Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Comments

top

Space Sugar Discovered In Binary System Star

alfs boner I would never socialize with a Slashdot user! (94 comments)

The title says it all: I would never willingly associate myself with the socially-retarded "aspies," or the forever-alone 40-year-old virgins that hang out here. Sorry guys, there's a reason nobody likes you :/

more than 2 years ago
top

Disney Seeks Trademark On 'Seal Team 6'

alfs boner Re:It's not something for the US to be proud of. (254 comments)

I'd have notified our allies that to send over a representative so that someone could have independently verified the identity.

I'd have had some Arabic observers around for oversight, and I would have let them watch the live video feeds and verify the identity of the body.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *inhales* ahhhh ha ha ha haa ha ha ha hah ha...

more than 3 years ago
top

Disney Seeks Trademark On 'Seal Team 6'

alfs boner Re:Unusual in this age of Political Correctness (254 comments)

Considering that Disney created propaganda films for the US Gov't during WWII

Which, give or take, was 70 years ago.

and Walt was one of the most fervent supporters of Joseph McCarthy,

Both of whom have been dead for a long time.

this move is actually very much in line with Disney's track record.

That's not much of a "track record" you've cited there.

more than 3 years ago
top

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands

alfs boner Re:Bin Laden murdered? (1855 comments)

We Americans believe we have the right to enforce our laws and beliefs in other countries because 1. we can, 2. we do, and 3. there is nothing you can do to stop us. There is nothing you are capable of doing that can stop us from getting what we want, and taking what is ours. Whenever you see something in the news about some unilateral US adventure, whether we're assassinating foreign nationals or dropping bombs on some recalcitrant banana republic, I want you take it personally, as if my country was waving its middle finger a half-inch from your face. Because that's exactly how I view these things. :)

more than 3 years ago
top

Ask Slashdot: What Gadgets Would You Use For Hunting Meteorites?

alfs boner I'd keep it simple: (130 comments)

A sawed-off shotgun and machete.

more than 3 years ago
top

$30 GPS Jammer Can Wreak Havok

alfs boner Re:Whut? (386 comments)

Really? It took you six tries to figure it out? I wouldn't go bragging about something like that. I had no trouble understanding the summary the first time I read it, so what's wrong with you?

I know I shouldn't make fun of people with learning disabilities, but you are one stupid motherfucker.

more than 3 years ago
top

MegaUpload Dares RIAA To Sue Them

alfs boner Re:Why should the RIAA even bother with a response (255 comments)

While that would be unfortunate, it really isn't the fault of the tool.

If the 'tool' is overwhelmingly used to facilitate crime, then it's time to ban the tool. End of discussion. No point-by-point rebuttal or cyber-anarcho-libertarian frothing-at-the-mouth is going to change this. Whine all you want, but the hammer is going to come down on these criminal scum and their sympathizers, and there is nothing you can do about it. I suggest you get over it and re-focus your efforts on making sure that you're in compliance with the the law, in thought and deed.

more than 3 years ago
top

Hurt Locker File-Sharing Subpoenas Begin

alfs boner Re:Culprit ? (376 comments)

The reality is, every time people steal IP, the owners lose money. Period. Financial harm is always inflicted to the owners. There isn't much difference between someone stealing a car and someone stealing a movie or application. Imaginary masturbation to the contrary doesn't make it true. Stealing is stealing. Someone is always harmed. The only real difference is the amount of damage incurred. Every time you steal IP, at a minimum, you are devaluing it. As a result, the IP owners have been harmed.

This is the worlds smallest violin, playing the world's saddest song for those poor, poor IP owners.

more than 4 years ago
top

GameStop Pulls Medal of Honor From Military Bases

alfs boner Re:Too Soon (362 comments)

I'll take crass commercialism over insincere, middlebrow piety. Faggot.

more than 4 years ago
top

Kepler Mission Finds 752 Extrasolar Planet Candidates

alfs boner 2003 Called (103 comments)

It wants its joke back.

more than 4 years ago
top

Tynt Insight Is Watching You Cut and Paste

alfs boner Re:A comment from Tynt (495 comments)

i am icy calm, and what does 4chan have to do with anything? i know you are but what am i?

FTFY.

more than 4 years ago
top

US Youth Have Serious Mental Health Issues

alfs boner Re:In the words of the great Ken Titus... (818 comments)

You're reading comprehension skills must be pretty laughable if you're willing to embarrass yourself with a reply like that.

more than 4 years ago
top

Do You Hate Being Called an "IT Guy?"

alfs boner Re:Build a bridge.... (736 comments)

Ohh... I see your mistake- Digg is down the hallway over there. You might enjoy the Chuck Norris jokes and new screenshots of Halo Warfare 2: Space Crysis.

more than 4 years ago
top

Demo of EU's Planned "INDECT" Hints At Massive Data Mining, Little Privacy

alfs boner Confession: I smell my farts (122 comments)

It's true- I'll waft them up to my face, or fart on something then smell that. I've noticed a difference between smelling farts off my fingers and farting into a towel and smelling that. I prefer the towel. Sometimes, right before I take a shower, I'll wipe my ass with a towel or my underwear to smell my butt-perfume. I frequently pull the covers over my own head when I fart between the sheets. Oh, and I love the smell and frequency of my hangover farts. I love leaving my room for a few minutes and coming back to smell my still-lingering farts hanging in the air. To me its kind of like climing out of the swimming pool, getting in the hot tub for a few minutes, then going back into the pool. If I want to fart without making a lot of noise I'll reach into my pants and hold my buttcheeks apart with my fingers so the gas can leave my asshole unobstructed. it actually makes a very audible "pssssssssssssss" sound. Like if someone was in earshot but they couldn't see me, they would probably be wondering if i was farting with my fingers in my ass. Sometimes if I'm in public I'll find "discreet" ways to indulge my fart-sniffing penchance. For example I'll try to pass gas as quietly as possible, then discreetly fan my thighs open and closed so the gas is wafted up to my face.

about 5 years ago
top

web creator apologizes for double slashes

alfs boner I smell my hands after farting on them (1 comments)

I smell my hands after farting on them. Sometimes before a shower I'll wipe my ass with a towel or my underwear and smell my body-odor/butt-perfume.

about 5 years ago
top

Open Source Could Have Saved Ontario Hundreds of Millions

alfs boner Re:Government at its finest (294 comments)

Oh look, another junior college student just read fight club.

about 5 years ago
top

Carl Sagan Sings

alfs boner Re:A scientific icon (183 comments)

Hmmm... I know who Carl Sagan is, and I know who Alan Alda is, so they definitely aren't "nobodies." You, on the other hand are no doubt known only by the urine-filled mountain dew bottles who watch on as you play WOW in your underpants, and your parents, who probably despise you.

about 5 years ago
top

How To Make Science Popular Again?

alfs boner Re:Republicans? (899 comments)

Protip: The "FREE IQ TEST" you took online is not a real IQ test. "Protip:" GTFO and GB24CHAN.

more than 5 years ago
top

James Murdoch Criticizes BBC For Providing "Free News"

alfs boner Re:Threatening plurality? (703 comments)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... enjoy your "flamebait" mod ^_^

more than 5 years ago

Submissions

alfs boner hasn't submitted any stories.

Journals

top

Typical Slashdot User:

alfs boner alfs boner writes  |  more than 7 years ago Typical Slashdot user. srsly.

uhm... linux, torvalds, sco, gpl3, patriot act, apple, jobs, iphone, osx, wiretapping, eff, ajax, battlestar: galactica, george lucas, george w. bush, redhat, farscape, google, evolution, intelligent design, ad&d 4th edition, java, mircosoft, bill gates, xbox, ps3, sony, rootkit, mafiaa, riaa, mpaa, piracy, greasemonkey, carbon, climate change, global warming, nethack, penguins

Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?