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Amtrak Photo Contestant Arrested By Amtrak Police

heliocentric Re:good! (675 comments)

I'm no photographer and have never heard of a LensBaby before looking at this guy's photos, and even I could tell you the AC above me is dead on!

I am a photographer and I own a LensBaby. Those things are so over used today that it disgusts me. Yes, there is often a time and place for them to be used in really neat and artistic ways, and then there's this guy and his stuff that makes me want to junk the whole thing. Ick!

A LensBaby is like a fancy filter in photoshop - it can do some neat stuff, and when used creatively you'd never guess how the effect was created, but over used, or in the hands of someone who doesn't know how to use it, and you get junk after junk with obvious "tricks" done to them.

more than 5 years ago


heliocentric hasn't submitted any stories.



Transformes Party - More than meets the eye.

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 6 years ago

So, later this year I'm having a birthday due to a new age that ends in a zero. This seems to be a popular time for sorrow and wallowing, but I see it as a chance to have fun for a change. Having recently been through my own wedding and being a part-time wedding photographer, I'm tired of attending other people's parties.

So, this year I have asked for a Transformers party. Now, everyone to be invited will be of an adult age, but we're all still kids at heart.

The reason I am posting this is for quirky party suggestions.

Like, pin the $item on the $creature. Instead of pin the tail on the donkey, should we pin the AllSpark on the Optimus Prime? If were inviting less guys and more girls, it might be fun to play "put some clothes onto that girl from the movie" game. Pfft, like girls would willingly come to a Transformers party in the first place.

What about Transformers-themed adult beverages? Can you think of some good drinks (please include at least a basic outline of the ingredients) with a great Transformers name? Like, I'm thinking something with lemonade and calling it a Bumblebee. Should we mix the Everclear into something and make it a Megatron?


I'm asking for all of the Transformers party things like plates and napkins and of course the cake, but can you think of any other items that will be needed to make the party a success?

I'm aware links such as these already:




And this set available at target, seems like a perfect place for us to start from, but none of these really tell you how to have a party other than to just buy some stuff and let the party happen. Thus, I'm seeking out the nerdiest bunch I know: slashdot.

Suggestions don't have to be limited to the recent theatrical live-action Transformers, the first generation is great, too.

You've got the touch! Now, make the suggestions.


PS3 vs Wii

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  about 8 years ago

Here's a (no nudity, but not everyone is wearing a parka if you know what I mean) clip explaining how the two differ and how that may align with your interests.

Personally, I wish there was a video game console that could be summed up with this pic but what do I know.

(PS if anyone knows that model's name, and/or if she is for sure the model appearing in the Sigma SD14 DSLR print ads [the ones in the photo magazines] let me know).


Gummy Fast Food

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

First off, my cat thinks he is Einstein. Or maybe Willie Nelson, I'm not sure.

Now, to share some other photos. We were out today to pickup this big poster that I had custom framed and we spotted this bag of really odd gummy candies in the Halloween Candy section at the local Target.

You have to check them out, they are all gummy candies made up of multiple colored gummies in intricate shapes and nifty colors so that in combination they make fast food items.

It's sort of like that PlayDoh set or other "fool food" things I used to play with many years ago - only these really are edible... barely.


schadenfreude hypocrite

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

I work with a bunch of interesting people who are by in large of a similar mindset and share similar views. They also lead mostly sheltered lives. I am disjoint from this type of thinking and living, but whatever, as long as the work gets done.

Well, they delight in having an educational "word of the day" on their white board. Sometimes a real word, sometimes a silly word, sometimes a word that they made up to fit a certain circumstance.

One day they couldn't think of a word to use, so I put "schadenfreude" up on the board, but no one knew what it was. To me, that makes it a perfect word of the day.

Well, I couldn't be more wrong, since the word means taking delight at the pain of another; this did not sit well with this group. All found it deplorable and it was quickly erased.

Well, the other day they were all giggling about this one story. It seems the one person remembered this story that was apparently told by a previous co-worker who spouse was either an ER doctor or an ER nurse. The group seemed to be sharing the story with others in an attempt to find who originally told the story, and also to share the hilarity with others.

The story involved someone with a cue ball (or some other billiards ball perhaps) up their rectum, and at least one other person with a bar of soap in their vaginal cavity. One person suggested that this was a good reason for soap-on-a-rope.

No one was sure who told the story originally, but everyone seemed to agree that it was HILARIOUS.

Because of this, my second ever suggestion for the word of the day was "hypocrite." This concept fell mostly on deaf ears, but it seemed to get a few people to look at themselves and the situation and blush.

But, that word only describes them. I think we need a new word to describe taking delight in the misery of someone realizing they are a hypocrite due to their own schadenfreude.




[warning: adult content] an odd question about sex

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Okay, hopefully there's a sex-ed teacher out there, I have a bizarre sex question.

Hypothetically speaking you're a guy and you are naked and have an erection. You are with goatse-guy and he is "spread." You two play a game sort of like the classic Operation. You insert your device but do not touch the walls or the end. You remove your device.

Now, did you just have sex with goatse-guy?

You had your wang inside of him, you could probably even feel some heat radiate off of his body, but there was no touching.

Now, what about if you did the same trick with one of those girls that can put champagne bottles into her parts? You know, the ones that do traffic cones for exhibition. Did you have sex with her? You had your schlong well inside of her, and it wasn't even her mouth so Clinton debates cannot enter here.

Sorry about this one, I was just pondering the old game Operation and one thing lead to another... Hey, you know, I wonder what would light up on goatse-guy if you did touch one of the sides!


Why I lick people.

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Some of you are familiar with all of the photos of me going around licking people. One was even famously in that fark photoshop contest.

Well, I think I've finally figured out why.

The voices in my head are dyslexic.

It has taken me some time to figure that out as they were so annoying with that stutter and the slight lisp, but I'm sure of it now.


Bye: Joanna Gleason in DRS on Broadway

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Today is Joanna Gleason's last day in her currently Broadway hit Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

I know I haven't been pestering you guys much about her since I'm sure most of you don't have a clue about who she is, or care, but it's kind of big news today and I made (with the help of a good friend) a really neat photo collage to say, "Bye!"

Check it out: http://www.joannagleason.com/


If I was a professional singer...

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

For those of you who recall our trip down music lane with Oh Holy Night, you'll LOVE this artist.

Go here and play any of the tracks from the BASIC Album of the Week.

Interested readers will find additional info about the artist and the LP at this nice site.

Side note: this link is also from the same friend Rich who found us Oh Holy Night.


Rail Burns

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 8 years ago

Sometimes when a train is very heavy (or the breaks are stuck) it won't move.

Most times the amp meter and the spedeometer indicate this to the engineer, and most engineers then stop the locomotive to figure things out.

But not always.

If the wheels spin and spin and spin, but the train goes nowhere, then the friction that builds up from this metal rubbing on metal can melt the rails themselves.

Check out these examples of rail burns.


just got back, quick update

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

I just got back from Bermuda.

Yes, I met up with our friend who lives there.

Yes, things were great.

Yes, I'll post more about all that soon, and with pictures and stories, and funny things.

But, before I get to all that - I had to get this out there. I shot this on our cruise ship.

The title says it all: http://www.zimwiz.com/sexiestmanever.mpg


More about my cock than you cared to know...

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

Click the link - if you dare!

Disclaimer - my cock is owned by me, not SiliconJesus.

j/k, you can borrow it.


Rejected Story: Dell ad against Sun uses Sun servers

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

heliocentric writes, "The Register has a story about the Dell Tech Force web promotion that has been in action for some time. Dell hired Maverick Productions to create a pair of cartoons that mock "the leviathans of Big Iron." The playful animations are knock offs of the "Team America" film and are aimed right at Unix server sellers Sun Microsystems, IBM and HP. However, the Dell Tech Force fight against Big Iron runs on Solaris servers from Sun."


Picture Updates

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

First, we solved the booze problem with a very nice wood liquior cabinet. All I need is to get some glass cut for the top to keep the bar-tending nice and tidy and we're all set. Photos.

I just got back from the mysterious land that is Canada. I was up there teaching a course about Sun's hardware to a bunch of former MS-centric support people. Well, I hope former, several seem to be easily convertable when topics like OBP, ALOM, RSC, and RISC showed them the power that is Sun. Photos of the trip.

There's also been some new, funny kitty kitty photos added. Link - text, punctuation.

Also, while in Canada, and drunk off of Alexander Keith's beer, I got this Sun-centric (aka heliocentric) tattoo. Photos of tat.

And, last but certainly least, I have a section of the gallery for "hot chicks" where you are free to vote. Some are there as more of "base line" to ensure you're not seeing all 100% hot meat all the time. Photos of hotties.


Where do you keep your booze?

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

As a relatively new alcoholic I've been enjoying many of the fruits from the booze tree. The libations have been enjoyed frequently and we're always seeking out new things.

To grow our collection we follow some simple rules for replacement. When a bottle goes empty, at least one of the following conditions must be met when purchasing a replacement:

1) A larger bottle of the same alcohol is to be purchased. (This is called the Super Size rule)
2) A better brand or version of the same alcohol is to be purchased. (This is called the Upgrade rule)
3) A new kind of alcoholic substance is to be purchased in addition to the replacement. (This is called the Expansion rule)

By following these rules you'll be well on your way to drunkenness is no time. After a few months to a year, you'll have a collection that would make any frat envious, but where should you keep it?

The perfect solution now would be to have an actual bar. Entertaining would be easy, storage a snap, and hey - it's just darn cool. But this would require lots of capital (impacting the booze budget) and space at the sacrifice of part of my trains or computers setup. Trust me, you can't get me drunk enough to want to sacrifice either of those.

Our current solution is to store the alcohol under the kitchen sink. That's right, it's down there with the cleaning products. Palmolive-tini, anyone? Comet shooter? How about some Formula 409 on the rocks? Fantastik boilermaker? No? Well, now you see the problem. (But you really should try the Buttery-AJAX -Nipples mmm-mmmmm).

Thus, what I'd like to find would be a nice "liquor cabinet." Something that would look nice in the living room, provide storage for the bottles in use (backup storage can still be kept elsewhere), and allow easy access for the user(s). Look out Martha Stewart, easy entertaining would be just around the corner!

My vision is for an approximately 4-foot tall bookcase-sized device with two doors. The doors would be wood frame with glass and wooden cross-lattice stuff to make it pretty. This would allow a guest to see into the goodies and invite enjoyment, but keep the dust off of things and provide organization. As we have no children (and generally despise them) a lock is not needed, but I can live with one being there. An inner shelf would be nice for maximizing the storage, and I'd prefer wood here for strength.

We already have a nice wine rack that holds all of our bottles of wine, wine glasses, and even the martini glasses, too. Thus, storage of these things is not needed, but martini shaker, shot glasses, and an ice bucket on top of the liquor cabient would be great. We already have these items; they just live in kitchen cabinets.

The sad thing is that in this day of political correctness, AA, and rising gas prices such a creature doesn't seem to exist. Check out this article over on modern drunkard. What a shame! It seems a good liquor cabinet just doesn't belong in today's "modern" society.

What's a boozehound to do? Any of you know where I can find something like what I'm looking for? Please, save us from the Brillo bongs!


firefox downloading problem

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

I checked the FAQ, I searched a bit on google, and I posted to the mozilla/firefox forum, but I still haven't found anything. Thus, I turn to the JE community.

Downloading, use of shortcuts (windows)

This seems to be a problem with the newer mozilla/firefox releases, but I'm not sure when it crept in.

I have a shortcut on my desktop to a repository for some images. When I'm in Mozilla/Firefox, if I click to save a file or an image and I navigate to my desktop and I pick the shortcut I am asked if I want to overwrite this shortcut with the file - it does not follow the link to the destination folder/directory.

I tried this process in IE, and it follows the shortcuts just fine. I'm not sure where I can enable or disable such a "feature" in mozilla.



First trip to see DRS (and Joanna)

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

Following is my tale about my trip with luvsbway to NYC the other day (April 16, 2005) to try and see DRS with Joanna Gleason.

So, we get to NYC and luckily the bus drops us off on the same block as the Imperial Theater. Couldn't have been any closer. We went up and waited for the lottery that was to start in just a few minutes. I called AntiFreeze who lives in the area to see if he could join us to add his name to the lotto, thus increasing our chances of winning.

Sadly, he didn't make it in time to put his name in. Also, sadly, several obviously local New Yorkers were just walking down the street, going someplace else, and in just a few minutes prior to pulling names asked what was going on, so they decided to toss their names in. Most didn't seem to know what the show was about, or who was in it.

At this point in the story I'm sure you can guess who won and who didn't. Yup, all of the locals got in, and luvsbway and I didn't win. It looked like almost every other out-of-towner did win, however, so good for them.

So, what to do now? We have tickets for the show in two weeks, but we didn't just come all this way for nothing. So, we headed off for the TKTS booth and met AntiFreeze there. We got 50% off tickets for the rear mezzanine. Hey, it wasn't the best seat in the house, but at least we could get to see the show knowing the full cast was there that day. And for roughly $20 a seat, it's hard to argue with that... here at home it's hard to find tickets for that price to a local production.

Then AntiFreeze took us down to Hell's Kitchen for some Turkish lunch that was quite tasty and we chatted away the time we had until the show started. As we got to the theater and said bye to AntiFreeze we just entered through the set of doors there and in front of me was this scruffy looking guy with a teenagerish kid, and the guy looked just like Chris Sarandon (Joanna's husband, you may know of him as Prince Humperdink from The Princess Bride). So I say to luvsbway, "Look who is in front of me," in that quiet yet excited tone.

"Nah, it's not him."

I then overheard their conversation about how this guy saw it a few times out in CA, and was there for opening night, and that this would be his third time since it opened that he's seen it. Who else would be that obsessed... well, it seems luvsbway didn't hear any of the conversation, and didn't believe me until this guy had to have his bag checked by security and she saw the name "Sarandon" embroidered on it.

Thus, we didn't say anything to him as I had this doubter with me who wasn't helping, and I was honestly star struck. Not like that I couldn't talk to a "star;" it was that the subject matter would have been difficult. "Hi, I'm a big fan of your wife," is too corny. And, "Hi, I'm a big fan of yours and Joanna's," still wouldn't have gone anywhere.

I figure that since I mailed a letter to Joanna the other day with a playbill to autograph (and return SASE) and in the letter I mentioned that I would be there in two weeks. I figure if she wants to have any contact that is her decision to make, and she has a simple means to do it. I don't want to be pushy in the matter, and talking to Chris would have been pushy. I keep hearing that while Joanna is very kind and open to her friends she is also rather shy. My dream is to end up like the admin for Greg's site (Joanna's co-star in DRS), but only time will tell.

[Update: Joanna sent the playbill back, with a personal greeting on it.]

So, on with the show. Joanna was as captivating as everyone keeps saying. I was hoping I hadn't just been reading a lot of fan-driven hoopla, but she really is, honestly, outsider third-person feelings here, talented and an amazing performer.

The show itself is very funny, the entire cast is excellent, and the crowds just went wild for all of the jokes, satire, and pratfalls. The songs are wonderful, and I can't wait to buy the cast album. I think we're going to have to buy two as I need an original for the "Joanna Collection" and luvsbway insists on having a real copy for her "Every-Broadway-show-I've-seen-in-person Collection." Hey, her name is "luvs broadway" for a reason I guess.

After the show we hit the Edison for a bite to eat before our bus picked us up. In there we saw Paul McCrane (of Fame, RoboCop, and ER). This time luvsbway believed me when I told her someone was somebody, but she had worked next to the set of ER years ago and had seen Paul many times prior, so it wasn't like I needed his name embroidered on something as proof.

In all it was a good day and I'm really looking forward to our orchestra tickets this Saturday.


Want to lick my bush?

heliocentric heliocentric writes  |  more than 9 years ago

So, I bought a mannequin.

Yes, a mannequin.

It's for my dress.

Yes, I have a dress.


I don't wear it. In fact I don't think it could ever fit me. It's an actual movie prop from Boogie Nights. It's Joanna's dress.

Well, we had some fun with the cat and the mannequin the day I got it.

Enjoy these pix!

FYI - it was his favorite toy, I just put it in an interesting location. Pix may or may not be safe for work depending on how you look at it.

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