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So a couple of weeks ago I was truly ready to call it quits, and start learning how to live with being single again for a while.
Sometimes, God steps in where you weren't expecting, and really does something to save your ass.
Things are better now. She's doing better than I am, these days. We're even looking at going to a different church.
Such fierce loyalty, such commitment... The full-on realizations, soul-searching, and changes on her side lately have been incredible. It wasn't what I was really expecting, that night -- but having gone through something similar myself a while ago, it's definitely something I value - and respect.
All I can do is remember to be humble, and thankful, and try to be a better (and Godly) man, for both our sakes... she deserves nothing less.
--Last night, I said something that hurt somebody I really care about.
--Needless to say I did not get any sleep, and had a horrible day wracked with guilt and shame - wishing I could take it back and make things OK again... We were actually having a pretty good time until I caught Teh Stupid.
--Looking back on it, I am appalled not just at my own words, but also the way I said them. I thought I was "being honest", but I was really being insensitive (and blinded to it by my own callousness.)
--I kept checking my phone for texts that never came, and feeling low. Spent most of the day thinking about it with a big pain in my heart, and keeping the tears back.
I've got the typical upper-respiratory garbage; excessive mucus, sore throat, mild headache. All stuff I could do without, especially since I have a largely phone-based job.
So far, 2008 hasn't been the greatest - except for Holly. It all would have been about 3x as hard to deal with if it wasn't for her.
I miss the Old Farmers Almanac and the Honey Nut Cheerios. But, I got some really cool stuff this year - Holly went all-out and got me -all- the Halo sci-fi books, plus a GPS navigation system. So I got that going for me.;-)
Well it's pretty much been a horrible week so far. Been stuck in a stuffy room for Citrix training the last 4 days, (with NO BREAKS scheduled besides LUNCH, mind you) -- and been SO TIRED, that I can barely function well enough to drive all the way home from work without crashing into the guy in front of me. Not to mention that homeward traffic has been sucky all week too.
The instructor zoomed thru the whole course like a bat out of hell, which pretty much left me in the lurch as to: HOW DOES THIS TRAINING APPLY TO MY DAILY JOB?? ~:(
Then Wed, my hard drive CRASHED at work and I lost pretty much everything stored there, including the Virtual Machine I've been developing to make the server farm searchable. Last backed-up copy on my USB stick is from like the 18th.
On top of that, I haven't been able to see Holly all week (except for Tue night Bible study) -- then I get the guilt trip for BEING TIRED and having to cancel plans.
Need prayer -- overwhelmed, annoyed, and feeling like some major change needs to happen.
Haven't said anything about it till now cuz I didn't want to Jinx it. I'm working for a large agricultural company, doing monitoring and troubleshooting of their (extensive) Web server cluster. It may involve Vmware ESX admin skills in the future - and it's 1st shift:-)
So far it's 1/2 year contract-to-hire possibility -- please PRAY for my long-term job needs, as right now it looks like a very good place to build a career!
Going good so far -- will try to post more often, but it depends on how busy I get.
Had to call in to work today -- ice storm hit and the GF lost power for a few hours. I've been OK tho; just the roads were bad and I didn't want to chance it. A coworker got in a major 5-car accident on Sat (he's pretty much OK - but he was in the hosp wearing a neck brace for a while, and his car got Totalled.)
Working 6 days a week now - Sats are a pain. Keep me in prayer -- Thanks!
I've been working since Nov 5; things are going OK right now but Cmas will definitely be "light" this year. Lots of bills and outstanding stuff to catch up on. And the "official" contract ends in April, so I'll prolly be looking for work again sometime in Spring.
Keep me in prayer - I need to read my Bible *every day* - and I'll be missing Holly for 2 days this weekend because she can't come to Decatur with me for the fam reunion.
Looking fwd to seeing my brother and family again tho.
I'm working 7am-4 now, with some Saturdays coming up (supposedly) -- but I'm planning on going to the family reunion in Decatur on the 1st. As long as we have someone to take care of the cats-n-birds, Six should be coming along as well.:-)
Gimme a call if you'd like to catch up; I should have a fairly slow week til Thu or so.
Started a new job Monday working for the local tax people (Major worldwide company.;-) ) I'll be working 1st shift for like the 1st time Evar.
Haven't been on the phones yet, but the training has been going well. I'm a little nervous about manning the phones (I'm 2nd-tier tech support) but I've done it before. Just have to get used to their way of doing things, and knowing WHERE TO FIND ANSWERS...
Keep me in prayer, it might turn out to be something of a high-stress job;-)
Sunday: Six and I got back from church and I found a note in my door from the (apparently) crystal-meth-crack-ho bezotch next door (we share two halves of the same condo.)
Long story short: With NO prior warning OR provocation (I've been Mr Nice Guy the whole 2 months), she gets ALL up in my face, and THEN CALLS THE COPS ON ME -- after threatening to sic me with her "fiancee coming home from Iraq next Friday."
Little Miss Attitude proceeds to inform me (while the cops are on the way) that not only am I not fit for this "family-oriented neighborhood" -- she also warns me to stay the h--l away from her kids - like I'm some kind of threat!! PLUS, she apparently was sufficiently PARANOID that she accused Holly TO HER FACE of "harboring" me as a WANTED FUGITIVE!!! ??? What.The.F!!!
So the cops arrive. I was of course pretty steamed, but tried to be cooperative and polite to them --- but they Obviously were on the side of this idiot "neighbor" - until they ran my license, and turned up ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (As expected.)
Needless to say, I've been Insulted, PO'd, Offended, and Falsely Accused - all in the same afternoon!
This uptight little moron has Directly Threatened my right to live in peace in my own house -- believe me, I'm not taking this lying down.
I'm gonna keep my own counsel and not do anything to aggravate the situation - but if she tries ONE MORE THING, I'm calling a lawyer - AND the Homeowner's Assoc.
The way she was acting, it's like she wants to start a war -- and believe me, I did not do ANYTHING to deserve this kind of response. I *will* however *protect* myself AND my landlady - in self defense.
Well, sorry for not writing in such a long time. Was SUPPOSED to start work on Monday, but things have been getting pushed back and pushed back. Now I'm looking at working (for a completely different company) this weekend Fri-Sun (12 hours on Sat!!) and STILL have to make the rent +utils *somehow.*:(