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Linux + Sci-fi + Detroit = Penguicon3.0

mao che minh Is it just me? (198 comments)

I only recognized two or three of those names, and of those two or three, only one can actually contribute anything to a speech.

more than 9 years ago

Submissions

mao che minh hasn't submitted any stories.

Journals

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Sunday morning

mao che minh mao che minh writes  |  more than 10 years ago The sound of the landscapers working on the lawn awoke me. I could tell it was still very early, because my alarm hadn't even gone off yet. The thin beams of light peircing the blinds fell blue against the floor. I slowly forced my grogy-body into a sitting position, leaned back against the wall, and split the blinds apart to get a good look at the weather.

It was then that I saw her. Mexican, obviously, like the rest of the landscapers. Unlike her heavy drinking and rarely-bathing coworkers, she was young, clean, and hot. Her shiny black hair gracefully hung between her shoulder blades. As she spun around with the hedge trimmer her large, firm breasts bounced slightly at first and then more rapidly beneath her skin tight tank-top. Her worn, non-descript jeans were filled full of muscular, trim woman.

It was then that my girlfriend bust into the room to suprise me. She thought that the raging wood-rod was for her. Heh.

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A myriad of emotions

mao che minh mao che minh writes  |  more than 11 years ago I was wandering down Main Street yesterday morning, I believe that I was shopping for shoes, when I caught a glimpse of a very attractive "surfer chick". Light brown hair, athletic build, short form-hugging O'Neil swimming trunks.

I paused, stared at the slowly crawling clouds in the sky, and thought to myself: "Man, it would be fucking sweet to drag my sweaty ball sac across her pretty virgin face".

I then turned to my girlfriend and smiled.

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I got big old balls

mao che minh mao che minh writes  |  more than 11 years ago

I got big balls
Big ol' balls
Big as grapefruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs

Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was a young man
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring

And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods

I got a friend whose goal in life
Was to one day go down on Madonna
That's all he wanted
That was all
To one day go down on Madonna
And when my friend was thirty-four
He got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome one night in some hotel
And ever since he's been depressed
'Cause life is shit from here on in
And all our friends just shake their heads
And say too soon, too soon, too soon
He went down on Madonna too soon
Too young, too young, too soon, too soon

And it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring

And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods

If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you
It just means they're ignoring you
How can you know, how can you know?
Which is which, who's doing what?
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
And all you need to do that
Is one good pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine

But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on tractors
Big as the golden arches
Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods

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Onward trolls!!!

mao che minh mao che minh writes  |  more than 11 years ago TROGDOR!!!

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