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Snowden Queries Putin On Live TV Regarding Russian Internet Surveillance

pushing-robot Re:Patsy (389 comments)

All my whistleblowers are named Eric.

2 days ago
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Google: Teach Girls Coding, Get $2,500; Teach Boys, Get $0

pushing-robot Re:Sex discrimination. (673 comments)

Oh, don't I know it. The government pulls out all the stops to help these so-called "threatened" and "endangered" species when they couldn't give two craps about the problems of a regular stiff like me. It's fascism, I tell ya.

--A concerned pigeon

about two weeks ago
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How Cochlear Implants Are Being Blamed For Killing Deaf Culture

pushing-robot Re:Good? (509 comments)

Sorry if it sounded overly negative. I assure you that was entirely not our intent; in fact, we're just trying to make the world a great place for great people. Please forward any comments or complaints to my offices at the NSDAP/RPA. We appreciate your input!

about two weeks ago
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How Cochlear Implants Are Being Blamed For Killing Deaf Culture

pushing-robot Re:Good? (509 comments)

You forgot ginger culture. Damn gingers.

about two weeks ago
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A 2560x1440 VR Headset That's Mobile

pushing-robot Re:Done with Oculus (135 comments)

Except I'm waiting for these guys to get sued into oblivion for copying Facebook's amazing groundbreaking invention.

...no, not the hardware, the word 'Face'.

about two weeks ago
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European Court of Justice Strikes Down Data Retention Law

pushing-robot Re:Can't wait (77 comments)

The "workaround" is just doing it without telling anybody. You will never be able to prove a thing.

Because, of course, European telecoms are staffed entirely by intelligence agents of unquestionable loyalty.

about two weeks ago
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Seagate Releases 6TB Hard Drive Sans Helium

pushing-robot Re:Why not? (147 comments)

Because they're trying to maintain their quality.

(Seriously, though, they actually don't seal their hard drives. Hard drives typically have a small hole in the casing with a extremely fine dust- and moisture-proof filter attached. It allows the drive to equalize its pressure with the environment and reduces the mechanical strain on the housing and seals.)

about two weeks ago
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Should Microsoft Give Kids Programmable Versions of Office?

pushing-robot Re:i dont understand this (226 comments)

"dad...you seem really smart...why in the world did you decide to be a programmer and sit behind a computer 10 hours a day instead of doing something cool?"

Because we knew that someone, someday, would create this.

about two weeks ago
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NYU Group Says Its Scheme Makes Cracking Individual Passwords Impossible

pushing-robot Re:WTF? (277 comments)

That was a flaw with early experiments, but we've since worked it out. With our updated business model, we only provide you with one monkey and typewriter in this universe. At the same time, in each of infinite parallel universes, the parallel 'we' give the parallel 'you' a monkey and typewriter as well. Each typewriter is equipped with a lovingly crafted and painstakingly entangled transceiver to broadcast and monitor an infinity of random typing, listening and waiting for your answer to ephemerally cross its antenna.

Great news! It's statistically certain that one of the infinite monkeys has already typed the answer you seek. However, due to information propagation delays, it may take between zero and infinite time to reach your universe. Rest assured, though, it's on its way. While you wait, please enjoy your monkey. And typewriter.

Thank you for your business!

about two weeks ago
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Apple Patent Could Herald Interchangeable iPhone Camera Lenses

pushing-robot Re:Bayonets? (160 comments)

Yes, it seems more likely the iPhone 6 will finally support 10BASE2.

about three weeks ago
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Kim Dotcom Launches Political Party In New Zealand

pushing-robot Re:still (133 comments)

...it just means I got way too drunk last night.

about three weeks ago
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Drone-Assisted Hunting To Be Illegal In Alaska

pushing-robot Re:Whats the poing of hunting as a sport? (397 comments)

How is shooting something from hundreds of feet away with a high powered rifle any kind of sport?

That's because by the original rules the deer got the rifles every alternate week. Ever since we changed things around I've boycotted the sport.

about a month ago
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Drone-Assisted Hunting To Be Illegal In Alaska

pushing-robot Re:Redefine hunting. (397 comments)

In fact it is still 'hunting', even if you start using Reaper drones and Hellfire missiles. Your mistake is the romantic, disturbing, and false notion that 'hunting' is meant to be fair to both parties.

about a month ago
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They're Reading Your Mail: Microsoft's ToS, Windows 8 Leak, and Snooping

pushing-robot Re:I want to be shocked, but honestly I'm not (206 comments)

Not to defend Microsoft's actions, but this does seem like exceptionally poor judgement on the part of the leaker, on par with robbing a bank and having them put the money in your safe deposit box.

about a month ago
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Flies That Do Calculus With Their Wings

pushing-robot Re:Err, not always (107 comments)

TTL chess might be faster, since no game would last longer than 255 moves.

about a month ago

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