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New Michigan Law Means Kids Can Opt Out of Spam

neal n bob It's saturday morning (183 comments)

And my bawls are a bit frosty - care to come thaw them out?

more than 9 years ago

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goodbye

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 11 years ago

The Last FP

I'm leaving now, this stank urine-filled toilet will see me no more. I have enjoyed my time mindlessly crapflooding and trolling here. I started reading the site years ago, back when it actually had some remotely interesting stories and comments on a daily basis. Now it is all inside jokes about Micro$haft ROFL!!!!!!11111 and lame knee-jerk liberal remarks about how the government/M$/Red Hat/Echelon are stealing our souls by taking secret pictures of us in the shower. Somewhere along the line whatever made the site interesting was lost - maybe it was just that it got too big.

A more likely reason is that Taco and co believed their own press. The introduction of karma and the increasing Gestapo tactics were like some poor man's version of Animal Farm. In trying to make their little world safe for the "legitimate" users, they turned this place into a police state. From modbombing to blacklisting, this place has become no different than any other totalitarian regime. And in those regimes, there will always be those who fight back, and I don't mean that fat cunt vlad quoting Chuck D.

I lurked on the site for years, reading some interesting stuff, occasionally entertained. But as my job got more boring and the site became more HOMOgenized, I got sick of it. Then one day neal n bob was born. In just over a year, despite the National Socialist Party's limitations put in place, I have posted over 1000 inane and thoughtless comments.

Now I am moving on to a more important job, and I won't have the time or motivation to amuse myself. I sure as hell won't waste my time at home on this festering sore on a syphilitic man-whores tool. So I'd like to give props to just a few of those who have made all the time I wasted here a little more entertaining, in no particular order:

The CLIT
Big Ass Spork
Handybundler
L33t j03
Ringbarer
The Turd Report
Trollaxor
Klerck
Goatse.cx
Govtcheez
Angry white guy

There are lots of other fine trolls and crapflooders but I shant waste the time listing them. If you have ever posted a scat story about RMS, Timmah, Taco, Michael or ESR, you belong on that list as well. If you've bravely shared the story of how you were anally assaulted at the Slash HQ, you belong on that list. And if you are Jon Katz, you absolutely belong on that list. Katz - you are far and away the most successful troll; possibly in web history. All trolls and crapflooders pay homage to your abilities. You're a lot like Roman Polanski, a gifted artist who happens to like young children. I assume you are in France right now with most of the rest of the world's gayest losers and several Afghani children.

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future of slashcensorship

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 11 years ago I saw an article called the future of java. Once you go to it, it says that it was created by Michael, and that only michael's friends can post there. The biggest problem with that is he has no friends - just people who use his cornhole as wang polishing unit. I am betting this is the newest censorship tool that mike has made.

It absolutely amazes me to see all the bs here about every possible so-called threat to free speech, no matter how remote, treated as the end of the known universe. Meanwhile, instead of making the piss poor slashcode work right, all they do is dream up new methods to control what gets posted. So post an article about how evil some city council is for not letting pedophiles look at kiddie porn for free at the public library, but we damn sure can't let someone post a comment saying FP or penis bird on slashdot.

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the death of neal n bob - a play in 1 act

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 10 years ago the nazis have killed me in the last. Thankfully I reached the magical 1000 posts. I have only been able to post once since last thursday. I assumed they somehow have instituted more permanent bans on trolldom without notice. Guess they are not quite as big on due process and free speech as they act. You may post suggestions for my demise here - most likely I will go find a Panchos mexican buffet and keep raising the flag until I suffocate on their horrible enchiladas

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I have an imposter

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 11 years ago I guess imitation..flattery...blah blah. I personally think it is Michael - he is too shy to ask me out directly so he is using this oh so clever route. here

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filthy bung guzzlers

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago they seem to have lowered the threshold for a ban - or some anallingering mod is modbombing me.

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penis bird

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago just seeing if I can even post a journal - if not, then I got the whole subnet banned again. My neighbor who is a slashbot won't be happy.

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steve jobs reveals how you can add 3-6" to your penis now!!

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago more typical gay crap today. Wow, I can pay even more for a computer with 1 extra inch of screen and the same slow ass processor. Sign me up! And I can pay an extra 120 dollars for the newest patch to the OS!

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these are the times that try men's trolls or some crap

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago wow - what a bunch of pussies. If a library blocks a molester from looking at kiddie porn, it is somehow censorship (please ignore that free speech does not mean the public has to pay for you to look at porn; Gnu/free as in buttsex open sores users don't believe that) But no problems putting a leash on people who say unpopular things here, are there?

Funny how the slashbots are suddenly unanimous in support of private property and the right of one group to shut another up based on what they say when it is 'their' site. Of course the sellout fags here are just bitches to the janitors; suck suck suck - more ads please.

I am totally convinced that this new system was put in place to keep me from getting to 1000 posts. What other explaination is there?

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1000 posts

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago I just realized that I have over 860 posts. That is sick. If it takes say 1 minute to find a gay slashbot post to crapflood, or wait for an fp, then fire off a post, that means I have wasted over 14 hours just on this. I feel very dirty inside. Nevertheless, I have set a goal of reaching 1000 posts by the end of July. Then, in the tradition started by the WIPO Troll, I will kill myself. Or just find a new username.

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inspired by the turd report and junis

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago Kandahar comes out of the closet

FROM JUNIS IN KANDAHAR

Our correspondent sees the gay capital of South Asia throw off strictures of the Microsoft

NOW that Microsoft's rule is over in Mullah Omar's former southern stronghold, it is not only televisions, kites and razors which have begun to emerge.

Visible again, too, are men like j0n katz with their ashna, or beloveds: young boys they have groomed for sex.

Kandahar's Linux-users have been notorious for their homosexuality for centuries, particularly their fondness for naive young boys. Before Microsoft arrived in 1994, the streets were filled with teenagers and their sugar daddies, flaunting their relationship.

It is called the homosexual capital of south Asia. Such is the Linux obsession with sodomy -- locals tell you that penis birds fly over the city using only one wing, the other covering their posterior -- that the rape of young boys by warlords was one of the key factors in Bill Gates mobilising Microsoft.

In the summer of 1994, a few months before Microsoft took control of the city, two commanders (cmdr taco?) confronted each other over a young boy whom they both wanted to sodomise.

In the ensuing fight civilians were killed. Gates group freed the boy and appeals began flooding in for Gates to help in other disputes.

By November, Gates and his Microsoft were Kandahar's new rulers. Despite the Microsoft disdain for women, and the bizarre penchant of many for eyeliner, Gates immediately suppressed homosexuality.

Men accused of sodomy faced the punishment of having a wall toppled on to them, usually resulting in death. In February 1998 three men sentenced to death for sodomy in Kandahar were taken to the base of a huge mud and brick wall, which was pushed over by RMS. Two of them died, but one managed to survive.

"In the days of the Open Source, there were men with their ashna everywhere, at every corner, in shops, on the streets, in hotels: it was completely open, a part of life," said Torjan, 38, one of the soldiers loyal to Kandahar's new governor, Gul Agha Sherzai.

"But in the later Open Source years, more and more soldiers would take boys by force, and keep them for as long as they wished. But when Microsoft came, they were very strict about the ban. Of course, it still happened -- Microsoft could not enter every house -- but one could not see it."

But for the first time since Microsoft fled, in the past three days, one can see the pairs returning: usually a heavily bearded man (RMS), seated next to, or walking with, a clean-shaven, fresh faced youth. There appears to be no shame or furtiveness about them, although when approached, they refuse to talk to a western journalist.

"They are just emerging again," Torjan said. "The fighters too now have the boys in their barracks. This was brought to the attention of Gul Agha, who ordered the boys to be expelled, but it continues. The boys live with the fighters very openly. In a short time, and certainly within a year, it will be like pre-Microsoft: they will be everywhere."

This Linux tradition is even reflected in Linux poetry, odes written to the beauty and complexion of an ashna, but it is usually a terrible fate for the boys concerned. It is practised at all levels of Linux society, but for the poorer men, having an ashna can raise his status.

"When a man sees a boy he likes -- the age they like is 15 or 16 -- they will approach him in the street and start talking to him, offering him tea," said Muhammad Shah, a shop owner. "Sometimes they go looking in the linux user groups, or in the cinema (which has yet to reopen).

"He then starts to give him presents, hashish, or a watch, a ring, or even a motorbike. One of the most valued presents is a fighting penguin, which can be worth up to $400 (£277). These boys are nearly always innocent, but such is the poverty here, they cannot refuse."

Once the boy falls into the man's clutches -- nearly always men with a wife and family -- he is marked for life, although the Kandaharis accept these relationships as part of their culture.

When driven around, ashna sit in the front passenger seat. The back seat is simply for his friends. Even the parents of the boys know in their hearts the nature of the relationship, but will tell people that their son is working for the man. They, like everyone else, will know this is a lie. "They say penis birds flew with both wings with Microsoft," Muhammad said. "But not any more."

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man i hate this site

neal n bob neal n bob writes  |  more than 12 years ago It is hard to believe this site used to be interesting; I even got occasional good information off of it. Now about the only thing to get off it is homosexual fashion tips (not that I use them)

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