How is this even legal? It is a crime to waste the money of corporations..
It is a crime to waste the time of Slashdot readers with idiotic drivel like this.
Maybe some of these tech support companies will put him in prison or send someone to physically harm him.
The first of your suggestions is ludicrous. The second is (surprisingly, coming from you) indeed possible -- provided they can find him. They are criminal enterprises, after all. And there's hope for you! You actually had a coherent thought!