuckroland" (1)

Zeebs (577100) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126879)

FAIL on my part oh well, flaming in public, c'est la vie. My hobby exposed :(

Don't act like you've never done it... except the several of you that will, I'm in no position to make comments :P

Re:tagged "fuckroland" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20127413)

Didn't write it?

Don't post it.

Re:tagged "fuckroland" (1)

1u3hr (530656) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126783)

I though I invented the "fuckroland" tag ... I suppose it's a fairly obvious idea.

Anyway, it seems that after a few weeks of just submitting articles to lull the editors, he's returned, as he ALWAYS does, to pimping his own "blog" (of plagiarised stories and pictures) linked "Read more for additional references ..."

roland piquepaille filter (1)

TerminalSpin (766133) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127797)

There are a few Roland Piquepaille filters available - they take the form of Greasemonkey scripts running in Firefox

I use this one: http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/5735/ [userscripts.org] it's called NoRoland - if userscripts.org is down (again), the author (Dave?) hosts it on his own site too - http://davephp.net/ [davephp.net]

It's very effective - all I see of Roland's pollution now is a greyed out article box with the words "This is a slashvertisement. Please ignore!"

Most of the time I choose to "ignore"

guinness beer guys. (5, Funny)

CrAlt (3208) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125859)

I can hear them now..

guinness beer guys: "Mixing math with beer? Brilliant!!"

Re:guinness beer guys. (1)

jkiol (1050424) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125941)

pffft! I've been doing this for a while, coding in the afternoon without beers at lunch does nothing but produce bugs!

Roland Zonkpaille (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20125881)

'nuff said.

Re:Roland Zonkpaille (4, Informative)

sanyasi (900484) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127137)

I know a lot of people think Roland Piquepaille has 'reformed' because hes no longer linking to primidi, but Roland is still whoring Slashdot for ad views and the like - its just that he is now employed by zdnet. [masternewmedia.org] The links in the summary all link to his new blog run by zdnet.
Im not saying that its wrong to do this - but dont be fooled into thinking that his new links are somehow 'genuine' and hes not whoring as usual.

One thing that's always interested me... (5, Interesting)

Fyz (581804) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125889)

I work at a bar, and sometimes i see an interesting phenomenon in beer glasses. If you leave a draft beer out and let the foam fizzle away, after a while(but not too long or the foam will disappear completely) the foam will coalesce into a ring shaped pattern of circles, equally sized and spaced and at the same distance from the rim and centre of the glass.
It takes about half an hour for this pattern to form, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what makes it!
Anyone?

Re:One thing that's always interested me... (5, Funny)

xs650 (741277) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125961)

I would like to help you out, but a poured beer has never sat for 30 minutes.

Cheers

Re:One thing that's always interested me... (2, Funny)

xs650 (741277) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125971)

Edit:

I would like to help you out, but a poured beer has never sat for 30 minutes in my presence.

Cheers

Re:One thing that's always interested me... (1)

porl (932021) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126395)

no, i think you were right the first time. anyone who claims otherwise is just wanting you to 'test' the theory by leaving them with a glass of beer...

Re:One thing that's always interested me... (4, Interesting)

gardyloo (512791) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126087)

I would guess you are seeing a combination of the "Cheerio Effect" (see Wikipedia) and the mild feedback as popping and coalescing bubbles set up standing waves (approximately at the maxima of the J0 Bessel functions which would describe such waves confined at the liquid interface).

Re:One thing that's always interested me... (3, Interesting)

glomph (2644) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126447)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B%C3%A9nard_cells [wikipedia.org] I believe it's related to this phenomenon, the bubbles act as markers. I've seen these while flying over small ponds in New England in the early A.M., composed of the fog over the (relatively) warm water.

Ig Nobel is pleased! (1)

strredwolf (532) | more than 6 years ago | (#20125975)

Ahhh, someone is taking up his groundbreaking research into beer bubble paths. Soon we shall be able to find out irreproducable his work truly is!

Re:Ig Nobel is pleased! (1)

History's Coming To (1059484) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126189)

Now, now.....he's doing proper research.


*smirk*


They said the laser was of no practical use when it was invented.....


*snigger*


"You could potentially use this technique to monitor the product to make sure it remains stable over time."


Oh good grief, all that research and what does he comes up with? A chocolate-quality-control device. Release the hounds....

Getting the cash (4, Funny)

eebra82 (907996) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126009)

Scientist: Our group would like to study beer bubbles. Board member: Denied. We need a cure for cancer. Scientist: But it's really important -- like that Norwegian study which proved that penguins don't fall on their back when observing passing planes. Board member: Sorry, but it's not viable. Scientist: You can have 20 percent of the beer. Board member: Will $200,000 do?

This does bring up the question... (1)

mdenham (747985) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126035)

...if you put a beer into a soundproof booth, are the bubbles still going to behave how the researchers expect them to?

Oh no! It's Roland! (0, Redundant)

siglercm (6059) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126043)

Sorry, but all Roland posts are inherently blog-hit-whoring. This one has direct links to his ZDnet blog. He does get paid for that, right???

Oblig.: Pls. tag as ohnoitsroland -- and thanks.

And now for a semi-useful related result (1)

dkleinsc (563838) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126339)

Although I won't go give Roland a pile of cash, I think it's worth mentioning that there's this amusing little video [stanford.edu]regarding beer bubble physics.

It's all on why bubbles in Guinness move down.

Blatant grant fishing for beer money. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20126341)

>> They also could be used to monitor the structural health of bridges

Nice try.

let us have our fun, Nerds! (1)

kbox (980541) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126359)

Trust nerds to take the fun out of beer and turn it in to something "interesting".

Oblig (0, Offtopic)

nascarguy27 (984493) | more than 6 years ago | (#20126819)

Can beer bubbles run Linux?
Can beer bubbles make Duke Nukem Forever?
How 'bout a Beowulf Cluster of beer bubbles?

Oh, sign me up! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20127231)

This is a research topic often studied in university. I knew engineering students who often studied beer bubbles. One in particular studied beer bubbles prior to doing fluid dynamics assignments and exercises. In preparation for the final exam, he included the same ritual (examination of beer bubbles). He got 89% on his final exam (and passed the course with a similar grade: A- (cum laude). He mentioned something or other about having a nip before the exam helped him to relax (but you have to believe me when I tell you that I had no idea what he meant by that!

They're obviously just trolling for an IgNoble... (1)

markana (152984) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127277)

Although the award in 2002 to Arnd Leike for his Beer Froth research might disqualify them...

René Thoms: catastrophe theory (2, Informative)

infernet (1138833) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127471)

This research does not seem to be fair enough. These findings were already theorized by the French mathematician René Thom; he developed the catastrophe theory between 1968 and 1972. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ren%C3%A9_thom [wikipedia.org] He published his work "Structural Stability and Morphogenesis" (1972), where he states the catastrophe theory may explain natural phenomena such as the beer bubbles, the tree barks, vulcanic activity, earthquakes, sea waves, and even a stock market catastrophes... It's a shame this PDF doesn't even mention such fundamental theories. You may find more about this theory in: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catastrophe_theory [wikipedia.org]

Re:René Thoms: catastrophe theory (1)

Max Littlemore (1001285) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127687)

This research does not seem to be fair enough. These findings were already theorized by the French mathematician René Thom; he developed the catastrophe theory between 1968 and 1972.

That's right, he developed a theory. It wasn't until the early 1990s when I was playing in a band and I left a beer on my bass rig for one really short song that anyone proved the actual catastrophe.

Completely flat.

Re:René Thoms: catastrophe theory (1)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128903)

Was it warm? Chances are, the drummer stole your beer and peed in the glass. They do that, drummers. Probably because they're jealous of musicians.

I logged into /. for the first time in a year ... (1)

MikeSty (890569) | more than 6 years ago | (#20127525)

... so I could post how much this made me think of Young Einstein. I also knew this is the only place in the world where other people actually know about such an awesome movie. I feel at home :)

Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music
Any old time you choose it
It's got a back beat you can't lose it,
Any old time you use it
Gotta be rock roll music
If you wanna dance with me
If you wanna dance with me

Makes you wonder (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20127561)

Since when does North America have anything to do with beer?

No Beer! A nice cup of Tea on a Thursday Morning? (1)

Whiteox (919863) | more than 6 years ago | (#20128115)

Does my memory serve me correct? Wasn't the physics of a nice cup of tea discussed a few years ago? Brownian motion and all that!
I think it came with fairy cake too.....

You Serious? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#20128133)

Yahoo :)
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