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Picture-Sorting Dogs Show Human-Like Thought

Zonk posted more than 6 years ago | from the i-will-replace-you-with-a-small-boxer dept.

Science 175

ComputerDog writes "A new study shows they can sort photographs into categories in a similar way to humans. In experiments, dogs were shown photographs of a landscape and of a dog, and were rewarded if they selected the latter using 'a paw-operated computer touch-screen'. Later they were able to correctly categorize dogs shown on an unfamiliar background landscape. '' "

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Or rather ... (5, Insightful)

Aetuneo (1130295) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632885)

Picture-sorting Humans show Dog-like thought. Who are we to claim that dogs behave like humans? Humans behaving like dogs makes just as much sense.

Re:Or rather ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21632931)

Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer sat at their usual booths at Monk's, their favorite diner.

"Gee, George, it's a shame about Susan," Jerry offered, trying to sound sincere.

"Yeah, well ... yeah." George was still trying to cover up his glee at escaping the marriage vows by his fiancee's untimely death.

"Still," Kramer said, sipping his soda loudly, "it's kind of a good thing."

Elaine looked at him, shocked. "How can you say that? A woman has died."

Kramer put his glass down with a bang. "I think it's kinda obvious that Georgie-boy here needs to get a little more pussy before he settles down."

"What?" Elaine was stunned.

Jerry just nodded. "I agree."

"Hey!" George said, outraged, "I'll have you know I've had plenty of pussy in my life."

"I can't believe you're all sitting around here talking about this in front of me," Elaine said, shocked.

"Oh, get over it," Jerry said. "You're worse than the rest of us when it comes to talking about fucking."

Elaine glared at her former boyfriend, then calmed down. "I guess you're right about that."

"Who cares about that?" George said, still angry. "Let's get back to me. I've fucked a lot of women in my life! Dozens! A hundred at least!"

"A hundred?" Jerry scoffed.

"OK, maybe a couple dozen," George said, a little humbled.

"Name 'em," Kramer shot back.

"Name 'em?" George said. "I can't name 'em. I can't remember their names."

"OK, then, tell what you do remember about them," Jerry said.

George thought. "Well, there was Susan, of course. Then that one woman with the male roommate. Then the woman whose grandmother's funeral I went to. And that antique store woman. And the one who I wanted to think we were gay. And that woman I dated, then Jerry dated. And that woman who got the nose job. Boy, I had to screw her with my eyes closed."

"OK, that's seven," Jerry said. "Who else?"

George thought, then admitted. "That's it."

"Seven?" Elaine said, snickering. "That's it?"

"Hey," George said, getting angry, "it's not how many boats are on your ocean, it's how big the waves are."

"What?" Elaine said.

"I think you mean, 'It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."

"That makes no sense," George said. "It's not how many boats .."

Elaine cut him off. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying I'm a great fuck," George said, proudly.

"Ha!" Kramer said. "I'm the best fuck at this table."

"Gentlemen," Jerry said, scoffing. "I beg to differ. I'm the best fuck here."

"Ha!" Elaine snorted. "You couldn't even make me cum in all the times we fucked."

"That's because it was before I got good," Jerry countered. "I've had plenty of women since we screwed, and they taught me a thing or two about fucking."

"Well, there's only one way to settle this, you know," Elaine said, sitting back, folding her arms.

"What's that?" Kramer asked.

"Another contest," she said.

"You mean, like when we saw who could go without beating off the longest?" Jerry asked.

"Exactly," Elaine answered. "Except this time, I'm going to have to be the judge, so I should get some of the money up front."

Jerry looked at Elaine in disbelief. "Are you saying ...?"

"Yup," she said, smiling. "I'm going to have to fuck all of you."

George couldn't believe his ears. He's wanted to bang Elaine ever since he met her, but he'd always been a little afraid of her. "Are you serious?"

"Sure," she answered. "You guys all put up $500 each. I get half, and the winner gets the other half. Deal?"

Jerry shrugged. "I'm game."

George nodded. "Count me in!"

"Giddyup!" Kramer shouted.

They shook hands on the deal.

"OK, how do we decide who goes first?" Jerry asked.

"Pick a number between one and 10," Elaine said.

"Two! No, Six!" George blurted out.

"Which one you want?" Jerry asked, angry.

"Seven!" That's it! I want seven!"

"I want two," Jerry said.

"Ten," Kramer said.

"It's two," Elaine said. "Jerry's first."

George pounded his head on the table. "That was my first number!"

"OK, guess again."

"Two!" George blurted out.

"Ten," Kramer said.

"It's nine," Elaine said. "Kramer's second. George is last."

"You dope!" Jerry said, hitting George on the back of the head. "She just picked two! Why did you think she'd pick it again!"

"Hey! I coulda happened!"

That night, Jerry sat on the couch in his apartment, reading Penthouse. His cock was pressing against his pants, making his Dockers a tent. He thought about whacking off, but he didn't want to get the couch dirty. He was about to go into the bathroom to masturbate when the door buzzer went off. He got up and pressed the button. "Yeah?"

"It's Elaine"

"'Mon up." He buzzed her in, just like he did a thousand times before. He stashed the magazine behind a sofa cushion and sat down on the sofa, trying to cover his hard-on with a pillow. If he could just sit still for a little while, the swelling would go down and Elaine would never notice the difference.

Elaine walked in, wearing a trenchcoat. She shut the door behind her. "You ready?" she said, in the same sultry voice she had used on the tape recorder during one of Jerry's acts, the tape that had turned Jerry, George and Kramer on.

"Ready for what?"

She shed the coat, letting in drop on the floor. She stood there in a white teddy. The lace did little to hold back her shapely boobs. Her darkened nipples pressed against the faint material.

Jerry was stunned. He had forgotten all about the contest. He had seen Elaine naked before, of course, but he forgot how fuckable she was.

His eyes traveled from her boobs down her flat stomach to the white panties. He saw the junction of her thighs. She was as hairy as he remembered, some of her pubic hairs spilling out from the sides of the panties.

He could feel his dick stiffen even further. He shifted in his seat, the rubbing of the pillow warning him that he was on the verge of cumming, even though she hadn't touched him yet.

She strutted over to the sofa, sitting down next to him.

"Uh," Jerry said, feeling his dick, already close to exploding, pressing against the pillow, "can we do this some other time."

She shook her head. "It's time. You go first. It's time to put up or shut up."

She slid over, pressing her lips against his. He felt her tongue slip between his lips as he tried desperately to keep from cumming. She slid her hand under the pillow, feeling his hardened cock through his pants.

Wow, she thought as she felt his hard cock. I'm really turning him on.

He absent-mindedly rubbed up against her hand, trying desperately not to cum. But she rubbed him through his trousers and he came.

Elaine felt the dampness right away, and she pulled away, shocked. "Did you cum?"

Jerry could only nod weakly.

She screwed up her face in a pout. "This is just like when we were together. You always got your rocks off then left me lying there with nothing to do but play with my pussy. You're such a baby."

"I couldn't help it," Jerry whined. "I was reading a Penthouse before you came in! I forgot you were coming over!"

She got up off the couch. "You forgot I was coming over to fuck you? That's it! You're out of the contest!"

"No! You gotta give me another chance!"

She picked her coat up off the floor and put it on. "Forget it, Seinfeld!" She said, storming out the door, slamming it behind her.

Jerry jumped up to ran after her, then looked down at the mess in his pants. He ran to the bathroom to clean up before he got any stains on his floor.

She knocked on Kramer's door, across the hall. Cosmo Kramer answered, wearing a smoking jacket and puffing on a big cigar.

"Good evening, Elaine," he said, just as suave as he could. "I've been expecting you."

"Hiya, Kramer," she said. She wasn't particularly looking forward to sleeping with Kramer because she had never found him attractive. But she wanted the money.

"Please make yourself comfortable" Kramer said, smoothly. "Can I get you a drink?"

"What do you have?" She sat down on the couch.

"I've got wine, champagne, Snapple, scotch ..."

"Give me some scotch," Elaine ordered.

"Okie-doke." He strolled over to his bar, then tossed a couple of ice cubes in a glass and poured some scotch. He handed her the glass, then tried to sit next to her on the couch, but missed and ended up sitting on the floor.

"So, how do you want to do this?" she asked.

"However you want," he answered. "That's part of what makes me a great lover. I do whatever the lady says."


"Oh, yeah," he answered.

"So," Elaine said, sitting back, "if I were to tell you to take all your clothes off right now ..."

Kramer stumbled to his feet. He took off his robe, tossing it over to the side, knocking over a lamp in the process. He fumbled with the buttons of his pajama shirt, failing to undo them. Finally he just ripped it off, revealing a hairy sunken chest. Then he yanked his pants down, tripping over them as he struggled to get them off his feet. Finally, he stood in front of Elaine.

She gasped as she took a look at his cock. She had always known he must be big because he was a big man, but she never dreamed that he was this big. His dick was nowhere near erect, but it was already over 10 inches long! He was uncircumcised, so the head just barely peeked out of the foreskin. It looked like a horse's dick to her. This was the biggest cock she had ever seen!

"Oh my god," she moaned.

He posed for her, hands on his hips. "That's what everybody says, baby. What do you want me to do now?"

She stood up and took off her coat. He nearly fell over when he got a look at her compact but voluptuous body. She hooked her fingers in her panty strings, then slowly slid them over her waist. She let them drop to the floor.

"On your knees," she said.

Kramer dropped, then walked over to where she stood, like a dog.

"Lick my pussy," she ordered.

"Aye-aye," he answered. He slid his hands up her smooth thighs, grabbing an asscheek in each hand. Then he buried his face in her crotch.

"Ooooh," she moaned from the shock of sensation.

Kramer licked Elaine's pussy like a pro. He ran his tongue along the inner lips, taking time to nibble on her clit. She had to admit, even though Kramer looked like a doofus, he could eat pussy.

"Yes, Kramer, eat my cunt. Lick me. Oooooh, it feels sooooo gooood..." she moaned.

He took her to the brink of cumming, then backed off. She looked up in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled as he positioned his massive cock at her cunt. "It's showtime," he groaned.

He pushed the head past her lips. She had never felt so filled before, and she knew he wasn't even all the way in yet.

"Slow, Kramer. Slow."

"Oooh, yeah." Kramer began fucking her in slow motions, digging deeper and deeper with his dick, trying to bury as much of his cock in her as he could. He was only three quarters in and felt himself touching bottom.

Elaine grabbed his asscheeks, her fingernails digging in as she pulled him in. "Fuck me, ooh, fuck me baby"

Kramer's head moved in spastic motions as he continued fucking Elaine.

She was just getting into the groove of the fucking when she felt Kramer explode in her cunt.

"Oooooh, yeah!" he bellowed. "Yes! Yes!"

She felt only a couple of blasts of cum in her before he collapsed on her. His dick softened and slipped out of her cunt quickly, leaving her unsatisfied.

"So," Kramer said, with a satisfied look on his face. "What do you think of Kramer now?"

"Is that it?" Elaine said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I haven't cum yet. What are you going to do about that?"

"Do? What do you expect me to do? I just cum in there. You don't expect me to eat you now, do you? And I'm not going to finger-fuck you. That's disgusting."

She couldn't believe her ears. "You selfish bastard!"

"Hey," he said with a smug expression. "I'm Kramer. You're bitching now, but tomorrow you'll be begging for more."

"Wrong, Dorkface. Tomorrow morning I'll be handing $750 to George. He can't possibly be a worse fuck than you are."

She gathered her things together and left, pissed off.

Elaine went to George's apartment. She rang the bell several times, but nobody answered. He must be at work, she thought. Fortunately, she had his spare key, just like he had hers in case of an emergency. They were keymates. She let herself in, locking the door behind her.

She went into the bedroom and doffed her trenchcoat. She slid into the bed. I'll surprise the little bastard.

She stared at the ceiling, smiling. No matter how bad George was, she was going to give him the prize money. That'd show Jerry the premature ejaculator and Kramer the insensitive prick.

Suddenly, she heard the key turn in the lock on the front door.

She decided to strike a pose to turn George on. She got on her knees and tossed her hair back, doing her best impression of Cindy Crawford.

Into the bedroom door walked Susan, George's supposedly dead fiancee'.

"Elaine?" she exclaimed.


Susan was so happy to see someone she knew she didn't question why Elaine was in George's bed in a teddy. She just rushed forward and hugged her, nearly knocking the wind out of Elaine. "My God, you wouldn't believe what happened to me."

Elaine was flabbergasted. "We ... we ... we all thought you were dead! We went to your funeral!"

"That wasn't me. That was somebody else! The hospital screwed up! And since my parents insisted on a closed casket, nobody knew it was somebody else! I was in a coma. I just woke up three days ago! I just gave my father a heart attack!. Where's George?"

"He's ... uh ... he's ... uh ..."

Suddenly, Susan noticed Elaine's outfit. "And what the fuck are you doing in his bed, half naked?"

"I can explain..." Elaine started weakly.

"You'll do more than explain, you bitch," she barked. "What is this? I'm dead, and you move in on my fiance? You're going to pay for this, you stuck-up little bitch!"

She grabbed the lace strings that held the top of Elaine's nightie on, revealing her small but firm breasts. She reached out and twisted the brunette's right nipple, painfully. "You're going to do exactly what I say."


"Quiet!" Susan suddenly slapped Elaine's mouth. "I haven't had a decent fuck since George and I got engaged. I knew I was making a mistake giving up women, but it wasn't until right now that I realized what I wanted more than anything. A female slave. A fuck-slave."

"You can't ..."

"I said quiet, you slut!" Susan slapped Elaine's mouth again, harder. "You do not speak until I say so, understand?"

Elaine nodded, without a word.

"You're catching on, bitch." Susan said, a wicked smile on her face. "Now, you do whatever I say, or you'll catch hell like you've never caught it before." The blonde took off her blouse and skirt, revealing a one-piece white silk slip. She sat on the edge of the bed. "You will refer to me as Master. Do you understand?"

Elaine was on the edge of tears in fear. The almost-Amazon blonde had always intimidated her a little, but now she was petrified. She knew Susan could whip her in a fight, and badly. "Yes, Master," she whimpered.

"Take the nightie off the rest of the way."

Elaine slipped off the rest of her lingerie. Her breasts bounced slightly as she did that, the brown nipples hardening.

Susan licked her lips as she saw Elaine's pussy come into view. She had always been a little attracted to the smaller woman, but never did anything about it because she was with George. Now that she could see Elaine was having some sort of sick affair with George, it was payback time.

"Start playing with your tits," Susan ordered.

Elaine reached up and started fondling her breasts.

"Stroke them," Susan said, in a softer voice. "Tell me how much you love it."

Elaine felt her breasts becoming more sensitive with each stroke, "I love playing with my tits, Master. They feel soooo goooood."

"Pull on the nipples," Susan cooed.

Elaine did as she was told, pulling the brown nubs, rolling them between her fingers.

Susan couldn't resist feeling her own breasts through her silken slip. "Tell me how it feels."

"My tits feel warm and goood," Elaine moaned. "My nipples are soooo hard."

"You love to play with your tits, don't you, slave?"

"Yeeesssss, Master," Elaine said, totally getting into her slave role.

"And you love it when someone licks them for you, don't you?"

"Yeessss," Elaine moaned.

Susan leaned forward, pursing her lips into a small "O" as she neared Elaine's left breast. Elaine gasped as she felt the lips clamp onto the nipple. She felt Susan's tongue slide over her nipple, sending a charge of pleasure through her body. The blonde then moved her mouth to the other breast, trailing saliva across Elaine's chest as she went.

Susan loved the feel of the nipples in her mouth. She rubbed them with her tongue, making smacking noises as she nibbled on them.

"Suck me, Master," Elaine said, stringing her fingers through Susan's hair, trying to feed as much of her breasts into the warm mouth as she could.

Susan pulled back then. "Get up, slave."

Elaine was slow to follow the order, so Susan slapped her firm ass as she reluctantly got up from the bed.

Elaine winced from the pain as she stood, naked before her master. Susan took in the delightful view -- Elaine's breast, still moist from her mouth. Elaine's wide hips, which looked appetizing on such a small woman. Her dark pussy hair, with contrasted with the porcelain skin.

Susan stood and shed her slip.

"Come to me, slave," Susan growled,

Elaine approached slowly, uncertain of what was to happen.

"Kiss me, Elaine."

Elaine wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck. her breasts fitting neatly under Susan's own as they pressed into her master's body.

Susan wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, feeling the hard nipples against her skin.

Susan then raised one hand to Elaine's head and drew it to her. They kissed, their lips parting as they met. Susan, firmly in control, slid her tongue into her slave's mouth.

Elaine slid her hands all over her master's body, moaning into Susan's mouth.

Susan pulled back a bit, breaking the kiss. Even though she was the master, she could no longer hold back from doing the things she wanted to do to Elaine.

Susan sat down in a chair across from the bed. She felt her moistness of her own pussy as she sat. She hadn't been this excited in ages.

Elaine watched as her master put her hand on her blonde pussy and begin massaging the outer lips. Susan slid forward on the seat, spreading her legs wide. She ran a hand down her stomach to the thick patch of blonde hair, brushing her fingers across her outer lips. She felt close to cumming, but she wanted to cum in Elaine's mouth.

"Get your ass over here, slave," she moaned through gritted teeth.

Elaine dropped to her knees and crawled to Susan.

"Good slave. Now look at my pussy."

Elaine did as she was told. She licked her lips in anticipation.

Susan spread her cunt lips with her hand. "You want to lick me, don't you?"

"Yes, Master."

Susan slid her index finger between the moist flaps of skin into herself. Elaine saw the finger get damper and damper as her new master plunged the finger into herself.

Susan moved her finger all around, moving with a fucking rhythm, her pussy making juicy sounds as she stuck it in. Elaine couldn't look away. Susan reached up with her other hand and began kneading her right tit. She felt ever closer to cumming, not wanting to stop. But she forced herself to. "OK, slave," she moaned as she dropped her hands to her sides. Make me cum. Lick your master's pussy!"

Elaine dove in, her hair spreading across Susan's thighs as she stuck her tongue into Susan's juicy depths. Elaine licked the pussy juice like a little girl eating a popsicle. She couldn't get enough.

Susan moaned as the slave's rough tongue slid over her cunt. She threaded her hands in Elaine's dark hair, pushing the smaller woman deeper into her. "Fuck me! Lick my cunt!"

Elaine grabbed Susan's ass, trying to get as much of her into her mouth as she could. She felt the blonde pussy hair tickle her nose as she continued to devour her master's twat.

Susan was close to cumming, and she knew nothing could stop it now. Elaine was now using her tongue as a cock, driving Susan over the edge. The master stiffened as the first waves of the orgasm hit. Her legs flailed as she felt wave after wave of pleasure shock her body.

"YESSSS!!!! "FUCK!!!!" Susan screamed as blast after blast of pussy juice squirted into Elaine's open mouth.

Susan felt like she was dying again as all her energy left her body as the orgasm faded. She didn't have the energy to move as Elaine kept licking her pussy, trying to savor every last drop of her juices.

"Have you ever fucked a woman before, slave?"

"Never, Master."

"Not bad for a beginner." Susan didn't want to let Elaine know that was the best pussy licking she had ever had. "As a reward, I'm going to let you cum now."

"Thank you, Master." Elaine jumped up eagerly.

Susan smiled. She wondered Elaine would be so eager if she knew what she had planned.

"Get on the bed, slave. I'll be right back."

Elaine jumped on the bed as Susan went into the bathroom. She emerged seconds later with a jar. Elaine was spread-eagle on the bed, expecting to have her cunt licked.

"Get on all fours, slave."


Susan slapped Elaine hard on the mouth. "I said, get on all fours, you bitch!"

Elaine whimpered as she obeyed.

"Don't forget your place, slave. You are here to serve me. You do what I say. And you will cum only when I want you to, and how I want you to."

Susan picked her purse up and pulled out a eight-inch cock- shaped vibrator. She took it everywhere she went. Especially since she and George had been going out, since George only had a five- inch dick.

Susan opened the jar of vasoline she had gotten from the bathroom and slicked up the plastic dick. "You know what I'm going to do, slave?"

"No?" Elaine whined, afraid to look up.

"I'm going to fuck you up the ass."

Elaine jumped up. "Now, wait. Fun is fun, but ..."

Susan dropped the dildo on the bed and slapped Elaine's ass repeatedly in a frenzy, driving the brunette down onto the mattress.

"Stop! Ow! Stop! Please, don't!" Elaine cried, trying to escape the stinging blows.

"Shut up! Sit still!" Susan was getting turned on as she saw Elaine's rounded white asscheeks turn red with pain. She sat on the smaller woman, pinning her to the bed.

Finally, Elaine quit struggling, but kept whimpering. "Don't do this to me. Pleeeease?"

Susan got off Elaine, moving behind her. "You've never been fucked up the ass, have you?"

Elaine shook her head.

Susan grabbed Elaine's hips and raised them until her ass was in the air. "Don't be afraid, my love."

Elaine wiped the tears from her eyes at Susan's unexpectedly gentle tone.

"I'll take your ass cherry gently, but I will fuck your ass," she said, firmly, like a teacher to a student. "From now on, you will do what I say, and if I say I'm going to fuck your ass, I will fuck your ass." She began to stroke Elaine's cunt with her hand, running two fingers along the outer lips and dipping into her damp honeypot.

Elaine began to breathe easier.

Susan then moved her face to Elaine's cunt as she began to rub some of the pussy juice around Elaine's virgin asshole.

The smaller woman began to moan, feeling the double sensations of Susan's talented tongue and the manipulations of her ass.

Susan then took the lubed-up dildo and began to stroke the entrance of Elaine's cunt with it. She slid the cock slowly into her slave. Elaine let out short breaths as the rod sank into her. Susan began easing her pussy-juice coated index finger into Elaine's ass at the same time.

Susan began moving the finger around, slowly loosening up Elaine's shitter.

Elaine was so focused on the cock in her pussy she didn't feel the finger in her ass as it went deeper and deeper. "Fuck me, Master," she cooed. "Fuuuck me with your cock. It's so haard."

When the finger in Elaine's ass slid out easily. Susan pulled the plastic cock from her grasping cunt, and placed the head at the tight shitter.

Elaine was too relaxed from the fucking to argue.

Susan began to push, and the dickhead popped inside, but went no deeper.

"Ooooo...don't! hurts!" Elaine begged.

"Shut up, slave!" Susan slapped Elaine's ass as she pushed harder and harder, sliding the dick in with short strokes.

"But I've never done that ..." she whimpered.

"Relax your ass muscles," Susan commanded through gritted teeth. "It'll go in easier if you just relax."

"Pleeeeease, stoooooop!" Elaine whined, trying desperately to unclench her ass muscles. She felt like a steel rod was being jammed up her butt.

Susan continued to push the dildo in, not paying attention to Elaine's cries. She was getting off on the sight of the plastic dick being swallowed by Elaine's unwilling ass. Finally, the dildo was in as far as it would go.

Elaine kept screaming and crying. She felt like she was about to be torn in two.

Feeling Elaine relax a little, Susan started thrusting, savagely raping the defenseless ass with glee. She shoved two fingers up Elaine's cunt, fucking her there in time with the dildo.

Elaine was still sobbing, and she felt the pain still, but it was being replaced by a different feeling. She had never felt so full in her life. She felt her orgasm starting to build.

"Fuck my ass! Deeper! Deeper! Ooooh, Master! Harder! Haaaaaarder!!!!!"

Susan attacked Elaine's asshole with glee, shoving it in faster and faster as Elaine humped back against the dildo. "I knew you'd love it, you slut. Fuck that cock!"

Then Elaine came in a blast of cum, coating Susan's hand. Elaine howled in pleasure as she was overcome with wave after wave of pure pleasure. She collapsed on the bed, half unconscious, with the dildo still sticking out her ass. Susan pulled it out, and lay next to Elaine. The smaller woman cuddled up next to Susan, sucking on her nipple like a baby.

"Good slave," Susan cooed.

The two were so satisfied they didn't hear the front door open. George walked into the bedroom.

"Oh, my God! Susan!"

"George," Susan said, coldly.

"George?" Elaine said, exhausted,

"Elaine?" George shouted. Then he saw that the two of them were naked, and had obviously fucked. "Oh my GOD!"

"George," Susan said, sitting up. "Get the fuck out of here."

"What? This is my apartment!"

"Not any more. I bought the building this morning and I'm throwing you out. That's what you get for leaving me for dead in that hospital, you jerk!"

"But ... but ..."

"Oh, and George," Elaine said, caressing Susan's breasts from behind, "I've already found a winner in the best fuck contest, so we don't need to fuck. I hope you'll understand."

"But ... but ..."

Elaine kissed Susan on the lips. "She's more man than you'll ever be."

Susan smiled. "Now get out of here before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing."

George's body slumped in defeat. He turned to go, then turned around. "You know, since you two are naked anyway, what say I take off my clothes and ..."

Susan picked up the phone next to the bed. "I'm calling the police ..."

George turned and ran.

Susan turned to her lover. "You guys had a best fuck contest?"

Elaine nodded.

"Boy, you guys are weird."

Re:Or rather ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633597)

Wow, Seinfeld erotic fanfiction? I guess I should not be surprised that it exists. This is way better than the coprophagia story.

Re:Or rather ... (2, Funny)

Oktober Sunset (838224) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634477)

He he he, that was the perfect text to test my new Text To Speech software with.

Re:Or rather ... (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633085)

Dogs were bred by humans, so no.

Re:Or rather ... (2, Informative)

xubu_caapn (1086401) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633199)

what a stupid point to make. we're comparing them to humans because, until this study was done, dogs have never been known to be able to do this. if there was a study showing humans being able to sniff assholes, then it would be "dog-like thought."

Well, kinda (3, Funny)

gerf (532474) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633219)

Previously it was thought that dogs could only catagorize other dogs or people by the tried and true butt sniffing technique. This experiment shows that dogs, possibly due to their proximity to human DNA, have evolved more advanced ways to perceive others.

It's hotly debated whether mosquitos have transferred blood and DNA from humans to dogs to give them this power, as there are many other methods of transmission. Needless to say, the Bird Flu has helped that process greatly among many other species, but it has yet to be shown that is has factored into the human-dog element.

As for the dog to human question you posed... Have you seen furries?

Re:Or rather ... (0)

hagnat (752654) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633513)

In Soviet Russia, Picture-sorting Humans show Dog-like thought

Re:Or rather ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633895)

Big fuckin' deal. My dog will such cock if he thinks a treat is coming. I mean, well, he probably would if presented with that option...He never has ...oh why don't you shut up....

So... (2, Insightful)

Schraegstrichpunkt (931443) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632903)

... the dogs are learning provide whatever results the higher-ups want them to provide, and are rewarded or punished accordingly?

Sounds like doing science for the U.S. government.

Re:So... (3, Interesting)

Z00L00K (682162) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633501)

Reminds me of a dog my friend had once - she was growing up with a cat as a companion and that resulted in a dog that sometimes behaved as a cat - sitting in the window still, sleeping at the top of the backrest of the sofa, even found in the bookcase.

Mind that this was a Border Collie [] . Even if she was small for her kind it caused some consternation among his friends seeing the dog in unfamiliar dog locations.

Cat behaviour in dogs (2, Interesting)

CustomDesigned (250089) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634937)

My dog growing up (a miniature collie) was raised by a cat who had lost her kittens (to the CO gas chamber). She used a litter box, or buried her business when relieving herself outside. She wouldn't go in lawns (too hard to dig), but looked for leaf or sand covered areas.

Whats the surprise? (5, Insightful)

Viol8 (599362) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632915)

Any animal that couldn't tell the difference between another animal and a rock or between different types of animals would soon become some carnivores dinner or fall off a cliff. Why would anyone (least of all supposedly intelligent researchers) find this ability to differentiate objects surprising? I'd imagine you'd probably have to go much further down the evolutionary tree to find an animal that couldn't do this.

Reproduce? (4, Insightful)

TheMeuge (645043) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633039)

Even better, any animal that can't distinguish between members of its own species and rocks, would probably have a hard time passing such stupidity on to the next generation, no?

Re:Reproduce? (2, Insightful)

kayditty (641006) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634991)

Yes, but can they do it by visual recognition alone (on a computer screen, no less)?

Re:Whats the surprise? (1, Insightful)

eonlabs (921625) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633279)

Along the same line of thought, have you noticed that after years of believing we're superior to all animals, we still can teach a dog to respond to english, but have little to no idea what they mean when they bark a certain way? Why not see if we could build a system that lets dogs teach what they're trying to say.

Re:Whats the surprise? (3, Insightful)

king-manic (409855) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633327)

Along the same line of thought, have you noticed that after years of believing we're superior to all animals, we still can teach a dog to respond to english, but have little to no idea what they mean when they bark a certain way? Why not see if we could build a system that lets dogs teach what they're trying to say.
Whimper -> sad about something
door scratch -> wants out to pee or poop
Tail wag -> contentment
angry barking -> fight or flight mechanism has gone towards the former
Excited barking -> Smells owner, food, mate, friend, or stranger
Romeo's balcony soliloquies with Juliet's -> You've done too much LSD, go lie down

It all varies depending on the temperament but if you've owned a dog it's fairly obvious what they're meaning. However it's likely ham fisted autistic wolf language. Like having a child raised without anyone to teach it to speak. Parentless Child or Dog develop it's own system of communication.

Speak for yourself... (2, Insightful)

Chmcginn (201645) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633335)

Along the same line of thought, have you noticed that after years of believing we're superior to all animals, we still can teach a dog to respond to english, but have little to no idea what they mean when they bark a certain way?
I know the difference between my dog's "somebody I don't know is in the yard", "Mommy is home!", and her "I have to pee!" barks.

Try with cats (2, Informative)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633373)

Try with cats. They can eventually teach you to respond to a word or two in their language ;)

Re:Try with cats (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633583)

Oh, that cat language, like when it says "oh hai, i upgraded yr ram" or "My Pokemons, let me show you them"

Re:Whats the surprise? (1)

plover (150551) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633575)

You mean like the BowLingual [] ?

It was really a toy implementation that tried to interpret dog barks as being one of six emotions: happy, sad, frustrated, on-guard, assertive and needy. And most dog owners can already identify them from the barks of their own dogs. For example, I can tell when my dogs think there's someone at the door, or if they want to play, or if they're mad at each other. (They also sometimes greet me at the door by howling "Hello!" when I get home, but I had to teach them that.)

I think before we get to recognizing the dog's voices, we've got a long way to go on voice recognition technology for humans. Today's implementations seem to fall into one of two categories: either end-user-training is required, or they have a very limited vocabulary specific to their problem's domain, such as digit entry, yes, no, and cancel. Even so, the no-training-required systems still have a hard time with accents, speed, and handicaps, and most voice-based IVRs still allow the users to fall back to DTMF entry from their number pads. "I can wreck a nice peach" is still far too common a result from this technology.

Re:Whats the surprise? (4, Insightful)

brusk (135896) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633439)

Partly, it's not differentiating OBJECTS, it's differentiating PICTURES of objects. That is actually a somewhat different skill.

Re:Whats the surprise? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633569)

True. But I'd be curious if, and from which level on, Animals see a difference between human artefacts and natural things.

Re:Whats the surprise? (2, Insightful)

Antho (982028) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633875)

Well animals rely on much more than physical static shape to distinguish things like other animals vs rocks. There are a whole array of senses to rely on and real visual cues like style of movement, speed, etc. that have to be taken into account. I think this actually interesting indicating that dogs can genuinely tell the difference between a static image of a landscape and a dog showing that based on just shape they can really tell the difference.

Not news, dogs are smart (4, Funny)

module0000 (882745) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632917)

Seeing eye dogs are more intelligent than the editor of this article.

Take that, Microsoft! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21632919)

At last! We've found a way to break Microsoft's new CAPTCHA! [] Who is better at telling a cat apart from a dog than a freaking DOG? Brilliant!

As a dog myself... (5, Funny)

explosivejared (1186049) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632927)

All I can say is finally! We are starting to break through the chains. We are a smart respectable species, one worthy of inclusion among the most intelligent of all. Now I know we have things to be ashamed of, like the toilet drinking, the vendettas against postal workers, the fetch syndrome, but we are working to improve ourselves. If we could just get a little help a long the way, we could make things so much better. This article is proof positive that we dogs are honorable. So please pay us respect as we pay you respect.

P.S. Thanks to all those who bow to their new photograph sorting, canine overlords, but it's really not necessary. We are a humble species and have no designs on taking over earth. Unless... a mailman should ever come into power, then of course we would have no recourse but violence. Until then, thank you but no thank you.

Re:As a dog myself... (1)

ucblockhead (63650) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633275)

Down boy! Sit!

What?!? (1)

throatmonster (147275) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632937)

Dogs can identify other dogs as dogs?!? OMG! What a mind-blowing revelation! OTOH, if you could get CATS to do that, I'd be impressed.

Re:What?!? (4, Funny)

Groggnrath (1089073) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633077)

OTOH, if you could get CATS to do that, I'd be impressed.

  OTOH if you could make a cat do anything, I'd be impressed.

Re:What?!? (1)

klingens (147173) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633175)

Ever been in a Circus where they have lions (with their tamer)?

Re:What?!? (1)

Groggnrath (1089073) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633265)

Ever been in a Circus where they have lions (with their tamer)?

Good point. However, try teaching a house cat to play fetch sometime. Or rollover, play dead, stay, sit on command, beg...

Done that (1)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633473)

However, try teaching a house cat to play fetch sometime. Or rollover, play dead, stay, sit on command, beg...

My brother taught our parents' cat to play fetch. She loved it, in fact.

It's a bit harder than teaching tricks to a dog, because, well, the cat doesn't have the reflex to try to please the alpha at all cost. Although stray cats do form packs, they hunt separately and being the alpha is more like "first advisor" than anything like a "master."

So, well, the whole trick is that you have to keep the cat's attention by other means. Making it all a game is a good start, for example, because cats love to play. (But also eventually have enough of it, so you have to know when to stop. You don't want it to turn into torture.) Various kinds of rewards also help.

Punishment doesn't work well with cats, and doubly so when trying to make them do something. As I was saying, being the alpha is more of a first among equals status. So punishing a cat won't make it try harder to please you, it'll just nuke all interest in whatever you're trying to make it do.

Re:Done that (1)

xouumalperxe (815707) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634447)

"First adviser"? You clearly never had several cats at home. The "pack" structure of cats is *very* hierarchical, and the hierarchy is *very* rigid. There's just no concept of "leader", or first advisor, or whatever. They're just bullies, really. It's more like "If I'm pissed off, I'll slap somebody around -- somebody less important than myself. Oh, and I get dibs on food too." My aunt usually has around 5 cats at home, and she often literally has episodes where she tells off the top dog... er... cat, who then pouts and slaps the second in line around a bit, who then pouts and slaps the third in command around a bit, etc. etc. They go down the pecking order, with the last guy just meowing in vague complaint at my aunt.

Point taken (1)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 6 years ago | (#21635049)

Point taken, and I probably didn't explain well enough. Bully or not, the alpha cat can't really make any other cat _do_ anything. He (or she) may call dibs on this and that, but that's about the whole extent of it.

Wolves (and therefore dogs) have the concept of "I must do this because the alpha wants me to". Unless you want to challenge the alpha for leadership, you follow the gang, go hunt when the alpha wants to go hunt, etc. And if the alpha is pissed off at you, your options are appease him or challenge for leadership. Outside of a certain age and/or extraordinary circumstances, they tend to go with the former. The "I'll just stay out of his way" way out doesn't really exist, because the pack is hard-coded to stay together.

Cats don't have that concept, and are more likely to take ways out like "I'll just stay out of his way" or "screw this, I'll go find another gang" if things just don't work out. That's what I'm trying to say.

Basically, you can teach a dog tricks with punishments. You can't teach a cat anything that way.

It doesn't mean that cats simply can't be trained at all, it just means that the ever popular macho-retard way of "I'll show him who's boss" doesn't work that way with cats. That's all.

Re:What?!? (1)

pjt33 (739471) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633309)

If you don't think that's impressive, why don't you jump in the ring and try it?

Re:What?!? (1)

rts008 (812749) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633563)

Yeah, ask Seigried how that worked out.

A picture worth a thousand words (1)

westlake (615356) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633877)

Dogs can identify other dogs as dogs?!? OMG! What a mind-blowing revelation!

A dog can find a dog in a two-dimensional landscape photograph.

In an experiment far removed from the ordinary way in which he experiences his world - and do it with no other sensory or behavioral cues.

That does not strike me as an insignificant achievement.

It would be interesting to know if a dog could recognize a painting of a dog, a sculpture, a cartoon or caricature.

Even more interesting, perhaps, if he could sort the results. Recognize different breeds of dogs. Recognize that one dog appears in several pictures.

Re:A picture worth a thousand words (1)

xouumalperxe (815707) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634497)

This is purely anecdotal, but my dogs (both of them), respond to dogs on TV (in a sense, the test they portrayed here), sometimes ramming against the TV paws first and barking at it, other times just staring intently. They also clearly identify at least some cartoon dogs (e.g, Scooby Doo), reacting in much the same way as with real dogs.

They also tend to react to other non-human animals on TV, with reactions varying dramatically with the species (they seem to have a fascination with bulls), and definitely can tell "humans" and "animals" apart on TV consistently. So this test doesn't come across as much of a surprise to me (though formal testing is always better than empirical or anecdotal evidence).

What about gender? (2, Funny)

Skapare (16644) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632941)

Now can the dogs determine the gender of the other dog ... without having to resort to sniffing the other dog's butt?

Re:What about gender? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633111)

Head "downtown" and you'll probably have the same problem.

Re:What about gender? (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633271)

Now can the dogs determine the gender of the other dog ... without having to resort to sniffing the other dog's butt?

They are also trying to figure out when and what the other dog ate. Unless your partner had a Burrito dinner or an onion & garlic sandwich, I bet you can't do the same.

They learn much faster (1)

iminplaya (723125) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632949)

if you punish them with tasers, right? That's how we treat humans anyway. It would be kinda nice if people were rewarded for being good instead. But punishment is a turn-on for authority figures. And it's cheaper. It's that power! Oh yeah!

Re:They learn much faster (1)

plover (150551) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633731)

Good boy. Good boy. Don't tase me, boy. Good boy.

Meta data! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21632973)

So they can be trained as Google's meta data creators - The Doogle powered by huffinpuffinsniffinclassifier!

Turing Test (0)

phantomcircuit (938963) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632979)

Ill read one of these studies when they can get a dog to pass the Turing test until then it's just trained repetition which is not human like at all. (no matter how much high school teachers believe it to be)

Re:Turing Test (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633145)

Dog must be first trained to give expected results using training images.
By showing new and different images, their ability to understand the contents and classify them can be demonstrated.

Re:Turing Test (2, Interesting)

Xtravar (725372) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633457)

until then it's just trained repetition which is not human like at all
I disagree. Isn't pretty much everything "trained repetition" when you think of it? Look at neural nets... they train... by repetition... to do something "intelligent".

There's not much difference between training a dog to recognize photos of dogs and training a human child to recognize Latin characters. The only difference between us and dogs is neural capacity, learning rules, and societal environment.

What studies like this one do is help us to further understand what those hard-wired rules in animals are, allowing us to get a better grasp of the big learning picture across all forms of life.

This is not news. (1) (1195047) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632995)

I thought the linked article was going to show us some sort of new insight into the canine cognitive mechanisms. Nope. The article goes into zero detail and basically makes a statement equivalent to: "Yep, we've confirmed dogs can tell the difference between other dogs and a stop sign." Wow. Given the fact that dogs are highly social animals, capable of complex coordinated behavior like hunting in packs, that's such a shocking new insight.

Don't waste your time clicking on the TFA.

Obvious. (4, Insightful)

SatanicPuppy (611928) | more than 6 years ago | (#21632999)

Of course they do. I'd go so far to say that most predators should show similar tendencies. We use our sight for a lot of things that the average mutt wouldn't use it's sight for, but at the most basic level, it has the exact same function for both of us. Predator/Prey identification, basic navigation, threat recognition and response.

The examples in the article are all "A dog can tell the difference between a landscape and a dog, even if the dog is on a landscape" which just shows that, like us, their eyes are drawn to the animal before the scenery. Classic response for an animal concerned with predator/prey responses. The mountains are nice, but you have to make sure of the animal first.

The main differences in visual perception would be dealing with stuff like ranging, depth perception, night-vision, day-vision, etc...All stuff to do with the actual hardware of the eye, not in the basic ability to distinguish between two similar objects.

This should be obvious from a dog's ability to tell one person from another. I've witnessed similar behavior in herbivores as well, so I'd not be surprised to find that they had the same sort of abilities, though it would be difficult to test.

Re:Horses know particular humans. (1)

bornwaysouth (1138751) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633367)

Can herbivores distinguish humans. Yes. Horses do it. They tend to have a one-on-one relationship with humans. Probably camels are similar.

I did think the news article was particularly bad. We have a pet bunny which thumps if a cat is nearby. Any cat, even new ones, any shadings. (Bunnies are colour blind.) So it has an abstract concept of a medium sized threat that it can afford to watch and warn. Birds, humans, trees, etc are ignored. The cat can be crouched behind a tree or moving, and at any angle. Programming that capacity into a computer would be a nasty problem.

The research might make sense if they worked for a TV company, and were working towards selling toys to rich owners. Then you get Negreponte to design a drool proof screen with chewable edges. Sell them in pairs, one for the owner.

Re:Obvious. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633475)

Of course you are right, my Satanic Puppy!

Here, take this bone...

Re:Obvious. (1)

TheMCP (121589) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633643)

A dog's ability to tell one person from another might be largely scent related and says little about how their visual sense works.

That said, I agree with you that this is obvious; it should be obvious to anyone who has ever owned a smart dog, like a border collie or maybe a german shepherd. I used to have a border collie, and his responses to most things were so incredibly human-like that it was very, very clear that he thought like a human in many ways. (Indeed, I think he thought he was human in many ways, but that's another story.) Also recently I've interacted a lot with my friend's german shepherd, a breed which is perhaps less human-like than the border collie but still very smart. We got me on iChat video conferencing once while the dog was in the room, and she clearly looked at me, understood it was me, obeyed commands from me and was pleased by praise from me.

Heck, I've had pet rabbits, and they could look in the mirror and it was obvious that they realized it was a reflection. We don't give animals enough credit for their intelligence.

Re:Obvious. (1)

ScentCone (795499) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633755)

The main differences in visual perception would be dealing with stuff like ranging, depth perception, night-vision, day-vision, etc

I think that sense-of-scale issue is definitely a weak spot for a lot of dogs. It's one of the reasons that very large dogs can sometimes react to very small dogs at an intermediate distance as they would to a very large dog at a greater distance. And anyone who's ever dealt with a terrier knows that they not only have no idea how small they are themselves, they have no appreciatation that they're about to lauch themselves at an English Mastiff that could squash it like a bug with one swat.

My own dogs definitely make their people and other-critter judgements based on body language. They react completely differently to distant figures - canine or primate - that appear to be skulking or looking furtive. They have excellent radar, that way.

In other news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633025) scientists have found a new tool in the fight against image spam which runs on dog biscuits.

Birds (5, Interesting)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633031)

I saw a show on a Discovery-like channel in which during WW2 they successfully trained birds to recognize different makes of vessels and peck a steering panel in the right direction. They were trying to build a guided bomb. I don't remember why they canceled the program, but it was not due to the bird's skills.

Birds rely heavily on their eyesight to find or distinguish food and prey. Thus, they may be as good or better than dogs, who use mostly hearing and smell. Plus, dogs are partly color blind.

Virtually the same experiment... (2, Interesting)

Ieshan (409693) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633333)

The project to which you are referring was the work of Skinner, and called Project Pigeon. It was canceled.

On the other hand, virtually the same experiment as the one conducted with dogs was conducted with pigeons, in 1964, by Herrnstein and Loveland. So, someone beat you to it. =)

Re:Virtually the same experiment... (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633629)

According the the Wikipedia article on "Project Pigeon", it was canceled because the military thought it was too weird.

Re:Birds (1)

StarfishOne (756076) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633427)

For those who like trivia, this project was honored in the form of the 'Homing Pigeon' weapon in the game 'Worms'. ;P

Of course they found this in Dogs .. (1)

OzPeter (195038) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633047)

.. Cats refused to take the tests.

Re:Of course they found this in Dogs .. (1)

StarfishOne (756076) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633493)

Everybody knows that cats have evolved to a level at which they obviously don't have to prove themselves anymore.

It's common knowledge that dogs have owners and that cats have servants... next to the fact that one always have to move the cat to get the best place in a given location.

The amount of evidence is stunning: [] [] [] [] []

Not My Dog... (2, Funny)

acvh (120205) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633053)

...can't tell the difference between a dog and your leg.

Again, As a Dog Myself... (3, Funny)

explosivejared (1186049) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633139)

I apologize for that behavior hiccup. It's just hard sometimes to control ourselves. Blame evolution not us. Your leg probably just looks "appetizing." I would suggest wearing wiskers on your pants leg or painting a picture of a rolled up newspaper on your pants leg. Either of those should alleviate the problem. Alternatively, you could try being the bigger person and speak to your dog, but I understand the deserved apprehension you might have about this.

I hope this has helped. BTW, I'm working on a gpl'ed evolutionary firmware update that moves the urge in question from the leg to the shoe, as this is less disturbing. I've tried to get rid of the trait altogether, but it's tough. A lot of the code is proprietary, and well God just doesn't like to give the darn stuff up. We're working on it though. Link to our project

Re:Not My Dog... (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633295)

...can't tell the difference between a dog and your leg.

Take away your porn, and I'll bet you'll act similarly.

Who's paying for this? (0, Troll)

thethibs (882667) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633081)

One hopes that "Friederike Range at the University of Vienna" lives at the University of Vienna—with his parents—who subsequently helped him understand the difference between research and parlour tricks. If not, standards at European universities must be a great deal lower than we've been told.

Without any training at all, my dog can recognise other dogs on TV, though she gives a little bark rather than pushing a switch with her paw. I'm going to guess that it has more to do with being a pack animal than any kind of "reasoning ability".

Anyone suspect Friedrike is a member of PITA?

Apt Typo (1)

R2.0 (532027) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633221)

"Anyone suspect Friedrike is a member of PITA?"

While I'm sure Friederike is indeed a Pain In The Ass, I didn't think membership in a society was required.

Very apropos typo.

Re:Who's paying for this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633751)

One hopes that "Friederike Range at the University of Vienna" lives at the University of Vienna - with his parents - who subsequently helped him understand the difference between research and parlour tricks.

It may be of no importance to the subject, but I can't help but point out that "Friederike" is a girl's name. It's actually the female version of "Friedrich".

Also in the news (1)

g-san (93038) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633119)

Google Images engineers were swarming Silicon Valley pet stores today, buying every puppy they could find.

Your dog wants steak (n/t) (1)

ibbie (647332) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633131)


Seems to be some naivete in the responses (2, Informative)

smchris (464899) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633163)

We need more semiotics taught in the schools.

The animals weren't responding to other dogs and landscapes. They were responding to _photographs_ of dogs and landscapes. And dealing with them accordingly.

Do not confuse the finger with the moon, Grasshopper.

Re:Seems to be some naivete in the responses (1)

Tony Hoyle (11698) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633729)

Dogs commonly respond to other dogs on TV. Any dog owner will have seen it.

It's just not news, and didn't need any 'research' to discover it.

Whether they can tell the difference between a photograph and the real thing is another question. I'm betting they're just hardwired to recognize 'dog shape'.

Are they any good at Poker? (2, Funny)

davidwr (791652) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633173)

Just asking [] .

Let's put this to good use now (1)

PFritz21 (766949) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633211)

Now I can teach my dog to sort my pr0n collection... :D

Re:Let's put this to good use now (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633989)

In the study, they differenciated DOGS from backgrounds.... I don't want to know what kind of porn you have!

I see an application here (1)

barakn (641218) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633217)

Maybe we can get dogs to scan the surveillance images from the 2008 Olympics. Surely it would be cheaper than IBM's Smart Surveillance System [] . Heck, I know a dog that will work 20 minutes just to lick the crumbs off someone's face.

It's pretty strange.. (2, Interesting)

Bones3D_mac (324952) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633255)

Up until very recently, I always thought of dogs as generally being playful but incredibly stupid animals outside of spirit-breaking intensive training... at least, until we just got our recent dog, a pit bull/boxer mix. Unlike most dogs I've owned over the years, this one isthe first I known to preemptively develop strategies on the fly under ever-changing conditions. (In other words, she doesn't do the whole "repeat the same process over and over expecting a different result each time" thing.)

For example, take a piece of food being dropped on the floor just out of her reach behind a barrier. Most dogs would simply shove their snout under the barrier and root at it with their tongue for hours. With this dog though, she only did the snout rooting thing once, stopped, reached under the barrier with her paws trying to grip the food, stopped and finally removed the barrier itself to get at the food.

In my previous experience, only a cat would have ever made it to step 2.

Needless to say, the dog is now quite an escape artist, having deciphered how to use doors, removing collars like houdini and bypassing six foot tall chain-link fences.

Re:It's pretty strange.. (4, Interesting)

Scamwise (174654) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633345)

We had a dog capable of opening all sorts of doors, he could even open the back door against the swing, ie: turn the handle and pull the door towards himself.
He also used to get agitated if you wore a hat because he couldn't recognise you if you did, he would even bark at my uncle if he was wearing a hat and stop immediately if he removed it.
Having been a building site dog he developed a strange habit of barking when you called "FIRING!" which they used to do before anyone used a nail gun, he would as a result bark on demand any time any place, quite an amusing party trick.
He also used to have what can only be described as a guilty look that he would give you when he had done something wrong, sometimes he would even give the look before doing something wrong and then go and do it!
All in all I think we are not giving dogs nearly enough credit on the smarts front.

Re:It's pretty strange.. (1)

Tony Hoyle (11698) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633759)

A friend of mine has a dog that can open the fridge, find the meat on the top shelf, grab it and eat it - without making enough noise to alert her of the impending loss of lunch.

Dogs are smart.

Re:It's pretty strange.. (1)

Bones3D_mac (324952) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633845)

Wow, I completely forgot about it until you mentioned it just now, but I can absolutely confirm the hat thing with our dog as well. A relative of mine entered our house one time wearing a large cowboy style hat and the dog's demeanor instantly changed. Luckily, the demeaner was defensive, rather than offensive, but I sure wouldn't have wanted to see them trying to approach the dog next to a wall. Without the hat though, the attitude of the dog went back to completely normal.

Similarly, she also does the "trying to be non-chalant" thing after doing something she knows she shouldn't have. (Especially avoiding eye contact whenever possible.)

In the meanwhile, I have had cats with dog-like traits in the past. For example, cats that have siamese traits, such as the snowshoe, are a lot more likely to play "fox and hound" style games with humans (both fox and hound positions) where most other breeds tend to prefer very little human interaction unless they initiate it themselves. Cats with siamese traits also tend to be a lot less snooty (despite Disney-esque depictions to the contrary), but far more vocal about everything... not unlike a lot of dogs.

Re:It's pretty strange.. (4, Funny)

plover (150551) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633871)

My friend's dog outsmarted his mother. She was making a sandwich in the kitchen, and the dog wanted the sandwich in the worst way. He finally ran to the out-of-sight front door, barking like there was someone approaching. When she went to investigate, the dog circled back into the kitchen from the other way and stole the sandwich from the countertop.

So there's a dog who demonstrated an understanding of strategy, tactics, and deception. He lured her away from the food under false pretenses. He knew the back route into the kitchen was unguarded. Most importantly, he put a multi-step plan together in his little canine brain before executing it.

Humans don't have a monopoly on thought. We just have all the components of intelligence wrapped up in a meat package that can orchestrate them. If that dog had had opposable thumbs, there's no telling where it would have stopped!

Re:It's pretty strange.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21634975)

Strewth - your friend's dog's mother can make sandwiches!? That beats recognising dogs in landscapes any day.

Re:It's pretty strange.. (1)

Johnboi Waltune (462501) | more than 6 years ago | (#21635065)

I think you are inferring too much from the dog's behavior. Another possible explanation is that the dog was distracted from the sandwich by a noise at the front door, and then returned to the kitchen to continue begging for the sandwich, only to find it was unguarded -- a happy coincidence from his point of view. Your story doesn't prove the dog predicted the woman's behavior at all.

I'm not sure why this is a surprise... (1)

coolhaus (186994) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633263)

...we already know that they have exhibited the ability to distinguish images on paper while playing poker.

Too bad the wagging tail is a dead giveaway tell.

linux? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21633337)

still for fags

meh (0, Offtopic)

Snoobic (1200681) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633381)

I, for one, welcome our four legged canine overlords.

I, for one... (1)

Conanymous Award (597667) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633411)

...welcome our new picture-sorting, human-like thought showing canine overlords.

To hell with iPhoto etc., these doggies help us to rid ourselves of one massive problem: those countless digital photographs we never have time to browse through! We might finally get some printed on paper!

Just think of the outsourcing potential! (1)

TheNarrator (200498) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633441)

Flash! New barking to English translator heralds new era in call center outsourcing!

All your dogs are belong to us! (1)

tehniobium (1042240) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633943)

If for one welcome our new dog overlords...

Or how about:

Now imagine a beowulf cluster of them...

At least I think I'm funny :)

Re:All your dogs are belong to us! (1)

ShadowOfMe (919646) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634063)

shouldn't that be a beowoof cluster?

Re:All your dogs are belong to us! (1)

tehniobium (1042240) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634323)


Now that actually was funny :P

In other news (1)

ShadowOfMe (919646) | more than 6 years ago | (#21633997)

Scientist teach new trick to an old dog. Wow!

eh - cats are smarter. (1)

Ralph Spoilsport (673134) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634071)

Here kitty kitty - wanna play a game? No? You want to snooze? OK. So do I, but we have this experiment to do, and oh. I see you're not interested in my experiment. Am I that boring you're just going to sit there and lick your butt? don't you understand THIS IS SCIENCE??? PAY ATTENTION! Oh. FINE! Be that way! Wander off to the kitchen - see if I CARE!!! Oh, and now you want some food. OK. Fine, you furry pest. Here. Eat. but after this, you have to do the experiment, OK??? Fine you're done? OK - hey come back here you! No no no - you're not going to loll about looking cute and stuff at me like that. OK - I'll give you some scritches behind the ear, and on your tummy, but only if you do the experiment. OK - is that good enough? Enough scritches? Now - hey - you can't go to sleep on me! We have work to do!!! OK, fine. I'll just get the dog to do it. He's stupid enough to go along with anything I say...

Dogs think they are stupid little people. Cats think people are big stupid cats.

Dogs have Masters. Cats have Staff...


It's not just recognizing dogs from other things. (1)

BrianRagle (1016523) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634155)

What appears to have been missed in all the comments here is that this wasn't just dogs recognizing other dogs. Dogs, as a whole, use far more of their senses than we do to gather information about themselves and other individuals. The dogs in question were being shown flat, 2D images of dogs. We have all probably seen dogs react to movement or sound on television, as if they understood the image they were seeing minus the smells of the thing. This was a static image, no sound, and no smell. How it is human-like is that they can fall back to just eyes alone, instead of the sense-rich environment they normally operate within. They don't even need movement to separate the image from the background and, further still, can repeatedly show aptitude in categorizing these images.

Half full or half empty (1)

yusing (216625) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634341)

Wow. A study proving that dogs can discriminate between things and make decisions.
No doubt owners of sheep-herding dogs everywhere will be greatly relieved.

Good thing for all these science-fair-level studies that most of the important problems are already solved.

Pleasure :) (1)

sh3l1 (981741) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634351)

So then, how come dogs still hump human legs if they can tell the difference?

Not surprising (1)

Gorimek (61128) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634547)

It's well known outside the scientific community that all men are dogs, and all women are bitches, so the similarities are to be expected.

Yet another example of taxpayer money wasted on rediscovering the obvious.

Of course dogs can recognize other dogs (1)

Jonesy69 (904924) | more than 6 years ago | (#21634847)

I have a 3 year old Lab/Pit mix. When he was a puppy he used to charge the TV snarling and barking if another dog showed up on the set.

He would sniff the air and not pickup their scent which would calm him somewhat. It was still fun to watch him try to 'defend' his territory against the invaders.

The interesting thing was, that he would cease barking and putting on a show the moment the channel changed to something that was less threatining to him.
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