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Comments

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How IBM (and Open Source) Won eBay

Ralph Malph Alpha Re:'Down for maintainance' [OT] (334 comments)

It's possible, and easy to explain! I'll not though!

With a love that will echo through the ages,

Donny Most
TV's beloved Ralph Malph fizzucken Alpha, of Happy Dayz fame

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=31397&cid=34 08 672

more than 12 years ago

Submissions

Ralph Malph Alpha hasn't submitted any stories.

Journals

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Me jounral UPDATE

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

You ever notice how Jews pray and then they say HOMAYNE instead of AMEN? What kind of gayness is that? BUDDHA 0\//NZ J00, SUX0RS.

Whatever, Jewish hoes are still the best. They moan so desperetly it getz mE HOT so gad dam much i want a jewess hoe RIGHT NOW so i can drain DEEZNUTZ into her ass fuck all of you thankz for you time and PATIENCE.

(Quality schmality I post what I like I could end all of your lives with a thought yeah you like that HUH.)

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sliggity-slash diggity-dot

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

siggity-sucks more than you could possibly i-migitty-magine. I got modded up 6 times to a +5, how the hell did that happen....oh yeah, i made fun of mexicans, that's how. Yeah, where's Jose Juarez's warez? ON THE JUERLD JUIDE JUEB, THAT'S JUERE. And now slashdot messaging doesn't want to tell me when i'm being modded up or down, and when people are replying to me, and some messages are disappearing, not expiring after 31 days, just disappearing from one or two days ago and shit....and there are people who want me to pay for this.

I'm posting at zero for godsake, same as like a damn AC. Wheres my freaken safety zone?

Well shit could be worse, I could be a faker pretending to be a certain dead troll, listening to linkin park and dreaming of my junior high after-prom party by myself with my lubed fist and a stained photo of a raw deboned chicken in my dad's bathroom. AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK. cyborg_faggots.

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Analysis of a deteriorating troll legacy

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Yo yo yo yo mah niggrahs, I be feelin righteous to-day, BO-YEEEE.

Last Tuesday, I started trolling the nig who recently inherited the cyborg_monkey account, and now hes attempting to retaliate. Giving up and begging to be left alone didn't work for him because of my superior troll Wang, so next he fell back on boring, uncreative profanities unworthy of typing into a real troll's keyboard. He then attempted to form alliances by appealing to other trolls, which ended up in dismal failure. Next step was to try and give up again, but the date rape wasn't over yet, as my cum was still boiling in my balls, not his ass. Since he was clearly hemorrhaging, now he's replying to my posts as AC, c_m, and various other inherited troll accounts, all in the same boring posting style, all using the same cliches....proof positive of massively arrested mental development, true exhibitions of the severe limitations in his creative and vocabular savvy.

In other words, this non-talented fake c_m is dying at my hands, so he creates his own friends to apply the defibrillator every once in a while. While in the right hands breaking out the multiple personality disorder can be an extreamly effective strategy, in the hands of pseudo c_m, it is embarassing and amusing at the same time. Quite erotic and flattering!

It's oh so satisfying to see the fruits of my labor grow day by day. Keep it going, pseudo_cybonkey! Let's fill every slashdot story with what passes as your best, it will have to be good enough!

Love ya lotz! -"MOUTH"

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I AM THE WEINER

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

  I WEIN.

See, I started trolling cyborg_monkey last tUesday, unprovoked and just because I hate his gutz down to the core of my soul. No logical reason behind it, just looked at his user info, picked a post, and replied to it.... It's nothing personal, but if some day he ended up dead on my doorstep it would be all of two seconds before I kicked his limp, decomposing body off my porch and got back to sipping me morning tea GUVNAH. Left your AIDS-infected bloodstains on me morning newspaper? Well then, I guess it's decapitation by butterknife for you rigid little corpse then, sir.

But this raises the question, is it acceptable troll behavior to troll you fellow brother trolls? After all these are trollz like you and me, they would troll you too if they had the chance. But should you ask permission first? Should there be a distinction between harassing newbie trolls and senior trolls (with lower user #s?) I SAy THERE SHOULD BE NO STIGMA REGARDING SUCH BEHAVIOR. It's healthy, normal, and keeps us on our toes. It also weeds out the weak, and has the potential to build troll morale and toughen ones own troll skin against insultz and other attackz.

It may be a while before I troll another troll, just because I have been extreamly busy at work recently, and I'm finding hella good shit to bid on on ebay recently too. if somebody is reading this and would like to be trolled, just post a reply to this, and I'll try to fit you into my hizzectic trizollin schizzedule. Or just keep you mouth shut and curl up into a fetal ball and roll back into the faggot closet that you came out of.

Oh, Im also interested in hearing of the troll-trolling experiences of fellow trollz, so go and get kracken....IF YOU THINK YOU GOT THE BALLZACK, GO TROLL SOME MO TROLLZ AND THEn TELL ME ABOUT IT, MAN.

YO, BUSTERZ! CATCH YO BREATH AND KISS ME BUM GOOD NIGHT. Yeah, now you need a tic tac huh.

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Yo bitchez, this is required

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

I be returned, faggotz. Word up and peace out. Dizzon Mizzost, Tizzay Vizzay's bizzalizzoved Rizzalph Mizzalph Alphizza, izzis bizzack izzin thizza slizzashdizzot trizzollin' hizzouse.

I have four wordz for you: Give it up for me, developerz.

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I will be in rehab for a week

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Save your virginity for me while I'm gone.

When I get back, your cherries are all mine, bitches.

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FUNKTRONIC JAM (This is required remix)

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), FUNKTRONIC JAM
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), MAKE ME HORNY

BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), FUNKTRONIC JAM
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), MAKE ME HORNY

BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), FUNKTRONIC JAM
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), MAKE ME HORNY

BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), FUNKTRONIC JAM
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), MAKE ME HORNY

BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), FUNKTRONIC JAM
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), BOOM BOOM (tick)
BOOM, (tick) BOOM, BOOM (tick) BOOM BOOM, (tick), MAKE ME HORNY

Yes, this si SURELY the pinnacle of hip hop dance music!!!!!

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INFINITE SHAME (an apology to my beloved OBEAST)

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

why oh WHY didnt any body tell me that i mispelt sheryl HYMOWITZ' name! great, now i bet she'll nevver EEVER swing around the way, i must have ofended the hell out of her.

OH MY FAT LOVE, wo'nt you give me a second chance?

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Good old american Football

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Bad idea: pepsi superbowl commercial starring britney spears singing and dancing through time

Why this is bad: appeals to limited demographic (who care about singing, dancing, time travel)

Good idea: pepsi superbowl commercial starring britney spears in an interracial gangbang through time

Why this is good: appeals to everyone

Nothing screams RACIAL AND TEMPORAL EQUALITY than watching people from all over the world of different races and creeds, converge upon and share the same girl's pussy, asshole, mouth, feet etc in peaceful harmony (through time).

Dont think i didnt practice whwat I preached when i was on the cast of Happy Days either, no no. Pat "Noriyuki" Morita (TV's beloved ARNOLD)and I would routinely share the same fine Fonzy groupie in the dressing room at the end of a shoot. "Yo PAT, you want to share this piece of ass in the name of racial equality?" "HAI SO! okay bingo hentai karate!"

Of course, good old Patty was just a little kinkier and skilled with his wise ancient weener than I was, so he would always get to take the girls home when we were done, but i'd never hear from them again. he'd scream out werdo japanese words like CRITORIS and FEMARE PREASURE....what the fuck i would say. that crazy guy, sometimes i thought he was making this stuff up. best gangbang partner i ever had better than anson williams (who is a raging gaymo in real life)

AHH NOTHING BEATS MEMORIEZ....OF "HAPPY DAYS".

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redpubed DICK seekz hot fat CHICKZ

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Holey shit Sheryl horowitz is one hot chick. Shes the former fatty that lost 75 pounds on jared's Subway sandwich diet, whose now in the subway commericalz. i would fuck her so hard, hareder than i fuck my fists when potsie and i read national geographics together.

Yo Sheryl, why don't you swing on over to my place and let me slap your still-fat breasts with all four inches of the pride of milwaukee? Hell yeah, sit yo ass down on my HOT ROD (introduced episode # 00004E).

Either that, or fuck off and die in a sandwich related accident and go to hell and give blowjobs to satan for mercy. Eat your left tit for NUTRIENTZ or some shit - nobody turns down Donny Most (tv's beloved RALPH MALPH fucken ALPHA) and lives to see tomorrow.

DAM I AM FUCKIN HORNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THis is fricken gay

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

I seriously pity all yuo FOOz who think you can keep the Happy Dayz krew DOWN by subnet banning me. You can censor me, fucken RALPH MALPH ALPHA, but youll never escape the long arm of the FONZ. just wait and see....you will soon learn the meaning of the word "PIAN."

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YO, THA INNANET ROCKZ

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Did you know that?

I just wen on a virtual tour of CANADA, and you know what I saw? I saw CANADIAN FAGGORTZZ running around smoking canadain cockpipe. That;s a lameass country you got there, you homogaysexuals.

neighbors to the north my ass. go home, stay home, and cry yourselves to sleep. god save the queen, you bitches.

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I'm fucking great.

Ralph Malph Alpha Ralph Malph Alpha writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Yeah, you know that I am, thatz why your sucking me off by reading this. You may as well add me to your friends list. Otherwise I will buttfuck your face.

Happy Days 4 LiFE.
Ralph Malph Alpha stabz ya dead
Ritchie Cunningham be livin large wid his hoes
Potsie gangbangin from beyond his jail cell
Mr. Arthur Fonzarelli gives ya three thumbs up
Joanie suck ya off while
Chachi tapz her ass

Damn, that's a fucken long ass haiku. 5-7-5? nah bitch, that's 5-7-FLAVA.

Enough for now. Fuck you.

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