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Do we drive around town in Hummers, getting 8 miles per gallon...
Your rhetorical question contains a lie. The Hummer H2 (the $50k one, based off a Chevrolet Suburban) gets 11mpg city, 14mpg highway. The H1 (the $100k one, engineered specifically for military duty), gets 14mpg city, and 17mpg highway (due to it having a diesel engine).
The only way you're going to see 8mpg in a Hummer is by towing or taking it off road. which you have in no way suggested. If you don't like vehicles that average 14mpg, well, then say so. But making up statistics reduces the credibility of your statement.
And no, I don't own one.