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If You're Connected, Apple Collects Your Data

jafiwam Re: Yay :D (312 comments)

If you don't trust an OS vendor, isn't using a network monitoring tool on a different host entirely, with physical access to the wire, pretty much the only way to go? If they were so motivated, the OS would basically be a rootkit with device drivers and a userspace API...

Put the host to be inspected on a secured wireless network, then use another host on the same network to sniff wireless packets. That works too.

5 days ago

Federal Government Removes 7 Americans From No-Fly List

jafiwam Re:What happens with no ID? (124 comments)

Voter fraud is a worse problem.

It is? Give examples. In-person voter fraud is almost non-existent. Ballot box stuffing, payola and other forms of voter fraud are not affected by requiring ID.

It's "non-existent" because democrats try very hard to keep people for even looking for it.

You won't find your fat-fold encased penis if no woman ever looks for it either. That doesn't mean your fat-fold encased penis isn't there.

about two weeks ago

FBI Says It Will Hire No One Who Lies About Illegal Downloading

jafiwam Re:Ok, but (580 comments)

Just means the FBI will only be hiring people who are good at lying about wrongdoing. Which is probably really more useful and what they want in the long run.

But it's not what they want. You know what the word is for "guy who can blithely lie his way through a polygraph?" It's "spy."

Polygraphs are pseudoscientific bullshit, but the only people they weed out are the honest ones. I know you're worried about abusive/sociopathic cops, and that's one problem. But if I if I can switch to Fedspeak, for a moment - the risk isn't that the FBI's recruitment policies select for sociopaths, it's that they select for double agents. Moronic ideologue non-threats like AQ/IS and domestic terrorists like the Sovereign Citizen derpers might not make it past this screening, but they're practically begging FSB and PLA to infiltrate them. It's assinine, it's self-destructive, and it doesn't even serve the larger gains of the FBI, just of the bureaucrats who have a vested interest in the revolving door between the IC and polygraph-reliant clearance-processing industry.

Likewise, they are insuring their agents are clueless socially broken idiots who are also sanctimonious twatwaffles about it.

Which makes them neither effective nor able to get the best and brightest. From what I have observed about the next generation of folks entering college about now, they will nave ZERO chance of hiring anybody in that age group. It'll be easy to identify the FBI undercover guy, he'll be the one with the walker and the gray hair.

about two weeks ago

Europol Predicts First Online Murder By End of This Year

jafiwam Re:Self fulfilling prophecy (155 comments)

This is talking about the premeditated killing of a civilian by another civilian ("murder") occurring as a cause of specific data transmissions on the public TCP/IP-based internet ("online").

If you're going to count radio-control systems and military systems then you can go back a LOT further than armed drones, but that's not what this story is about.

Does "Swatting" count?

If so, then yeah I believe it could or has happened already. Skype is being used to call local police forces on the other side of the planet to send the cops to peoples' houses over trivial shit like rivalries in video games.

Given the nature of many police forces, it won't be long before (or has already occurred) someone gets shot by police over it, or police shot by home owners (if in some states. Not you Texas, your gun laws suck.)

about two weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:How about... (482 comments)

The problem is that hiding your picture results in far fewer messages, by a factor of eight.

I don't doubt it. There is no point in messaging someone without a picture. You could be talking to a land whale for all you know. There are some seriously fat, ugly women out there, and a high percentage turn to online dating as men find their appearance so revolting in real life. Attractive women are getting laid the old fashioned way. There's no need to get computers involved.

You also gotta watch out for "myspace angles" type photos. Be vary wary of a woman without arms, hands, or body in the photos. Chances are she outweighs you if you don't see that stuff.

I know a woman who works in IT across the street, while cute, she's about 150 pounds overweight. I ran across her on OkCupid (blocked her right away) but her photos make her look MUCH better than she actually is, even though there are lots of them. Somehow, she either used old photos, or manipulated the photo (pre or post snap) to remove her gigantic gut.

I expect the women with NO photos available are either cheating, or way worse than that. I skip right over them, and my first response to being messaged by one would be "put a picture up in your profile or fuck off".

Like it or not, physical beauty is tremendously important to most men. If you don't have it, or won't show it, you are going to be last in line out of the gate.

about three weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:Why not... (482 comments)

getting stared down with that "how dare YOU talk to ME" look

I can only imagine how beta you are...

While callous, the above comment has a point.

This new "dating site" system is going to make the whole set of men the women browse considerably more "beta" as a whole.

BTW, guys who gotta call other guys "beta" are likewise beta themselves. If you are alpha, you know it, and everybody else knows it and it doesn't have to be said.

about three weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:Women in the drivers seat`? (482 comments)

Note that "behaving like a jerk", which is the problem here, is orthogonal to "making the first move".

"Behaving like a jerk" and "OMG he's so cute" can be valid responses to the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOR. The match up between whatever trips her trigger and what he's doing make it "good" or what she doesn't like about him (her friend told her he's unemployed) plus the same behavior makes him "creepy."

This reality stems from biology, women as the investors and men as the spreaders of DNA.

about three weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:How about... (482 comments)

I don't think it is fair of the creators to compare it to Tinder though - there are a range of online dating sites designed to cater to different expectations - eHarmony and Match are geared to long term relationships for instance, while Tinder and Zoosk are much more geared toward casual dating/hookups.

Which is funny, because even the younger crowd of females on Tinder typically say something about "soulmates" or "not DTF" or whatever rejection of casual hookups they care to add. Then, many of them can be worked into casual hookups with proper application of game. (Which I don't have, btw, just noted this from watching others.)

about three weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:How about... (482 comments)

They should add a moderator ability to both men and women. Sort of like Slashdot. You get a few mod points to use to vote up or vote down the behavior of the person's interactions. Then you can set their messages to whatever threshold of moderation you want. "Only show me messages from people modded on average above 3.5"

about three weeks ago

Online Creeps Inspire a Dating App That Hides Women's Pictures

jafiwam Re:How about... (482 comments)

Women just message the men they like instead.

No kidding. Having a steady stream of people interested in you seems like being "In the drivers's seat" to me. What exactly is the problem?

Women just don't want to go through the work of filtering (or briefly looking at a profile in order to decide not to respond or block the sender) and this requires a whole new method?

How about women accept that dating is work, even if you are a woman?

about three weeks ago

Google's Doubleclick Ad Servers Exposed Millions of Computers To Malware

jafiwam Re: And they wonder why I block ads... (226 comments)

Just use adblock+. It is much faster.

Faster at what? Bankrupting the people who bring you free content? Hosting and time/effort to build and maintain websites is expensive. People should get paid to deliver websites just as you benefit non-monetarily by viewing a web page.

Entitlement mentality much? How much is left on your EBT card this month?

If they didn't want to go out of business, they would run their own ads and keep careful watch on what those ads do.

It's a pain in the ass to block stuff, but a bigger pain in the ass to get infected, or clean PCs of grandma and other relatives all the time. Nobody would bother blocking if ads weren't intrusive and dangerous.

about a month ago

Google's Doubleclick Ad Servers Exposed Millions of Computers To Malware

jafiwam Re:And they wonder why I block ads... (226 comments)


My hosts file (across my Windows, Linux, and OSX) machines have been using the excellent MSVP hosts ( for years.

Plus, it speeds up internet browsing instead of having the browser ping 10+ different domains.

Yup. Been using that for years. Very nice. Very little in the way of bullshit from Google or anywhere else.

about a month ago

U2 and Apple Collaborate On 'Non-Piratable, Interactive Format For Music'

jafiwam Re:Expert. (358 comments)

" Bono said the new tech "can't be pirated" "

Since when is Bono qualified to have an opinion on this subject? He should make songs and not talk about things he hasn't got a clue about.

Considering the new album, he's not really qualified to make songs either.

about a month ago

Schizophrenia Is Not a Single Disease

jafiwam Re:Then I guess you could say... (222 comments)

The trick is that doctors need to stop treating schizophrenics like we're sick. They need to start treating us like we're real people that just happen to have a different sense of reality. In a sense, I sort of agree with you, in another, totally not. Depression is also another way of viewing reality. Is someone who's depressed "wrong" about concentrating on the negative aspects of living? No... but I think most people who're depressed would rather NOT be depressed. Obviously telling someone who's depressed to just "cheer up", and "things aren't that bad" isn't going to help much. But like a disease, it's an aspect of yourself you'd rather not have and aren't in total control of, and want to be "cured" of. So the disease model isn't too far from the truth. I don't see how scizophrenia is much different.

You yourself don't really like your symptoms, wouldn't you rather they be gone? So I'm not sure I really understand your point.

I have met (and married) people who "didn't feel normal" when they weren't depressed and would have constant lapses in treatment drugs (even if they worked, which most didn't).

While they didn't enjoy being depressed, they enjoyed "not being themselves" less, or were so screwed up the cause-effect understanding was broken.

Depression while also a complicated and layered description containing many different states, is not similar in that people always want to not be it.

about a month ago

Court Rules the "Google" Trademark Isn't Generic

jafiwam Because when I say Google it... (159 comments)

I mean, specifically GO TO FUCKING GOOGLE.COM and use the search engine there. Not Bing, not whatever else, and especially not your "" tool bar that infected your computer. GOOGLE. Nobody uses it generically, they all mean specifically go to Google to search. It's you retards that don't know how to search that think we mean something else.

about a month ago

High School Student Builds Gun That Unlocks With Your Fingerprint

jafiwam Re: Reliability is key. (600 comments)

I'm all for options, but some states have laws that mandate this type of technology for civilian use as a cynical and unconstitutional way to increase the cost of gun ownership and reduce the selection of guns.

And this is good thing. The second amendment doesn't specify how much it costs to bear the arms. Only that you're allowed to. So yeah don't ban guns, just increase the cost of possessing them so that only those really really really into guns will go for it.

If we are going to do that, pay for your constitutional rights, how about about $1,000 per year to vote?

I like your ideas and want to subscribe to your newsletter.

about a month and a half ago

High School Student Builds Gun That Unlocks With Your Fingerprint

jafiwam Re:Reliability is key. (600 comments)

If it's extremely reliable, I think even gun advocates would adopt this. Here's hoping.

Every fingerprint identifying based lock that was "extremely reliable" has been so far, complete garbage. This one will be no different.

Your hope is misplaced. You might as well wish the moon turns into pizza and comes to visit. What you should hope for, is a change in coddling of the criminals, dregs, druggies and useless human flesh that cause problems. You know, inner city Shitcago thug and gang culture and "aspiring rap artist" who was "turning his life around" (how about you never fuck up in the first place huh chump?) that manage to beat their girlfriends on camera and get shot by police (innocent of course!) after committing felony strong armed robbery while never once producing a musical note worth anything.

about a month and a half ago

China's Island Factory

jafiwam Re:Might want to tighten the bolts on those sabers (199 comments)

Built islands from outcropings,etc below the water line do not count towards extending range of the territorial limits.

Many of the South China Sea territories are in dispute or are considered to be in international waters. China refuses to acknowledge other nations claims to many of South China Sea territories.

Good point. By that standard, the same would be true of anchored ships and hydrocarbon drilling rigs.

about a month and a half ago

Hackers Behind Biggest-Ever Password Theft Begin Attacks

jafiwam Re:Notified and ignored? (107 comments)

Someone invariably says something to the effect of "Well, you'd have to be an idiot to have your window shrunk down to that size! It's their own fault for being stupid!"

<rant> I get plenty of that here too, but It's not the user who is being stupid, it's the moron who tries to cover his design flaws with such a remark. Web content should adjust itself to match the user's display and window, not the other way around.

I'm so fed up with all those websites that show their content as a 10 cm (or 4 inch if you prefer) vertical band in the middle of the window, that my browser window is set to accomodate not much more than that by default. Wider sites should reflow to fit that. If they don't, they're even more wrongheaded than those that insist on turning your screen estate into 80% empty space if you dare to run your browser full screen. </rant>

Don't be such a short-sighted idiot.

The tools to do that are only a year or two old. It takes time to cycle through old tech and use new tech into a web site. There are ALWAYS some new thing that newer browsers will do that you can't use because it's brand new, and requires a rebuild of the site. Like, every week there is something new. For many years, people were waiting for IE8 to die out with XP.

Rebuilding a site is expensive, especially if it's a commercial site and the company isn't big enough to have an expert on staff.

Again, don't be an idiot. Or, grow up.

.... stupid millenials....

about 2 months ago

What Do You Do When Your Mind-Numbing IT Job Should Be Automated?

jafiwam Re:Automate it (228 comments)

Learn how best to automate that task so you can start on other projects to automating other tasks.

Yup. But do it in secret and don't share the automation with the employer. Use your spare time to look for a new job.

IF you come to the point where know your job is going to evaporate, it's better not to make a lot of waves (and that includes positive ones) until you are ready to go anyway. Your employer is already NOT paying attention and may not have a full understanding of what you do already. You'll be facing "the Bob's" in no time.

There is a reason they call it "work." Boring and repetitive comes with that. Brush up on your Zen skills and deal with it. And FIND ANOTHER JOB.

about 3 months ago


jafiwam hasn't submitted any stories.



Million Monkeys

jafiwam jafiwam writes  |  more than 10 years ago My boss has a program called "Million Monkeys" that uses the Windows UI to pound through an arbitrarily long brute-force sequence in some program installation routines... basically a generalized brute force key generator that can be pointed at a "key" field and run for several days to get a valid key.

So there's often discussions about the classic Shakespeare question; if a million monkeys sat in front of a million typewriters would they eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare?

It's a fun question.

Here's some point's of view;

Yes. Well, if you assume the example of the keygen program fits for larger field sizes, then absolutely yes. True random, or sequential tries would eventually produce the desired results, as long as you have an arbitrarily long length of time to get there.

Also, interestingly enough there's a mathematical proof out there that says any specific string of arbitrarily long length exists in the numbers after the decimal points in Pi. These words, they are in there. deCSS code, it's in there. Britney's next song lyrics (before she has written it... if she writes her own songs...) is in there. So is Shakespeare. All of it. [I'll try to find a link.]

No. Shakespeare's words on typewriters are not random, monkeys (in real life) are likely to produce non-random keystrokes as well. These two non-random data sets do not intersect. Monkeys simply won't type "King Lear" (the phrase, not the play) because the word "Lear" requires a shift-L stroke, then the e, a, and r strokes in a certain order. Monkey keystrokes will be grouped in monkey-sized feet or fist groups. (Though the monkey's I've met probably would try to pry the keys up and chew on them.) So even though the randomness can be arbitrarily long, the data-set produced is always not the same data set as english words.

Push the "no" idea a little further, and the Internet can be used as a test bed to prove the point.

To begin, I start with a quote; "We used to think that a million monkeys in front of a million keyboards would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare, now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." - P. Lutus.

Internet users are going to produce by far strings of characters that are FAR less random than that of monkeys. Yet, without deliberately attempting to, they haven't produced the complete works of Shakespeare.

Ok. On to the point. This quote from tbannist This quote concerning the question of AOLers producing the works of Shakespeare is incredibly funny (even though it doesn't subscribe to my same point of view).

"No, the key here is monkeys are a random string generator. You can't replace a random string generator with a stupid string generator and expect to get the same result."


Manifesto de Vivando Merde

jafiwam jafiwam writes  |  more than 11 years ago

Recently there were some 'Parting Words.' That got me thinking. Here are some "Staying Words"

Manifesto de Vivando-Merde (or, shit to live by)

(1a) Want my respect? Earn it. You will get it no other way. You will not get it because you have kids, because you are black/white/male/female/christian/fag/short/fat or anything else. You will never get any respect if you use of those things as a crutch or as a tool to get attention. You have no right to my respect, it is a gift from me to you, a reward for not being a dumbass.

(1b) If you get respect, you will know because I listen to you, I will help you, and I might watch your back. You might even get invited to lunch. But remember, you can lose my respect in a heartbeat. Just like all things in life, earning it is harder than losing it.

(2) Want to get treated like you are worth something? Do something worthwhile. Finish something before it is due, do it better, do it well, or figure out how to do something more effectively. Above all, do not inconvenience me, that makes you worth less than nothing to me, more of an obstacle, to be dealt with accordingly.

(3) Want me to be friendly to you? Shut the fuck up. I will come to you when I want to talk to someone. If I am not talking, it is because I have nothing to say to you. If I am not listening, it is not because I didn't hear, it is because you are blathering about nothing important to me. I already know what is going on with you, because you told everybody else three times already. I can hear, I can hear a lot better than you think. I can hear you breathe in the dark. What makes you think I do not already have the information I want?

(4a) If I want you to take something personally, you'll know. Trust me, you will.

(4b) If you take something personally that I did not intend for you to take that way, you are not only stupid, but also arrogant. If I meant you, you would be painfully aware I meant you. There is no need for you to assume I mean you. If I do, you will know.

(5) If you act like, or say you know something... You'd better. If not, you will be made miserable and encouraged to go elsewhere. How far you are forced to go, depends on how big your mouth is.

(6) You will get my attention when I choose to give it to you. No sooner. You have no right to my attention, you will be punished if you try to force me to give you attention. If you force me to pay attention to you, you will not want the kind of attention you get.

(7a) Never start a sentence with 'Why didn't you...' if you do not want a sarcastic answer. I do what is on my list, I do what is important to get done. I do what I consider valuable or worthwhile. None of the former includes what you want. If it should get done, it should be explained to me, quickly, accurately, and without preconceptions how it should be done. Then I will do it when things of that priority get done in the way I see fit. I have no other system.

(7b) Things will get done in the order that I see them necessary to get done. Yes, I may do them to get you to shut the fuck up, however, be aware that you just forced me to pay attention to you, and that you will suffer as a result.

(8a) Yes I make mistakes. Sometimes they are big ones that cost time or money. I learn from them. Sometimes, I learn a lot from my mistakes. Sometimes I learn nothing from them. When I learn nothing, it is because I made the mistake of trying to work while you were yammering at me. So shut your mouth and go back to work and we will ALL learn more.

(8b) I do not expect you to not make mistakes or to be perfect. However I DO expect you to learn from your mistakes. Perfection is not attainable, however it should be your goal.

(8c) If you make the same mistake twice, you were not paying attention the first time. Make it three times, and you are plain stupid.

(9) Shit breaks. Get used to it. If you are lucky I may help you fix it. However, I cannot change the fact that shit breaks. So shit will break. Get used to it. If you don't like it, you were born in the wrong universe, to fix that, kill yourself.

(10) If you do not know who is doing it, nobody is. I come to meetings to listen to what you are doing, and to share what I am doing and so we can get some things done together. Pay attention, I assume you are. There are only a few people in the building, most of them talk too much. You have no excuse for not knowing what I am doing, and no grounds for complaining that you did not know. I know what you are doing already, and I do not have to leave my office to find out. You do not know because you do not listen.

(11) Weakness is not a virtue. Stop acting like it is. Weakness makes you worth less to me, and beyond getting any respect, ever.

(12) Do not let me detect a sense of entitlement. You will get what is coming to you anyway in one way or another, you do not need to tell me what you should get. What you think you will get and what you eventually get will never be the same.

(13) Do not ask me stuff that is on our web site, on our support site, or on any web site, or newsgroup indexed by Google. At best, you are wasting my time and making yourself look stupid and lazy. I learned much of what I do and know by figuring it out myself. You should too. But I do not expect you to duplicate my effort, so will share with you what you need to know. Once.

(14) I do not care if you think you do not have time to learn by yourself. I play dumb games on the internet, I watch 8 episodes of Friends and Sponge-Bob Square-Pants every week, I mess around with my computer, I have downloaded more porn than you thought existed, I read Slashdot several times a day, and I stare off into space a lot. I STILL have enough time to learn what I need on my own. You have no excuse not to learn what you need, aside from weakness, stupidity or being lazy. This is not my problem, it is yours. Do not expect me to act like it is anything other than your problem. If you do not solve your own problems, they will follow you to your grave.

(15) If you are shown, taught or given documentation on something but don't know it tomorrow; do not be surprised if I act like you are stupid. My cat has a brain the size of a walnut, yet she knows what "NO" means and changes her behavior based on the word. If you cannot translate words on paper or in a classroom into real life actions, die now please, you are a waste of biomass that could be used for roaches or something else more useful than you are.

(16) If you do not take care of your own data, nobody will. Don't stick files in stupid places then act all surprised when they are lost. Do not take risks with your data, I don't. Do not ignore what I say when I tell you how to deal with your data. Do not complain when shit breaks and your data is gone, I told you how to keep it safe and you fucked yourself anyway. How is that my problem?

(17) I do not send you pointless emails. Read all that I send you, I promise I will make them worth your while. Respond to them or delete them, or keep them, print them, pound them up your own ass, do whatever suits you. However, you will be responsible for the information contained in them.

(18) Feel free to make judgments about me, as I will make judgments about you regardless of your wishes. Deal with it. You will be judged to my standards as I judge myself. Deal with it. I will act on my judgments. Deal with it.

(19a) Your problems are yours. Do not agonize over them in front of me. The answers are obvious to me. You are not solving them because you are weak, pathetic, or stupid. Talk too much about them, I will give you the answer, in a way you will find unpleasant or rude.

(19b) I didn't come to work today to hear about your goddamn garden, your wallpaper, your bathroom, your new car, what you did last weekend, or what that stupid fuck you married did, or how big your boyfriend's cock is. I don't give a shit about your kids, and I don't want them here, especially if they are spoiled or unsupervised. I came here to do some tasks, sometimes I do them well. Ultimately, I do this work because I can get some things done and get paid for it. Do not think for one moment I would stop and give you the time of day if I did not work with you. If you are an exception to this rule, you will know. If you are unsure... then you are not an exception to this rule.

(20) If you need to spend time/do something with your kid or family. Fine. But do not expect me to do more work due to your choice to have children or finger-fuck Christmas presents with your family. I make my own choices, I deal with them. You make your own choices, deal with them. I will not deal with your choices for you.

(21) Do not, ever, ask me to do something you would not do yourself. I will do the same for you.

(22) Do not have contradictory opinions. I will notice them. I will exploit them to make you feel as worthless or stupid as you really are. Do not think that I do not have contradictory opinions. I have them. Exploit them if you can.

(23) Do not expect me to do more than you do, even though I often do more than you do the entire week in one day. Your expectations are your own, my interaction with them will only to be to cram them back down your throat.

(24a) Do not complain about being busy. I know what you are doing, what you did, and what you ate because you are NOT busy. If you were busy, I would not know these things. If you were truly busy, you would stay later. If you were truly busy, you would be at your desk all day, not out here talking about your child, your club, you church, your car troubles, or the play you went to last week.

(24b) The only response to a high workload from you I will respect is more work, more efficient work, faster work, and more accurate work. When you are out going to that play, going to your club, or flicking your own clit, I was at home doing stupid grunt work and making up for shit you didn't do during the day. Do not expect me to be happy about that. Ever.

(25) I know when you show up, I know when you leave, I know what is on your hard drive and what you download on the internet. I know this, because you do not clean up after yourself. Generally, I do not care about these things. However, I will use them against you should I so desire. Remember, every mistake you make is another tool for me to bludgeon you with when the time comes. For your own protection, do not attack my faults if you have any of your own. I retaliate.

(26) The computer in front of you is the most complicated device you will ever encounter in your entire life. Treat it that way. I can make it work, but you might not like how I get it working. So do not break it in the first place.

(27) Do not complain about scarcity and then waste yourself. Do not whine about how much you get paid then waste company money. Do not bitch about what you think you deserve, how much memory you need, or how your computer works. If you cared about these things, you wouldn't download stupid screen savers, you would take care of your computer, you would turn out the lights and your monitor at night, you would close your window when air conditioning is on, and above all, you would be working and making some money - not complaining. The company cannot give it to you if you don't make it for them in the first place. Learn that. It may keep you from getting laid off some day. It might have kept you from getting laid off last week. (ha ha!)

(28) Do not send me jokes. There is nothing on the internet that you can find that I have not already seen. The only good an email joke does for me is give me more ammo to get you booted from the company when the time comes. Remember, I can complain just as well as you can. If management acts on your irrational whining, they will act on mine as well. Do you really want me to have that kind of power?

These are "Staying Words". They may seem harsh. The world is harsh place. Earn my respect and I will watch your back. Lose it and you are cast to the random wasteland created by your own weakness and ineptitude. Deal with it.

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