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Couchsurfing Hacked, Sends Airbnb Prank Spam

MillionthMonkey THE SPAMMER - EPISODE ONE (44 comments)

The police kicked down the door, breaking the glass and maneuvering through the room with guns drawn. The living room was empty. They searched the kitchen. Nothing. One of them kicked in the bedroom door and swung his assault rifle in a wide angle as he crashed through.

Immediately he saw that the floor was covered with spam. A computer's hard drive had exploded under pressure and was oozing a liquid discharge of strange attachments and cryptic URLs across the desk and onto the floor. " Couchsurfing sucks... here's a better couch!" they yelled, one after another. Then the fumes struck him.

Overwhelmed, he stumbled backward, spraying vomit across the living room as he fell. He lay on the spammy floor unconscious, convulsing, muttering the same thing over and over. "Delete... delete... delete... delete..." The other officers quickly ran out of the front door, dragging him along by the legs as they struggled to cover their eyes which were lachrymating upon exposure to the spam. One of the units outside called for backup and unwound a yellow tape labeled "POLICE LINE - DO NOT EMAIL" around the residence. A forensics van pulled up, and several officers strapped rubber gloves onto their hands and Pentagon-surplus armored spam filters on their faces. They reentered the building, treading lightly, taking flash photographs, and laboriously stuffing individual spam emails into each of 10,000,000 Ziploc bags.

About twenty minutes later, Detective Protagoniste and the Commissioner arrived at the scene in their unmarked car.

"Well, what do you make of this mess, Detective?" asked the Commissioner, as they approached the building. Protagoniste picked up one of the bags, and held it up to the light, and replied, "Commissioner, as of now, the spam's been caught... but not the Spammer!"

about a week ago

Historians Rediscover Einstein's Forgotten Model of the Universe

MillionthMonkey Re:But we ain't gonna have a Big Cruch, right ? (35 comments)

Heat death is scheduled to happen a googol years from now. If the Big Rip hypothesis is true then the universe's life is already a half over. Then dark energy expansion will successively disintegrate galaxies, then solar systems, planets, humans, atoms, and protons in a cataclysmic disaster.

about two weeks ago

Wikipedia Blocks 'Disruptive' Edits From US Congress

MillionthMonkey Wikipedia's page on the U.S. Constitution (165 comments)

Corporations are to be afforded the divine rights of human beings! [This article has multiple issues. Please help improvement or discuss these issues in chambers.]

(On the discussion page it looks like all the recent edits are coming from five guys at the Supreme Court.)

about a month ago

Nano-Pixels Hold Potential For Screens Far Denser Than Today's Best

MillionthMonkey Re:What's the point? (129 comments)

If the average human eye can't tell the slightest difference, what's the point of making displays that dense?

Maybe eagles want to watch TV too.

about a month and a half ago

Biohackers Are Engineering Yeast To Make THC

MillionthMonkey Re:I've been calling for this for 20+ years... (159 comments)

If we ever learn to design new genes and proteins quickly, there are a bunch of starter projects:

Give mold the ability to synthesize CBD and THC. It would motivate you to wash your dishes- so you can use a razor blade to scrape off a gooey film of cannabinoids from the slimy ceramic in your sink, puff away, develop the munchies again, refill the sink with dirty dishes, and complete the cycle.

Insert a couple genes into E Coli that can synthesize cannabinoids in your intestines, so you can get a buzz after eating regular brownies.

Give cows a few genes for synthesis of cannabinoids during lactation. THC milk would also go great with regular brownies.

Design a virus that invades the human nervous system and inserts genes into white matter cells to induce synthesis of Adderall.

Engineer mosquitos that have the ability to synthesize heroin.

Make puncturevines that synthesize injectable human vaccines for measles, mumps, pertussis, polio, flu, rubella. and accumulate them in those tack-shaped goathead seeds. Plant them near people who think vaccines cause autism. Also include genes for synthesizing tire sealant, so their needles stop blowing out my bike tires when they reach the curb.

Give chili peppers the ability to synthesize and retain methamphetamine. Pulverize them and you can get meth with that "Chili P signature" like Jesse was selling in the first episode of Breaking Bad.

Create bees that can successfully avoid any areas tainted with anything manufactured by Bayer.

Resurrect DNA from extinct giant bird Palagornis sandersi but modify the legs a little so that the birds can hold bombs and chemical weapons.

Design trees that grow both apples and oranges, so we can finally compare them.

about a month and a half ago

Biohackers Are Engineering Yeast To Make THC

MillionthMonkey Re:Printed THC (159 comments)

They should insert the THC gene into mold spores. It would motivate you to empty the sink so you can scrape the scum off the ceramic with a razor blade and roll it into a joint.

about a month and a half ago

Biohackers Are Engineering Yeast To Make THC

MillionthMonkey Printed THC (159 comments)

They are genetically engineering stuff to produce stuff that is already available? Benefit would be....?

I'm not going to bother with genetic engineering. I'm going to get a 3D printer, download THC.sdl and CBD.sdl, and print my own cannabinoids.

Which reminds me I also have to print a new bong because this one is starting to smell like yeast.

about a month and a half ago

Mars (One) Needs Payloads

MillionthMonkey Lego Mindstorms Projects (77 comments)

If there's one thing Mars doesn't have enough of, it's Legos.

about a month and a half ago

U.S. Supreme Court Upholds Religious Objections To Contraception

MillionthMonkey Worship at the Church of Wal-Mart! (1330 comments)

You can get 50% off all your groceries for a week! Faith holders earn points on every purchase that can be redeemed at any of our outlets in heaven! Switch your religion to Waltonism and start saving today!

(This offer does not apply to purchases of contraceptives.)

about 2 months ago

Facial Recognition Might Be Coming To Your Car

MillionthMonkey Re:Reliability? (131 comments)

If I had any friends at all, I wouldn't be getting so many black eyes.

about 2 months ago

New Chemical Process Could Make Ammonia a Practical Car Fuel

MillionthMonkey Re:waste of time (380 comments)

Every car gets 0 miles to the gallon unnecessarily stopped at a light.

I'm wondering, instead of using red/green switches at intersections, maybe we can have the cars drive through diffraction plates set up around the intersection. Then the wavefunction of you and car can spread out into the intersection via diffraction and arrive randomly into one of several quantum states (outbound lanes) which head toward your destination. If we made cars and their drivers out of bosons instead of fermions, it might work. Only one fermion can occupy any given quantum state. So with fermionic cars, there's always a small probability of quantum entanglement within the intersection between you and some other guy trying to make a left.

about 2 months ago

Smartphones To Monitor Schizophrenics

MillionthMonkey Re:controlling words (99 comments)

Lots of people accuse psychiatrists in general of running a fraudulent pseudoscience. Aside from the issue of whether it's true or not, the accusations seem mostly to come from people who have recently stopped taking their meds cold turkey.

about 2 months ago

As Crypto Mining Grows, Data Centers Begin Accepting Bitcoin

MillionthMonkey Re:What a dumb waste of energy... (94 comments)

OK, I think you see the point, that wasting electricity is one reason why the life of the bitcoin protocol should be kept as short as possible. A better-designed protocol might not need this phase of heavy computation at all. Instead of paying money to an electric company, you might do something else with it to get new "coins". The challenge there would be getting around the need for a certifying authority.

about 3 months ago

As Crypto Mining Grows, Data Centers Begin Accepting Bitcoin

MillionthMonkey Re:What a dumb waste of energy... (94 comments)

Nobody's stopping you from unplugging your computer, or are they? But this isn't about "we" can do. It's about other people doing things you don't like them to do, such as leaving their computers running performing work you deem unworthy.

Uh huh. Me and 97% of climate scientists.

about 3 months ago

As Crypto Mining Grows, Data Centers Begin Accepting Bitcoin

MillionthMonkey Re:What a dumb waste of energy... (94 comments)

Why is this so hard for everyone to understand? Why is the idea of wanting to unplug our computers before bedtime so alien to everybody? Running a computer all day to mine a Bitcoin yields nothing to the world except a big finite number and some CO2.

Money is needed as a way for people to handle the flow of resources, not just for handling more money. Dollars can also be handled electronically. They do not consume natural resources when printed except for the piece of paper. A dollar doesn't derive its value from a scarcity of paper.

Mining Bitcoins is environmentally destructive. As time goes on and the keys get exponentially sparser, the system nominally sustains expansion of its monetary base by surfing on Moore's Law forever- which is a failure point since electrical power is becoming the rate limiting factor to Bitcoin production. Bitcoins are a currency that requires cotinuous destruction of real resources just to sustain its monetary base.

These comparisons to running a bank branches are weird. It's not as simple as the "total energy consumed per dollar/Bitcoin transaction". We need bank branches because the public actually has dollars to put in them. Bitcoins are mined by suckers within the scheme, immediately enter the financial stratosphere, and are rarely seen by the public afterwards, simply because they're volatile and not safe long-term investments. Skyscrapers wouldn't disappear or go dark if people used Bitcoins instead of dollars. Bank branches will not close; the public need for them will still exist.

The inherent energy inefficiencies in transferring and handling ordinary money within bank branches is generally considered a nuisance, not a founding principle behind the currency's supposed value. People want dollars because they can be traded, not because finding them consumed someone a lot of work. The energy inefficiencies involved with handling money itself are generally considered to be a nuisance, something to avoid. but now we're sowing a new currency based on the kilowatt-hours that must be wasted by minting it. A Bitcoin economy makes resource scarcity worse to deal with, and it's a bad currency with no usefulness to the vast majority of us.

about 3 months ago

As Crypto Mining Grows, Data Centers Begin Accepting Bitcoin

MillionthMonkey What a dumb waste of energy... (94 comments)

Bitcoin mining is for suckers. It barely covers the cost of electricity. Plowing through large swaths of finite numbers, chugging along 24/7 puzzling away, is the stupidest excuse imaginable for damaging the environment. Can we just move to a system where you freeze a block of dry ice, launch it into space, and get a newly minted Bitcoin?

about 3 months ago

As Crypto Mining Grows, Data Centers Begin Accepting Bitcoin

MillionthMonkey Re:Why would they accepts fantasy money? (94 comments)

Of all ways to attack Republicans, you're ranting about "Monopoly Money"??? Back to Twitter with ye!

about 3 months ago

Not A Hoverboard, but Close (Video)

MillionthMonkey Re:For pecular values of close. (66 comments)

Until the IRS realizes the irich guy never paid the income tax on that penny.

about 3 months ago

Chromecast Support Coming To Mobile Firefox

MillionthMonkey Re:Only for mobile Firefox (26 comments)

Is there any technical reason why the desktop Firefox can't / won't support ChromeCast???

Have you asked Google?

about 3 months ago



MillionthMonkey MillionthMonkey writes  |  more than 7 years ago

MillionthMonkey writes "Internet star Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK), has been implicated in scandal: according to the Anchorage Daily News the senator had the first floor of his house lifted off the ground and a new floor put underneath it with the help of a top executive from Veco Corporation, a local oil company. The addition doubled the size of the house (assuming the honorable gentleman from Alaska can still make it up the stairs). The FBI and a grand jury are still investigating- although the Senator's role is still somewhat murky in the scandal, which had previously ensnared his son, Ben Stevens, an Alaskan State Senator. The initial inquiry surfaced last year in August when the younger Stevens' legislative office was raided by the FBI along with five other state-level offices. Four politicians have been charged and Veco executives have already pled guilty- testifying that Ben Stevens received $242,000 in illegitimate consulting fees. Ted has remained clean until now."


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