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Comments

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Two Cities Ask the FCC To Preempt State Laws Banning Municipal Fiber Internet

disposable60 Re:Vote (145 comments)

I believe!
I believe that contravenes the US Constitution's ban on religious tests to hold office (Article VI, paragraph 3).

4 hours ago
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Amazon Fire Phone Reviews: Solid But Overly Ambitious

disposable60 Re:Content is the King! (58 comments)

Don't confuse Broadcaster (local, with local ads, and merely 'affiliated' with a network) and the Network (National, with national ads). The broadcasters's business model strongly resembles the car dealerships', and just like Tesla is getting well-funded pushback from the dealers, a proposed change in that model will get pushback from the state and local pols that depend on local TV to advertise in their districts.

2 days ago
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UK Users Overwhelmingly Spurn Broadband Filters

disposable60 Re:Logically (115 comments)

Often those two groups of damaged personalities have considerable overlap. And overlap with the upper reaches of church hierarchy.

2 days ago
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Economist: File Sharing's Impact On Movies Is Modest At Most

disposable60 Re:So this means... (214 comments)

While I agree with you in principle, I hope you're either non-US or quite well off.
Otherwise, prepare for an unpleasant visit from some humorless MAFIAA (Music And Film Industry Associations of America) personnel.
Have you learned nothing from Snowden and what's-her-name?

about two weeks ago
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Predicting a Future Free of Dollar Bills

disposable60 Re:Drugs (753 comments)

And that's the number one reason cash will be eliminated.
No undocumented, untaxed, under-the-radar transactions will be tolerated.
No illegal drugs, no paid-for sex, no firearm/cash transactions.
The CashMax transaction that didn't require paperwork was $10k. I believe it's lower now.
Soon it'll wind up being $1.

about two weeks ago
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Geographic Segregation By Education

disposable60 Re:I'm trying to not get into a 4 yorkshiremen (230 comments)

A degree doesn't guarantee diddly - had a colleague, a hardware EE FIVE years out of school, who was unable over the course of a 4 month project to remember the difference between a BJT and a MOSFET, for between the two polarities thereof.

Most frustrating as the circuit in question used all 4 types, and every review had to start from square one or, at best two. FIVE years in industry.

about two weeks ago
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Scientists Have Developed a Material So Dark That You Can't See It

disposable60 Re:Paint for a room (238 comments)

A windowless room with a shielded door is waaay cheaper, and at least as effective.

about two weeks ago
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Scientists Have Developed a Material So Dark That You Can't See It

disposable60 Re:Paging Hagunenon Admiral (238 comments)

But now he's quite incapable of enjoying it.

about two weeks ago
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Biohackers Are Engineering Yeast To Make THC

disposable60 Re:Holy grey area! (159 comments)

Considering you can by raw poppy seeds which will grow into opium gum poppies and various other seeds which are sold as bird feed.

Provided you don't know that _all_ poppies are opium poppies, then it's legal to buy the seeds and grow the flowers.
Of course now that you know ...

about two weeks ago
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Asteroid Mining Bill Introduced In Congress To Protect Private Property Rights

disposable60 Re:Absurd (181 comments)

It regulates the behavior of the US Government WRT those companies, not the companies themselves.

about two weeks ago
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Microsoft Settles With No-IP After Malware Takedown

disposable60 Re:I see these and laugh (83 comments)

When lawyers make decisions, the decision is always 'Pay some lawyers!' Never 'Pay some engineers!'

about two weeks ago
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Meet the Muslim-American Leaders the FBI and NSA Have Been Spying On

disposable60 Re:i remember when (223 comments)

That's just pre-9/11 thinking.
Everything's different now - we got the National Security State we always dreamed of. Better, even!

about two weeks ago
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Foxconn Replacing Workers With Robots

disposable60 Re:It's working so well in Venezuela (530 comments)

Because they can't afford other entertainments.
Nor can they afford contraception (either financially or spiritually).

about two weeks ago
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Police Using Dogs To Sniff Out Computer Memory

disposable60 Re:How do you defeat dogs? (415 comments)

It's kinda remarkable how rarely Mythbusters bust a law-enforcement myth, or fail to bust an evasion myth.

about three weeks ago
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Employees Staying Away From Internal Corporate Social Networks

disposable60 Re:Brownnosebook (131 comments)

Nothing of any use to me ever came across it.

But how will you hear about the new cover sheets for the TPS reports, now?

about three weeks ago

Submissions

disposable60 hasn't submitted any stories.

Journals

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disposable60 disposable60 writes  |  more than 9 years ago

~
I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
            --Albert Einstein
~
You must be able to distinguish between what is true and what is real.
            -- A. Einstein
~
No trees were harmed in the production of this message; however many electrons
were horribly inconvenienced.
~
Never by hatred has hatred been appeased, only by kindness.
            -- the Buddha
~
Capitalism is fueled by Greed.
Socialism is fueled by Envy.
Which is your sin?
~
It's so convenient to have a system where everyone is a criminal
            -- A. Hitler
~
Hate is stronger than logic.
Ignorance is a tool.
Slogans are stronger than arguments.
No one knows the truth.
Everyone thinks they know the truth.
~
The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human
imagination
            -- Douglas Adams
~
Yeah, but you're taking the universe out of context.
            -- darthpenguin
~
DISCLAIMER: Use of this advanced computing technology does not imply an
endorsement of Western industrial civilization.
~
Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have
control over nothing.
            -- Herodotus
~
I miss the Cold War. At least WW3 was going to be over in the space of a
weekend, and we were fighting to be free. WW4 is going to last the rest of our
lives, and we're only fighting for our own security.

Even if we win, we lose.
~
As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both
instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged.
            -- Justice William O. Douglas, Supreme Court Justice
~
According to Ford Motor chairman Bill Ford, the company's Volvo subsidiary is
more profitable than its U.S. operation, even though wages and benefits are
significantly higher in Sweden. Government-subsidized health care, child care,
pensions, and other social supports more than make up for the difference.
            -- Mr. Smarty Pants
http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2004-12-03/cols_smartypants.html
~
[The obsession with predicting Apple's direction is] like IBM in the 60s
and the seventies, when all of the trade rags were committing acts of
stochastic tittilation trying to perceive the direction that an elephant
was going in from a point of view slightly below and in front if its tail.
            -- crovira (slashdot ID 10242)
~
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that
English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words;
on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
            -- James D. Nicoll
~
We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages
down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new
vocabulary.
            -- James D. Nicoll
~
As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness
surrounding it.
            -- A. Einstein
~
If French Fries = Freedom Fries and French Toast = Freedom Toast, I want to
leave the US and go live in Freedom
~
THE END OF 'THE WORLD' IS NIGH! It ends at 5:00. And then 'All Things
Considered' comes on.
            -- Bucky Katt
~
Believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk!
~
Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that
way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's
a warm day.
            -- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
~
WARNING: WE HAVE NOT CONDUCTED A FELONY-CONVICTION SEARCH OR FBI SEARCH ON
THIS INDIVIDUAL.
~
This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.
            -- Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
~
Fat,Dumb, and Happy? I wish, Me and my kids are stuck with the Thin,
Smart and Cynical gene.
~
If I wanted easy I wouldnt be an engineer or a patriot.
~
Support your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
            -- Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
~
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

My name is Darth Vader. I *am* your father. Prepare to die!

My name is Oedipus! *I* killed my father, fucked my mother, and I need a hug!
~
Liberal (adj.): Free from bigotry; open to progress; tolerant of others.
~
You can't reason someone out of something that he didn't reason himself into.
~
That's not even wrong...
            -- P.A.M. Dirac
~
Complexity is the enemy of elegance and power.
~
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
            -- Ben Williams
~
There is nothing so strong as gentleness, and there is nothing so gentle as
real strength.
            --St. Francis de Sales
~
Integrity has no need for rules
            (copied without attribution)
~
Send Lawyers, Guns and Money
The shit has hit the fan!
            -- Warren Zevon
~
If you're careful enough, nothing bad will ever happen to you.
Neither will anything good.
~
What do you know about music, you're not a lawyer...
~
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has
university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
            -- Theodore Roosevelt
~
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
            -- Dread Pirate Roberts to Princess Buttercup in _The Princess Bride_
~
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception,
is composed of others.
            -- John Andrew Holmes
~
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
            -- Ambrose Bierce
~
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
            -- David Russell
~
Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense,
founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity
against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen.
            -- Treaty of Tripoli, ratified unanimously by US Senate, 1797
~
[T]he Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense,
founded on the Christian religion.
            -- Treaty of Tripoli, ratified unanimously by US Senate, 1797
~
Reducing an issue to black/white clears the way for violence.
~
Logic is a wonderful thing but doesn't always beat actual thought.
            -- Terry Pratchett
~
Gods don't kill people, people with gods kill people.
~
People who need government to enforce their religion must not have much faith
in it.
~
If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.
~
Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat
white guy who is threatened by change.
            -- Family Guy
~
For years, I struggled with reality... but I'm happy to say I finally
won out over it.
            -- Elwood P. Dowd
~
U.S. Encouraged by Vietnam Vote - Officials Cite 83% Turnout Despite
Vietcong Terror - New York Times 9/3/1967
~
When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad
but they are always blind.
            -- Bill Moyers
~
I support your right to bear arms, but that doesn't mean I don't think
you're a psycho for owning a murder tool.
~
Under W the US is like a big geek: Technically powerful, but not popular.
~
I used to think that American militia groups were out of their minds.
Now I'm beginning to wonder.
~
Why is it a crime for a citizen to lie to an official, but not for an
official to lie to the citizen?
~
Now, I believe, in a democracy--and again, I wouldn't know, I've only lived in
this country...
            -- Jon Stewart
~
Truth is not determined by majority vote
~
You can have my cynical agnosticism when you pry it from my cold, dead logic.
~
As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what
I have to say.
            --George W. Bush
~
Whereas science will continue to try and resolve that open question,
religion would just arbitrarily make up some asinine answer on the
spot, declare itself completely and unquestionably correct, and then
mock anyone who did something so silly as suggest that maybe they
should have actually tried some observations and tests before coming
to a conclusion.
            -- the_mad_poster (640772) //slashdot.org/the_mad_poster
~
Do you realize that, simply owing to the earth's rotation, you are,
at this moment, moving at a rate of approximately 1000 mph? Probably
less since you are probably not at the equator. Also, Due to the earth's
orbit around the sun, were are traveling at approximately 67000mph.
According to findings of COBE, our galaxy is traveling at about 1.34
million mph.
~
Religious ceremonies are unholy.
            -- Heraclitus
~
Paranoia is the delusion that your enemies are organized.
            -- Arthur D. Hlavaty.
~
This is the Nineties, Bubba, and there is no such thing as Paranoia. It's all true.
            -- Hunter S Thompson
~
Let us not forget the most dangerous weapon of them all: The Human Mind.
The only blade more dangerous when dull than when sharp.
            -- NarrMaster (fark.com)
~
God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones.
            -- Douglas Adams
~
An atheist doesn't have to be someone who thinks he has a proof that there can't
be a god. He only has to be someone who believes that the evidence on the God
question is at a similar level to the evidence on the werewolf question.
            -- John McCarthy
~
Political language ... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder
respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
            -- George Orwell
~
When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.
            -- Henry Ward Beecher
~
Implicit in both of your arguments is the assumption that you can't both be
wrong. I see nothing to support this.
            -- ArbitraryConstant (denizen of FARK)
~
University politics are so vicious because the stakes are so small.
            -- Henry Kissinger
~
But I don't have to know an answer. I don't feel frightened by not knowing things,
by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the
way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly. It doesn't frighten me.
            -- Richard Feynman, Nobel Laureate, Physicist (1918-1988)
~
The Devil is not the Prince of Matter; the Devil is the arrogance of the spirit;
faith without a smile; truth that is never seized by doubt.
            -- Umberto Eco
~
Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a
cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids
dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and
it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of
all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
            -- Albert Einstein
~
FASCISM: A system of Government which exercises a dictatorship of the extreme right,
typically through the merging of state and business leadership, together with
belligerent nationalism.
~
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure
and the intelligent are full of doubt.
            -- Russell Baker
~
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant
fountains lie.
            -- Shakespeare
~
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin. It's the triumphant twang
of a bedspring.
            -- S. J. Perlman
~
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a
virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.
            -- Voltaire
~
Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes,
but which no democracy can afford among its citizens.
            -- William H. Beveridge, 1944
~
Historically, the Bible has been used to justify some stupefying crimes,
including slavery and genocide. I see no indication that we are any
better at divining the Lord's intent now than we ever were.
            -- Molly Ivins
~
Those terrorists don't scare me. At least not without the help of my government.
            -- Janet Barker, Pedicurist (the Onion 6/2/2004)
~
There's no point in questioning authority if you aren't going to listen
to the answers.
            -- rgmoore on slashdot
~
I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger,
the solution is ignorance.
            -- Isaac Asimov
~
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a
violent psychopath who knows where you live
            -- John F. Woods
~
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are
knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are
always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history
to allow for our current prejudices.
            -- Calvin, _Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat_, p152-1

~
In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
            -- George Orwell
~
Americans could not be more self absorbed if they were made of equal
parts water and paper towel.
            -- Dennis Miller
~
Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in
the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen
acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and
corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. To
take action in the face of a corrupt government entails risks of harm
to life and loved ones. To choose to do nothing is to surrender one's
self-image of standing for principles. Most people do not have the
courage to face that choice. Hence, most propaganda is not designed
to fool the critical thinker but only to give moral cowards an excuse
not to think at all.
            -- Michael Rivero
~
Propaganda is not designed to fool the critical thinker but only to
give moral cowards an excuse not to think at all.
            -- Michael Rivero
~
Churchill said, "Of all the virtues, the greatest is courage, because it
makes the others possible." Well, of all the sins, the worst is envy,
because it permits all the others.
            -- Mort Sahl
~
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be
slain, or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that
told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
            -- Charles Churchill II
~
I looked up the definition of "liberal" in a Random House dictionary.
It gave the synonyms for 'liberal' as 'progressive' 'broad-minded,'
'unprejudiced,' 'beneficent.' The antonyms it offered: 'reactionary'
and 'intolerant.'
            -- Walter Cronkite
~
Liberals by nature look for information and conservatives look for
ammunition.
            -- Al Franken
~
We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his
own facts.
            -- Patrick Moynihan
~
Ideas have power - as long as they are not frozen in doctrine.
            -- Bill Moyers
~
[T]he great enemy of sensible reform has been, of course, politicians
high from righteousness.
            -- William F. Buckley
~
Real politics are not possible when people abdicate the responsibility
to think in favor of ideology, because ideology is always the enemy of
thought.
            -- Charles Taylor (Salon Magazine 20030428)
~
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish,
cutting the heart asunder.
            -- Virginia Woolfe
~
Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important
to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
            -- Isaac Asimov
~
The trouble with our Texas Baptists is that we do not hold them under
water long enough
            -- Texas newspaperman William Brann
~
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last
resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but
inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
            -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
~
Love is in the offing.
            -- The Homicidal Maniac
~
Facts are stupid things.
            -- President Ronald Reagan
~
Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will
shape you.
            -- Albert Einstein
~
A tautology is a thing which is tautological.
~
Knowledge is useful. It can be used for good things. It can be used for
bad things. It isn't possible to remove knowledge from our environment,
and we would be foolish to do so with regard to any piece or class of
information. Destroying knowledge is a bad thing. People who do stupid
things with hazardous materials often die.
            -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
~
People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.
            -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
~

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.
            -- Dave Butler
~
Vegetables are what food eats.
Fruit are vegetables that fool you by tasting good.
Fish are fast moving vegetables.
Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
            -- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
~
Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.
              -- Thomas Jefferson
~
Fascism should more properly be called corporatism, since it is the
merger of state and corporate power.
              -- Benito Mussolini.
~
Power corrupts; PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.
              -- Vint Cerf
~
[I]f there's one thing sure as Bush's fatuity, it's that our creative
corporate execs will find every loophole.
                -- Molly Ivins 8/20/2002
~
Order is for idiots. Genius can handle chaos.

                      -- ?
~ ...we must counterpose the overwhelming judgment provided by consistent
observations and inferences by the thousands. The earth is billions of
years old and its living creatures are linked by ties of evolutionary
descent. Scientists stand accused of promoting dogma by so stating, but
do we brand people illiberal when they proclaim that the earth is
neither flat nor at the center of the universe? Science *has* taught us
some things with confidence! Evolution on an ancient earth is as well
established as our planet's shape and position. Our continuing struggle
to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of evolution" --
into doubt.
            -- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical
                  Inquirer, Vol XII No. 2

~
The true individualist has the courage to wear a mask.

                        -- Mary McCarthy, _A Charmed Life_
~
I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.

                        -- Douglas Adams
~
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer
to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

                        -- queenb**ch on slashdot
~
Discussion can accomplish only so much, and then a wife and husband need
to cling to each other naked in the dark and be silent in the presence
of the essential mystery.

                                    -- Garrison Keillor
~
Minnesota produces tall sinewy women who can paddle a canoe, handle an
ax, dance the tango, manage money, write a paper on "Hamlet" and at the
end of the day do things that make a man faint from ecstasy.

                                    -- Garrison Keillor
~
The good Earth -- we could have saved it, but we were too damn cheap and
lazy.

                                    -- Kurt Vonnegut
~
[A] young woman with a "prim little narrow-minded smile."

                                    -- Raymond Chandler
~
For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to abandon our views
about them.

                                    -- Thich Nhat Hanh (Viet Buddhist)
~
I was not only picked on physically but intellectually -- people used to
kick copies of George Sand in my face.

                                    -- Robin Williams
~
Whatever our media -- magnetic, mimeographed or multi- -- the
marketplace will find a way to draw a pair of tits on it.

                                    -- Ian Christe
~
[H]ypocrisy is nothing but good manners, when dealing with the
pretensions of others

                                    -- Gore Vidal
~
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you
know it.

                  - 'K' from _Men In Black_
~
Without lies humanity would perish of despair and boredom.

                  - Anatole France
~
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And
although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what
I'm left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that
I can't quite remember.

                  - George Carlin
~
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people
who believe it.

                  - George Carlin
~
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is
being carried out.

                  - George Carlin
~
Sometimes, when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking
I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

                  - George Carlin
~
Always store beer in a dark place.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous
to man--man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition.
He has no enemy to help him.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet,
you can't win.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proven innocent.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
Then do it.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your
second shot perfect.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no
evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why
fret about it?

                  - Lazarus Long
~
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is an opinion.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another-but
which one? Differences are crucial.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer
should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around
she deserved.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's
beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from
drowning them at birth.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described
"pacifists" are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the
wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts; it enhances
their charm by making them look lived in and happy.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A generation, which ignores history, has no past-and no future.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any
rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to
stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people
do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive
considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may
offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without
hate--and quickly.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A motion to adjourn is always in order.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and,
in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their
sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it." Later on, this custom
declined. So did Rome.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of
nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing-with "obscenity" and "indecent
exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
It is better to copulate than never.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young
children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or
folly which can-and must-be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime
function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other
basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any
foundation other than "Women and children first!" is not only witless,
it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all
of them male) have tried endlessly-and no doubt will keep on trying.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
All men are created unequal.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
When the need arises-and it does-you must be able to shoot your own dog.
Don't farm it our-that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.
Moderation is for monks.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better
still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more
sanitary.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking
his self-interest gives you more leverage.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having
both at once.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. Circumstances
can force your hand. So think ahead!

                  - Lazarus Long
~
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

                  - Lazarus Long
~
[E]verything famous is Holy

                  - Cintra Wilson
~
For ten years, Ceasar ruled with an iron hand, then with a wooden foot,
and finally with a piece of string.

                  - Spike Milligan,
                      _The Goon Show_, "The Histories of Pliny the Elder"
~
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

                  - Dan Quayle
~
A computer cuts your work in half and gives you back the bloody stumps.

                  - Unknown
~
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary;
men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.

                  - Joseph Conrad
~
The Puritan through Life's sweet garden goes
To pluck the thorn and cast away the rose.

                  - Kenneth Hare
~
The garb of religion is the best cloak for power.

                  - William Hazlitt,
                      "On the Clerical Character," Political Essays, (1819)
~
It never ceases to amaze me at how many religions depend upon
circumsized penises.

                  - Dawn Henderson
~
The Meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise
and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.

                  - Lew Mammel, Jr.
~
I think science has enjoyed an extraordinary success because it has such
a limited and narrow realm in which to focus its efforts. Namely, the
physical universe.

                  - Ken Jenkins
~
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send
peace, but a sword.

                  - Jesus, Matthew 10:34
~
But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them,
bring hither, and slay them before me.

                  - Jesus, Luke 19:27
~
Adultery is in your heart not only when you look with excessive sexual
zeal at a woman who is not your wife, but also if you look in the same
manner at your wife.

                  - Pope John Paul II
~
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in
the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under
English law at that time.

                  - Garrison Keillor
~
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it
turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

                  - Anne Lamott
~
Any body of men who believe in hell will persecute whenever they have
the power.

                  - Joseph McCabe, "What Gods Cost Men"
~
The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they
do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

                  - H.L. Mencken
~
It is only the savage, whether of the African bush or of the
American gospel tent, who pretends to know the will and intent
of God exactly and completely.

                  - H.L. Mencken
~
It is interesting that every time God gives direct orders to anyone, it
is always "Thou shalt kill."

                  - Newsweek magazine
~
Fundamentalism isn't about religion. It's about power.

                  - Salman Rushdie
~
MORAL CRUSADE: Public activity undertaken by middle-aged men who are
cheating on their wives or diddling little boys. Moral crusades are
particularly popular among those who are seeking power for their own
personal pleasure, politicians who can't think of anything useful to
do with their mandates and religious professionals suffering from a
personal inability to communicate with their god. In military terms,
a diversionary tactic.

                  -John Ralston Saul, "The Doubter's Companion"
~
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false,
and by the rulers as useful.

                  - Seneca the Younger (4? B.C. - 65 A.D.)
~
The man who says to me, 'Believe as I do, or God will damn you,'
will presently say, 'Believe as I do, or I shall assassinate you.'

                  - Voltaire (1694-1778)
~
It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most
anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are
wearing the dresses.

                  - Flo Kennedy
~
It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If
they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men,
the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.

                  - Helen Keller
~
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

                  - ?
~
The main doctrine of a fanatic's creed is that his enemies are the
enemies of God.

                  - Andrew White
~
Fundamentalism means never having to say "I'm wrong."

                  - ?
~
It's your god.
They're your rules.
*You* go to hell.

                  - ?
~
You Go Yahweh - and I'll go Mine!

                  - ?
~
Belief in heaven is impossible in the absence of a greedy desire for it.

                  - ?
~
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.

                  - ?
~
We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance,
persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs are supported
and validated by my convictions.

Oh, and never forget .... my religion is truth, yours is a lie.

              - Religion, paraphrased (unknown)
~
If the Bible proves that God exists then comic books prove the existence
of Superman.

            - Seen on the #Atheism IRC
~
A zealot's stones will break my bones, but gods will never hurt me.

                  - ?
~
The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages--
  as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.

                  - Edward Abbey
~
Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require
unanimity of belief. One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions.

Thus the fear and hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the
gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward.

                  - Edward Abbey
~
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.

                  - Edward Abbey
~
A good philosopher is one who does not take ideas seriously.

                  - Edward Abbey
~
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good,
you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

                  - Howard Aiken
~
I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by
reorganizing, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion
of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

                  - Petronius Arbiter (66 A.D.)
~
If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't
have a clear idea.

                  - David Belasco
~
He's acting alone. He's cut off from his chain of command. He's
exhibiting symptoms of pressure-induced psychosis, and he has a nuclear
weapon. So as a personal favor to me, would you lay off him?

                  - Bud Brigman, _The Abyss_
~
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The
important question is whether they are in a position to do anything
about it.

                  - William S Burroughs
~
Any person who values a religion above the respect and kindness which
every human being deserves is unspeakably depraved and should have no
place in your life whatsoever - and the moreso if such perverts are
your own parents.

                  - Jack Carroll
~
You're damn right we need a rational code of morality and ethics. But
not much progress can be made in that direction while we've still got a
majority ranting about gods, devils, souls, and absolute morality, and
using an ancient book written by ignorant nomads as a guide.

                  - Doug Graham
~
For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with
warm iron. For not so good results: drag behind car through puddles,
blow-dry on roofrack.

                  - HEET (A Korean clothes manufacturer - these are laundry
                                            instructions found on one of their shirts)
~
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

                  - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900)
~
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from
religious conviction.

                  - Blaise Pascal
~
Literature is news that stays news.

                  - Ezra Pound
~
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the
torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.

                  - Don Schrader
~
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.

                  - Solomon Short
~
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a
garage makes you an automobile.

                  - Billy Sunday
~
Friends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree,
it is only in the conclusions; their reasons are always different.

                  - George Santayana , Persons and Places:
                                                                    The Middle Span,1945
~
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any
other reason but because they are not already common.
            -- John Locke , An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, 1690
~
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course,
powerful muscles, but no personality.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if
you don't.

                  - Pete Seeger
~
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War
IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

          - Albert Einstein
~
Reality is that part of the imagination we all agree on.

                  - unknown
~
When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the
conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent
for absorbing positive knowledge.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
We more frequently fail to face the right problem than fail to solve the
problem we face.

                  - unknown
~
Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.

                  - unknown
~
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.

                  - unknown
~
There are two ways to slice easily thorugh life; to believe everything
or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking.

                  - Alfred Korzybski
~
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten
your aim.

                  - George Santayana
~
A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the
damned things is ample.

                  - Rebecca West
~
A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him
what he meant.

                  - Wilson Mizner
~
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and
original in your work.

                  - Flaubert
~
Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain
unsoundness of mind.

                  - Thomas Macaulay
~
There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is
to like it rationally.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The
reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of
thirty-five.

                  - Joel Hildebrand
~
Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge.

                  - Kahlil Gibran
~
To treat your facts with imagination is one thing, but to imagine your
facts is another.

                  - John Burroughs
~
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention
in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and
tequila.

                  - Mitch Ratcliffe
~
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

                  - Unknown
~
Fun is good.

                  - Dr. Seuss
~
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
            -- Janet Reno , US Attorney General, 02-27-98
~
Reality is for people who lack imagination

                  - unknown
~
A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

                  - Louis Nizer
~
What if all the myths were true...

                  - Liu Kang
~
Freedom can be a frightening thing when you are not used to it.

                  - Zana Muhsen
~
You are the product of your own brainstorm.

                  - Rosemary Konner Steinbaum
~
A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

                  - Don Marquis
~
In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,
murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo de Vinci,
and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, they had
five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce?
The cuckoo clock.

          -- Graham Greene
~
You are not thinking. You are merely being logical.

          -- Neils Bohr to Albert Einstein
~
If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than
religion.

          - Goncourt
~
It is sometimes useful to pretend we are deceived, because when we show
a deceiving man that we see through his artifices, we only encourage him
to increase his deceptions.

                  - Madame de Sable
~
Honest and sincere acts mislead the wicked and cause them to lose their
path to their own goals, because mean-spirited people usually believe
that people never act without deceit.

                  - Madame de Sable
~
It is nothing short of a miracle that modern methods of instruction have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiousity of inquiry.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Natural selection is a mechanism for generating an exceedingly high
degree of improbability.

                  - Fisher, Ronald Aylmer (1890 - 1962)
~
Writing briefly takes far more time than writing at length.

                  - Gauss, Karl Friedrich (1777-1855)
~
A science is said to be useful if its development tends to accentuate
the existing inequalities in the distribution of wealth, or more
directly promotes the destruction of human life.

                  - Hardy, Godfrey H. (1877 - 1947)
~
If we evolved a race of Isaac Newtons, that would not be progress. For
the price Newton had to pay for being a supreme intellect was that he
was incapable of friendship, love, fatherhood, and many other
desirable things. As a man he was a failure; as a monster he was superb.

                  - Aldous Huxley
~
It is the first duty of a hypothesis to be intelligible.

                  - Huxley, Thomas Henry (1825-1895)
~
Logic doesn't apply to the real world.

                  - Minsky, Marvin Lee (1927 -)
~
To be sure, mathematics can be extended to any branch of knowledge,
including economics, provided the concepts are so clearly defined as to
permit accurate symbolic representation. That is only another way of
saying that in some branches of discourse it is desirable to know what
you are talking about.

                  - J. R. Newman
~
We are usually convinced more easily by reasons we have found ourselves
than by those which have occurred to others.

                  - Pascal, Blaise (1623-1662)
~
Few men speak humbly of humility, chastely of chastity, skeptically of
skepticism.

                  - Pascal, Blaise (1623-1662)
~
Reason's last step is the recognition that there are an infinite number
of things which are beyond it.

                  - Pascal, Blaise (1623-1662)
~
In the fall of 1972, President Nixon announced that the rate of increase
of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president
used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection.

                  - Hugo Rossi
~
Only mathematics and mathematical logic can say as little as the
physicist means to say.

                  - Bertrand Russell
~
Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near
the earth's surface relatively to other such matter; second, telling
other people to do so. The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid; the
second is pleasant and highly paid.

                  - Bertrand Russell
~
"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is
the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

                  - Alfred North Whitehead
~
Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of
simplicity.

                  - Zeeman, E Christopher (1925 - )
~
Whatever a man prays for, he prays for a miracle. Every prayer reduces
itself to this: `Great God, grant that twice two be not four'.

                  - Turgenev, Ivan Sergeievich (1818 - 1883)
~
Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes
them sinful.

                  - Luther, Martin (1483-1546)
~
We used to think that if we knew one, we knew two, because one and one
are two. We are finding that we must learn a great deal more about `and'.

                  - Eddington, Sir Arthur (1882-1944)
~
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my
contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the
spinal cord would suffice."

                  - Mark Twain
~
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

                  - Wilson Mizner
~
Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the
systematic organization of hatreds.

                  - Henry Adams
~
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.

                  - Mike Adams
~
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have
one.

                  - Stella Adler
~
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.

                  - Diana Black
~
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the
opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

                  - Niels Bohr
~
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he
is trying to be funny.

                  - Guy Davenport
~
You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.

                  - Doug Floyd
~
If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be
misinterpreted.

                  - H. R. Haldeman
~
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but
have only one course of action.

                  - Frank Herbert
~
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the
plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of
Francis Bacon.

                  - Bill Hirst
~
I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man
carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the
man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the
pig.

                  - Alfred Hitchcock
~
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

                  - Kin Hubbard
~
Physics isn't a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time
raising money.

                  - Leon Lederman
~
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it
should end there.

                  - Claire Boothe Luce
~
No good deed goes unpunished.

                  - Claire Boothe Luce
~
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives.

                  - John Stuart Mill
~
Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.

                  - Erik Pepke
~
Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret,
especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous.

                  - William Proxmire
~
All great truths begin as blasphemies.

                  - George Bernard Shaw
~
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to
fill the world with fools.

                  - Herbert Spencer
~
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

                  - H. G. Wells
~
Consistency is the last resort of the unimaginative.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

                  - Friedrich Nietzsche
~
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. . . the other eight
are unimportant.

                  - Herny Miller
~
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the
poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal
bread.

                  - Anatole France
~
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in
moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification
for selfishness.

                  - John Kenneth Galbraith
~
I think it would be a good idea.

            -- Mahatma Ghandi, when asked what he thought of
            &nb

top

disposable60 disposable60 writes  |  more than 9 years ago

~
In the beginning there was nothing... which exploded.

                  - The shortened Big Bang theory
~
Cognitive Dissonance Is Your Friend.

                  - J. Michael Straczynski
~
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is an absurd one.

                  - Voltaire
~
Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet.

                - Unknown
~
Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman
she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again.

                  - TV listing for the movie, _The Wizard of Oz_,
                                              in the Marin Paper.
~
Big Bird meets Salvador Dali has been brought to you by the numbers L
and ), and by the letter 3.

            -- D. J. Green
~
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
  To get to the other... er... um..."

                  - Unknown, via Kim Asher
~
You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good
fondling..."

                  - the Discordian Quote File
~
They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted
me.

                  - Nathaniel Lee, on being consigned to a mental institution,
                                      circa 17th century.
~
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

                  - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
~
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished
from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

                  - Ambrose Bierce
~
A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.

                  - Adlai Stevenson
~
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human
soul.

                  - Samuel Clemens
~
Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to
live in the real world.

                  - Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden
~
Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to
time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Half of the world's misery comes from ignorance.
The other half comes from intelligence.

                  - Bonar Thompson
~
The most violent element in society is ignorance.

                  - Emma Goldman
~
The trade of governing has always been monopolized by the most ignorant
and the most rascally individuals of mankind.

                  - Thomas Paine
~
A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy,
education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would
indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment
and hope of reward after death.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more
certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie
through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but
through striving after rational knowledge.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.

                  - Bertrand Russell
~
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

                  - Bertrand Russell
~
The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral was,
as we see in the above passages from St. Paul, based upon the view that
all sexual intercourse, even within marriage, is regrettable. A view of
this sort, which goes against biological facts, can only be regarded by
sane people as a morbid aberration. The fact that it is embedded in
Christian ethics has made Christianity throughout its whole history a
force tending towards mental disorders and unwholesome views of life.

                  - Bertrand Russell
~
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

                  - Galileo Galilei
~
I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world,
and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one
redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.

                  - Thomas Jefferson
~
The clergy believe that any portion of power confided to me, will be
exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly: for I
have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of
tyrrany known to the mind of man.

                  - Thomas Jefferson
~
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your
unit.

                  - In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine,
                      the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
~
The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what
to think - rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for
ourselves, than to load the memory with the thoughts of other men.

                  - Bill Beattie
~
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

                  - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
~
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

                  - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
~
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

                  - Napoleon
~
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.

                  - Kurt Vonnegut
~
An idea that is not dangerous is not worthy of being called an idea at
all.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If
we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people
for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love
of power.

                  - P. J. O'Rourke
~
Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country
was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and
independence by daring to exercise them.

                  - Joseph Heller, _Catch-22_
~
People everywhere enjoy believing things that they know are not true.
It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves and taking
responsibility for what they know.

                    - Brook Atkinson, _Once Around the Sun_
~
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a
philosopher.

                    - Ambrose Bierce
~
History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which
are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

                  - Ambrose Bierce, _The Devils Dictionary_
~
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the
nature of the Unknowable.

                  - Ambrose Bierce, _The Devils Dictionary_
~
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no
God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.

                    - Thomas Jefferson
~
It is not disbelief that is dangerous to our society, it is belief.

                  - George Bernard Shaw
~
I think anybody who surveys past history in an impartial manner will be
driven to the conclusion that religion has caused more suffering than it
has prevented.

                    - Bertrand Russell "What is an Agnostic"
~
If I were granted omnipotence, and millions of years to experiment in,
I should not think Man much to boast of as the final result of all my
efforts.

                  - Bertrand Russell "Cosmic Purpose"
~
I'd hate to be a teenager at the cusp of the 21st century. It's nothing
but a siege of enforced arrested development.

                  - Susie Bright
~
The petitions which were offered on the altars of Jupiter or Apollo
expressed the anxiety of their worshippers for temporal happiness, and
their ignorance or indifference concerning future life. The important
truth of the immortality of the soul was inculcated with more diligence
as well as success in India, in Assyria, in Egypt, and in Gaul; and
since we cannot attribute such a difference to the superior knowledge
of the barbarians, we must ascribe it to the influence of an established
priesthood, which employed the motives of virtue as the instrument of
ambition.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
The church of Rome defended by violence the empire which she had
acquired by fraud.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
The invitations of a master are scarcely distinguished from commands

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... the timid are always cruel,

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... whose merit is loudly celebrated by the doubtful evidence of his own
applause

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... ecclesiastical writers, who, in the heat of religious faction, are
apt to despise the profane virtues of sincerity and moderation.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
There exists in human nature a strong propensity to deprecate the
advantages, and to magnify the evils, of present times.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... ridicule, more pernicious, perhaps, than hatred to a public
character.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
the calamities of the wicked are judgements, and those of the righteous,
trials.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... the theological disputes of the schools were suspended by propitious
ignorance; and the intolerant spirit, which could find neither idolaters
nor heretics, was reduced to the persecution of Jews.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ .. and the war was preceded, according to the practice of civilised
nations, by the most solemn protestations that each party was sincerely
desirous of peace.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... a vulgar truth - that flattery adheres to power, and envy to
superior merit.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
It is the first care of a reformer to prevent any further reformations.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
His passions were strong; his understanding was feeble

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
This opinion is only rhetoric turned into logic.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... the vices of the clergy are far less dangerous than their virtues.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
the human fancy can paint with more energy the misery than the bliss of
a future life.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... the means of persuasion had been tried, the season of forbearance
was elapsed, and he was now commanded to propagate his religion by the
sword.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~ ... fanaticism obliterates the feelings of humanity.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
Ignorance is the ground of suspicion

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
Prejudice is blind, hunger is deaf

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
The Catholic inquisitors of Europe, who defended nonsense by cruelty

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
But it is always easy, as well as agreeable, for the inferior ranks of
mankind to claim a merit from the contempt of that pomp and pleasure
which fortune has placed beyond their reach. The virtue of the primitive
Christians, like that of the first Romans, was frequently guarded by
poverty and ignorance.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
The voice of history, which is often little more than the organ of
hatred or flattery...

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
In every art that he attempted his lively genius enabled him to succeed;
and as his genius was destitute of judgement, he attempted every art
except the important ones of war and government.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
Revenge is profitable, gratitude is expensive.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
But the nobles of Rome were more tenacious of property than of freedom.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
Of the various forms of government which have prevailed in this world,
an hereditary monarchy seems to present the fairest scope for ridicule.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
Suspicion was equivalent of proof; trial to condemnation.

                  - Edward Gibbon
~
His virtues, and even his vices were artificial

                  - Edward Gibbon on Ceasar Augustus
~
The fool thinks he knows many things, but really he is incapable of
fixing his gaze on the things that truly matter.

                  - John Paul II, pope.
~
Now, at the end of this century, one of the greatest threats is the
temptation to despair.

                  - John Paul II, pope.
~
It is a stupid society that runs an experiment to see what its breaking
points are.

                  - Lester Thurow
~
People in general love the familiar and predictable and have "crawly"
sensations at the unfamiliar and unpredictable.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
There are only two kinds of artists: the plagiarists and the
revolutionaries.

                  - Paul Gauguin
~
[B]ourgeois "niceness" is its own imperialism.

                  - Camille Paglia
~
We have a gigantic educational assembly line that coercively processes
students and treats them with Ritalin or therapy if they can't sit still
in the cage.

                  - Camille Paglia
~
The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history.
The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext
is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what
was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept
your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.

                  - Zappa
~
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
The early bird gets the worm,
                  but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
The first boat people were white

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Happiness is an automatic weapon with a belt feed

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without
holding on.

                  - Dean Martin
~
Clap one hand if you love Budda

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

                  - Jello Biafra
~
Normal people worry me

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons For You Are Crunchy And Good
With Ketchup.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
Where There's A Whip, There's A Way.

                  - Bumper Sticker
~
After all, religion is an adolescent social device; it takes serious
and grown-up concern -- spirituality -- and by its very nature reduces
it to both an adolescent sense of eternity and an adolescent moral
scheme in which absolutely everything is cast in stark contrasts, in
which whatever doubt and mystery can't be bleached out of human
experience is codified into ritual and myth.

                  - Steve Erikson, Salon Magazine, Mar. 3, 1999
~
Stealing, if you do not already have money, is a perilous matter.

                  - C. Wright Mills
~
Be satisfied with discontent. It is a road.

                  - Sallie Tisdale, _Second Thoughts_
~
Without the influence of certain hormones, striptease is nothing but
dadaist ballet.

                  - Rolf Potts, Salon Magazine, Jan. 20, 1999
~
Puritanism is insatiable and feeds on its own excrement.

                  - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
~
You can starve in the middle of a field of wheat if your mind hasn't
identified wheat as edible.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
It was like Salvador Dali complaining Picasso wasn't realistic.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

                  - Pablo Picasso
~
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow...

                  - Zappa
~
[A]fter the Utopian hopes of the American Declaration of Independence
and the French Declaration of the Rights of Man, almost as if in
reaction, an employee of the British East India Company, Thomas Malthus,
created the first "scientific" argument that the ideals of those documents
could never be achieved. Malthus had discovered that at his time world
population was growing faster than known resources, and he assumed that
this would always be true, and that misery would always be the fate of
the majority of humanity.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
After the coming of the Holy Inquisition, nobody discovered any new
chemical elements in the Catholic nations of Europe; all the new
chemical discoveries, i.e., the majority of the elements now known,
came from Protestant nations.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
Citizens of the U.S. now suffer the surrealist humiliation of urine
testing on the job by our new Piss Police, a kind of totalitarian lunacy
never dreamed of in the wildest satires of Kafka or Orwell.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
[W]e more and more live with a technology that our alleged rulers do not
understand well enough to regulate in any way.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
[S]ome people get curious about books they are forbidden to read

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
Cynics will say that, since deities and divinities do not appear in
person, this is not only Argument by Authority but also Argument by
Imposture.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
The doctrine of eminent domain, which allows the government to steal
anything it wants, is regarded with repugnance by most people, but
lawyers say it is legal and proper, because government has been stealing
things for a long time.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
The universe is a giant Rorschach ink-blot.

                  - Alan Watts
~
[A] few weird moments can be a liberating experience for those who
aren't scared to death by them.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
These intolerable cults have served to confirm me in my agnosticism by
presenting further evidence to support my contention that when dogmas
enter the brain, all intellectual activity ceases.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
"Reality" is a word in the English language which happens to be (a) a
noun and (b) singular. Briefly, the main thing I learned in my experiments
is that "reality" is always plural and mutable.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as
one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops
thinking about that aspect of existence. The more certitude one assumes,
the less there is left to think about, and a person sure of everything
would never have any need to think about anything and might be
considered clinically dead under current medical standards, where
absence of brain activity is taken to mean that life has ended.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
[M]any people make decisions on the basis of scientific evidence, either
because they understand it, or because they think it is another form of
Argument by Authority and they are conditioned to accept whatever
Authority tells them. That's why there are so many nuclear plants around
these days.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
I believe that everything admirable in the modern world results from the
use of Argument by Experiment together with Argument by Logic (without
making an Idol of either), whereas everything heinous and terrible
results from the persistence of the older habits of Arguments by
Authority, Intimidation, Self-Interest and Legal Precedent, or the
various forms of calling the other side sons of bitches.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
[A]n Englishman never believes anybody is moral unless they are
uncomfortable.

                  - George Bernard Shaw
~
Republicanism is a problem, but if he still has a sense of humor, maybe
you can kid him out of it.

                  - Mr. Blue (Garrison Keillor)
~
Time flies like an arrow.
                  Fruit flies like a banana.

                  - Groucho
~
If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve
enough to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

                  - Vonnegut
~
Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

                  - Zappa
~
Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

                  - Zappa
~
Jazz is not dead...it just smells funny.

                  - Zappa
~
Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?

                  - Zappa
~
Diamonds on velvets on goldens on vixen
On comet & cupid on donner & blitzen
On up & away & afar & a go-go
Escape from the weight of your corporate logo!

                  - Zappa
~
Some Scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the
basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is
more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of
the universe.

                  - Zappa
~
I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm
not white.

                  - Zappa
~
Information is not knowledge, Knowledge is not wisdom, Wisdom is not
truth, Truth is not beauty, Beauty is not love, Love is not music and
Music is THE BEST

                  - Zappa
~
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do
something we'd all love one another.

                  - Zappa
~
The person who stands up and says, ``This is stupid,'' either is asked
to `behave' or, worse, is greeted with a cheerful ``Yes, we know! Isn't
it terrific!''

                  - Zappa
~
The more BORING a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the
child, receive adulation for being GOOD PARENTS -- because they have a
TAME CHILD-CREATURE in their house.

                  - Zappa
~
The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause
eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed
stick conducts his business.

                  - Zappa
~
My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy
child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

                  - Zappa
~
The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the
exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.

                  - Zappa
~
There is no hell. There is only France.

                  - Zappa
~
Some people crave baseball -- I find this unfathomable -- but I can
easily understand why a person could get excited about playing a bassoon.

                  - Zappa
~
Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so
long as it doesn't cause a murder.

                  - Zappa
~
Politics is the showbiz of industry.

                  - Zappa
~
Let's just admit that public education is mediocre at best.

                  - Zappa
~
Without deviation from the norm, 'progress' is not possible.

                  - Zappa
~
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting
air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

                  - Zappa
~
There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful,
that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.

                  - Zappa
~
When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children?

                  - Zappa
~
Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people
think you are?

                  - Zappa
~
Information doesn't kill you...

                  - Zappa
~
A lot of things wrong with society today are directly attributable to
the fact that the people who make the laws are sexually maladjusted.

                  - Zappa
~
You can't write a chord ugly enough to say what you want sometimes, so
you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

                  - Zappa
~
Kid's heads are filled with so many nonfacts that when they get out of
school they're totally unprepared to do anything. They can't read, they
can't write, they can't think. Talk about child abuse. The U.S. school
system as a whole qualifies.

                  - Zappa
~
Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on

                  - Zappa
~
Filipinos want beauty. I have to look beautiful so that the poor
Filipinos will have a star to look at from their slums.

                  - Imelda Marcos
~
I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into
one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys.

                  - Dennis Rodman, 1997
~
I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best
dancer, that's for sure.

                  - Michael Flatley
~
I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

                  - David Lee Roth
~
I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent
man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man.

                  - Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
~
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

                  - Marshall McLuhan
~
Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most.

                  - Steven Tyler
~
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

                  - David Dinkins
~
I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars
there, it's so petty.

                  - Imelda Marcos
~
Moses dragged us through the desert to the one place in the Middle East
where there is no oil.

                  - Golda Meir
~
Somebody's boring me . . . I think it's me.

                  - Dylan Thomas
~
Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released
by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough
emission standards from man-made sources.

                  - Ronald Reagan (10 Sept. 1980)
~
Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed.

                  - Bruce Springsteen
~
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong
underarm deoderant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes,
too.

                  - George Burns
~
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

                  - Dorothy Parker
~
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

                  - Will Rogers
~
Have no fear of perfection- you'll never reach it.

                  - Salvador Dali
~
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

                  - Linda Furney
~
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

                  - Dan Quayle
~
If you can't convince them, confuse them.

                  - Harry S Truman
~
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

                  - George Carlin
~
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

                  - Neil Peart
~
Impropriety is the soul of wit.

                  - W. Somerset Maugham
~
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

                  - George Bernard Shaw
~
It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love,
drunk, or running for office.

                  - Shirley MacLaine
~
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

                  - Groucho Marx
~
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!

                  - Tommy Smothers
~
Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.

                  - Abbie Hoffman
~
Success is a great deodorant.

                  - Elizabeth Taylor
~
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

                  - Roseanne Arnold
~
The future will be better tomorrow.

                  - Dan Quayle
~
Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity.

                  - Nick Diamos
~
Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.

                  - Shelley
~
We are as gods. We might as well get good at it.

                  - Stewart Brand
~
Dare to be naive.

                  - R. Buckminster Fuller
~
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

                  - Wilde
~
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people
very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because
he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst
all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good
time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more
intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what
the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and
be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and
reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the
chronicler's mind.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
          `You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance
                  company directors?'
          `Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'
          Trillian frowned.
          `What do you mean, offence?'
          `I see.'

                  - Douglas Adams, from Mostly Harmless
~
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to
consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family
anatidae on our hands.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
The [eagle's] beak was a major piece of armoury. It was a beak that
would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and
in a tin.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Virtually everything we were told in Indonesia turned out not to be true,
sometimes almost immediately. The only exception to this was when we were
told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out
not to be true over an extended period of time.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Gratitude is a euphemism for resentment.

                  - Heinlein
~
Man is the animal that laughs.

                  - Heinlein
~
A desire not to butt into other people's business is at least eighty
percent of all human wisdom . . . and the other twenty percent isn't
very important.

                  - Heinlein
~
[L]ook at it this way. Religion is a solace to many people and it is
even conceivable that some religion, somewhere, really is Ultimate Truth.
But in many cases, being religious is merely a form of conceit. The Bible
Belt faith in which I was brought up encouraged me to think that I was
better than the rest of the world; I was 'saved' and they were 'damned'
-- we were in a state of grace and the rest of the world were 'heathens'
  . . . and by 'heathen' they meant such people as our brother Mahmoud.
It meant that an ignorant, stupid lout who seldom bathed and planted his
corn by the phase of the Moon could claim to know the final answers of
the Universe. That entitled him to look down his nose at everybody else.
Our hymn book was loaded with such arrogance--mindless, conceited,
self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a
high opinion he had of us and us alone, and what hell everybody else was
going to catch come Judgement Day.

                  - Heinlein
~
They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it's the only thing
that'll make it stop hurting.

                  - Heinlein
~
Abstract design is all right--for wallpaper or linoleum. But art is the
process of evoking pity and terror, which is not abstract at all but very
human. What the self-styled modern artists are doing is a sort of
unemotional pseudo-intellectual masturbation . . . whereas creative art
is more like intercourse, in which the artist must seduce--render
emotional--his audience, each time.

                  - Heinlein
~
[O]bscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.

                  - Heinlein
~
If a man swore to me on a stack of his own Bibles that he had refrained
from coveting another man's wife because the code forbade it, I would
suspect either self-deception or subnormal sexuality.

                  - Heinlein
~
Age does not bring wisdom ... but it does give perspective . . . and the
saddest perspective of all is to see far, far behind you, the temptations
you've passed up.

                  - Heinlein
~
Goodness without wisdom invariably accomplishes evil.

                  - Heinlein
~
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I
tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free
because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

                  - Heinlein
~
Women are amazing creatures--sweet, soft, gentle, and far more savage
than we are.

                  - Heinlein
~
[G]overnment is a dangerous servant and a terrible master.

                  - Heinlein
~
. . when faced with a problem you do not understand, do any part of it
you do understand, then look at it again.

                  - Heinlein
~
Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which
we live.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm
not sure about the former.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for
reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's
relativity

                  - Albert Einstein
~
Faith is precious. Religion is politics.

                  - Don Symes
~
Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure, and never simple

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the
young know everything.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is
absolutely fatal.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Scandal is gossip made tedious with morality.

                  - Oscar Wilde
~
Room service? Send up a larger room.

                  - Groucho
~
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

                  - Groucho
~
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

                  - Groucho
~
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to
get rid of it.

                  - Groucho
~
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

                  - Groucho
~
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

                  - Groucho
~
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

                  - Groucho
~
Reality is what you can get away with.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
I much prefer the rules governing criminal cases in civilized countries
to the rules in the United States.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
The argument between Left and Right now consists only of debating which
are the correct groups to hate.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
The Constitution admittedly has a few defects and blemishes, but it still
seems a hell of a lot better than the system we have now.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
The courts apply all criminal laws in this nation in a mild, rational
and humane manner, if the defendant is rich.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
You know how dumb the average guy is? Well, mathematically, by definition,
half of them are even dumber than that.

                  - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
~
Racism designates the ignorant, bigoted, politically incorrect dogma that
O.J. must be guilty because he is black.

Feminism designates the enlightened, educated, politically correct dogma
that O.J. must be guilty because he is male.

Please note carefully the important difference between these dogmas.
Please ignore the overwhelming similarity between them, or you will
become ah-um unfashionable.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
Only idiots like Jesus (a potential rapist) and Buddha (another of that
ilk) ever proposed living without hate of any groups.....Oh, and
Korzybski, who described group hatreds as neurolinguistic hallucinations
symptomatic of what he called unsanity. But he was another potential
rapist.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
Cultural configurations have a spooky fascination. The atheistic
religions of the East (Buddhism, Taoism) have the relativistic tolerance
of their theistic rivals (Hinduism, Shinto.). The atheistic religions of
the West (Marxism, Objectivism,CSICOP) have the fanatic intolerance of
their theistic rivals (Christianity, Islam etc.) I guess our cultural
configuration (emic reality) determines us in more ways that we realize.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~
When you understand that we have no "war on drugs" but only a "war on
some drugs," consult the passages on double-think and duck-speak in
Orwell's "1984" for further enlightenment on neurolinguistic mindwarping.

                  - Robert Anton Wilson
~

                  She walks in beauty, like the night
                Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
                And all that's best of dark and bright
                Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
                Thus mellow'd to that tender light
                Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

                  - Byron
~
                When red-haired girls scamper like roses
                over the rain-green grass,
                and the sun drips honey.

                  - Laurie Lee
~
                  With just enough of learning to misquote.

                  - Byron
~
                  A thousand years scarce serve to form a state:
                            An hour may lay it in the dust.

                  - Byron
~
                  In solitude, where we are least alone.

                  - Byron
~
                  I stood
                            Among them, but not of them; in a shroud
                            Of thoughts which were not their thoughts.

                  - Byron
~
                  Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes,
                            Soft as her clime, and sunny as her skies.

                  - Byron
~
                  Christians have burnt each other, quite persuaded
                            That all the Apostles would have done as they did.

                  - Byron
~
                  All who joy would win
                            Must share it,--happiness was born a twin.

                  - Byron
~
                  But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
                            Falling like dew upon a thought, produces
                            That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.
                  - Byron
~
                  The drying up a single tear has more
                            Of honest fame than shedding seas of gore.

                  - Byron
~
                  'T is strange the mind, that very fiery particle,
                            Should let itself be snuff'd out by an article.

                  - Byron
~
                  Society is now one polish'd horde,
                            Formed of two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored.

                  - Byron
~
                  'T is strange, but true; for truth is always strange,--
                            Stranger than fiction.

                  - Byron
~
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because
there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not
every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite
number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is
as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all
the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows
that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any
persons you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a
deranged imagination.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Some creatures that live in the lower intestines of rats would disagree,
but then creatures that live in the lower intestines of rats are highly
disagreeable anyway, so their opinions can and SHOULD be discluded.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes
something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that,
in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
Since this Galaxy began, vast civilizations have arisen and fallen,
risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite
tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be:

            (a) something akin to seasick - space-sick, time sick, history
                    sick or some such thing, and
            (b) stupid.

                  - Douglas Adams
~
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the
breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which
runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

                  - Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890
~
The hair was a Vaseline cathedral, the mouth a touchingly uncertain
sneer of allure.

                  - Brad Darrach, on Elvis Presley, Life, Winter, 1977
~
I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a
thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter,
flowers in front of my window and a few pretty trees by my door. And
should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the
pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those
trees.

                  - Heinrich Heine
~
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a
living thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to
the circumstances and the time in which it is used.

                  - Oliver Wendell Holmes, opinion, Towne v. Eisner,
                                                    Jan 7, 1918
~
Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go
away.

                  - Carl Sandburg
~
To see the sun sink down, drowned in his pink and purple and golden
floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that make all the
sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams,
is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk
with ecstasy.

                  - Mark Twain
~
Any political party that can't cough up anything better than a trecherous
brain-damaged old vulture like Hubert Humphrey deserves every beating it
gets. They don't hardly make 'em like Hubert any more - but just to be on
the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.

                  - Hunter S. Thompson
~
What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp,
could have a future in politics?
    - Ronald Reagan (about Clint Eastwood running for mayor of Carmel)
~
Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.

                  - Matt Groening, 1993
~
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking, "Do you
want fries with that?"

                  - John Cleese
~
There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the
other is to read Pope.

                  - Wilde
~
America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all
the scum floats to the top.

                  - Charlie King
~
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to
a political career.

                  - George Bernard Shaw
~
What is art? Prostitution.

                  - Charles Baudelaire
~
He had delusions of adequacy.

                  - Walter Kerr
~
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

                  - Winston Churchill
~
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

                  - Wilde
~
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

                  - Wilde
~
~

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