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Pedestrian Follows Google Map, Gets Run Over, Sues

saladpuncher Me too! (699 comments)

I'm suing Black Berry as well. It told me to take a right and I drove into a lake.

more than 3 years ago

Somali Pirates Open Up a "Stock Exchange"

saladpuncher Re:Imagine being a young Somalian, and choose (666 comments)

That’s an interesting thought. So the woman gets paid and then the next day is robbed and killed by a roving gang or a warlord’s hunt and terminate party. The other investors complain to the Somalian Stock Exchange that they don’t feel safe investing because their money can’t be guaranteed. Business suffers as a result until the Stock Exchange or some other business springs up and offers protection for that money. For only a few percentage points off the top they can keep you safe. And hey, now that you have all that money and you are safe you might want to spend it and get the good things in life. Right? So you start to make purchases and start to acquire things. New businesses have to come into being to supply you with the food and housing and coca cola that you lust for. Given a long enough time a middle class emerges that begins to demand not only protection but running water, electricity, communications, etc. It wouldn’t be the first time that a group of criminals have created a society.

more than 5 years ago

Gardeners Told to Give Exhausted Bees an Energy Drink

saladpuncher Re:Try BRAWNDO! (200 comments)

BRAWNDO!! It's got what BEES CRAVE! It's like DRIVING a MONSTER TRUCK into a field of pollen! BRAWNDO!!

more than 5 years ago

On Realism and Virtual Murder

saladpuncher I had to get my training from somewhere (473 comments)

I have killed more people than Hitler. It's true. I have murdered millions of Nazis and slaughtered as many dragons. I have raped Native Americans and killed hundreds of thousands of cops. I have killed aliens that looked like pigs dressed as cops. I have destroyed feminism by flashing cash at strippers. I have committed genocide. I have wiped the earth clean of barbarians, Romans, Egyptians, Germans, and the Mongols. I have brought sword to creatures great and small because they may be carrying gold. I have killed creatures and then thrown away anything they were carrying because I did not deem it worthy. I have lied, cheated and double crossed denizens of the wasteland, a fairy kingdom, an ancient alien race and time travelers. I have shot mutants and bounty hunters in the groin and face. After killing someone else who I have never met and who had done me no wrong I crouched over his dead body and tea bagged him. I have enslaved a star faring race and then traded those slaves for military secrets. I have spied on other countries, planets and star systems and sabotaged numerous public works to cause strife and disorder. I have starved cities and brought whips down on my workers so that they may finish great works in my name before someone else did the same. I have stabbed kings and rezoned miles of pristine wilderness into ash spewing city hell holes. I have built nuclear reactors and then let them go critical so that I may laugh at the death toll and then, while the people were still putting out the atomic fires, I have unleashed Godzilla and a hurricane onto them. I have built swimming pools and then removed the exit ladders to watch people drown. I have smashed buildings to grab people inside and then eat them.

All of these simulations have trained me well in the off chance I am ever presented with the ability to be an omnipotent, immortal, time traveling, alien, city building, world conquering, sword wielding, post apocalyptic, giant fire breathing, car jacking last great hope for humanity...who also happens to be a complete and total bastard.

more than 5 years ago

Cyan Worlds To Open-Source Myst Online: Uru Live

saladpuncher I realized the moment I fell into the fissure (39 comments)

To me the best thing about Myst was that you were alone and trapped in a mysterious place left to discover what happened to the world and its inhabitants. In a way it reminded me of Planetfall. You "crash land" onto a world and have to fix what is wrong and find out what made it that way. I don't know how you could extend that to an online MMORPG. I never played it though so it may be the best thing since free cake...but the original with its isolation, loneliness, and haunting music is what made it fun.

more than 6 years ago

RIAA Agrees To Take $200-Per-File In Texas Case

saladpuncher What happens? (154 comments)

So what happens if they win? I am not a lawyer but if someone sues you for a trizzillion dollars and you don't have it...what happens? They can't throw you in jail. They can't take your stuff...or can they? They can screw your credit rating up and maybe garnish your wages in the few states that allow it. I have won civil suits before and never got a dime. The judge slaps his gavel down, says "you owe the that dude 500 dollars" and then nothing happens. So what happens if you don't or can't pay the RIAA?

more than 6 years ago


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