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How Companies Learn Your Secrets

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Intelligent Advertising (354 comments)

Obviously you've never had a girlfriend

This is slashdot. You really could have simply ended your whole post there.

more than 2 years ago
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James Randi's Latest Debunking Operation

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Lot's of possibilities (498 comments)

Raëlism - Wacked out UFO cult founded by a Frenchman in 1974 with anywhere from 2000-5000 followers globally

To be fair, though, most of the followers are in it just for the easy sex. I can just Randi confronting them. They will just reply "Okay, so it's complete bullshit. I just had *another* threesome with a couple of hot babes last night. I'm sorry, why did you say I should leave?"

more than 2 years ago
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School Sends Child's Lunch Home After Determining it Unhealthy

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Potato chips (554 comments)

Our school district doesn't allow most potato chips either. Sun Chips are okay, but Doritos or any type of potato chips you cannot have. They will take it away from your kids.

I attended elementary school in the '80s. Every time I see stuff like this, the school uniforms in public schools everywhere, the drug dogs and lockdowns, etc... it just makes me so sad. Also in the '80s, they were teaching us about the idealistic and practiced differences between our society and East Germany and the USSR, etc... US schools used to prepare children for factory jobs (schedule by bell ringing, etc...) Now US schools are preparing children for prison.

Yes, and I remember when our teacher told us about the horrible goings-on in places like Singapore, where they have surveillance cameras everywhere and the police record your every move. Surely, we'll never have something that horrible in the good ol' US of A! No sirree Bob!

more than 2 years ago
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School Sends Child's Lunch Home After Determining it Unhealthy

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Well.. (554 comments)

She's a Food Inspector at the North Carolina Division of Child Development and Early Education at the Department of Health and Human Services now.

That one sentence gives me at least three reasons why I would have divorced her, too.

more than 2 years ago
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Yet Another European Government Drops ACTA

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Common sense (117 comments)

Back in MY day we didn't have high-fructose corn syrup and anti-depressants! No! All we had was cocaine, marijuana and LSD for our depression and nothing but pure, sweet honey harvested by Cuban children to tame our cravings for sweets.

Ug. You forgot the obligatory "And we were thankful!"

more than 2 years ago
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Australian Scientists Discover 'Oldest Living Thing On Earth'

SpongeBob Hitler Re:200,000 Years Old? (172 comments)

Could we put this one to rest, maybe?

Seriously, I can't recall the last time I heard a religious person make the claim. It's 100% sarcastic atheists. It's getting to be the airline food joke of the geekverse.

Try visiting the Southeast US. I heard this a lot when I was there. On second thought, don't visit the Southeast US. Just nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

more than 2 years ago
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Australian Scientists Discover 'Oldest Living Thing On Earth'

SpongeBob Hitler Re:200,000 Years Old? (172 comments)

Mother nature called. She said that was very quaint and reminded humanity as a civilization that it would not be getting any dinner for the next five hundred years unless it smartened up, bathed, and cleaned its room, and stopped making excuses about imaginary friends that live in the sky.

Mother nature called. She said stop anthropomorphizing her, or she'll boil your ass in a bag and have that ass for breakfast.

more than 2 years ago
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Seattle Library Lets Man Watch Porn On Computers Despite Complaints

SpongeBob Hitler Re:I like their position (584 comments)

There isn't any sound precedent I'm aware of that establishes any kind of freedom from speech.

So, can I put up a jumbotron in front of your house (or, your mom's house if you live in the basement) and loudly explain at 3 in the morning what an utter fool I think you are?

more than 2 years ago
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When it comes to U.S. colonies on the moon ...

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Depends how it is funded. (583 comments)

Go to war because of some moon base? I reiterate: only a fucking politician would bother.

FTFY

more than 2 years ago
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NASA Finds Interstellar Matter From Beyond Our Solar System

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Same atoms (75 comments)

And why do they say *that* material is what we're made from? As far as I'm aware, we're made from the material of *our* solar system, not that of another.

Yeah, we certainly don't want any o' them thar furrin' atoms 'round here!

more than 2 years ago
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Thousands Take To the Streets To Protest ACTA

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Good to see someone standing up against this ju (217 comments)

Even if the endeavor isn't successful, imagine how scared shitless the MPAA would be if we could get guys like Ron Paul and Ron Wyden to introduce a bill that would get rid of the Mickey Mouse Protection Act or other such nonsense. Furthermore, if we can convince guys like that to vocally campaign on these issues, it would do a lot towards raising awareness.

I can just see the news report now: "Congressman Ron Paul was found dead this morning in his house in Texas. While an avid critic of the so-called Mickey Mouse Protection Act, and an avid supporter of legislation to overturn it, his body was nonetheless found among singing 128 Mickey Mouse dolls. All 128 dolls were found simultaneously singing 'It's a Small World', which was then proceeded by a maniacal laughter."

more than 2 years ago
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Thousands Take To the Streets To Protest ACTA

SpongeBob Hitler Re:ACTA Represents the End... (217 comments)

Ah, yes. Like so many other things from Tsarist Russia - big, overbearing, and ultimately impractical and useless. I guess this museum piece monstrosity could be used to launch people out of it. Because, in Tsarist Russia, cannon fires YOU!

more than 2 years ago
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Man Charged With Stealing Code From Federal Reserve Bank

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Lesson 1 (199 comments)

Don't steal from the government - it hates the competition

Suicide. It's a game your whole family should play.

more than 2 years ago
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Is Climate Change the New Evolution?

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Isn't that anti-science? (1055 comments)

[climate denier mode] See! I wave it off! [whisks hand through the air *woosh!*] Off! Off! See? There, it's gone.[/climate denier mode] I only wish I was joking, but this is ultimately what evolution and climate deniers do. Once you destroy their arguments with pesky things like logic and facts, they revert to making mocking gesticulations and facial expressions. If you really keep at them, they may get violent, or at least begin to throw feces.

more than 2 years ago
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Do Companies Punish Workers Who Take Vacations?

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Time famine? Really??? (948 comments)

Oh FFS - can we please stop diluting the important words in our language? It kind of skews people's perspective of actual famine. #getoffmylawn

But, because of pirates dealing in so much stolen wares, they are handing out time famine by the bucket. If this goes on, we'll have a tsunami of time famine, whose earthquake will wreck the homes we have built.

more than 2 years ago
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Teacher Cannot Be Sued For Denying Creationism

SpongeBob Hitler Re:So (775 comments)

-

Atheism ultimately is the argument that "I haven't heard a sound argument for a God from anyone so I maintain the default position of nothing on the subject."

Actually, that's the agnostic position - "There's not enough data for a rational determination of the existence of God, therefore the I hold no opinion as to whether God exists or not". Atheism is a positive assertion of the non-existence of God.

Well, that's the rational definition. The kooks at American Atheists are always pissing themselves about how agnostics are just weak-willed atheists or atheists without a backbone. They play the same kind of trick that Southern Baptists do. American Atheists define anyone who does not have a positively asserted belief in God as an atheist. So, in their view, agnostics, most buddhists, daoists, and even babies are all atheists. It's just a game to make their numbers look a lot larger than they really are.

The reason I say this is like the Southern Baptist strategy is that Southern Baptists will claim in one argument that there are over 1.3 billion Christians in the world. Then, in another argument, they will say that Catholics (about 1 billion right there), Eastern Orthodox and other Eastern churches like the Nestorian and Coptic churches (assuming they've even heard of them since a lot of them don't believe in this place call "outside the USA", unless it's somewhere we bomb, but that's a part of their double-think), Lutherans, Methodists, Episcopalians, Anglicans, and just about everyone else that is not them are not really Christians. They'll claim 1.3 billion Christians in the world and then turn around and say that about 1 billion Christians (Catholics) are agents or dupes of Satan.

more than 3 years ago
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Nokia Killing Symbian and S40 In North America

SpongeBob Hitler In related news... (148 comments)

Stupidity and lame stories have killed slashdot all over the world.

more than 3 years ago
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Re: the debt deal reached Sunday night ...

SpongeBob Hitler Re:St. Reagan (788 comments)

Reagan was a leader, Obama is not. It's that simple.

So was Hitler. What's your point?

more than 3 years ago
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PayPal Hands Over 1,000 IP Addresses To the FBI

SpongeBob Hitler Re:Botnet IPs? (214 comments)

Yeah, congrats Paypal, you've just handed over 1000 Grandmas' computers that are hacked into being a bot. Meh.

But you don't understand! This is America! The only way to solve a problem is by kicking ass.

more than 2 years ago

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