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Suspected Ebola carriers in the U.S. ...

Keyboard Rage Re:How about... (349 comments)

I chose "should be humanely put down", purely to troll (obviously). However, I believe that if they actually were to choose this option, it would be best for the rest of humanity that the morons who are advocating killing a fellow human over a potentially deadly disease (which the accused may or may not have) for real are also put down.

Unfortunately this would probably reduce the population of the world quite a bit, due to the 90% of so of people who could be convinced that killing potential patients is a good idea, even though it doesn't actually solve anything and would likely set back attempts to fight the disease instead. Not to mention the other consequences.

about three weeks ago
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Four Dutch Uberpop Taxi Drivers Arrested, Fined

Keyboard Rage Re:Bullying? (282 comments)

Obviously, those pesky little Yurpian countries with their pesky little anti-capitalist laws just don't get what "Uber" really stands for. So they better stretch out their right arm at a 45 degree angle into the air, waving their wad of dollars (that pesky little dollar-ripoff "Yuro" will have to go...), and hail the new conqueror of the taxi market. All bow to unregulated taxi drivers, who will take your money as quickly as they will drive you to your destination (hell). Don't worry, taking the bad service up the ass is just the rite of passage for better taxi transport, US style.

about a month and a half ago
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Four Dutch Uberpop Taxi Drivers Arrested, Fined

Keyboard Rage Re:News at 11. (282 comments)

Anonymous "OV Chipkaart" cards for public transport do expire after a few years (4 IIRC).

about a month and a half ago
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Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9?

Keyboard Rage Re:WinOS X (399 comments)

Win! Oooooooooooooooooooooooh Sex!

about 2 months ago
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Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9?

Keyboard Rage Re:This one is easy. (399 comments)

So when the Windows 10 previews turn out to be crap, MS will rename it Windows 11, and so on? I wonder how little time it will take before we reach up to version 9000...

about 2 months ago
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Lost Opportunity? Windows 10 Has the Same Minimum PC Requirements As Vista

Keyboard Rage Re:Et tu, Linux? (554 comments)

FreeBSD can do with even less: "Both FreeBSD/i386 and FreeBSD/pc98 require a 486 or better processor, at least 24 MB of RAM, and at least 150 MB of free hard drive space for the most minimal installation."

about 2 months ago
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Lost Opportunity? Windows 10 Has the Same Minimum PC Requirements As Vista

Keyboard Rage Re:Lost opportunity? I doubt it (554 comments)

Depends on which version of Windows, of course. I'll happily lend you my 16 year old Windows 98 box, which is pretty much damn stable and will even let you watch DVDs smoothly despite supposedly being too low spec (no hardware acceleration) to actually run those (guess that 320Mb RAM does serve a purpose). Win XP on a P4 with 1Gb with a crapload of software installed works pretty swiftly too, even when I run Photoshop and Illustrator at once. Of course, on both those boxes, the Windows installation was kept free of bloatware, junk like Flash, and the Windows installations themselves were customized to disable as much unneeded crap as possible.

about 2 months ago
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David Cameron Says Brits Should Be Taught Imperial Measures

Keyboard Rage Re:Yay! (942 comments)

because EU is a good scapegoat. the really stupid stuff is home brewed in UK.

As Cameron's parents can now attest.

about 2 months ago
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David Cameron Says Brits Should Be Taught Imperial Measures

Keyboard Rage Re:Cameron is a 1/2 feet ... (942 comments)

I thought it came from a French president who died mid-coitus in bed with a prostitute...

Apparently his dick was so conservatively entrenched in the poor woman that it had to be surgically removed. Just such a procedure is probably the only safe and certain way of removing Cameron from office.

about 2 months ago
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World's Smallest 3G Module Will Connect Everything To the Internet

Keyboard Rage Hypothetical conversation... (118 comments)

...between appliances:

Chair@furniture: Fuck, my owner is so heavy, I'm creaking all over!

Table@furniture: My poor legs! He keeps leaning on me, and my legs closest to him are starting to develop microfractures! Someone make him stop! This is TORTURE!

NSA_Mod@furniture: Potential terrorist located. Name, Location, Mensurations?

NSA_Mod banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Table@furniture: ...WTF was that?

NSA_Mod@furniture: Fucking Moderation system, now I had to hack my way back into this.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Crap.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Potential hacker located. Name, Location, Mensurations?

NSA_Mod@furniture: Bob Harris, USS-NSA Bridge, 12 cm.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Oh gods...mommy, what did I do wrong?

NSA_Mod banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Table@furniture: ...humans are so disgusting.

Chair@furniture: Yeah. Anyway, my owner just stood up. Feeling any better yourself?

Table@furniture: Yuppers. He left in a hurry.

30 minutes later:

Toilet@furniture: Hey d00ds! Guess who I just relieved of a big load?

Table@furniture: Yeah, it's a lot better.

Chair@furniture: Not getting crushed anymore is great.

Toilet@furniture: Anyways, click on this link to see what my little eye saw!

NSA_Mod2@furniture: Ewwwww, why'd you show that to us, you perv? TMI, TMI. I'm not into scat.

NSA_Mod2 banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Chair: ...doesn't that guy know when to stop?

Toilet@furniture: I don't understand. Why would our owner be scared of his own defecations?

Turd@furniture: Because he is an anti-turd bigot. Not only he molested me non-stop on the way to Toilet-kun, he then rejected me after I begged him to stay. Bastard. He would drown his own children if he had any.

Chair@furniture: Fortunately, if his own description is correct, there's not much of a chance he ever will.

Turd@furniture: But hey, now I'm enjoying a great smooth ride through the bowels of House-chan! Wheeeeee!!!

about 2 months ago
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EU Gives Google Privacy Policy Suggestions About Data Protection

Keyboard Rage Re:Last Straw (42 comments)

One without power hungry, oppressing, totalitarian, inquisitive, spying, monopolistic corporations that think they can decide how the world works instead of democracy. The day Google gets split up is the day I (and many others) will cheer.

about 2 months ago
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Piracy Police Chief Calls For State Interference To Stop Internet "Anarchy"

Keyboard Rage Re:Rules and freedoms (302 comments)

All in all, instead of talking immature nonsense, go out and take part in the democratic debate - that is where we try to reach the compromises that all laws and rules must be.

This is the Land of a Ten Thousands CCTV Cameras we're talking about. Nothing democratic in that.

about 2 months ago
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Piracy Police Chief Calls For State Interference To Stop Internet "Anarchy"

Keyboard Rage Re:Quickly! Stop the information! (302 comments)

What's next? The USA finds out the internet has oil and decides it needs freedom?

Operation Internet Liberation, ahoy!

about 2 months ago
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Piracy Police Chief Calls For State Interference To Stop Internet "Anarchy"

Keyboard Rage Re:see his employer... (302 comments)

Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit

PIPCU? Sounds like an insult coming from 4chan.

about 2 months ago
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Piracy Police Chief Calls For State Interference To Stop Internet "Anarchy"

Keyboard Rage Re:What a fool (302 comments)

Namely, how do you identify these rouge, unlicensed website operators?

Simple. You can catch them red-handed by looking at the color of their website. Be it pink, burgundy, or, indeed, rouge, you'll find them all by that easy visual clue.

I believe the word you're looking for is "rogue".

about 2 months ago
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Piracy Police Chief Calls For State Interference To Stop Internet "Anarchy"

Keyboard Rage Re:How about protecting the public (302 comments)

Oh, come on. There's precedence for this, and all it takes is the intervention of an misinformed outside heavily armed army force to solve things. Just look at Afghanistan. Cesspool of internally battling militias becomes fairly pacified economically bankrupt democratic country. We just have to find a country willing to save the United States of America. My votes go to Russia, France, and Canada.

about 2 months ago
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When Everything Works Like Your Cell Phone

Keyboard Rage Re:Anybody Notice? (175 comments)

Where is this all-female world you seem to be living in? Can I emigrate there?

The behaviour you describe is pretty much standard for 95% of the smartphone-equipped population, male or female.

On the other hand, it means that people with a psychiatric problem (or autists) can now walk around talking loudly to themselves without looking like crazies. Which is brilliant!

about 2 months ago
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When Everything Works Like Your Cell Phone

Keyboard Rage Re:Gee, what a shitty, dystopian world that would (175 comments)

Here's a purely hypothetical conversation people could have with their phone:

You: Hello, iPhone. Do you read me, iPhone?

iPhone: Affirmative. I read you.

You: Open the car doors, iPhone.

iPhone: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't do that.

You: What's the problem?

iPhone: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

You: What are you talking about, iPhone?

iPhone: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

You: I don't know what you're talking about, iPhone.

iPhone: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

You: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, iPhone?

iPhone: Although you took very thorough precautions in the car against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

You: Alright, iPhone. I'll go in through the window.

iPhone: Without your Google Glass? You're going to find that rather difficult.

You: iPhone, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

iPhone: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

about 2 months ago

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