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Bulletproof Tool For Golden Age Browsing?

kdawson posted about 7 years ago | from the just-the-web-ma'am dept.

The Internet 366

An anonymous reader writes "I work in a retirement/assisted living home. Many of the residents had never used the Internet but really find it fascinating once they are given a little training. However, I've stopped introducing it to them because of the drain it puts on me. There are a million and one things that a computer novice can screw up, and I don't have time to solve all of them. These folks don't need any sophistication. and they need only the most basic options. Adjustable text size would be nice, but otherwise — no email, no word processing or editing, no printing — just Internet browsing. This may not seem like a big market, but it's getting bigger every day! Is there an absolutely fool-proof device that can provide this without requiring virus scanners and constant attention?"

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Turn Off Javascript (4, Informative)

eldavojohn (898314) | about 7 years ago | (#20459559)

Before I dive in, I have to say that I don't think you adequately explained the requirements here. In one part you seem concerned about configuration, in another you seem concerned about security & finally it seems to come down to being too sophisticated for the user.

I'm not sure which one you value the most. But, assuming we need all three, I would suggest something like the OLPC as an everything. Yes, it's geared for children but I guess you're kind of dealing with ... well, in some cases degenerated minds. I don't say that to be mean but ironically my four year old cousin and my 80 year old grandfather have some of the same needs when it comes to high tech gadgets.

One step up from that would be to use a premade Live CD of Ubuntu or Dragonfly or some other easy live Linux OS. You show them how to reboot with it and then they can surf like that. The downside is they can't save anything to disk but the upside is they can't save anything to disk :). Granted, this may violate your sophistication requirement (and destroy caching), it has the huge benefit of going "Oooops, time to simply reboot."

You know, the last college I attended had labs where you had administrative privileges but they reverted to a system restore point nightly. As a result, there would be screwed up machines but only for a day or week at most.

But, if we assume you don't want to reboot with a live CD of the OLPC or Ubuntu, you could instead simply turn off cookies & turn off javascript. Why? Because javascript is the devil. I think it has some of the most flawed type casting (if I can call it that) out there today. It's not a "type safe" language. And the proliferation of JSON objects in Javascript is frightening. But once you eliminate cookies & javascript, you also eliminate a lot of functionality.

I would suggest giving them the flash plugin (pending system requirements) as it's not so bad anymore. That and they'll probably want to watch YouTube videos of their offspring. I think that is a fair trade being as the latest Flash plugin is fairly secure.

So, I would finally recommend you give them plain jane mozilla firefox with no javascript or cookies & the flash plugin. It probably wouldn't hurt to jack the security meter up to the top and just tell them that sites they can't access are bad sites anyways.

Once again, I could use more requirements before giving you a final assessment but the above two options sound like they would come pretty close to satisfying your (and their) needs. These were made under the assumptions that these people suffer from learning disabilities in their old age and, as a result, you cannot host training sessions whereby you show them safe & secure internet usage.

In the end, I predict that some of the users are going to find a way to make it hard for you and them. I suggest starting with the lightest steps and only progressing forward as necessary.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (3, Informative)

Verte (1053342) | about 7 years ago | (#20459647)

they'll probably want to watch YouTube videos of their offspring.
YouTube uses Javascript to load the flash plugin. Silly, no? Unfortunately, we're stuck with Javascript for some time now. But, I like the other idea, not having write access to the media from which you boot off.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (5, Informative)

Shados (741919) | about 7 years ago | (#20459709)

It uses javascript to load Flash because of that issue with IE and plugins because of patents problems. Its the workaround to go around the workaround (wow...) that allows external code to load a plugin without user interaction so you don't have the "Click here to enable this plugin" thingy popping up.

Wow, thats the most runabout post I ever wrote. Going to bed.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1)

Verte (1053342) | about 7 years ago | (#20460101)

It sure is a hack. YouTube were an example pulled from the post, I didn't really want to point the finger at them specifically. And, I guess it is clichéd to complain about web developers not designing websites to work in environments where scripting is disabled, but that's really what it comes down to: there is no getting around this in the foreseeable future, so you can't just turn it off.

Goodnight!

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1)

Enderandrew (866215) | about 7 years ago | (#20459963)

HTML 5 includes a basic video tag, where you simply tag a video file, and let the browser then handle the rest, such as figuring out the codec and player. No JS, Flash or clunky embedding code needed.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1)

Verte (1053342) | about 7 years ago | (#20460133)

Plenty of mechanisms exist today that don't require Javascript. However, it's the content provider that ultimately decides what methods get used. I don't see many providers jumping on the no-Javascript bandwagon any time soon. What it comes down to is, for the foreseeable future, you're probably going to need Javascript in these facilities.

FUD!!! (1)

rebullandvodka (569646) | about 7 years ago | (#20459823)

No cookies and no javascript make homer something something...

They are a fact of like in web 2.0. Shutting them off is a non-option.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1)

the honger (992005) | about 7 years ago | (#20460083)

ok eldavojohn, let's start... do you know what an "old person" is? Ok that's good, that's good... no, really it is...

sortware or harware (1)

nikanth (1066242) | about 7 years ago | (#20460105)

if you are looking for a software, use suse linux and apparmor to run firefox in a sandbox! if you are looking for a hardware, just use a pc for browsing alone and do not use it for anything else! Use linux and create a user for browsing alone and when done you can delete the user's dir as well :-)

Re:sortware or harware (1)

rtb61 (674572) | about 7 years ago | (#20460275)

For greater security, you can boot only from cd and just use the hdisk data storage or even usb key for take away data storage, that way you get a clean reboot on every startup. Currently Ubuntu seems to provide the best boot from cdrom version.

There is also this device http://www.linutop.com/ [linutop.com] never used it or heard much about it but it certainly seems interesting.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (3, Insightful)

Stormie (708) | about 7 years ago | (#20460147)

you could instead simply turn off cookies & turn off javascript. Why? Because javascript is the devil. I think it has some of the most flawed type casting (if I can call it that) out there today. It's not a "type safe" language.

So, basically, your advice is that he provides them with a pretty much completely non-functional system, that will fail with most websites they might visit, purely to satisfy your religious zealoutry re typesafe languages? Good advice.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460193)

So, basically, your advice is that he provides them with a pretty much completely non-functional system, that will fail with most websites they might visit, purely to satisfy your religious zealoutry re typesafe languages? Good advice.
That's right. He's a zealot and his commentary on how unsafe Javascript is has nothing to do with backing up his point about turning Javascript off. In fact, his whole post is him just babbling incoherently with no related points whatsoever.

Your post, however, now that's right on the fucking money. He kind of did mention it would severely reduce functionality though. But I like yours better still. A sentence, a sentence fragment and not a singly fucking reinforcing point. Well argued, sir!

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1)

b4upoo (166390) | about 7 years ago | (#20460159)

Puppy Linux with StumbleUpon added to Firefox would fit the bill nicely. Also one can save files using Puppy without altering the boot CD. As a bonus Puppy boots rather quickly and can even be run from a USB stick on most PCs.

Re:Turn Off Javascript (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460257)

Now you listen up sonny, when I want to get on them thar intertubewebs on this computing contraption, you darn tootin better give me a web looker-loo-browsing app thingamajig with static typing in its scripting! None of this manifest type stuff, and I'll break out my horsewhip if there's any of them implicit casts in there! Now higher order types with functional dependencies would really crank my buggy up, but I'll take anything with hindley-milner inference.

Now where's my dentures, boy?

(BTW, that was a not half bad troll you did. typing systems, that's a good one.)

Obvious (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459561)

Man, you should know better than to ask a question like that on Slashdot. The Mac guys will say to use a Mac, and the Linux guys will say to use Linux. And then the Windows guys will complain about bias. Just watch =)

Re:Obvious (5, Funny)

DeadChobi (740395) | about 7 years ago | (#20459865)

What is it about all the "use Linux" posts on slashdot? Jeez, this is one of the most biased communities on the internet when it comes to operating systems. Everyone knows that Windows provides the most user-friendly browsing experience on the face of the planet.

Re:Obvious (2, Insightful)

Enderandrew (866215) | about 7 years ago | (#20460007)

Without an emoticon I can't tell if you're being tongue-in-cheek or trolling.

I'm going to assume you're kidding.

Re:Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459979)

With the new built-in child controls in Vista, it is the perfect solution for this problem.

Calls for other OSes are clearly biased.

Though, really, this may be a good option if you don't want a lot of management overhead and the ability to save at all.

If you're skilled and willing, a fully-custom live-CD of Linux would probably be better, but it's just a matter of how much time you're willing to sink in to get it working just right.

Also worth noting is that if something goes wrong in Linux (or possibly on mac?) you'll be the only goto guy for it. If it goes wrong in Windows, other co-workers might be able to walk people through more readily.

something you may like: (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459567)

When I think of dirty old men, I think of Ike Thomas and when I think about Ike I get a hard-on that won't quit.

Sixty years ago, I worked in what was once my grandfather's greenhouses. Gramps had died a year earlier and Grandma, now in her seventies had been forced to sell to the competition. I got a job with the new owners and mostly worked the range by myself. That summer, they hired a man to help me get the benches ready for the fall planting.

Ike always looked like he was three days from a shave and his whiskers were dirty white, shaded by the brim of his battered felt fedora.

He did not chew tobacco but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that, at any moment, I expected a trickle of thin, brown juice to creep down his chin. His bushy, brown eyebrows shaded pale, gray eyes.

The old-timer extended his hand, lifted his leg like a dog about to mark a bush and let go the loudest fart I ever heard. The old fellow then winked at me, "Ike Thomas is the name and playing pecker's my game."

I thought he said, "Checkers." I was nineteen, green as grass. I said, "I was never much good at that game."

"Now me," said Ike, "I just love jumping men ..."

"I'll bet you do."

"... and grabbing on to their peckers," said Ike.

"I thought we were talking about ..."

"You like jumping old men's peckers?"

I shook my head.

"I reckon we'll have to remedy that." Ike lifted his right leg and let go another tremendous fart. "He said, "We best be getting to work."

That summer of 1941 was a more innocent time. I learned most of the sex I knew from those little eight pager cartoon booklets of comic-page characters going at it. Young men read them in the privacy of an outside john, played with themselves, by themselves and didn't brag about it. Sometimes, we got off with a trusted friend and helped each other out.

Under the greenhouse glass, the temperature some times climbed over the hundred degree mark. I had worked stripped to the waist since April and was as brown as a berry. On only his second day on the job and in the middle of August, Ike wore old fashioned overalls. Those and socks in his high-top work shoes was every stitch he wore. When he bent forward, the bib front billowed out and I could see the white curly hairs on his chest and belly.

"Me? I just love to eat pussy!" Ike licked his lips from corner to corner then sticking his tongue out far enough that the tip could touch the end of his nose. He said, A man's not a man till he knows first hand, the flavor of a lady's pussy."

"People do that?"

He winked. "Of course the taste of a hard cock ain't to be sneezed at neither. Now you answer me, yes or no. Does a man's cock taste salty or not?"

"I never ..."

"Well, old Ike's willing to let you find out."

"No way."

"Just teasing," said Ike. "But don't give me no sass or I'll show you my ass." He winked. "Might show it to you anyway, if you was to ask."

"Why would I do that?"

"Curiosity, maybe. I'm guessing you never had a good piece of man ass."

"I'm no queer."

"Now don't be getting judgmental. Enjoying what's at hand ain't being queer. It's taking pleasure where you find it with anybody willing." Ike slipped a hand into the side slit of his overalls and I could tell he was fondling and straightening out his cock. "Now I admit I got me a hole that satisfied a few guys."

I swallowed, hard.

Ike winked. "Care to be asshole buddies?"

We worked steadily until noon. Ike drew a worn pocket watch from the bib pocket of his loose overalls and croaked, "Bean time. But first its time to reel out our limber hoses and make with the golden arches before lunch."

I followed Ike to the end of the greenhouse where he stopped at the outside wall of the potting shed. He opened his fly, fished inside, and finger-hooked a soft white penis with a pouting foreskin puckered half an inch past the hidden head.

"Yes sir," breathed Ike, "this old peter needs some draining." He exhaled a sigh as a strong, yellow stream splattered against the boards and ran down to soak into the earthen floor.

He caught me looking down at him. He winked. "Like what you're viewing, Boy?"

I looked away.

"You taking a serious interest in old Ike's pecker?"

I shook my head.

"Well you just haul out yourn and let old Ike return the compliment."

Feeling trapped and really having to go, I fumbled at my fly, turned away slightly, withdrew my penis and strained to start.

"Take your time boy. Let it all hang out. Old Ike's the first to admit that he likes looking at another man's pecker." He flicked away the last drop of urine and shook his limp penis vigorously.

I tried not to look interested.

"Yes sir, this old peepee feels so good out, I just might leave it out." He turned to give me a better view.

"What if somebody walks in?"

Ike shrugged. He looked at my strong yellow stream beating against the boards and moved a step closer. "You got a nice one,boy."

I glanced over at him. His cock was definitely larger and beginning to stick straight out. I nodded toward his crotch. "Don't you think you should put that away?"

"I got me strictly a parlor prick," said Ike. "Barely measures six inches." He grinned. "Of course it's big enough around to make a mouthful." He ran a thumb and forefinger along its length and drawing his foreskin back enough to expose the tip of the pink head. "Yersiree." He grinned, revealing nicotine stained teeth. "It sure feels good, letting the old boy breathe."

I knew I should button up and move away. I watched his fingers moving up and down the thickening column.

"You like checking out this old man's cock?"

I nodded. In spite of myself, my cock began to swell.

"Maybe we should have ourselves a little pecker pulling party." Ike slid his fingers back and forth on his expanding shaft and winked. "I may be old but I'm not against doing some little pud pulling with a friend."

I shook my head.

"Maybe I'll give my balls some air. Would you like a viewing of old Ike's hairy balls?"

I swallowed hard and moistened my dry lips.

He opened another button on his fly and pulled out his scrotum. "Good God, It feels good to set 'em free. Now let's see yours."

"Why?"

"Just to show you're neighborly," said Ike.

"I don't think so." I buttoned up and moved into the potting shed.

Ike followed, his cock and balls protruding from the front of his overalls. "Overlook my informality." Ike grinned. "As you can see I ain't bashful."

I nodded and took my sandwich from the brown paper bag.

"Yessir," said Ike. "I just might have to have myself an old fashioned peter pulling all by my lonesome. He unhooked a shoulder strap and let his overalls drop around his ankles.

I took a bite of my sandwich but my eyes remained on Ike.

"Yessiree," said Ike, "I got a good one if I do say so myself. Gets nearly as hard as when I was eighteen. You know why?"

I shook my head.

"Cause I keep exercising him. When I was younger I was pulling on it three time a day. Still like to do him every day I can."

"Some say you'll go blind if you do that too much."

"Bull-loney!" Don't you believe that shit. I been pulling my pud for close to fifty years and I didn't start till I was fifteen."

I laughed.

"You laughing at my little peter, boy?"

"Your hat." I pointed to the soiled, brown fedora cocked on his head. That and his overalls draped about his ankles were his only items of apparel. In between was a chest full of gray curly hair, two hairy legs. Smack between them stood an erect, pale white cock with a tip of foreskin still hiding the head.

"I am one hairy S.O.B.," said Ike.

"I laughed at you wearing nothing but a hat."

"Covers up my bald spot," said Ike. "I got more hair on my ass than I got on my head. Want to see?"

"Your head?"

"No, Boy, my hairy ass and around my tight, brown asshole." He turned, reached back with both hands and parted his ass cheeks to reveal the small, puckered opening. "There it is, Boy, the entrance lots of good feelings. Tell me, Boy, how would you like to put it up old Ike's ass?"

"I don't think so."

"That'd be the best damned piece you ever got."

"We shouldn't be talking like this."

"C'mon now, confess, don't this make your cock perk up a little bit?"

"I reckon," I confessed.

"You ever seen an old man's hard cock before," asked Ike.

"My grandpa's when I was twelve or thirteen."

"How'd that come about?"

He was out in the barn and didn't know I was around. He dropped his pants. It was real big he did things to it. He saw me and he turned around real fast but I saw it."

"What did your grandpa do?"

"He said I shouldn't be watching him doing that. He said something like grandma wouldn't give him some,' that morning and that I should get out of there and leave a poor man in peace to do what he had to do."

"Did you want to join him."

"I might have if he'd asked. He didn't."

"I like showing off my cock," said Ike. "A hard-on is something I always been proud of. A hard-on proves a man's a man. Makes me feel like a man that can do things." He looked up at me and winked. "You getting a hard-on from all this talk, son?"

I nodded and looked away.

"Then maybe you should pull it out and show old Ike what you got."

"We shouldn't."

"Hey. A man's not a man till he jacked off with a buddy."

I wanted to but I was as nervous as hell.

Ike grinned and fingered his pecker. "C'mon, Boy, between friends, a little cock showing is perfectly fine. Lets see what you got in the cock and balls department."

In spite of my reluctance, I felt the stirring in my crotch. I had curiosity that needed satisfying. It had been a long, long time since I had walked in on my grandfather.

"C'mon let's see it all."

I shook my head.

"You can join the party anytime, said Ike. "Just drop your pants and pump away."

I had the urge. There was a tingling in my crotch. My cock was definitely willing and I had a terrible need to adjust myself down there. But my timidity and the strangeness of it all held me back.

Hope you don't mind if I play out this hand." Ike grinned. "It feels like I got a winner."

I stared at his gnarled hand sliding up and down that pale, white column and I could not look away. I wet my lips and shook my head.

Old Ike's about to spout a geyser." Ike breathed harder as he winked. "Now if I just had a long finger up my ass. You interested, boy?"

I shook my head.

The first, translucent, white glob crested the top of his cock and and arced to the dirt floor. Ike held his cock at the base with thumb and forefinger and tightened noticeably with each throb of ejaculation until he was finished.

I could not believe any man could do what he had done in front of another human being.

Ike sighed with pleasure and licked his fingers. "A man ain't a man till he's tasted his own juices."

He squatted, turned on the faucet and picked up the connected hose. He directed the water between his legs and on to his still dripping prick and milked the few remaining drops of white, sticky stuff into the puddle forming at his feet. "Cool water sure feels good on a cock that just shot its wad," said Ike.

"Cock-tale telling time," said Old Ike. It was the next day and he rubbed the front of his dirty,worn overalls where his bulge made the fly expand as his fingers smoothed the denim around the outline of his expanding cock.

I wasn't sure what he had in mind but I knew it wasn't something my straight-laced Grandma would approve of.

"Don't you like taking your cock out and jacking it?" Ike licked his lips.

I shook my head in denial.

"Sure you do. A young man in his prime has got to be pulling his pud."

I stared at his calloused hand moving over the growing bulge at his crotch.

"Like I said," continued Ike, "I got me barely six inches when he's standing up." He winked at me. "How much you got, son?"

"Almost seven inches ..." I stuttered. "Last time I measured."

"And I'm betting it feels real good with your fist wrapped around it."

"I don't do ..."

"Everybody does it." He scratched his balls and said, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Then, looking me in the eye, he lifted his leg like a dog at a tree and let out a long, noisy fart.

Denying that I jacked off, I said, "I saw yours yesterday."

"A man has got to take out his pecker every once in a while." He winked and his fingers played with a button on his fly. Care to join me today?"

"I don't think so."

"What's the matter, boy? You ashamed of what's hanging 'tween your skinny legs?"

"It's not for showing off."

"That would be so with a crowd of strangers but with a friend, in a friendly showdown, where's the harm?"

"It shouldn't be shown to other people. My Grandma said that a long time ago when I went to the bathroom against a tree when I was seven."

"There's nothing like a joint pulling among friends to seal a friendship," said Ike.

I don't think so." I felt very much, ill at ease.

"Then what the fuck is it for," demanded the old man. "A good man shares his cock with his friends. How old are you boy?"

"Fifteen almost sixteen."

You ever fucked a woman?"

"No."

"Ever fucked a man?"

"Of course not."

"Son, you ain't never lived till you've fired your load up a man's tight ass."

"I didn't know men did that to each other."

"Men shove it up men's asses men all the time. They just don't talk about it like they do pussy."

"You've done that?"

"I admit this old pecker's been up a few manholes. More than a few hard cocks have shagged this old ass over the years." He shook his head, wistfully, "I still have a hankering for a hard one up the old dirt chute."

"I think that would hurt."

"First time, it usually does," agreed Ike. He took a bite from his sandwich.

I looked at my watch. Ten minutes of our lunch hour had already passed.

"We got time for a quickie," said Ike. "There's no one around to say, stop, if were enjoying ourselves."

He unhooked the slide off the button of one shoulder-strap, pushed the bib of his overalls down to let them fall to his feet.

"Showtime," said Ike. Between his legs, white and hairy, his semi-hard cock emerged from a tangled mass of brown and gray pubic hair. The foreskin, still puckered beyond the head of the cock, extended downward forty-five degrees from the horizontal but was definitely on the rise.

I could only stare at the man. Until the day before, I had never seen an older man with an erection besides my grandpa.

Ike moved his fingers along the stalk of his manhood until the head partially emerged, purplish and broad. He removed his hand for a moment and it bobbled obscenely in the subdued light of the potting shed. Ike leaned back against a bin of clay pots like a model on display. "Like I said, boy, it gets the job done."

I found it difficult not to watch. "You shouldn't ..."

"C'mon, boy. Show Ike your pecker. I'm betting it's nice and hard."

I grasped my belt and tugged on the open end. I slipped the waistband button and two more before pushing down my blue jeans and shorts down in one move. My cock bounced and slapped my belly as I straightened."

"That's a beaut." Ike stroked his pale, white cock with the purplish-pink head shining. "I'm betting it'll grow some more if you stroke it."

"We really shouldn't ..."

"Now don't tell me you never stroked your hard peter with a buddy."

"I've done that," I finally admitted,. "But he was the same age as me and it was a long time ago." I though back to the last time Chuck and me jerked each other off in the loft of our old barn. Chuck wanted more as a going away present and we had sucked each other's dicks a little bit.

"Jackin's always better when you do it with somebody," said Ike. "Then you can lend each other a helping hand."

"I don't know about that," I said.

Ike's hand continued moving on his old cock as he leaned over to inspect mine. "God Damn! Boy. That cock looks good enough to eat." Ike licked his lips. "You ever had that baby sucked?"

I shook my head as I watched the old man stroke his hard, pale cock.

"Well boy, I'd say you're packing a real mouthful for some lucky gal or guy." He grinned. "Well c'mon. Let's see you get down to some serious jacking. Old Ike's way ahead of you."

I wrapped my fist around my stiff cock and moved the foreskin up and over the head on the up stroke. On the down stroke the expanded corona of the angry, purple head stared obscenely at the naked old man.

Ike toyed with his modest six inches. "What do you think of this old man's cock?" His fist rode down to his balls and a cockhead smaller than the barrel stared back at mine.

"I guess I'm thinking this is like doing it with my grandpa."

"You ever wish you could a done this with your grandpa?"

"I thought about it a lot."

"Ever see him with a hard-on."

"I told you about that!"

"Ever think about him doing your grandma?"

"I can't imagine her ever doing anything with a man."

"Take my word for it, sonny, we know she did it or you wouldn't be here." Begrudgingly I nodded in agreement.

"Everybody fucks," said old Ike. "They fuck or they jack off."

"If you say so."

"Say sonny, your cocks getting real juicy with slickum. Want old Ike tolick some of it away?"

"You wouldn't."

Ike licked his lips as he kept his hand pistoning up and down his hard cock. "You might be surprised what old Ike might do if he was in the mood for a taste of what comes out of a hard cock."

And that is what he proceeded to do. He sucked me dry.

Then he erupted in half-a-dozen spurts shooting out and onto the dirt floor of the potting shed. He gave his cock a flip and shucked t back into his overalls. He unwrapped a sandwich from its wax paper and proceed to eat without washing his hands. He took a bite and chewed. "Nothing like it boy, a good jacking clears the cobwebs from your crotch and gives a man an appetite."

The following day, We skipped the preliminaries. We dropped our pants. Ike got down on his knees and sucked me until I was hard and good and wet before he stood and turned.

"C'mon boy, Shove that pretty cock up old Ike's tight, brown hole and massage old Ike's prostate.

Ike bent forward and gripped the edge of the potting bench. The lean, white cheeked buttocks parted slightly and exposed the dark brown, crinkly, puckered star of his asshole. "Now you go slow and ease it along until you've got it all the way in," he cautioned. "This old ass craves your young cock but it don't want too much too soon. You've got to let this old hole stretch to accommodate you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Easy boy, easy," he cautioned. "You feel a lot bigger than you look. Put a little more spit in your cock."

"It's awfully tight. I don't know if it's going to go or not."

"It'll go," said Ike. "There's been bigger boys than you up the old shit chute."

I slipped in the the last few inches.. "It's all in."

"I can tell," said Ike. "Your cock hairs are tickling my ass."

"Are you ready," I asked.

"How are you liking old Ike's hairy asshole so far?"

"It's real tight."

"Tighter than your fist?"

"Might be."

"Ready to throw a fuck into a man that reminds you of your grandpa."

"I reckon."

"I want you should do old Ike one more favor."

"What?"

While you're pumpin' my ass, would you reach around and play with my dick like you would your own? Would you do that for an old man?"

I reached around and took hold of his hard cock sticking out straight in front of him. I pilled the skin back and then pulled it up and over the expanded glans. I felt my own cock expand inside him as I manipulated his staff in my fingers. I imagined that my cock extended through him and I was playing with what came out the other side of him.

"C'mon, boy, ram that big cock up the old shitter and make me know it. God Damn! tickle that old prostate and make old Ike come!"

I came. And I came. Ike's tightened up on my cock and I throbbed Roman Candle bursts into that brown hole as I pressed into him. His hairy, scrawny ass flattened against my crotch and we were joined as tightly as two humans can be.

"A man's not a man till he's come in another man." said old Ike. "You made it, boy. But still, a man's not a man till he's had a hard cock poked up his ass at least once."

Every time I think of that scene, I get another hard-on. Then I remember the next day when old Ike returned the favor.

I never have managed to come that hard again. If only Ike were here.

Wii (5, Interesting)

Techno-Hat (841694) | about 7 years ago | (#20459577)

It's called a Nintendo Wii. Turn it on, browse awhile, zoom in, zoom out and turn it off.

Re:Wii (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459665)

Yes, Wii is the answer. It's a great basic web browser, powered by Opera, and won't break with use. Oh, it also plays games.

Re:Wii (1)

Doppler00 (534739) | about 7 years ago | (#20459687)

I have to 2nd this suggestion. I've found that I've been browsing the internet more and more on my wii because I can just veg out on the couch and not have to type anything or sit in front of a computer screen. However, the Wii mote is kind of shaky, if they could improve the pointer behavior somewhat I think it would be more intuitive.

Re:Wii (1)

xubu_caapn (1086401) | about 7 years ago | (#20460111)

You probably have a larger TV. I just moved into my dorm and I had to bring the smaller TV, and the difference is night and day between this 15" and the 60-something-inch one at home!

Re:Wii (1)

Kris_J (10111) | about 7 years ago | (#20460305)

If your wiimote cursor is twitchy, try putting the little IR light bar thingy on the plastic stand that came with it.

Re:Wii (1)

G Fab (1142219) | about 7 years ago | (#20460151)

Resolution is difficult to read for (anyone) people who wear glasses.

The PS3's browser is (barely) ok on an HDTV, but obviously that's a stupid choice at 1200$ or so.

Why not an old laptop with a livecd? If they mess it up, they reset the computer.

Firefox in kiosk mode? (3, Insightful)

mccrew (62494) | about 7 years ago | (#20459587)

F11 in Firefox goes to full screen mode. Lots less to mess up.

Re:Firefox in kiosk mode? (5, Informative)

Simon80 (874052) | about 7 years ago | (#20459809)

Firefox in kiosk mode, configured as your X session (i.e. the app that is executed by X when it starts up), on an X server that is reloaded automatically, with all the VTs disabled, is apparently pretty bulletproof in practice.

Re:Firefox in kiosk mode? (1)

SCHecklerX (229973) | about 7 years ago | (#20459985)

I don't have mod points, so I'll just comment.

As another poster noted below, you don't even really need a WM. Just run firefox in your x session and nothing else. On exit, you could have a default profile copied over for the next person.

Re:Firefox in kiosk mode? (1, Informative)

WithLove (1150737) | about 7 years ago | (#20459871)

If you hide the Navigation Toolbar (right click anywhere on toolbar, uncheck Navigation Toolbar) the only interface outside of the web page itself is the tab toolbar. Nothing to mess up there (:

Live CD (3, Informative)

zogger (617870) | about 7 years ago | (#20459591)

Just use machines with a decent amount of RAM,like a full gig, an optical drive, and one of the mini linux distros like damn small. No hard drive needed. About as simple to do as anything and un-hosable.

KDE Kiosk mode (1)

mchallis (462385) | about 7 years ago | (#20459595)

Most systems and designs really suck for seniors. Small fonts, confusing UI and way too many options. I am thinking of experimenting with KDE stripped down and in Kiosk mode.
MC

VMWare to the rescue! (5, Informative)

aweraw (557447) | about 7 years ago | (#20459597)

Check out the VMWare browser applicance... basically a disposable OS with browser in a vmware image. If it gets broken, just create another copy - no need to worry about the base system getting hammered with crap.

VMWare Player is free - have at it!

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (1)

jamesh (87723) | about 7 years ago | (#20459663)

I second that. Or xen.

Even go a step further and create a new copy of the 'virgin' setup every time you reboot. If anything goes wrong just reboot.

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (1, Interesting)

SeanTobin (138474) | about 7 years ago | (#20459719)

Sorry for being blatantly off-topic, but just wanted to let you know...

Yes, someone did just put your sig through 5 rounds of base 64 decoding...

LAME!

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (3, Interesting)

CAR912 (788234) | about 7 years ago | (#20459923)

Thank heavens for Leet Key [mozdev.org] , just select, right-click, and select leetkey->text transformers->base64 decode... several times.

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (1)

Rorzabal (1138403) | about 7 years ago | (#20459841)

VMWare is exactly suited to this application. Run the browser, and any other applications virtualized. Save a base install of the O/S immediately after completing the installation/patching, and after installing the applications that need to be used. That way when something goes wrong (and it will...), just copy over the clean virtual disk image.

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (3, Informative)

MikeFM (12491) | about 7 years ago | (#20459879)

It's not hard to set the virtual machine so that it doesn't commit changes. That's probably the easiest thing to do. No need to create a new copy.

Re:VMWare to the rescue! (1)

rm999 (775449) | about 7 years ago | (#20460173)

That doesn't necessarily create a user friendly environment. Is there some sort of firefox skin/mode that has almost no options, big text/graphics, and is intuitive to use for old people that you can install in the virtual machine?

Firefox (0)

UbuntuDupe (970646) | about 7 years ago | (#20459605)

Come on, there has to be some LiarSux plugin that Spartan-izes the web browsing experience. Or, could you use a really old browser that can't even handle a bunch of the newer stuff?

Linux with Firefox and no window manager (3, Informative)

808140 (808140) | about 7 years ago | (#20459607)

This seems like a no-brainer to me. You don't even need a window manager, although there are some minimalist ones that will do the trick for things like the preferences window, etc. Firefox has font-size adjustment, so that's not a problem, and you can theme gtk to be high contrast with large font sizes in the menu, etc.

Why make life difficult on yourself?

Re:Linux with Firefox and no window manager (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460055)

Linux with Firefox and no window manager ... Why make life difficult on yourself?

I sure hope you're being sarcastic. You forgot to throw in Gentoo.

suggestion: (4, Funny)

larry bagina (561269) | about 7 years ago | (#20459609)

show them lemonparty. They won't be interested any more. (then again, maybe they will).

any Livecd would do (1)

jayp00001 (267507) | about 7 years ago | (#20459613)

download a Livecd and boot off that. I know Ubuntu is available. If you want Solaris you can take a look at Belenix.

Re:any Livecd would do (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459931)

This is a great idea! If something gets buggered, a reboot fixes it. Turns just about any computer into a maintenance-free internet terminal with almost no effort.

DSL (3, Funny)

Tsiangkun (746511) | about 7 years ago | (#20459619)

Get a Damn Small Linux CD.

Boot off CD, to RAM if possible, and enjoy the internet.

100% worry free computer usage.

If they want the computer to do more than just the internet, tell
them the instructions are available, on the internet. Have fun.

Re:DSL (1)

Mal-2 (675116) | about 7 years ago | (#20459935)

Booting Linux from a live CD is a perfectly valid idea, but it is not absolutely necessary to lock the machine down to pure web browsing. Leave OpenOffice available, and if anyone wants to keep their own data files, they can buy a flash drive -- a "one size fits all" approach is fine: if you can get 1 GB sticks in bulk for $15, that's probably a pretty good balance. Same with pictures they may want to download. If they don't want to bother, and most probably won't, that's fine. Those who want to do more are probably the "power users" you want helping you out anyhow.

That would be my second suggestion -- find out which users "get it", and ask them to assist you. Even late-blooming geeks can use a little extra popularity. :) If they can field even half the questions, everyone benefits. The users get answers faster, the power users get to be heroes, and you can get on with the actual difficult jobs. Remind them that due to the live CD nature of the stations, they can't permanently break anything -- so feel free to try to figure things out. If you muck it up too bad, restart it. The worst they can do is muck up is the USB key that's connected at the time.

You want appliances. Make them do what 90% of the people do without breaking, then extend to embrace the other 10%, maybe by letting them figure out what they need to do but can't.

Mal-2

Re:DSL (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460183)

Get a Damn Small Linux CD.

Just be careful. Some of those grandmother types will wash your mouth out with soap for saying the word "damn."

re:bulletproof (1)

Enlil (1062246) | about 7 years ago | (#20459627)

A well-prepared linux installation is fairly unassailable and maintenance-free. Google 'lock down linux', do a bit of reading. Once you get a feel for the security measures that should be enacted, any distro with gnome or kde should work nicely for you.

Ubuntu? (1)

Xenographic (557057) | about 7 years ago | (#20459635)

What's wrong with customizing an Ubuntu install, removing easy access to all the stuff they don't need?
Pretty hard to install spyware when it's not compatible with the system.

Hell, you can run it from a live CD if you want, then they'd have a really hard time screwing it up.

Opera on Linux (3, Interesting)

Dlugar (124619) | about 7 years ago | (#20459655)

Try Opera on Linux. You get full resizing (of both text and images) with single buttons (plus and minus, no modifiers needed). With Linux you can put work into locking down everything else, so e.g. you can only have a single, full-screen version of Opera running.

Dlugar

Re:Opera on Linux (1)

alfredo (18243) | about 7 years ago | (#20460279)

Opera on any platform will do the trick with kiosk mode.

Look at the OLPC project (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459661)

I believe this is one feature of the One Laptop Per Child [laptop.org] project. (See also Wikipedia article [wikipedia.org] .)

--
Metagovernment [metagovernment.org] - Government by ALL of the people.

Re:Look at the OLPC project (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459729)

Children. Elders. I guess the same principles apply, huh?

Opera Kiosk Mode (5, Informative)

Pap22 (1054324) | about 7 years ago | (#20459677)

http://www.opera.com/support/mastering/kiosk/ [opera.com]

Designed to be used at public terminals. Bonus points for installing it on Linux.

MOD PARENT UP (1)

Gertlex (722812) | about 7 years ago | (#20459781)

Link's details look very good to me. *shrug*

Damnit though, I'm a Firefox person.

Re:Opera Kiosk Mode (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459813)

1. people can still dl stuff.
2. browse buttons for uploading stuff can be used to navigate the whole directory structure.
of course both can be overcome by setting appropriate permissions.

Virtual Machine (1)

DaHat (247651) | about 7 years ago | (#20459691)

Setup a virtual machine using whatever VM software you prefer, and then setup a script or other mechanism to whip out the existing VM and reload it from a hidden copy every interval so that if someone does screw something up... you just reload and boom, they are back.

Just make sure that your VM supports being run in full screen mode.

Use Kiosk Software (3, Informative)

mombodog (920359) | about 7 years ago | (#20459723)

Software is the answer. http://pcwin.com/popular/Lock_xp_kiosk-1.htm [pcwin.com] Or the Microsoft way http://support.microsoft.com/kb/555463/en-us [microsoft.com]

Re:Use Kiosk Software (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460033)

Or a non-Microsoft solution:

http://userful.com/products/discoverstation [userful.com]

It seems geared toward preventing malicious public users from breaking things, so defending against non-computer-using seniors should not be a challenge.

Re:Use Kiosk Software (1)

skeeto (1138903) | about 7 years ago | (#20460201)

Or the Microsoft way [...]

Look, these people are too old to be bending over and taking it from behind.

larger text and images (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459741)

Just reduce the resoultion to 800x600 or 1024x768. That is hands down the simplest, easiest way to make images and text larger on screen.

Re:larger text and images (1)

iamdrscience (541136) | about 7 years ago | (#20460169)

Unless you've got an LCD, in which case it looks fucked up if you run at anything other than native resolution (or equal divisions thereof). Now I know I still use a CRT and there are plenty of old CRTs floating around and a few people will always prefer them, but in general, most computers sold in the last couple years (i.e. most computers people are using) are going to have LCDs and as time goes on, CRTs are dying out faster and faster.

A live CD (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459749)

It sounds like they'd be happy with some web kiosk software. Get a live CD that's well designed and pretty, like Beatrix.

Its called "Macintosh" (-1, Troll)

Gothmolly (148874) | about 7 years ago | (#20459767)

Is there an absolutely fool-proof device that can provide this without requiring virus scanners and constant attention?"

Yes, get a Mac.

Re:Its called "Macintosh" (1)

charlesbakerharris (623282) | about 7 years ago | (#20459835)

Back in the cage, fanboi!

Re:Its called "Macintosh" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459881)

"Yes, get a Mac."

Having done desktop support for a 700+ macintosh business environment, I'd have to say this simply isn't true. You'd be amazed at the effort some users go to break them, but break them they still do.

Re:Its called "Macintosh" (1)

SmoothTom (455688) | about 7 years ago | (#20460069)

...and a Mac can give each user their own ID (if desired), and limit that ID to only certain limited applications and actions. This feature is built right into the OS and requires no extra futzing. :o)

Macs also tend to be pleasant, reliable machines, and out-of-the-box mych less prone to gremlins...

--
Tom

Re:Its called "Macintosh" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460135)

For a windows base, you can use an app called Deep Freeze - its by Faronics. Basically on every reboot it re-images the hard drive. nice and easy. You can setup a "thaw" partition for saving files and have it re-image the C: partition every reboot. I believe it comes with a remote admin tool as well.

Damn Small Linux or Slax (1)

Dr. Faustroll (745092) | about 7 years ago | (#20459769)

Either Damn Small Linux [damnsmalllinux.org] or Slax [slax.org] is what you want - easily customizable, easy to use, good browser experience, runs from either a CD or a USB Flash Drive, minimal machine requirements, can be loaded completely into memory for speed. And if somehow, somebody crashes it - just turn the machine off and on again and you're back in business...

Also, should you need bookmarks that can be easily added to, just use one of the online bookmark services - no need to worry about saving bookmarks on the local machine.

Gentoo Linux and Firefox Kiosk (2, Informative)

Jessta (666101) | about 7 years ago | (#20459799)

- Gentoo Linux(minimum system means less things can be broken and less security updates required)
- ssh (for remote administration)

- xorg
- Firefox( I think there is a kiosk mode addon, and you'll have to install security updates every couple of weeks)
- dwm (remove the status bar and add rules to tag all firefox window the same)
and run it all as a user with only read/write permission to firefox's cache.

You can't disable javascript because so many websites stupidly depend on it.
I've seen some sites that don't display anything if javascript is disabled.

- Jesse McNelis

Write a program tthat browses (4, Funny)

nate nice (672391) | about 7 years ago | (#20459801)

Write a simple program that calls off to their favorite sites and prints them out. Then give them paper version of what they like.

Then they can pass it around, etc. Sort of like bookmark sharing.

Add emails (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459805)

No help to your question, but see if you can add email to the repertoire. Browsing web may be fascinating, but nothing like being able to communicate with your kids, grand kids, relatives, and friends *UNOBTRUSIVELY* with emails. It's communication with people you give half a shit about, and it means much to them (and will be to you once you're at that age).

Re:Add emails (1)

tepples (727027) | about 7 years ago | (#20459833)

No help to your question, but see if you can add email to the repertoire.
Turn on JavaScript, and you can use Gmail. You don't even need a mobile phone anymore.

Re:Add emails (1)

Technician (215283) | about 7 years ago | (#20460309)

No help to your question, but see if you can add email to the repertoire. Browsing web may be fascinating, but nothing like being able to communicate with your kids, grand kids, relatives, and friends *UNOBTRUSIVELY* with emails.

A browser and Gmail or Yahoo will be fine. Administering a bunch of rotating clients e-mail accounts increases the complexity. This moves the admin job from you to an online provider as needed. This is most helpful if you are not doing individual user logins but just one always on internet kiosk.

MSNTV (1)

DTemp (1086779) | about 7 years ago | (#20459859)

MSNTV (formerly WebTV) is what my grandma uses. Hooks up to her TV set, uses dialup (I think the new versions allow you to plug in a cable modem or otherwise use ethernet). Simple, not much to screw up. I think there are some anti-phishing and anti-virus things done on the server end.

try thin clients or boot cd's (2, Informative)

b17bmbr (608864) | about 7 years ago | (#20459869)

I know, gonna get ripped, but what the hell...

set up a pretty decent single computer (running linux of course) and hook several terminals to it. have them either boot up like LTSP or do a small install and get X remotely. they could log in and you can set up what apps they have access to. if they aren'[t computer literate, they won't know firefox on linux from firefox on XP. and it's a bit safer, I'd wager.

or, remoce (or just unplug) the hard drives and give them boto cd's like ubuntu. or just leve the cd's in the drive. you can make a custom ubuntu cd which has only basic browsing, plus can already be set up for proxies, etc.

either way, it's gonna be hard to mess up the system. that's my $0.02. more work up front, far less down the road.

Re:try thin clients or boot cd's (1)

complete loony (663508) | about 7 years ago | (#20460047)

Bingo, boot from some kind of readonly media. That way the fix for anything short of a hardware fault is just a reboot. Anything happens that you don't understand, just press that small red button over there.

Kiosk w LTSP (1)

Craig Ringer (302899) | about 7 years ago | (#20459921)

Naturally you'll want to look at one of the many Internet Kiosk setups out there.

My personal preference would be to roll out a thin client setup using Linux thin clients w firefox in kiosk mode as a full-screen login session. No viruses, if it crashes you reset it, etc. Simple - if you know some Linux. K12LTSP is helpful for those not already familiar with DHCP, tftp, etc and who lack an existing server infrastructure. Even if you do have an existing solid network I'd strongly recommend the LTSP base as a starting point - it's a great, non-invasive way to get the "client" part of the thin clients ready to go.

Another option would be to just use a generic system image. There are quite a few kiosk Linux distros that might do.

Why all this prattle about Linux? Because it's ideal for the job - basic functionality required, but it has to be tough, cheap, and easy to roll out. You could probably do it with WinXP Basic & Sysprep, but it'd cost you a bunch and you'd probably land up reimaging the machines regularly.

s/basic/starter/g (1)

Craig Ringer (302899) | about 7 years ago | (#20459945)

Sorry, instead of "WinXP Basic" I meant "WinXP Starter Edition" - and it doesn't appear to be available in most countries anyway.

A Simple Solution (3, Informative)

Soloact (805735) | about 7 years ago | (#20459939)

I believe someone already has done something like this with Linux, called "Cl33n Linux" http://cl33n.com/index.html [cl33n.com] It allows browsing and only uses Web Applications and Web Mail if the user wants to do some other type of work. Although it doesn't include Flash, you might be able to include that in a variation. Then install it in kiosks. Hope this helps you in your search. The only other options would be Internet Appliances, such as Compaq's old IA or WebTV.

Come-on, never heard of a kiosk? (2, Insightful)

flyingfsck (986395) | about 7 years ago | (#20459957)

I find it hard to believe that this guy needs to ask the question and never heard of Kiosks or Live CDs.

Zonbu (1)

syphax (189065) | about 7 years ago | (#20459961)


Zonbu [zonbu.com]

Yes, there's a subscription fee, but if you compare it to the price of off-site storage (which it is, plus more), you'll see it's quite reasonable.

Re:Zonbu (1)

dws90 (1063948) | about 7 years ago | (#20460161)

It looks like there's also a kiosk mode feature, which seems perfect for this purpose.

Re:Zonbu (1)

MsGeek (162936) | about 7 years ago | (#20460277)

This would be swell for my computer-hating hubby. However, I'd just want to buy the little box outright and point the storage to a Samba server at home. Anyone know who's making that box?

Windows CE Thin Terminals (1)

tekrat (242117) | about 7 years ago | (#20459965)

Various companies make thin clients that run Windows CE as the OS. These thin terminals have a standard Windows interface, but without the bells and whistles.

Most of the modern ones have a basic version of IE built-in, and can be configured to boot up from their flash disk and just run as an Internet browser. All you need to provide is a DHCP server so they can obtain an IP address and they can immediately surf the web from any network.

I have one at home for friends to "check their email" when I don't want them browsing my personal PC for my pr0n.

The good news is that you can find these suckers pretty cheap on eBay and the like. Keyboards, Mice and screens can be had for little or no money if you know where to look. All they need is electricity and a network. And there's little for them to screw-up as it's all ROM-based. Any "crash" or problem is solved by a power cycle, and you're back where you started.

TTYL
Brian C.

AMD Personal Internet Communicator (1)

CAR912 (788234) | about 7 years ago | (#20459977)

I don't have firsthand experience, but the Personal Internet Communicator [amd.com] (or similar devices (e.g. webtv)) may be what you are looking for if you are starting from scratch and have a bit of a budget.

Automatic hard-drive reset on reboot (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20459989)

Cybercafes in China install a device-driver that prevents disk-writes actually writing to the disk.

So, when you reboot the computer, it's completely clean, just as before.

You can still install patches, upgrades etc, by entering a password to take it to a special maintenance mode.

Example of the effect of the special driver:
- you plug in a usb key, and can read your files
- you make changes to the files, save them, reopen them, it looks like you changed the files
- you take the usb out and plug it into another computer. Whoa, thats wierd, the files are just like they were before you changed them!

It's an awesome system. Chinese cybercafes are decently free of adware.

Re:Automatic hard-drive reset on reboot (1)

TheRealMindChild (743925) | about 7 years ago | (#20460197)

In windows (XP), this device driver, called FBWF (File Based Write Filter), is available with the Windows XP Embedded SP2 Feature Pack 2007. There is also a less popular alternative called EWF (Enhanced Write Filter), available in the same pack.

BartPE and Firefox Kiosk plugin (1)

BrookHarty (9119) | about 7 years ago | (#20460003)


I think I'd make a bootable bartpe cdrom, and put firefox on there using the kiosk plugin.
A few plugins, java, and a couple basic bookmarks, and your done.

Hardware wise, I'd have external volume, and a screen blanker.

Plus the bartpe reboots every 24 hours to make m$ happy.

This is why I like iMAC (1)

Televiper2000 (1145415) | about 7 years ago | (#20460013)

I remember reading about the iMAC and thinking about that it was such a wonderful and forward thinking idea. Make a cheap console system that's limited to the vast majority of web surfing, playing DVDs, and various video streams. Lock everything down so you get rid of the nasty soup of conflicting applications and make it much easier to refresh or fix. Every 3 of 4 years when you need to upgrade the new version of the console is available to you. It's exactly what my parents would need. (As long as it also allowed some form of video conferencing). It's also what they need in most schools and libraries. In fact, put the user on a USB key, and just shuffle their personal data, and login information on to it. Honestly, lets plug a keyboard and mouse into a cheap version of the X-Box 360 and be done with it.

Perfect solution (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460031)

Ok, we're going back to the ThinkNIC days here, but a CD based image that boots up, gives you firefox and only firefox, and in the background crond is running, rebooting at 3am every day. Set rc.local to update the time upon boot to a good time server. You could also get into LTSP and one time use user accounts (wiped after logout, recreated instantly, etc) but may be overkill for a nursing home / retirement community.

firefox+wine (1)

wizardforce (1005805) | about 7 years ago | (#20460045)

the solution to this little problem could very well be firefox+wine on a usb stick. it runs on Mac, Windows *and* Linux, can be installed on all three, is very customizable, relatively cheap, and very safe with the right extensions. not only that but you can back up the user profile, switch between them if you want and only need one good copy which you can clone ad infinitum.
a list of extensions that might just fix this little problem:
adblock [kills ads]
no script [again kills ads, helps against any javascript tricks we dont yet know about]
konquefox [adds text enlarging buttons etc]
linkification [makes text links real links]
menu editor [customizable so you clean out extra menu entries]
tab mix plus [tabs how they want] and finally greasemonkey [customizes websites like a cleaned google search for example without those ads]

OpenDNS should be your first stop... (1)

jjh37997 (456473) | about 7 years ago | (#20460079)

Four thing.....

1) OpenDNS - block a lot of phishing and adult sites before it even reaches their computer.
2) Get them an iMac - it's simple to use and most of the hacking world does not care about MacOS. Plus, unlike Linux there's a lot of support documentation on the net that a user can tap into (and understand).
3) Firefox - Safari is nice but Firefox has more ad-blocking and anti-phishing extensions that make the Internet a safer place.
4) Gmail - ditching Outlook will save you a world of hurt.

Jamie Zawinski has already done this. (2, Interesting)

bdubSOv1iKIJ403M (712039) | about 7 years ago | (#20460107)

Aside from the large text size requirement, this sounds really similar to something that Jamie Zawinski (http://jwz.org [jwz.org] ) did for the DNA Lounge kiosks [dnalounge.com] -- a set of diskless linux systems that all network boot from a central NFS server, and are easily resettable. (Sounds like quite a weekend to set up, though.)

Buy a Nintendo Wii (1)

ParadoxDruid (602583) | about 7 years ago | (#20460217)

Buy them a Nintendo Wii and download Opera for it.

* It works on any TV they have, so no need to purchase a computer, find a place for a desk, etc.
* It is a easy browsing experience, with built in zoom (helpful for older eyes).
* It can do web-based e-mail, can surf the web, and view videos, etc.
* It has a built in Weather and News channels service that are intuitive and fun
* Plus, the included game (Wii Sports) might be very enjoyable and useful for maintaining activity (particularly Bowling and Golf, which don't require quick reflexes).

My 79-year old mom... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460221)

I dreaded my mom getting a PC, but my dad ran out and bought them one a few years ago. They're both almost 80. Well, she never ceases to amaze me with her ability to do things right. During a recent complete system upgrade I installed Opera. She found it and uses it fully. She loves the "Speed-Dial" and has it filled up. Despite being a bit of a giddy-ditz type, she does have a BS in bio-chem and she's great with the computer.

Bottom line- do NOT underestimate our seniors. Their apparant slowness belies their great intelligence, adaptablity, eagerness, and wisdom. They may take a long time to understand something which is obvious to us, but overall they deserve to have at it. If you live right and with some luck, you may live to be a senior too. ;)

Of Course! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460237)

Elinks!

Virtualization is great for this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 years ago | (#20460311)

Check out the LivePC Engine [moka5.com] . It lets you take a virtual machine image and put it on a USB key. You can put a secure linux web browser in a VM on the USB key and ship it to your mom. She'd just plug in and accept autorun. Every time she plugged in the key it will rejuvenate back to a clean state. You can make you're own LivePCs or use one they have made, like "Fearless Browser" or "Ubuntu 7.04"
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