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Uwe Boll To Quit Making Movies With 1M Signatures

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 6 years ago | from the just-means-he-is-switching-media dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 355

An anonymous reader writes to mention that Uwe Boll, the infamous German director behind such video game adaptations as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege and Postal, has recently admitted that he would retire from making movies if enough people want him to stop. When FearNet mentioned to Boll a petition online signed by 18,000 people requesting that he cease making films, Boll responded that '18,000 is not enough to convince me.' So how much would be enough? 'One million,' Boll said."

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Signed, signed, SIGNED! (5, Funny)

OMNIpotusCOM (1230884) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992916)

Where do I sign? Do you need blood? Money? A donation? How many times can I sign? Fucking I'LL SIGN!

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (5, Informative)

Androclese (627848) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993116)

Petition Link [petitiononline.com]

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (5, Funny)

OMNIpotusCOM (1230884) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993246)

Thank you, ok, clicked the link. Sign petition button... they want my name... alright, Wil...Wheaton... email, wil@...wilwheaton.net... comment. Oh, this should be good. Alright, "Dr Shitboll, if the Special Olympics had a movie-making competition, you would win a medal... and not just one for participation like Wes Anderson."

There, that should do it. Well now Wil can't petition... he probably wouldn't use his own name anyway. I'm sure he'd go with Brent Spiner or something. Ok, done and done.

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (5, Interesting)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993188)

Where do I sign? Do you need blood? Money? A donation? How many times can I sign? Fucking I'LL SIGN!
I reacted slightly differently. At first, yes I was eager to sign this ... but then I paused ... what about the Mystery Science Theater 3000s and Cinematic Titanics of the future? Where will they buy the rights to destroy movies for a couple thousand dollars?

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993512)

what about the Mystery Science Theater 3000s and Cinematic Titanics of the future? Where will they buy the rights to destroy movies for a couple thousand dollars?
Obviously you haven't been keeping up with Hollywood's latest technology. At this point you could do a whole season of MST3k just by hitting IMDB and doing a search for any movie featuring a dragon.

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (3, Funny)

glwtta (532858) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993616)

what about the Mystery Science Theater 3000s and Cinematic Titanics of the future?

The problem is, there's nothing "so bad, it's good" about his movies, they are in what I like to call the "Shat Out With the Least Amount of Effort" category - not much MST3K can do with that.

Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (2, Funny)

Psmylie (169236) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993646)

And won't someone please think of all the B-movie actors who would be out of a job?

Good lord... (0, Flamebait)

Otter (3800) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992926)

That, you autistic dorks, was what normal people call a "joke".

Re:Good lord... (1)

Svenne (117693) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992942)

Yeah. Do you see the Foot icon to the right of the article? What do you think that means?

Re:Good lord... (2, Funny)

tachyonflow (539926) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993094)

That, you autistic dorks, was what normal people call a "joke".
Those of us with a sense of humor find signing the petition to also be quite funny. :)

Sign the petition! (4, Informative)

JediLow (831100) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992928)

Over 60k signatures already!

http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html [petitiononline.com]

Re:Sign the petition! (2, Informative)

CogDissident (951207) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993040)

Its just a PR stunt. Stop pandering to the tax-loophole-exploiting jerk.

Re:Sign the petition! (4, Insightful)

sherpajohn (113531) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993502)

Its just a PR stunt. Stop pandering to the tax-loophole-exploiting jerk.
A PR stunt it may well be, but I take exception to your characterization of his financing methods. At least according to his Wikipedia entry, he is one of the few people in Germany using the German tax laws in regards to German film fiancing on the way the German government intended it. the article states most "German" film financing using these "tax-loopholes" are mere exploits used to finance American films.

His movies may suck, but at least he is using the money and tax laws as they were intended!

Re:Sign the petition! (2, Funny)

dvanduzer (563848) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993304)

He can't possibly challenge all of us to boxing matches, right?

Re:Sign the petition! (1)

pugugly (152978) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993592)

No one of us can take him

SO WE'LL HAVE TO GANG UP ON HIM - C'MON GUYS!!!

boot to the head . . .

Re:Sign the petition! (1)

nine-times (778537) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993534)

Doesn't seem like much to me. This has already been on some really popular sites, and only has 60k signatures. When you get 10 times that, you'll be a little more than halfway towards the goal.

Re:Sign the petition! (1)

STrinity (723872) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993548)

I have the signature page in a tab set to reload every 5 seconds. It's climbing between 5 and 10 signatures per reload.

What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Insightful)

oncehour (744756) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992946)

Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him? He's got some serious hate going on on the internet, and I'm just a bit curious as to why?

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Insightful)

JediLow (831100) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992974)

He makes your eyes bleed... seriously. (I've tried to watch some of his stuff, I couldn't take it)

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Funny)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993220)

He makes your eyes bleed... seriously. (I've tried to watch some of his stuff, I couldn't take it)
Maybe he should change his name to Ewe Bola!
Ba-dum-dum!
Thanks, I'll be here all week!

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

plague3106 (71849) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993236)

I saw BloodRayne.. I didn't think it was that bad. It was at most ok, but I've seen far, far worse movies than that.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

Otto (17870) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993472)

BloodRayne was probably the crowning achievement of his career. Then he followed it up with BloodRayne 2 and Postal...

Seriously, this guy has made his name by taking decent games and making completely shit movies out of them. I'm saddened to learn he's been working on an adaptation of Far Cry.

http://imdb.com/name/nm0093051/ [imdb.com]

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (2, Informative)

downix (84795) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992998)

His non-videogame based movies aren't bad. The problem is he tries his hand at videogame adaptations and they always turn out the same, overpriced and underwhelmed.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (3, Insightful)

dougmc (70836) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993282)

I'm not sure it's entirely his fault. After all, video game movies have a history of sucking, even before Uwe started making them. But you would think he'd either 1) get the hint and stop, or 2) find out why they suck and fix it and if #2 is impossible, there's always #1.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Interesting)

Svenne (117693) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993016)

His movies are bad. Really, really bad. Unfortunately, they're not bad in the kind of way that they become unintentionally funny, they're just mindnumbingly bad.

Please, take my word for it. Don't watch any of them just to find out. I'd hate to have another human being waste 2 hours on that dreck if I can help it.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1, Funny)

diegocgteleline.es (653730) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993072)

Uwe Boll is the worst director EVER.

Which is why you shouldn't sign the petition. His films are so bad that they're wonderful. Don't listen the gamers.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (2, Insightful)

ewhac (5844) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993614)

Uwe Boll is the worst director EVER.

No. Harold P. Warren [imdb.com] is the worst director ever.

Schwab

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (5, Funny)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993074)

Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him? He's got some serious hate going on on the internet, and I'm just a bit curious as to why?
Imagine a modern hog factory farm, imagine the veritable rivers of semi-liquid feces squelching downhill from the oinking, shuffling pigflesh. Imagine a rope around your leg, the far end attached to a speedboat. Imagine being pulled backwards through that stinking mass, mouth clenched tight against your bile but still the runny shit makes it up your nostrils and down your throat, between your eyelids, burning your retinas, the impact of the brown waves against your body like sledgehammers.

If you can tell me what's so bad about that, I can tell you what's so bad about Uwe Boll movies.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Funny)

phallstrom (69697) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993590)

You work for the US Government's Torture Oversight Committee don't you?

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Insightful)

Schnapple (262314) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993166)

Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him?
  • -His movies are bad. Really, universally accepted as terrible.
  • -He keeps getting handed video game franchises to make movies out of, which is problematic because video game fans hate to see their favorite franchises turned into crappy movies, but it has further reaching implications in that it states, essentially, that the movie industry has no respect for the video game industry since they keep letting this man make shitty movies (that lose money, no less)
  • -His initial career was only made possible due to a loophole in German tax law which allowed him to spend other people's money on his bad movies since they could write off the loss for tax purposes. Once that loophole was closed, he decided to stop making expensive ($1M+) movies
  • -He's quite arrogant and usually pretty angry (which you might be too if people kept shitting on your movies
  • -He lured critcs out to a charity fight [wired.com] and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital
On a deeper level, whereas people like you and me have to work our asses off, he's rich off his no-talent works because of a (now closed) loophole. He wipes his asses with video game franchises (the Postal movie actually made 9/11 jokes) and he's a pretty despicable human being (see the Wired article above).

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (2, Insightful)

dougmc (70836) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993322)

Nothing wrong with 9/11 jokes. A Postal movie *should* be un-PC.

(Not that I'm saying his movies haven't sucked. Or that video game movies didn't have a history of suckage even before he started making them.)

Anyone who beats up on critics can't be all bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993450)


He improves civilizations in some ways, degrades it in others.

Like most of us.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993468)

-He lured critcs out to a charity fight [wired.com] and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital
It's a bit worse than that, from the trivia page of Postal [imdb.com] , he had also planned on capitalizing off of that by using it as footage in the movie:

In June of 2006, Uwe Boll publicly announced a challenge to his numerous critics to "put up or shut up." Based on certain criteria, Boll will select five of his harshest critics to fight in a series of multi-round boxing matches to be held in Vancouver, British Columbia that will be broadcast over the Internet. He planned to use footage from these fights in this movie, but it was soon discovered that they don't fit into the plot of the movie, so the idea was dropped. Itâ(TM)s claimed that they might be part of the DVD when itâ(TM)s released.
Is it a "charity" fight when you are planning on making money off of it?

Also as further proof, I offer up another bit of trivia from Postal:

Uwe Boll only shot 3 to 5 takes of every scene in the movie. He thought that the biggest strength in comedy is the emotion behind the acting, which cannot be kept when trying the scenes too often.
That little snippet may remind you of Ed Wood [imdb.com] .

I assure you, I watch a lot of movies. He is up there in the worst director/writer category. Thank god Germany got its laws straightened out!

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (3, Interesting)

kabocox (199019) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993578)

His initial career was only made possible due to a loophole in German tax law which allowed him to spend other people's money on his bad movies since they could write off the loss for tax purposes. Once that loophole was closed, he decided to stop making expensive ($1M+) movies
He's quite arrogant and usually pretty angry (which you might be too if people kept shitting on your movies
He lured critics out to a charity fight and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital


This guy is my new hero. WTH does it matter that you or I don't like his movies or that they were funded by a tax loop hole? Nada. There are similar tax loops here in the US. One of my college professors made movies using the US version of this. He was pretty up front about all of it. Yep the people who fund him don't care about money or where their money is being spent because they just need to lose some for tax purposes.

I'm impressed that this guy had the guts to beat the snot out of his critics. Most of us would B.S. about it or try to bluff our way out of something, but we just wouldn't have the balls to do that. I'm sorry, but that's great. It doesn't matter how bad his movies are. He's defending them and some one is obviously paying him to make them. This guy now ranks above Cmdr Taco in my people that deserve respect for doing something that I should have done/would like to do book.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

RingDev (879105) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993636)

To be fair, anyone who gets into a ring with another person set on a competition of combat prowess, for what ever reason, should be there to fight. Charity or not, they are fighting.

-Rick

There's nothing that bad about Uwe Boll (4, Interesting)

goldcd (587052) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993168)

He makes averagely bad straight-to-video style films - yet rises above the mass of other jobbing directors with his ability to drum up publicity. FFS - how may other 'directors of his calibre' can you name? Reason he's working (putting aside tax breaks), is that he takes a relatively small amount of money from producers, rights for a computer game and makes them all money on the film he produces.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Insightful)

Coryoth (254751) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993184)

Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him? He's got some serious hate going on on the internet, and I'm just a bit curious as to why?
He engenders the degree of hate (particularly on the internet) that he does for a couple of reasons. The first is that his movies are bad -- and I mean really, painfully, teeth-grindingly bad. Of course that alone doesn't generate that much hate; there are, after all, an endless supply of incredibly bad movies and abysmal movie makers in the world. The second point is that Uwe Boll has a great love of "adapting" computer games for the screen, and he is highly prolific at doing so. This manages to piss of geeks by raping their fond memories of games (Boll has a habit of going after older games, as far back as the 80s) by butchering what made the game good and simultaneously making something that, while attractive from the title, is painful to sit through. For those who have wised up and don't attend his films, there's still the niggling fact that, by producing so many video game based films that are so very bad, Boll has gone a long way toward discrediting both video games, and the idea of making films based on video games (in this latter point he is hardly alone of course). Since internet geeks and video game geeks have a nice large overlap, this makes internet based Boll hate something that gets noticed.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (3, Interesting)

norton_I (64015) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993228)

His movies are really, really bad. But I would never sign the petition. Better to try making moving and totally suck that be a bunch of whiny jerks on the internet who can "hate" someone for simply making movies which they can choose not to watch.

As for "loophole tax shelter"--it was never a loophole, it was an incentive to get people to make movies in germany, which he did. If I were a tax paying german, I could see being upset by this, but since I am not, I don't really see any reason to do this.

Yes, I am being whiny jerk on the internet. That doesn't affect whether what I say is true or not.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993234)

Imagine an idiot with no talent in any art, imagine he's an accountant, then imagine german filming tax breaks also include a very profitable loophole that can be exploited by making shite movies, but passing alot of money through them.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Insightful)

iluvcapra (782887) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993316)

As someone who actually works in the film industry, I'm not too quick to complain, since all of his films generally result in people working....

But on the other hand, his films are some of the most cynically exploitive junk you've ever seen. He uses a provision in the German tax code to get tax credits and free money, and uses those to bootstrap foreign distribution pre-sales and video-game tie in deals. In effect, he's made money before he even starts rolling the camera, and so the quality of his film itself is irrelevant as long as it cuts a good trailer, will have a good poster, and has enough "bankable" stars in the project to stimulate box office. It's essentially the Roger Corman model, just without the class and punk authenticity.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993328)

Imagine Ed Wood with a lot more money and less talent. The hate comes from the fact he turns out god awful films based on a material that has the potential to make decent films and he spends a bundle doing it. I'd say he needs practice but he seems to actually get worse with time.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (4, Funny)

Mr. Bad Example (31092) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993462)

> Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him?

Perhaps this review [agonybooth.com] of his version of Alone in the Dark will be instructive (as well as entertaining).

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

scooter.higher (874622) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993482)

I'm with you... I haven't seen any of his movies either... but then again, he has yet to make a movie based on "The Legend of Zelda," "Super Mario Bros.," or "Tetris" - at least not that I know of.

A Zelda movie... now that would get me to go back to the theater instead of waiting for DVD releases!

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

Joe Tie. (567096) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993486)

It just takes one. I had no idea who he was, and innocently walked into island of the dead. It was horrible, just amazingly bad. I've never felt so disoriented after watching a movie. It was like this giant vortex of suck and fail. It's as close as a person can come to actually being mentally attacked by a movie. I know how it sounds, but I can understand how people could carry a grudge.

Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (1)

Pojut (1027544) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993532)

I personally don't think his movies are all that bad, to be honest...it's his bastardization of the original story and events that happen within a video game that make him such an ass.

Most of his movies are merely ok...but considering they are supposed to be based on video games, they tend to have only the name in common. I can't speak for others, but that is why he pisses me off.

Does he know about Teh Internets? (1)

whoever57 (658626) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992960)

Does this guy know about the Internet, and the fact that there are millions of people using it, including people who do random things such as siging online petitions?

I don't care about his movies, but like many, it would be fun to see someone give up his job just because a million people clicked a button on a webpage somewhere..... such a feeling of power!

Re:Does he know about Teh Internets? (1)

peragrin (659227) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993018)

I have seen a couple of his flicks. it is time I wish i had back. For the record I signed three times, one with each of my email addresses. Of course even if the petition gets two million signatures he won't quit.

Re:Does he know about Teh Internets? (4, Funny)

dougmc (70836) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993364)

To be fair, if the list does hit one million, he'll just claim fraud. And based on your comment, he'd actually be right.

Way to go! Uwe Boll will continue making video game movies, even if the petition reaches one million signatures -- and it'll be YOUR, peragrin's, fault.

(Granted, I don't expect him to stop even if the petition does hit one million unique, verifiable signatures, but still, I'll blame you.)

Re:Does he know about Teh Internets? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993030)

>Does this guy know about the Internet, and the fact that there are millions of people using it, including people who do random things such as siging online petitions?

I doubt there are one million people who care enough about who this guy is.

Wanna bet? (1)

Lilith's Heart-shape (1224784) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993194)

My signature was number 62041. There probably are a million gamers online who are more familiar with Dr. Uwe Boll than they ever wanted to be. Personally, I hope his last film will be Springtime for Hitler.

Regardless of the petition (1)

joeflies (529536) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992962)

How come the studios don't stop him from making movies? It's not like they're drowning in the money he's raking in with Bloodrayne. They have focus groups that must be universally telling them that fans of the original property don't want to see his movies. And the reviews, well the reviews speak for themselves.

Focus Group (1)

electricbern (1222632) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993004)

If you say you like it, you get free pizza.

Re:Regardless of the petition (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993014)

He must be making those movies on the cheap. So it is entirely possible his movies actually make money.

"House of the Dead" is not actually terrible, but I have never seen the game, on the other hand stuff like "Alone in the Dark" is so bad I could hardly watch it half way. I could live with cheap movies, but he totally destroys the story line without any good reason whatsoever.

Re:Regardless of the petition (1)

Akaihiryuu (786040) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993066)

Actually, his films *did* make money. They just didn't make money in the *ahem* "traditional" way. He made money off his films by using creative accounting and German tax loopholes...basically the more money his movies lost at the box office, the more everyone could write off on taxes and make a profit (well, simplified explanation).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll [wikipedia.org]

Re:Regardless of the petition (1)

OMNIpotusCOM (1230884) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993136)

A very sensible question. I think, all things being equal, whenever a big-name studio says that their movie made no money [wikipedia.org] , and given that money is a lot like energy in that you cannot create or destroy either, a Uwe Boll film makes money. Something like that anyway.

Re:Regardless of the petition (1)

Coryoth (254751) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993254)

How come the studios don't stop him from making movies? It's not like they're drowning in the money he's raking in with Bloodrayne.
I have asked that question of people in the know some time ago, and as I recall it had something to do with German tax loopholes. This meant that the movie could turn a profit (for the right people, presumably it was a huge loss in many books) no matter how badly it did. Have a look at Boll's IMDb entry [imdb.com] and note how many films he has in production or post-production right now. He's not slowing down, he's speeding up.

a million... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22992978)

A million sperm can't be wrong. Here, have a glass full!

The REAL reason he's quitting (5, Informative)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 6 years ago | (#22992994)

Boll is actually quitting because the German government recently closed the tax loophole [cinematical.com] that allowed Boll and other German filmmakers to set up their "films" as tax shelters for businessmen (with no intent of ever making any money). The gravy train has dried up and the scam is over.

Re:The REAL reason he's quitting (3, Informative)

Sam1230 (1265736) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993126)

That link doesn't say anything like that...

and after all this time (2, Funny)

joeflies (529536) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993218)

I never realized that the "Springtime for Hitler" scam in The Producers was for real!

what's the loophole? (1)

nguy (1207026) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993366)

If the German government kicks in x% for a film, that means that they believe that producers can't break even if they have to pay those x% themselves. That's not a "tax loophole", it's government subsidies working as intended, keeping the German film industry in business and keeping actors and film crews from starving between the occasional blockbuster. Of course, most of the subsidized movies will be trash, but it's either lots of bad movies with the occasional good movie, or just commercial, generic US imports.

A Challenge (4, Funny)

whisper_jeff (680366) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993032)

Bad move. Never challenge geeks. We'll always find a way to overcome.

Re:A Challenge (5, Funny)

calebt3 (1098475) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993146)

Oh of course. We stopped OOXML's ISO fast-tracking cold.

Re:A Challenge (1)

dougmc (70836) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993380)

What's sad is that it's probably geeks who went to see the movies he made. Granted, Doom didn't make much money, but it did make some money -- and it wasn't grandma who went to go see it.

Puny Earthlings (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993034)

Morbo [wikipedia.org] stop making fun of Earth of 1 million puny earthlings sign up to be Morbo's slaves.

sign with your email, we'll keep it private! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993068)

Explanation of Email Address Privacy Options:
- "Private" means your email address is stored in a secure private location, for signature validation only.
Yeah, right! As if they do more than a regex to check, and why not delete after the regex? Even if they send confirmation mail, why not delete the mail after confirmation??

SIGNED! (1)

harshmanrob (955287) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993096)

SIGNED!!!! Also...go see "ebeeto" on youtube.com for his educational video on how to produce this sorry mother fucker's name.

Re:SIGNED! (1)

harshmanrob (955287) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993122)

I meant to say PRONOUNCE his name, but, oh well...who cares. He just sucks and every piece of trash he has created sucks too.

It's Like Wrestling (2, Interesting)

dcollins (135727) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993102)

Yeah, yeah, I've seen this a bunch of times when pro wrestling is promoted. The heel "retires" and then comes back as a celebrity referee or manager, so he's still in your face all the time. C'mon, people!

Re:It's Like Wrestling (1)

esocid (946821) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993306)

Exactly. If he does in fact "retire," I want a contract that gives his firstborn up for sacrifice if he doesn't keep his word.

Re:It's Like Wrestling (1)

kalidasa (577403) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993398)

Exactly. If he does in fact "retire," I want a contract that gives his firstborn up for sacrifice if he doesn't keep his word.

That wouldn't stop him - he'd just film it.

just let him be (4, Insightful)

nguy (1207026) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993104)

I don't get it. Why petition the guy to stop making movies? Maybe his movies will be quickly forgotten, maybe they'll be cult classics 50 years from now. As long as he manages to finance them somehow and stay in business, who cares? If you don't like his movies, do what I do: just don't go.

Re:just let him be (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993156)

He finances them with German tax dollars.

Or did, anyway. The loophole was closed, and hey look, now he's talking about retiring.

Re:just let him be (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993260)

He finances them with German tax dollars.

He finances 50% with German tax dollars

Or did, anyway. The loophole was closed, and hey look, now he's talking about retiring.

What loophole? That's what the tax break was there for. Despite all the complaining, Boll seems to have done better internationally than other recent German directors. I mean, what was the last German movie to gain any kind of international attention? Run Lola Run?

Maybe Boll lives by Oscar Wilde's rule: the only thing that's worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Re:just let him be (1)

Spuds (8660) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993200)

I don't get it. Why petition the guy to stop making movies? Maybe his movies will be quickly forgotten, maybe they'll be cult classics 50 years from now. As long as he manages to finance them somehow and stay in business, who cares? If you don't like his movies, do what I do: just don't go.
Dog crap on the sidewalk isn't so bad either, just don't step in it.

Re:just let him be (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993324)

I don't get it. Why petition the guy to stop making movies? Maybe his movies will be quickly forgotten, maybe they'll be cult classics 50 years from now. As long as he manages to finance them somehow and stay in business, who cares? If you don't like his movies, do what I do: just don't go.

You're missing the point. As long as he's in the business, no one's favorite videogames are safe from being turned into horrible movie adaptations, preventing decent adaptations from ever being made. It's self defense. ; )

Re:just let him be (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993342)

Because they hand him the sole rights to video game franchise movies that might actually have been GOOD if someone else had made them.

Re:just let him be (1)

esocid (946821) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993362)

I don't go. But I'd rather he stopped shoveling filth onto the screen and perverting the video game industry. He already has 3 new movies in production, and 3 in post-production according to imdb [imdb.com] . His newest:

"Zombie Massacre", based on a Wii-Action Shooter, revolves around three punk rockers and a police officer. They have to fight their way to a city - filled with zombies - with their old-timer, on which they transport a nuclear bomb, which should detonate in the city, to destroy the zombies.

Cult Classics? (1)

AioKits (1235070) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993454)

For some reason the thought of this cult just scares the shit out of me.

Re:just let him be (2, Insightful)

SydShamino (547793) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993456)

As long as he manages to finance them somehow and stay in business, who cares? If you don't like his movies, do what I do: just don't go.
I've seen Uwe Boll but never a Uwe Boll film. The problem as I understand it is that he doesn't write original scripts. Instead, he is often handed a gaming franchise, which he then proceeds to shit upon.

So, if you've played a video game and loved the story, environment, characters, you're already invested in the franchise and, bluntly, "care". To see Uwe Boll shit on something you care about makes you angry. Plus, it is very unlikely that a video game whose movie fared poorly in the theater will get a second motion picture in the next few decades, potentially preventing us from ever seeing a movie about a story we love.

You're point would be valid if Uwe Boll did what Woody Allen does - write his own stories - because then we could just all ignore them.

That's got to hurt (3, Insightful)

Devin Jeanpierre (1243322) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993120)

I'd never sign such a petition. He can make whatever films he wants, so long as people are willing to pay. It's a lot more hurtful to try to convince him to stop with 1 million people asking. That's... well, that kind of thing hurts. The only thing that could lessen it is the whole idea that, chances are, the petition wouldn't really have had 1 million people sign it, but maybe 300 000 sign it 3 or 4 times on average.

Re:That's got to hurt (1)

Ortega-Starfire (930563) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993574)

"I'd never sign such a petition. He can make whatever films he wants, so long as people are willing to pay. It's a lot more hurtful to try to convince him to stop with 1 million people asking. That's... well, that kind of thing hurts. The only thing that could lessen it is the whole idea that, chances are, the petition wouldn't really have had 1 million people sign it, but maybe 300 000 sign it 3 or 4 times on average."

No, he needs to stop. If he so much as TOUCHES Deus Ex with a 10 foot pole, I will kill him.

Do your part (1)

kryptKnight (698857) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993202)

The petition can be found here. [petitiononline.com]

Free publicity (2, Insightful)

HexRei (515117) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993230)

This is nothing but a scam to get Uwe more publicity. Right now he's a hack director, I doubt a million people are even really all that aware of him.

Re:Free publicity (1)

shrikel (535309) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993522)

Maybe not, but I'd guess a million non-existent, script-generated names may nevertheless end up on the petition, after this slashdot posting.

In All Fairness... (3, Insightful)

sking (42926) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993250)

This only makes sense if there is a petition to sign asking him to KEEP making movies.

And does it really matter? Nobody has to watch the movies he makes. Let the market decide.

botnets (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993262)

I know one of you slashdotters are in command of one of those massive bot-nets. This is where your purpose comes into play my friend, this is where your purpose comes into play...

He's holding the world hostage for.... (1)

madhatter256 (443326) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993298)

He's holding the world hostage for... one million dollars!

bwuaahahahaha... bwuahahahaha... BWUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *cue austin powers music*

Where (0, Redundant)

unablepostAC (1044474) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993302)

Where do I sign?

Internet petitions... (2, Insightful)

jandrese (485) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993326)

If my grandmother rolls her eyes at the idea of internet petitions, what reason is there to think that Uwe would stop making movies from one? Just because someone name Soukin McCocksoff said he's a bad man and should go away on the internet means he'll do it.

YHBT YHL HAND (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993358)

I was at the premier for Dungeon Siege and Postal, and I met the man himself.

Postal is a good movie for what it is, and for the rest of them you can't expect much from movies based on games, it just isn't the format they were meant for.

Uwe himself is pretty nice, but not in a way everyone can appreciate. He is like a real life troll and hes good at it.
He pushed peoples buttons and lets them make fools of themselves, like at the charity fight, he beat them good(or badly), but it was a fight, and he came prepared to fight, he has nothing to apologize for that or his movies. (but it would be nice if a challenger appeared, and I think he would agree.)

Reverse Pyschology (3, Funny)

Herkum01 (592704) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993388)

I would think the fewer number of signatures would result in him having an increased chance of quiting. If they got 1 million signatures, that would mean that nearly 1 million people actually heard of him! He could claim that he has the presence to draw large numbers of people to his movies!

If he was only able to get 20~ 25,000 signatures no studio is going to look at and say "His works are so beloved that they are not complaining about him!" His career would be over.

The opposite of love is indifference. If you want his career over ignore him.

What about Dungeon Siege? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#22993446)

I happened to like Dungeon Siege. Sure, bloodrayne sucked, but every director makes a movie that tanks. Look at spielburg, and most of his movies suck. James Cameron - He directed Titanic which has got to be the WORST movie ever! (Think of all the times that stupid song gets played... )

I wouldn't do it (2, Insightful)

blind biker (1066130) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993448)

I don't care what kind of movies he did - it doesn't really matter. What matters is to have self-esteem, and that means noone is going to tell me what I should or should not do. It's not a democracy; when it comes to my life, I am the only one responsible to make the decisions. If I feel that my movies have a value, then just because there's lots of people who disagree doesn't mean much. You know the saying: eat shit - one billion flies can't be wrong.

spreadfing this to everyone.. (1)

s0litaire (1205168) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993458)

Signed and sent requests to everyone i know to sign this!! :D

Over 62,000 signatures now... (1)

Assmasher (456699) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993510)

LOL... I doubt he'd stop anyhow, but I signed. What a tool that guy is.

Ever try to set up 950,000 Gmail accounts? (2, Funny)

edwardpickman (965122) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993600)

It's a lot of work but worth it.

Ah more publicity, the last thing he needs... (4, Insightful)

kentrel (526003) | more than 6 years ago | (#22993638)

This kind of hatred over a filmmaker who's creating something is really sad, pathetic and unhealthy. No, his movies might not be very good, and yes they are in fact terrible, but they're hardly the worst films ever made unless you've never seen 90% of the horror\musical genre, or anything made for youtube.

Filmmaking was and never ever has been a democracy. This idea of writing petitions to DEMAND that he stop making movies that you don't ever have to watch or think about is pathetic. 99% of movies are released weekly around the world that you'll never ever know about, simply because you don't care enough. His movies aren't mass-marketed, they're not shoved in your face on TV or fast food restaurants. The only people who are shouting about Uwe Boll loud enough for ANYONE to hear are the people who hate him. Stop hating him, stop shouting about him, and he'll likely go away a lot faster. In fact, if he had been ignored like most other filmmakers he may have gone a long time ago.

No member of the public has a say in who gets to make movies. It's not a democracy. If they want to vote, vote with their dollar. If enough people still pay to see the movies, such that the filmmaker is still in work, then nobody has a right to demand that he goes, except his business partners. That's life. Suck it up. There are bigger injustices in the world to worry about.

Signing a petition is just hilarious and pathetic, and will probably have the opposite effect people intend. This kind of hatred is unhealthy. Have some perspective people. He's not answerable to any of you. Fanboys need to stop kidding themselves into thinking that they have any say in what filmmakers do. They don't. Filmmaking has been a business since its inception, and still is. Even if there were a million signatures he's under no obligation to do anything that a bunch of deluded movie geeks "demand" of him.

He could make a movie where he prints those signatures out, laughs at them, tears them up, and posts the resulting video on youtube. Don't fanboys ever see that the more they are outraged at something inconsequential like this the more ridiculous and hilarious they appear to the rest of us? Pick your battles.
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