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Subterranean Slashdot Email Blues

samzenpus posted more than 6 years ago | from the so-you-want-to-work-at-slashdot dept.

Slashdot.org 267

If you can imagine working in the office of a school for gifted, troubled, and criminally insane children, inside an international airport, you can get a taste of what it is like to do support for Slashdot. I've worked here around 5 years now and have seen some crazy things. From a guy showing up at the office and offering me a car if I let him "reverse engineer Rob Malda's life", to people shaking and on the verge of tears because they got a Slashdot sticker. I was really tempted to take the car by the way but the thought of Rob spending his last few weeks in a hole, while this guy lowered a bucket of lotion and water down to him once a day, made me feel bad. Most of my time is spent answering email. Most days I receive about 50. When it's busy I can get well over a hundred. As everyone knows, people are precisely 500% more rude and angry online than they are in real life. Something about not having to see the tears or dodge the fist of the person you are swearing at brings out the worst in some people. We decided it would be fun to go through some of the more 'interesting' mails we've got through the years as part of our 10 year anniversary. Below you'll find some of my favorite rants, conspiracy theories and tantrums. (CT: Don't forget to put in your charity bid for the EFF- time is almost up.)

Lets start out with the good. I hardly ever get mail telling me how good we are and I don't expect it. I do appreciate humor though. When I get a mail like this it makes my day.

On Thu, 24 Feb 2005, ******** wrote: "Hi all Found the culprit at the London site that got them all banned from Slashdot. He was running a spider across bloglines.com, and there was a link to slashdot (which it followed).... as he said "I should have known better"... he should have, he is a real techie.... The rest of the staff at that site have taken the user outside, stripped him naked, and are currently stoning him in my middle of Oxford Street.... I hope this is an adequate punishment, and you see it in your hearts to allow ********* to access your fine online publication again. Sorry for any problems this has caused, when I get down to that site next week, I hope there are some stones left for me to throw at him."

Sometimes we get mail that is obviously for someone else.

Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 12:18:01 "I am very tired of your whining. John won custody of Brandon. There is no changing that. What makes you two think that I need Brandon to have a family? I have news for both of you I have my own kids. I don't need someone else's to complete my life. I could care less where he lives. Whether it be with Tammy or John it makes no difference to me. As a matter of fact I only have 2 kids because that is all I wanted. I sure did not need one that has a learning disability. So when you are sending out all your e-mails, letters and internet crap leave me out of it. I am just a person in the middle of all this bologna. Don't assume that what you all want is what I ever wanted. I have my own life and my own career. I have my own identity. None of it revolves around any of you or Brandon." Have a nice day!

I can only hope that everything worked out for Brandon. Sometimes people just need to share with me what's going on in their lives.

Sat, 9 Apr 2005 22:11:16 (PDT) "please take ******* off mailing list I get slash-story on yahoo and msn do not need both , and use yahoo more a lot more thank you I am a good man who very well may die in jail for something I did not do because I must take a plea 4 years of cancer has taken all of my money I am taking Clindamycin hcl 150 mg 3 pills 4 times per day plus Cipro XR 1000 mg 1 per day Acidophilus 3pills per day ! These are the new ones just for the Lung deal Cymbalta 60 mg 1 times a day ( 6mo's) prednisone 60 mg per day-off now !(4yearsplus) singulair 10 mg 1 per day (3 years) ranitide300 mg 2 times per day (3years) mirtazapine 45 mg bed time (1.5years) clonazepam 1 mg 4 times per day (2.5 years ) Advir 250/50 2 times per day (2 years ) combivent inhaler b-1 2 or 3 times a day (3 years) Wow when you write it all ! How do I keep going ? 5 Years no SSI-SSA Paid in 20 years ? Plus I must be on a lung pump W/oxygen everynight or I could die at any time !!!!!!!! Was on 60mgs of Paxil and 60mgs of steroids at the same time for over 4 years it changed my personality 100% took myself off both even with a danger of taking much time off the end of my life !"

This brings us to my favorite type of mail, the crazies. They range from the mildly disturbed to schizophrenics. I honestly wish i got more of these.

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 08:41:39 "I try to be very circumspect in the emails that I generate. Some of my contacts are personal friends and some are serious business contacts. I am sending this link because it reflects the hours of study that I have done (far less than the 10,000 that the author mentions). In the 1960's while being trained to go to Vietnam, I was taught that you never can understand your enemy till you understand his religion. This nation is in a war - not because we chose to be in the war - but because those on the other side believe that we have no right to exist and they are determined to destroy us and our way of life - simply because we do not share their religion. I will never try to FORCE anyone to believe as I believe. I will openly discuss the evidence that has made me believe as I do, and if you accept that evidence then we will be agreed. If I have accepted false evidence, or if my logic is flawed, you are my friend to show me a better way. But for others to determine that if I will not accept their religion, then they must kill me and destroy all that I have is completely repugnant to all humanity. Read, study, think and make decisions that are logical based upon available evidence. May you always walk with God."

Thursday 15 November 2001 06:33 pm "I'm writing you to express my concern as a citizen that our government has spent and is spending taxpayer dollars on research into implanting microchips into the human brain. With some of the horror stories coming out in books from authors like Cathy O'Brien and Brice Taylor--survivors of atrocious CIA mind-control experiments--the potential abuse of this technology is very alarming. Slashdot would do well to alert the public about this issue, an invasive and abuse plan to control people's very thoughts. The U.S. Air Force released a report in 1996 titled AIR FORCE 2025, which is mirrored on the Federation of American Scientists Web site at: http://www.fas.org/spp/military/docops/usaf/2025/v3c2/v3c2-4.htm [By the year 2025:] "The civilian populace will likely accept an implanted microscopic chips that allow military members to defend vital national interests." --Chapter 4 of Information Operations: A New War-Fighting Capability contained in Volume 3 of Air Force 2025: Final Report by the U.S. Department of Defense (1996) Air Force 2025 is the final report on a study conducted by the U.S. Department of Defense presented on June 17th 1996, and which seeks to identify the technologies and practices that will need to be implemented by the year 2025 in order for the United States to "remain the dominant air and space force in the 21st century." The report actually uses the term "brain chip" for the implantable microchips which can perform a number of functions such as satellite tracking at all times, personal information storage and retrieval, and behavior modification."

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 15:39:17 "What is your problem? I'm doing the best I fucking can. My whole existence is to do the right thing and make people happy. You are doing it too alright. I realize the whole world is focused on me right now, get over it. I appreciate many things in life as we all do. Just do the right thing, every single time."

About a third of all the mail I get is angry users. Most are civil, some are nasty and a few threaten me with bodily harm. Even people who aren't exactly sure what Slashdot is send me angry mail.

Mon, 01 Nov 2004 07:20:22 "Dear Whom ever! You people are absolute idoits. You mean to tell me that you ban new user who have only been using your service/server what ever the case maybe after approximately 5 minutes or so? If that is the you people do not understand the concept of customer service in the least! Period! Even though, I did not select the use of what ever the your website or service this is a example of the worst customer service of all time, bar none.(Pardoning the pun of course) If you have agreements with other companies that customize windows and special add-on programs as such, maybe what ever this issue is or is being caused by can be resolved. And you can make no mistake about it, I do not exactly what your service is, But I will not ever knowingly use your service again. And, secondly, I have also advised all the people I know online (which is many); due to fact I attend 2 universities online. Not, to use your service if they are using an version of SideBar or the like program. It is as I mentioned before, where it is a default issue with SideBar or some issue with yourselves; I am not sure and frankly, at this point I do not care. However, You might want to consider having an amendment made with or to the Sidebar group to correct the problem or If I may suggest possibly sending them an email explaining who and what your policies of usage are upon receiving any new requests online. Thank you and Good luck in the future."

On Wed, 1 Jun 2005, ***** A wrote: "All I did was drag the icon for your feed to my firefox menu bar. It has been removed. I didn't abuse anything. Go fuck yourselves, I'll bet it's the only action you minimum-wage, still-living-in-the-parents-basement, criticizing-the-industry-you-cant-make-a-living-in, whiny-assed geeks can get. Put down your officially licensed Obi-Wan Kenobi replica light saber from Star Wars episode IV (the original theatrical release!), forget about what Microsoft is doing for 30 minutes and go talk to a girl (a real one, not one you downloaded or inflated or built out of spare vacuum cleaner parts in your basement). If you can't drive fast enough, stay off the fucking freeway!"

On Wed, 15 Feb 2006, ***** wrote: "Fuck you and your karma you stupid buddhist fags. Fucking elitist prick bastards. I will just open another account. I will just troll more now because you guys pissed me off with your homo statements. Slashdot is fucking gay, the stories you post are fucking gay, the commentary is gay, all of you are gay. You are all a bunch of pseudo-intellectuals that like to post the most idiodic stories, and then the mods get mad and mod people down when they complain about the quality of stories. I've even had someone go as far as to say "Slashdot isn't for the news. It's for the commentary and discussions." What an assclown, if the stories suck then guess what? The comments are going to suck too. Besides, you guys get most of your stories from Digg and Google News anyways. You are all fucking worthless, I hope you all die and go to hell where you can make stupid rebuttals to Satan's posts and mod his comments "flamebait." Stupid cunts. By the way, ban my IP for all I care. There's plenty of computers at the library I can use to open new accounts to troll with. Your karma system is just something for your /. fanbois to jack off too (Ooh look, I got +5 Insightful, I must be a fucking genius!); it's completely worthless at stopping trolls from posting. I can't believe you make people pay for your site. So they can have a * next to their name and see the stories early. Wow! That really makes up for the lack of quality control on the front page (dup stories ALL the time, misleading headlines, misleading article summaries, mods letting stories through THEY think are interesting instead of the majority deciding... and so on) So I hope you are happy, you have gained another troll that will make sure your site gets lots of "Insightful" comments."

Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 11:48:22 "When I try to log on, I get this message:
'Danger, Will Robinson! You didn't log in! You apparently put in the wrong password, or the wrong nickname. Either try again, or have your password mailed to you if you forgot your password. Logging in will allow you to post comments as yourself. If you don't log in, you will only be able to post as Anonymous Coward.'
I'm not Will Robinson! Can't you fuckers even keep track of users? Delete all my information now before you give it away to someone else! The bank fucked me like this I won't let you. Delete my info immediately or I will report you! On second thought you will fuck that up to just give me your adress so I know where to go to beat your ass!


I sent our address but he never showed up. For some people swearing and threatening me isn't enough. We had a banned user that I exchanged mail with at least a dozen times. It soon became clear that he wasn't interested in an explanation or what I had to tell him. The last message I sent was this.

Date: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 14:40:13 From: Robert Rozeboom To: ****************** Subject: Re: FW: FW: Problem with excessive bad posting "I'm sorry but there isn't anything to correct. This is how the system was meant to work. I am sorry that you disagree and feel slighted."

The next day he mailed me a few more times. I ignored him assuming that he'd get tired of yelling and wait for the timeout to expire. The following Monday Hemos tells me HR got a complaint and a fwd. mail in which I was abusive to a reader.

From: Robert Rozeboom [mailto:samzenpus@akane.blockstackers.com] On Behalf Of Robert Rozeboom Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2005 2:40 PM To:*********** Subject: Re: FW: FW: Problem with excessive bad posting "There isn't anything to correct dumb-ass. This is how the system was meant to work. It's pukes like you that we would prefer didn't have computers to begin with. Your whiney assed email isn't going to get you anywhere. Shut the fuck up or I will block you for good."

Can you spot the differences? Luckily I had saved all our correspondence but to this day it is the one time that a user really got to me. Pukes? Who the hell besides the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket, says pukes? I'm used to the swearing and the threats but doctoring mail and trying to get me fired was a new one. So please, enjoy the site, enjoy the discussions, learn something, debate your thoughts and ideas. All I ask is that your next mail to me doesn't have WTF? as the subject.

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267 comments

W32.Chair.G@mm (-1, Redundant)

Sneakernets (1026296) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073123)

So, Slashdot gets hate mail, eh? Who woulda thunk it?



So...Any of those from Ballmer, by chance?

Re:W32.Chair.G@mm (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073235)

So...Any of those from Ballmer, by chance?
Not until he can figure out how to get a chair through the server......

Re:W32.Chair.G@mm (1)

rucs_hack (784150) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073635)

Not until he can figure out how to get a chair through the server......

If he does you can bet he'll patent it and use it to sue F**king google :-)

Re:W32.Chair.G@mm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21074093)

If this one had a few references to Jesus, I'd believe that it was from Jack Thompson...

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 15:39:17 "What is your problem? I'm doing the best I fucking can. My whole existence is to do the right thing and make people happy. You are doing it too alright. I realize the whole world is focused on me right now, get over it. I appreciate many things in life as we all do. Just do the right thing, every single time."

Go For the Throat! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073129)

Most days I receive about 50. When it's busy I can get well over a hundred.
Note to self: E-mail samzenpus about keeping consistant between writing numbers out ('hundred') versus using the number ('50') in articles. Bitch obsessively for three paragraphs in grammar nazi stylings designed to take him down a peg. Who does he think he is? Offering me aggregated news at no cost!? The very nerve!

Seriously though, thanks for posting these e-mails, hilarious stuff for a terrible Monday morning.

Re:Go For the Throat! (1)

Sneakernets (1026296) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073273)

My favorite E-mail of them all is the fake "abuse" complaint which contained this gold:


There isn't anything to correct dumb-ass. This is how the system was meant to work.

Maybe the dude sending in the false complaint should follow his own advice!

Re:Go For the Throat! (5, Funny)

rustalot42684 (1055008) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073303)

Why is this modded troll? It's obviosly a joke.
Note to self: E-mail samzenpus about how the /. mod system sucks and he should really improve it. Bitch obsessively for three paragraphs designed to take him down a peg. Who does he think he is? Offering me aggregated news at no cost!? The very nerve!

Re:Go For the Throat! (1)

SCHecklerX (229973) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073579)

Note to self: E-mail samzenpus about keeping consistant between writing numbers out ('hundred') versus using the number ('50') in articles. Bitch obsessively for three paragraphs in grammar nazi stylings designed to take him down a peg. Who does he think he is? Offering me aggregated news at no cost!? The very nerve!


Just use at least 100 or over 9000. I don't remember the right number, but I read something about it last thursday.

Re:Go For the Throat! (5, Funny)

lucifig (255388) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074389)

"Put down your officially licensed Obi-Wan Kenobi replica light saber from Star Wars episode IV (the original theatrical release!), forget about what Microsoft is doing for 30 minutes and go talk to a girl"

Angry about whatever, this is an awesome line.

Re:Go For the Throat! (2, Informative)

DirkGently (32794) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074393)

Indeed. He got it bass-ackwards.

The proper way to do it is to write out numbers below 100 and to use digits for 100 and above.

This attempt at whoring for a "+5 Informative" brought to you today by the letters W, T and F and by the numbers eighty-four and 328.

Who is *********? (0)

FatAlb3rt (533682) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073191)

Come on, post the nicknames! :)

Re:Who is *********? (3, Funny)

east coast (590680) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073353)

The sad thing is that "**********" is the name! This was just the crap from one user.

Tomorrow he's going to write about some user named "FatAlb3rt" or something. Those are the really good ones.

Cry me a river (-1, Redundant)

Rosco P. Coltrane (209368) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073221)

Most days I receive about 50. When it's busy I can get well over a hundred. As everyone knows, people are precisely 500% more rude and angry online than they are in real life.

Only 50? people are rude in emails? I guess you've never worked as tech support for Microsoft then (or any other big outfit for that matter, but I thought I'd slip Microsoft in the post). 50 emails a day is on the low side.

Re:Cry me a river (2, Interesting)

Raineer (1002750) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073331)

Most days I receive about 50. When it's busy I can get well over a hundred. As everyone knows, people are precisely 500% more rude and angry online than they are in real life.

Only 50? people are rude in emails? I guess you've never worked as tech support for Microsoft then (or any other big outfit for that matter, but I thought I'd slip Microsoft in the post). 50 emails a day is on the low side.
You know, it is possible he posted that with the intent of opening people's eyes about how bad it can be. Instead of the typical "I had to walk to school in the snow both ways uphill" response, you could show a bit of appreciation.

Re:Cry me a river (1)

cerberusss (660701) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073437)

I can't imagine _any_ tech support job going through e-mail, that would me completely unmanageable (unless said e-mails are just notifications that a ticket was added/edited in the ticket database).

Actually the jobs that get the most mail are probably management jobs, or something administrative like HR. I'm a software developer and on average I get maybe 2 e-mails per day. Who the fuck needs to mail me? Project manager just walks by, colleagues sit at the next desk and the hardware guys are in the next room.

Re:Cry me a river (1)

mollymoo (202721) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073817)

Perhaps he actually bothers to read what's written and makes an effort to answer the question which was asked. That would take much more time than your typical corporate first-line support approach, which is to answer some irrelevant question you never asked and to which you already know the answer.

CmdrTaco's in the basement mixing up the medicine (5, Funny)

Digitus1337 (671442) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073223)

KDawson's on the Pavement, posting about the government. CowboyNeal's in the trench coat, poll out, laid off

Re:CmdrTaco's in the basement mixing up the medici (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073485)

pole out

There fixed it for ya. ;)

Re:CmdrTaco's in the basement mixing up the medici (5, Interesting)

Tackhead (54550) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073739)

I'm always down for a filk. Bring it.

> CmdrTaco's in the basement mixing up the medicine,
>KDawson's on the Pavement, posting about the government.
>CowboyNeal's in the trench coat, poll out, laid off

Says he's got a bad cough, likes his job at Slashdot.

Look out kid, it's somethin' you did.
God knows when, but we're filkin' it again.
You better page down the thread a ways, linkin' to a new Friend,
The link to the Goatse site, in the big pen
He's eleven inches 'round, you only got ten.

Natalie's big tits, naked, hot grits
Talkin' that CALEA puttin' plants in the bed but
The net's tapped anyway, Natalie's right, many say
They bust Bush in early May, orders from the NSA

You must be new here, kid, don't matter what you did,
Mod up and down the Firehose, eatin' lotsa No-Doz,
Better stay away from those that decrypt with a rubberhose,
Make a clean post, watch the plainclothes,
You don't need mod points to know which way the wind blows.

Get sick, get well, hang around a inkwell,
Ring bell, hard to tell if anything is goin' to sell,
Troll hard, IP barred, get back, post Braille
Chroot-jailed, jump bail, postin' pics captioned "FAIL".
Look out kid, you're gonna get hit
By losers, cheaters, six-digit users hangin' around the theaters,
GLaDOS's chortle, make another Portal,
Don't follow leaders, watch the karma meters.

Youtubes, pwn n00bs, post b00bs, series of tubes,
Ain't fair, thow chairs, Al Gore's pig and man and bear,
Copy files, not abuse, fair use, don't steal, don't lift
Ten years of workin' and I'm postin' from my day shift

Look out kid, at -1 it's all hid,
Better jump down a manhole, Super Mario's Candle,
Don't wear sandals, post funny 'bout the scandals,
Gum's chewin' bums, in Soviet Union,
And the server's down 'cause it's outa file handles.

oh sure! (4, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073227)

you think it's funny to make fun of the mentally unstable!

well...

um...

apparently it is!

Re:oh sure! (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073379)

Mentally unstable people who have Comic Sans MS as their default font!

Re:oh sure! (2, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073585)

Well, it's not politically correct. It really ruins your karma (the 'real' one, not the /. one). It's almost as low as making fun of people with silly names or other conditions they can't influence.

But yes, it's really funny.

And, with a lot of "crazy" people I'm honestly wondering whether it's not good ol' "home grown" madness. World doesn't work like he wants it to, or he can't grasp it, so it has to be some weird conspiracy and aliens/governments/computers/whatever controling his mind, or wanting to control his mind.

Bluntly? Who'd want to control a mind like that? I'd go for some sane guy.

Re:oh sure! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21074123)

It really ruins your karma (the 'real' one, not the /. one).

Nirvana sucks, much more fun staying on the perfection treadmill.

Responses (1)

BibelBiber (557179) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073245)

Thanks for sharing. This was really good. This reminds me of the guy who runs tired.com. He once published some mails he got.

Re:Responses (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073481)

Thanks for sharing. This was really good. This reminds me of the guy who runs tired.com. He once published some mails he got.
Me too. It also reminds me of this other guy [homestarrunner.com] who posted some emails he got once on a webpage.

Re:Responses (5, Funny)

DavidTC (10147) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074053)

I, too, was once reminded of something by the article, where someone did something.

Crazies (5, Interesting)

xevioso (598654) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073247)

I've always found that people who have to deal with customer service in almost any vein often get to deal with some of the most loony people, and the rest of us only rarely get to catch a glimpse through the window of insanity. I used to work at a radio station, and we would get calls and comments from the most crazy people. Specifically, there was this one guy who always (I think he still does) call the radio station and try to get on the air through a lot of devious means. This guy thought that Stephen Spielberg killed John Lennon. We'd also get faxes from people who would write the nuttiest stuff..the one that sticks out in my mind was a bunch of writings that looked like chicken scratch, but actually was this elaborate way of writing normal sentences using mathematical equations and symbols. It was kindof cool...I almost passed it on to the cops because it reminded me of the way the Zodiac killer used to write, and this was in San Francisco. Nutty people make life more interesting.

Re:Crazies (1)

DeadManCoding (961283) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073577)

Ahh yes, customer service, the ban of geeks everywhere. If you think that's bad, try AOHell tech support for 2 years. I was in the Arizona office before it closed (and before AOL switched to "adware-based"). We all make jokes about AOLers, but that's not even the worst of it. When someone asks what a M-O-D-E-M is, you have to seriously ask yourself what you're still doing there...

Re:Crazies (5, Interesting)

Synchis (191050) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073597)

I used to work Cancellations and Tech Support for MSN Internet access. It was quite possibly the most interesting and yet horrible 6 months of my life.

Boy when people get mad at Microsoft, they vent in whatever direction the nearest "Microsoft Employee" happens to be... even though I was only technically working for the call center.

We used to get people who didn't know they signed up, people who didn't have computers but were conned into an account by a dept store employee for a discount on their purchase, people who signed up legitimately, and then threaten legal action because they faced penalties for canceling a contract... and I once spent over 30 minutes trying to explain to an 80-year old southern grand mother what an underscore was so that she could type in her user name.

I do *NOT* miss those days. :)

You can't see California... (2, Interesting)

Ron_Fitzgerald (1101005) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073743)

...without Marlon Brando's eyes. (- the rantings of a homeless person)

Pretty much the only time you have to deal with customer service is to complain. There are people who love nothing but because it gives them something to do...simply.

A friend of mine called Nynex (remember them?) so much to complain (and for no reason) that they ended up sending him a $500 check and two six-foot boxes of phone books covering every state.

Re:Crazies (4, Interesting)

Assassin bug (835070) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073915)

It isn't just costumer service folks. Entomologists get it too. I have had a couple people during my short tenure in science visit my office and swear that they are infested with something and insist that they have the culprit in a plastic sandwich bag. To make them feel like they are having their problems addressed you stick the contents under your scope and find nothing but dry skin cells and pass them off to some unfortunate dermatologist. There is a name for this condition but I'm too lazy to remember it at the moment. Liars can also be fun. Once a female police officer handed a co-worker of mine a specimen for him to identify that she found "on a window ledge". It was a crab louse. No stage of a crab louse infests window ledges.

Re:Crazies (5, Interesting)

cayenne8 (626475) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074197)

"I've always found that people who have to deal with customer service in almost any vein often get to deal with some of the most loony people, and the rest of us only rarely get to catch a glimpse through the window of insanity."

It isn't just the classic "customer service" jobs that see this....it is pretty much ANYONE that works a job dealing directly with the public. When you work a public facing job (I had several growing up and early school years), you see just how crazy, rude and downright stupid the general public is. It was a real eye opening experience for me.

I figured myself, and how I grew up was pretty average, and the same as most other people. Talk about a shock! I'd never seen such behavior. And man...some people can be true asshats...

I thought I'd seen it bad working in food service, and retail sales (although bartending was more fun, everyone tries to be nice to you and they are generally feeling pretty good after service)...but, the worst horror stories I'd heard was from a former girlfriend that was a flight attendant. She amazed me with stories of how rude and obnoxious people were on a regular basis. She did say it seemed to be worse in the NE section of the US, but, was generally bad all over to some extent.

I learned that you, at a minimum, want to be nice to 2 people....your bartenders (naturally), and your flight attendant, since they are your "bartender in the air".

:-)

But seriously, I used to advocate that we have some type of mandatory public service. That everyone had to at least for a year, work as a server in a restaurant or retail sales, just so people would know better how to treat people that are waiting on them. It isn't an easy job, not if you're good at it.

I've noted, however, that service jobs in recent years....quality has gone down. Seems no one is taking pride in good work these days...

[/ramble off]

pretty cool. (5, Funny)

mcmonkey (96054) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073251)

Do I get a pr...er, I mean, would someone get a prize if that person's email made it into the story?

(And sorry about the 'puke' thing. I was having a bad day ;)

Re:pretty cool. (1)

ahaning (108463) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073633)

So you're admitting that you sent doctored emails to Slashdot HR to try to get samzenpus in trouble? Ballsy.

Re:pretty cool. (1)

Cragen (697038) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073677)

Yeah, I was trying to decide, as I was reading, whether seeing a post or message of mine on the LIST (Loco Idiots Spouting Trash!) would be a good thing or a bad thing. I am still undecided. (Let's call that Taking the Middle Path, OM!)

WTF? (5, Funny)

W33dz (643133) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073257)

I can only imagine how many emails you will get today with "WTF?" as the subject line. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it will be more than your usual 50. :)

Re:WTF? (5, Funny)

daybot (911557) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073291)

>I can only imagine how many emails you will get today with "WTF?" as the subject line

Bah - there goes my plan for "First WTF?"

This proves /. editors don't read the comments! (4, Funny)

phorest (877315) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073263)

"This brings us to my favorite type of mail, the crazies. They range from the mildly disturbed to schizophrenics. I honestly wish i got more of these."

Re:This proves /. editors don't read the comments! (1)

whackco (599646) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073321)

Yeah, if you actually set out and read all the 1 comments, you'll find some pretty off-topic, rambling, crazy talk in this comments. This is certain.

Re:This proves /. editors don't read the comments! (2, Funny)

TechForensics (944258) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073601)

Slashdot is fucking gay, the stories you post are fucking gay, the commentary is gay, all of you are gay.

Wow, he's right. My time on /. is always merry.

Re:This proves /. editors don't read the comments! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073987)

Of course, he had to be on /. himself so he would be gay as well.

The scary thing (2, Interesting)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073267)

Is that the implantable microchip page [fas.org] is real (check out, however, the clip art source and date). It is a better article than half of the ones posted. Come on, open up and share more often. A lot of us don't take our meds all of the time. We would understand!

Re:The scary thing (1)

gknoy (899301) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074031)

[an implanted microchip capable of] creating a seamless interface between the user and the information resources (in-time collection data and archival databases). In essence, the chip relays the processed information from the IIC to the user. Second, the chip creates a computer-generated mental visualization based upon the user's request. The visualization encompasses the individual and allows the user to place himself into the selected battlespace.

What I find funny is, this sounds like the report's equivalent of "a miracle happens here". I would love if such capability existed (think of the RSI-avoidance! :)), but I think we'd hear about it if it had been invented.

Still, once such technology exists ... {grin}

WTF? (2, Funny)

zrq (794138) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073271)

All I ask is that your next mail to me doesn't have WTF? as the subject.

With this crowd, I expect that in a few hours time your inbox will be full of emails with subject 'WTF?'

Re:WTF? (1)

Tech (15191) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074137)

I doubt it. The only people who will know to email with "WTF" in the subject are those who RTFA. Anyone here does that?

What, you imagine Rob Malda being... (5, Funny)

davidsyes (765062) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073275)

called "Clarice", by an effete engineer/programmer or being told, "It PUTS the hard disk in the bucket, or it gets a reboot...", or something to that effect or affect...

Asking For Trouble (5, Insightful)

StormReaver (59959) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073293)

"All I ask is that your next mail to me doesn't have WTF? as the subject."

Do you not realize what you've just invited half of Slashdot to do?

Re:Asking For Trouble (1)

JCSoRocks (1142053) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073883)

I, for one, instantly considered sending him an e-mail with that subject... I'm too lazy, but I doubt others are!

Throw us a bone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073297)

Post some of the crazy mails about pirates and ninjas!

digg vs /. (4, Funny)

graveyhead (210996) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073387)

the thought of Rob spending his last few weeks in a hole, while this guy lowered a bucket of lotion and water down to him once a day, made me feel bad

See this is where digg clearly has the upper hand. I mean you could take away KR for days and digg would just keep going (and going, and going....) Hell I think he's been in a hole for the past entire year ;)

Re:digg vs /. (5, Funny)

Mr. Underbridge (666784) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074323)

See this is where digg clearly has the upper hand. I mean you could take away KR for days and digg would just keep going (and going, and going....) Hell I think he's been in a hole for the past entire year ;)

It works here too. The slashdot server has a daemon process called 'kdawson' that puts random submissions on the front page. I think it's in line for a promotion to senior editor as soon as it gets its 'Turing Test' accreditation.

What is a "slashdot sticker"?? (1)

wsanders (114993) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073393)

I guess I'm not clued in on this feature / bit of lore.

Why would someone be in tears if they were to receive one?

Re:What is a "slashdot sticker"?? (2, Funny)

moderatorrater (1095745) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073969)

Maybe it's like the video from "The Ring," where if you get one you'll be forced to live out the rest of your life in your mom's basement and become pasty white and never see any girls.

As for why they're in tears, I have no idea.

Re:What is a "slashdot sticker"?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073997)

Same question; what's a slashdot sticker?

What's a "slashdot sticker"? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073415)

What is a "slashdot sticker" and why would I cry and shake if I got one? Is it like getting the "black spot" in a pirate throwdown?

"Not, to use your service..." (5, Funny)

trongey (21550) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073423)

Wait. What? Slashdot provides some kind of a service? I though it was just a place where people from all over the world got together to type gibberish.

Re:"Not, to use your service..." (4, Funny)

Belacgod (1103921) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073663)

If that was the case, we'd have come up with the complete works of Shakespeare by now.

Re:"Not, to use your service..." (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21074083)

sed s/people/monkeys/

Re:"Not, to use your service..." (5, Funny)

CopaceticOpus (965603) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074221)

People these days don't know the first thing about gibberish. I remember the days of great gibberish. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter', you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah...the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war; the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

Gotcha! (1)

SoundGuyNoise (864550) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073435)

One of the few simple pleasures is being able to point to a higher up when someone who is complaining is wrong or flat out lied.

I am Will Robinson!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073449)

I am Will Robinson!!

I can empathize (3, Interesting)

rubypossum (693765) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073515)

When I worked for Big Retail Company I was in charge of the system that sent promotions out to users. We always got at least five people cursing at us for spamming them. It was incredible just how angry and irate people can get. The trouble was, the only way you could get on our email list is by saying yes to the cashier when they ask. In which case, they'd write your email address on a note card and the manager would type it in after closing. You'd actually have to watch them write it down! It just proves that some people are dimmer than others (and people REALLY hate spam.)

Re:I can empathize (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073551)

The trouble was, the only way you could get on our email list is by saying yes to the cashier when they ask.


Unless you have some super-special email validation kung-fu working ... what prevents someone from giving out someone else's email address to the cashier? (as a joke, maybe)

That way the person getting the email did NOT ever give permission to you to send and would be rightfully confused and angry at the incoming mail.

Re:I can empathize (2, Funny)

needacoolnickname (716083) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073723)

I feel bad for noway@jose.com, idont@thinkso.com, canihaveyour@email.com, and kissmy@ss.com.

They are usually the emails I give when it is required for something I have already paid for.

I also feel bad for the person who lives at 123 Main St. Anytown USA 11111.

Usually these go to the people who look at the back of my CC and still don't ask for ID when it clearly states that on my card.

Re:I can empathize (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21074331)

The trouble was, the only way you could get on our email list is by saying yes to the cashier when they ask.

Or by having somebody else say yes to the cashier and give your email address. Please, for the love of dog, use double-opt in, which was established as the only ethical way to run mailing lists literally over a decade ago.

Welcome to the bell curve. (2, Funny)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073533)

With almost a million or is it now more registered users you are going to get and equal number of genius and complete loons.
BTW.
Hey you stupid jerks why didn't you take my submission? I bet the government got to you!

In Soviet Russia and Beowulf cluster of old Koreans imagines you.

Year (1)

mp3LM (785954) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073535)

Finally, you guys put a year on something! How about the posts now?

Re:Year (1)

CheeseTroll (696413) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074379)

That's a user preference. Click your username in the upper-left. Then click the "Homepage" link (in the middle of the page). Choose a Date/time format that includes the year, and click the Apply button at the bottom.

And no, I have no idea why this isn't the default. :-)

Medical Sharing (0, Offtopic)

kryten250 (1177211) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073557)

Personally I don't care what kind of pills people have to put into their body. To me complaining about your physical ailments just makes me want to walk away from any conversation. Really, who wants to hear about my tummy aches and how my fred flintstone vitamins taste bad but my mom makes me take them anyway...

Who says "pukes?" (-1, Flamebait)

Mark_in_Brazil (537925) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073559)

Who says "pukes?" Why, none other than draft dodger and spokesman for all military people everywhere, except those who disagree with Bush, Rush Limbaugh.
Yes, Rush got a deferment because he didn't want to go to Vietnam [snopes.com]. The relevant quote:

"I had student deferments in college, and, upon taking a physical, was discovered to have a physical - uh, by virtue of what the military says, I didn't even know it existed - a physical deferment and then the lottery system came along, when they chose your lot by birtdate, and mine was high. And I did not want to go - just as Governor Clinton didn't."
Anyway, Limbaugh now refers to military people who criticise Bush's insane and stupid war as "phony soldiers [mediamatters.org]" and famously said that Paul Hackett, an Iraq War veteran who volunteered for the Marines and went to Iraq, then came back and criticized the stupid-ass war and even ran for Congress in Mean Jean Schmidt's district, was just a "staff puke [huffingtonpost.com]." He even accused Hackett of having volunteered for the military during a war "to pad the résumé."

So the term "puke" as an insult is not completely out of use, but let's just say that people with a firm grip on reality still haven't been known to use it in recent times.

You didn't tell us... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073583)

What is your problem? I'm doing the best I fucking can. My whole existence is to do the right thing and make people happy. You are doing it too alright. I realize the whole world is focused on me right now, get over it.

Hey Taco, you never told us that you and Theo were pen pals.

Reminds me of QQ topics (3, Interesting)

MMInterface (1039102) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073589)

This reminds me of the QQ topics in the WoW forums. It got to the point where people would use an alt character to post a fake complaint to start a flame war. A classic example would be someone posting with a lvl 10 warlock in the rogue forums about how rogues are overpowered an need to be nerfed. After 20 pages of long debunks it would become apparent that people had wasted part of their lives arguing with another bored rogue who didn't believe any of the crap they were posting. Not only were they playing a joke on their fellow rogues but they were making fun of people that came to their forums to complain. In a similar manner I wonder if any of these emails or posts on slashdot are from bored people expressing fake opinions that are the oppossite of their real ones, just for the amusement of seeing the responses. Always makes me think twice when it seems like someone is trying to spread FUD. Wouldn't suprise me a bit seeing as how some of those guys do visit slashdot.

Crazy? (-1, Offtopic)

Ian McBeth (862517) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073671)

[Quote]This brings us to my favorite type of mail, the crazies. They range from the mildly disturbed to schizophrenics. I honestly wish i got more of these.

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 08:41:39 "I try to be very circumspect in the emails that I generate. Some of my contacts are personal friends and some are serious business contacts. I am sending this link because it reflects the hours of study that I have done (far less than the 10,000 that the author mentions). In the 1960's while being trained to go to Vietnam, I was taught that you never can understand your enemy till you understand his religion. This nation is in a war - not because we chose to be in the war - but because those on the other side believe that we have no right to exist and they are determined to destroy us and our way of life - simply because we do not share their religion. I will never try to FORCE anyone to believe as I believe. I will openly discuss the evidence that has made me believe as I do, and if you accept that evidence then we will be agreed. If I have accepted false evidence, or if my logic is flawed, you are my friend to show me a better way. But for others to determine that if I will not accept their religion, then they must kill me and destroy all that I have is completely repugnant to all humanity. Read, study, think and make decisions that are logical based upon available evidence. May you always walk with God." [/End Quote]

This is the only email, I disagree with the classification of.
While the Sender may have exaggerated his time spent studying, the overall point of his post is far from crazy, unless of course you are a blind left wing loon.

He is referring to the fact (yes fact, it is in the history books) that Islam declared war on Western Civilization over 900 years ago now, and that culturally they (Muslims) do not care how long it takes to win a war, be it hours, days, years, centuries, or millenniums. Muslims (especially those in the middle east) do not share the same concept of time that Western Civilization follows.

It is all about world view, and Muslims do not share, or respect, the Western World view.

Perhaps you should study cultures other than those in Western Europe and North America before declaring someone crazy.

Great emails (1)

Endo13 (1000782) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073691)

My favorite idiot line had to be "By the way, ban my IP for all I care. There's plenty of computers at the library I can use to open new accounts to troll with.".

But the guy who was most certainly not Will Robinson was the funniest.

Danger, Will Robinson! (5, Funny)

ptbarnett (159784) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073735)

The guy who didn't recognize the "Danger, Will Robinson!" was the best of the lot. I'm amazed at how clueless some people can be.

At one point, I used an email address specifically for posting to Usenet, and set it up to auto-respond with a simple message: "This is an automatically-generated response. I don't read email to this address, please reply to my posting in the newsgroup".

One guy continued to reply to the automatic response, asking, then demanding that I stop emailing him. He claimed to be very upset, threatened to call the police, etc... despite the line at the beginning of every reply: "this is an automatically-generated response".

His email address was in the tamu.edu domain. At that point, I started to wonder if most Aggie jokes were actually true.

Re:Danger, Will Robinson! (2, Funny)

LMacG (118321) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073935)

"Not Will Robinson" is probably one of those guys who goes on and on about having thrown away his TV every time a television or TiVo story gets posted. Forget the children, won't somebody please think of the pop-culture references?

Such as... (2, Funny)

JCSoRocks (1142053) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073823)

If you have agreements with other companies that customize windows and special add-on programs as such, maybe what ever this issue is or is being caused by can be resolved. And you can make no mistake about it, I do not exactly what your service is, But I will not ever knowingly use your service again. And, secondly, I have also advised all the people I know online (which is many); due to fact I attend 2 universities online.
Anyone else immediately think of Miss South Carolina!? I think we should ask her if she sent that one. And by "we" I mean, US American citizens / South Africans / Iraqis / other people without maps.
...now if I could only figure out where she was from so that I could contact her... Hmmmm... Sadly, I have no map, and therefore no means of figuring out where this so-called "South Carolina" place is.

Midterm Distractions (2, Funny)

GuitarKat (1150077) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073845)

Thank you for posting this. Made midterm week a hell of a lot better, but really, I should be studying my vb.net... ^^' Yay for distractions! ^^ Oh, and if I fail... expect a really nice email from me. ;) I'm going to be a crazy!

Always fun (1)

porcupine8 (816071) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073863)

Tech support/CS emails are always the best. I have a friend who used to have control over the mit.edu homepage, and was on the webmaster email list - now THOSE are some fun emails.

And I thought the posts here were hard to follow (1)

Overzeetop (214511) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073885)

Wow. Just wow.

I realize that all of us have some difficulties putting thoughts to e-paper. We miss spell words and screw up usages. Sometimes we even leave a fragment in the post during writing, and forget to re-read the post before hitting "Submit."

Those emails are - without question - worse than what we see in the posts here on slashdot, and far worse than what I get in my inbox. I never realized how lucky I was not to have your job.

Re:And I thought the posts here were hard to follo (1)

Ant P. (974313) | more than 6 years ago | (#21073995)

They remind me of kerneltrap. You really have to see some of those windows forum threads for yourself, I can't even begin to describe them in words.

Malda is a fucking whore. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073947)

Fuck you and your e-mail you piece of shit. I hope you die of bowel cancer.

well...the guy from 2006-02-15 has a point... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21073961)

he's just a bit angry

please don't rate this +5 Insightful

Navel Gazing (0, Flamebait)

Kurt Wall (677000) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074239)

How self-absorbed and totally irrelevant. Who, besides Slashdot's founders, employees, fanboys, and wannabes give a rat's ass what it's like to do technical support for Slashdot. It's just a Web site, for cryin' out loud!

Thanks for the smile (1)

a9db0 (31053) | more than 6 years ago | (#21074397)

All I ask is that your next mail to me doesn't have WTF? as the subject.
You do realize that you'll soon be getting 5000 emails per day with said subject line?

Thanks for the article. Nice to know that PEBKAC is a factor for y'all too.

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