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Congress Can't Make Asteroid Mining Legal (But It's Trying, Anyway)

JockTroll Re:LOL (211 comments)

Why would space colonies want to break away?

Two words: Mobile Suits.

And two more: SIEG ZEON!

3 days ago

Windows Tax Shot Down In Italy

JockTroll Re:The geek never learns. (415 comments)

We're not talking about pedophile geeks here, but italian judges. The kind of guys who in the aftermath of an earthquake will sentence you to jail for the crime of being a geologist. Nobody cares what geeks think or say, because we ignore them and, if they get too loud, we silence them with a swift kick to the head followed by our feet stomping down on their zit-ridden faces, crushing them into pools of pus. Italian judges, on the other way, are still debating if Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation applies to Italy since it was enunciated by a non-italian.

4 days ago

Universal Big Bang Lithium Deficit Confirmed

JockTroll I knew it (170 comments)

We've reached Peak Lithium. Shit. We're fucked. OK, let's shut down everything and go home to die all emo and depressed.

5 days ago

In France, a Second Patient Receives Permanent Artificial Heart

JockTroll Re:DUAL CORE, BEEOTCHES! (183 comments)

Do it properly, clone a 3rd world street urchin from your own DNA and then hunt him down and harvest his organs.

about a week ago

European Commission Reopens Google Antitrust Investigation

JockTroll Re:Viva Europa (95 comments)

Godwin, you lose.

about a week ago

Two Explorers Descend Into An Active Volcano, and Live to Tell About It

JockTroll Lame (66 comments)

Haroun Tazieff did that way before. Of course, Tazieff was a world-class jock: he would climb up an erupting volcano, lower himself into the crater and fart into the lava just to see what happened. A great lover of physical activity and a competitive fellow who had engaged in sabotage tags against the Nazis (with the Nazis always being "it" because they couldn't catch him), he would take no shit from no-one and would, instead, shovel shit by the metric ton upon the wannabe shitters. Too bad he died but this kind of stuff just happens. Just remember than while Steve Irwin would poke tree branches up crocodile's butts to see what happens, Haroun Tazieff would poke a humungous Avatar tree-of-life branch up an active volcano's butt just for the lulz. And then he would pull the volcano's pants all the way to its fire-spitting head.

about two weeks ago

Mangalyaan Gets Ready To Enter Mars Orbit

JockTroll Re:Congratulations, India ! (67 comments)

Fuck becoming peaceful. We won't, ever. But at least we'll get to use cool spaceguns and mobile suits and nuke places from orbit just to be sure. And we'll kill a metric fuckton of people with DEWS and peebees and wave motion guns and whatever and spread they corpsicles into the merciless vacuum of space just for the lulz. And the idea of using the blood of schmucks like you as rocket fuel turns me on. I mean, it fucking gives me a hard-on. Who cares if it doesn't burn well, nothing screams FUCKING AWESOME like a rocket engine powered by boiling human blood! BRING IT ON!

about three weeks ago

Scientists Confirm Life Under Antarctic Ice

JockTroll Re:Right, thaw them out... (46 comments)

Loserboy nerd, do a fucking blood test. If you can't do a proper lab thing, draw blood from each suspect and plunge a heated wire into the sample. If it withdraws or leaps out of the Petri dish squealing, torch the subject. Problem solved. You don't know a Thing, don't you?

about three weeks ago

EFF's Cell Phone Guide For US Protesters

JockTroll Re:Trojan Horse (82 comments)

You are aware that electronic devices are forensically imaged (just like computers and any digital media storage) and not just hooked up like you do when you're backing up your phone, aren't you? I'd say no. You've seen too many movies and TV shows and now you think you're Neo. Reality is going to hurt when a bunch of cops will be laughing at you, just before they beat you up and shit on your face.

about a month ago

Babylon 5 May Finally Get a Big-Screen Debut

JockTroll Re: And so it begins... (252 comments)

Star Dreck was shit from the start, and Rottenberry's "vision" was at best naive claptrap and at worst unredeemable drivel. The reboot was the best thing it could ever happen to that pile of crap, except for oblivion. Bad "science" (only loserboy nerds known as "trekkie pedophile geeks" can delude themselves into believing any of that shitty technobabble can ever be related to real science), one-dimensional characters, laughable plots and a setting that could be called "moronic" at best. Come on, mankind working for nothing? "Spreading wisdom and piece through the galaxy"? If it were fan fiction it would be laughed at mercilessly. There was a good reason it was cancelled: it was shit. B5 was vastly superior to DS9 (which was a shameless ripoff) but it doesn't stand the test of time. Oh, and we cannot imagine the future better now, we'll only put in smartphones and fecesbook in because we cannot imagine what does not exist, yet. Now crawl under your bed and cry yourselves to sleep, shitheads.

about a month ago

UK Government Report Recommends Ending Online Anonymity

JockTroll Re:No chance of ending anonymity (282 comments)

That's simply naive: the people who have the know-how to maintain anonymity are few, and once they're a small enough number, rounding them up for some legal harassment and the occasional armed break-in in the middle of the night will make them see the light. There is safety only in numbers, and the numbers are dwindling fast. You don't want to be singled out for harassment, do you? Remember: in the mind of the layman online crime == child pornography.

about a month and a half ago

How Stanford Engineers Created a Fictitious Compression For HBO

JockTroll Re:The cast (90 comments)

Of course it's not believable. Geeks and nerds are usually portrayed by talented, good-looking actors who play their characters as slightly eccentric enthusiasts who happen to be socially awkward in an endearing way. Nobody pays money or wastes time to see ugly, repulsive abhumans behaving in socially unacceptable ways, stalking women, being rude and obnoxious and talking about crap nobody cares about. Perhaps the most accurate portrayal of a nerd in movies was Scott Weidemeyer from "Zero Charisma", and even there it was radically toned down. Face it, the only way to portray that subculture in media is to simply NOT portraying it at all and showing a falsified and viewer-friendly version. Your typical nerd is not the cast from "The Big Bang Theory". Your typical nerd is Elliot Rodger: a lifelong loser obsessed with niche interests and hollow pursuits, good at nothing, with at most average intelligence and yet cultivating delusions of superiority and seething with rage towards the Real, Beautiful People. Nerds are shunned and derided for good reasons.

about 2 months ago

Ask Slashdot: Future-Proof Jobs?

JockTroll Re:Simple (509 comments)

Ah, typical mysoginist loserboy nerd. All budding elliot rodgers I see. Did you see yourself when you were reading his ramblings? Shunned, humiliated, unloved? A virgin all your life? You hate women because no woman in her right mind would ever fuck you. No one. You are condemned to a life of unfulfillment and loneliness. Are you planning your day of retribution, loserboy? Come on, I can feel your rage from here. You know, it's kinda fun. It's almost worth a snicker. Enraged now, loserboy? Flap your arms, weirdo, flam them like you used to do when you were hazed and bullied (rightfully so) in school while the pretty girls laughed at you. Do you remember how heartily we all laughed when you were left running the corridors bawling like a little kid in your soiled underwear. Ah, what a riot!

about 2 months ago

A Skeptical View of Israel's Iron Dome Rocket Defense System

JockTroll Oh well (379 comments)

He can go and build a better one. Or he can shut up and suck up the fact that Jews are smarter than euro-derived 'murkins.

about 2 months ago

Following EU Ruling, BBC Article Excluded From Google Searches

JockTroll Re:Congrats EU (239 comments)

Yes, of course, the EUrocrats do not want people to know too much. The new president Juncker has stated, publicly, that people should not know too much and deals should be made in secret, and the Commission must move past and push its agenda past the point of no return before the populace can understand what's going on. Van Rompuy stated that the EU policies will be fully implemented even against public opinion. In the end, Hitler has won, but this should not be surprising: europeans are nazis, by nature.

about 2 months ago

Robert McMillen: What Everyone Gets Wrong In the Debate Over Net Neutrality

JockTroll Re:SciFi come to life (270 comments)

And how, exactly, are you going to prevail against Big Money? Just curious. Because one thing Science Fiction rarely address is how should those technological conquests be defended against people whose wealth mean absolute power. When it does, it usually involves powered armour, flamers and the occasional planet-busting weapon.

about 3 months ago

Great White Sharks Making Comeback Off Atlantic Coast

JockTroll Unbelievable (107 comments)

Can you still call anything "great white"? I thought it would have been "dimensionally advantaged caucasian".

about 3 months ago

Age Discrimination In the Tech Industry

JockTroll Re:22 (370 comments)

Most likely, if you're out of work at 30 after working 8 years in the tech industry, you've been replaced by a younger worker who's cheaper and more flexible. IT in particular has no need for talent, know-how and experience, you shovel fresh meat in at one end and shit comes out of the end. That's why computers are for chumps.

about 3 months ago

HUGO Winning Author Daniel Keyes Has Died

JockTroll Re:Sad, but... (66 comments)

There is nothing that can make a nerd "better". A nerd cannot be anything but a nerd. The only improvement would be feeding it to a woodchipper.

about 3 months ago

Starbucks Offers Workers 2 Years of Free College

JockTroll Re:BSES (169 comments)

You know, somebody has to design those microgravity coffee machines.

about 2 months ago


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