Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Apple Lawyering Up On "Fake Steve Jobs"

kdawson posted more than 6 years ago | from the end-of-the-blog-as-we-know-it dept.

Censorship 346

An anonymous reader sends us to The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs for a developing situation. Daniel Lyons, a.k.a. Fake Steve Jobs, made a post earlier today revealing that Apple was offering him some money (in the wake of the ThinkSecret shutdown) to close down his blog. He said he was interested in taking it. A few hours later, Lyons posted again revealing that Apple's lawyers had contacted him angrily, saying the details of the deal were supposed to remain private. Fake Steve replied 'we either deal out in the open, completely transparently, or we don't deal.' A third post gives details of Apple's lawyers' next response, going totally medieval on him. Since then the situation has calmed down a bit.

cancel ×

346 comments

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

I really think it might be a good idea ... (5, Funny)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795040)

to boil a few of those kinds of attorneys in oil, just as a warning to others.

It's also possible that fake Steve is being... fak (5, Insightful)

Markintosh (883912) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795070)

It could just be a satirical fiction based around the ThinkSecret situation.

Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (5, Informative)

Jugalator (259273) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795178)

It is. [blogspot.com]

Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (1)

macsimcon (682390) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795384)

I too wrote Steve, and he emailed me the same thing: I think this is a joke. I can only imagine how many people are emailing him about this. Given his nature, I have to believe he knows that Apple's legal department and representatives aren't involved.

Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (4, Insightful)

ceoyoyo (59147) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795594)

I think Fake Steve Jobs has stepped over the line from hilarious satire to nasty slander. Libel? Whichever.

If it's a joke, which it appears to be, I think Apple would be completely justified in going after him.

Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795662)

Even so, I see no reason to sympathise this guy in any way.. why should we even bother? I hope he spends a lot of money for legal fees.

Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (1)

NickCatal (865805) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795202)

Indeed... as you read his other posts in recent days he goes into the ThinkSecret takedown and how he thinks it is BS. This could easily be his way of fucking with Apple over what a lot of people see as total BS in the ThinkSecret 'settlement'

Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (5, Funny)

RHSC (1019802) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795086)

While anything tastes good deep fried, fried lawyers would be pushing the limits of the medium

Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (5, Funny)

shaggy43 (21472) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795358)

If you wrap it in bacon first, *anything* goes down smoothly.

Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (-1, Flamebait)

dwater (72834) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795706)

If you wrap it in bacon first, *anything* goes down smoothly.
Especially that horrible excuse for bacon you get in the US which is mostly fat. Quite a good lubricant, I'm sure.

Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (1)

palegray.net (1195047) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795442)

Apple: Think Lawsuit

TIME FOR GAS CHAMBER (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795614)

For da jew lawyers! SIEG HEIL!

Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795688)

If I got a letter from a lawyer and they specifically threatened my children's college funds, I would hunt them down and kill them. Motherfucker, the kids didn't bother anybody. Leave their future out of this. Fucking faggot vultures. I hope all of you burn in Hell.

Crazy days ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795052)

Apple seems on a crazy roll, after the SinkThekrit mess. BTW, Dan Lyons is incredibly funny. Check out his Google appearance via UTube:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rLpxX9vqr5c [youtube.com]

and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795054)

I don't get why Apple bothers with this. If they bribe this guy to shut down, they have to bribe the next guy who startsup a blog about apple secrets, and the next guy, and the next guy. Do they think these people have super powers and once they're gone, their secrets are safe?

Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (1, Interesting)

Cheerio Boy (82178) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795102)

I don't get why Apple bothers with this. If they bribe this guy to shut down, they have to bribe the next guy who startsup a blog about apple secrets, and the next guy, and the next guy. Do they think these people have super powers and once they're gone, their secrets are safe?
I do believe you've not only described the results of paying off people who blackmail others but have also given us a new business model to pursue...

TIme to start up an "Apple Secretz" blog. ;-)

Regardless, what Apple is doing is not very bright in my opinion. Parody is still fairly well protected despite the best efforts of big business/government to remove that protection and it says FAKE right in the title...

Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (2, Insightful)

hedwards (940851) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795386)

Regardless, what Apple is doing is not very bright in my opinion. Parody is still fairly well protected despite the best efforts of big business/government to remove that protection and it says FAKE right in the title...
Yes, but that's not why it's stupid. It's stupid because Apple has long tried to market itself as different than MS, more progressive than MS, and honestly, until relatively recently they've done a damn fine job of it. But each time they choose to do this sort of thing, like the iphones only for credit card, putting off the next version of OSX for the iphone, threatening to brick the unlocked iphones then bricking them along with the still locked ones and now trying to shut down fake Steve Jobs in a questionable (at best) way, they lose a bit of good will, and they run the risk of further alienating the core faithful that kept them in business even during that period where they're computers weren't as good as the competition.

So, yes this being a parody does factor into it, but mainly because Mac users expect that Apple will respect the creativity of its user base and the whole industry around it.

Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (0)

Cheerio Boy (82178) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795430)

Regardless, what Apple is doing is not very bright in my opinion. Parody is still fairly well protected despite the best efforts of big business/government to remove that protection and it says FAKE right in the title...
Yes, but that's not why it's stupid. It's stupid because Apple has long tried to market itself as different than MS, more progressive than MS, and honestly, until relatively recently they've done a damn fine job of it. But each time they choose to do this sort of thing, like the iphones only for credit card, putting off the next version of OSX for the iphone, threatening to brick the unlocked iphones then bricking them along with the still locked ones and now trying to shut down fake Steve Jobs in a questionable (at best) way, they lose a bit of good will, and they run the risk of further alienating the core faithful that kept them in business even during that period where they're computers weren't as good as the competition.

So, yes this being a parody does factor into it, but mainly because Mac users expect that Apple will respect the creativity of its user base and the whole industry around it.
Indeed. There's no arguing that Apple is shooting itself in the foot with things like this. And frankly it's been going on too long for me to discount it as one "hand" in the company not knowing what the "other hand" is doing.

I'll continue to use Apple products because quite frankly they seem quite a few steps up from all the misc. generic/brand name PC stuff I've used over the years. This current snafu doesn't phase me really.

But if they keep doing this whole "foot shooting" thing then it's conceivable that they could end up in the iCrapper and have to produce the same horrible PC hardware as everybody else just to survive. And in my opinion that would be a damn shame and a waste of what is a pretty good company overall.

Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (2, Interesting)

omeomi (675045) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795482)

Well, they did recently make a little girl cry [engadget.com]

Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795148)

If they bribe this guy to shut down, they have to bribe the next guy...
Well now. I could use some extra cash! Let's see what kind of nifty domain names are available...

Here's an idea, what if all us Slashdetters each start a Fake Steve Jobs blog...

god (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795060)

apple seems WORSE than other companies when it comes to this legal bullshit

thats enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!

Re:god (0, Troll)

TheRealZeus (1172755) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795170)

its shameful how many ppl ignore apple's track record with drm/ hardware+software lockin/ and other legal issues and continue to bash m$ for being evil

Re:god (3, Funny)

commodoresloat (172735) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795262)

apple seems WORSE than other companies when it comes to this legal bullshit

thats enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!
yeah, me too!!

At least, until the iPhone comes out in lime green...

Re:god (1)

ClamIAm (926466) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795446)

[This legal bullshit is] enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!

I agree. Whenever any Apple-using friends of mine trot out the line that "Apple is a better company than Microsoft", I just point out stuff like this. And the fact that they use DRM to maintain vendor lock-in. Et cetera.

Re:god (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795578)

So if I started a Fake Bill Gates blog and made up crap like this about Microsoft lawyers, would you boycott Microsoft? If I started Fake Linus Torvalds and pretended to make kernel devs look like assholes, would you boycott Linux?

Actually, scratch that. Linux kernel devs *do* look like assholes.

I do think it's kind of cool that one unsubstantiated blog rumor can make it to the front page of slashdot, and then get people to swear off buying products from a company. I hope that the small company I'm working at will someday be as loved/hated as that!

sounds like some laws must have been broken (4, Interesting)

wakim1618 (579135) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795072)

Apple's lawyers threatened the welfare of the guy and his family and proceeded to list his assets and their value:

Their lists includes my home address, most recent assessed value of my house and all the information about my mortgage; a rental property that we own; my bank accounts and investment accounts, including the college funds for our kids, whose names are used; and our boat and two cars.

Aren't US Banks and financial institutions legally obligated to protect your private information such as the terms of your mortgage and the details of your bank and investment accounts?

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795124)

In my state, there's something called (I believe) a "Motion for Discovery of Assets". Something like that, anyway, but lawyers can pretty much find out whatever they want, although I think there has to be some judicial oversight. Dunno though ... any lawyers out there want to comment?

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (3, Informative)

jamar0303 (896820) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795180)

I believe that Apple will back down rather quickly now. The Reality Distortion Field can't be so strong that people won't notice Apple essentially stalking this guy... right?

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (2, Insightful)

rwven (663186) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795510)

Apple legal is just a mini implementation of the Microsoft version. 99% chance of having no clue what they're talking about, but a 100% chance of making jackasses out of themselves in the process of pursuing their so-called goals.

People really started hating MS when they started this same stuff so Apple shouldn't for a second think they're somehow immune to that same wide-spread hate. I use apple products because I like them, but I'm not going to kid myself and think they're somehow "thinking different" in any aspect but product-design.

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (1)

qinjuehang (1195139) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795630)

I quite agree. I always Apple more than Microsoft, because they appeared to have less of such lawsuits, or I should say bribes, but this is quite outrageous I would say. I say the entire semiconductor industry should sue Moore now for discovering Moore's law, because it should not be known at that time...call it a trade secret?

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (1)

maeka (518272) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795274)

Aren't US Banks and financial institutions legally obligated to protect your private information such as the terms of your mortgage and the details of your bank and investment accounts?

In most (all?) states, mortgages (every last page of them) are public records and filed at the court house, as are any other liens against your real property.

Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (1)

WestCoastJTF (1192081) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795324)

This information was likely gleaned from simple sources:
  • His address is probably trivial to get if you know his name. From there, there are a zillion web sites that will tell you the estimated value of your house, what houses around you have sold for, etc. All real estates are public, so it's not hard to figure out anything about his house.
  • You can buy marketing information, which likely will give them enough information to compute things the DMV would know, like cars and boats.
  • I would guess his credit report would provide the rest. I don't know if you need a credit application to run a credit report.
My guess is they simply called some private investigator who cranks these sorts of reports out all day long.

Fake? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795074)

I cant help thinking the "lawyer threats" are fake, considering this dirt [dwarfurl.com] [stanford.edu] dug up by a stanford student

Re:Fake? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795108)

I found a related story just the other day... [dwarfurl.com] [harvard.edu]

Parent is spam. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795150)

Link is not as advertized.

Re:Fake? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795176)

Oh go away you fucking link spamming myminicity troll!

Re:Fake? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795196)

Fuck you, your mother, your father, and all of your ancestors since the dawn of time. Get a life, asshat.

Re:Fake? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795390)

Waste some more mod points on this, you analized nazi jew fuck-wits!

Re:Fake? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795218)

I dunno about that story you linked. From reading it, it looks just as likely that the apple laywer is trying to discredit the fake Steve Jobs.

I'm just glad... (3, Insightful)

Enderandrew (866215) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795082)

I'm just glad that Apple isn't a big secretive powerful corporation that threatens to sue small people, pushes DRM, or anything evil like that.

I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.

Re:I'm just glad... (3, Interesting)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795160)

I agree. Apple sells popular products. The idea that they're somehow a better corporate citizen than any other, simply because they're popular, is sort of naive. That Apple has attack lawyers on staff, and is more than willing to use them, is readily apparent.

Re:I'm just glad... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795338)

Maybe it is they are often compared with Micro$oft, which most Slashdotters consider to be the ultimate evil empire(tm)

Re:I'm just glad... (1)

Embedded2004 (789698) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795440)

Is there a company more evil than Apple?

If I had to come up with rankings it would probably be something like

1. Apple
2. Microsoft
3. Sony

Even Microsoft doesn't do this bullshit.

Re:I'm just glad... (2, Interesting)

Namlak (850746) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795550)

I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.
I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the zealots who insist religion/sports team/celebrity is the greatest religion/sports team/celebrity of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that religion/sports team/celebrity is a religion/sports team/celebrity (for better or worse) on par with most religions/sports teams/celebrities.

Fixed that for you.

Re:I'm just glad... (1)

Penguinisto (415985) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795648)

Apparently, YHBT by Dan 'SCO Shill' Lyons. HAND. /P

Control? (4, Insightful)

pdbaby (609052) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795088)

I'm always confused by Apple on matters like this; a lot of these people are key in building & maintaining hype in Apple products. If Apple (apple legal?) had their way, it seems like there'd be... well... Apple.com and a few keynotes every year as the only way people would learn details of (and think of?) new products.

I'm a big Apple fan & I love their approach of using/contributing to open source software where it makes sense to improve their products - but their marketing and PR people seem at odds with their engineering attitude (especially with their solution-oriented attitude recently with iPhone, Apple TV compared to their key skill as a superb platform (NB. this point was blatantly stolen from Wil Shipley's blog)). I know PR people think about things completely differently from engineers but you'd think that was a company attitude, not just with the people making the magic

Re:Control? (1)

explosivejared (1186049) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795110)

That's how it has always been. MBA's and lawyers are the company's greatest weakness. They are the cause of the downfall of the company in the 80's. If Apple isn't careful, they will just turn into another abusive corporation sucking money from it's customers rather than providing innovative technology.

Re:Control? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795152)

If Apple (apple legal?) had their way, it seems like there'd be... well... Apple.com and a few keynotes every year as the only way people would learn details of (and think of?) new products
And how would that be different from the way things are now? The rumor sites and all other reports are based on pure speculation. The rate at which they predict correctly is basically no better than random chance. The sole exception to this that I can remember in well over a decade of Apple-watching is the New York Times scooping the switch to Intel CPUs. Aside from that, as far as I can tell Apple does have their way, and there is basically no way to find out about Apple products in advance unless they tell you themselves.

Actionable Items (3, Insightful)

Enderandrew (866215) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795096)

From the article: ...he feels it is his duty to inform me that Apple's lawyers have identified at least three posts in my archive that they "deem to be actionable."

Since when was parody actionable?

Re:Actionable Items (1)

The Second Horseman (121958) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795588)

When they can bankrupt you simply with legal fees, hoping you cave before you eventually win? Always. Often, when I see stuff like this, I suspect that someone in legal got carried away. Not Apple - it seems like this sort of thing must actually bother Jobs and the executives. This person or site ruined their little PR event, or that one made fun of him. It's just sad. Does he actually throw tantrums like a 3-year-old, or does he just put up with toadies who do this crap on his behalf?

Guys... It's probably a joke. (5, Informative)

Jugalator (259273) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795118)

Read the comments on the "I'm feeling a bit better" page.

One from the real Steve Jobs:

Joel said...

        RSJ just responded to my email, saying, "I think this is a joke."

        I'm a bit annoyed by this, since I was defending you, and now look something of a fool.
And another who had mailed the same:

Diogenes said...
I wrote a bit of an inflammatory email to sjobs@apple.com, and actually got a response.
Here is the text of the conversation (read bottom to top, of course) ...

I think this is all a joke. And I think you fell for it.
Steve

On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:35 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm not sure who I've reached here, but in the interest of finishing what you start, this is what I'm referring to:
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/thanks-for-your-support.html [blogspot.com]

On Dec 22, 2007, at 5:29 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:
What, praytell, are you talking about?

On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:01 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm an admitted Apple fanboy, but I can't say I admire this. I would have thought you all would have appreciated the affectionate satire rather than being unaccountable assholes.
Gary Baldwin
The amazing part to me here is that Steve Jobs is replying to mails in person. With a short delay, at a Christmas-y time like December 22nd...

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795260)


The amazing part to me here is that Steve Jobs is replying to mails in person. With a short delay, at a Christmas-y time like December 22nd...


Folks getting their panties in a bunch over the fake Steve Jobs ... pulling a prank! That is fairly amazing too.

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (3, Interesting)

ravenspear (756059) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795264)

It's well known that all mail to sjobs@apple.com is handled by a team of secretaries and few messages sent there are ever read by Steve. I have written one or two emails there myself expressing my opinion on certain Apple policies at times and have gotten responses as well. The responses are signed Steve but they are most likely not from him.

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (4, Interesting)

jcr (53032) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795448)

It's well known that all mail to sjobs@apple.com is handled by a team of secretaries and few messages sent there are ever read by Steve.

You are mistaken. Steve reads his mail, and has been known to rebuke Apple VPs who don't. It's Bill Gates who has the team of flacks to filter his mail for him.

-jcr

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795376)

> The amazing part to me here is that Steve Jobs is replying to mails in person. With a short delay, at a Christmas-y time like December 22nd...

The amazing part to me is that people actually believe Steve Jobs is answering mail in person from some nobody at sjobs@apple.com. That address must receive at least a couple of hundred thousand emails per day. (FWIW, some years ago Bill Gates mentioned he gets about 4 million emails a day.)

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (1)

jcr (53032) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795428)

The amazing part to me here is that Steve Jobs is replying to mails in person

Steve reads his mail. I know this from direct personal experience.

-jcr

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (1)

concernedadmin (1054160) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795452)

Anecdotal evidence or do you have something more substantial?

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (4, Interesting)

jcr (53032) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795498)

I've written to him on several occasions over the years, before, during, and after the time that I worked at Apple. To date, I've gotten replies from him on four occasions, including his message tonight regarding this joke by FSJ.

-jcr

Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795620)

The amazing part to me here is that you actually believe Steve Jobs answers his email personally.

a joke? (2, Interesting)

clragon (923326) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795128)

I was just reading the comments in the last link [blogspot.com] and found a comment made by blogger Diogenes:

I wrote a bit of an inflammatory email to sjobs@apple.com, and actually got a response.

Here is the text of the conversation (read bottom to top, of course) ...

I think this is all a joke. And I think you fell for it.

Steve

On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:35 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:

I'm not sure who I've reached here, but in the interest of finishing what you start, this is what I'm referring to:

http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/thanks-for-your-support.html [blogspot.com]

On Dec 22, 2007, at 5:29 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:

What, praytell, are you talking about?

On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:01 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:

I'm an admitted Apple fanboy, but I can't say I admire this. I would have thought you all would have appreciated the affectionate satire rather than being unaccountable assholes.

Gary Baldwin

I really do hope this is a joke, Apple doesn't have much to gain pulling a stunt like this...

Re:a joke? (2, Insightful)

schon (31600) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795206)

I really do hope this is a joke
C'mon - this is Dan Lyons here. It's obviously a hoax, not a joke.

Seriously, read some of his ramblings about the SCOX saga. He's a paid shill.

mnb Re:a joke? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795310)

Steve is a top poster?

Re:mnb Re:a joke? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795490)

Thanks for the laugh, but yeah, top posting is the only way to go no matter what the other email fascists will tell you.

Simple solution (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795144)

Sue them for invasion of privacy and illegally obtaining private information.

Some of the info they got can't be had without a court order.

Maybe throw in threatning the guy too. See if you can get some laywers a little jailtime.

Someday... (1)

Toonol (1057698) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795192)

Apple has gotten a free ride in a lot of ways. Much of what they do is so slick, it obfuscates the heavy-handed control they strive for.

But Apple loves their lawyers and relishes their litigation. And I predict that soon they will go too far, and when they do they will experience a backlash that makes Sony hate seem like mild annoyance. The greater the love lost, the greater the hate that remains.

And people say Microsoft is evil? (0)

DAldredge (2353) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795210)

"This is followed by a recommendation that I retain an attorney to represent me. And then, I swear to friggin God, there's a list of my assets with an estimated value for each and I suppose the implied threat that I stand to lose them. Yet Microsoft is the Antichrist and Apple is the good guy. *Bangs head against wall yet again*

Re:And people say Microsoft is evil? (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795236)

Well, Microsoft is the Antichrist but I agree ... that doesn't automatically grant sainthood to Apple.

Joke... (1)

pionzypher (886253) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795242)

Two of his readers write to Apple and get responses back implying that this must be some joke. Either that, or Apple is being damn sneaky with the PR and trying to discredit him. Since I'm not really in a tinfoil hat sort of mood, I'm going to have to lean towards joke on this one.

Never in my life... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795248)

did I imagine /. would be such suckers as to post this fake stuff. It's all fake, ferchrissake, to generate publicity for Forbes and FSJ and his book. Unbelievable.

Apple is no different from Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795282)

They just have less power, then can do less damage. But give them a week in Microsoft shoes and you'll have a perfect MS twin whose only corporation-wise difference is the HQ in Cupertino.

As a Linux user I'd say next one will be Google.

NDA that doesn't expire (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795286)

Haven't these companies heard of an NDA that doesn't expire? International companies use them...

Sinister? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795288)

It sounds to me like Daniel Lyons is trying to smear Apple with this fake story. Gee, who'd have guessed? I thought Daniel Lyons would never smear someone for Microsoft. It's not like he's ever done this before. Nope, never. Oh yeah, except for all those other times with SCO.

Ah yes, Dan Lyons... (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795308)

This would be the same Dan Lyons that faked a take-down note from Apple in order to stop writing Fake Steve Jobs before his management found out about it. He didn't want his management to know because technically he was violating his contract with Forbes, but fortunately for him they didn't mind.

Not exactly a paragon of virtue himself... and not above conducting business in public when it suits him, and in private when he can get away with it.

This guy also thought SCO was a sure winner and wasn't very polite about the Linux community.

Right to privacy? (0)

JustNiz (692889) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795316)

Very scary that the Apple lawyers listed all his assets including mortgage, kids college funds etc. with values on their last letter to him.
How can they even get this info? Aren't your financial details meant to be private, even in the US?
If I was him I'd be looking a suing Apple for threats/blackmail and also suing the investment comapnies for releasing that info to strangers. At least I'd move the money to someone else.

EFF? (3, Interesting)

ilyag (572316) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795346)

Apparently, the guy tried to contact EFF and was turned down [blogspot.com] (see bottom of the link) because the EFF didn't like some of his posts.

Assuming that this is true, this doesn't shed too good a light on the EFF. Isn't the EFF supposed to help bloggers that are being attacked by large corporations, regardless of what is posted on the blog and, in particular, of whether the person likes the EFF? At least, isn't that what people who donate to the EFF expect it to do?

Re:EFF? (4, Insightful)

1729 (581437) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795470)

Apparently, the guy tried to contact EFF and was turned down (see bottom of the link) because the EFF didn't like some of his posts.

Do you really believe that? Parts of this hoax were believable, but the EFF part was obviously a joke.

Re:EFF? (1)

jcr (53032) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795488)

Nope, that's bullshit too. The EFF didn't like that spammer Hamadi, but they still took his case.

-jcr

If that doesn't tell you it's a joke... (4, Insightful)

svunt (916464) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795654)

Seriously. First, he's talking about Apple's lawyers presenting him with a list of his assets as a covert threat...bullshit - in an email? I really, rally don't see Apple putting that on paper. Now the EFF has said they only represent people they like? They've represented spammers, for fucksake. It's like everyone's critical ability has been washed away by the promise of Apple bashing, or corporate bashing.


Shame on the lot of you. This is supposed to be a smart crowd here. Don't let your bias get to the point where you just look foolish. It's xmas, it's the weekend, but Apple lawyers are firing off quick replies that are increasingly brutal despite their previous emails all going directly public via FSJ? Come on, nerds, use your brains.

man, microsoft er apple must be desperate (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795364)

apple is far worse than microsoft. you fanbois know this and use the line about them making supposedly better products as a defense. does that mean that ideology is dead?
 
i wonder if you same people wouldn't be concerned about the riaa if they were suing people who were copying a product that you have no interest in. it seems to me that only when someone gets in the way of what you want that you take interest. it has nothing to do with an ideal, it has to do with your own greed and a nonsense idea that just because something can be done that makes it legal for you to do.
 
why not use that same logic when it comes to wiretaps or e-mail scanning by the government?
 
apple fanbois fail it.

Not shocking (1, Insightful)

Liquidrage (640463) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795378)

The younger geeks don't remember why Apple lost out the 1st time around. They're the King of Control. The champion of "our way or the highway". The locked it down when no one else did, and their prices were insane.

As I've been accused of being a MS tool in the past, I will always maintain they are the lesser of three evils when compared to the other contenders that could have won out. Apple and IBM.

So while it's currently "cool" to think of Apple as the hippy-happy company. Realize they are anything but. Job's paints a pretty picture. Just realize he's going to tell you which room and which wall to hang it on. Or he won't let you buy it.

Re:Not shocking (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795416)

The younger geeks don't remember why Apple lost out the 1st time around. They're the King of Control. The champion of "our way or the highway". The locked it down when no one else did, and their prices were insane.
Apparently the older geeks don't remember it so well either.

Everyone locked down their systems back in the day. The one architecture which ended up winning out over all the others ended up being the one which was most practical and profitable to reverse engineer without permission from the original company. But the PC didn't win out because it was open, it won out because it was opened by direct force from outside despite the best efforts of IBM to keep it as closed as possible.

Re:Not shocking (1)

Liquidrage (640463) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795472)

No, but apparently you like playing square peg - round hole though.

I don't have a problem with anything in your second paragraph, and it doesn't contradict anything I wrote. Only your initial claim does.
I never claimed IBM didn't have control issues. In fact, I mentioned them next to Apple as companies I am happy did not win. It's when systems became available that weren't locked down (the clone wars and wintel) that the battle was settled.

Re:Not shocking (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#21795694)

The fact remains that tons of other companies also locked down their systems. Stating that Apple "locked it down when no one else did" is simply wrong.

Re:Not shocking (1)

wolf12886 (1206182) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795586)

Oh, he'll let you buy it, he just won't authorize it to display anything unless your a good consumer and do as your told with it. (and don't even think about letting anyone else look at it or **gasp** buy it from you)

Re:Not shocking? Sue Me! (2, Insightful)

joeldm (739717) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795610)

I don't know that Apple lost because they "locked it down". If Apple's intent was to control all the world's computers and have to service any small company with a device and a driver of questionable stability, then, sure, they lost. But look at the two companies today . . . one is huge, incredibly rich and unwieldy with a product that people universally hate while the other is the darling of intelligent and thoughtful people everywhere. You ask, "if all these people love Apple why ain't they richer?" Simple. The majority of people in the world are not thoughtful and tasteful. McDonald's, Walmart, Dell. Case closed. Keep in mind, Jobs is a multi-billionaire . . . that's billion with a "b". Ya know, a thousand times a million? And he was pretty darned rich and beloved long before he ever sold a single Mac, so if he's crying about Gates' billions then he's a lot more shallow than I gave him credit for. I think, other than getting run out of Apple by Scully & Co, he's had a pretty good run and even getting canned turned about to be good, Pixar made him richer than Apple did, didn't it and in his spare time he created the future of the Apple OS in NeXT. What do you do in your spare time? Yes, Apple is a corporation. Anyone who thought they were a commune singing kumbaya over their circuitboards is an idiot. They're in business to make money and they do. They're something like 2nd or third most profitable company in the last decade in the US and maybe the world. Yes they're A-holes with the lawyers sometimes, but who in the corporate world isn't? It comes with the territory. And Apple's business model is based in part on its secretive nature. So while I don't like it, it's not like it affects how my iPhone docks so beautifullly with my Mac. When Jobs sells me a product I am smart enough to know what I'm getting and what I'm not getting. When GE sells me a fridge I know that changing the condenser or the coils will void the warranty. Same thing with Apple products. If I want to hack and tinker, I'll buy a PC. Not only are they more tinkerable, but tinkering is often required to get the gd things to work properly. I like appliances, they do what I expect them to do and they don't require rebooting - much. I'd be very happy if Macs booted instantly, never crashed and did everything that Apple said they would do, but then Macs are a lot closer to that ideal that Windows is and that's a quality I love. so, sue me . . . . JoeL

Re:Not shocking (2, Insightful)

DECS (891519) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795640)

Sorry I have to call your bullshit.

Apple didn't lock anything down that hasn't always been locked down. Do you think Windows is an open specification? And Mac prices were only insane because RAM was insanely expensive. Apple shipped 32-bit color workstations in the 80s which PC tards compared to 256 color PCs and decided the Mac was more expensive. It was not. Compared to an equally equipped PC, it was the same price. The only difference was that Apple didn't sell cheap low end boxes that were obsolete at purchase (until they changed their strategy and started on the low end with the Mac LC in 1990). It also provided the OS for free.

You can look through old PC mags from the 80s and find $8-10,000 Macs, but you can also find $10-12,000 PCs like IBM's PS/2 line, which had similar high end equipment. Macs had SCSI when PCs had Centronics parallel ports and IDE.

Closed/Open didn't have any impact. Microsoft ripped off the Mac system software and then monopolized the PC market with exclusive contracts that prevented any alternatives from emerging. It's Microsoft that has jacked up the price of software. They set the price of Office at $500 and kept adding apps to it to kill off competitors. They set the price of the OS at $150 when most OS were free. Then they delivered shitty products for 15 years, and now their OS costs $300 or more.

Apple certainly screwed up under its mid-80 to mid-90s CEOs, but the errors were (perhaps) keeping the OS unlicensed and not making any effort to sell to consumers. Apple's past and present control is its greatest strength, and why Macs offer a much better experience. The uncontrolled environment in Windows is why PCs suck, and Linux offers little to help in that regard. It will offer a much cheaper replacement to Windows however.

Microsoft is everything about what's wrong in technology: non-interoperable, infatuated with adware, spyware friendly (WGA, Alexa), a proponent of onerous DRM (HD-DVD, WMV, PlaysForSure, Paladium), and enemy of open source development, and a price hiking monopolist. They also have no taste and deliver third rate products.

Your deluded, Dvorak-brainwashed generation will have to die off before technology can make any progress.

The New Apple Patent: WGA Evil or iPhone Knievel? [roughlydrafted.com]
Is it true that Apple is racing to duplicate Microsoft's infamously evil WGA, or is it possible that Apple's patent describes something entirely different that leaps over the heads of industry pundits and performs a spectacular arc over the rows of broken down vehicles underneath (some of which may be on fire), to land a new platform and win applause for doing so?

Re:Not shocking (1)

Liquidrage (640463) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795698)

Call bullshit all you want, doesn't mean you have a clue. And your post is nothing but a whiny inaccurate rant.

Let me take you back a little while. A few decades. You have a lot of different computer options for the home. But they were all complete options. If you bought an Apple it was their hardware (or picked hardware), it was their software that ran it. It was very similar to buying a console game system today.

That changed when Wintel broke out. Two companies (one supplying hardware to vendors, the other supplying the OS) is far more open then one controlling both. Intel was and is x86. But even in the 80's there were at least a few other options. But the early 90's another viable option. And by the late 90's the Athlons were out as truly viable options. MS has controlled the OS market since then, but because the hardware wasn't locked by them, it gave room for Linux and others to grow.
There's nothing noble in Apple wanting to control the *entire* PC experience. And that's what they want to do. MS and Intel slept together, sure. But they had squabbles (Windows 95 wasn't an Intel favorite) and even cheated on each other. MS with AMD and Intel with Apple.

It's a much better scenario then Apple or IBM controlling the hardware and the software.

Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (4, Insightful)

stephentyrone (664894) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795406)

C'mon people, think! It's the FAKE Steve Jobs blog. Did it occur to you that the stories there might be FAKE? This is satire, and you're all fools.

Re:Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (4, Funny)

Liquidrage (640463) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795418)

No, actually. Because I didn't read it on his blog. I have no history reading his blog. I read it on /.
You're barking up the wrong tree. I expect stories posted here to be accurate for the most part. I'm not expected to be an expert on the stories, enough to call "BS" on them. You're post is utter crap. If this is a fake, the onus is on this site, not us that read this site.

Re:Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (1)

frdmfghtr (603968) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795606)

I expect stories posted here to be accurate for the most part.
You must be new here. Welcome to Slashdot.

Re:Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (1)

websitebroke (996163) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795616)

Gee, I thought that Slashdot readers were savvy, not passive consumers of tech news.

It's a hoax. (4, Informative)

jcr (53032) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795412)

Guys,

Dan Lyons had me fooled, since he was not in character as FSJ, and really did sound scared. I sent an e-mail to SJ about it, expressing the concerns that any shareholder would have if this situation were true, and he replied.

He told me, quote:

I think this is a joke.

Steve


-jcr

re: Apple to buy Universal and NBC in a LBO (1)

chaz373 (671243) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795414)

People believe anything. Lawyers do not send official documents via email. Lawyers need a paper trail. Large companies don't negotiate until NDA's are signed. That is not the exception, that is the rule. Lawyers follow steps; lawsuit before settlement, settlement before verdict or trial. Besides, it's a satire site...with you know...satire.

I've said ti before and I'll say it again (2, Insightful)

GomezAdams (679726) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795558)

Buying Microsoft products is like having an ex-wife you are obligated to pay all expenses for. When she gets a new dress you have to buy her a new house and abandon the old one. Then the new dress needs all new accessories and even unrelated kitchen appliances and a car.

But then buying Apple products is the same except it starts with a new house and works it's way back to the dress, car, and kitchen appliances which can only come from the same company that built the house.

I am constantly amazed with the people who flock to Apple when they do the same thing at the hardware level that Microsoft does at the software level and that is product line lock in.

The major reason Apple lost the numbers war to Microsoft is that Windows and it's related products were allowed to run on any IBM PC clone while Jobs wanted to control every aspect of the Apple and sued out of existence the very people who were trying to clone an Apple and extend the user base of Apple and Apple-like products. Microsoft doesn't really care about pirated software in third world countries as long as the computers are running Microsoft products. They have a foot hold on future sales when the dust clears from law suits and the users are socialized into thinking that Microsoft is the only product they can use. As long as it's not Linux/x386BSD/Apple they are willing to tolerate pirating because it extends the base of users of MS technologies.

While Apple may make a better product overall (remember Mac OS is FreeBSD under the covers) they will always be only a niche market because Jobs is a worse control freak than Gates. --

Seriously, people (4, Insightful)

MattW (97290) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795566)

(1) Even Apple's lawyers don't just whip out kid's college fund numbers.
(2) The EFF would never say that.
(3) If Lyons has a contract to continue the blog, then his employer would most certainly be fielding the lawyers, because if anything were actionable, they'd be liable too. (duh) So his "I've already paid a ton for a lawyer" was another giveaway.

What's hilarious is that Real Steve Jobs (or at least someone acting on his behalf) took the time to reply to a few angry readers who emailed him.

Nice posts though. FSJ rocks.

Remembering Dan Lyons (1)

stabiesoft (733417) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795572)

Isn't Dan this guy [groklaw.net] . Not sure why you'd believe anything in his blog. He has a very very very long history with fud & SCO.

Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (1)

GarfBond (565331) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795580)

It would appear that no one on Slashdot has any sort of humor at all - at least the sort that read it on a Saturday night.

Many of you would do well to remember that FSJ is a parody blog, sometimes at its finest, sometimes not so much.

Those of you kneejerk types can also rest easy in the fact that because FSJ is a parody blog, it doesn't have any actual news content or any "rumors" worth suing over either.

Re:Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (5, Insightful)

ceoyoyo (59147) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795642)

Parody is a right that comes with responsibility like any other. When you step out of character on your parody blog and say you're being sued, and give nasty details, if you're lying that's not parody anymore, it's just lying.

Zip your lip about Apple! (1)

rice_burners_suck (243660) | more than 6 years ago | (#21795664)

Dude, these are some pretty serious threats. I don't want that happening to me, so henceforth I won't say ANYTHING about Apple for fear of them chasing me down. For example, I won't tell anyone how happy I've been with Leopard. They might confiscate my house! It's a high-end cardboard box located under the Auchumpkee Creek Bridge, a very fine neighborhood and a great place to raise children. No way man, I ain't talking about any fruit company!
Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>