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Why Lizard Squad Took Down PSN and Xbox Live On Christmas Day

DiEx-15 Re:Such nobility (336 comments)

Given such lofty and noble intentions I'm sure they will be making their names known any day now so that the public can thank them for thei civil service...

I'll be selling pitchforks and torches to help the public properly thank them. For an extra 5, I'll sell them rope and a nice, tall tree.

about a month ago

Marijuana Legalized In Oregon, Alaska, and Washington DC

DiEx-15 Re:America is a RINO (588 comments)

Yesterday's election was a message to Washington that America wants conservatives to represent them! Also, they want legalized pot, increased minimum wage, the right to have an abortion, insurance-provided contraception, and required paid time off at work!

Wait, what?

Not for long.

about 3 months ago

Ask Slashdot: How Do I Make a High-Spec PC Waterproof?

DiEx-15 Handyman's Secret Weapon... (202 comments)

Duct Tape.

Just remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!

about 3 months ago

FBI Says It Will Hire No One Who Lies About Illegal Downloading

DiEx-15 Re:So... (580 comments)

Am I out of consideration if I refer to the polygraph as 'truth dowsing' while it is being administered? How about asking if it can detect witches?

You'll probably be burned at the stake for being a heretic or just for the fuck of it.

about 4 months ago

U2 and Apple Collaborate On 'Non-Piratable, Interactive Format For Music'

DiEx-15 Re:Challenge accepted! (358 comments)

don't they realize when they make statements like "can't be pirated", a whole bunch of people reply with "challenge accepted!" and will go to great lengths to do so?

The better question is: How fast will those who say "Challenge accepted!" be able to complete said challenge?

Based on past data and general history: I'd give it a week, tops. That is of course my extremely high optimistic and perhaps overly generous projection.

about 4 months ago

Microsoft Considered Renaming Internet Explorer To Escape Its Reputation

DiEx-15 Re:All white meat (426 comments)

McDonald's is happy to introduce the all-white-meat chicken McNugget!

Wait ... what the fuck was in it before?

Grease and grizzle wrapped in talcum powder. Then deep fried in pure cholesterol.

about 5 months ago

Babylon 5 May Finally Get a Big-Screen Debut

DiEx-15 Re:Netflix Time Now? (252 comments)

Maybe they could get around to putting the series up on Netflix so that the rest of the world, other than hardcore scifi nerds, will get a chance to view it and be ready for when it comes to theaters?

They did or at least they use to have it on Netflix.

about 6 months ago

California Man Sues Sony Because Killzone: Shadowfall Isn't Really 1080p

DiEx-15 Re:more power to him (286 comments)

as much as I don't care, some game companies need their hands slapped when it comes to false advertising. anyone remember simcity 4 multiplayer?

...Or EA's rendition of SimCity with it's "Not DRM but Online Features That Must Always Stay On The Internet Or The Game Won't Work At All Even If You Want To Play Single Player!" DRM.

about 6 months ago

Alleged Massive Account and Password Seizure By Russian Group

DiEx-15 In other words... (126 comments)

...because Verizon can!

about 6 months ago

PlayStation Now, Sony's 'Netflix For Games' -- Pros and Cons

DiEx-15 Re:sega channel (75 comments)

Anyone else remember sega channel for sega genesis? i think 11.99 got me unlimited games on it for the month (granted i only recall 5-8 games on it at a time, and they would rotate every month) Seems like a much better price structure to me. 9.99 a month to play whatever limited rotating catalog is there, i think a number of gamers would pay for that, but with the prices the way they are talking it will fail (after it makes moms and dads angry at their kids for their 200 a month gaming bill)

That isn't a fair comparison. Not everybody was able to get the Sega Channel because of technological limitations. Unlike now where Sony's crap is delivered via internet.

Case in point: I lived in Iowa (which is still in the stone age as far as I am concerned) when the Sega Channel came out. I asked the precursor for MediaConArtists (otherwise known as Mediacom, a Comcast offshoot) for it and they gave me herp derp about how they were unable to get it. Basically they said that they were limited, technology wise, from providing it. Granted, the channel didn't last long and it made sense that they didn't want to upgrade the system for one channel. Then again, they got assimilated by the MediaCon Borg a few years later and provided shitty "blazing speeds" that disconnect at random (or whenever they felt like it) for hours on end in my area.

Now at days: If your town can get internet via broadband, you can get Sony's deal. Provided of course the area in Iowa doesn't think Broadband is a witch that needs burned at the stake.

about 6 months ago

Nintendo Posts Yet Another Loss, Despite Mario Kart 8

DiEx-15 Re:Here's an idea! (203 comments)

It's 1983. Atari just settled a lawsuit over Activision's ability to create games for the 2600, and did not get a restraining order against the practice. Shovelware is running rampant, and many of the companies creating the shovelware are small startups. Games are not selling because they were overall fucking terrible. Stores lose a ton of money on having merchandise they couldn't sell. Many of both the distributors and developers are going of business. The distributors that are diversified and survive, like Toys 'R Us, refuse to use inventory space on games. It's a business decision they're making based on what happens when games are completely shitty.

In comes Nintendo with a way to ensure that truly shitty games don't make it onto their console, and they rejuvenate an industry that almost killed itself entirely with too much openness.

Again, this isn't some hypothetical bullshit argument about whether open source is superior on moral grounds from someone who holds no real stake in the outcome. It's what actually happened in the industry.

That seal didn't completely stop shitty games from hitting the NES/SNES but it did curtail a lot of "jackals" from doing damage.

about 6 months ago

The Rise and Fall of the Cheat Code

DiEx-15 Re:And this ... (178 comments)

Bigger publishers have now realized you can actually sell these things to players as DLC. Want that special gun? Think you can unlock it with a cheat code? Nope! You've got to give us some money first!

And this is why my XBox isn't connected to the interwebs.

I'm not interested in your damned in-game economy, and I have no interest in getting my ass kicked by a 12 year old playing on-line.

I'll stick with my off-line gaming, thank you very much.

I couldn't agree more!

about 7 months ago

Report: Watch Dogs Game May Have Influenced Highway Sign Hacking

DiEx-15 Correlation == Causality Time! (154 comments)

Video games are the big evil. They are murderer trainers and hacking instructors. They fill our kids with all sort of evil ideas and shows them how to properly and easily do them in the real world.

Fucking twats. People been hacking non electric street signs since those have been coming out. And I'm pretty sure you'll find other peeps have been hacking electric sings way before this (I know I've seen them). What makes this big? Oh ya, a video game came out where you can hack signs. Easy to blame the game, since obviously video games are responsible for the shooting the other day also.

All this shit boils down to is somebody assuming Correlation = Causality. It's the exact same shit we hear when some kid goes nuts and shoots up a school. It's the exact same shit we hear when Political Party A wants to discredit Political Party B.

It's nothing new.

Some kid gets bored and for a few laughs does a readily available trick on some road signs. Rather than figure out ways to prevent it, it's much easier and cheaper to pin point some trivial bullshit and raise a fuss about it. So, naturally when they found out this kid played a video game about hacking they found a scapegoat and focused on that. Nevermind the fact this has been going on long before this game came out. By [Insert deity here or leave blank], that game is at fault because they don't want to face the responsibility that it's their own damned fault for not better securing such a trivial thing!

about 8 months ago

Average American Cable Subscriber Gets 189 Channels and Views 17

DiEx-15 Re:Same problem as always... (340 comments)

Wife is addicted to crap TV. I would cancel my $200/mo U-Verse service in a second if she'd let me.

Let us know if you survive should you decide to go against her wishes.

I know I wouldn't if I did it to mine.

about 9 months ago

Why Should Game Stories Make Sense?

DiEx-15 Re:The real plot problem (169 comments)

The real plot problem is that not enough effort goes into game plot development.

I dunno - sometimes they over-do it, taking themselves way the hell too seriously.

I think the coolest game I ever played is still an old-assed text-based game. The game came with a scratch-n-sniff card, a 3D comic book (with glasses), and just enough 'plot' to get you started. The plot is is scare quotes because, quite frankly, it's intentionally stupid, silly, risque - but hellishly funny. The game itself required a ton of imagination on your part (because it was all text-based), and a lot of mental recall to avoid getting lost, killed, etc.

Even now, 2+ decades later, I still get a smile when I think of the so-called "plot" (it begins in Upper Sandusky, Ohio, then instantly puts you on Mars, etc...)

That aside, here's something else to consider: one of the absolute most popular games of the '90s was the Doom/Quake franchise, right? The 'plot' for Doom and Quakes I, II and III were thin at best, and let's be honest - it only got in the way of the real reason we all played Quake: Kill shit in realtime 3D and watch the gibs fly. The big 'plot' in the CTF/Team Foretress/WeaponsFactory MODs, and in CounterStrike and suchlike? Really - what plot?

I guess what I'm getting at is this: a plot is only useful sometimes - not all games need one, and if a game really needs a heavy, complex plot, then maybe it's just trying to cover for crappy gameplay?

To add to your point:

Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Pong, Tetris: What story ? There is hardly one there, if any. Eat pellets, get high score. That is Pac-Man's story. Tetrris? None. Donkey Kong? A big ape stole your girl. Get her back. The end. Pong? Use paddle. Don't miss the ball.

The point is: Story is not that important in video gaming. The level of immersion and interaction and how a gamer does this is key in the suspension of disbelief in a game. A lot of times, gamers can't even remember the story, just that they did something in the game.

about 9 months ago

'The Door Problem' of Game Design

DiEx-15 Answer: Critical Path (305 comments)

I'm not convinced by TFS. The answers are, roughly:

  1. 1. Are there doors in your game? Let's say for the moment there are.
  2. 2. Can the player open them? Yes. If you have doors in a 3D game and they don't behave like doors, you have failed.
  3. 3. Can the player open every door in the game? Yes. See point 2.
  4. 4. What tells a player a door is locked and will open, as opposed to a door that they will never open? It's a door. It opens.
  5. 5. What happens if there are two players? Doors behave the same for all players. It's a door. See point 2.
  6. 6. Does it only lock after both players pass through the door? See point 5.
  7. 7. What if the level is REALLY BIG and can't all exist at the same time? Then your technology is not good enough to implement your vision and one or the other needs to change. See point 2.

Am I the only one who finds arbitrary restrictions in games, either because the technology couldn't cope, or because the game designer knows how you want to play better than you do, or just because, really annoying? If there's a door there, it should open. If it won't open, there shouldn't be a door there. How hard is this? Putting a door there that's never going to open just frustrates the player and destroys the suspension of disbelief. It reminds them that they're not really in this world they can see, they're in some arbitrarily limited construct devised by a "product manager" at some company to try to screw a few bob out of them. Of course there need to be some limits on the world, because the technology isn't infinite; good game design should make those limits look natural so that the player never even notices that the limit is there.

Tomb Raider games are amazingly annoying - some things you can jump and grab, some things you can't. The only way to tell is to jump and try grabbing it. If it doesn't work, maybe you can't jump and grab that thing, or maybe you just didn't quite get it right. I know, I know, this is not the point of Tomb Raider games, Lara is, but still...

It's called Critical Path. The path the game designer needs/encourages you to go to "win" the level. With the exception of sports games, simulations, and sand box games: There is always a Path, even if it looks like you are not following one. A good game designer knows all possible ways to go from Point A to Point B and either rewards you or obstructs you from going that particular way.

The whole experiment with the door is to demonstrate how different players in the design process view something like a door in a game. This is to be expected though. Each person in the development process has a different view of what would happen in the world they are creating. This also demonstrates the concept of Critical Path being key to a good designed level/game world.

As for doors opening/locked: The only way I see it breaking the suspension of disbelief is if doors that normally were always closed suddenly became operable near the end of the game without explanation or doors that were open-able become disabled even though they are clearly marked as open-able.. Marking them? At first that might break the perverbable "4th wall", but if they get immersed into the world all the signs and indicators become second nature and no longer have that much impact. It becomes "normal" to press a button to open a door even with a mysterious floating text there to indicate it. They don't even read it: They just instinctively realize that door is open-able because the indicator is there.

about 9 months ago

First Glow-In-the-Dark Road Debuts In Netherlands

DiEx-15 Just what I wanted! (187 comments)

I collect glow-in-the-dark things. So excuse me as I book a flight there.

Hope my pickaxe can be considered carry on. Going to need a lot of KY for the TSA screening though.....

about 9 months ago

Yahoo May Build Its Own YouTube

DiEx-15 Re:Ads on Youtube are getting obnoxious (162 comments)

Not only that: There is no quality control over it.

Friday, I watched an ad for something called "The American Parasite". It was basically making some accusations and saying over 250 million Americans have this "parasite" and it was being covered up by the government and medical fields.All being done in a ASAP Science kind of way in order to somehow get people to trust them.

Well, knowing what bullshit smells and looks like, I did a quick fact check. Turns out this "parasite" is nothing more than a yeast (Candida to be exact) that feeds on sugar. Not only that: the ad makes a whole lot of bogus and Correlation = Causality shit. All they wanted is for people to go to their complete moonbat site, watch a TL;DW video that makes even more bullshit moonbat claims, and for people to buy this probiotic crap.

The moral of this story is that it won't be long before even more moonbats with pseudoscience take advantage of this and advertise a plethora of "You can't skip these" bullshit ads selling shit and sugar.

about 10 months ago

Gunshot Victims To Be Part of "Suspended Animation" Trials

DiEx-15 Re:"Victims" (357 comments)

"10 gunshot and stabbing victims will take part in the trials"

Jesus, I can already picture a scientist charging around a shopping mall with a revolver and a switch-blade yelling "For science!"

Or Combustible Lemons

about 10 months ago


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