The word that you're looking for is hovering. As in "hovercraft".
This isn't flying, this is falling with style!
I mean, how hard is it to ship new devices with something tougher than admin and 1234?
No doubt. They should ship new devices with the default loginname "ImAnIgnorantFool" and the password "andEveryoneKnowsIt"
If I had a person stick their Klout score on their resume I'd beat them with a wiffle bat.
Don't you mean, a whuffie bat?
and a new dad (5 days ago! Woot!)
Oh, man. So that is what they sell on kids.woot!. I thought it was just toys.
Their idea of an offer you can't refuse is an offer... and you'd better not refuse.