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The Definitive Evisceration of The Phantom Menace *NSFW*

Maserati Re:Why a decade later (629 comments)

I managed to see an episode. Don't bother tracking it down, it sucks... well, balls.

Put me down for opening night of Jews in Space though.

about 5 years ago
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USB-IF Slaps Palm In iTunes Spat

Maserati Re:apple - the most anti-open company (600 comments)

At the very least Palm would need to strip all the USB logos from all of their products.

That's probably all they can do, actually.

And it would be a real pain in the ass for Palm to do. They'd have to re-design their packaging and promotional materials to get rid of the USB logo, they may even need to edit the copy to remove some references to USB compatibility. This costs money and takes time. Then they have to recall all their product in the sales channel and all the promotional material. This costs Palm more time and money and it also costs time and money for their channel partners.

You think Sprint is going to be happy to round up and ship out all the Pre boxes, flyers, endcaps, and other materials in every single on of their retail locations and warehouses ? No they will not, they'll probably send Palm a bill for it.

How about Verizon or any other carrier working on bringing Palm WebOS devices to market ? They have to stop, destroy or return materials and make new versions of *everything* Palm related. If there's a "will be available" clause in the contracts, the new carriers might be in a position to re-negotiate and get a better deal for themselves.

Worse even than damaging the relationship with the cell carriers who are essential to Palm's survival is the period of time in which the Pre (or Pixie or whatever else is coming) is simply unavailable to buy. Let's start with the fact that some people will simply delay replacing a Treo for a while, but people simply shopping for "a smartphone" will buy something else; be honest now, who here would think "we'll buy something next month, Palm is just doing a minor product recall".

Let's say it takes a month to repackage everything without the USB logo. That's a whole month with *no* revenue from WebOS devices. US$0.00. That probably won't put Palm out of business by itself, but it will hurt. Businesses NEED to make payroll, they need to pay their bills (every line item for "late fee" is money they just pissed away) and missing loan payments not only adds late fees but can make it harder or more expensive to obtain credit. And the stock price is usually not directly tied to line-of-business operations, but missing a month's revenue and thereby a quarterly earnings estimate will hit a lot of people in the pocketbook.

Prediction: Palm will cave, they're in too precarious a position to take on the huge load of shit removing the USB logo from their packaging would be.

more than 5 years ago
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Disney Buys Marvel

Maserati Re:Fox and New Corp (423 comments)

Also, Marvel/Pixar = WIN.

That's the first thing I thought of. Because that would be fucking awesome.

more than 5 years ago
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Hitler's Stealth Fighter

Maserati Re:Hehe (582 comments)

Hmm. Yeah. A PHB that can have you taken away, tortured and executed.

Hitler just got a lot more scary for me.

more than 5 years ago
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Special Effects Lessons From JJ Abrams' Star Trek

Maserati Re:some of those goofs are goofy (461 comments)

The Kelvin had a window, the captain orders it to be polarized at which point the bright light shining in is dimmed down to a viewable level. The Enterprise had a viewscreen. I conclude that because when it started to crack during the escape from the black hole at the end of the film, the air didn't start leaking out.

more than 5 years ago
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Special Effects Lessons From JJ Abrams' Star Trek

Maserati Re:i hate stupid bad guys (461 comments)

You missed the line where Nero says he doesn't just want to save his planet, but to destroy the Federation to clear the path for the Romulan Empire. And to cause Spock and the Vulcans as much pain as he can.

He also isn't a genius like, oh, Khan. Just a guy doing a job who feels betrayed by those who promised to save his planet and his family. And went completely nuts. Honestly, Bana's delivery on "Hello Christopher, I'm Nero" should have been subtitled "I'm a crazy person, how are you ?" It came through, for my friends and I anyway, as a well delivered line intended to convey that Nero is nuttier than a squirrel's pantry.

And they left a few important background scenes out of the theatrical cut, which is worse than the lens flares, shaky cam and overly quick editing.

more than 5 years ago
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The Best Achievements

Maserati Re:Sort of (107 comments)

Funny, TF2 has a "griefing" Achievement:

BarbeQueQ: Cause a dominated player to leave the server.

Pyro only. I definitely want this one.

more than 5 years ago
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Is a $72.5m Opening Weekend Enough For Star Trek?

Maserati Re:Screw your alternative timeline! (820 comments)

Naval officer "cadets" joined the navy at around age 12 throughout the entire Wooden Walls period (2 centuries). So every officer at the battle of Trafalgar had been in the navy and at sea since before they were old enough to shave.

more than 5 years ago
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Is a $72.5m Opening Weekend Enough For Star Trek?

Maserati Re:A Message From a Loyal Fan (820 comments)

Kirk was also older than most of the academy graduates, his adult life prior to entering the Academy can be summed up as "the only genius-level repeat offender in Iowa". But he'd also done SOME studying, since he was conversant with Uhura's specialty. A stretch, but not as bad as a 21-year old cadet on academic suspension taking the captain's chair.

more than 5 years ago
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Nuclear Testing Helps Identify Fake Vintage Whiskey

Maserati Re:Taste (366 comments)

The one that kills me is the Trader Joes label Macallan 12. They had that for $25 a few years ago. Twenty Five Dollars (US) for a Macallan 12. They stopped carrying it, nobody looked at the label closely enough to see what it really was and so sales were terrible. My local Costco has the 12 for $38, but I still wish I'd had the cash to lay in a couple of cases for $25/bottle. Tragic, really.

more than 5 years ago
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Star Trek Game To Launch Alongside New Movie

Maserati Re:Begin is BACK! (82 comments)

That actually looks promising, thanks for the link.

more than 5 years ago
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A Cyber-Attack On an American City

Maserati Re:Hams FTW (461 comments)

"Morris code" implies Morse Dancing. Which added a little hilarity to my afternoon.

more than 5 years ago
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Battlestar Galactica Comes To an End

Maserati it rocked (852 comments)

excellent ending

more than 5 years ago
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Apple Claims That Jail-Breaking Is Illegal

Maserati Re:Apple has a problem with this...... (610 comments)

Nope, any price you like. I think Apple has standardized on $x.99 pricing, but you can go as high as you like. I've seen specialist dictionaries on the store listed for $19.99 or more.

more than 5 years ago
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Apple Claims That Jail-Breaking Is Illegal

Maserati Re:Apple has a problem with this...... (610 comments)

That $99 also buys you a publishing and distribution deal, RIM has set up a software store but I'm not familiar with the terms. It's a safe bet that Apple's is seeing more traffic and dollars spent.

more than 5 years ago
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Warhammer Team Hit By Layoffs

Maserati Re:What was their target subscriber pool? (89 comments)

yeah, it's probably back to that. I've been out of the fleet scene in recent months, but word is the lagmonster has been defeated.

more than 5 years ago

Submissions

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Steven Brust wrote Firefly novel

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 6 years ago

Maserati writes "Popular fantasy author Steven Brust has released a fanfic Firefly novel. That's right, one of the most popular fantasy authors has written a whole novel based on Firefly. Set between the end of the series and the movie, this tells the story of a simple job complicated by "ghosts". Being Steven Brust the dialog is snappy, the action is fast paced, and there are exactly seventeen chapters. The book is available under the Creative Commons license and has been released in .pdf and .doc formats."
Link to Original Source

Journals

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Thoughts on Sony's 10-year PS3 plan

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 6 years ago

I have had a revelation. Sony isn't trying for 1st place in the console market, they're just trying to get a lot of BluRay players out there. The Cell processor is complicated enough that we'll see the capabilities of games grow over time much as we did with the PS2. First-gen PS2 games don't compare well to, say God of War and FF XII in terms of graphics.

By the time Microsoft and Nintendo are thinking about launching their next consoles, they'll have all the problems a console always has at launch (high price, few games). And the PS3 will be out there with a large installed base, dozens of good titles in the value packaging and their third generation games announced and being marketed if not actually sold. XBox 720 games will be up against MGS5, FF XV and God of War 5. They'll pump advertising into the games, not the console and sell as well against the next gen as the PS2 did (and is) against the 360 and Wii.

They're going to win the next console war and tide themselves over with BluRay dominance. Not a bad strategy.

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Apple-N

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 9 years ago

Ok, I give up.

People who've never called tech support from a Mac or hate rants can stop reading.

The standard Mac meta-key is the Command key. They're the ones next to the space bar with the funny symbol and an Apple[tm] logo on them. Apple calls 'em the Command key. The documentation calls it a Command key.

Say 'Command-N' to a luser [1]. Blank stare. Say 'Apple-N'. New window. Aaaaaaaaaargh.

Sometime this past weekend something died inside me [2]. I gave up. I'm calling it the Apple key now. Fine.

[1] This nomenclature issue is a really good clue-meter in Apple shops. Anyone who knows this has gotten used to keyboard shortcuts, and that's good on any OS.

[2] Not the worst that coulda happened, I have enough ex-girlfriends to make a maudlin drinking binge really unpleasant for my friends. This one went by in 2 seconds and was unnoticeable to the outside world.

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A real, live Heisenbug ?

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 9 years ago

I think I may have just run into a real live Heisenbug.

This showed up on Mac OS X 10.37 and Entourage 11.10. A user called, complaining that a batch of jpegs dragged from the attachment section of an email to Preview.app in the Dock opened in Photoshop instead of in a single window in Preview. He showed me what happened. In his case, the jpegs were tagged as Photoshop files so that makes a certain amount of sense, although I would expect preview to operate through the Dock as it does in the Finder - opening any image it can handle.

The part that does not make sense, is that dragging from Entourage to the Dock isn't supposed to work. Neither I nor a colleague can get it to do that on our machines, and it has now stopped working for the original user. I've told him not to mention it to anyone.

If anyone out there has a Mac with a patched-up Office 2004 running Panther, try it and let me know.

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Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 10 years ago

As a Mac user I've suspected it for years.

There's a previously uncataloged meme on Slashdot, and it's spreading. It's the $300 PC meme.

New iMac ? $300 PC

Computer for the kids ? $300 PC

No Linux games ? $300 PC

New tablet computer ? You guessed it...

Frank Stallone !

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I have achieved some sort of BS Slashdot milestone...

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 10 years ago

Ok, that's cool. I note that I now have a fan with a lower userID than mine. This would have taken a disturbingly long time if that sort of thing mattered.

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Third time's a charm

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 11 years ago

Here's a telemarketing situation where I'm just waiting for the payoff. Our office has several blocks of 100 numbers each, most of which aren't in use and are forwarded to the front desk (because a client may have an old number). Some months ago a mortgage company started autodialing our blocks. Our receptionist went from calm to frothing at the mouth in 60 seconds flat, and eveyone else was getting either a hangup call or a voicemail left for them.

I called the 800 number in the voicemail I personally received, got a manager on the line in record time (it helps if you sound like you want to confirm your satellite recon for the imminent airstrike) and explained that we had a block of numbers, that they were calling ALL of them and to please stop right-fucking-now. I then did the usual bit about do not call lists and a copy of the policy (which I never got). The do not call list was tough, since numbnuts didn't grok the "I have several hundred consecutive numbers" part very well.

The next day they did it again. I got another manager on the line, who was significantly less than understanding about the whole affair. In point of fact, he seemed dismissive of the whole fact that I had complained the day before and tha the was perhaps a bit offended that I was trying to interfere with his attempt to rescue a failing mortgage business. I reminded him about the FCC's $500 per call regulation and he got offended. Go figure. Apaprently the fact that the Federal government might put him out of business wasn't a factor in his worldview. I rang off.

And called the local police department and reported a couple hundred harassing phone calls. I leaned heavily on the second manager's attitude toward my request of the previous day and on his utter disregard for Federal codes covering his business. I named both managers in the complaint. These guys are less than fifty miles from us and in the same state, so it could happen.

We have a case number. Some day they'll screw up, and then a telemarketing manager will do the Perp Walk. I'll be sure to put whatever details I can on a website so we can all share the joy.

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Slashdot needs a "Bonehead" moderation

Maserati Maserati writes  |  more than 11 years ago

Or maybe a -1: No Sense of Humor option.

So I'll just declare a "foe" until then.

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