Bastardizing the English Language is for...
Bastardizing the English Language is for Dummies, Idiots, Terrorists, and Cannibals
There are many people that think that text speak, abbreviating, and simplifying English bastardizes it. They are mostly English professors, teachers, and people anal retentive on grammatical conventions. Well, I would like to be the first one that will say they are absolutely correct! But first, a definition of bastardization.
Bastardization is a term used as a negative connotation in most cases, and it isn't hard to see why. By authority of Princeton's WordNet, the verb "bastardize" means "[to] change something so that its value declines; for example, art forms" (http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=bastardize).
So, let's tackle each "version" of the English language (excluding locale variations) that do any thing from degrading American values to eating babies and funding terrorists.
We will start with 1337sp34k ("1337" is from "leet" is from "elite"; in use with the combination "speak" to mean to speak like an elite). Henceforth, it will be called "1337" for brevity. 1337 started at the dawn of the Internet when scum-of-the-Earth hackers didn't want their websites to be found by a simple search engine, so they morphed certain ASCII alphabetic characters into numeric characters. An example of this horrible 1337 would be "0mg i r t3h h4x0rz! r0x0rs my b0x0rs!!1!111!!1!!1!!0n30n3313v3n", which translates to "Oh my God! I am a hacker! Rock my boxers!!!". Be wary! may be fairly few in numbers, but they are a threat, no doubt! Using 1337 supports hackers who without doubt support criminal things like terrorism and cannibalism! Those bastards need to stop bastardizing the English language at once for our children's sake!
Next we have abbreviations. While the standard abbreviation has seemingly morphed from having periods in-between each letter to dropping such (e.g. "U.S.A." to USA), there are now abbreviations used in both 1337 and text speak that follow horrible practices. For example, there is now "gtg" which means "Got to go". It used to be capitalized, but now grammar terrorists have dropped all casing because of laziness. This, ladies and gentlemen, is very immoral, and should be stopped! Save the Earth, capitalize all acronyms!
Finally, we have the most-used practice of all. It is common among over 86 million people in the USA (http://www.cellsigns.com/industry.shtml). It is called "text speak". It is a horrible practice that drops vowels, has no capitalization, and has a distinct lack of punctuation of any sort. Every time one uses text speak, it sends the English language into a perpetual decline. This, ladies and gentlemen, shall corrupt our innocent children, put crime in the streets, and encourage sexual relations because it will teach kids to be too lazy to uphold our moral values!
So, fellow citizens, I ask you to uphold what is right, what is moral, and what is socially okay and use correct grammar and to fulfill the common good sentence structure! I ask you to press peer pressure among those with bad grammar, and to shun coworkers that have no sense of sentence sensibility!