Work and life - reaching Equilibrioception
So, it happened.
Did you read the previous journal entry? Why...oh my ego, of course you didn't. It's just my ramblings, and it shall probably always remain that way, nevertheless, here you go. What happened? Did I finally manage to reach my goal of not working for the rest of my life? Being free? Not indebted by society?
Well, I sort of did, but a goal can always be expanded, there's no prize worth fighting over if it isn't worthwhile, and ideal worth fighting for would be ever lasting happiness, how YOU define your happiness - I'll leave up to you. I however...define my happiness on how much I can enjoy while being alive as we know it, this doesn't have to include cruise-ships, endless travels across the world, but simply enjoying life as we know it, as I know it.
Now, 4 years later than when I wrote that last journal...or was it 3 years? Time here...doesn't really matter, because I did in fact reach my core essence of my previous goal, peace and tranquility without the control of others, no one that I know of now control my life, I moved to a different country, I had the one success after the other, and now I'm completely independent, own my own house, land, and all debts have been paid down and the only thing that can happen now are two WIN WIN situations:
I will get unemployed, but still own my land, and have no dept, I have enough to buy food and pay for heating in my own giant 300m2 place, WIN = I have plenty of time for my private science research, and are dependent on no one, no welfare, no insurance, just myself and mother nature.
I will get continuous employment (yes, as of this writing, I am still employed, but still a bit edgy as a person...remember...I am who I am, no man, no animal, no beast controls me, I am a slave to no one), and I do so on my very own will, you see...I am an expert on what I do, and I like it, so I earn money on it, working for someone else...but the condition and rules are different from when I was poor.
When I was poor, I had no home, just a lot of debt, and no freedom. If I choose freedom (aka no employment) back then, I'd have no real freedom as I'd just be a bum, or pay the bills with forced employment (social welfare = forced cheap labor), and that's no real option to me..hence why I moved abroad...escaped...in the first place, no human, no beast can control me.
I realized I got to fight for it, just like millions before me, so I finally got a chance, I got a home, fully paid, no debt, and started to work away all the debt I had from education and all that, still...not liking my employers...(I never truly have, any employer), managed to hold out, and survive enough here in my new country to survive and still keep my new house (it's old..but new to me) without taking up loans. Now I'm steadily working up my account, earning and working hard...but moving with light speed towards freedom.
And the best part? I'm well and truly free. Never before could I just quit my job if I didn't like it without risking it all, now I can. Now That's job satisfaction!
Yes ladies and gents, I'm finally free.
I don't want to work!
No, really - I do not want to work.
Basically everyone works, it is the way of our life - that is what our planet is based on and that's what most people aspire to do. I'm 40 years "young" now, I don't see me as old...I look pretty much the same as I've looked the last 20 years (at least I think so) ;) but that's besides the point I'm trying to make here. Heck...I really don't care if you get it or not, follow if you like.
I was sitting here in my home thinking over my life past the 20 years or so of work and unemployment in my life, not to mention the countless times I've googled about people and their job satisfaction or basically they overall satisfaction with life itself, I am really wasting my precious time on this planet. Sure - If everyone got the idea that they shouldn't work - this planet would probably come to an end pretty quickly, or would it? There will always be people like me - the odd ones out, so I think we're going to be fine.
When I go to work, I'm not happy, no no...I really like the line of work I'm in - but I end up disliking the people around me simply because they always seem to have some kind of hidden agenda, especially females, maybe it's just me who's getting old and "outdated" when it comes to the "in-crowd" or it's just bad luck - I really don't know (even though most people would look at this from their own point of view...don't think for a second I'm any different on that subject)...however - I really try to be - really!
The inevitable question on this would probably be something like: Why? I can't really answer that in one go, you'd have to live my life to answer that one, and even I have a hard time answering it. But you know what? I'm pretty tired of having a "hard-time". I want to have a good time....alas...a good life and I am tired of living by everyones "norms" on how-to-be..and how-to-behave. I'm not anarchistic, I prefer well educated company and also prefer people who are capable of thinking for themselves, I am also not shallow enough to only hang out with my peers - but will gladly hang out with societys dimmest of souls if they have a good heart, this however - doesn't always fall into fertile ground with the "ins".
All of this + my life experiences so far has led me to the conclusion that I really should not work. I don't want to become some
kind of loner sadly locked up by himself, barred behind some closed curtains in his technologically insane castle, I really DO want to meet people, feel the pulse as always, but I am sick and tired of being steered into whatever direction certain people feel like
they can do "with me" if allowed to do so by a certain work related situation - and this have happened repeatedly trough out my
life (and according to google & a gazillion work-rant sites) so there must be something wrong somewhere, we must be doing SOMETHING
wrong. Now...If you are thinking this trough - and these things never really hit you as it has hit me or other people then you may not be capable of judging the situation so please overlook it, you can't get it - really...you can't!
But I do realize that I must do something about my current situation, and I most certainly will - because I am really fed up
with people incompetence and "normalcy" to the brinck of madness, so instead of going there - I will "fight" towards enjoying life to its fullest and stop destroying myself on behalf of others.
That is all - move along now....