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Comments

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Ask Slashdot: Professionally Packaged Tools For Teaching Kids To Program?

cyborg_monkey Mommy didn't give you enough hugs? (107 comments)

"I've been doing IT consulting for years, but I'm not a programmer beyond bash scripting, perl scripts to make administration easier, and batch files to make Windows easier."

How is any of that relevant, other than trying not to look impotent.

2 days ago
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Big Talk About Small Samples

cyborg_monkey Re:Op-ed (243 comments)

And your dad is not a man, but you mom is.

4 days ago
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Facebook Testing Lithium-Ion Batteries For Backup Power

cyborg_monkey Re:Li-Ion batteries aren't good for this role (41 comments)

"Keeping a Li-Ion battery fully charged all the time is bad for its longevity..."

And that is completely wrong. Try again.

about a week ago
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Nvidia Shield Tablet Gets Android Lollipop Update, Half Life 2 EP1 and GRID

cyborg_monkey Re:nVidia sucks (58 comments)

just like your mom.

about a week ago
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Groupon Backs Down On Gnome

cyborg_monkey Re:I donated (114 comments)

oh shut the fuck up already.

about two weeks ago
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Life Insurance Restrictions For Space Tourists

cyborg_monkey Re:Gawd. (68 comments)

you really do like to hear yourself talk.

about two weeks ago
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CNN Anchors Caught On Camera Using Microsoft Surface As an iPad Stand

cyborg_monkey Re:Could have been worse (236 comments)

You're a complete moron.

about two weeks ago
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Android 5.0 Makes SD Cards Great Again

cyborg_monkey Re:Too little too late (214 comments)

holy crap are you a fuckwit.

about two weeks ago
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Marijuana Legalized In Oregon, Alaska, and Washington DC

cyborg_monkey Re:America is a RINO (588 comments)

All, except you of course.

about two weeks ago
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YouTube Opens Up 60fps To Everyone

cyborg_monkey Re:Demo Scene (152 comments)

I'm hoping that was sarcasm.

about three weeks ago
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Tim Cook: "I'm Proud To Be Gay"

cyborg_monkey Re:Courage (764 comments)

No, it did not. 5 years ago, that would have been brave.

about three weeks ago
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CERN Looking For Help Filling In the Gaps In Photo Archive

cyborg_monkey Re:My guesses (28 comments)

Absolutely amazing that you scored a funny mod on that tripe.

about three weeks ago
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Ask Slashdot: An Accurate Broadband Speed Test?

cyborg_monkey Re:Really? (294 comments)

You're an idiot. Complete and total.

about a month and a half ago
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AIDS Origin Traced To 1920s Kinshasa

cyborg_monkey Re:Are we sure it is blood/meat contact? (162 comments)

They believe it because it's true, and a fact proven by the scientific method. Now shut your fucking hole and grow a sack.

about a month and a half ago

Submissions

cyborg_monkey hasn't submitted any stories.

Journals

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07APR07 - Another pointless entry....

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 7 years ago

Logging in.. posting. Wow, this is just as exciting as I remember! Now if only all the old gang was still around... spork_testicle for example.

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Greetings.... 03AUG05

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 9 years ago

Cripes, I have not posted on or read /. in ages. And guess what? I think it will be another year before I post again. So, who's still here?

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Bone-O-Rama

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 10 years ago

First, let me state that j0nkatz a complete fraud. Do not be fooled. Only Bone-O-Rama is capable of Automated First Post Goodness (c). Bone-O-Rama is quality software, written in Visual Basic.Net and released under the GPL.

Included features:

* Completely configurable
* GUI or character based interface
* Use the included database of clever first post comments or add your own!
* Post unattended or at a pre-determined time.
* Login and post via anonymous proxy.
* Duplicate story check option. If enabled, it will verify whether the story
    is unique and modify the post accordingly. Additional features that the competition does not offer.
* PostStalker: Enter the user ID of someone you wish to stalk and every post that user makes will get an automatic response!
    Choose Civil or Flamewar.
* StoryQueStalker: Submit stories that are mined from Google, Yahoo and CNN as legit stories with links. Automatically!
* KarmaStalker: With this feature, your account can be tracked and karma calculated. No more Positive/Negative silliness.

If you, or your friends would like in on the first post lifestyle, there is no better way than to Bone-O-Rama your way to the top!
This post created using the magnificent Bone-O-Rama © 2004 cyborg_monkey LLC

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Diary of diaries.

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 10 years ago

Man, it has been a long time since I posted last, nearly a year. Athough I read /. from time to time, I mostly stay away.

Any of the old gang still hang out here?

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Another Friday

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 11 years ago

Warm outside, no tornados this weekend (hopefully) and my loins are moist for a cat.

It appears that all the good exploits of Slashdot are over. No more multiple posts, page widening, ASCII art, URL redirects, hidden sids are happening. I guess taco locked down Slashdot, just like he said he would.

So where do you guys hang out now? Since the post cap, I mostly gave up Slashdot because the only real thing of interest here was the trolling. Sure, I will occasionally post on SRU or GiZ, that too is mostly dead.

Guess it's time to move on....

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Naked vigilante strips teen

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 11 years ago

By JONATHAN JENKINS, TORONTO SUN

Get that crimefighter a cape. A naked vigilante in Hamilton -- who interrupted a midnight break and enter in the buff -- is accused of stripping the teenaged burglar to his underwear, tying him up and whipping him with a belt on June 1.

"The accused was sleeping and he was surprised by the intruder," Hamilton police Det.-Sgt. Tom Andrew said.

"If it had stopped at that point, then he would have used enough reasonable force." But he had a reason not to call cops -- he's wanted for alleged criminal activity in 1998 and 1999.

BANDIT DUCT-TAPED

And police believe the 17-year-old was trying to get at the remnants of a hydroponic marijuana grow operation in the house on King St. E. in Stoney Creek.

After the teen was stripped, tied and whipped, he was duct-taped and held for about five hours, police say, then driven to Queenston Rd. and let go.

Cops got a search warrant for the home and allegedly found the teen's clothes and keys, hydroponic equipment and a small amount of drugs.

Jeremy Stephen Ramey, 25, is charged with robbery, possession of stolen property, assault, assault with a weapon and forcible confinement.

He's also been charged with failing to appear, uttering threats, mischief and assault from 1999, and possessing stolen cars from 1998.

The teenager, who suffered some bruises, has not yet been formally charged, Andrew said.

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What is going on around here?

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 11 years ago

I see *former* trolls/crapflooders posting in the positive realm... whoring like there's no tomorrow.

What happened, when did it happen and why wasn't I notified? This is complete madness. It seems like I am the only one grabbing quality FPs and harassing obvious Linux zealot shitheads.

Lets all join virtual hands and bring back the underground community to its former glory.

Don't forget to visit:

www.geekizoid.com
#cyborg_monkey (irc.slashnet.net)
MSN IM cyborg_monkey@hotmail.com

EOT

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Greetings friends!

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 12 years ago

I have not written in my journal for quite a while, and I am sure that you are concerned. Well, I have been absent for good reason. I resently joined a convent. I am going to be a nun!

First, I had a beaver (an Orgasmatron 220i) installed, then deactivated as I will not be able to use it. I cannot even finger myself. Next, I have a black pointy hat attached to my skull. Next I will get a ruler and crack all of you on the skull.

Finally, I would like to show you my first work in the nunnery: writing jokes. Here is my first offering:

An altar boy goes up to the Father and says, "Father, do you know how old I am today?"

The Father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to Sister Mary, "Sister, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell Father."

Please let me know what you think, as your opinions are so very important to me.

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Well, I guess this will have to do for now.

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Kinda lame, I think, since these are not part of the discussion. Well, maybe when Taco implements the Palladium extentions of .NET in the Slashcode, he will let us all post again.

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Saturday again... cold and shitty.

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Like most luzers here on Slapbutt, I have nothing of value to contribute or say. For proof of this just read my journals or posts (all 914 of them).

So for now, my goal on Slushbucket is raise the quality of the conversations, to get along with my fellow readers, and bring goodwill to all members of this esteemed weblog.

err, I mean I want to reach 1000 posts before the end of April.

FUCK YOU!

EOT

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Another beautiful snowy Saturday...

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Ah... Chicago weather. Nothing like curling up next to a warm server on a cold and snowy day. Installing NT (as a PDC) is a wonderful distraction to the weather outside.

Think I will have a warm cup of hot chocolate and think about what a waste of air j'raxis is.

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Pantless Friday!

cyborg_monkey cyborg_monkey writes  |  more than 12 years ago

Everyone seems to have gotten thier panties all bunched up over Taco's trolling in the metamod sid.

WHO THE FUCK CARES?

Honestly, if tunaTaco turns off the server, you losers would have nothing to do with yourselves. Well, that is not entirely true... you could go back to somethingawful and waste your braincells there.

The bottom line is this: pants are optional and if you want to expand your horizons, visit scoop.geekizoid.com.

EOT

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