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Nissan Adds Robot Helper To Its Concept Car

Zonk posted more than 6 years ago | from the i-don't-trust-glados-with-a-stick-shift dept.

Robotics 127

narramissic writes "Nissan has mounted a robot passenger in the dashboard of its Pivo2 concept car whose job is to keep the driver happy, give spot-on directions, and even check your e-mail. 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always,' said Masato Inoue, chief designer at Nissan's exploratory design group, in an interview at the Motor Show. 'This guides the driver and sometimes cheers up the driver. For example, if the driver is irritated it might say 'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down.'' Other features of this vehicle include a cabin that can turn through 360 degrees so you never have to worry about looking behind when you back up and wheels that can twist 90 degrees, eliminating the need to parallel park." The article includes a video of the car talking to the driver, which is kind of adorable in a 'future is now' sorta way.

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127 comments

GLaDOS is your friend...trust me! (1)

n dot l (1099033) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138947)

From the i-don't-trust-glados-with-a-stick-shift department
Nah, GLaDOS is OK. Just don't throw her ethics module into a fire and you should be fine.

Re:GLaDOS is your friend...trust me! (5, Funny)

theotherbastard (939373) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138957)

Do you remember the time I tried to get you to turn the wrong way down a busy one way street and you were all "NO WAY!" and I was like "only kidding!" That was great.

It should be Clippy! (1)

Locklin (1074657) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140311)

I won't be happy unless the robot is made to resemble a paper clip, and pops up at the most irritating times!

Re:GLaDOS is your friend...trust me! (1)

nizo (81281) | more than 6 years ago | (#21143093)

Of course if I had one of these most likely I would be irritated because I am paying an extra $500/month on my car payment just to have an annoying robot in my car who is so useless he can't even bring the groceries in.

Re:GLaDOS is your friend...trust me! (1)

Sillygates (967271) | more than 6 years ago | (#21142179)

I'm envisioning something more like the robot pilot in the "Star Tours" theme park ride at Disneyland.

Clippy (4, Funny)

Esion Modnar (632431) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138955)

I see you're trying to parallel park. Can I assist you? Hey, now you like kinda angry. Please calm down. Count to ten. Wait! What are you doing?! Don't throw me out the window! Wait! Hey! Help!!!!

Re:Clippy (1)

finnw (415539) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139273)

I know parent is a joke but of course lots of money has been spent researching how to make such AI programs less annoying.Here's one example [stanford.edu] and another one [newscientist.com] . If they take advantage of some of this stuff it could work quite well.

Beep (5, Funny)

spankey51 (804888) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138959)

"R2! We lost number two cupholder! See if you can't lock it down!"

Re:Beep (4, Funny)

UbuntuDupe (970646) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139187)

Um ... the car's cupholders ain't for number two.

Hmm.. (1)

clickclickdrone (964164) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138961)

>'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down'
It was shortly afterwards the robot was punched into pieces and thrown out the window.

ugh (2)

ardor (673957) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138965)

You know, you've had a terrible day at work, fought with your wife, got pissed because of some other bad news, then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining! Everybody is haaappyyy! Smmiiiile!"

Distractions != happiness (1)

CarpetShark (865376) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139403)

You know, you've had a terrible day at work, fought with your wife, got pissed because of some other bad news, then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining! Everybody is haaappyyy! Smmiiiile!"


Yes, there's that, and also the fact that psychologists etc. who study happiness will tell you it comes from LACK of distractions -- facing fears, anxieties, etc., and learning deal with them head-on.

If it helps people to be aware of their moods, that could be a good thing. Trying to play calming music or something would not help though, imho.

Re:Distractions != happiness (1)

Verteiron (224042) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139875)

Reminds me of Arthur Dent's run-in with the stress-reducing features of the Heart of Gold. It takes place right after the argument with the Nutri-matic machine and is one of the more hysterical bits of the radio show that didn't make it into the books. If you haven't had the fortune of hearing it, you can read the script here [clivebanks.co.uk] . Skip down to "Scene 4. Int. Heart of Gold. Galley".

That's not what it's for (4, Funny)

Chemisor (97276) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139441)

> then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining!"

And now imagine how great it would feel to slug it.

Keep me happy? (1)

MattCohen (563977) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138971)

I'd like mine to be named Pris, a "basic pleasure model"

Re:Keep me happy? (1)

biocute (936687) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139377)

I'd like mine to be named Pris

All Japanese models are named Pris, they always say "Pris calm down".

Or maybe... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21138989)

Hi, I'm Jonny Cab!

Re:Or maybe... (1)

LingNoi (1066278) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139003)

Have a nice day!

Re:Or maybe... (1)

duck0 (1073338) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139267)

"Hal, switch to manual transmission."
"I can tell from your voice harmonics, Dave, that you're badly upset. Why don't you take a stress pill and get some rest?"

and so on

Piss you off (2, Insightful)

speaker of the truth (1112181) | more than 6 years ago | (#21138993)

I'm guessing 9 times out of 10 this will make someone angrier then they already were. Although at least they won't be depressed!

Oblig. HHGTTG Quote (2, Funny)

clickclickdrone (964164) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139009)

Hi there! This is Eddie your car computer and I just know I'm going to get a kick out of anything you want to do today. Share and enjoy!

Re:Oblig. HHGTTG Quote (1)

Feanturi (99866) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139339)

Hi there! This is Eddie your car computer

Give it the exact voice from the BBC series and plenty of funny/interesting phrases to say for various situations using HHGTTG references and I'd get a whole bundle of kicks out of having that in my car. It made me smile just thinking about it, that would probably actually work against road rage for me.

Re:Oblig. HHGTTG Quote (3, Funny)

Angostura (703910) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139409)

"impact minus 10 seconds, it's been great knowing you guys... As you walk through the storm hold your head up high...."

Hmmm, I'm not sure about that.

Re:Piss you off (1)

bombastinator (812664) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139077)

Back in the 80's there was a brief fad to replace the warning sounds of a car with spoken words. you'd get a car that would repetitively repeat "a door is ajar" when you had the car door open with the keys in the dash.

It was beyond annoying.

Eddie Murphy did a pretty good bit on it iirc.

Re:Piss you off (1)

Max von H. (19283) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139217)

I remember renting one of those back in the days. By the time I'd gone around the block to RETURN the damn thing for a mute one, I'd been served with at least 5 or 6 spoken messages. Beyond annoying doesn't even begin to describe how irritating this thing was.

"door is open", "fasten your seatbelt", "handbrake on" and so on... Had I not been able to return it, I would have prolly taken the loudspeaker apart!

Now this thing today reminds me of Sirius Cybernetics' happy elevators and doors.

Wanna make ppl happy? Make sure they reach their destination as quickly as possible, period.

Happy happy joy joy!

Re:Piss you off (4, Funny)

UbuntuDupe (970646) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139237)

"door is open", "fasten your seatbelt", "handbrake on"

Okay, I can completely sympathize, but if you routinely drive around without your seatbelt, a door open, and the handbrake engaged, I think you have some more important things to worry about.

Re:Piss you off (1)

Max von H. (19283) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139425)

Okay, I can completely sympathize, but if you routinely drive around without your seatbelt, a door open, and the handbrake engaged, I think you have some more important things to worry about.

True, but when the damn thing starts "talking" to you when you dare turn the engine on to warm up while taking your coat off with the door open, or if you're simply moving the car from the service area to the parking lot (a mere 10 yards) without putting the seatbelt on, or dare use your handbrake to start uphill with a manual transmission... the thing gets really nagging to the point you wonder if the idiot in charge of designing such an insult to intelligence ever tried it more than once.

The few people I knew who actually *bought* one of those (gasp) had the system speaker disconnected within a couple of weeks of ownership.

I don't want machines talking to me, at least not until they got some kickass AI you can actually RESPOND to!

*Zzzzzt* -Why master, why? (5, Funny)

cumin (1141433) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139921)

You can talk to this one, and it responds. There is room here for great use. Let me *borrow* from some other posts:

  • Every time I step into my car, it should try to gauge my mood and normally it should tell me a joke. Jokes get categorized by the personality types that find them funny, so most times, when I get into my car, it has something witty to say that I appreciate.
  • If I'm in a foul mood, it knows the right way to respond. For me, that means no jokes and just a short pithy saying in the tone that one would associate with Batman's butler.
  • If I'm not in a better mood within a couple minutes, it should offer further mood improvement options, based on my tendencies:
    1. If Sir cares for a stoogie, there is a convenience store that sells cigars just to your right in one mile.
    2. Sir might be interested to know there is an electronics store just two miles south of here.
    3. There is a gentleman's club ahead with free steak buffet and cheap liquor. If your majesty cares to indulge, I should be glad to send your bank a request to hold funds beyond $200 this evening and arrange for a cab to pick you up.
    4. The Duke of Earl might be interested to know that his weed supplier Kevin is still out on bond this week. Perhaps I should ring him for you?
  • Finally, there should be a little red button beside the hand break. When I press the button the robot should react as if being electrocuted. Short bursts should produce short whimpers then complaint. Longer bursts should produce howls mingled with sobbing and begging. A really long burst should produce incoherent screaming followed by lights out, no movement and no sound (simulated death.) Bonus points if the robot can simulate the voice of people I've talked to on the phone and answer to their name.

Sick? Twisted? Maybe, but I suspect it would do wonders for my mood.

Disclaimer: No, these are not really my tendencies

Re:*Zzzzzt* -Why master, why? (1)

GregPK (991973) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141049)

This sir, is the best post I've read all week... If I had points I'd mod you to the moon for this.

Re:Piss you off (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139257)

Really now. They should let the driver control the robot to induce a feeling of superiority and power. If I'm angry and he tries to cheer me up, I want it to SHUT THE * UP! And I want it to obey immediately. A funny but SHORt comment to my orders Would be allowed. Furthermore there should be a pain simulation module installed. The harder I hit dashboard/wheel the more virtual pain is fed to the comp.

Re:Piss you off (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21141331)

Hahah my dad used to have a '85 Chrysler New Yorker that talked to you. It was clearly defective, as *everytime* you started the car, it would go through a list of like 5 warnings like "engine oil level low" "service engine soon" "the door is ajar" ... I used to think it was hilarious, but it'd probably drive me insane if I had to drive the car everyday.

Re:Piss you off (1)

g-san (93038) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141469)

"You bastard! grumble... Cut me off... grumble grumble"

"You look somehow angry! Why? Please to be calm!"

"Shut up! I don't need to hear about it from you!"

"Please to repeat last command. I am happy robot!"

"Shut up!"

"You look somehow angry! Why? Please to be calm!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"You look somehow angry! Why? Please to be calm!"

Ridin Shotgun (2, Informative)

mastershake_phd (1050150) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139047)

Man this thing might cheer you up for a little while, but the novelty will quickly wear off, especially after you realize how much money you spent on your robot co-pilot.

Re:Ridin Shotgun (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139877)

...especially after you realize how much money you spent on your robot co-pilot.
So spend it on family instead? The robot's sole purpose is to make you happy - family can't compete with that.
Besides, mine would sing Mr. Roboto and randomly shout, ryuu hokousha urei!.

Just imagine it reading spam emails, telling the driver to buy discount viagra, while a cop's pulled them over. Hilarious!
Add Rob Schneider or Ben Stiller to those circumstances and it's the makings of a hit comedy.

Japanese (3, Insightful)

youthoftoday (975074) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139059)

This seems to be a feature of Japanese (and Chinese) technology, the idea of enforced 'happiness'. Smiling faces everywhere, bright colours garish colours and features. Perhaps this has only limited cultural relevance in the international market?

Re:Japanese (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21141067)

That and they cannot make cars that drive very well (Nissans are generally unbalanced and their engines sound barley better than your standard fart can rice rocket), so they need something gimmicky to sell their cars.

Pivo? (3, Interesting)

Aladrin (926209) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139065)

Isn't 'pivo' how you say 'uh oh' in Russian? (I tried to find a copy of the Sealab 2021 'uh oh' song online, but I can't now.)

The cab that rotates is neat, but it seems it would be easier to just turn the car around than bother spinning the whole cab, driving out, then spinning it back. The tires are neat, but if you have a problem with the mechanism, I bet it's a bitch to find a mechanic that can fix it without charging an arm and a leg.

Neat car, but I'm betting it stays 'concept' for quite a long time.

Re:Pivo? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139139)

In Polish, piwo (which is pronounced as pivo) means "beer" :)

Re:Pivo? (1)

frenchbedroom (936100) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139203)

In czech and in croatian, pivo means beer too :)

Re:Pivo? (1)

Hackeron (704093) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139195)

in Russian Pivo which is pronounced Pivo is Beer.

Re:Pivo? (1)

porpnorber (851345) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139401)

Electric drive, fly by wire - mechanically this can be vastly simpler than a conventional car. Sure, the mechanic will charge you an arm and a leg - but that's mostly because he can, and because you're the sort of person who is willing to pay for a perky droid in the dashboard, not because of any huge complexity in the repairable components.

Re:Pivo? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139455)

dunno... but its how you say "beer" in slovenian...

Re:Pivo? (1)

drgonzo59 (747139) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140333)

No. Pivo means 'beer'. Which actually would make me pretty happy. Just listening to that sweet 4 letter word....hm, I'll go grab another cold one from the fridge!

Paranoia Paperclip anyone? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139071)

Please be happy. The computer is your friend. You are not smiling, I am taking control for your own safety. Please remain seated while I drive you to the nearest reeducation center.

Are you not happy citizen? (1)

Barny (103770) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139079)

'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always'

"Driver, it has been noted that you seem to be unhappy, I am now administering a dose of happiness inducer No57, you will be happy citizen, compliance is mandatory."

"You appear to have taken an unscheduled turn citizen, are you disobeying the Computer? Please note course change to direct you to the nearest termination facility, also note that driving left off the bridge ahead will prove your loyalty to the Computer and increase efficiency."

Re:Are you not happy citizen? (1)

stormguard2099 (1177733) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139111)

For example, if the driver is irritated it might say 'Hey, you look somehow angry./quote? "you want happ ending?" Now that's how you ensure "happy" drivers.

Re:Are you not happy citizen? (1)

kidcharles (908072) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139807)

Awesome Paranoia reference. I played a session this summer, before that I hadn't played it in 15 years.

Re:Are you not happy citizen? (1)

Cassius105 (623098) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140353)

I am very happy friend computer

Beware the DHS .. (1)

trolltalk.com (1108067) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140427)

> 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always'

And where, pray tell, did they get this data? Chips implanted into people's brains? Asking people after an accident "Are you happy?"

The happiest driver is a suicide bomber about to get his 72 virgins. Once the DHS gets this, they'll nuke anyone from orbit who is too happy because they just got a raise, a new baby, a blow job while sitting in traffic, etc.

And that's why (1)

liquiddark (719647) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141435)

The Apple version of this product is a RealDoll.

Happy drivers are safer (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139101)

By the way, did they check happiness before or after accidents? I guess drivers who got home will be happier than those who had an accident..

Happy drivers are NOT necessarily safer (1)

Nick Driver (238034) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139831)

I know that whenever I'm driving, and in a really happy mood, I tend to push that right pedal down a bit harder and don't watch out so vigilantly for motorcycle cops hiding behind the roadside trees.

My defensive driving class is next Saturday :-/

Future value... (1)

NewToNix (668737) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139115)

We all know how fast new cars depreciate, and we also know the same is true (even more so) for electronic gadgets. So I predict if this ever goes into production it will be the fastest depreciating vehicle ever offered for sale.

On the other hand, if the 'robotic head' can be legally used as the 'second person' for the car pool lanes they may be on to something...

Been done (3, Insightful)

Oligonicella (659917) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139127)

Did no one learn anything from Clippy?

Cybersex (5, Funny)

g253 (855070) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139129)

Ok, so how far exactly is this robot willing to go to keep me happy?

I got an idea! (1)

Serpentegena (991730) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141555)

Hmmmm((... Thomas est amoureux:D???))
- from an engineering point of view, all they need is a goose-neck extension and a suction cup and they're already tracking facial expressions - hmmmmmm...mind if I patent that???

To selectively quote: (1)

solevita (967690) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139133)

and even check your e-mail. 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones
Checking my emails whilst I drive home isn't going to make me a happier driver, but will probably take my concentration away from that thing I was supposed to be doing. What was that again? Oh yeah, driving my car...

Driving would probably be safer if it was a bit more like driving, and less like the office.

Not to mention the fact that driving a Nissan isn't going to put a smile on anybody's face!

Share and Enjoy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139209)

I do hope that they'll buy those robots from Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
Having Marvin permanently fixed to the dashboard would make any driver much happier.

Happy Happy Joy Joy (1)

masticina (1001851) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139239)

Well I guess since we all are in a joly mood I am going to add my point! ( oh yeah I know this will be modded down to hell! And I don't Care!)

Ready all?

Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy ...

Fascism 2.0 (1, Interesting)

marcello_dl (667940) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139249)

Nevermind that whatever assistant is a distraction.
The problem is that our society wants the truth to be masked. So you can dress as (we make) you want, say what (we make) you want, rebel as (we make) you want, as long as you are up against the minions like you.
You look tired and older? get your face lifted.
Pissed off in an airport? watch out, you're considered a terrorist.
Feeling depressed? get drugs first, then we can discuss what makes you feel sad, but the objective is removing your depression so you can get back together with the blissful happy ones.
Want to enjoy what your other peers apparently feel fun in a disco? try some pills.

So we disrespect our propaganda-resistant collective memory called "the elders". We feel inadequate while we are fed impossible models and we are presented as an inescapable effect of "progress" the current economy drugged by banking capital which supersedes the older concept of "creating the best product". We consider "natural law of the jungle" the planned lack of improvement of the "human resources" which are ideally disposable drones with the bare minimum of know how to accomplish a task.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows."

obligatory Bender quote (1)

roesti (531884) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139289)

"For example, if the driver is irritated it might say 'Hey, you look somehow angry...'"

"If it's any consolation, my life is great. Babes, bucks, I got it all."

happy driver (1)

meeya (1152133) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139309)

Talk to the driver? not happy? next thing is should be releasing of some kind of gas that keeps the driver alert or releasing a scent that driver likes or offering a drink may be. advice: Don't use N2O.Never use porn :)

I've got one too, except she sits in the back seat (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139317)

and cost a lot more than the car

ymmv

New ad slogan: (2, Funny)

Chris Mattern (191822) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139321)

"He's your plastic dashboard pal who's fun to be with!"

Chris Mattern

Yaaaay! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21139357)

JohnnyCab!

Three-breasted women next, please.

obligatory..... (1)

asm2750 (1124425) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139359)

I, for one, welcome our new R2D2 knockoff overlords.

Nooooooo (1)

dropadrop (1057046) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139385)

The only thing thats more annoying then a talking car is one that has a french accent.

I would punch this stupid robot. (1)

tjstork (137384) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139419)

"be nice!"

"Shut up, stupid robot"

POW.

Great ... Microsoft Bob on wheels ... (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139471)

"Hi! It looks like you're driving an SUV with a cell phone plastered to the side of your head. Would you like help with that?"

redundant (3, Interesting)

tolomea (1026104) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139533)

the car has a square footprint and the wheels turn through 90deg, by extension it should be trivial to turn the whole car on the spot, so why bother making the cabin independently movable?

Genuine People Personality? (1)

Yehtmae (704201) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139709)

"I think you should know I'm feeling really depressed."

Trunk monkey! (1)

loopgru (885829) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139717)

Can I get it installed in the trunk instead? Preferably skinned to look like a chimp?

R2D2 (1)

mattr (78516) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139853)

Sliding in sideways and navigating into a parking spot looking straight at it was quite cool. That, and being able to just stand up and walk straight ahead right out of your car, were cool.

The robot seemed neat, though I'd prefer a sexy British gal's voice; its voice seems designed to sound like the blue robot cat from the 24th century, Doraemon (which they should license as fast as they darned can). As I got to reading these comments though I liked the idea of slugging it too.

When I sat in a car once in the U.S. that had lower insurance rates because a robot arm would fasten the seatbelt tightly against you on closing the door, and I hated it. So I started wondering if you could lift the robot out like R2D2. I thought it might be fun (I hope it doesn't mean I'm sick) to hang it upside down from the car ceiling by a string attached to its feet (if it has any).

It would also be quite cool though if it could still talk, letting it be charged in the socket magnetically some other way like an ipod, so that you could take it out and maybe carry it along with you. It might make a useful light when you go camping and maybe have a GPS so you wouldn't get lost, it could keep a couple of cans of beer cold, etc.

Just Stupid (1)

kidcharles (908072) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139865)

This is one of the most perfect examples I have seen of engineers coming up with something undeniably stupid and useless. How the hell is a talking robot going to make someone happy? Unless the driver is mentally retarded or a child, this is not going to work, and the last time I checked they don't let those people drive. This is right up there with internet-connected refrigerators that e-mail you when you are out of milk. Note to engineers: run your ideas through a common sense filter BEFORE you start development.

Re:Just Stupid (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141213)

Doesn't sound like you're very happy, dude. Maybe you need a robot.

A few things I'd like to see... (1)

Tastecicles (1153671) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139899)

...before I fork out on a car:

1. chasing red lights under the front of the hood
2. retractable spoilers and headlight modules
3. rocket booster and kickflip pole/air cannon for those days when the eight foot wall is just in the way
4. a talking car alarm (instead of the 110dB klaxon it pipes up with its psychologist-mode "Why did you feel the need to do that? Can we sit and talk about this?")
5. headlight-mounted 30mm cannon and tail-mounted tyre spike dispenser
6. autoinflate tyres
7. anti-thief immobiliser (one that drops a blade from the roof and cuts the would-be carjacker's legs off. Think of it as poetic justice - he tried to immobilise me, so I immobilise him.

I'll think of more eventually...

In Soviet Russia... (1)

foxtrot (14140) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139917)

er, uh, sorry, fingers on autopilot there.

Anyhow, this thing will sell like hot cakes in Russia.

In Russia, "Pivo" means "beer".

On the other hand, the "keep the driver happy" robot has one hell of a set of shoes to fill if it's gonna try to keep people as happy as beer.

-F

Where to today Navigator??? (1)

RancidMilk (872628) | more than 6 years ago | (#21139933)

I think that I saw this in a movie once, only it was a spaceship instead of a car, and Fred Savage was the driver.

This car will be released to consumers... (1)

istartedi (132515) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140035)

This car will be released to consumers as soon as they work out a licensing deal with the Hello Kitty people.

Life imitates art (0, Redundant)

jnnnnn (1079877) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140055)

It's amazing how much this sounds like something produced by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation [wikipedia.org] .

happy human - happy robot (1)

carlosap (1068042) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140065)

Well it doesnt have to be that nerd r2d2 robot, it could be like this: http://www.realdoll.com/sample13.asp/ [realdoll.com] So when you are angry because your wife cheat on you, this robot is going to say shut up! and it will start to ... (ummm well put your best fantasy here)

Anyone remember Clippy? (1)

gagol (583737) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140073)

From a certain office software...

Next thing to happen (1)

Fuzuli (135489) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140221)

A geek with a lot of imagination hacks the helper, uses a wig, some silicone, adding some more movement capability, and voila: we have a car with automated blowjobs. A happy end to getting bored in traffic jams. (a lot of accidents will surely follow)

Keeps driver happy, spot on directions, read email (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21140325)

sounds like my bitch, except at least bitch doesn't wear metallic braces when she sucks me off

Electric Cars (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21140357)

Another motor show, another concept car with useless features. Has anyone noticed that these concept cars mostly never see the day on the road? I'd like to see these electric cars for sale but without the ridiculous design. Can't they just make a normal electric car? It's more like there is a consipiracy or something that the automakers continue to churn out these concept cars that no ordinary people will be willing to buy.

I can't believe these companies waste so much money on developing hybrids, fuel cells, etc. but don't sell just a simple electric car with better batteries. There's no way the amount of energy generated from a vehicle would be more efficient than by power utility companies. If they are really serious about saving the environment as they claim, they must sell electric cars.

Remind me of Elvis Gratton... (2, Funny)

clgoh (106162) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140391)

Sorry for the French (well, Quebecois...)but it is still worth the watch...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cood3ZnRJk8 [youtube.com]

Star Wars (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21140547)

All I could think of was what it would be like to be Han Solo dealing with C3P0.

What Nissan should have done was create an R2D2 droid. It could hop out and replace a flat tire, it would change your oil while you are at work, and it would do it all with an attitude. Plus, the arc welder would make a nice theft deterrent.

Not distracting at all (1)

Geminii (954348) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140693)

It looks like you've got road rage! Would you like some help?

Re:Not distracting at all (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21140863)

It looks like you're trying to load your pistol. Would you like some help?

I'm Sorry, I can't do that. (1)

zyxwvutsr (542520) | more than 6 years ago | (#21140725)

Open the pod bay doors, Pivo-kun. ... Open the pod bay doors, Pivo-kun.

Brought to you by the fine engineers ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21140941)

At Sirius Cybernetics [wikipedia.org] , perhaps?

Dear Nissan, (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21141037)

Do not anthropomorphize your cars. They hate it when you do that.

Give me a back rub, please... (1)

sholtzy (1180569) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141143)

Most definitions* require a "robot"** to physically interact with it's environment using mechanical dexterity. I suppose we have to let this little guy into the robot club because it can nod and "smile" (thereby communicating with a human using mechanical means). I'm still inclined to call these*** machines "mechanical-visual interfaces", IMHO.

* Robot [wikipedia.org] mentions that there are so many robots in Japan partially because Japan's definition of the word is looser than others.

** Gone are the days when robots were a type of bio-engineered humanoid. RIP, Capek.

*** Most popularly, Kismet from MIT. (I wonder if he ever bit anyone...)

But can it play wack-a-mole? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21141345)

And does the car come with a mallot?

Another "nanotube" article... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21141599)

Until I can actually purchase a product made with nanotubes, all these announcements are nothing more than vapourware.

Keep driver happy? Just add pr0n! (1)

noidentity (188756) | more than 6 years ago | (#21141977)

'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always,'

Just add a pr0n projector to the windshield!

Hmmm, on second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea.

I dont need a machine to make me happy... (2, Funny)

AmazingRuss (555076) | more than 6 years ago | (#21142051)

...when I drive. I NEED a machine to man the chain gun so I can concentrate on maneuvering.

Its name ... (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 6 years ago | (#21142609)

.. is Unicron.
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