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Comments

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Unemployment

Profane MuthaFucka The secret police (51 comments)

You know they've visited when you find a fat job offer on your desk. And you'd be smart to take it. Myself, I was a young dissident, prepared to set fire to the world just to watch it burn. But then, a friend of my father's offered me a job with possibility for advancement. I quickly abandoned my silly ideas of changing the world, bring justice to the people. Shouting the truth from the tops of buildings is for chumps.

more than 2 years ago
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Neil Armstrong To NASA: You're Embarrassing

Profane MuthaFucka Re:I Love you Neil (409 comments)

Actually it's confusing the issue. Taxes are historically low, and the amount of wealth that is owned by the richest classes far far outstrips what they pay in taxes.

more than 2 years ago
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"riding a trojan horse to a date rape"

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Krugman's not "swooning" over it (9 comments)

I am the ownership class.

People think that a troll on Slashdot can't own a yacht and several houses. Why should I care if anyone believes me when I have all this money?

I'm not fucked no matter what happens. I know what's going on because my friends and I are the people who make it happen. Smoke-filled rooms? No, just an assuming little office building which you'd never look at twice. But the money we funnel into our bank accounts is quite sufficient anyways. Thanks, taxpayer. I'm just the middleman.

more than 2 years ago
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For White People Who Have Contemplated Petulance When...

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Anti-semitic and a racist bastard (11 comments)

You're useful. You're the classroom example. CLASS! This is a racist. Study carefully as he tries to tell us that black people enjoyed slavery.

more than 2 years ago
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"riding a trojan horse to a date rape"

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Krugman's not "swooning" over it (9 comments)

I don't fucking care if some old people that I don't know live in stinking poverty. At least I will be able to get some cheap labor, even if it's creaky, when I'm spending my fortune.

I've lined my nest, now fuck the rest.

I give up trying to save the world. My fellow Americans obviously don't want what's due them, and they're too stupid to deserve it. I'm just going to join the dark side, vote for Rick Perry, and not bother to think of them any more.

more than 2 years ago
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That tears it - Obama regime truly crooked.

Profane MuthaFucka Re:How does... (10 comments)

Ron Paul is an old retard who was too stupid to practice medicine. He doesn't even have the sense to buy decent shoes.

But seriously, I just got told by another libertaritard that Ron Paul was NOT a Republican. Now you say he is. How about you eat a cock, and come back to me when you figure out what kind of asshole Ron Paul is? Fuck, no wonder that guy doesn't win shit except for his shitty seat in ignorant-as-fuck Texas.

more than 2 years ago
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Taco's Gone

Profane MuthaFucka Jacking off (12 comments)

I came here for the tech and Natalie Portman naked and petrified MEEPT!

I stayed for the fascists.

Typically I am one to overstay a welcome. I think I've overstayed the FUCK out of this one.

more than 2 years ago
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Cancer Cured By HIV

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Still a better prognosis? (521 comments)

Citation? Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI.

Go away with your CDC, and your science, and all your learning. Amazing, people can land on the moon, but the're too stupid to know that Popes are experts on condoms.

more than 2 years ago
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An observation

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Similarly ... (4 comments)

That's why I only claim to have taken your virginity. Both ass and mouth, of course.

more than 2 years ago
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I Think Apple Actually Did Do One Favor For Me...

Profane MuthaFucka Floppies sucked (3 comments)

Yes, we know. Glad they are gone.

The thing that sucks the most right now? It would probably have to be DVD recorders. Most pointless shitty technology ever devised. Too small for backups, too slow to be useful. I hate them now, in 10 years I will hate them even more. The last thing I need in my house is a thousand recorded DVD disks.

more than 2 years ago
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THE END

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Fare-the-well (8 comments)

This place just isn't any fun any more. I'm actually regretting all the time I spent here, I could have been masturbating.

more than 2 years ago
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It's all so clear to me now...

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Um (21 comments)

Stop typing with your tounge you dirty rimjobber

more than 2 years ago
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IBM Creates Multi-Bit Phase Change Memory

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Rubbish. (82 comments)

Bubble memory. I urge you to invest your fortune in that.

more than 2 years ago
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It's all so clear to me now...

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Um (21 comments)

Proof that you're a motherfucking idiot.

more than 2 years ago
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Michelle Bachman's naked ass

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Exactly (7 comments)

See that hole right in the middle? That's where the shit comes out. Strange to put lipstick on your anus though.

more than 2 years ago
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Pope Joins Twitter

Profane MuthaFucka Other tweets the Pope made (3 comments)

He made other tweets to let people know that condoms cause AIDS, every sperm is sacred, he hasn't been an actual Nazi in quite a number of years, and that Jesus hates homosexuals.

Then he apparently confused his work account with his private one and tweeted a picture of his cock to an alter boy. Everyone saw it. Many of them jacked off to the picture of the holy nun-raping tool.

more than 2 years ago
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Authorities Closing On LulzSec

Profane MuthaFucka On the other hand (354 comments)

My jack-off club, LulzJack, is still stroking away happily.

more than 2 years ago
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IBM Did Not Invent the Personal Computer

Profane MuthaFucka Re:"Automate the Third Reich"? (293 comments)

Hey, don't blame me. I was giving handjobs in Nanking during the war.

more than 2 years ago
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Political Robocallers Indicted In Maryland

Profane MuthaFucka Re:Free speech (85 comments)

If someone cares to pay for a telephone line into my house, they can robocall me on it all day long. The line that I do have is paid for by me, and I control who gets to talk on it.

more than 2 years ago

Submissions

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Impossible to write a journal on Slashdot

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Profane MuthaFucka writes "The links are all gone. Is Slashdot deleting their controversial journal feature? It is suspicious that no journals have been posted recently, as the last of the links that allowed Slashdot users to post in their journals was removed early Friday."

Journals

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Michelle Bachman's naked ass

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 2 years ago

I found this and immediately thought everyone here would enjoy this. It's a shot of Michelle Bachman's naked ass taken apparently with her knowledge.

http://4.images.theweek.com/img/dir_0041/20969_article_main.jpg?42

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Answer me this

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  about 3 years ago

Can anybody tell me why it's a good idea to pay back government debt? Because I can't think of any reason why it's a good idea.

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I like this comment

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 3 years ago

You need to go to a strip club to get over the trauma. And while you're there, just remember that the hand that brings you your drink is the same hand that jacks you off in the back room - the efficient, invisible hand of Ayn Rand!

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Careful below

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 3 years ago

Right now I'm standing on my Manhattan balcony, jerking off onto the people below. They'll probably think it's a constipated pigeon.

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Arizona is where I will get my rocks off!

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 3 years ago

I'm not complaining. Now I know where there's an entire state, full of people who are too scared to go to the police because they're illegal aliens.

I think I'll RAPE someone on my next vacation. Arizona is fucking good for the soul.

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Another first for me!

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  about 4 years ago

Tonight marked the very first time that I masturbated at the same time that the United States has some kind of universal health care system!

It's not the best bill, but it's a start that can be improved.

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website

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

chatroulette.com

I'm loving this one. I'm the guy with the cam on his cock, white t-shirt. When the cam is up for about a second, I extend my little finger and flip you off. Also, I have a Swedish IP address, because I'm at one of my summer homes right now. I'm only here in the winter because my wife hid the keys to all my good summer homes. She caught me with a prostitute again, and I'm in the doghouse.

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A Poem

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

This will explain
where the fuck I've been
in case you were
missing me.

I fell asleep
in an adult theater
in Belgium
with my hand on my cock.
I would plead
that this was just
an aberration but
that would be a lie
because I did it twice.

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Time magazine

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Time mag wrote that the '00's were the worst decade EVAR! I can't deny that, but they ain't seen nothing yet.

Folks, you are going to be in pain. Pain Pain Pain. How can I say it? You're going to be hurting.

I can see it, and so can most of you. Hell, I'll skin a kitten just for fun, but the pain you all are going to be in actually brings a tear to my eye.

You may as well get a head start on everyone else. Start thinking about what it really means to be an American. Start thinking about what it really means to be a human being. Start realizing that you have a choice. You can't be both.

We're going to discover that it's becoming physically impossible to be an American. The laws of thermodynamics prevent it. Or maybe it's karma. Or maybe we'll just be the first empire in history destroyed by stupidity.

So I would recommend that you choose to be a human being. Being an American isn't going to be very easy in the next decade.

Happy New Year, a little early.

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More about Freedom

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Continued questions:

Can free people exist in totalitarian states?

If a person exists in a way such that their desires and goals never contradict the totalitarian state, can that person be said to be free?

Or is freedom a collective attribute? Is there no such thing as a free person, only free nations?

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What is freedom?

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Give me your definitions of freedom.

This one isn't like the other ones. I haven't nailed down my own definition of what freedom is or is not.

All I know for sure is that the right libertarians are wrong. Freedom is NOT money. Taxes don't steal your freedom.

But that's not a definition. So sock it to me!

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Everyone who loves Pudge

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Raise your hand. Post here.

Don't post here unless you intend to say you love Pudge.
Just post with the word "I love him", exactly, and nothing else.

This is an experiment, just play along.

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Exaggeration

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

If there were no such thing as white privilege, then this wouldn't be funny at all.

Generic White Man

http://www.snotr.com/video/422

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Being White is fucking awesome

Profane MuthaFucka Profane MuthaFucka writes  |  more than 4 years ago

Being White is clearly better. Who could even argue?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY&feature=player_embedded

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