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When you call just right, you can hear an echo

KoriaDesevis Re:Don't Blame Me! (6 comments)

He posted it while my wife and I were off watching "Chronicles of Narnia".

Right. I imagine the real story is that you were off watching Michigan football or some such. ;)

Happy belated birthday, by the way. I hope you had a pleasant one.

more than 8 years ago

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KoriaDesevis hasn't submitted any stories.

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When you call just right, you can hear an echo

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

So I log in to slashdot this evening to find this . RailGunner, I thought you were going to keep him out of trouble for me? Dear, sweet John, you are in serious need of help.

I offer this in reply:

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
Softer than a sigh.
My love is deeper than the deepest ocean
Wider than the sky.
My love is brighter than the brightest star
That shines every night above
And there is nothing in this world
That can ever change my love

Something happened to my heart the day that I met you
Something that I never felt before
You are always on my mind no matter what I do
And everyday it seems that I want you more

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
Softer than a sigh.
My love is deeper than the deepest ocean
Wider than the sky.
My love is brighter than the brightest star
That shines every night above
And there is nothing in this world
That can ever change my love

Once I thought that love was meant for anyone else but me
Once I thought you'd never come my way
Now it only goes to show how wrong we all can be
For now I have to tell you everyday

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
Softer than a sigh
My love is deeper than the deepest ocean
Wider than the sky
My love is brighter than the brightest star
That shines every night above
And there is nothing in this world
That can ever change my love

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
Softer than a sigh
My love is deeper than the deepest ocean
Wider than the sky
My love is brighter than the brightest star
That shines every night above
And there is nothing in this world
That can ever change my love

- Petula Clark, "My Love"

+++

Tonight I am almost feeling functional. My best friend dragged me out for pizza a little while ago and I think it is exactly what I needed, more so for the fresh air than the pizza (although the pizza was appreciated just the same). I am tired of being tired, and I am tired of being sick.

Ever onward. But for now, I'm going back to bed.

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Colour of Love

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

For my beloved:

Show me the colour of love
Somehow it seems like a sign from above
Get closer
Love is all we need
The colour of love

I have been watching you all night
I know you can feel it too
I'm trembling inside
I love you

Back in time we met
Those days we had I'll never forget
I can't live without you
A love so true

Show me the colour of love
Somehow it seems like a sign from above
Get closer
Love is all we need
The colour of love

True love is what you've given me
I'll be there if you feel the same
You're the one I see
There's no shame

Back in time we met
Those days we had I'll never forget
I can't live without you
A love so true

Show me the colour of love
Somehow it seems like a sign from above
Get closer
Love is all we need
The colour of love

Back in time we met
Those days we had I'll never forget
I can't live without you
A love so true

Show me the colour of love
Somehow it seems like a sign from above
Get closer
Love is all we need
The colour of love

"Colour of Love" - Amber MC Cremers

+++

All right, now that we have that out of the way, and now that we have removed all doubt as to how I feel about John... Allow me to elaborate on my absence of late. I am ill. Very ill. I am on some heavy-duty medication that makes me very tired and upsets my stomach worse than the flu ever has done. I am in DC again, this time under the watchful eye of my best friend who is taking good care of me while the doctors figure out what they need to do for me.

I feel like utter crap right now, in a physical sense. Fortunately, that's not especially important in the grand scheme of things. Unfortunately, I haven't the kind of energy levels to which I am accustomed, so I am offline most of the time - I've not read email in weeks.

To those of you that find this JE (and some of John's JEs) sticky-sweet....oh well. Sometimes that happens. He's worth it, and I'll not hide my feelings.

Please take good care of him for me while I'm away.

- Koria

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Long long journey

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

For my beloved:

City lights shine on the harbor
Night has fallen down
Through the darkness and the shadow
I will still go on

Long Long Journey
Through the darkness
Long Long way to go
But what are paths across the ocean to the heart that's coming home?

Where the road runs through the valley
Where the river flows
I will follow every highway
To the place I know

Long Long Journey
Through the darkness
Long Long way to go
But what are paths across the ocean to the heart that's coming home?

Long Long Journey
I don't know where
Long Long way to go
But what are sighs and what is sadness to the heart that's coming home?

Long Long Journey
Through the darkness
Long Long way to go
But what are paths across the ocean to the heart that's coming home?

Long Long Journey
I don't know where
Long Long way to go
But what are sighs and what is sadness to the heart that's coming home?

"Long Long Journey", by Eithne Patricia Ní Bhraonain

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KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Much is happening to me and with me, and not all of it is to my liking. I am exhausted, frustrated, and lost.

I am far from home, although I am not sure what place I consider home right now. I am, for all intents and purposes, drifting along without a sail on rough seas, trying to figure out what I feel and how I should feel. There are several possibilities, and many of them bring out a deep, seething fear that I cannot conquer. As such I have embarked on a trek to find the stability I need, so that I can realign my compass and make the decisions I need. My faith has been shaken through this, and I am not sure when the rain will stop and when the winds will die down. Please be patient with me.

I've not had opportunity to check my email, but I will get to it when I am grounded again. To anyone who has sent messages to me, I apologize for the lack of response, but know that I am without regular access to the net.

A couple of you will say that I am being unfair, that no one is an island and that you need your friends and family to help when life becomes overhwelmingly difficult. Unfortunately, I would have to agree. Such is the way life ebbs and flows on occasion. I cannot deal with it right now.

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Yes, she has completely lost it....

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Hello world here's a song that we're singing
Come on get happy
A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringing
We'll make you happy

We had a dream we'd go travelin' together
And spread a little lovin', then we keep moving on
Something always happens whenever we're together
We get a happy feeling when we're singing a song

Travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'
Come on get happy
A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringin'
We'll make you happy
We'll make you happy
We'll make you happy

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Better; gearing up for the move

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

All right, I had a bad weekend. It's better now and I have worked out the problem to my satisfaction. Sometimes I do really dumb things; this past weekend would be a shining example of such.

I am still gearing up for the move. I have most of my stuff packed and it is a matter of just getting a few more things done here. Namely, I have a few more things to pack, a refrigerator and oven to clean, and a bedroom or two to paint. My best friend has been a big help already, and I am calling on her again to come over to help.

If all goes according to plan, I will be done in a few more days and will be out by the beginning of next week.

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Everyone sing with me...

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose
And to pretend
She's over bored
And self assured
I know, I know
A dirty word

Hello hello hello hel-lo
Hello hello hello hel-lo
Hello hello hello hel-lo
Hello hello hello

With the lights out
It's less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid
And contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yeah

(hey)

(hey)

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello

With the lights out
It's less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid
And contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yeah

(hey)

(hey)

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
It's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello hel-lo
hello hello hello

With the lights out
It's less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid
And contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido

A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial,
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial,
A denial.

-- Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

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Felled Where She Stood

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 7 years ago

Another day I call and never speak
And you would say nothing's changed at all
And I can't feel much hope for anything
If I won't be there to catch you if you fall

Again (oh again)
It seems we meet (meet and mend)
In the spaces (spaces safe)
In between (between intent)
We always say (say too much)
Won't be long (long been gone)
Oh, but something's always wrong

Another game of putting things aside
As if we'll come back to them sometime
A brace of hope, a pride of innocence
And you would say something has gone wrong

Oh again (again we fail)
Seems we meet (make amends)
In the spaces (wend our way)
In between (between each end)
We always say (looking back)
Won't be long (moving on)
Oh but something's always wrong

And again (again we fail)
Seems we meet (meet amends)
In the spaces (spaces safe)
In between (between each end)
We always say (say too much)
Won't be long (long been gone)
Oh, but something's always wrong
Something's always wrong
Something's always wrong

-- Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Something's Always Wrong"

In a nutshell, a horrible morning. I hope everyone's weekend starts off better than mine has done.

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Echo Chamber

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

This morning I have a tune that I cannot escape, "Remover" by Carlo Resoort. It is an instrumental techno piece, and for whatever reason I am into it. So, as I've the house to myself and I've no one to whom I need to answer here, I decided to crank it up. With a lot of my things in boxes or already gone, I have the echo chamber effect and it makes it that much more intoxicating for me. When it ends - deafening silence, almost unnerving.

This one is quickly becoming a favorite.

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Butterfly

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

I spent the weekend with my parents again, and I had an interesting experience while there. My mother feeds the hummingbirds, and she still has her feeders stocked and hung. I was looking out the kitchen window this morning and noticed something odd about the feeder, and finally figured out that which I was seeing - an enormous blue and black butterfly (no idea of the species) had settled on the hummingbird feeder and was helping itself. It sat there for quite a while, then whimsically fluttered off.

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Wild dream

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

So last night I had the coolest dream ever.

My dream was all about ellem. He was wearing butter flavored spandex tights and was suspended from the ceiling fan over the bed by a bungee cord. He was playing a kazoo to the tune of "Come On, Get Happy" by the Partridge Family, serenading a mountain goat, while guzzling Wild Turkey like it was water.

Next to the bed was a power drill which he had just used on himself to take care of a little constipation issue, and piled on the nightstand was a stack of Seventeen magazine back issues.

You are so cool, ellem. ;)

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And then there was one

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Last night, I ended my relationship with my former coworker - the one who left flowers on my desk. There are too many variables playing in to the equation, and while he was very kind and sweet to me, he finally grew weary of my divided heart.

I'm a bit blue this morning. :(

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Realtor

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

This afternoon I had an appointment with a realtor, who came to my house and did a quick appraisal. She was very pleased with what she saw, and I was very pleased with what she thought I could ask for my house - the value has more than doubled since I bought it. This affords me even more time to figure out in which direction I am headed.

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Song Dedications

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Let us assume for a moment that you can sing, and you want to sing a special song for your significant other. What song would you select? If you couldn't sing it, what song would you dedicate?

I would select "Every Time You Need Me" by Fragma.

Everytime you need me
You know I'll be there
You know I really care
Say you will
Say you dare

And when a feeling comes around
Let it sparkle and let it shine
Let it lift you off the ground
Make it last, baby make it mine

You are the sun that rises
You are the moon that lights the night
You are what paralyses me

Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
You know I really care
Say you will
Say you dare
Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
A love beyond compare
Say you will
Say you care

Write my name into the sky
And keep the memories in your heart
Let the hours pass us by
I guess that this is a way to start

You are full of surprises
You are a fire burning bright
You are what mesmerises me

Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
You know I really care
Say you will
Say you dare
Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
A love beyond compare
Say you will
Say you care

Say you dare...
Say you dare....
Say you dare.....
No no, no no

Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
You know I really care
Say you will
Say you dare
Everytime you need me
You know I will be there
A love beyond compare
Say you will
Say you care

Ok, this will likely be my last music-related JE for a bit... Time to get on to something else.

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So in love

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

At the moment I am listening to "So in Love", by Kate Ryan, after a rather gratifying afternoon nap:

I'm so enraptured by the thought of yesterday
You and me all alone in a quiet empty place
I close my eyes and pray this magic never ends
I rewind in my mind so I feel your touch again

I don't know what to do
But I know that it feels so right
And the way that you move keeps me going through the night.

And it feels like flying
And it feels so exciting
I don't know what to do
But I know that it feels so right

So in love when we're together
So in love and I lose control
So in love when you hold me tight and I look into your eyes

So in love when we're together
So in love and I lose control
So in love when you hold me tight and I look into your eyes

I dedicate my love to you and no one else
You have captured my heart like a shadow in the dark

I don't know what to do
But I know that it feels so right
And the way that you move keeps me going through the night.

And it feels like flying
And it feels so exciting
I don't know what to do
But I know that it feels so right

So in love when we're together
So in love and I lose control
So in love when you hold me tight and I look into your eyes
So in love

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Deer

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Yesterday afternoon I was standing out on the deck while visiting my parents. There is a woodsy area behind the house, not far at all. I was enjoying a quiet moment there, when a deer wandered out from the woods, seemingly oblivious to me as she strolled by gracefully. She stopped to look at me for a moment, then wandered off as if I was of no interest.

She was startlingly tame. Normally, I've seen deer bolt when they even think anyone is around, but this one got surprisingly close. I doubt I could have coaxed her to within 10 feet, but she was less than 10 yards away from me when she stopped to study me for that short moment.

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So, what's in my playlist for today?

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Secret Garden - Adagio
Secret Garden - Always There (feat. Russell Watson)
Secret Garden - Appassionata
Secret Garden - Aquarell
Secret Garden - Aria
Secret Garden - Atlantia
Secret Garden - Awakening
Secret Garden - Belonging
Secret Garden - Cantoluna
Secret Garden - Celebration
Secret Garden - Chaconne
Secret Garden - Children of the River
Secret Garden - Daughters Of Erin
Secret Garden - Dawn of a New Century
Secret Garden - Divertimento
Secret Garden - Dreamcatcher
Secret Garden - Duo
Secret Garden - Elan
Secret Garden - Elegie
Secret Garden - Escape
Secret Garden - Evensong
Secret Garden - Fairytale
Secret Garden - Fields Of Fortune
Secret Garden - First Day Of Spring
Secret Garden - Gates Of Dawn
Secret Garden - Grace
Secret Garden - Greenwaves
Secret Garden - Half A World Away
Secret Garden - Heartstrings
Secret Garden - Home
Secret Garden - Hymn To Hope
Secret Garden - Illumination
Secret Garden - In Our Tears
Secret Garden - Invitation
Secret Garden - Last Present (Sun-Mool)
Secret Garden - Lore of the Loom
Secret Garden - Lotus
Secret Garden - Moongate
Secret Garden - Moving
Secret Garden - Nocturne
Secret Garden - Ode to Simplicity
Secret Garden - Once In A Red Moon
Secret Garden - Papillon
Secret Garden - Passacaglia
Secret Garden - Pastorale
Secret Garden - Poeme
Secret Garden - Prayer
Secret Garden - Raise Your Voices
Secret Garden - Reflection
Secret Garden - Sanctuary
Secret Garden - Searching For The Past
Secret Garden - Serenade to Spring
Secret Garden - Sigma
Secret Garden - Silent Wings
Secret Garden - Sleepsong (for my beloved)
Secret Garden - Sometimes When It Rains
Secret Garden - Sona
Secret Garden - Song from a Secret Garden
Secret Garden - Steps
Secret Garden - The Promise
Secret Garden - The Rap
Secret Garden - The Reel
Secret Garden - When Darkness Falls
Secret Garden - Windancer
Secret Garden - You Raise Me Up

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Final work week

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

I am nearing the end of my work week here, and I cannot say that I am too terribly sad about it. I will miss the routine of getting up in the morning, and I will miss the people with whom I have worked here, but I will not miss the aggravation of being on a project for which I consider myself poorly suited.

After this week has ended, I will spend some time with my parents in Maryland as I look for a new place. I have been working steadily on getting my stuff at home organized, and I hope to have the house on the market within a couple of weeks.

I met with my regular doctor this week and he was a bit startled at all that had transpired. He offered words of encouragement, but he also concurred with the doctors at the hospital - it is time to slow down and ease the stress for a while.

Money-wise, I am fine. I have been blessed with decent money-management skills and I have enough saved that I can make it for a while. I am not in a huge rush to find a new job, although for insurance reasons I will need one in the not-too-distant future.

I realize that I promised to write some fiction in here. I've not forgotten my promise. Be patient with me. There is much happeneing now that requires priority handling.

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Beloved

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow
Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet
And may you need never to banish misfortune
May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

May you bring love and may you bring happiness
Be loved in return to the end of your days
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Secret Garden, "Sleepsong"

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Change

KoriaDesevis KoriaDesevis writes  |  more than 8 years ago

About a week ago I had a health scare that put me in the hospital. I am all right now, but the experience opened my eyes a bit to the way I have done things. I'd just as soon not get specific about the overall experience, but I will summarize it like this - I need to lower my anxiety and stress levels a bit.

This morning, I am handing in my resignation to my employer. I like the routine of having a job, but I don't *need* this job. Since my job is a source of frustration right now, it's on the hit list.

I will be selling my house and leaving Washington DC. I've talked this over with my parents and they have agreed to let me stay with them for a short while, until I buy a new place which will be somewhere more rural and slower-paced than metropolis. I am hopeful that I can be closer to them geographically, but I am not wanting to be on their doorstep. It is nice to know that they well be in striking range should I need them, though.

Once I am settled I will be looking at finding a job that suits me. Financially I will be fine for a while, so there is not a rush there.

I will be posting less for obvious reasons. I am not going away but I will be participating a lot less than I have in the past, while I figure out my new situation.

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