Obama Team Considers Cancellation of Ares, Orion
When you vote with your dollars, whoever has the most money gets the most votes.
Basically, you're telling the poor to get fucked.
The Pocket-Sized Projector Has Arrived
After eight years of suffering under Bush, we finally have a new President - Barack Hussein Obama. America as we know it has changed forever. Now that the arduous campaign has ended, President-elect Obama can begin preparing for governance. After working with the Bush administration to ensure a smooth transition of power, the Obama administration will need to begin the process of healing a sorely divided country.
To this end, the most important priority for an incoming Obama administration needs to be education. Children need to learn from an early age about his glorious struggle for the presidency, with fantastical accounts of how the courageous Obama defeated first the mighty Hillary machine, then a time-tested McCain with only the power of Hope, bringing an end to racism once and for all. Most importantly, we need to impress on them the urgency of supporting our leader in this important period of change and opportunity, and during his subsequent administrations.
However, children are not the only ones in need of more education. Many adults, bitterly clinging to their guns and bibles, are expecting the worst from an Obama presidency. Rather than confirm their worst fears, we should take steps to educate these confused, bigoted and ignorant people.
The most difficult aspect of this will be convincing these counter-Obama Americans to attend the educational seminars. The practical solution is to keep a central list of registered Republicans, being sure to take note of vocal conservatives both in print and on the web. Camps will then be constructed outside of the educational facilities, with separate areas constructed for med, women and children so as to maximize efficiency without the distraction of family. While many may protest at first, after being exposed to the educational program, they will soon come to realize that Obama only has their best interest at heart.
Of coarse, the first concern most conservatives will have about this plan will be, "how are we going to pay for it?", and rightly so. With our economy near ruin and our budget out of control, the next President will have to take fiscal responsibility seriously. Thankfully, this will not be an unfunded mandate; money will come from two sources.
First, taxes will be raised on certain businesses, primarily on tradesmen such as carpenters and plumbers. In the new Obama economy, these trades will take a back seat to the sate-run endeavors that will bring about 0% unemployment. Secondly, subjects in the camps will work approximately 80 hours a week on public works projects in addition to their rigorous educational schedule. This will not only eliminate the need for external funding, but will provide labor and funding for other Obama programs.
Two days after the election of the first black President, I only hope that all Americans, regardless of their current political orientation, can put the hate behind us and get behind our new leader. Thank you and god bless.
Louisiana Passes Intelligent Design Law
Public school teachers have no right to teach "alternate views" based on mythology and superstition. If a chemistry teacher starts teaching alchemy, they should be fired for incompetence. Same goes for a science teacher trying to teach Intelligent Design.
66% Apple Market Share For Sales of High-End PCs
Studies show that 66% of Mac users are sexually aroused by homo-erotic images.