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The JavaScript Juggernaut Rolls On

iMac Were Re:Peak "platform" (505 comments)

Mine is a cock-browning platform.

about 7 months ago

Ask Slashdot: Why Won't Companies Upgrade Old Software?

iMac Were It's just too much (614 comments)

You upgrade the software, and it doesn't match the carpets. So you get new carpets. And then they don't match the drapes... It's madness without end.

about a year ago

Why Self-Driving Cars Are Still a Long Way Down the Road

iMac Were I see what you did there (352 comments)

Long way down the road

I see what you did there, sweetie.

about a year ago

Some States Dropping GED Tests Due To Price Spikes

iMac Were Re:"no longer be offered in a pencil & paper f (224 comments)

I dropped out of high school in 1983. I was being heavily harassed for being openly gay. I could take it no longer.

Ooooh. Couldn't take it, madam, I mean sir? Ooooh. Was it longer, sir? How about the width? Once you've had black there's no going back. So they say, sir. Ooooh!

Then I worked my ass off

Did you, sir? Ooh. Literally, sir? Was it sore, sir? Oooh. Suits you!

about a year ago

Honoring Alan Turing, "Father of Computer Science"

iMac Were Re:Don't think so (230 comments)

ITYM ad homonem.

more than 2 years ago

BART Keeps Cell Service Despite Protests

iMac Were Re:Shut it all off! (196 comments)

What's wrong with using the for free 911 service on any of the pay phones on every BART platform?

Have you seen them, sweetie? I mean, if the design was a little more clumbsy, they might have a certain, you know, ironic retro chic. But if someone saw me using on of those I'd literally die of embarrassment. Like wearing brown shoes with a black belt.

Plus, you simply don't know who might have touched them. Homeless people, linux users. Euwww, yucky yucky!

about 3 years ago

Why haven't you bought a tablet?

iMac Were Re:No use for it (459 comments)

There are some jobs where size matters or a proper input matters

I'll second that, sweetie plumkin.

more than 3 years ago

University Offers Class In Zombie Studies

iMac Were Re:Advertising (118 comments)

It'd be my pleasure.

Now bend down and open wide!

about 4 years ago

Sorting Algorithm Breaks Giga-Sort Barrier, With GPUs

iMac Were Re:Not a barrier (187 comments)

Is that base 10 giga or base 2?

about 4 years ago

TI vs. Calculator Hobbyists, Again

iMac Were Re:How long since you were in school? (417 comments)

Since when do standardized tests test anything besides test taking ability?

Since you scored shit on one, probably.

more than 4 years ago

Consumer Reports Can't Recommend iPhone 4

iMac Were Re:Apple (507 comments)

Even on Slashdot, the fanboys seem to have some back-channel

Don't use phrases like that, you'll get me all excited!

more than 4 years ago

Airship Inflated To Create Monster "Stratellite"

iMac Were Re:Balloon? (204 comments)

"rent" and "condom" should never be used in the same sentence

Sure they should.

"If you're going with rent boys, it's best to use a condom."

more than 4 years ago

A Peace Plan To End the Flash-On-iPhone Fight

iMac Were Re:Apple Plan (495 comments)

Read carefully: the iPad/iPhone is NOT A GENERAL PURPOSE COMPUTER.

OK Mr clever panty-wanties, what is it then? A fashion accessory? A subcultural identity icon?

Ooooh, wait...

more than 4 years ago

A Peace Plan To End the Flash-On-iPhone Fight

iMac Were Re:Apple Plan (495 comments)

The iPad is a multipurpose device, not designed for anything apart from looking utterly scruptious

Talking of things that look good, can I fix anything else for you, big boy? Hmmmmmm?

more than 4 years ago

Punishing Security Breaches

iMac Were Re:Heard of it? (151 comments)

No I have not! What is this "Apple" you speak of?

It's a fruit.

Close - it's used by fruits

more than 4 years ago

Google Acquires Chip Maker Startup Agnilux

iMac Were Analux (150 comments)

Anyone else read that as analux?

more than 4 years ago

Simple CMS For Mixed Mac/Windows Team?

iMac Were Mixed Mac/Windows Team? (119 comments)

Mixed? Some are gay and some are straight? Where do I sign up, I love a challenge!

more than 4 years ago

iPad Launches, FCC Teardown Leaked

iMac Were Ho, cuties! (617 comments)

So, those of you who have picked up or received an iPad already: how do you like it?

Up the ass.

more than 4 years ago

Doctors Skirt FDA To Heal Patients With Stem Cells

iMac Were Hmmmm (394 comments)

I like a nice stem...

more than 4 years ago


iMac Were hasn't submitted any stories.



iMac Were iMac Were writes  |  more than 4 years ago

That's easy for you to say, but if I don't do everything the latte-lappers won't think I'm cool anymore. That would literally be like a fate almost far worse than being seen shopping for clothes at Walmart! I mean, just imagine! Can you?

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